Bongfire Of The Hannities
As the story of the angry dead wingnut with the dirty bomb sits around practically untouched by anyone (although noted: Dan Riehl of all people took an interest in it, gaining him the satisfaction of having us be all “noted: Dan Riehl“), we keep finding ourselves distracted by the gathering storm of steel-hard vengeance that is rising to scour the traitor scum from the hallowed something of America, perhaps tiles or tub surfaces, with brutal valor and some kind of more-in-sadness-than-in-anger thing, as its iron boot crushes the very existence of the liberal hyaenas who laugh and gloat and point mockingly in their false victory of socialist doom sabotage.
Because oh, it’s gathering, this storm. Last time, we checked in with our old pal Confederate Yankee, who’s apparently slipping inch by inch toward full kindergarten-massacre disapproval of the settling Obama darkness. Today — well, what can we say in favor of Sean Hannity’s pal Hal Turner1 that hasn’t already been said against him?
After we kill them; what to do?
February 14, 2009After we kill the people who have wrecked this country — yes, you KNOW who I’m talking about — what are we going to do as a nation to move forward?
I don’t actually know who decided that computers in television and cinema ought to go “deedle-eedle-eet” every time the keyboard is used or something happens on the screen — nor why anyone might have decided that they should not go “deedle-eedle-eet” or make any other sound (e.g. triumphal booping in synchrony with a flashing message such as “DNA MATCH FOUND”; an insistent chittering accompanying a rotating 3D wireframe object that has been ‘zoomed in’ from a newspaper photo, etc. and so forth) at any time in which the computer screen is not visible to the camera.
The fact that this is endemic to computers of desktop size and larger, and not to laptops or hand-held computing devices, is something that we will have to ask them to explain before we kill them.
There are lots of very very serious things to consider. What to do with the people who are presently living solely on social security? What to do with people who depend solely on medicare? What about the infirm, the retarded, the disabled?
I have also observed cell phones depicted normally when used to place or receive phone calls, whereas when used to trigger remote actions or to receive “data” or “codes,” they go “deedle-eedle-eet.” This has convinced me that the sound — it is always the same sound — represents an imaginary torrent of ones and zeros, in contrast to the means used to transmit voice signals, which is a torrent of invisible letters.
Oh, the infirm and so on. After we kill the Social Security leeches and Medicare parasites and allow the infirm to stand on their own two legs or die like supine animals, and after we cleanse ourselves of the blood-shame of the retarded and so forth, then what? Because how about we feed it all to the filthy illegals?
Except that would interfere with the free and private dog or pig food market HAR HAR. And no, do you know what would really stick it to the liberals? Burning them up in a big, smoky fire so they turn to carbon in the air. Haw haw!
Or no, gibbets. Gibbets on the public roads would serve as a stern example to the traitors and saboteurs in our midst, with their schemes and plots and the way they engineer poor harvests and manipulate gold prices and Powerball numbers and hide three-prong adapters and the Phillips-head screwdriver to make you think you’re going crazy, and put disgusting homosexual pornography on your computer in a folder marked hot carribbean moresomes: reggae cumsplash 2 “traitors and saboteurs to definitely kill.” And the bottle opener; they put it places.
What to do about the debts incurred by the people we got rid of? Repudiate them? That causes wars.
And whoah, let’s not go around the bend here. Besides we have, um, a trick, um, knee, so we can’t actually do war-war, but just the kind where people don’t get all shooty or run around too much. Luckily liberals are super dumb BLAR-HAR-HAR!! They whine it’s unfair and discrimination and boom you shoot them in they’re fucken face.
Um, no, but seriously: slave labor camps until debts are paid, then some kind of system for mass killing? There’s probably an electric conveyor belt or a poison gas that would be good for this. Test ahead of time on cripples and retards?
As you might imagine, these are serious issues not to be left to haphazard guesswork after the fact.
I want to form serious working groups; think tanks, to seriously consider these matters.
Your ideas are intriguing to us and we would like to subscribe to your newsletter!
We should make sure to give them normal-sounding names so that no one suspects too soon that we’re getting ready to brutally eradicate the liberal bacillus. But if someone really wants to join a group to help out, they ought to be able to find one by decoding the name, wouldn’t you think? It’s like when The Order tested Earl Turner before they let him join their secret Nazi Hitler club.
“Rachael’s Professional Filing Services; put Rachael Pro Filing to work for curb-stomp the ACLU criminals, I mean ‘your business.'”
“Yes, this is the Radical White Ring surf shop. Yes, we carry Dr. Zog’s Sex Wax, spelled Z-O-G, carry it everywhere [heh heh], at least until until the Silent Majority rises up in a valiant berserker fury. …Hello? No, he hung up. Sounded like a Hawaiian or something; what’s a Hawaiian doing here in Tulsa?”
“Stack, Berry & Burnham, how may I help you?”
“Hello, Progressive Exterminators. …Uh, yes, we may have Al Gore in a can…”
Getting rid of the scumbags who wrecked the country is the easy part. We can take them out in under an hour. The REAL hard part is what to do once we’ve gotten rid of them?
Yeah, wait, it’s like we’ve just been talking about that, but you haven’t been listening.
This is going to require considerable analysis and forethought. The solutions they came up with over the past 50 years have literally bankrupted the nation. We can’t go back down that road so what do we do in the immediate aftermath and then what do we do for the long term?
Uh, gee, why don’t we form a committee to think up rhetorical questions? With a subcommittee in charge of inelegant metaphorical transitions? Like, they could meet right off the bat, and then further down the road they could put their heads together? Uh, der, how many questions is that already? Can we take a break yet, or is there — wait… [ahem] Hello, DeCamp’s Giant Mound of Shoes and Eyeglasses, Al Schwitz speaking…
Um, [heh heh] an egg roll and an order of So Fun Wen Yu Dai? Uh, I would not say that someone here did not order such a thing…
Your serious thoughts are urgently needed.
Oh, those ones cost more.
I suspect the killing will have to begin very soon; likely within a couple months.
For those of you totally perplexed by who it is that has to go and why, read this article from WorldNetDaily that demonstrates the obligations of the feds now exceed the GDP of the entire WORLD!
Oh, World Net Daily. So this argument is grounded in fact.
Any of you foolish enough to think this can be resolved in any manner other than bloodshed are delusional.
That’s where he’s wrong. We totally think this can be resolved by
Any of you foolish enough to think this can be resolved in any manner other than bloodshed are delusional.
whoah man déjà vu; that’s usually a glitch in the Matrix.
Story Here
Posted by HalTurnerShow.com at 2/14/2009 12:15:00 AM 37 comments
Oh, Jerome Corsi. This won’t rapidly unravel.
MONEYNETDAILY
Federal obligations exceed world GDP
Does $65.5 trillion terrify anyone yet?
By Jerome R. CorsiAs the Obama administration pushes through Congress its $800 billion deficit-spending economic stimulus plan, the American public is largely unaware that the true deficit of the federal government already is measured in trillions of dollars, and in fact its $65.5 trillion in total obligations exceeds the gross domestic product of the world.
The total U.S. obligations, including Social Security and Medicare benefits to be paid in the future, effectively have placed the U.S. government in bankruptcy, even before new continuing social welfare obligation embedded in the massive spending plan are taken into account.
Um, right. Aside from the well-established and extremely not startling distinction between budgetary numbers derived from cash accounting and those derived from accrual accounting, the first thing is that ‘total-obligations’ isn’t a static, all-at-once sum of money, but instead represents outlays over a long period of time. I think the Social Security timetable stretches for 75 years here, although correct me if I’m mistaken. Also, the best number for 2008 world GPD is $70.65 trillion. Even if you let the zany comparison stand (the average American eats 60 hot dogs per year — that’s way more than the average Frenchman can eat in a sitting, duh, boing), it’s to be noted that $65.5 trillion is not in fact larger than $70.65 trillion.
Also, the $65.5 trillion figure is significantly larger than the actual official one, which is $52.7 trillion. Next, approximately a whole $34 trillion of the total is from Medicare and Medicaid — which unless I’m on freaking crack leaves only about $18.7 trillion of non-healthcare obligations over time, including Social Security. So apparently, again unless I’m on crack, what we’re actually talking about here is a great need and urgency for health care reform.
But whatever. What Corsi doesn’t realize is that we’ve just fixed the budget problem, just sitting here like this at the computer. Because look, if you take only fifty years of projected revenue and add that number to this year’s budget, then even by conservative estimates we’re in the black by about $150 trillion.
No, you can totally do that; it’s called smashing the weakling scum-traitors with the jagged iron rage of America.
1 Meanwhile, back in the jungle….
Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these…
Hell, if I didn’t quote it, tigrismus probably would…
It’s almost refreshing when one of these nutjobs drops all pretense of civility and lets us know what we’re really dealing with.
TURD!!!
Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk…
I think someone should just take this city and just… just flush it down the fuckin’ toilet…
All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take ’em to Harlem. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me…
Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up…
Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me.
Murder populism , the new frontier .
Does he suggest maybe some ovens?
What benefit a man if he asks a rhetorical question, but the voices in his head just laugh and laugh and refuse to answer? How many rhetorical questions can dance on the head of a pin, anyway?
Do neural synapses make a sound when they suddenly come undone, as the dendrites’ constituent microtubules unravel into thousands of actin and tubulin monomers and spiral slowly away into the glial interstices?
Where the fuck is that Phillips head screwdriver!?
Well, apart from the murderous stupidity, it’s nice to see a nutbag take an approach to these questions other than “leave them to starve”.
Of course, we know that that will be their ultimate answer, because anything else requires, you know, hard work and compassion and stuff. But it’s nice to believe, at least for a moment, that there’s some reflection going on.
How many rhetorical questions can dance on the head of a pin
Ah, it was angels on the head of a pin, was it? Bugger — I thought it was the other way around.
Sorry, Mr Angel. We’ll have those pins out in no time.
An hour to kill all the liberal traitors? Hmmmm…assuming every Obama voter is on the death list, that makes 69,456,897 people to kill. With 3600 seconds in an hour, that’s 19 293 people killed per second. Assuming that the loyal Brownshirts are 50% cowardly mama’s boys who will squinch up their faces, look away and fire wild, and that the other 50% are semi-functioning sexual psychotics who are likely to pause after each murder to masturbate furiously….I call shenanigans.
Do neural synapses make a sound when they suddenly come undone […]?
There is no-one occupying the Cartesian theatre to hear it.
I think life would be much better with all the movie sound effects. The cheery “deedle-eedle eet” when a computer does something; the inexplicable high-pitched whine made by the sun when viewed from a desert; the awe-inspiring but physically impossible “whummmmmmmmm” of large objects moving through outer space…
Bet ya think you’re being tough don’t ya, Hal?
BOOO!
OK, so it’s been a while since I was trolling the Stormfront dating site, but…sheeeet. That comments section has me scared on so many levels. And not for myself, or for American civilization (such as it is.)
Some folks need fucking help bad. This is beyond humorous.
I laugh, but nervously. Reading his comments, you can see a couple of spree killings waiting to happen.
Why can’t they just be suicidal like most death cults? Why they gotta be homicidal?
You know it’s bad when the parody troll there sounds more moderate than the rest of the commenters.
I’m not even kidding:
Vs.
They say a lot of things…
Well, now, there’s a certain synchronicity to our respective posts, eh?
I’ll be able to tell my grandchildren that I was there to witness the birth of Dada politics, right here at S,N!
Fuck, it’s late (early), but I have another five hours before I can sleep 🙁
Also, bongfire
Make of this what you will, but Hal Turner’s empire is located on an old pig farm in New Jersey. I kid you not. Oh, it’s been paved over and landscaped, but the stench is still there.
I just woke up. How come I full of pins?
I liked the nuts better when they stayed in the woodwork. Judging from the recently deceased life-form in Maine, all they need is some rampant unchecked capitalism and… oh, shit.
Look, it’s Jeffie!
That the mainstream press — and even some members of the niche political press like certain writers for NRO — helped in the fleecing of the American electorate, is a shame I hope they never live down.
Of course, that assumes shame is something these wide-eyed ideologues can actually feel.
And I wouldn’t bet on that.
Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:23 pm
Hang on tightly to those pearls, Jeffie!
…we keep finding ourselves distracted by the gathering storm of steel-hard vengeance that is rising to scour the traitor scum from the hallowed something of America, perhaps tiles or tub surfaces…
I dunno…I think it’s more likely that they’ll be distracted by a gathering storm of Dow Scrubbing Bubbles.
You know, they work hard so you don’t have to. Practically the wingnut credo.
You’ll have to excuse him. He hasn’s slept since 1945.
They are distracted by the gathering storm of steel-hard vengeance? Wouldn’t that be their purpose? Sorta kinda what they focus on?
I dunno. Sometimes I think I’ll never grasp wingnut grammar.
And oh, the outrage by these people when someone suggested that a heart attack to Dick Cheney would be better for the US. No guns, just dispassionate analysis of health outcomes, and there was severe uproar in the panties.
Oh the political self-righteousness of these folks. It is greater that the self-righteousness of all the rest of the world combined!!
That wouldn’t be so cool. My life is one muted trumpet, “Wah wahhhhh”. Either that or the springy “Boing”, and I don’t want people knowing the event that accompanies either sound effect.
There’s an even-scarier post a couple days back:
Link
I’m pretty sure this guy should be in jail. That’s really blatant wink-wink-nudge-nudge inciting violence.
Well, we could use the genocide angle to get the far right on board with a national rail network.
-GSD
What to do about the debts incurred by the people we got rid of? Repudiate them? That causes wars.
What? War? We can’t have war after purging and killing 51% of our citizens!
The REAL hard part is what to do once we’ve gotten rid of them?
Then doesn’t it seem a little bit HASTY, to kill off half the country before you know what you’re going to do next?
A big part of the reason why those people publish addresses is the hope that someone will try and stop them from
abusingexercising their right of free speech and they can sue for damages.I think life would be much better with all the movie sound effects.
Does anyone remember the old ‘FBI’ TV show? With Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.? Every time one of their 4-door Ford sedans turned a corner, no matter what speed, you’d hear a squealing tire sound.
Yikes. Well, I live on the 2d and 3d floor of a two family house. So, when they come for me, I’ll gain some time because it won’t be easy for these morbidly obese psychotics to get up my stairs.
If you can’t say “fuck” on the radio, why are you allowed to get away with things like this? Is it legal to do this on our public airwaves?
Funny thing, when I read about someone referring to “the people who have wrecked this country”, a completely different population comes to mind. But I’m a civilized human being, so I don’t make loud noises about mass slaughter. Bringing back the stocks for the outgoing administration is definitely an attractive idea, however.
This is going to require considerable analysis and forethought. The solutions they came up with over the past 50 years have literally bankrupted the nation. We can’t go back down that road so what do we do in the immediate aftermath and then what do we do for the long term?
Gee, if only the Republicans had been in power, things would have been different! Damn that liberal stranglehold on government!
Then doesn’t it seem a little bit HASTY, to kill off half the country before you know what you’re going to do next?
Bush Doctrine.
I used to have my computer set to make all these sounds, and more, for all kinds of ordinary actions.
It would hiccup on the hour; when a disc was inserted, it moaned, and when the disc was ejected, it would barf….
It certainly livened up the open office. Totally would work in a thriller starring Jack Black though.
Getting rid of the scumbags who wrecked the country is the easy part. We can take them out in under an hour.
Start with the Unitarians, they’ll be easy.
This guy seriously needs to be in jail or a in straitjacket. Wow.
I fucking called this shit from day one, as soon as a Democrat got back into the white house it’ll be back to the fat militia fucknuts blowing up federal buildings instead of shooting at Mexicans. And here it comes. The next wave of terrorism will be white redneck dudes attacking the government, it’s just like the nineties, these obese fucks aren’t complicated people.
And who sent all that anthrax to Democrats in 2002? The stuff created in a US military lab? Gosh, dunno. RIGHTWINGERS??!
Okay, Mrs. Smiggleswort will take the minutes, and Joe could you get us each a cup of coffee? Who wants cream? Sugar?
Now give me just a second to get the Powerpoint up and running. Let’s see, “genocide,” ummm, say, can somebody help me get this thing started? Is the projector light burned out… I… no, there it is. Let me just center this on the screen… Oh, here’s Betty with the doughnuts.
Um.
Jesus fucking Christ.
This is why pot needs to be legalized.
Every time one of their 4-door Ford sedans turned a corner, no matter what speed, you’d hear a squealing tire sound.
And despite having wheezy, lethargic V8s mated to three-speed automatics, they sounded like Ferraris downshifting at LeMans.
Mr Wiggin, if that is your real name!!111!eleventy1!!!, that wasn’t the first work that came to my mind.
Just divide them into two groups and turn them against each other. Then they could be homicidal and suicidal.
The communists have taken my handkerchiefs! Again! I will be revenged!
Oh, crazy, vindictive wingnuts! Look who’s laughing it up with Obama on Air Force One.
This guy seriously needs to be in jail or a in straitjacket.
Or a gibbet.
So let me get this straight. When we said that these people were the American Taliban, engaging in Nazi propaganda tactics, supporters of terrorism, and dangerously close to believing that Dead Kennedy’s “Kill the Poor” was a proud anthem for their cause, we were called hysterical hyperbolic idiots.
But now that there’s a black democrat in power and their morally bankrupt ideas have demonstratedly failed, it’s ok for them to refer to themselves as the Taliban, openly call for eugenics style genocide, openly call for terrorist attacks against elected leaders, and call for the wholesale slaughter of the poor for “stealing their money”.
Okay, just wanted to check.
The sociopathic fantasy doesn’t hold up internally: If the premise is that Evil Liberal Traitors have taken over the country and that Valiant, Righteous Violence is necessary to reclaim it, then how do you handle the 82d Airborne? 101st Airborne? The Northcom brigade? The rest of the regular armed forces stationed in CONUS? Or the Reserves and National Guard? These are all controlled by the Evil Liberal Traitors.
I’ve posed five more hypothetical questions–of some practical importance–for the psychopaths to figure out. I would say those hypotheticals are substantially more significant that figuring out what to do after their Valiant, Righteous Violence.
…then how do you handle the 82d Airborne? 101st Airborne? The Northcom brigade? The rest of the regular armed forces stationed in CONUS? Or the Reserves and National Guard? These are all controlled by the Evil Liberal Traitors.
It is widely believed in the militia-nutjob sectors of wingnuttia that our brave military men and women – none of whom voted for Obama, of course, for how could they? – will refuse to obey his brutal commands. Viz.
You can always pick these guys out because there is inevitably some prattle about how they took an oath to the Constitution, blah blah enemies foreign AND DOMESTIC111!!!ONEMILLIONONEHUNDERDELEVENTHOUSANDONEHUNDREDELEVEN!! etc. that they heard in a movie somewhere, probably The Rock when Michael Biehn is delivering lines right before the bathroom massacre.
WOLVERINES!11!!
“I want to form serious working groups; think tanks, to seriously consider these matters.”
I know just the man to help them out. Oh wait, Herr Eichmann is unavaliable these days. I guess they’ll have to plan their own Wannsee Conference. Fortunately these pieces of shit are more stupid and more lazy than actual Nazis.
I think life would be much better with all the movie sound effects.
You get the feeling these guys have a fantasy of single-handedly taking out swarms of clumsy pajama-clad kung-fu movie bad guys using nothing but stiff-fingered hands and bare feet making that “whoosh” sound effect every time they move.
This gives me a warm, gooey feeling of bipartisanship. Guys like Hal Turner are people we can do business with.
Did you see that Muir is inviting us to transcribe hie comics into a searchable database? It would be a shame if someone went in the and Sady’d a bunch of his transcriptions…
Wiggin–Are you proposing to slaughter our tenants?
After clicking the Day By Day link, I think we have it all wrong. It’s Zen, you see. With willowy girls. It’s not “funny,” and it’s not “not funny.” It’s the cartoon equivalent of when the monk hits you on the head with a stick. That momentary blank between reading it and waiting for the laff–that’s the “meaning.” That’s when Muir plunges you into the eternal Now. The eternal, unfunny, time-wasting, both-pretentious-and-vacuous Now.
At least I think that’s it.
The evil liberal, represented by the Joker (and not the crazy-cool Heath Ledger Joker, but the Hapless DC Comics version) throws his arms up defenselessly, a look of disbelief, shock and pain on his wide-eyed face, as Turner, clad in dramatic Batman Regalia, complete with cape, captured in mid-shoosh, delivers a devastating right-cross to the Joker’s elongated jaw, accompanied by an audible (and visible!) “POW!” Take that, evil Lib!
In the comments 2b said: “i don’t see any problems so long as we return to the point in time where fraudulent and unlawful govt began, and do things right from there …”
Yes! A Time Machine solves everything! And it repeats a melodious, minor key tune with spiraling visual effects.
It is completely impossible for me to tell real comments from attempted parody in that thread.
From the comments on Turner:
More commenting hilarity:
deedle-eedle-eet, system of government problem..solved!
I think it’s sweet that Turner posted this killentine on Feb. 14.
Most interesting of all, these clowns imagine that they’ll bag their limit of liberals whenever they knuckle out of their cave, ’cause everybody knows that right wing folks are so handy with firearms.
Hey wingnuts: Dick Cheney called, wants to know if you’d like to go hunting with him this weekend.
Excuse me, I beg your pardon, but did you say “knives”?
wait… somebody please explain.
I’ve seen wingnuts write a lot of crazy shit… but it was always my understanding that direct incitements to violence were illegal, and thus were something that even the craziest of the crazy avoided.
Except for Hal Turner, apparently.
This Turner guy told his adherents to kill the Lexington school superintendent and provided his home address.
http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/state/x2084320886
Then there was the post quoted above by “Till”… and now this latest.
Forget about the guy’s politics… he is literally telling his supporters to kill people! No ambiguity, no hints! K-I-L-L! Sometimes even providing the home addresses of the people he wants to die!
How has he not been arrested? This is not some kind of rhetorical “how-has-george-bush-not-been-arrested?” kind of thing. I always thought that what Hal Turner is doing is illegal the way robbing a jewelry store is illegal. Somebody explain.
Sadly, the Constitution in Exile movement is all too real.
The funny thing about Hal Turner is that if you go down like a weepy Catholic schoolboy when you get punked by anonymous, you’re no Himmler.
Guantanamo’s still open, right?
I think Hal needs a little vacation somewhere where the clime is agreeable…
I dunno. Sometimes I think I’ll never grasp wingnut grammar.
That I can help you with. Take dyslexia and add an instanteousnly short attention span, and you got it.
There was a comment at Turner about ditching all law and constitutional amendments from 1859 onward.
Reminds me of one of the few times I saw Colbert get stumped. He had a female guest who wrote a book telling women to go back to traditional roles. Colbert made a quip about going back to the “50s” and then added, “the 1850s.” She didn’t hesitate and said yes she would like that.
If you Google Hal Turner FBI, you will see there is a lot of speculation that he’s an agent provocateur and hence the lack of legal action against him.
OMG, GDP!!!!! Kill the retards!
An hour to kill all the liberal traitors?
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It’s kind of like the old Santa Claus calculation that shattered my beliefs as a child. “Let’s see, that would be over twenty thousand chimneys per second…”.
Have you seen Turner’s “My Inauguration Dream” post (via)?
Thanks alec.
Someone’s got Hal’s number. Unsurprisingly, it is “0”.
What, no Soylent Green joke yet?
I think life would be much better with all the movie sound effects.
I think movies would be much better if they didn’t insist on conventions that don’t exist in the real lives of the people watching them.
An hour to kill all the liberal traitors? Hmmmm…assuming every Obama voter is on the death list, that makes 69,456,897 people to kill.
I’m thinking he means O’Bammy himself, along with the traitorous congresscritters who voted for the stim…er, porkulus. Perhaps via a dirty bomb at the State of the Union address. Hmmm, maybe that’s what that wingnut who was killed by his long-suffering wife was up to…
“Cut out literally 99.9% of the legal bullshit.”
What? No more lawsuits about cow manure? No, wait. There will be a lottery. Only one in one thousand manure cases will be heard. I can see how this would fix the government.
Chris Muir has spent far too much time learning to draw tits and not nearly enough time figuring out how to write a punch line.
Wow. That Dramatica page goes on and on. Looks like the 16 year olds have been all over this clown for years.
Yay for 4/7chan?
Dead dog in alley tonight, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are gutters and the gutters are filled with blood, and when the drains scab over all the vermin will drown.
Also, I would not be one iota surprised if Chris Muir does indeed own a pair of studded bracers that he bought at a local Renn Faire, as well as an eight-inch scar on one calf from the one time that he held a real broadsword and tried to pretend he was Mel Gibson.
J said: “Sadly, the Constitution in Exile movement is all too real.”
Thanks for the link, but now I foresee trouble in Wingnut Town when the Time Machine is delivered.The Constitution in Exiler’s want to go back to the Roaring Twenties. But 2b hankers to go back to 1859, presumably so that slavery won’t be abolished. If each group sends back a representative to “fix” things, the timeline is going to get all messed up and we might never be born!
Thanks to Gavin for demolishing the WorldNetDaily article that provides the foundation for this screed and thus saving all our lives. We owe you a Coke.
Maybe, before anyone does any traveling, they’ll have a huge present-day battle royale over control of the time machine itself.
I’m thinking he means O’Bammy himself, along with the traitorous congresscritters
Yeah, but like the flaccid clown who shot up the Unitarian Church, he knows he can’t get to the folks on Bernard Goldberg’s list, so look for more losers to bust a cap in productions of “Annie”.
(BTW, how ironic…a play that celebrates an orphan being saved by a Republican billionaire from the liberal welfare system, with FDR cheering him on from the sidelines! Not that homicidal wingnuts think these things through.).
I think movies would be much better if they didn’t insist on conventions that don’t exist in the real lives of the people watching them.
In some cases, yes – though along the lines of “deedle-eedle-eet” and big flashing prompts I think computers in particular need some larger-than-lifing treatment in the movies. As a programmer and user, I find computers plenty interesting to interact with, but peoples’ interactions with machines are hardly a spectator sport.
I think there’s some utilitarian purpose to it as well, just to make it as clear as possible to the audience what’s going on, even in cases where the viewer is blind or deaf.
Plus they’ve come a long way. Remember how they used to show video screens farting out text one letter at a time together with a ratcheta-ratcheta-ratcheta teletype sound?
It’s a Holiday in Cambodia, don’t forget to pack a wife…..
PolPot!
You wacky kids and your relentless optimism for an adaption of the most meticulous, naturalistic, and mannered comic ever made by the director of 300.
I think we’ve always given the Nazis too much credit; they’re all a bunch of Goldbergian musculars, faking fascism until they make it. The worst that ever comes out of them is some asshole with too much time on his hands trying to murder anonyomous strangers (c.f. anthrax mailings, Unitarian shooting, every Goddam bomb-building half-wit with a chip on his shoulder and up his ass) – the big wheels, or the guys that fancy themselves big wheels, are too busy thrusting themselves in accordance with the Leadership Principle to get shit done.
The only people Rockwell ever killed was krauts. Some Fuhrer.
I think movies would be much better if they didn’t insist on conventions that don’t exist in the real lives of the people watching them.
don’t get me started on setting off a building-wide sprinkler system with a single lighter. Yes, I’m looking at YOU Bruce Willis. AND you, Keanu.
I mean it, I will set down a soapbox…
How many attempts on Obama’s life have we seen publicized in the last six months or so? There was at least one alleged plot at the end of the Dem nomination, at least one plot on the Inauguration, and I’m sure I’m missing a few.
What exactly are the wingnuts going to bring to the table that would be more impressive than what Obama has already got? Need I remind you of the Suburban with Gatling Gun? http://www.gmcpedia.org/dillon-aero-gmc-yukon-xl-complete-with-gatling-gun
Just proving that – in a moment of necessity – Obama’s security team can outwingnut the best of them.
I need one of those SUVs.
Hey! You try living with genetic inferiority!
His ongoing inability to get busted sure does smell funny, alright … & rest assured that the moment anybody can categorically prove this to be the case, his media career will end, permanently. Sort of tough to do a radio show or blog while fleeing for dear life – just imagine how DELIGHTED Hal’s most hardcore fans would be to learn that they’d been sending their money – & in some cases their whereabouts – to a narc.
You wacky kids and your relentless optimism for an adaption of the most meticulous, naturalistic, and mannered comic ever made by the director of 300.
Heh. I’m not expecting a good adaptation, I’m expecting awesome visuals. The neon for the Gunga Diner alone should be worth the price of admission.
In some cases, yes – though along the lines of “deedle-eedle-eet” and big flashing prompts I think computers in particular need some larger-than-lifing treatment in the movies.
Perhaps, though I lean more towards wanting the minutae of everyday life to be portrayed as close to the real thing as possible. Impossible car chases and bullet-proof heroes are one thing–that’s necessary suspension of disbelief. My own preference is to not have mundane shit that I did 15 minutes ago sexed up just because the filmmakers seem to think I can’t handle seeing a real computer like the one I’m using right now.
“Every time one of their 4-door Ford sedans turned a corner, no matter what speed, you’d hear a squealing tire sound.”
Or worse tires squealing on a dirt road!
—
I must be a liberal commie bastard, because I don’t think the mass murder of millions of American women and children is a good thing to do.
—
For more on Hal Turner’s being an FBI informer, see Jurrasic Pork’s perfectly named blog Welcome (back) to Pottersville:
http://welcomebacktopottersville.blogspot.com/2009/02/dear-agent-haug-of-fbi.html
We’ll find out if he’s a provocateur or if he’s kosher soon, if he posts any addresses of congressional representatives. I think he’s for real, and I think the danger is real, see “Castegna, Chad”. Even an incompetent loon can cause a lot of trouble. But the funny part is, they can’t restrain themselves from bragging, they think there is a significant number of people who are ready to applaud them.
My suspicion is that he’s been adopted by a specific actor in the FBI and the entire ‘agent provocateur’ thing is mainly a CYA for both. Which means that once he starts getting high-profile (and he will, what with the righty whities getting surly whenever Oxy Daddy tells them to and forcing the gov’t to actually pay attention to Klan auxiliaries), his pal in the Bureau will either try and disappear or get taken down in a blaze of legal glory.
The main thing to take away from all of this is that the entire issue with Ward Churchill was another result of wingnut projection. This guy rubs elbows with people Fox spends millions giving a soapbox, so obviously the liberal media also wants to destroy a quarter of the American population.
“No no no no no. Words mean things,” Turner wrote at the time. The difference between ‘may’ and ‘will’ is the difference between an opinion and a threat,” he concluded. “One is lawful, the other is not!”
So saying “I may kill you” makes it a non-threat, and a mere opinion and, therefore legal? I’m thinking ol’ Hal doesn’t know the difference between an opinion and a threat. Doesn’t using the cowardly and non-committal “may” just tweak the odds somewhat, from 100% to some other unknown percentage of likelihood?
“Hey, sorry, dude, but there is an 82.5% chance I’m going to kill you. But that’s just my opinion.”
Castagana.
Should that ever occur, I visualize something akin to the last scene of “Perfume.”
My own preference is to not have mundane shit that I did 15 minutes ago sexed up just because the filmmakers seem to think I can’t handle seeing a real computer like the one I’m using right now.
Understandable. I wonder how much of those conventions have to do with the filmmakers themselves being uncomfortable with machines or assuming that the audience is.
I had the same kind of complaint about 2 girls 1 cup.
Wow. This cat is really plotting the “Patriotic” murder of thousands of his fellow American citizens! What a hero.
Here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking maybe him and, say, 19 of his friends could get some funding from a like-minded organization somewhere, and they could enroll in flight schools around the country. They could learn to fly airliners, just not land them, see?
Now here’s the cool part. They could hijack planes in midair, overpowering the crew with small edged weapons and hand-to-hand skills, then they could fly these planes into BUILDINGS!! YES!!
I swear, if these idiots on the right ever actually noticed how much they have in common with al Quaeda, their heads would explode…
mikey
I had the same kind of complaint about 2 girls 1 cup.
That must have made for a pretty tame reaction vid.
Q) What would happen if Hal Turner, Hal Lindsey, Hal Linden, Hal Holbrook, and HAL the computer from 2001 stepped into matter-teleportation machines and had their DNA combined a la The Fly?
A) We’d have a jealous, homicidal, genocidal detective/robot who was friends with Abe Vigoda and who was always incorrectly predicting the end of the world while traveling across the country impersonating Mark Twain.
Hmm. Y’know, I had a couple complaints about 2 girls 1 cup and that one wasn’t even ONE of ’em….
mikey
Add Hal McRae and get a baseball bat.
I had the same kind of complaint about 2 girls 1 cup.
I looked that up. And now I can’t take it back.
You wacky libs. You keep on thinking that ideology or ethics should be separating us from terrorists, but you refuse to recognize why we’re in the right: because our god is bigger.
Me: The reaction videos are the fun part of that internet tradition.
GUILTY! OF INNOCENCE!
Pet Peeve in Movies That Contain Computers:
People double-clicking where double-clicking is not necessary. ARGH.
“Start with the Unitarians, they’ll be easy.”
A common misconception: http://www.newsweek.com/id/178853
A revolution incited by people who are essentially cowards will be stillborn.
“I wonder how much of those conventions have to do with the filmmakers themselves being uncomfortable with machines”
No, having edited film and video myself I’ll tell you exactly what it is:
sound editing.
Without a noise, there’d be minutes of ‘dead air’ and the audience would be able to hear themselves, which makes them uncomfortable. It’s the same reason people read aloud what they are typing.
So there’s got to be some noise on the track, even if it implausible and unmotivated.
I just wish sound editors wouldn’t hand the same sound library of to each other. Make new sounds, damn it! I heard the computer text sound from Outland in a movie just last year! That effect is 20 years old! Get a new one, already!
Our experience with video is necessarily lo-fi, so we really have no idea how artificial Hollywood film is – especially sound. Almost everything you hear in a film is a voiceover recorded later. Hell, Matt Damon’s voice and face could be two separate people and you’d never know it.
It’s a major contributor to the big distinction between film and theatre actors: you can actually hear what theatre actors say. A solid voice isn’t an asset when you can just rerecord the line later.
if Hal Turner hooks up with RS Trike Farce, well….
well, it would be seven kinds of awesome.
EXSPERTER WARNER KREDITNEHMERS
von Raivo Pommer
Vor einer Falle beim Vergleich von Kreditangeboten warnt die ING-DiBa: Unter Umständen droht eine Herabstufung der Bonität durch die Schufa, die Schutzgemeinschaft für allgemeine Kreditsicherung. Das kann zur Folge haben, dass ein Kreditantrag abgelehnt wird oder der Kredit nur zu einem höheren Zinssatz zu erhalten ist.
Keine Gefahr besteht nach den Angaben der Experten, wenn eine Bank Einheitskonditionen für alle Kreditnehmer ausweist und beim Angebotsvergleich keine persönlichen Daten angegeben werden müssen. Aufpassen sollten Verbraucher bei der Jagd nach Kreditschnäppchen hingegen bei Banken, die den Zins von der Bonität des Kunden abhängig machen.
Erkennen lassen sich solche Angebote daran, dass kein fester Zinssatz ausgewiesen wird, sondern mit Begriffen wie beispielsweise “Ratenkredite ab 6,9 Prozent” geworben wird. Um ein konkretes Angebot zu erhalten, müssen Verbraucher bei solchen Geldinstituten ihre Adressdaten sowie weitere Angaben zur Einkommens- und Vermögenslage hinterlassen. Um den bonitätsabhängigen Zins zu ermitteln, fragt dann die Bank auf Basis dieser Daten bei der Schufa an.
Hier entscheidet sich, ob der Interessent daraus Nachteile hat: Wird die Anfrage von der Bank als reine Konditionenanfrage deklariert, hat dies keine Auswirkung auf den so genannten Score-Wert, mit dem die Schufa die Bonität eines Kreditnehmers angibt
That way overstates it. Getting the sound right at the first go is cheaper and more desirable than sitting around fucking with things later.
To the extent that it’s possible, although good luck with that unless you’re doing a buddy-cop picture where the loose cannon is Hurricane Katrina.
It’s kind of interesting once you notice that sort of thing. There’s a certain squeaky door noise I heard in a computer game about 15 years ago, and since then it’s always jumped out at me in TV shows, movies, etc.
Hey, if you don’t have the time/expertise/facilities to do a good recording, just pull it from the library…
I just commented on this at jp’s place but have to share it here. Check out the street view for Turner’s listed address. Niiice..
It’s very possible for almost everything, and it’s pretty much the point of having actors who act and sound guys on a set who record sound. Looping after the fact covers effects-related impossibilities in recording and sound screw-ups or muffed lines in a good take, otherwise you have a Fellini film in which all the audio really jars vs. what’s happening on-screen.
-Biggest of all, fix the awful patent system designed to keep the small inventor down. We have computers now, lets make a system that works.
An thee speaks the frustrated computer geek that makes up at last 50% of wingnutophere.
I’ve always loved the art of Foley work, too. And how cool is it that it’s named after a guy who did it, and the name lives on?
You keep on thinking that ideology or ethics should be separating us from terrorists, but you refuse to recognize why we’re in the right: because our god is bigger.
Dr. Meacham informs me, via interociter, “Our true size is the size of our God!”
I’d supply the video but my Cathermin tube with inindium complex of +4 is on the fritz. And the intensifier disk seems to have lost its oomph.
I was a pre-med student working at a hospital when I first heard the term Foley artist. What a surprise to find out what they actually do!
You wacky kids and your relentless optimism for an adaption of the most meticulous, naturalistic, and mannered comic ever made by the director of 300.
And yet there is no adaption of “Flaming Carrot”. Truly there is no justice.
A common misconception: http://www.newsweek.com/id/178853
That’s exactly what I was alluding to, uncle noel. Adkisson considered his victims “chickenshit liberals” who would do nothing and let him slaughter them in large numbers, and Hal Turner seems to think similarly. I think any of these morons will have a similar surprise waiting for them if they ever manage to lever their flaccid, useless asses out of their basement redoubts.
To be fair, you should have known better. Medicine’s had shoving things up people’s dicks down to a science for a while now.
I suspect it’s a product of cross-fertilization with the survivalist movement, which tends to take for granted that a sufficiently enormous collection of military hardware is all that’s keeping them from being a horrible, scrawny loser. Kind of like the evangelical crazies that mistake atheists for a kind of Muslim – someone which such a strongly negative identity isn’t going to find the idea of someone existing outside of that dichotomy comprehensible.
a sufficiently enormous collection of military hardware is all that’s keeping them from being a horrible, scrawny loser.
You mean it’s NOT?
Crap.
So, what else do I need?
mikey
How exactly did the stimulus bill take $6K away from a cartoonist?
I totally know how last year’s stimulus took $6K away from my family. But it was a literal $6K – we literally paid $6K more than a ‘married’ family would have.
The Buttocks.
I think movies would be much better if they didn’t insist on conventions that don’t exist in the real lives of the people watching them.
Such convention #1: singing into hairbrushes.
Imagine my disappointment and disillusionment when I discovered that the POW! and BIFF! sound-effects in Batman comics were not performed by the actual characters, but in fact were added afterwards by a specialist ‘Foley letterer’, using a range of improvised equipment to get a convincing sound.
Don Martin is different. Don Martin performed his own sound-effects (and his own stunts).
faced with world war 4 battle of civilizations these same folks couldn’t get around to enlisting – so why would insurrection be any different?
Yipes:
http://halturnershow.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-blog-is-ending.html
What the hell is this?
I have decided to cease publishing my views, hopes, observations and dreams on issues social, cultural and political. There’s much real work to be done – including the use of brutal force and violence – and this endeavor is a waste of time.
Internet Patriots are a lot like Voyeurs; they watch but can’t or won’t do anything in real life. There’s no time left for such useless people or hoping they will grow a pair.
As I undertake the acts that must be done, the rest of you can sit back and watch; after all, that’s the only thing you’re good for.
Posted by HalTurnerShow.com at 2/16/2009 03:17:00 PM
Soooo….I guess we’d better not make them stop this car?
Florp! Shnickle! Bakkida bakkidda bakkida!
Total coincidence he’s ‘ending’ his blog this afternoon, right?
There’s a large collection of ridiculous movie conventions at Roger Ebert’s website, mostly reader contributions:
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=GLOSSARY
its iron boot crushes the very existence of the liberal hyaenas who laugh and gloat and point mockingly
KAPLAK-KAK PLOOF BARRAMM SPA-DOW BLUKA BLUKA KAKA-SPLAK BLORT SPAP PLORF GADOON BLUT BLUT BLUT
Sean sent me a check to “disappear” for a while, but I’ll be back as soon as I run out of cocaine and rent boys.
“I don’t actually know who decided that computers in television and cinema ought to go “deedle-eedle-eet” every time the keyboard is used or something happens on the screen”
CURSE YOU! You have found out our plan. As you have so brilliantly surmised, not all of us in TV-land are members of the liberal-commie-conspiracy. Luckily, many patriotic Americans who know the power of subliminal programming have burrowed deep into the editorial suites of procedural shows for the purpose of re-programming the brains of America with our “deedle’s” and “eet’s,” and also for contacting brave patriots when the time comes to blow all you to your Godless end.
What you have not yet understood is that there ARE “deedle-eet’s” when the computers are offscreen, but you, being a liberal-socialist-commie-pinko-fag are not programmed to hear or understand them. Only members with certified NRA decoder rings are allowed to hear the messages which coordinate our plans for your final extermination.
Turner is “going underground.” And by that I mean he’s taking the PATH train to Christopher Street to pick up a hustler.
There’s much real work to be done – including the use of brutal force and violence…
I’ve rarely felt so thankful not to be Hal Turner’s penis.
What the hell does that mean? That the next time we hear about Hal Turner, it will be in a front page Huffpost story with headlines two inches tall?
Ummm, he doesn’t know where any of US live, does he?
Again, read the Encyclopedia Dramatica link I put up. This is SOP – he talks a big game and then blows up after hostile attention like a suspicious wedding in Afghanistan, and he invariably blames his listeners for being too cowardly to do what he does for the Master Race. Hilarious, but not exactly threatening per se.
He’s quit the Internet before, notably last time he was punked by the /b/tards as alec’s link noted above.
I’d imagine he’ll be back.
Dammit
The comments at the blog seem to have all disappeared in the last 10 minutes. I was reading them, now I can’t find any.
Just so you all don’t miss any comedy gold, be sure to read the comments in the Dan Riehl post that Gavin linked. There’s one in there so stupid that even Riehl calls him out. That’s pretty impressive Doy there.
The comments at the blog seem to have all disappeared in the last 10 minutes. I was reading them, now I can’t find any.
That’s a real shame, too, because one of Turner’s fans had a stunning seven part manifesto going.
he’s taking the PATH train to Christopher Street to pick up a hustler.
Um, he’s going to be real surprised at how the neighborhood’s changed. Gwyneth Paltrow’s nanny is going to call the block watch and have him run him out of town.
There’s much real work to be done – including the use of brutal force and violence…
Washing the dishes — UR DOIN IT RONG.
Well, Hal Turner has one thing in common with the Al Qaeda folks for sure: He hates Israel every bit as much as they do. I believe he wanted to see George W. shot, too, because of his stance on Israel. Or immigration.
Which brings up something that really struck me about batshit-crazy-bloodthirsty-lunitic right -wing fringe politics making strange bedfellows. Reading Turner’s (and others’) spewings on Obama, I was struck by how like Crazy Pammie Atlas the phrasing was. Same insults, similar complaints. And yet, Hal Turner would like to see Pammie shipped off to some Auschwitz on the Hudson because she’s, to use his very most favorite slur, a kike. Amazing thing when you think about it.
There’s much real work to be done – including the use of brutal force and violence…
I know it’s been said a million times, but it IS important to remember that dudes who like to talk like this are the first ones to run to mommy for a Barney Rubble BandAid when they get a splinter, and who cry under the covers when there’s a loud, scary thunderstorm.
While there is absolutely no telling who might go crazy and get all courage-y and Rambo-esque on a given night, tough guy talk about how cool brutal violence is will consistently be a good predictor of cowardly crybabyness…
mikey
We hunger!
The Turner piece with comments is still in Google’s cache.
Washing the dishes — UR DOIN IT RONG.
Not if you’re living with these guys, Smut.
A handy extension for the research-inclined:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/977
This latest development only strengthens Gavin’s point and that is Wingnuts Are Drama Queens (or in the case of Giuliani…)
What amazes me, is how they manage to be so infinitely self-unaware without actually being dead.
The Turner piece with comments is still in Google’s cache.
Gots to save that……
ScrapBook is an awesome Firefox extension from addons.mozilla.org that lets you save whole pages to your hard drive.
A handy extension for the drama-inclined.
And similarly, the people who do all the killing are mainly twisted-up men facing middle age and thinking of themselves as posessing a sort of enlightenment above and beyond everyday life. No Rambos – just poets, and generally far less ignorant about what they seem like to other people. (Thus McVeigh’s ‘ass chip’ thing – a complex joke partially at his own expense, something it seems dubious Hannity or Beck or Oshry or Turner is capable of.)
Watch the guys who, after hitting middle age, still worry about personal decline but don’t go out and buy an Italian car or fuck a college student. They’re what’s typical of American political murder (outside of office and school shootings, of course).
[sneaks up on PeeJ, hugs him]
Here’s the cached version with comments. They’re really lovely- I just randomly scrolled and this is the first thing I found:
Be sure to visit that link and flag this as a hate site.
“a sufficiently enormous collection of military hardware …”
I always have to resist the urge to tell these losers I HAVE GUNS TOO. (What can I say; I’m a Unitarian, but I’m also a Texan.) I mean, I don’t want to exacerbate the violent inclinations these guys feel, but I would like to disabuse them of their delusions.
So what do we think? Enough flags on his blogspot to shut him down, or he just decided to shut down pre-emptively, now that he’s gotten himself another go-round of attention?
Or might it be that Mrs. Hal Turner, tired of answering crank calls from 14-yr.-olds, & sick & tired of having supported fat boy for the last six yrs., finally put the hammer down & told him to stop playing w/ his blog & get a job, starting tomorrow?
Tanx! No need to sneak, neiver!
Doctor Missus Marita is a sneaker and I am an old tennis shoe.
Wow. I’m truly fucking amazed, even considering how often I get ignored everywhere, that I, of all people, didn’t even merit a link. After all, Turner was toiling away on his crappy little blog in complete obscurity until he decided to troll my blog and I elevated him back into the public eye.
You’re welcome for the inspiration. Anyfuckingtime, guys.
mikey said:
A shit moat.
Ummm… do you mean other than the footnoted link at the bottom of the post, jurassicpork?
You did get linked, jp: see the footnote.
Had to take a peek because I have him killfiled for doing nothing but blogwhoring. Lo and behold, he’s being a dick.
I’m pretty sure I saw a link, jp… Sure did: See the link @ Meanwhile, back in the jungle….
If it was me, I’d have given you above the line billing.
Added amusement.
You don’t see wow gold complaining like this.
Wow gold is a class act.
“Every
JewWall Street Banker and conglomerate CEO is a parasitic subhuman who makes money off the labor exploits rather than dirty their hands to do the real work.”FIX!
Wow. I’m truly fucking amazed, even considering how often I get ignored everywhere, that I, of all people, didn’t even merit a link.
I’m sorry, did you say something? Katy Perry was on.
“To the extent that it’s possible, although good luck with that”
I once recorded sound on the top of a (small) mountain in a snow storm. I had a Sennehiser 816 inside a Rycote blimp with a windjammer sock over it. I heard NONE of the 20 MPH wind gusts, I didn’t hear the snow hitting the mic, all I heard was the dialogue!
Given that many scenes are shot where every actor is wearing a body mic AND has their own shotgun and boom operator, then getting clean sound on set is easy … as long as you aren’t shooting on the approach path of an airfield or some such other sound source…
– – –
“There’s a certain squeaky door noise I heard in a computer game about 15 years ago”
And then there’s the famous ‘Wilhem Scream’ series. There’s one in every single Lucas and Spielberg movie, and many others…
– – –
“I’ve always loved the art of Foley work, too”
I’ve done some of that. It’s amazing how many sounds you can fake by just gently scrunching a plastic shopping bag!
jurassic pork: The Sadlies permit your incessant blog-pimping; isn’t that enough?
JeezWhizz, jp, don’t complain so much. I typed two things about Mr. Turner & he didn’t even appear to defend himself.
Although I will grant you could have been better billed.
Doctor Missus Marita is a sneaker and I am an old tennis shoe.
I am an Ugg boot.
It does occur to me that we do a pretty good job of ignoring blogwhoring. Now how about applying that to trolling…
getting clean sound on set is easy …
Yeh, it’s the fucking mumbling actors that’s the real problem. DAMN YOU BRANDO!!!!
OK, I have to take off my Red Sox hat everytime I pee. Didn’t see the link at the bottom. Getting ignored is so habitual I come to expect it.
purassic: Maybe if I got blogrolled more often I wouldn’t have to pimp my blog. At last you can’t say I don’t contribute to the dialogue.
From The Archives.
I’ve always been more of a mukluk, m’self.
Jeez, that could have been worse.
Jeez, that could have been worse.
Oh noes! Crocs!
Would anyone like to fess up to being a jelly shoe?
Maybe if you were doing this because you had something you wanted to share or because, gosh, I don’t know, you liked writing, it wouldn’t be a problem. But an attitude like this means it’s a popularity contest, or maybe a money-making thing, I don’t know.
It’s generally more satisfying when you do it for your own satisfaction rather than the number of clicks you get.
Jeez, that could have been worse.
Would anyone like to fess up to being a jelly shoe?
Sometimes I am a Herr Doktor Marten.
I wouldn’t have to pimp my blog.
1: Whatcha doing?
2: Just
fucking the dogpimping the blog.Maybe if I got blogrolled more often I wouldn’t have to pimp my blog. At last you can’t say I don’t contribute to the dialogue.
Maybe if your blog didn’t suck balls you’d get more visitors, and maybe if you weren’t such a whiny-ass jerk your blog wouldn’t suck so bad. And I can say whatever I want, including that you DON’T contribute to the dialogue here. You stick your foot in the door by throwing off a line or two about the topic then proceed straight to the pimping. You’re obnoxious.
And I didn’t see a “thank you” in that note above to Gavin.
I’m not going to confirm or deny the rumors that me and my co-author Djur are in a Satanic love triangle with a wingtip.
Hiya Dr. Missus Marita.
I never wear plastic clogs, meself.
Flip flops, on the other hand…
You know the first thing historians do when they pick up a text? They go straight to the footnotes.
Fuckin’ the dog / fuckin’ the dog
Fuckin’ the dog / fuckin’ the dog
You don’t know what it’s like / you don’t have a clue
If you did you’d find yourselves / Raping a cockapoo
The increasing paranoia and frothing at the lips madness of Orilly, Beck, Hannity & Limpaw are encouraging the genuinely insane. Is this deliberate? Are Murdoch and his lieutenants hoping for more church and campus massacres? Probably, yes. Its good for ratings, after all. A campus massacre where young adults are slaughtered is good for, say, 3 days of 24hr coverage, including insulting the persons who didn’t “charge the shooter” or whip out a magnum of their own. On the other hand, a church shooting where the wimpy liberal Unitarians DO charge and subdue (without killing!) the shooter is good for about, um- 90 seconds of coverage.
Did someone say footwear? Here’s me me me!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3011/3077449393_4a7050d47d.jpg
They go straight to the footnotes.
I thought we were finished with the shoe leitmotif.
I thought we were finished with the shoe leitmotif.
Are you trying to sabotage it?
Why, lookie!! From the “Sean Hannity’s pal” link:
What are the odds? Pretty good, actually.
Is this why Reagan wanted the mentally ill on the streets? (You know, the way the Demonrats are trucking a million illegal aliens to ACORN camps to be trained in illegal voting?) Foot-soldiers in the Reagan revolution?
Okay, that’s forever altered. For the better I think.
Time wounds all heels.
Puppy slippers!
MzN: Is that dog peeing love or peeing on love?
Well, alec, I thought they were just cute little puppy love slippers. I see nothing to suggest urination. By the way that’s not even me, I just made that up.
I think it’s a tail, not a lifted leg.
Smut Clyde: Don’t be so arch.
I thought it was pooping love.
Which would make for a pretty awesome puppy: Now, much easier to clean up!
I’m Hal Turner’s little brother.
jurrasic pork: You got a link but it’s in the end/footnote 🙂
And I did follow this story yesterday because of your comment up here. Thanks.
Wedgies for all my friends!
Which would make for a pretty awesome puppy: Now, much easier to clean up!
Also, it would be waay less gross when the puppy rolled in it.
2 girls 1 pup
Which would make for a pretty awesome puppy: Now, much easier to clean up!
Love can be messy, too; it benefits to always keep a towel handy.
By the way that’s not even me, I just made that up.
Was that a spontaneous admission or did someone have to pump you for information?
And didn’t I score here once with a joke about Weejuns of Mass Destruction? Yes, I’m living on past glories now…
Ma’am, even if the pose didn’t look a lot like the classic lifted leg I have to point out as someone who has had lots of dogs that they have a powerful interest in pee, and all the more so as puppies. I have never met a puppy which will so much as pause before taking a leak and proceeding to go about its day.
Although as for pooping love, there I do have limits.
Like Crissa said upthread, WTF is Chris Muir on about now with his wingnut odalisques? How does the stimulus bill cost Other Scoliosis Girl $6000 this year? What a buffoon.
Love can be messy, too;
Only if you’re doing it right.
I used to be blogrolled here.
It didn’t help with traffic.
Hi Gav!
“There’s a certain squeaky door noise I heard in a computer game about 15 years ago”
There’s some collection of sound effects that has a “video game” sound taken from the 1982 Atari Pac-Man cartridge. You still hear that one sometimes – rarely, since it doesn’t sound very much like modern games, but you do still hear it.
i.e., you still hear it in TV shows when characters are playing video games, not in actual video games.
I could be mistaken, but I did mention the Maine story back here:
But I just assumed it wasn’t me who brought it to Gavin’s attention.
Isn’t “actual video game” some kind of oxymoron?
How does the stimulus bill cost Other Scoliosis Girl $6000 this year?
I think the assumption is that the entire cost of the Porkulus is going to be paid for in a single year in tax increases, even though nobody said anything like that.
Of course, Bush’s 5 trillion addition to the debt is just borrowed from China, and instead of paying it back we’ll just threaten to blow them up instead, so it didn’t really cost anything, or something.
I thought it was pooping love.
2 girls 1 pup
I leave the thread for 5 minutes and suddenly you’re all talking about poop-tarts again.
I’ve always thought Foley guy (editor?) would be the coolest job in movies. I’m always saying to the missus when we’re watching a movie “hey, that was nice Foley!”, which she takes with good-natured not-giving-a-shit. She cares more about the “actors.” Whatever.
You know what high-budget movie I thought had terrible Foley work? The Dark Knight. Not like it ruined it or anything, but still.
The Doom wiki cites the ultimate provenance of any sound in the original games, incidentally – almost all that weren’t produced in-house for some specific effect (the revenant being a deepened sample of a little girl saying ‘Why?’ the end boss, etc) were from a specific sound pack.
Usage rights tend to be package deals, so that’ll come up a lot.
Isn’t “actual video game” some kind of oxymoron?
Heh. As in, a video game that actually exists and can be purchased for play by actual humans, instead of a non-video game activity within a TV show that suggests people are playing a video game.
The distinctions are confusing. It does get to be like the nth-generation mimeograph or something.
Wrong link, make it simple:
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/17200.html
I used to have the Disney “Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House” album, and I still hear the dog sounds from that record in shows and films.
The Dark Knight didn’t work for me on a few levels, so I didn’t even notice the sounds.
Usage rights tend to be package deals, so that’ll come up a lot.
Indeed – I have some friends who have done sound work for video games. They almost never recorded anything themselves (except for voice stuff), instead licensing CDs full of effects. The Hanna-Barbera collection got a surprising amount of use for games that were not at all cartoony.
C’est n’est pas un POOP.
I leave the thread for 5 minutes and suddenly you’re all talking about poop-tarts again.
The shoe puns couldn’t last.
The Hanna-Barbera collection
One of the disappointments of Fashion Week this year.
I used to have the Disney “Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House” album, and I still hear the dog sounds from that record in shows and films.
Was that the one with “Chinese Water Torture”? Drip… drip… drip… SCREEEEAM!!!
I always think of that when I hear people talk about waterboarding.
Some of the locals (Bubba, g, Ryk, T4) have been kind enough to blogroll me.
But it’s ultimately a fools errand, as I can’t be trusted to update the thing regularly…
But thanks!
mikey
How does the stimulus bill cost Other Scoliosis Girl $6000 this year?
Of course, single-payer health care would cover her doctor and back brace costs, so I’m thinking she’d still come out ahead.
I always think of that when I hear people talk about waterboarding.
Ha! Me too. I was always too embarrassed to admit it.
I always think of that when I hear people talk about waterboarding.
Oh, sure. Blame the dead frozen guy.
Was that the one with “Chinese Water Torture”? Drip… drip… drip… SCREEEEAM!!!
Dat’s der bunny, and me too! That really IS chilling.
New competitor for Worst Blog Ever:
http://barackistheantichrist.blogspot.com/
Holy crap – Chinese Water Torture!!!
linky!
DAMN YOU AND YOUR FAST FINGERS!
A Foley might be an editor as well, but the Foley actually makes the sounds. So for instance, if the sound of breaking bones is called for, he makes that sound by breaking the bones of people nobody will miss.
Noted. No wait, LOGGED.
Far worse!
I used to have the Disney “Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House” album
That reminds me of when Disney’s record label had a multi-tiered product line; the real original soundtrack album of, say, “Mary Poppins” would list for $5.98, a no-gatefold-jacket version with a soundalike cast and reduced orchestrations would go for $3.98, and for $1.98 there was the generic kiddie hostess with kazoo and ukelele version in a plain sleeve that my parents bought me.
Cats and dogs. I think these still get a lot of use.
thunder—who is, by the way, featured in the linked video—wins the thread!
Raymond ShawHal Turner is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.Wow. that “Obama is the AntiChrist” blogger is seriously off her meds.
a no-gatefold-jacket version with a soundalike cast and reduced orchestrations would go for $3.98, and for $1.98 there was the generic kiddie hostess with kazoo and ukelele version in a plain sleeve that my parents bought me.
I had no idea they did that! Amazing.
I had an early allergy to Disney, so this never came up.
Thank you, J—!
Also, the common tater before some person who sounds like me deserves applause:
Gahhh! Creed! I’ll talk!
Speaking for some, I think it sounds crazy.
that “Obama is the AntiChrist” blogger is seriously off her meds.
Yup, that site makes Blogs for Brownback look cuddly.
A classic.
Yup, that site makes Blogs for Brownback look cuddly.
I think it’s irresponsible to advocate for anal intercourse without condoms.
What?
g, I think so too, or just too stupid for words.
She is so desperate for someone to read her blog that she started a thread on a forum I hang out at, referring to “this woman’s amazing story” as if she were someone else, and that we’d believe it when we saw the proof, etc.Pretty awful that she’s pretending to be the best friend of the blogger.
She claims that she’s not a racist because she is married to a black man etc. I guess she never heard of Strom Thurmond, not that he married the girl.
I read a littlle bit of it. Apparently her whole shtick is that she was watching the TeeVee one night during the Pennsylvania primaries, and decided that Obama was the AntiChrist. She’s kind of a One Trick Pony.
When I was working in a warehouse there was a machine that’d lift us up a few floors to get to shelving. We’d leave it up at table level to relieve the back strain of getting stuff off it. One guy – who was fabulously stupid – actually did a Flintstone skedaddle to get on to the thing, starting a ways off, skittering a bit with his legs before any forward motion, and then he’d launch himself at the machine in order to try to jump up on to it. He made it about 70% of the time.
She’s only describing what the voices in her head are telling her. If it weren’t for teh intertoobs, no one except her close relatives and her church family would be listening.
She’s kind of a One Trick Pony.
If you’re gonna be a one-trick pony, it’s gotta be good. Like Wipeout – I know people are going to wipe out on those giant balls, but I still laugh every single time.
barackistheantichrist.com is no giant balls.
If it weren’t for teh intertoobs, no one except her close relatives and her church family would be listening.
Judging by the comment count, even they don’t care.
Look at me, I’m fucking Andy Warhol here.
I would rather not watch, thankyouverymuch.
Americans getting chubbies on for ‘Braveheart’? Weird.
So did he make this noise 30% of the time?
My own preference is to not have mundane shit that I did 15 minutes ago sexed up just because the filmmakers seem to think I can’t handle seeing a real computer like the one I’m using right now.
Our ideas would intrigue you (even if our films would bore you to death) and we would like you to subscribe to our newsletter.
I like the scene where he says “I’m goin’ to pick fight”…
Those are always good moments…
mikey
Muir and his Braveheart fantasies is just stupid and the punchline, such as it is, zoomed past me at 1,000 mph again.
I propose giving them Fort Sumter to have their seceded state (Name = the Dogarse state, motto = “Mum, where’s the Vaseline?”)
There is water between it and realityland.
When it comes to poop-tarts, there’s a time for talk and there’s a time for the use of brutal force and violence.
And I’m not cleaning the toaster.
Also the headline and photo cap on this post are lovely.
I was living with my father and he went on sabbatical for a year to Europe. He tried to cure me of Pop-Tart love by buying me multiple boxes of every kind.
It was heaven.
I had a pop-tart burst into flames in my toaster once. Them things are dangerous.
My neighbor upstairs is convinced that Obama is the anti-christ. She was telling me why one day, but suddenly all I could hear were crashing waves and seagulls. From what I understand, he is the anti-christ because, well… because he is, and it is just so obvious, with all of his anti-christness and reverse jebusosity. (But it was pretty funny when her husband voted for Obama.)
wait, is day by day going frog, because the war paint reminded me of this:
http://www.dukeupress.edu/books/images/covers/978-0-8223-3260-2.jpg
Uh, I’m pretty sure that is one of Gavin’s remixes. I don’t know if the war paint in the original or not (which I can’t find).
Big Hollywood has the original.
Oh, my head. She just claimed she works in da Ghetto and every black student and adult she works with, which is 100% of the students and adults, voted for Obama because he was black but not a one of them could tell you a thing about him. And then she calls me a racist. This was because I pointed out that the blog owner’s desire to vote for Obama was a racist response, because she cited no other than that he was black.
Dear Lord, she has a tin ear.
See the comments at Bug Lolwood? AT number (with a bullet, probably) is a gem containing the following deathless prose
It appears to be a reaction to some people liking Latte. Which is hangin’ offence where I come from.
Incidentally, how is the Serfing measly silver market these days? Still serfing?
LOL – for the umpteenth time, Turner flounces off the Intertubes – chilled to the bone by the prospect of being subjected to yet another round of severe pwnage at the hands of geeky teenagers. What a warrior!
The Young Ones = WIN!
I learned long ago that the way to avoid public interaction with violence-fetishing skids is to go out when the weather is inclement. I’m guessing it’s a combination of being total pussies & not wanting to muss their hair.
It’s quite educational to see one deprived of their peer-group … they resemble nothing so much as a lost puppy.
Ah, Braveheart – the film that gets worse every time you see it.
Look out for Mel’s magical, continuity-defying axe/sword/invisible sammich that he wields in one of the ‘charge’ scenes.
Look, I know its very unprogressive of me to even mention the idea and I’m sure I’ll smoke a turd in hell for it, but couldn’t we fulfill the wingnut conspiracy fantasists’ nightmares just this once and get our one of our Evil Liburl Sugardaddies like Soros to pony up the cash for a clandestine hit squad and just have fuckers like Hal Turner swatted like disease-spreading mosquitos before they do any more damage? I know, I know, I know — this is exactly the way they talk, but since the Flying Spagetti Monster hasn’t seen fit to visit his noodly wrath on Turner, isn’t there something we and do about him other than pointing and laughing?
couldn’t we fulfill the wingnut conspiracy fantasists’ nightmares just this once and get our one of our Evil Liburl Sugardaddies like Soros to pony up the cash for a clandestine hit squad and just have fuckers like Hal Turner swatted like disease-spreading mosquitos before they do any more damage?
No. SATSQ.
Look at Turner’s latest post. Cocky li’l shit, ain’t he? (The Secret Service story is particularly funny — I find it a tad unlikely that it played out the way he says it did.)
Yeah. As much as it would be fun to mess w/ those guys, he’s either (like others have speculated) an inside man for the feds or he’s crazy. And not the funny kind of crazy either. His commenters are worse.
I’m not really sure I want to find out which he is.
As far as I know he’s never actually done anything except run his mouth, so let him. I’d rather not provoke him into doing more.
So if this wanker is an FBI informant, does this somehow make it OK for him to stir up this kind of shit? Some hateful little loser might be inspired to go on a shooting spree, but that’s OK because the guy who inspired him is working for “us”? All this Machiavellian intrigue is making my head spin.
I was just saying that I’d rather not mess around with him like we might’ve done to, say, Amy Alkon.
What J Neo Marvin said. If this guy is an FBI stooge/agent provocateur/informant or whatever, it doesn’t change that he’s inciting someone nutbag to kill people. Seems to me that encourage others to commit violence is a pretty piss-poor way of catching people who commit violence. Because of, you know, all the violence.
If someone does commit a killing based on Turner’s actions, and that person’s attorney had hard proof that Turner was acting at the behest of law enforcement, there might be a case for entrapment. Also, the survivors would have grounds for wrongful death lawsuits against him and against the government.
Oh, and of course there would be someone dead who would otherwise be alive.
All in all, I’d say that if there’s a Turner/Fed relationship that’s intended as a law enforcement strategy, it’s a pretty fucking stupid one. Not that the feddies can’t be stupid, but I’m inclined to think that this is beyond even their capacity for jaw-droppingly bad ideas. You’d think that after Waco, the FBI would be fairly attuned to incredibly stupid mistakes.
Not sure about that, Simba. He’s an asshole, but he’s pretty obviously a coward. Just saying, Amy didn’t fold up her blog because people were laughing at her. Between them both, she’s definitely got the balls.
Which one of the two would you rather face in a knife fight?
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