Hi, Bengal kittens.
“Hi! Are you the Editors?”
No, kittens, I’m afraid not. The Editors is riding bikes on his ranch, and we’re not even allowed to deliver milk and Friskies without authorization.
“Oh, phooey!”
I know, Siamese kittens. It truly is a…
“Justin Darr blows and is stinky and funny-looking, and…”
Oh, Maine coon and Abyssinian kittens — that’s such a good try, but we truly can’t adopt you. It wouldn’t be right. You’ll have to wait a little longer.
Now stop it, little orange cat, that’s not even funny to joke about.
Oh my. This has certainly become a conundrum. Brad, do we have any spots open for trainee evil death kitty hordelings?
[Update: No he did not! That time stamp below is German Sixhoursaheadofeasternstandardtime. He was just sitting around until a couple hours after we… Never mind: This is totally Do the Time Warp Day. Excuse us while we do a jump to the left.]
We just need the Editors to get his ass back, soon. Otherwise those cute kitties will be eaten by our own feline hellbeasts.
But that wouldn’t be very nice! Oh dear.
OK. Where in the hell is the stash of kittens with handguns? Is there some NRA fetish mag featuring pussies and glocks? This is entering the stratosphere of ridiculitude.
It’s okay, Orange Cat. I think that’s kind of funny to joke about.
“No, kittens, I’m afraid not”
Re-branding, are we? Oh, I’m telling Seb…I’m going to tell so bad.
Brad, do we have any spots open for trainee evil death kitty hordelings?
If you don’t I do! I’ll take all the trainee evil death kitty hordelings! The whole pile even!
Are we preparing for another round of kitty wars?
If so, I’ll get right on it, well sometime next tuesday.
What’s wrong with letting a pussy defend itself — by any means necessary? Y’aren’t Catholic, are ya?
Maybe you should consider opening up Kitten Death Squad Training camps.
He’s back, but there’s a dearth of kittens.
Well… given our primary Death Kitten indoctrination center was Al-Seb Center of Sadly, No!-ism on the Florida panhandle, it’s not surprising that our Death Kitten training capacity has been severely dampened by the dearth of hurricanes this spring.
We must get that new center in Britsh Columbia open so that we can grow our evil organization of kittens.
I’ll get on fundraising…
Spring… er… I mean summer- which, after all, is like spring, but with more hurricanes.
Crooky al-Shanks, the bulky (not fat, just big-boned) mastermind of the Kitten Death Squads Training Camp in the woods behind our house, is busily hatching new plots for the feline cells of destruction global that will spread throughout the world. At this moment he is mull(ah)ing over his options. (He mulls about 22-23 hours a day.) Beware!
Soggy death kittens are the angriest kind.
…is busily hatching new plots for the feline cells of destruction global that will spread throughout the world
That’s the most impressively long euphemisim for “taking a dump” I’ve yet seen.