The man who admitted chopping down a cherry tree and went on to chop down the barriers to Liberty so that men could be truly free.

This is the finest sentence ever written.

Only liberals bent on trashing American history would want to honor Abraham Lincoln.

Maybe this will help Mr. “Gamecock”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38RuhqLjb_U

I suppose he’s torqued about it being called “President’s Day” because Washington was, as we all know, a conservative.

the same one who gave a take-home orgy in place of the final exam

awesome!

Well, glad he’s staying on top of the important issues.

The man who admitted chopping down a cherry tree and went on to chop down the barriers to Liberty so that men could be truly free.

Liberty barriers are my favorites after raspbarriers.

So this has been an “amorphous” holiday?

Good to know, as it explains the jelly-like sensation I’ve been feeling today – kind of nauseous, not too steady on my feet, everything looking kind of hazy and wavering. It’s like today isn’t really there, y’know?

The true reformer was the man whose birth we celebrate today. The man who admitted chopping down a cherry tree and went on to chop down the barriers to Liberty so that men could be truly free. .

True…truly…cherry tree??? Is that irony? no seriously what is that? Is it dissimilar than the saying “the weather sucks…literally!”?

Do you get the feeling that DeVine has been running around all day yelling “Happy Washington’s Birthday!” to clerks in WalMart, Best Buy, Sears and any other store that advertised “President’s Day Weekend” sales?

I heard he went onto the subway and shouted “Happy Washington’s Birthday!” all belligerently, then some Jewish guy retorted with “Happy Presidents’ Day!” and Gamecock and all his buddies tried to beat the Jewish guy up.

Does he not care about the need to sell discount sheets and other goods on this day? Does he think that a mere “Washington’s Birthday” would motivate the public to get out there and save our economy through impulse purchasing as would the more noble “President’s Day White and Linen Sale”?

Only liberals bent on trashing American history would want to honor Abraham Lincoln.

The guy that freed the slaves? I heard they posthumously kicked him out of the GOP.

Hey libs! How does it feel to have Ronald Reagan ranked as the 10th
greatest President?

And the fact is, Gary Ruppert called this ages ago.

Has this guy read a book since the sixth grade? No, really, has he?

Books? Books? we don’t need no stinkin’ books!

Gamecock

That’s you cue, Cool Coach Urban.

I’m surprised he didn’t mention the silver dollar thrown across the Potomac and the ascension of George Washington into heaven. Has this guy read a book since the sixth grade? No, really, has he?

He threw a knife into heaven!

(Damn you, Howard C. Kveck!)

RE: “Bird Poop (left)”
thanks, was a bit hard to differentiate.

Dude, get off my holiday.

It’s totally my schtick to whine about Washington’s birthday.

…But mostly ’cause I share his birthday with mine.

The guy that freed the slaves? I heard they posthumously kicked him out of the GOP.

From an astute commenter there – The real result of Lincoln’s presidency was to enslave us all. They just don’t want us to know and most of us don’t

That last part kinda reminds me of Tonto saying, “What you mean ‘we,’ white man?” only all backwards and wrong.

Crissa – Happy birthday. I’m having a white sale in your honor.

In actual history rather than Bonzo Funtime, President’s Day came into being largely because before its serious laundering as a holiday in the 50s, St. Valentine’s was a minor Catholic feast (and St. Patrick’s was a big but necessarily secular one), so there was a giant holiday gap between New Year’s and July 4, with Easter falling somewhere unreliably between. Like a solid majority of American civic days, its presence is one of the large number of arbitrary late-20th introductions that stuck – but the problem is that the practice varies from region to region, with the renascent Southern economy not exactly moving a lot of matresses with a day named after Abe Lincoln and nobody selling a couch on the Third Coast in the name of that periwigged has-been.

I think that the only holiday now left for us liberals to debase is National Corn Dog Cornhole Day.

Next.

Crissa, not really, he was born under the Julian calendar, so we don’t actually know when he was born.

But Happy Birthday to you, today!!

Err, big but necessarily SECTARIAN.

In general, the hilarious thing is that with the exception of a few genuinely principled early libertarians and freethinkers, most of the people leading the charge in the production of the modern secular culture were evangelicals who wanted to cut Caesaropapism off at the pass. Just like the pro-life thing, the schismatics have never really got the hang of whining about the Secular Debasement Of The Sacred – lots of whining and attempting to dog-whistle in, next to no actual understanding of why you ought to be het up.

Also, the consolidation of Washington & Lincoln’s B-Day means there is a day available for Martin Luther King, avoiding all the “We’re not racists but we don’t need another paid Federal Holiday” chatter you’d otherwise hear?

P. S.:Any of you informed people remember if Lincoln’s B-Day was ever a Federal Holiday? Or just state & lower observed?

Shorter wingnut: Everything that I think is bad was caused by liberals.

In other news, I got this lovely email from my pal, Donald E. Wildmon:

You’ve seen the TV show and have perhaps purchased DVDs of Speechless: Silencing the Christians, a documentary series co-produced by the Inspiration Networks and the American Family Association. Now you can get my book which has just been released to you, my friends, and to Christian bookstores and secular markets as well.

Oh, goody! Another book about how the dominant religion in this In-God-We-Trust country is being oppressed, suppressed and compressed!

My purpose in writing the book is to make people aware that Christians are being silenced all across America: in the political debate, the public square, the schools, the workplace, and even in the sanctuary of their own churches. You’ll find accounts by Christians all over the United States that were never (and probably never will be) covered by main stream media.

Can Shania law be far behind? Oh, wait, there’s more:

I have a two-fold purpose in this message as well. First, I’d like for AFA supporters to be able to receive my book for a donation of $24.95. Secondly, I’d like for you to help AFA get the word out about this book. I am including a printable flyer for you to take, not only to your local Christian book store, but to secular book stores as well and asked them to please stock this book. It is my hope and prayer that the information in my book will inspire more and more people to join the fight to keep Christian voices strong in our darkening culture.

Wait a minute – Christian book stores? Those haven’t been outlawed yet? Damn you, Obama! That’s not change we can believe in!

Here’s the flyer:

http://www.afa.net/PDFs/speechlesshandout.pdf

Foreword by Ann Coulter!

M. Bouffant – never was a federal holiday, thanks to southern hostility.

Why look, here’s some information from Wikipoopia.

Many states that had formerly observed Lincoln’s birthday have created a joint holiday to honor both Lincoln and George Washington, sometimes calling it “Presidents Day”. It coincides with the Federal holiday officially designated “Washington’s Birthday”, observed on the third Monday of February. There has never been an annual Federal holiday honoring Lincoln.

It would appear, Mr. “Gamecock,” that this is a states’ rights issue. And we’re sure that you know that the states are always right in their battle against the Federal Gov’t. So shut up, President’s Day it is!

Wait a minute – Christian book stores? Those haven’t been outlawed yet?

Yeah. Selling one’s whine about Christian oppression in Christian book stores is like Rush Limbaugh screeching about censorship by the liberal media on his radio show that screens out liberal callers.

Dumb, but goes over really well for some reason. I think the appeal is sort of like that of horror movies. I can’t get enough of it!

Thanks Jennifer, manged to overcome enough entropy to look myself. When I was young, no school was no school, & we weren’t inclined to examine it deeply.

It would appear, Mr. “Gamecock,” that this is a states’ rights issue. And we’re sure that you know that the states are always right in their battle against the Federal Gov’t. So shut up, President’s Day it is!

You forgot the Bush Corollary: States are always right, except when a brain-dead woman is on life support, or a Republican presidency or the right of automakers to to make gas guzzlers is involved.

“Happy birthday. I’m having a white sale in your honor.”

Happy B-day too Crisa. About that white sale… are they all lily white or can I get some a little off white. My lily white sheets declared war on my coloreds.

Oh man, I could easily see myself failing an end-of-term orgy in so many ways.

I’d be the guy standing awkwardly around with a limp dick trying to raise the flag manually while all the hotties tap it FFFFFFMMMMFFT style.

And let’s not even go there with the placement of the eventual half-thimbleful moneyshot.

Thanks to Sadly, No! my neuroticism about my ability to finish off my masters is now more compelling than the narrative thrust of my erotic fiction. Thanks, Sadly, No!

Who cares, fer crissakes?

What part of “it’s a DAY OFF” are you struggling with?

Hell, babe, I get all christian on good friday.

I feel solidarity with my talmudic cousins on Yom Kippur.

You can catch the back o’me when Eid ul-Fitr rolls around.

I’m an equal opportunity holiday celebrating motherfucker….

mikey

To Hell with Washington and Lincoln!

I celebrate William Henry Harrison Month every year. And then on Day 32, I have a huge party. I think this idea should be spread across the nation, but I am resisted at every turn by people who do not remember the great things Harrison did for this nation.

I can only blame the Free-Soilers and Know-Nothings, as well as their bitter, resentful grandchildren, the Republicans, for their lack of awe and respect for this great Man of the People, what died rather than sully the Inauguration with a coat!

my ability to finish off my masters
B-&-D fantasy FAIL.

What part of “it’s a DAY OFF” are you struggling with?

Exactimundo. If these guys are so het up about it, I’ll take their excess holidays.

commie atheist:

Also, the raids on perfectly state-legal, licensed & regulated cannabis dispensaries. Wouldn’t be Republican w/o that touch of hypocrisy, would it?

Mr. Gamey Cock sure does write purty. Can someone deconstruct this one for me:

Ironically, many of the so-called reformers that would have us celebrate James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson and Richard Nixon, also conveniently looked the other way when evaluating the greatest enslavers and murderers of humanity in the Soviet Union and Red China.

I’m confused. Did I not get the memo from Liberal HQ about celebrating Buchanan, Johnson and Nixon? I always thought Buchanan and Johnson were two of our worser PResidents (and I lived through Nixon, so I came by my loathing for him naturally). Do I need to go to Liberal Re-Education Camp?

I’d be the guy standing awkwardly around with a limp dick trying to raise the flag manually while all the hotties tap it FFFFFFMMMMFFT style.

The only New Year’s I’ve ever celebrated was with the only girl younger than me I’ve ever had a thing with, and it produced a photo which I’m fond of to this day: her brother with one of them mini-flags zipped up in his jeans, saluting.

A little practice with the hips, I have since realized, and you can raise it without appearing to move. Great party trick.

Poor fucker joined the Air Force, though.

Do you get the feeling that DeVine has been running around all day yelling “Happy Washington’s Birthday!” to clerks in WalMart, Best Buy, Sears and any other store that advertised “President’s Day Weekend” sales?

He’s probably more pissed off because he had to work today while many of us state and federal types (union members and liberals all) got a paid holiday.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I can only blame the Free-Soilers
The what? You people had a political party devoted to the cause of crapping anywhere they wanted?!
Talk about a single-issue party.

also conveniently looked the other way when evaluating the greatest enslavers and murderers of humanity in the Soviet Union and Red China.
Mr Gamecock will fight bravely against your plans to impose Stalin Day and Mao Day holidays!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

LOL! Thank my uncertainty about whether there’s a God I’m a state employee!

Not to mention the Free Night-Soilers. Man. That 19th century was sumpthin around here!

mikey: Surely you’re all a-wearin’ o’ th’ green on March 17 too, right laddie?

Oh man, I could easily see myself failing an end-of-term orgy in so many ways.

I hear they have tutors…

The what? You people had a political party devoted to the cause of crapping anywhere they wanted?!

Republican ancestors. It all paints a clear picture of where they came from now, doesn’t it.

that touch of hypocrisy

My favorite Doris Day movie.

Hey, DeVoon! Bugs Bunny called when you were in the can, he said, “Nnyeahh, what’s up, gamecock?” And he wants to know when he can get his teeth back.

I kid of course, they were anti-slavery proponents, but still, it’s a funny ass name.

Well, Lincoln did free the slaves and let them vote and all, and look how that turned out.

As long as anyone is at war with Christmas, I am not Santa Claus.

Republican ancestors. It all paints a clear picture of where they came from now, doesn’t it.

Hey, be fair to our forebears. The Republican gay issue today is overcompensation; the Republican gay issue in the 19th century was Lincoln’s tight, unforgettable thighs.

Xecky, that’s the bestest Jack Chick ever! I love the little Hitler Youth kid.

Well, maybe this isn’t the bottom of the Barrel of Indignation, but we are getting a kind of thudding sound when the scoop goes in.

I can tell the Free-Soilers lost because Home Depot ALWAYS charges me for bags of dirt.

any so-called amorphous “President’s Day” requiring celebrations of 43 Presidential oath takers.
‘When I use an apostrophe,’ Humpty Devine said, in a rather scornful tone,’ it goes just what I choose to put it.’

Did I not get the memo from Liberal HQ about celebrating Buchanan, Johnson and Nixon
Mr Devine is under the impression that a Presidents’ Day obliges you to celebrate all presidents, even incompetent and morally repugnant ones, though he could have picked even worse examples.

I give it until May Day, WereBear.

Or maybe Obama is less than appropriately genuflecting towards a veteran on Memorial Day, and they scream and caterwaul about stabbing the troops (retired) in the back.

All in all, May’s when the bottom is reached.

I can tell the Free-Soilers lost because Home Depot ALWAYS charges me for bags of dirt.

They can’t treat me like dirt. I’m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store-bought dirt that comes in bags. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I can’t compete with that stuff.

I hear they have tutors…
And summer schools.
OK, I didn’t hear that, but I watched it on a video.

Mikey makes the point about these people that they don’t actually give a shit about what they are flapping on about. It is all a cloaking device (so cunning you could put whiskers on it and call it a weasel) for more Obamee and teh Liberuls bashing.
Then they wonder why we laugh at them.

Would Arbor Day as awful hope & change/invest in the future/Al Gore crap be pretty much at the bottom of the barrel?

President Obama and the Politics of Fear
By Monte Kuligowski
In an unprecedented campaign to sell his trillion-dollar taxpayer spending plan, President Obama has gone beyond talking down the economy. During his first nationally televised news conference, President Obama warned of a pending economic “catastrophe” if Congress doesn’t immediately pass and implement his $800 billion-plus economic “stimulus” plan.

Obama’s use of fear and coercion to implement his plan of loading the country with insurmountable debt is shockingly reckless and blatantly inappropriate, to say the least.

With the exception of the housing and mortgage industries (which were corrupted by government intervention for social “reinvestment”) the aggregate economy was not at crisis level in 2008. Not only was John McCain correct in saying that the fundamentals of the total economy were sound during the campaign; he was also being responsible with his words and with his expression of faith.

Yes, faith. Any economist will tell you that a large component of the free market economy is purely psychological and unscientific. The market goes up and down based on a society’s level of confidence. An unshakable confidence will send the market through the roof, whereas fear and insecurity will drive it down into miserly despair.

Though the current recession’s “misery index” is half of what it was during the recession of the Carter years, President Obama, according to Fact Check, continues to falsely say that: “We also inherited the most profound economic emergency since the Great Depression.” One doesn’t have to go back to the Great Depression to find a higher unemployment rate. It is currently 7.6 percent. In June of 1992 it was 7.8 percent. In 1982 it reached 10.2 percent.

If Obama keeps talking down the economy with fear mongering and false assertions, I suppose things could eventually get to the misery level of the 1930s.

In case you haven’t noticed, the market is scared to death of Barack Obama and his central-control economic plans. On Jan. 20, 2009, the stock market saw its worst Inauguration Day drop in U.S. history — losing 332 points, sliding the Dow to 7949. On Feb. 10, the day the Senate passed its version of Obama’s $838 billion spending plan, the Dow plunged 382 points.

President Obama speaks well of capitalism, correctly noting that the creation of jobs and economic growth “is the role of the private sector.” Obama has a way of saying what most people want to hear while doing the exact opposite (like his rhetoric of tax cuts for 95% of Americans). At this point, it should be no surprise that Obama believes “the federal government is the only entity left with the resources to jolt our economy back to life.”

By “resources,” we must assume Obama is speaking of future tax revenue from which the private sector will attempt to pay back Obama’s present and future spending mania.

How burying the tax payers in unprecedented stimulus and reinvestment debt will “jolt” the economy back to life remains to be explained by Obama. Neither has he provided any specifics as to how his “Reinvestment Plan” will translate into (“saving or creating”) four million private sector jobs. He can’t be speaking of government jobs inasmuch as they produce a tax burden, not economic prosperity.

The word “reinvestment” is code for “spread the wealth around,” and those of Obama’s mindset believe that taking from the producers and giving to non-producers somehow produces wealth.

In order to reinvest taxpayer money, though, Obama needs the public to believe that without trillions in government intervention the country is doomed to an “irreversible” economic “catastrophe.”

The liberal and conservative sentiments as to what the federal government can do to help the economy are as conflicting as night and day. Nevertheless, Obama paints a simplistic picture of conservatives setting “aside smaller differences in service of a greater purpose.”

Mr. Obama attempted to both woo and coerce conservative lawmakers into setting aside their core values to prevent a “catastrophic emergency.” Republicans were supposed to hastily pledge themselves to The One without the benefit of full scrutiny and disclosure (as to where the money will go) of the plan to the American people. With the exceptions of Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe of Maine and Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, the Republicans have stood strong against the frantic rush to “stimulate” the economy.

Obama is Chicago streetwise enough to want Republicans to own with him his plan that is destined to failure (in the sense of reviving the economy). Perhaps sensing the pending catastrophe of his plan, Mr. O adds the disclaimer, “I can’t tell you for sure that everything in this plan will work exactly as we hope, but I can tell you with complete confidence that a failure to act will only deepen this crisis….” He doesn’t know whether it will work, but has “complete confidence” that things will worsen if it’s not passed — right now.

Obama has been able to control his self-fulfilling prophecy of a worsening stock market by fear mongering and talking down the economy. And, the looming threat of his monstrous, debt-inducing spending package itself is enough to make investors queasy.

President Obama believes that only government can rescue people out of these difficult times. That, unfortunately, is the antithesis to the American spirit as expressed by Thomas Jefferson years ago: “A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free

Speaking of ‘and next they’ll come for Thankskgiving’, Chick also has words on the topic.

Mr Devine is under the impression that a Presidents’ Day obliges you to celebrate all presidents, even incompetent and morally repugnant ones, though he could have picked even worse examples.

Smut, I always assumed it was a combination of Washington’s and Lincoln’s b-days, since they’re both, you know, in February, and shit. But that’s just me.

Holy crap, Xecky, and I mean that literally. The Chick Tract site says of that atrocity “- This title requires a minimum order of 10,000 copies. ” This, however, looks AWESOME. I might get for everyone I know on Nixon Day!

Gamecock cross-posts his drivel at Race 4 2008 2012. Judging from the reactions to his Valentine’s Day post, it appears the regulars have determined he’s a kook. He, nonetheless, maintains a different opinion of himself.

Smut, I always assumed it was a combination of Washington’s and Lincoln’s b-days, since they’re both, you know, in February, and shit. But that’s just me.

Well, how about this: I don’t like having to deal with no federal holidays in late summer, so we and the wingnuts can meet in the middle: Barack Obama And The Horrific Unnecessary Incineration Of Hundreds Of Thousands Of Japanese Civilians Day. August 7, let’s say – that way I get to take the day off after my own b-day. C’mon, now. Let’s be reasonable.

Oh they do give a shit,at least to keep the base agitated. (Granted, the specific threat isn’t the most important factor for many of them.) And just like the god-bovverers, they have to keep re&#0235nforcing their message, because it’s so bogus that it must be echo-chambered into the faithful’s brains on a non-stop basis, else they’ll “go native” or something. Such is the faith & belief the leaders of the right wing packs have in their “beliefs,” patriotism, etc.

Hrmph. And still you libruls fail to properly celebrate the birthday of our nation’s 2nd greatest leader ever, General Robert E. Lee (after Ronald Reagan, of course).

(scroll…scroll…scroll…)

The real question is has *any* republican read a book since the sixth grade. I would opine that the obvious answer is, no and they didn’t do a lot reading before that.

Nor Jeff Davis! It’s a travishamockery!

Race 4 2012 is a hoot. They still have the photo-roll of candidates from the right on the left sidebar?

Home Depot ALWAYS charges me for bags of dirt.
At the fancier garden stores they call it “Bags of Matter in the Wrong Place”, and charge more for it.

El Cid: Well, Virginia celebrate King/Lee/Stonewall Day.

It is kind of harmful to my brain to really contemplate that day for more than a few minutes though.

What, he’s against the only holiday that will ever celebrate George W. Bush?

“My purpose in writing the book is to make people aware that Christians are being silenced all across America: in the political debate, the–”

Oh shut up.

Arbor Day was created by Free-Soilers who wanted to climb trees and crap on Gamecock DeVine.

And bags of sand? Are they free in the post-Bush world?

Many here have offered up a bag of dicks, gratis.

El Cid: Well, Virginia celebrate King/Lee/Stonewall Day.

Yes, but it ain’t a national holiday, given how hard so many of the soldiers of the Lost Cause fought and died to give a large part of our nation freedom.

What, he’s against the only holiday that will ever celebrate George W. Bush?

Shhh!! We were waiting to see the look on his face when he figured that out for himself. You’ll ruin everything…

Alec, thanks, that’s a Chick tract I somehow missed.

No one can bring the crazy quite like him.

And I agree with Trotsky; they are outright losing their shit.

What are there signs of the Wingnut End Times?

Maybe instead of the moon turning to blood, it becomes actual blue cheese?

Maybe instead of the moon turning to blood, it becomes actual blue cheese?

Especially since so much cheese, especially blue cheese, is French!!!

At the fancier garden stores they call it “Bags of Matter in the Wrong Place”, and charge more for it.

Yeah, but I can never find those.

And bags of sand? Are they free in the post-Bush world?

If you get your hands on any, let us know.

Yes, but it ain’t a national holiday

If there’s anything that’s a State’s Rights issue, that would be it.

Creed rules.

Also, I link to this not because it’s appropriate, but because it’s funny: a barrage of surreal Fox images.

El Cid: Well, Virginia celebrate King/Lee/Stonewall Day.

It is kind of harmful to my brain to really contemplate that day for more than a few minutes though.

Sweet Home Alabama ends in ‘Montgomery’s got the answer’, as is universally ignored by its idiot fanbase. The South is basically the region of the country that’s been fucked hardest and longest by the dress-sock-wearing options-owning Republican-donating cuntfuckers who got us into this mess, and once they’ve well and truly hung their peanut gallery out to dry, I’d count on them being the core of the nascent political left, and people cling to regional and local identity shit really readily.

Virginia, at the very least, has an excuse. Celebrating Lee and Stonewall was and to an extent remains a way of lording it over the pissant also-rans down south. You can piss and moan about segregation all you like, sez they, but you try seceding without us and seeing whether it gets any farther than an angry Supreme Court.

El Cid: Well, I for one always celebrate Robert E. Lee’s birthday because it is also my birthday. And Dolly Parton’s. And Janis Joplin’s. I think it should be a national holiday and in fact Jan. 19 seems frequently to be MLK Day, which is cool too.

Gamecock cross-posts his drivel at Race 4 2008 2012. Judging from the reactions to his Valentine’s Day post, it appears the regulars have determined he’s a kook. He, nonetheless, maintains a different opinion of himself.

Lo and behold, you can post responses there with links in them.

Creed rules.

Now that’s what I’m talking about! Check out Stapp rippping it up on guitar.

That is, I think it should be a national holiday because it’s MY birthday, not because it’s Lee’s. Although Dolly probably deserves a national holiday all unto her own self.

Dolly deserves TWO holidays.

Ba-doom-bah!

I think it should be a national holiday and in fact Jan. 19 seems frequently to be MLK Day, which is cool too.

I like that it was the last full day that last fucker was President. I wrote a little about it, and then the next morning while I was looking for video of the inauguration I tried whitehouse.gov and there was Obama’s smiling face. And for those precious moments in between 12:00 EST and the botched oath, the people taking state money to call MLK a pederast were helpless, as helpless as Cheney after the Iraqi army collapsed as effortlessly as it had in 1991 and it turned out to be Vietnam after all. We made some big men cry.

We are also the nation that is racist and refuses to celebrate our daring and death-defying liberation of Grenada from the Cuban-Soviet-Chinese-Constructionist-British-Canadian forces.

I wonder what Barack Obama thinks about the twenty-fifth anniversary of the liberation of Grenada? Marxists were thrown out of power. Americans were liberators of the grateful Grenadian people. Would President Obama have acted in October 1983? Or would he have visited with Hudson Austin and paid a call to Castro? Does Obama consider the liberation of Grenada a success? Surely that is a fair question for the mystery who wants to lead America.

“as helpless as Cheney after the Iraqi army collapsed as effortlessly as it had in 1991 and it turned out to be Vietnam after all. We made some big men cry.”

We won in Iraq, no thanks to libs.

You weren’t able to stab us in the back like you did in Vietnam.

Wasn’t that whole Grenada thing just an excuse for Reagan to wag his dick at people?

“#Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

February 17, 2009 at 3:39

Wasn’t that whole Grenada thing just an excuse for Reagan to wag his dick at people?”

No, you’re thinking of Clinton and Kosovo.

We won in Iraq, no thanks to libs.

I don’t think “win” means what you think it means. Unless you think “win” means throwing billions of dollars down a rathole, unaccounted for, in exchange for such wonders as a military barracks that electrocutes its residents, and has rivers of sewage falling from the ceiling.

Wasn’t that whole Grenada thing just an excuse for Reagan to wag his dick at people?

No. Without his brave defiance of the Democrat-Marxist-Bishopite revolution, construction battalions for British-designed airports would be riding the backs of American medical students across the Caribbean and invading somewhere along the Gulf Coast, or maybe Western Florida, depending on how successfully U.S. medical students float.

Clearly they were the water-borne force to meet up with Nicaragua’s Sandinistas who were, in Ronaldus of Reagan’s words, a mere 2 days drive from Harlingen, Texas (not counting any difficulties driving columns of armed forces and troops up through the entirety of Guatemala and Mexico).

You have no idea how close we were to buying it.

“I don’t think “win” means what you think it means. ”

We dealt a major defeat to Al Qaeda in the heart of the Arab world, and showed America’s steely resolve.

When are these people and their ilky ilk going to realize that Washington, Madison, Jefferson, et.al, were LIBERALS, and that all the conservatives were fucking Tories – both adjectivially and verbally?

.

Iraq today is a fledgling democracy instead of a terrorist playpen for Saddam Hussein.

Well, we “bought it” in Iraq, certainly.

JGabriel–

The Patriots were for small government, the Tories were for big government and higher taxes. That’s just a fact!

“Ilky Ilk”, by the way, is my hip hop name (and my porn name is Stimulus Bill).

.

Back in the 18th Century the libs would have told the Bostonians to pay that tax on tea, because taxes are “patriotic” (h/t Joe Biden).

And a tourist hotspot. William Shatner just booked me two wks, in Baghdad & a wk. in Fallujah. Hot damn! See y’all there!

We dealt a major defeat to Al Qaeda in the heart of the Arab world, and showed America’s steely resolve.

We got the wrong address, like a bunch of LAPD Drug Enforcement Cops knocking down a retired transit worker’s door – no wonder we met with some return fire.

“showing steely resolve” – oh, now that’s the mark of victory!

Wasn’t that whole Grenada thing just an excuse for Reagan to wag his dick at people?

Mostly, it was a way for Reagan to slap down the SpecOps community.

But making them operate as regular units, he killed got a large number of SEALs and Beanies killed and wounded, and pretty much “showed them who’s boss”.

Of course, yeah, it turned out they had a better handle on 21st century conflict than Ronnie and the Generals, but, it was about power, not success…

mikey

The man who admitted chopping down a cherry tree and went on to chop down the barriers to Liberty so that men could be truly free

This is the finest sentence ever written.

Man i haven’t read a book since 4th grade (not true btw just for comic effect and shit!) and even I know that’s a fragment NOT a sentence! (And whoever invented html was not a weed smoker, damn why it got to be so complicated like from the 50’s or whatever!)

Back in the 18th Century the libs would have told the Bostonians to pay that tax on tea…

Back in the 18th C. the libs were the ones tossing the tea off the boat, and the conservative were the ones calling them “dirty hippies” and bemoaning the fate of the British nation.

.

Oh man it worked though, oh the little fuckin victories!!!

Please don’t feed the troll.

““showing steely resolve” – oh, now that’s the mark of victory!”

It’s something the libs don’t know how to do (see: Carter bending over for Iran in ’79).

Once the Mullahs saw Reagan was in power and he meant business, they released the hostages.

Oh wait I thought you were callin me a troll–I was getting ready to ask you to step outside the cyberzone tintin!

And finally, a bold and courageous conservative answer to Phil Ochs’ “Here’s to the State of Mississippi” and to the super-evil Tim Robbins who brought it back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKVAd871yOM

Take that, Al Sharpton! Take that, Jimmy Carter! Find yourself another country to be part of!

We… showed America’s steely resolve.
Is that what you are calling it now? Eeewww. Put it back in your pants.

and my porn name is Stimulus Bill

I think most folks want to see more money shot details. I know I do!

I always assumed it was a combination of Washington’s and Lincoln’s b-days, since they’re both, you know, in February, and shit. But that’s just me.

Just as I always assumed that “Happy Holidays” was a convenient shorthand for all the holidays that fall in November and December. Another perfectly respectable and handy phrase rendered “controversial” by these dickheads.

conservative answer to Phil Ochs’ “Here’s to the State of Mississippi”

No. Just no.

Oh I luvz me some killing file, baby

Check out this ridiculous fail of a sentence:
Yes, he was a slaveowner, but he fathered a nation that put slavery on the path to destruction and which has freed more of humanity from tyranny than in all of human history.
I don’t know if he’s just missing a noun phrase such as “freed more of humanity than any other nation in all of human history,” but this sentence is seriously fucked.

Was it the Pegster who first coined the “steely” adjective for Bush? Ah, yes, the great Gazoogle has it:

The American president has, meanwhile, demonstrated to the entire world that he is neither a bombastic naïf nor a reckless cowboy but, in fact, another kind of American stereotype: the steely-eyed rocket man.

That sure bore out true, huh? Good times, good times.

Just as I always assumed that “Happy Holidays” was a convenient shorthand for all the holidays that fall in November and December.

Uh huh. Libruls never understand how subversion works.

First, they said “Happy Holidays” to the shopkeepers, but I wasn’t a shopkeeper, so I said nothing.
Then they said “Happy Holidays” to the restaurant owners, but I wasn’t a restaurant owner, so I said nothing.
And finally they said “Happy Holidays” to me, and there was no one left to scream “Merry Christmas” at the top of their voice to me.

tigrismus said,

February 17, 2009 at 4:04

conservative answer to Phil Ochs’ “Here’s to the State of Mississippi”

No. Just no.

Needs more Scott Stapp. (or not)

P.S. I want to thank R.B. for everything I know about Creed. I had no idea!

Once the Mullahs saw Reagan was in power and he meant business, they released the hostages.

Well, that and a little cash and the promise of some sweet, sweet cocaine-trade profits! And the cake! Don’t forget the bible-shaped cake!

Oops, sorry, I just couldn’t resist a little trip to the ’80s.

Yes, he was a slaveowner, but he fathered a nation
I thought it was Jefferson with the reputation for spreading around his American DNA.

The 80s were a true Golden Age for the United States.

Actually, Phil Ochs did his own remake. Amazing how well it fits a recent occupant of the office.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

P.S. I want to thank R.B. for everything I know about Creed. I had no idea!

Aren’t they good. ‘New hair’ heh heh

Herr Dr. Martens I think you’ll find that Jefferson was a means of transport for American DNA.

Fine link, tigrismus. I’ve been on a Joe Hill youtube fest myself, lately…So that one fits in nicely.

Mostly, it was a way for Reagan to slap down the SpecOps community.

I hadn’t heard about this. Thanks for the history lesson.

We got the wrong address, like a bunch of LAPD Drug Enforcement Cops knocking down a retired transit worker’s door – no wonder we met with some return fire.

Yeah, that’s the trouble with a) going off half-cocked, as it were and b) “Ledeen Doctrine”-type stupid. If you respond to actual attacks by going after the wrong people, or attack people for no reason at all, there’s no reason for anyone to coöperate with you. The conservative notion of “meaning business” is the dumbest possible way to interact with the world.

Just when you thought there were no more holidays for secular humanist homo-loving liberals to declare war on

Too bad there isn’t a National Right Wing Moustache Day because I’d love to tear that apart.

A blogger says: Holy shit. Watching “Right America: feeling wronged” on HBO. Whoa. Should be required viewing. Wow. CRAzY!

Has anyone seen this?

Is a link to a Salon article about ‘Right America: feeling wronged’

tigrismus said | February 17, 2009 at 4:23

Actually, Phil Ochs did his own remake. Amazing how well it fits a recent occupant of the office.

Shrillness like that only hurts us and in no way helps us come together to insure that Nixon’s leadership of the country is as good and unifying as it can be. You are promoting partisan disharmony. Unchecked, that leads to the wishing of “Happy Holidays” and the notion of “Presidents’ Day”.

Just when you thought there were no more holidays for secular humanist homo-loving liberals to declare war on

I’m waiting for all the fuss about the big, obvious holidays like Christmas and Presidents’ Day to pass, and looking forward to our efforts on the lesser holidays – you know, Secretaries’ Day and St. Patrick’s Day and National Holistic Pet Day.

From Another kiwi’s link—

When Alexandra Pelosi made the Emmy-winning documentary “Journeys With George” in 2000

It just gets more painful from there. I stopped here:

Well, more than 58 million people voted for John McCain, and I know that everyone on the coasts is on an Obama honeymoon right now, and they seem to forget that more than 58 million people did not want Barack Obama to be their president. And when I was traveling over the summer and I would go to rallies and 20,000 people would be there, it’s hard to say I knew Obama was going to win. They had some real enthusiasm at these events for the GOP ticket. So, I did not go out presupposing that Barack Obama was going to be president.

Welp, she’s her mother’s daughter alright.

To anyone facing the temptation: looks like twoofio’s only in it tonight to gargle on Molly Ringwald’s dick. Lotsa narrative babbling, nothing worthwhile.

Hey, pal, I still wish folks a Happy Nixon Day every August 9. War on THAT!

Well, more than 58 million people voted for John McCain, and I know that everyone on the coasts is on an Obama honeymoon right now, and they seem to forget that more than 58 million people did not want Barack Obama to be their president. And when I was traveling over the summer and I would go to rallies and 20,000 people would be there, it’s hard to say I knew Obama was going to win. They had some real enthusiasm at these events for the GOP ticket. So, I did not go out presupposing that Barack Obama was going to be president.

I’ve always loved this kind of shit, especially coming from people who live on the coasts and assume the interior is full of noble savages. I mean, I don’t seem to recall Iowa or Colorado being Jewlywood liberjew country, but y’know, keep on pulling shit out your ass. You drew out a close enough defeat from the billions of Scaife and the televangelists du jour threw at blackfacing the terrible Arsenio Hall sax-man and to steal and proceeded to fuck up the country so bad that you lost North Carolina to a black man with Hussein in his name. You bought it, now fuckin’ choke on it.

Wait, that’s from Pelosi? Goddamn it, I fucking hate this party.

It seems all Pelosi’s are as clueless as Nancy.

Hey, pal, I still wish folks a Happy Nixon Day every August 9. War on THAT!

I have the original sticker issued by the EPA at its founding (well a couple months later) in 1971 in wonderful blue and green symbol of a flower over Earth saying “You Can Save The World.”

Nixon. Hmph. Damn librul.

I want to see the edited down clips of A. Pelosi’s film such that it’s entirely composed of scenes of righties weeping and gnashing their teeth and flipping out.

But only if it’s different than what the GOP’s doing on the TV every day since Obama slapped the stimulus bill into law over their whining.

YOU will be doing the teeth mashing and wailing come 2012 and President Palin!

Teeth “mashing”?

Well, I think we all know how THAT turned out, El Cid.

Phone it in troll is phoning.

Hey, a Washington Post reviewer gives it 5 whines up!

It’s drive-by journalism, to put it charitably, a string of stupefyingly brief hit-and-run interviews with a bunch of unidentified people who we know are going to say nothing that will surprise us. By then, we’ve already figured out they’re going to be fried by Pelosi’s camera. We know they’re going to sound like yahoos, often goaded, always reduced to sound bites and caricatures.

All the conventions of the smirking, winking, belittling political documentary are abided by in this film. An inordinate number of the yahoos wear T-shirts and weird caps. There is the obligatory NASCAR tailgating scene with the requisite Confederate flags and some white guys saying they’ll never vote for any black man. There are a couple of campaign events sporting all-American schoolgirl choruses who sound like they’re right off the “Up With People” tour bus. There is a young guy whose T-shirt, meant to deride Obama, declares “Say No to Socilism,” and when Alexandra Pelosi tells him he’s misspelled socialism and asks him to define it, we know he’s not going to be able to, that he’s going to say something way wrong and stupid — which he does, offering that socialism is “basically, it’s like the views of Hitler. It’s between like communism and — I don’t know what the other word is.”

In short, it’s good yuks time.

Snark aside, what is this nonsense? Where is the modern conservative right wing to be found on the street which communicates in anything other than soundbites and caricatures?

Their fucking candidate for President highlighted Not-Joe the Not-Plumber to the status of a fucking policy analyst.

What? If only it hadn’t been mean old Alexandra Pelosi then a random stroll up to some unknown right winger protesting Obama’s “socialism” would have delivered a quick dissertation on the history of state-government-economic relations?

Who are these people who think that accurately quoting the fucking mainstream of the fucking Republican Party is unfair?

See I think that Newtie is positioning himself as the next Republican candidate, just another has-been with a sense of entitlement. So it will be amusing to watch him and the Palin-ites butt heads.

OTOH, I feel pretty certain that, the way she’s going, Palin is going to abandon public service for something more lucrative, like being a talking head on Fox News. Did you see the videos of her recent press conference? Rea-a-a-l-l-l-ly embarrassing. It makes you realize how hard she must have boned up for the Katie Couric interviews.

My prediction is that she and Todd are looking for the next gravy train ticket out of Alaska, and someplace where there’s no shame in having someone buy designer clothes for you. Like Fox News.

Newt is good, but Cantor is the future of Republican leadership. Newt is in the past.

We have a STRONG bench of potential Presidents in 2012, Dems–theres Palin, Newt, Cantor, Jindal, Huntsman, Cornyn, Coburn–etc. Lots of strong conservatives with wide appeal.

Check this out:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/16/buffalo.beheading/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

So it will be amusing to watch him and the Palin-ites butt heads.

Will it be literal? Will they actually put Newt & Sarah in a field and have them run at each other and smash heads together? I think Palin has the speed and vitality advantage, but Newt has a big, massive f***ing head.

Lots of strong conservatives with wide appeal.

If you ever want to demonstrate someone the meaning of “oxymoron” this is a great example.

El Cid, Palin cheats because she’s got the back-combing going for her. Newt will have to buy a toupee to compete.

I can’t understand why the Permanent Republican Majority did not enact Alferd Packer Day.

From a contemporary newspaper account:

“Stand up yah voracious man-eatin’ sonofabitch and receive yir sintince. When yah came to Hinsdale County, there was siven Dimmycrats. But you, yah et five of ’em, goddam yah. I sintince yah t’ be hanged by th’ neck ontil yer dead, dead, dead, as a warnin’ ag’in reducin’ th’ Dimmycratic populayshun of this county. Packer, you Republican cannibal, I would sintince ya ta hell but the statutes forbid it.”

Now there’s a Republican hero.

Lots of strong conservatives with wide appeal.

Name six.

Where is the modern conservative right wing to be found on the street which communicates in anything other than soundbites and caricatures?

It’s not just on the street, at least since Bill Buckley died.

“Lots of strong conservatives with wide appeal.

Name six.”

Jindal, Palin, Huntsman, Sanford, Cornyn, Graham.

You can also add Pawlenty and Daniels.

I think Palin has the speed and vitality advantage, but Newt has a big, massive f***ing head.

U-T00bz haz an answer?

Well Cornyn is already pretty thin on the top – let’s hope he doesn’t react to a little good-natured teasing by his wife the way McCain did. And I hate to say it, but Cantor looks like he’s going to have a bit of hair loss by 2012 – you can just tell by looking at him. And Coburn looks like he already uses the spray-on stuff.

JIndal may keep his hair a bit longer. But, still, none of them can beat Palin in a head-butt contest. Also, she’s got less inside the skull to risk, so she’s fearless.

I celebrate Dock Ellis day every June 12.
And little known fact: Robert E. Lee hated slavery and refused to own slaves. Also, his first act as president of Washington and Lee University was to stop mandatory morning prayer. Bookmark that, wingnuts.

Huntsman? Sanford? Daniels? Who the hell are they? Wide appeal? I’ve never heard of them.

Oh, Graham. Now THERE’S a steely-eyed rocketman for you.

G–

Too bad they can’t get hair plugs like Biden! /sarcasm

But, still, none of them can beat Palin in a head-butt contest. Also, she’s got less inside the skull to risk, so she’s fearless.

That, and her hair is lacquered onto an aluminum core riveted to her skull (h/t Zippy the Pinhead).

I’m not seeing the “wide appeal” in that set, sadly.

And sorry for feeding the beastie.

“Huntsman? Sanford? Daniels?”

The Governors of Utah, South Carolina, and Indiana respectively. All extremely popular.

Crist is popular but he’s a little…you know.

Why do conservatives keep bragging about the appeal of their wide stances?

Huntsman? Sanford? Daniels? Who the hell are they? Wide appeal? I’ve never heard of them.

Huntsman is a big deal here in Utah (governor, at the moment). He’s a rich guy whose family is in cancer-causing pollutant manufacture – but at least they’ve funded a bunch of cancer cure research as well, which doesn’t make up for it, but is a nice gesture.

A Republican being popular in Utah is a measure of “wide appeal”, apparently. By that yardstick it’s no surprise Mitt Romney clinched the ’08 nom.

I think instead of the standard primary, a head-butting contest would be great for the Republican party. Then for the next level, they could all bite a head off a chicken – or a turkey, in the case of Palin.

Kind of like that reality show I don’t want to google the name of.

Another possible future President who would beat BHO–Haley Barbour.

Lots of wide conservatives with strong aromas.

Now that would be cool!! I’d like to see Haley Barbour go one-on-one with B. Hussein on the basketball court!!!

There’s charisma!

I think instead of the standard primary, a head-butting contest would be great for the Republican party. Then for the next level, they could all bite a head off a chicken – or a turkey, in the case of Palin.

The question, though, is if you win does that make you the head of the Republican Party, or does winning save you from that role?

Haley Barbour was great in “Monster’s Ball”.

What?

Mike Huckabee is charismatic but he’s too much of a lib/socialist on fiscal policy.

Mike Huckabee will be back up to 300 lbs. by 2012.

Oh, and the wildcard–General Petraeus.

Mike Huckabee will be back up to 300 lbs. by 2012.

Excellent. That should give him the weight advantage, and if he can keep up his jogging routine at the heavier weight, Huckabee then just has to work on his head thickness in order to handle Newt in the long run head butting.

The question, though, is if you win does that make you the head of the Republican Party, or does winning save you from that role?

The really funny thing is that, even if the Redoublechins do choose a decent candidate, they’ll become unelectable through having to appease the lunatic base by saying all sorts of atavistic sexist / racist / voodoo-economic bullshit. In public.

a head-butting contest
Up whose butt will they be asked to insert their heads?

The Republicans will be fully superceded when the public is no longer required to go to them for hate. I mean, it’s a necessary part of suburban life and all, but whining about civics classes and famous bald men is stupefyingly dull, so much so that even their big wheels tend to sign off every campaign with ‘Thank God I don’t have to keep on doing this shit for you assholes any more’.

Yeah, Haley Barbour – I think that a 62 year old fat guy is exactly what the Republican Party needs as its standard bearer! Just think how he will excite the base!

And he and Sarah will make a great pair – I’m sure he’ll be delighted to serve as her VP.

Newt, ole ‘rock head’ himself.

The Huckster is toast!

Bob Corker, too!

Yeah, Lindsay “Mental Recession” Graham, whose big mouth will make him almost as popular as his free-the-banks-from-regulation legislation of the ’90s. Run his chinless face w/ Palin in 2012, please.

And then he, Crist, McConnell & Larry Craig will get caught in the airport bathrooms on the way back from the triumphal GOP convention.

Please.

“You forgot Poland!”

Mmmmmmm…toast!!!!! [gargling sound]

“YOU TELL TONY BLAIR!!! YOU TELL TONY BLAIR!!!”

“Yeah, Lindsay “Mental Recession” Graham”

That was PHIL Graham who made that comment, not Lindsay.

Oh, and finally, the name that makes liberals cower in fear–JEB BUSH.

but whining about civics classes and famous bald men

Be fair alec, a civics class about Telly Savalas would be boring

Oh, and finally, the name that makes liberals cower in fear clutch their sides with hysterical laughter –JEB BUSH.

Fixed that for you.

Why is it that Republicans like to elect people whose last names are double entendres?

Who loves ya, baby?

Jeb was an EXTREMELY popular Governor of Florida. If he were nominated, Florida would be in the bag out of the gate!

Why is it that Republicans like to elect people whose last names are double entendres?

Whatever happened to Bob Bigwanger?

Why is it that Republicans like to elect people whose last names are double entendres?

LICK BUSH

Who loves ya, baby?

I can’t hear that without mentally concluding “the furniture store, that’s who!” Again, fuckin’ Nevada.

Don’t think that Palin will settle for the #2 slot on the ticket. I’m sure her little Jeezis-filled heart is set on being on top of the pile, & the actual destruction of the R Party may be set in motion by her dividing the party.

5:39 is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read in my life. I like to read it in the voice of Joe from “Family Guy”.

Florida has been in the bag for many years. If you know what I mean.

Whatever happened to Bob Bigwanger?

He started strong, but had to withdraw. He shot his wad when Hooker entered the race and drew off all the funding.

“#M. Bouffant said,

February 17, 2009 at 5:43

Don’t think that Palin will settle for the #2 slot on the ticket. I’m sure her little Jeezis-filled heart is set on being on top of the pile, & the actual destruction of the R Party may be set in motion by her dividing the party.”

They used to say the same thing about Ronald Reagan!

Ooops. Is there an objective difference between the Grahams? Oh, Phil’s the goofy brother, & Lindsay’s the squarer but gay one? And they aren’t biological brothers? OK.

Of course, I want to fuck Ronald Reagan even more than I do Sarah Palin, if such a thing is possible.

You’re laughing at Palin just like libs laughed at The Gipper in 1980–but come election night they weren’t laughing anymore!

Herr Ober! K&#246nnen wir neue Trollen haben bitte?

Fick dich WortPress

Dear Conservative Observer,
Stop living in me or I’m charging you rent.

Fake troll iz fake.

But I guess everybody knows that, and is happy.

A Republican being popular in Utah is a measure of “wide appeal”, apparently. By that yardstick it’s no surprise Mitt Romney clinched the ‘08 nom.

Joe Hill didn’t want to be buried in Utah. I can understand that. I’ve had fun skiing the mountains to the SW of Salt Lake City, on the other hand.

Don’t think that Palin will settle for the #2 slot on the ticket.

I actually think Palin’s going to go for the money instead. I think she’s looking for some easy money, and presidentin’ is going to be too hard work for the pay. Hell, she’s already racked up so many days out of the office in Alaska she makes George W. Bush look like a workaholic.

My prediction is she’s going to go for some of that sweet Wingnut Welfare – she’ll “write” a book, get a job at Fox News, and find some nice lobbyist job for Todd.

Phil is the Gramm, as in being really close to that measure of weight being forced upon America by the gay Islamo-commie metricist movement.

Lindsay is the Graham, as in the cracker, which explains itself.

Du miserabler HörrenSohne!

Florida has been in the bag for many years.
Was that the bag of dirt, or the bag of sand, or the bag of dicks? Or the bag I was keeping a cat in until someone let it out? {note: Do NOT try this with the bag of dicks]
I need a card. I can’t keep track of the players.

My prediction is she’s going to go for some of that sweet Wingnut Welfare – she’ll “write” a book, get a job at Fox News, and find some nice lobbyist job for Todd.

Holy god but she’s got a great shot at an evangelical TV show. If she’s too stupid to realize, um, well, what I mean is…

I wish George Allen had made it to 2008, he would have won for sure had the Drive-Bys not done a hatchet job on him in ’06.

Allen/Palin would have been totally unstoppable.

I’ve had fun skiing the mountains to the SW of Salt Lake City, on the other hand.

Which resorts? I’m not much of a skier, myself, so I don’t know them really well – the bits I know are to the southeast (Brighton / Alta / Snowbird etc.)

I was born in Florida!

(Does that make me a player?)

ALLEN? PAHAHAHAHAHA…. oh, you were serious. Fuck your has-been, Klan-Lite martyr and your airheaded, lynch-mob leading baby grandmama.

They used to say the same thing about Ronald Reagan!

And that was 30 plus yrs. ago. Things have changed a bit.

Now, the party is divided into those from Fly-Over Country who don’t think there are enough mouth-breathing, hate-filled, angry, uneducated people like them (You know, the Real Americans.) on television & in the newspapers they look at while herded in line, waiting to purchase their killer AmeriKKKan diet, and the nasty rich or educated who have an agenda beyond “don’t want no change.”

“You’re laughing at Palin just like libs laughed at The Gipper in 1980–but come election night they weren’t laughing anymore!”

But…we WERE laughing this past election night. Long, hard, laughs at that dipshit, And then we got to hear what she had to say before McCain spoke… (crickets). That was cool, too.

I never thought I’d have anything nice to say about Ronald Reagan, but given the drop in quality of the latest bunch of Republicans, I’m kind of nostalgic for him.

See, Reagan was a party establishment guy, even though he was so far to the right that the ones laughing at him were usually members of his own party, rather than the liberals. But after he screwed his own union and got co-opted to GE, he served his party and his corporate master well, all the way through, and he acted according to the proper party code. That’s why when they ran out of all the other candidates, they threw their weight behind him, finally.

Palin, OTOH, isn’t a party playah. She’s a narcissistic grifter who burns bridges on her on side of the aisle as much as on the other side. Do you think John McCain would spit on her if she were on fire?

The Republican Governors got a taste of her earlier this fall, when she tried to hog the spotlight at their national meeting. Her own Congressional delegation is pissed at her. No it’s not “mavericky” – because it’s not about any kind of principle, it’s all about getting her name in the paper and her face on the TeeVee.

She’s going to wear out her welcome with the party king-makers, and the only ones who will still support her are the wankers. Which is why she will find it more lucrative to work for Fox News and “write” her book for Regnery Press, than continue on in public service.

Didn’t Allen/Palin sing “Hello Mudda/Hello Fodda”?

Palin’s going to have to decide whether to run for Alaska governator in 2010, which should be fun either way.

At least Reagan was enough of a pro to be able to learn his lines, & internalize the concepts, unlike Palin.

She’ll probably sit in Alaska & keep them in suspense until quite close to the primary, then run off to the big city w/ her clothing budget & book deal, & that FOX gig.

After all, Ann Coulter isn’t getting any younger, is she?

…and George Washington turned on the bathroom light. Written in red lipstick on the mirror were these chilling words “Welcome to the world of wooden teeth!”

“Welcome to the world of wooden teeth!”

IIRC, this was one of the least popular exhibits at the 1964 World’s Fair.

And after all was said and done, Reagan was still a simpering TV mediocrity who people named airports after to try and push a flat tax – and no amount of gibber could undo four terms of FDR.

The funniest thing about the righties, to me, has always been what an easy lay they are, you know? Someone who thinks a man who is both governor of America’s Wang and a fucking Bush is gonna make anyone tremble can’t afford to have standards. You imagine him getting into fights with the rough, broken men of the underpasses over who was paying the $5 for a blowjob. Not a pretty picture, but then we’re not a pretty country any more.

The Republican Governors got a taste of her earlier this fall, when she tried to hog the spotlight at their national meeting. Her own Congressional delegation is pissed at her. No it’s not “mavericky” – because it’s not about any kind of principle, it’s all about getting her name in the paper and her face on the TeeVee.

But, but, but Rush says she makes liberals mad! Fnar-har, libs!

RUSH: What was the refrain all weekend long? “Obama won. Obama won.” This so-called stimulus bill, of course, has little to do with stimulating the economy and everything to do with stimulating the Obama presidency. What did this thing cost, $789 billion that’s projected to run out to over three trillion? Doesn’t matter what it cost, could have cost two trillion, could have cost five trillion, even ten trillion, the cost would have made no difference. The story line was not about cost, the story line was not about results. It was about President Obama’s first test, would he get his way, how many Republicans would support him? Analysis of the contents, forget it. Synthesis of the comments, forget it, no way. And it gets even worse. Nobody read it before they voted for it, not one Senator, not one representative, not one journalist, no one read it before they voted for it. The very people who said the housing crisis was because borrowers didn’t read their mortgage terms, “What do you mean, you don’t understand ARM? What is it about ARM you didn’t understand?” “Well, you never pointed out to me that it was in the mortgage.” “Well, we did tell you about it, we told you to read it, adjustable rate mortgage. Means the rate could adjust.” “Well, nobody ever told me that. You’re just a predatory lending bunch, that’s all.”

The same people, very people who said the housing crisis was because borrowers didn’t read their mortgage terms now tell us they didn’t read the Porkulus bill before they voted for it. By the way, Rasmussen with a survey out, 38% of the people support the Porkulus bill. The polling on this is so all over the ballpark, 38%. I saw, before it was passed, something like 62 to 69% were for it. I don’t remember what poll. Now Rasmussen, 38% say it will work. That means 58% don’t think it will. There are some undecideds in there. These people even came up with the phrase “predatory lenders,” but I’ll tell you the more accurate term is “predatory spenders.” Predatory spenders. I was watching MSNBC just a moment ago and they had a discussion on the following topic: Can Obama save your home? Wait ’til you hear the sound bites coming up on this. There’s already friction between the White House and the Banking Queen, Barney Frank, over the amount of money that’s going to be spent to help people pay their mortgages. The administration is saying, “Well, wait a minute, now, some of the restrictions that came out of this bill, we’re going to have to change those after the fact,” and Barney Frank said, “Over my dead body you’re gonna change this stuff.” Those sound bites are coming up. Sit tight. Hang tough.

Lots of stuff to do today, folks. It’s an amazingly active news day, despite the fact the president’s on the third day of a vacation. This guy’s taken more vacations than I have. By the way, you know it’s gonna work. He went to Chicago for a Valentine’s Day date and dinner at Table Fifty-Two, some big restaurant, with his wife. It means that Michelle Obama calls the shots here. That’s the one thing it means. We know she gets angry, we know she gets enraged, she called the shots here. He had to go home no matter what was going on. The stimulus bill still hadn’t been signed. It was going to be a catastrophe. What day did it pass? Friday, right? Government was going to end on Saturday, remember? And Pelosi had to get to Rome by Friday night. It was going to be a catastrophe, had to be signed, had to be done, still hasn’t been signed, and Obama is headed back to Washington today from Chicago, then he’s flying to Denver tomorrow. I’d just think he’d stay in Chicago and go to Denver from there and save a lot of fuel and save a lot of carbon footprints. He’s flying back to Washington. He’s going to fly to Denver, sign the stimulus bill in Denver. He’s going to head to Phoenix and save people’s homes. It’s a beautiful thing, folks. It’s just absolutely wonderful.
They’re arguing over $50 billion or $100 billion to pay your mortgage. Well, not yours. You’re probably paying yours. You don’t count, you don’t qualify. You can’t sue members of Congress, but a dereliction of duty lawsuit would be cool. Every congressman has to swear under oath that he did or did not read the bill before voting for it. I mean we are talking trillions of dollars here and a total reordering of the American culture, politically and socially. Trillion dollars. You know, during the Roaring Twenties, I wasn’t alive then, but I know a lot of people who were, and during the Roaring Twenties there was a notorious nightclub hostess called Texas Guinan, and when people showed up at a nightclub that she hosted she greeted them by saying, “Hello, suckers.” Well, let me update it to “Hello, suckers.” We were told that we were so near economic collapse, Congress had to approve the bill before they read it, Friday, or there might not even be a Saturday, Congress passed it on Friday, Obama signed it Friday night? No. Did he save the economy from collapse on Saturday? No. We’re talking collapse here for heaven’s sake! Did he sign it on Sunday and save America on Sunday? No. How about today? President, no.

Do you realize presidents can sign bills anywhere at any time? It’s not as though the bill has to be FedExed to Denver and there might be weather delays from over the weekend. We’re talking collapse here; we’re talking catastrophe, and the bill’s still not signed. You see, “crisis” and “collapse” were words, just words. The stimulus scheme that had to be voted on Friday will not be signed until tomorrow, so, “Hello, suckers.” (laughing) Even after the passage the story line remains: “Obama won, the Republicans didn’t support him.” Nobody’s asking, did America win? Because the Drive-Bys are equating Obama’s success with America’s success. The reason nobody’s asking, did America win, is because they know the answer. America did not win. Americans will be paying the price for years, if not decades to come. In fact, ladies and gentlemen, from Reuters: “President Barack Obama’s aides warned Americans on Sunday not to expect instant miracles from the stimulus bill that he will sign tomorrow.” They said it will help eventually. By the way, Obama has said that things are going to get worse even after he has signed this.

He said even if he gets the bill, which he’s going to sign Tuesday, that it’s going to get worse. “There will be signs of activity very quickly,” David Axelrod said on Fox News Sunday, “but it’s going to take time for that to show up in the statistics. The president said it’s likely to get worse before it gets better.” White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, the brightest and most intelligent, most articulate, best press spokesman in the history of the White House, used similar language on Slay the Nation on CBS. “I don’t think there’s any doubt that we’ve seen this economy has gotten worse just in the last few months.” Yeah, Dow Jones down 2,000 points since your guy was elected, Bob. The acceleration in job loss probably means this economy is going to get worse before it gets better. I think I’ve got the explanation for all of this. A little known story out there, the UK Daily Mail, I found it: “Alien Life May Be All Around Us (Or Even In Us), Says Professor.” This explains it all. Do you remember the movie Men in Black? In fact, one of the things I regret most — nah, don’t regret it most, but I do regret this. The producers of that movie called the office and said, “Could we use five seconds of videotape from you on TV monitors showing you as one of the aliens that have come from outer space?” They used Newt, and they had Clinton up there, and for some reason, I don’t remember why, we said no.
So this guy is saying essentially that’s what’s happened, there are billions of earths in our galaxy, meaning billions of places life could exist similar to us, or entirely different. This scientist, this professor, a cosmologist, Paul Davies, “said it was ‘entirely reasonable’ to believe that we share the planet with a form of life different to anything we know of. This ‘life, but not as we know it’ might be lurking in poisonous lakes or deep under the sea or could even be inside our bodies. Professor Davies said: ‘It could be right under our noses, or even in our noses. It could even be that “weird life” and real life are intermingled.'” If you think an alien is in your nose, try Zicam. (laughing) If it stops the common cold, it’ll kill an alien lurking in your nose. This is a dead serious story. “Calling on scientists to launch a ‘mission to Earth’, he said it was possible that life had evolved more than once, meaning we are not alone on our planet.”

A letter to the editor of the Reading Eagle newspaper, headline: “‘Limbaugh Likened to Cult Leaders.’ Dear editor: There was a time when Rush Limbaugh was interesting and informative, and I got some good information and different views to think about in the news. Those days are gone. I compare Limbaugh of today to some of the cult leaders in our society: Jim Jones, David Koresh and Warren Jeffs. Limbaugh is acting like an absolute ruler who used manipulative methods to control the minds of their followers.” Man, if that were only true. That has been my objective, by the way. This woman is Susan Miller. Susan, you’re on to something here. I have sought absolute ruler status. I’m not retiring ’til every American agrees with me. That would be absolute power, and I’m still on track for that, but if it were true, Susan, Obama would never have been elected, much less nominated because, of course, I ran Operation Chaos in order to create chaos and prolong the Democrat primary system. Ms. Miller continues in the letter, “The information he spewed has great power and influence on the minds of those who are unable to think for themselves.”

I don’t know if she’s talking about me or Obama. I think she’s given an accurate description of your typical Obama voter, those who are unable to think for themselves. “I am a registered Republican, but I’m sick and tired of listening to his ranting and raving about the new president. He stoops pretty low many times and thinks nothing of insulting people, calling them pet names and making fun of people — tactics of the classroom bully.” Yes, this is so true, Susan, that the entire federal government is gearing up to put me out of business. Henry Waxman is looking into it now, Mr. Snerdley, and as I have predicted, they’re going to go about this at the FCC, and they’re going to go about this with regulatory restrictions on local ownership, station ownership, programming, not gonna call it the Fairness Doctrine. So you got Clinton, you got Hinchey, every day there’s somebody new weighing in on it. Harkin, and now Gibbs, or maybe it was Axelrod, one of the two in the Obama administration, was asked about this recently, they backed off. Obama previously said, “I’m not interested in the Fairness Doctrine.” They backed off of that now, because Ed Morrissey over at HotAir.com, said, “You know, every Obama statement has an expiration date.” That’s a great line.

Rush’s butt hurts?

News clip at 11.

It’s rather revealing how so many conservative talking points revolve not around policy or solutions, but just imaginarily making the opposition “mad”. They honestly couldn’t care less about the country or its future, they just want to score fantasy “gotcha” points against the boogeymen they’ve set up in their own minds. It would be sad and pitiable if it weren’t so utterly destructive.

Not an original point, I’ll admit, but still, their simmering jealosy is something to behold.

Long verbatim copied posts of noisome crap would be perfectly OK & alright to remove.

Yes, we already know Rush Limbaugh is impotent. Next!

Yes, we already know Rush Limbaugh is impotent. Next!

Impotent? Hardly! He won the last two elections for the Democrats almost single-handedly.

Oh, you meant his boner doesn’t work. That is in fact common knowledge. Sorry.

Another schmuck with a jaunty moustache.

Another schmuck with a jaunty moustache.
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/02/is_allen_stanford_the_21st_centurys_jay_gatsby.php

(Word press is fucked so can’t html the link)

Rush says she makes liberals mad!

Apparently, in Wingnut World, this is the highest qualification for holding national office.

Ah, well, there we have Rush, talking about the thing that’s most important to him. Himself.

As we knew, Stanford calls himself “Sir” Allen Stanford, on account of a knighthood he was awarded by the former prime minister of Antigua, where his business is based. But it looks like maybe that wasn’t quite good enough for Stanford, since until recently he was claiming, falsely, that the knighthood was presented by the British Royal family.

Ah, yes — those salt-of-the-earth, real heartland American Texans. How they love democracy and hate elitists.

“Welcome to the world of wooden teeth!”
Just as well that Westworld and Futureworld never became a trilogy.

Good work, comrades – now, onward! Time for us to draft the Mandatory Vasectomy Act of 2010! Soon Father’s Day will be but a pile of ashes! Muahahahahahah!

Bit of a dull one here – hard not to be when the subject is yanking on the flaccid pudding of his prefab fauxtrage … but the comedic value of a troll who still thinks of the likes of Bobby Jindal, Jeb Bush or Sarah Palin as assets to the GOP – & is out of it enough to think that Newt isn’t still a kingpin within its party elite – saves the day. Gotta love that infantile dedication to the Fuhrerprinzip, even after their most recent demigod turned out to have feet of Velveeta. Yeah, go right ahead & slap a Rolls-Royce hood-ornament on your Pinto – let us know how that works out for you.

Problem now being that pretty well ALL the potential Gooper noms for 2012 just finished explicitly telling America to eat shit & die, live on TeeVee, right when it’s hurting for help the most. Proudly comparing themselves to the fucking TALIBAN may not be a big hit with the Nascar-set either, come to think of it. Optics-wise, that’s about as swift as trying to sell America some barbaric & nakedly fascistic activity like, say, torture … gosh, I wonder if any of those noms would’ve been stupid enough to go along with an insane idea like THAT … RUH-roh!

Time for us to draft the Mandatory Vasectomy Act of 2010!

All power to The Golden Snip!

Hey, a Washington Post reviewer gives it 5 whines up!

The Tire Swing is strong in him.

their most recent demigod turned out to have feet of Velveeta.

nice turn of phrase.

Time for us to draft the Mandatory Vasectomy Act of 2010!

All power to The Golden Snip!

Problem now being that pretty well ALL the potential Gooper noms for 2012 just finished explicitly telling America to eat shit & die, live on TeeVee, right when it’s hurting for help the most. Proudly comparing themselves to the fucking TALIBAN may not be a big hit with the Nascar-set either, come to think of it. Optics-wise, that’s about as swift as trying to sell America some barbaric & nakedly fascistic activity like, say, torture … gosh, I wonder if any of those noms would’ve been stupid enough to go along with an insane idea like THAT … RUH-roh!

My brother likes to tell a story about being one of the two campeóns in his social studies class this year in an informal scheduled debate about the election after the primaries had ended. (Smart kid – everyone expects him to be a dumb jock, for some reason, but real smart kid – a lot like what libertarians’d be if they weren’t failed Republicans.) He still laughs about it – the other guy came in in an ROTC uniform and basically spent the whole time maundering aimlessly about terrorism. The discussion wound up being primarily about how much personal safety and liberty the public has been asked to sacrifice for the war – something that really encouraged me, because when I was in the same class just three years before the terms of the debate were basically managerial.

gah!

That is all.

Whoops: re. the Golden Snip, wanted to mention that the main problem has always been with our attitude towards women. The idea of a woman actually having the power to control her own sex and parenting life the way a man does is repellant to the righties, largely because they’ve been brought up in a relentlessly patriarchial society – not one ruled by their fathers but ruled by Daddy, a sort of amorphous man-figure who we all have to aspire to be and who some people are born with the wrong chromosomes to do anything but obey.

Really, the octuplet case is a perfect example. The only time anyone will say the shit that gets said about her about a single father is if he’s also one of those nasty coloreds with anti-American values; she’s nuts, but so is trying to issue orders directly to her vagina.

Daddy, a sort of amorphous man-figure

Oh, so you know my father?

who we all have to aspire to be

Uh-uh, no way. See above.

Oh, so you know my father?

That’s what he said.

Yeah, that’s right, your grandpa too.

So’s your old man.

she’s nuts, but so is trying to issue orders directly to her vagina.

I couldn’t agree more. It weirds me out quite a lot, the control fRighties want to have over Teh Hoo-Ha.

Rightard men are also not really into vasectomies, I imagine, because it means having their weenie cut on. I had my snip done by a female doctor, so take that, cheeto-munchers!

My sex life has been pretty vanilla so even the scalpel-free snip was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to my ‘nads. That I know about.

I’m still bustin’ a gut at the Big Hollywood wingnuts’ heads asplodin’ as they try to watch 24 while grinding their teeth over the fact that Janeane Garofolo’s guest starring.

The commenter who bravely admits to thinking she’s hawt, but hates himself for it… comedy gold.

Ah, good old Reagan. His body should have been shot out into space, so none of the molecules in it would pollute this world any further.

I love the story of the octomom ( and, IMHO, the story is all that more long-lived because of that great word, “octomom”) because I love to see how the wingnuts are tying themselves in knots, upset that she had the babies but unable to say that they think she should have aborted them. Plus, they are all too afraid to speculate about her ethnicity, which, given her name Suleyman, may be not only a brown person but possibly Middle-Eastern (aka Islamomomist!)

Plus, how different is the Octomom from the Duggar family, having multiple children and asking for other Christians to support them? Note to Michelle Duggar – look, you had 14 kids the hard way.You’re such a loser! Nadya Suleyman did it so much easier!

Yes, Octograndfather is from Iraq. (Getting revenge one way or the other, we suppose.)

Ah, well, there we have Rush, talking about the thing that’s most important to him. Himself.

and there’s so much about himself to talk about. He can literally fill a room.

Daddy, a sort of amorphous man-figure

I read that as “a sort of amphibious man-figure.”

Prince Namor is my father!!!

I love the story of the octomom

And my mother is the octomom! With eight arms to hold me!!!

“Ah, well, there we have Rush, talking about the thing that’s most important to him. Himself.”

and there’s so much about himself to talk about. He can literally fill a room.

Wow. Big fat idiot doesn’t even begin to do him justice.

“Welcome to the world of wooden teeth!”
Thanks to you people, I now have Madness running through my head:

Eating with the Teeth of Wood
Now I’ve come of age
Eating with the Teeth of Wood
Welcome to the lion’s den
Temptation’s on his way
Eating with the Teeth of Wood

Then there was that that “People Who Once Had Wooden Teeth But Now Reject Wooden Teeth As Tools Of Satan’ splinter group.

Ouch.

Whittle you people think of next?

Damn it, that’s another of our liberal, America-hating, wars-on-a-holiday foiled! I sure hope no one at Red State realizes Arbor Day is really called Christmas Tree Day.

This punfest is quietly being logged.

Woodn’t you know it?

I saw these puns; there’s only a thin veneer of humor.

Seriously. I wish they’d all varnish.

Awl your puns are belong to us

“First, they said “Happy Holidays” to the shopkeepers, but I wasn’t a shopkeeper, so I said nothing.
Then they said “Happy Holidays” to the restaurant owners, but I wasn’t a restaurant owner, so I said nothing.
And finally they said “Happy Holidays” to me, and there was no one left to scream “Merry Christmas” at the top of their voice to me.” – El Cid

Oh, will the war on Yule, the pagan celebration of the great Sun God Mithras’s birthday never end?!

I’d axe you guys to cut it out, but I saw that you intend to continue no matter what happens. Fortunately, we can just branch away and leave this thread.

Gamecock better not refer to the “Birthday of Martin Luther King Jr.” as “Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday”. People might get confused.

Gamecock has a new post in which he does battle with the English language and loses.

Part of the reason is that the drive-by media shields their community

Hmm, first glance and a winner already.

So now Obama’s church was giving Louis Farrakhan a 20-year standing ovation. How will this meme mutate next? I think something along the lines of a Black Panther-NOI whitey rape orgy while Barack whooped and cheered.

“Drive-by” is the new ‘thug thizzle’. It’s never too early to introduce the ghetto imagery.

In neighboring rhetorical breaths he asserts that racism is a thing of the past, and refers to “the sub-set of black pathologies.”

Gamecock brings more crazy.

Sample:

This majority white nation…made Sanford & Son, Cosby and Oprah its most prominent cultural icons in the 70s-2000s…

(h/t J–)

Dammit.

That time passed over twenty years ago, with the election of Barack Obama as the first black President being the result of the proof of the passing of the need, not the cause.

There’s a…hole in the election of Barack Obama as the first black President being the result of the proof of the passing of the need, not the cause in the bottom of the sea
There’s a hole in the election of Barack Obama as the first black President being the result of the proof of the passing of the need, not the cause in the bottom of the sea
There’s a hole, there’s a hole
There’s a hole in the election of Barack Obama as the first black President being the result of the proof of the passing of the need, not the cause in the bottom of the sea

Blacks became the 13th most prosperous group on earth from 1865-1965 despite Jim Crow.

My favorite sentence. This guy’s hard to pay roady.

13th out of 11. Details, details.

Seriously, though, that guy’s writing is barely coherent. “This majority white nation Congress”? “from the man whose first sermon he heard inspired his first autobiography”? ZOUNDS. I tell a lie, it’s not coherent.

“Slavery on the path to destruction?” No that was our British cousins and their Anti-slavery squadron. We in fact instituted abolition for THEM*, not because we’re such tots awesome people.

*gross oversimplification

Yeah, Charlotte sure is racist.

Mecklenburg County:

Obama 252,642 62%
McCain 152,957 38%

I know Mike, he’s not a racist. I had him on my BTR show, and I made a snap judgment about him just from hearing his accent, which is thick as all hell.

I get that your blog, which I like, is all about snark overkill, but you’re off base here. Also, his use of the apocryphal cherry tree is a forgivable bit of license.

Agree with him or not, he’s arguing in good faith.

I didn’t say he was a racist, just an idiot And most stupid arguments by people like Gamecock are made in good faith because they’re simply not smart enough to understand the flaws in their own arguments.