Here We Go
How did I know that WorldNetDaily would eventually publish a gem like this:
Hurricane hits just before homosexual event
Christian activist: Act of God prevented ‘Southern Decadence’ festival
Hurricane Katrina walloped New Orleans just two days before the annual homosexual “Southern Decadence” festival was to begin in the town, an act being characterized by some as God’s work.
Fascinating. The hurricane also struck only one week after the annual Shrimp Festival in Delcambre, Louisiana. As you all know, God hates shrimp so much that He pointedly calls them “abominations” in the Bible. This debauched, gluttonous festival in Delcambre clearly aroused God’s wrath and forced Him to seek vengeance. So for all you sinful jerks who decided to flaunt the Lord’s will and chow down on shellfish, I point my finger and say, “YOU helped this to happen!”
Southern Decadence has a history of “filling the French Quarters section of the city with drunken homosexuals engaging in sex acts in the public streets and bars,” says a statement from the Philadelphia Christian organization Repent America.
Uh-huh. By this logic, Provincetown should be hit with weekly earthquakes, plagues and locust attacks.
This year’s 34th annual Southern Decadence festival, which drew 125,000 revelers last year, was set to begin today in the Big Easy and run through Monday. The massive flooding of the city and evacuation order from Gov. Kathleen Blanco has forced the event’s cancellation.
“Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city,” stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage in a statement. “From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence,’ New Orleans was a city that opened its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same.”
“Yes, it’s deeply sad that God had to kill all those people to send those fags a message. But y’all should know by now that He’s kind of a hard-ass. Christ, He killed the freaking first-born child in every Egyptian household!”
Repent America says three former and current mayors of New Orleans have issued official proclamations welcoming visitors to Southern Decadence.
“Let us pray for those ravaged by this disaster. However, we must not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long,” Marcavage said.
And thus, they deserved to die. Mr. Marcavage, I think I speak for the civilized world when I say that you are the biggest cum-guzzling ass-fuck monster twat in the history of cum-guzzling ass-fuck monster twats. No, seriously. Fuck you.
“May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God.”
And may Marcavage’s lunacy cause him to be thrown into the nut house, never to return.
Anyway, be sure to piss off Marcavage by giving money to the hurricane relief effort. God might hate you for it, but it’s the right thing to do.
And may Marcavage’s presence always cause people to discover at least one thing they all find intolerable within their city limits.
Hmmm……….there’s another group running around claiming the images of the hurricane look like a fetus. Naturally, this means that the hurricane was caused by all the people in the Gulf Coast region who get abortions, because it’s God’s way of telling us how much he cries when we kill babies.
If you put them together, I think I’ve finally found a wingnut position I can agree with: the hurricane was, in fact, caused by gay men who get abortions.
Makes as much sense as anything else I’ve ever heard these fruitloops say.
Oh my holy fricking cow….I should’ve looked further down on that WorldNut Daily page before I submitted the above.
There’s an article linked at the bottom of the page mocking the idea that global warming caused the hurricane. While global warming wouldn’t have *caused* a hurricane, it is certainly possible that it can contribute to the strength of a storm. Not to say that’s what happened here – merely to say it is possible.
But global warming is mockable, whilst sodomy-spawned storms of death is perfectly sensible. I swear to Jebus I’m gonna smack the next person I hear say something about how humans are an “intelligent” species.
But global warming is mockable, whilst sodomy-spawned storms of death is perfectly sensible. I swear to Jebus I’m gonna smack the next person I hear say something about how humans are an “intelligent” species.
I use WND to justify my non-belief in God.
Of course there are so many hurricaines, we’ve decimated the population of pirates.
As a proud American (more proud than I am of being a Canadian), a proud Republican, a Bible-believing Christian, a pro-life advocate, and a strong believer in traditional marraige, I’d like to say this: Michael Marcavage of Repent America, you don’t speak for me. To state openly and unabashedly that the devastation left in the wake of Katrina is an act of God’s wrath is extremely reckless, irresponsible, unbiblical, and frankly, outrageous. You are inciting condemnation and hatred when you should be engendering compassion. Here’s a verse from that Bible of yours that you are hitting hurting victims over the head with: “Christ did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that the world, through Him, might be saved.”
You know, come to think of it, we could develop a scale for measuring the seriousness of any given disaster by seeing how long it takes the wingnuts to blame the gays for it. The longer it takes them to recover their crazy equilibrium enough to blame the gays after a disaster, the more serious the disaster. It could be scaled in orders of magnitude, and the scale of measurement could be called the “Falwell” or something.
So, a smaller disaster, like a school shooting, that gets blamed on “the gay agenda in our high schools” within an hour after its occurrence would be a one Falwell disaster, but something that takes a whole week before the loony fringes blames the sodomites for it would get ten Falwells.
Considering that this storm started on Sunday night, and nobody got around to blaming men kissing for it until late today….what does that make this? 6.7 Falwells, or something like that?
Jillian, that’s an excellent Sadly, No! post, in and of itself.
I wish I had thought of it. As it stands now, it’s a piece of snark I’ll be using for the next few weeks and passing it off as my own. (..with some guilt, I hasten to add).
But don’t forget — The Left is politicizing the tragedy by pointing out what preventative measures should have been taken and what Bush should have done instead of eating cake, and why doesn’t The Left donate to relief funds? Oh, they are?
Go ahead and appropriate the Falwell scale for yourselves – spread the love! Maybe it’ll catch on, spread like a meme, and help to finally bring some public humiliation on the not very nice people who misappropriate religion to spread their own vile bigotry.
Jillian, Salon is reporting that the same group is responsible for the fetus AND Southern Decadence emails.
Jillian, Salon is reporting that the same group is responsible for the fetus AND Southern Decadence emails.
Wow, they’re a wingnuttery machine!
But what did the East German judge give it?
…
Sodomy and sin responsible for New Orleans hurricane?
All together now…
SADLY, NO!
… and yes, I know that the levees broke and eventually did do grevious harm to the entire city… but the hurricane itself didn’t seem to take much interest in specifics.
I’d like to hand Dr. BLT a sincere thank you for not falling for this “God’s wrath” BS. That’s certainly a refreshing attitude. I’m not claiming that a majority of right-leaning people would agree with Marcavage’s hateful assessment. A large number of them would say nothing about this irresponsible statement, or of asked specifically about it would weasel around and never quite condemn the faulty premise. So, again, a tip of the hat to the good Doctor.
Did you ever get so angry that you lose physical control, and you try to throw something at, say New Orleans, but your throw veers to the right and just scrapes New Orleans and you end up hitting the righteous people of Mississippi and Alabama instead.
I hate when that happens.
The woman who cut my hair today said something about the “hurricane” on the back of my head. I think she meant the cowlick that makes my hair somewhat unruly there. Since I’m not gay and I haven’t had an abortion, why does God hate my hair?
I’d like to hand Dr. BLT a sincere thank you for not falling for this “God’s wrath” BS.
I don’t fall for BLT’s maudlin crap for one second. So what if he doesn’t wish immediate death to fags because he rejects the idea they caused the disaster in New Orleans? He tacitly approves of a whole paradigm of thinking that, if carried too far, will end up with homosexuals being carted off to extermination camps in cattle cars.
That’s what I hate about American liberals; always being so freakin’ nice, when “nice” is not called for.
Mal de mer, as a canadian, did you notice that the Doctor and I are each from the wrong country?
Y’all are too polite to NOT applaud a guy like this at an open-mic… down here, we’re not.
Behold what all that civility and politeness has breed. You rotten… you stinking…. you maple leaf snrtlefargnel…. Monarchists!
😉
not you, of course.
Dr BLT,
I really want to tahkn you for your words here, even if we don’t agree philosophically. I know I mocked you earlier regarding writing just such a song, but to hear you come out against these types of absolute “crazy” people, gives me hope that at least there are even just a few sane conservatives left. If you keep this up for much longer, I may not be alble to muster the strength to continue to wrastle with you…. Nah, let us continue to have our fun and eat our cake too.
P.S.
Dr BLT, you go so far as to donate money to the Red Cross, and I may even cut you some slack in the future.
Yeah, you know…I think I was being a bit harsh. Dr. BLT, continue to put a big, warm, fuzzy, smilie face on fascism, religious fundamentalism, intolerance, disrespect for human rights and so on. What counts is that deep down you’re a good person, and God loves you, and everyone here recognises your inner goodness.
…besides, you and I both know, plucking THOSE pigeons is the easiest thing in the world, eh?…*shh*…that’s just between you and me.
Whaddaya know? A Christian Republican with a modicum of sanity! Kudos.
Marcavage, on the other hand? Could use a good bitch-slapping.
Um, if we’re going to implement Jillian’s disaster-magnitude scale — and by God, we should — the unit of measurement must be the Phelps.
I was thinking about the Phelps scale, Dan, but then I thought “Fred Phelps is already a parody of himself. Shouldn’t we parody someone new, someone fresh? Someone who, for some reason only known to God in Her infinite wisdom, many people still take seriously as a ‘Christian’ and a ‘good man’? Someone who would undoubtedly cry like a little girl if ever left alone in a room with a couple of pissed off queers for five minutes, yet is still able to get airtime for his bloated, pustule-ridden, pasty white girly-man ass every time he wants to spout off about how ‘effeminate’ gay men are?’
Mostly, I’m just appalled by the number of rational-seeming Americans who take the floating logs of creamy crap that are Messrs. Robertson and Falwell seriously. Anything I can do to help them lose esteem in America’s eyes is something I regard as my patriotic duty (despite being a hellbound Commie pinko, I still try to throw this lumbering American hulk of insanity a bone every now and then).
But I dig democracy. Whichever people think works best is fine by me – we could even customize it for each situation. Just no black box voting!
Mal, I’m not cutting BLT all that much slack-witness my comments in this thread about “Intelligent Design”. It’s the second comment from the bottom. And as jeff-perado notes, actions speak louder than words, so if BLT writes a song titled, “Gays Are Responsible For Everything Bad In The World,” or if it comes to light that he’s funding Repent America, I will certainly rescind any good will toward him. I think it’s not entirely bad policy to “reward” conservatives who don’t toe the line on hate speech or crazy-talk.
BTW, everybody, Pastor Swank has jumped on the Repent America bandwagon-in his usual, incoherent fashion, naturally. Fond as I am of Swanky’s unique prose style, he really is a fucktard.
BTW, everybody, Pastor Swank has jumped on the Repent America bandwagon-in his usual, incoherent fashion, naturally. Fond as I am of Swanky’s unique prose style, he really is a fucktard.
I was planning on writing about that today. Here’s my favorite line:
Now New Orleans is under water, bathing in sewage and devastation rather than providing downtown fountains for homosexual capers aplenty.
I dunno, Brad. This line is pretty good as well:
How very interesting that New Orleans, extending the welcome mat to sodomites, is now in need of prayer from the very God the perverts disdain.
By the way, I’m pretty sure New Orleans, beyond “extending the welcome mat,” also offered sodomites some coffee and cake. And showed them its vacation pictures.
One other thing about Swanky’s column. He writes with a generally approving tone about Repent America’s lunacy, but he never comes out and says he agrees with them. Every time he mentions the concept that God smote N.O. for playing footsie with gays, it’s as a quote or a reference to something RA said. I think the Swankster may have developed a little bit of media savvy. He’s left himself wiggle/deniability room.
I think it’s not entirely bad policy to “reward” conservatives who don’t toe the line on hate speech or crazy-talk.
Except even the nice ones go all frothing-at-the-mouth, forehead-vein-popping raving if you dare suggest gays deserve other things more humane than death…like civil marriage for instance. After the crap we just went through in Canada over the last year, with religious/conservative figures who I had come to believe were at peace with the religious/secular divide in our society who then became hate-filled raging lunatics (or sat quietly, while their comrades raged on), I no longer give these people any benefit of doubt.
Mal, I tend to agree with you except that:
“[…] But give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cause I think I’m better than you”
On occasion even our esteemed doctor gets something right, that doesn’t make him right, and I would never think that.
OOPS!! Did I just compare BLT to the Devil?? I need some opinions here, is a devil comparison better or worse than a Nazi/Hitler comparison, and thus did I just violate Godwin’s law?
If so, I concede defeat… Damn you Charley Daniels for ever writing that song!
Okay, so, I’m trying to grasp the thought processes of these brilliant theologians. If a meteor were to land on a gay pride parade in San Francisco tomorrow and at the same time hit Antarctica, what exactly would be the message from God? And when the tornados rip through the Bible Belt each year, for what are we being judged? And when grandmothers in wheelchairs are dying on the side of highways in Louisiana, for what are they being judged?
These people can take their hate, their shitty theology, and their sensational media whoredom and go to hell. They certainly don’t speak for me.
Mal de mer, a fellow Canadian? Well, if I’d have known that, I would have been even nicer to you. The country you describe doesn’t sound like the one I came from, but then again, you probably don’t come from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. We don’t hate conservatives on the prairies. We are those conservatives from the prairies that you love to hate. I thought you liberals were to have evolved to the point in which you no longer cling to stereotypes.
Jeff, was that an olive branch or a maple leaf you extended to me? With that last statement, you almost sounded as kind as some of the Canadians I grew up with on the prairies of Saskatchewan. I just hope that this doesn’t all collapse into one big love fest. Oh, I forgot, Mal de mer is in the mix. No, forget it. There’s no danger of that happening any time soon.
Shelly, Marq, with the two of you giving me the benefit of the doubt, you are threatening both my groupthink hypothesis about people who blog at Sadly, No! and my hypothesis that you’ve all been poisoned by the cyanide of cynicism. With all of this love coming my way, I’m about to say, “Yes, there is a God!” Coming to think of it, that’s something I’ve always believed, even in moments of doubt, skepticism, and, yes, cynicism.
As I pointed out in a different thread, Kyle, flooding a city that sits below sea level is pretty weak stuff for an omnipotent deity. People would be more impressed, more likely the get the message, if he flooded Denver.
Similarly, it’s hard to reconcile a loving God with the death and devastation wrought on innocents. If you’re omnipotent and planning to smite the city for hosting a gay fest, don’t you think you could focus on the folks who irked you and leave everyone else alone? Isn’t that part of being omnipotent? And if you’re a deity and your wrath is so overwhelming that you can’t distinguish between the source of your ire and the rest of your people, then maybe you need anger management counseling. (Note to God: You might look up Dr. BLT for some therapy sessions. I hear his rates are reasonable, plus he believes in you, and I would imagine you would get a little ego-boost out of that.)
Dan, you are a true philosopher, in the midst of wrestling with the big issues. The ostensible love of God, and the frequent, apparently cruel, random injustices dealt out by the ruthless hands of nature: Are these phenomena reconcilable? Tortured logic just doesn’t work. Asking God is often followed by painful periods of silence seemingly lasting an eternity. Human beings are the ones having trouble reconciling things. This creates internal conflict, often projected outward as external conflict. That’s why many of us think we need therapy. That’s why even shrinks like me often feel like we need to see shrinks. God seems to have no trouble reconciling seemingly contradictory natural and supernatural phenomena. That’s what happens when you’re all-knowing. Moreover, God seems to be OK with watching us struggle to reconcile these things, even watching our struggle turn to seemingly unbearable pain and suffering. Why I want to love such a God, and why I believe He loves you and me more than we can possibly imagine, is beyond me.
In other news, I just saw the Southern Decadence boys holding an impromptu parade through some of the dry sections of the French quarter. Not a big affair – just a dozen or so guys with a small jazz band and a couple of optimistic signs about how they’re sure New Orleans will be rebuilt. They said they were just trying to bring a little bit of joy to an otherwise miserable time.
Seems like FEMA uses God as their model of competence – neither can do anything right.
Sure,
When Noah built the ark losers like you laughed and
sang! What happened to them will soon happen to you!
If you live in Californication I recommend you leave the state!
Frk
Sure,
When Noah built the ark losers like you laughed and
sang! What happened to them will soon happen to you!
If you live in Californication I recommend you leave the state!
Frk
If Katrina was an example of god’s wrath against homosexuals, god must have really, REALLY shitty aim or was drunk off his ass, because he missed his target TWICE and smote quite a few of the wrong people. The gayest part of New Orleans escaped with little wind damage and no flooding to speak of… while block after block of pious, Jesus-loving black grandmothers drowned in their attics, bibles in hand, singing praises to his name. Hmmmmm…
Too bad katrina didn’t get all you faggots.