Dunce Dunce Revolution
Posted on February 8th, 2009 by Gavin M.
A Very Special Shorter Confederate Yankee:
- Having on other occasions mentioned the hoarding of firearms, I should like to assert that if the stimulus bill is not stopped according to our demands, then myself and unnamed others will likely be forced to declare war on America, fap-fap-fap ooh! [grabs tissue]
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Free corn!
do his “readers” realize that he’s calling them swine?
Can we have civil war II nao? And this time, just nuke the fucking shit out of the South??
Shouldn’t that be Scroffal?
Gomer’s metaphor, though exceedingly subtle, does not escape his astute readers:
Shorter entire nutzoid right-wing universe:
“Full-blown economic depression? Bring it on!!!!”
The multi-generational financial rape that Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and so many members of our Congress are trying to force down our throats—under increasing threats and ever-louder fear-mongering—is a betrayal of the core ideals of our Founding Fathers.
The financial industry and George Bush plundered America in quadrillions but don’t let this fact get in the way of Chickenhawk Yankee’s ever louder myth-making.
Dave Noon @ LGM picked up on the throat-rape theme in CY’s rhetoric (echoing Brent Bozell a few threads back):
To be charitable, it is conceivable that CY started by writing about wild pigs* and jumped to the force-feeding imagery because he is a townie and thinks that non-wild pigs are force-fed.**
* Visions of Hannibal running through his mind.
** Don’t try this at home.
The first comment is a true gem.
It’s so much fun being able to enjoy movement conservative stupidity again.
Speaking of abortions, totally not gay Steven Crowder has a hilarious new video. Well, I haven’t actually watched it, but I’m sure it’s just as hilarious as all his other videos.
It’s nice that he’s realised he’s a pig though.
My Right-Wing Dad ran this forward in October 2007. I imagine it was circulating before then, probably with alterations in the professor’s field. Sing it, ABBA.
Gomer is so cute. He was too big a coward to fight in Iraq, but now he’s gonna go shootin’ at random people he thinks are liberal?
When the revolution comes, Gomer will be the first under the bed.
What’s up next up for CY, So You Think You Can Dunce?
Crowder suggests:
Instead of calling them “liberals,” let’s call them “Baby-killing, family-destroying, self-serving, Tim Robbins-loving, Biden-muzzling, socialist jackasses.”
See how easy it can be to pull the old switcheroo?
Ah, yes – pull away. (Why does he call it a “switcheroo”?)
Why does he call it a “switcheroo”?
He’s using the incorrect Costanza definition.
Crowder’s “switcheroo” is like Zap Brannigan’s after snoo-snoo: “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”
I misread that as “Felching Pigs”. It didn’t seem out of place as a TIDOS Yankee post title.
Yet another in the never-tiring right wing series called “I Heard This Story One Time From An Exile from Communist Dictatorship Which Totally Proves My Dumbass Right Wing Opinions on Keeping America Shitty Are Morally Unquestionable.” Part # XLKJ0293485098LSLDKJR.
I always wonder where the hell his chin is. /shallow
Shorter entire wing-nutto-sphere:
fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap.
The multi-generational financial rape that Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and so many members of our Congress are trying to force down our throats—under increasing threats and ever-louder fear-mongering—is a betrayal of the core ideals of our Founding Fathers.
Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Adams, Franklin… they did not want a large and powerful government. They went to war against such a monstrosity, one that had strangled them with punitive taxation and oppressive government. The fought tooth and nail for to establish a free republic where Americans could enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ooh, that Obama, coming into power with a surplus and pissing it all away on beating up little countries and creating new governmental organizations with unconstitutional powers, both ostensibly to save us from some bogus existential threat. I shake my tiny fist at him!
Yep, I’m a stupid pig, not a humanoid, & I’m too blinded by free corn to notice that every day there’s another fence around the magic place where the pig chow shows up .
Maybe because my vision is considerably better than an oinker’s, maybe because I understand cause & effect.
Wankee & the other semi-literates who type among the great unwashed must be afraid their simple, easily-led base of tiny intellect & vast animal emotion will desert them once they get a taste at the gov’t. pap.
Confederate Yankee’s fambly.
I dunno. I don’t see CY’s family living in houses, exactly.
Maybe the good half of the family had a double-wide.
That’s right, kids, the 6 trillion bucks in debt that Georgie Bush racked up was rock-ribbed true-blue American freedom debt. This Hussein feller’s $800 billion, however, is communist and terrorist and will surely tear this nation apart.
You can’t be spending money to stave off economic disaster! It can only be used to enrich the super wealthy and blow up the brown people. It’s the American way.
Maybe, Bouffant, but the social discourse is about par.
Sandy Rios’ hair appears in that clip.
In its own right? As a separate character? That could give me flashbacks to old Zippy the Pinhead strips, where Loni Anderson’s disembodied hair used to make guest appearances.
All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!
Isn’t this the same tool who wrote that if Obama refused to reveal “the vault copy” of his birth certificate, patriotic Americans would have no choice but to assassinate him?
I hope he doesn’t play with guns for real. Not that I give a shit about him, but some innocent bystander might get hurt.
Time to put this oldie but goodie on the turntable.*
However, I must agree that having all of the knuckle dragging bigots crowded into the land of 110% humidity, kudzu and fire ants would be very good for America. Shit, I’d volunteer to build the 10′ thick, 50′ high razor wire-draped wall and patrol the fucking border.
*Whippersnappers and cheeky young apes who are wondering about this thing called a turntable should check The Googles.
Isn’t this the same tool who wrote that if Obama refused to reveal “the vault copy” of his birth certificate, patriotic Americans would have no choice but to assassinate him?
Possibly, but the sad thing is that I don’t think that would describe him uniquely.
I hope he doesn’t play with guns for real.
..on the other hand, given the evidence from his other skills, the odds of him removing himself from the gene pool might be temptingly high.
Time to put this oldie but goodie on the turntable.
That is awesome.
Btw, when are these confedwankeedoodiddlers who threaten to move to Gawgia ever going to move there? Promises promises. I suspect they keep putting it off because they’re afraid to find out it’s not 1860 down there anymore.
But without guns, how will he defend himself from the hurrycane that done broke his grill?
I will move to Georgia. The Red States are going to secede.
Does that mean we have to claim shit-holes like Oklahoma and Colorado? I’ll take the Okies, but white folks in Colorado are scary as hell. He does know there are not-white folks down here, too, right? Hell, Georgia’s full of ’em.
And can you imagine, the Red State South gets more federal money than the Blue North/West/Parts of The Middle per tax dollare and, if I recall correctly, there’s more federal employees at various fish hatcheries and whatnot. The fuck these people think we’re gonna go back to sharecroppin’. Fuck that noise.
However, I must agree that having all of the knuckle dragging bigots crowded into the land of 110% humidity, kudzu and fire ants would be very good for America.
And this time, just nuke the fucking shit out of the South??
Would this be before or after you found new homes and jobs for all the non-white Southerners? Or do they get nuked/have to deal with the now-dominant majority knuckledragger bigots without the intervention of Washington (since it worked so well before the Civil Rights movement and all)? How about all the gay people, ’cause brother, there’s a helluva lot of ’em in places like Atlanta and New Orleans? Or poor folks? Man we got a bunch of poor folks, you’d be amazed Or do the actual victims of bigotry and economic oppresion not really matter when it comes to punishing bigots and economic oppressors?
Ya know, funnin’ around and all, but I sometimes wonder if folks really follow their thoughts to the logical conclusions.
Why does B. Hussein Obama keeps shoving his pork down my throat?
“We stop the fencing today.”
He was never very good at the coup-fourré anyhow.
That pretty much describes the US-Mexico border. I am guessing though you approve of the millions flooding over that line. Too bad there is nothing like you picture on that line.
Two things. One, after the Second Secession – or as I like to call it, The Don’t Let The Border Hit Ya Where The Good Lord Split Ya of 2009 – those filthy Mexicans will be the Sooth’s problem. And let’s face it, you leave Texas on its own for six months, it’ll be fuckin’ Mad Max time, so no problem there.
Dos, the statement you quoted can’t describe the border and be lamentable for the fact that there’s nothing like is described on the border. That’s just friggin’ stupid.
Wanker Doofus blew his load
Posting on secession
Stuck a finger up his ass
As he savored the depression
Wanker Doofus fap fap fap
Wanker Doofus butthurt
Paid the bill for his charcoal grill
With a check from Gary Ruppert
The hilarious thing is that either they either ignored the returns after purging their bookmarks one by one or really do think America’s drowning under a tide of darkies; somehow every Southern state outside Appalachia moving blueward by around 10 points between ’04 and ’08 is obviously a hateful welfare lie.
Really, the main reason they threaten to move to Gawgia is that it’s the only state which is identifiably Southern and yet has a major metropolis which isn’t largely Hispanic. They’re real small-town Americans, as long as by “big town” you mean the Kanto Plain.
I think if we had a flaming river which could only be sated with the constant sacrifice of the purest of white infants he would whine because it was not radioactive.
And once it was, he’d whine about the radioactivity being from stupid technetium, which (as everyone knows) is a black element.
When McCain’s chief economic advisor suggested the current epic economy fail was because we were a nation of whiners, who could have guessed that he really was a third right?
Ya know, funnin’ around and all, but I sometimes wonder if folks really follow their thoughts to the logical conclusions.
Um, here’s a quick primer in Sadly, No!
1) Wingnut expresses stupid “idea”, preferably one which would obviously fail if put into practice, or has already failed (e.g. secession of Georgia from the Union)
2) ?
3) SadlyNaughts show, via irony, sarcasm, satire, exaggeration, etc. how said “idea” would rebound with hugely negative consequences on the wingnuts (e.g. Sherman’s March to the Sea, or modern-day equivalent)
(Nope, no “profit” here. Not in phase 3, or any other phase.)
Really, the main reason they threaten to move to Gawgia is that it’s the only state which is identifiably Southern and yet has a major metropolis which isn’t largely Hispanic.
‘Cause Atlanta’s full of black folks and gay folks. All the Latinos are spread out over North Georgia, usually on the outskirts of little towns. TIDOS Nitwit’s bunch of dingbats are in for an awful rude awakening. If I wanted nothing but honky, I’d look to someplace like maybe Vermont of Wyoming. Or Utah. I’m led to understand Utah is scarey white, like Village of the Damned crackers.
I never click over, so is this hogs/fence metaphor as bizarre as it seems?
So, who’s outside the fence? Who’s bringing the corn? Why corn and not cabbages? Is Bob a hog? What’s the fence made out of? Is the existence of the fence the point, or is it that the pen is getting smaller more important? Is this specific to America, or more generally about the human condition? Who made the fence? Can there be more than one fenced-in pen? Since this is a derivative of the slowly-boiled-frog, are there hogs outside the fence who could save the hogs from subjugation? Is America the fence or the hogs or the corn or the diabolical fence operators? What role do grills play in this high-concept literary device?
I can’t look at hovels and I can’t stand fences
And let’s face it, you leave Texas on its own for six months, it’ll be fuckin’ Mad Max time, so no problem there.
There are endless possibilities here for the US re-make of Doomsday.
Now you’ve gone and ruined it for the Ho. He loves scrapple. I hate the shit – excepting Saint Julia’s Uncle Hans’ City Scrapple which, as you might expect, is quite good – so I have no problem with the grafik. In fact, I hope this means I never have to have the stuff in my house again.
Finally, you do know that not that many folks even know what scrapple is, yes?
Ob. disclaimer: His white trash family hailed from Lancaster Co., PA.
…Vermont of Wyoming.
whoa! – that’s a very scary concept!
He’s uppity like that.
But how will the New CSA survive without all those dummycrat, tax-and-spend LIEbruls sending them billions of federal dollars every year?
I’m just sayin; turnips, YUM!
tensor,
Yes, I’ve never read or posted comments here before, have no idea what sarcasm or exageration for effect is nor how it’s used in politcal debate, and I totally don’t know they were just funnin’. I am a Southern, after all, therefore, incredibly stupid and have no actual point to make. Thanks for pointing all that out.
So. You have the South secede, either voluntarily or by force. Just the gay folks in Atlanta and New Orleans, whaddaya do with them? Forceable re-location? Invasions? ‘Cause you know if TDIOS Douchebag’s bunch get any sort of power, it’s gonna be a scary time for them that take their walks on the wild side.
Everytime some wingnut jackass starts yowling about how the Sooth is some grand, glorious thing, some peacenik, touchy-feely liberal wimp-boy goes all progressive and starts talking collective punishment, and it always ends there. Just the bigots get theirs and all is right in the world. I’m just curious to see folks run with the theme a bit. If you’re gonna hate, do it for more than two minutes, I say.
...is this hogs/fence metaphor as bizarre as it seems?
I think it should be investigated scientifically (stimulus permitting) with guinea pigs. Then maybe later we can move to Georgia for the full scale experiment.
somehow every Southern state outside Appalachia moving blueward by around 10 points between ‘04 and ‘08 is obviously a hateful welfare lie.
I was thinking about that, too. And while Atlanta may not be largely Hispanic yet, it’s not all Southern Belles wafting about on plantation porches, either. Those folks are bound to be disappointed, and I’d say I can’t wait to drink their delicious tears but I still have family there who’d have to put up with the CornFed Yankee types. Maybe the wankees could all move to Alaska instead?
Matt T. also plays bass, so there’s that.
Finally, you do know that not that many folks even know what scrapple is, yes?
Scrapple is chitlins from Pennsylvania, except not good.
And chitlins aren’t all that good, either, really. Especially once you’ve seen (and smelled) ’em being made. Nas-tee.
If these guys were evolving confederates, they’d move to Alaska.
Matt T. also plays bass, so there’s that.
Heard a good bass player joke somewhere, maybe even here. Band gets signed and is told by the slicker from the record company they’re getting a $50,000 signing bonus and $100,000 advance on their next record.
Lead singer thinks,”Man, think of all the girls I could get with that money.”
Lead guitarist thinks,”Man, think of all the gear I could get with that money.”
Drummer thinks,”Man, think of all the drugs I could get with that money.”
Bass player thinks, “C…D…G…Em…”
There’s something to be said for an area where eating a gelatinous particleboard steak made out of a hog’s face for a snack is the least terrifying thing people do.
In the absurdist political universe of the kulturkampfers, any politician who doesn’t want to gay-marry tax cuts only hangs onto power by promising the universally-black recipients of welfare and unemployment lots of money to be lazy and addicted to property-tax-lowering drugs – something they have complete control over, because the state offices of health and welfare in every town with a Subway is, in reality, a front operation for the NAACP to distribute holiday shiftlessness bonuses from their good lieges in Congress.
Needless to say, unlike the free market – in which freedom is achieved through marketers – this evil scheme is directly opposed to freedom, by which is obviously meant the freedom to own cheap AKs and light trucks; because those guns are a sure and true antidote to unfreedom, as the confiscatory whiteness tax is collected personally by frail, devious IRS Jews — and obviously nothing scares them more than machine-guns and gas.
This is all true because A is A, and all part of the eternal Constitution writ by the good wizard George Washington. So obviously, the grill is plucky little Poland.
Jeez, don’t they teach you anything in Liberal Bible College?
Gee, huge shocker that Troofy shows up in a thread bashing Bob Owens. Anyhoo, here’s Bumblin’ Bob:
And here’s Cornfed Wankoff on November 2, 2008:
Wankoff on October 31, 2008:
Heh indoozle. So, where I’m going with this is…boogity boogity, Bumblin’ Bob, you don’t scare anyone.
Tell me what the hugely negative consquences would be.
White people might lost their oppressed minority status, get in power and be able to walk the streets without fear, which has never, ever happened, and must be avoided at all costs. Hell, the president’s a black guy, fer cryin’ out loud! Justice for the ofay!
Is that right? What do I win?
“People should be treated equally, regardless of their racial or ethnic background.”
Read Phase One again; it requires a wingnut idea, not a liberal idea. In case you haven’t noticed, your ciited dea was vehemently opposed, for decades, by the ancestors of modern wingnuts. (The National Review opposed racial equality.) Try a wingnut idea, like “markets function well without regulation,” or “let’s build a border fence along one of the longest accessible frontiers in the entire world,” and we’ll have no trouble tearing it to shreds.
“Finally, you do know that not that many folks even know what scrapple is, yes?”
I didn’t know, I’m from Minnesota, so I looked it up:
I’ll pass. That makes even lutefisk look…. ok, no it doesn’t, but almost.
Irony is, I recall a few “Christian neighborhood” type deals, where covenant enforcement wouldn’t be making you dig up a rosebush, but bringing back the stocks.
And yet, no one moved there, and you never heard from that particular scheme again.
I think there’s a lesson there, if this is going to be an educational site.
Matt,
The “we’ll secede from your liberal gay Abortistan,” is just a long-winded and tedious version of “we’ll take our ball and go home!” Our “nuke the South” rejoinder simply points out that (a) we won’t miss them, esp. since (b) we tend to pay for the ball anyway. It never goes any further because there’s no point in doing so.
He never actually says what exactly fighting communists and getting shot in the back, has to do with knowing the parable of fencing pigs.
From the comments :
(& this is #56,785th time I’ve seen or heard likewise -*sigh*)
I will move to Georgia. The Red States are going to secede. I have no question, myself. It will be good for America – the free America that will be the new nation. If you think about it logically rather than emotionally (in attachment to the 50 state USA), it’s a wonderful solution. We can once again be a conservative nation and have free enterprise, prosper, succeed, be free of abortion, homosexual rights legislations, etc.
Of course , Red States = Welfare States (collectively)
“Conservative” is easier to do when we leftist-pinko-socialists in NY,NJ,Taxachussetts, Ka-lee-fornia, etc pay for your wingnut ass . Never occurs to them that “liberal” policies in the places they don’t like , might be responsible for the higher educational levels, higher income levels, and lower crime rates that make it possible.
It never goes any further because there’s no point in doing so.
Well, I think it should.I think folks should work out the logical consequences of their thoughts, especially on the whole “fuck the South” idea and especially from people who are supposed to be all about helping out everyone, not just those who’re ideological correct. Just ’cause wingnuts are assholes don’t mean acting like them’s okay. It’s petulant, whiny bullshit, but that’s their stock in trade. You wanna act like a wingnut, I’m gonna make fun of you.
And again, thanks for explaining things to me. I had no idea, dumbass hick that I am. I actually thought the “nuke the South” stuff wasn’t just typical American chest-thumping, shut-the-brain-off bullshit. Silly me. Now, I must go get Mee-Maw out of the see-ment pond before she leaves a ring. Hyuck Hyuck.
Because racial inequalities and divisons that took centuries to develop don’t just instantly go away when you say “You’re right! Racism is bad! Oh well, tell you what, everyone’s equal starting… NOW.” and then five minutes later going “Hey, what are you tryin’ to pull here with that (whatever program)?? We SAID everyone was equal, didn’t we? We SAID racism was bad! What do you people want?!”
My idea is “People should be treated equally, regardless of their racial or ethnic background.” So no affirmative action, special marches for assaulters of one race, hate crimes reported only one way, and so on.
No matter how many times I see this, it never fails to astonish. Bigots always bitch and moan about how the people they hate have it made, get all the breaks, special treatment, blah blah barf. (See: Limbaugh, Rush and Donavan McNabb)
We SAID everyone was equal, didn’t we? We SAID racism was bad! What do you people want?!”
“We gave all of you a holiday and a street? Black people are just never happy. I bet it’s because the low-slung pants irritate their bottoms and that damned hippity-hop drives ’em crazy.”
Where is the conservative movement to get Alabama, Alaska, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Montana, et al, to refuse to take all these federal government subsidies?
People should always have enough to eat.
So let’s stop with this food stamp and free school lunch nonsense!
Hate crimes: because punishing people for thoughts is evil and and also blacks should be punished for doing them too.
Five-year-olds need a hand up, not a handout.
Also, you know they’ll just spend it all on drugs.
I’ll pass. That makes even lutefisk look…. ok, no it doesn’t, but almost.
The Wikipedia entry on Head cheese (brawn) informs me that in Iceland,
Sviðasulta is a form of head cheese, made from svið, fermented sheep’s brain and offal, or singed lamb’s head, sometimes cured in lactic acid.
The Germans are not all smiles and sunshine.
Around Philly, they mixed pork head meat with flour and called it food: Scrapple or Souse
Around Cincinnati, they mixed pork head meat with oats and called it food: Goetta
The pork face format I grew up with was called Head Cheese
I always thought Head Cheese was a marvelous name for a band.
Google Translate tells me the French translation of “Head Cheese” is fromage de tête. Discuss.
A more accurate translation probably would be pâté de cervelle.
Although some things probably are better left untranslated.
It’s time for your meds, dear – then we’ll have a nice rest and watch the “news”.
Although some things probably are better left un
translatedeaten.In my Ukrainian travels I saw a commercial for an upset-stomach recipe in which, after the end of a family Easter feast, son-who-went-to-the-big-city assures everyone he’ll be fine because he’s got said remedy. Dad goes “Ahhh, holodetz!” and loads him up with another helping of disgusting jellied meat crap.
Does this translate into free bacon somehow?
Google Translate tells me the French translation of “Head Cheese” is fromage de tête. Discuss.
Wikipedia again: In France, head-cheese is…
Referred to as fromage de tête, tête fromagée (which translates as “cheesed head”) or pâté de tête.
The fact that in French, ‘to cheese’ is a (transitive) verb tells us all we need to know about their culture.
I happen to be in Georgia right now, and you’d be surprised how many gay, artsy and liberal folks I’ve been seeing.
As long as there’s an imperative – “Cheese!”
what culture could be without it?
In my Ukrainian travels I saw a commercial for an upset-stomach recipe
I tend to blame the Fuckbum more than the Haladetz.
So it seems that the latest instructions to wingnuts coming over the airwaves include calling out Preznit Hussein X on his fear-mongering for making a minor economic blip seem like an impending disaster.
Who said wingnuts didn’t do irony?
Wanna know what’s even worse than faking a new Great Depression? Government-paid-for sex change operations!!11!
While grasping after the ineffable heart of Hogs vs. Fences I found this:
The implications are staggering. CHECK THE KERNING!!
That was the condom commercial and the dad was considerably more menacing.
I’m led to understand Utah is scarey white, like Village of the Damned crackers.
Pretty much. Salt Lake City is “only” 80% white and rather more cosmopolitan than people think. The rest of the state, yup, lily white. But it’s mostly in the south end of the state where you find the really insane shit like Warren Jeffs and his merry band.
From RWS’ link—
Too bad he can’t get an ass transplant, seeing as he’s ruined his by talking out of it.
(I posted that over there but the bastard has moderated comments!)
it is probably safe to assume that the German taxpayer paid for such an operation
Time to close the Bimler Research Laboratory and replace it with the Bimler Probably-Safe Assumptions Laboratory.
And don’t forget all those dang liberals quitting their jobs just to back him up.
Just expand it: The New and Improved Bimler Probably-Safe Assumptions Research Laboratory, now with even more head cheese!
From the particularly dim right wingers file: Roy posted a link to Wizbang, which calls Will Ferrell’s new one-man Bush show a “farse”.
You think I’m making this up. Oh, and you think I’m making this up.
But it’s mostly in the south end of the state where you find the really insane shit like Warren Jeffs and his merry band.
IIRC, he was at the very south end. As in, literally straddling the Arizona border. This was no accident; cult chieftains or elders or whatever they are could evade authorities by stepping over the state line.
It’s too bad the merry band seems to be mostly getting away with it. Again. At least Jeffs himself is safely locked up.
Roy posted a link to Wizbang, which calls Will Ferrell’s new one-man Bush show a “farse”.
Heh. Couldn’t even get through two sentences without going Godwin. Nice.
Don’t they have something in Iceland that’s even nastier than that?
Ah yes, hákarl.
I wonder, though, is it harder to get used to then Bjork?
than, DAMNIT
The fact that in French, ‘to cheese’ is a (transitive) verb tells us all we need to know about their culture.
It’s a verb here, too. Or it was. “Cheese it!” used to mean “time to trot.”
But I guess that was intransitive.
Roy posted a link to Wizbang, which calls Will Ferrell’s new one-man Bush show a “farse”.
“Farse: An addition to, or a paraphrase of, some part of the Latin service in the vernacular.”
That Ferrell never ceases to surprise.
On account of us in NZ living in the future, I am able to inform you that tomorrow’s Dilbert strip will involve rabid badgers.
Will Ferrell is doing a one man Bush show in Latin?
Can anyone tell?
I’m really trying to be wry about this, but I find myself failing. Transphobes are a violent lot, and compared to the rest of the abbreviation they enjoy a lot of implicit social support and tend to be far more openly sexual about it.
There’s nothing particularly funny to say about rooting for rape and murder because someone strikes you as weird. I can’t even be motivated to do my German impression; it’s just too fucking foul.
Around Philly, they mixed pork head meat with flour and called it food: Scrapple or Souse
This past summer, Ho was in Philly on bidness. He searched out some authentic Amish scrapple and bought two one-pound loaves to bring home. The TSA people at Philly Int’l. pulled him aside to see what kind of explosives he had in his carry-on. He proudly showed them the loaves, each tightly wrapped in plastic. The TSA guy smiled and said “Good thing this is Philly. You’d never be allowed to take that on a plane anywhere but here. “
I can only accept this one-man show if it involves a flight suit with a cod big enough to hold another, smaller man.
Roy posted a link to Wizbang, which calls Will Ferrell’s new one-man Bush show a “farse”.
Will Ferrell is doing a one man Bush show in Latin?
Maybe it’s Farsi?
Quelle drama queen.
MattT:
‘Cause Atlanta’s full of black folks and gay folks.
A gal I know told me her ex-hubby was gay, and I asked how she found out, and she said it was when he moved to Atlanta after the divorce. She wasn’t kidding, either..
What the hell is Jesus smoking these days? The rate he’s going he’d make Salvador Dali cry.
CY is vigorously flailing his way to total irrelevance, as the whopping FOUR comments on “Fenced Pigs” illustrates nicely. I’d gladly make it five if I wasn’t banned for my pathological commitment to lucidity.
The fantasy of a seperate South assumes that the majority of folks already there wouldn’t promptly beat their sorry asses down hard the moment they tried to get such a “Revolution” off the ground – that premise smells mighty dubious to me.
A few (VERY few) of the neo-secessionists will erect their own little rural utopian Shangri-La in the boondocks (LOL, communes) – until they run out of both supplies & mommy & daddy’s money – & then quietly move back to Babylon & pretend nothing happened … & the rest will snivel & do jack, much to the entertainment of everyone else.
John Galt was a scat-muncher – pass it on.
Oh, Ferrell goes further than that: an exhibition of the Phormer Phirst Phallus is one of the “high points” of the show — so much so that a few theatregoers are storming out in high dudgeon:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/07/theater/07final.html?_r=1&ref=theater
Naturally, I first read it as “the owner of the penis’s spokesman.”
I have used someone’s penis in an unauthorized way and I highly recommend it.
John Galt was a mama’s boy.
You and Dali had better make it or Sport’ll get mad.
Seems to me the only way Bush could correct the record would be to show his own penis instead.
eewwww
After reviewing this thread I’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that eight years of BushRule has completely depleted America’s Troll Supply.
Le Sigh.
For Heaven’s sake, trolls don’t need stimulus.
I suspect Bob and T. McVeigh would enjoy each other’s company.
Many purveyors of wetsuits, dildos and full sized cardboard cutouts of George Bush would disagree my dear WereBear.
Oh, I’m sorry, were you planning to eat this month?
Thanks, Arky, but that plan already went out the window with the mention of George Bush’s sixty three year old penis.
I can only accept this one-man show if it involves a flight suit with a cod big enough to hold another, smaller man.
No doubt “cod” = “codpiece”
However I cannot shake the image of a fish wearing the suit with some dude in its mouth.
OK, Open Border, let’s play. The game is called “Let’s Make a Political Deal.” Your side gets something you want, in exchange for my side getting something we want.
For example, how about this: an end to all hate crime laws, in exchange for an end to the death penalty. Deal?
How about: a flat income tax system, in exchange for universal, single payer nationalized health care. Deal?
How about: an end to all affirmative action rules in all 50 states, in exchange for same sex marriage in all 50 states. Deal?
How about: churches continue to be tax exempt and protected from lawsuits for “hate speech”, but must completely refrain from political activity of any kind whatsoever. Deal?
Instead of both sides not getting something they want, how about both sides getting something they want? A fair exchange. Tit for tat. A win-win situation, if you get my meaning.
Would you make such a deal? How about proposing some of your own “ideas”. Like, what would you give in exchange for the end of affirmative action laws?
Let’s play!
Now let’s call on white people to do right!
Okie dokie. White people! Do right!
That wasn’t so hard.
Do not poke the ogre w/ sharp or dull sticks.It only makes the stench worse.
Those poor, poor McCain voters, forced – probably with the threat of violence, you know how “those people” are – to vote for Prop 8. I mean, they really had no choice but to fully support the measure that they probably wouldn’t have even thought of voting for or support in a million years, did they? Why, I wouldn’t be surprosed if some of “those people” forced the Mormon church to pour in hundreds of thousands of dollars of misleading ads to support Prop 8 and then lie about how much they spent. Really, right-wing conservatives love the idea of gay marriage and progressive income taxation and nationalized health care; it’s just the fear of a black hat that keeps them voting against such things each and every time.
White people are nothing but slaves under the darkie horde, bless their little honky hearts. Poor things. Poor, poor things.
Stop whining. Okay? If the Big Boss taxes the blood from your veins, and the closest thing you have to representation is a House Majority Leader who hasn’t suffered a public debate in twenty years, just shut up, okay? It could be worse.
A standing army living in your midst? That’s not a bug, it’s a feature. Every single overseas base makes you safer — definitely safer than domestic bases full of spousal abuse, violent crime, usury, food-stamp poverty and thriving divorce law practices. How could social order possibly break down in the first place? And if it did, what, you don’t have a National Guard, military reserves, things like that? Boo hoo, titty babies.
We mentioned this, but it’s worth repeating: every square inch of the USA is fully and totally represented by at least two representatives in… the place that isn’t anything… you know, the actual acreage where the Capitol and White House are. Three-fifths territory, if you know what I mean. But everyone else has a representative, and pays taxes, and fair is fair so shut the hell up. Taxation + representation = paradise.
When in the course of human affairs 99.9% of the people are structurally boned over by the other 0.1%, well, responsible media outlets and governmental representatives will sound the alarm and the situation will fix itself. Until then, shut up. Seriously, don’t say a word, no matter what happens. The situation is under control.
By the way, all firearms should be rationed out to one per registered voter and locked away safely at the local police station. If laser-guided missiles or armor-plated artillery tractors are invented, all citizens will surrender their firearms because why not. Certainly they pose no threat. We, the Founding Fathers who whipped Great Britain twice in a row, don’t believe there’s any point in armed resistance against a well-armed superior adversary. Best just to part your butt cheeks and wait for the trouble to end.
Japanese culture, for one. I believe they never had a cheese making tradition (they fermented bean curd – tofu – instead of milk.) But most Japanese wonder how the gajin can like to eat spoiled milk, much like many westerners think raw fish is yucky.
Hint: do NOT try the pizza in Japan. Just don’t.
do NOT try the pizza in Japan.
unagi deepdish? mmm.
But most Japanese wonder how the gajin can like to eat spoiled milk, much like many westerners think raw fish is yucky.
Well, a wise man once told me that one man’s sushi is another man’s fish bait.
Troofus bitched:
White people: Do what’s right.
Oh nooooooooooooooo!
You still don’t seem to realize that the only people who give a shit about the Reverend Lowery’s remarks are the usual suspects: Clown Hall, the Korner, Glenn Reynolds, and your pal Wankee. So gee, I’m so shocked that racists and crybabies didn’t like the words of a civil rights veteran.
You need to get laid.
I realize that – I never made any claim otherwise. Now think about this: the number of people that would fight tooth and nail to preserve affirmative action laws is dwarfed by the number of bible belt fundies that would never, never give in to same-sex marriage. Because no one on the Left is claiming that affirmative action is the holy, unalterable word of God. No one on the Left thinks that affirmative action is the way things must be forever; the debate is merely over whether or not it is still needed now.
If you’re honest, you will see that convincing the Left to take such deals would be a vastly easier sell than convincing the Right. Far from it. Think about it…
That’s nice. By the way, the voting group you’ve so hilariously aligned yourself with- old, uneducated, bitter, Southern whites- are a dying breed. Mostly because, as I said before, you need to get laid.
Also:
But most Japanese wonder how the gajin can like to eat spoiled milk, much like many westerners think raw fish is yucky.
Since Westerners invented sucking the heads on crawfish, Westerners probably should shut the fuck up.
Mostly because, as I said before, you need to get laid.
I don’t think that’s fair. I need to get laid, but you don’t see me going around and acting like a petulent racist doodyhead, now do you?
True. Troofus’ frustration over Obama’s electoral victory (bookmark that, cool guy) is almost entirely sexual in nature. It’s equal parts sad, bizarre, and hilarious. Pretty soon he’s going to be clutching his pearls and squealing only about black men having relations with our pristine white women.
Seriously, Troofus, get out of the fucking house.
Pretty soon he’s going to be clutching his pearls and squealing only about black men having relations with our pristine white women.
Nah, that’s not it. I think he’s just jealous, and I don’t blame him. Michelle Obama is a fine figure of a First Lady. Had Obama lost, he wouldn’t have to face the prospect of four years of seeing this untouchable woman dangled in front of him, he could’ve moved on. But no, blacks and black-loving liberals who only voted for Obama out of fear of the black man conspired to keep the object of his desire in the national spotlight, always taunting, always out of reach.
That’s why he brought up the whole “Michelle Obama hates whitey” thing so much. If she hated him, then he could make himself not love her. It’s tragic, really.
No, wait. Funny. It’s funny.
One of America’s best conservative blogs–no, really, it was nominated so it must be one of the best–just posted this sweet post about the Michael Steele leak:
“[more sarcasm]I’ll be interested in reading the outrage that is certain to come from Scott Horton of Harper’s and Glenn Greenwald of Salon.com. After all, Messrs. Horton and Greenwald have been the champions of a Justice Department above partisan bias these last years; surely they will object to this barely veiled cheap shot.[/more sarcasm]
The US Attorney who committed this “error” must be fired immediately. This is an unconscionable act, and unlike the piddling nonsense touted by the hypocrites of the Democratic party, a genuine politicizing of justice…”
And then Mr. Scott Horton posted the single comment, so far: “Rod J. Rosenstein, who is the U.S. Attorney handling the criminal probe in which Mr. Steele has become enmeshed peripherally, is a Federalist Society member and former clerk to Judge Douglas Ginsburg who was appointed by President George W. Bush. No Obama U.S. Attorney nominees have yet even been put forward.”
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=3051#comments
My, my. This ought to be amusing.
We, the Founding Fathers who whipped Great Britain twice in a row
bullshit, the second one was a draw, and we burned down yer seat of government to boot…..
The Permanent Majority: a play in one act.
How do you comment on CY’s site? There doesn’t seem to be a “register” option, but there doesn’t seem to be a comment button on the main post.
There was another drooling ninny who did the big speech about not bowing down to the not-President last week. Three weeks in and it’s wig-out time for these goons, they’ll disappear up their own arseholes before the first 4 years are done.
Maybe I just don’t remember it right, but I don’t think there was this kind of psychotic meltdown by the usual suspects on the Left just three weeks into Bush’s first term. Not even close. There weren’t any blogs back then, but I used to post to Usenet’s alt.impeach.clinton newsgroup in those days, where the arguments between Left and Right were hot and heavy, and I don’t remember anything like this on the Left. Sure, people were upset, but mostly at the SCOTUS. We were upset by the way Bush got
selected, but there wasn’t any of this kind of nasty insanity on the Left in 2000. Am I wrong?Japanese culture, for one. I believe they never had a cheese making tradition (they fermented bean curd – tofu – instead of milk.) But most Japanese wonder how the gajin can like to eat spoiled milk, much like many westerners think raw fish is yucky.
Hint: do NOT try the pizza in Japan. Just don’t.
They make cheese in Hokkaido and Kobe is known for its cream cheese (as well as its steak).
There’s a fermented bean curd dish called “natto” that is about as disgusting a foodstuff as I’ve seen here – which is saying a lot.
The main reason not to eat the pizza in Japan is because of the insane prices that they charge. I’ve got a flyer in front of me for a place called Pizza-la. A medium pizza costs 2,460 Yen and a large is 3,420 Yen. That’s $26.88 and $37.36 US respectively. And they’re on the small side too.
There really isn’t anything too disgusting being offered though. Mayonnaise, squid, penne pasta, a raw egg and corn, always corn.
You can have a look for yourself at pizza-la.co.jp.
There’s a fermented bean curd dish called “natto” that is about as disgusting a foodstuff as I’ve seen here – which is saying a lot.
Steve, Don’t Eat It! tells us:
Isn’t the exchange rate kept low by a number of deliberate and unintentional factors and unrepresentative of what X number of yen actually buy in day-to-day use? $37 is extreme but $26 sounds about par for the course for something Americans might pay $12 for.
That and there’s the difference in consumer expectations at work: pizza is a foreign food in Japan, so in addition to there being no canonical list of ingredients and only an extremely vague sense of what actually makes it what it is, it’s accepted that you pay good money for it. I don’t imagine sushi is anywhere near as diverse or expensive there, even without taking the intentionally weak yen into account.
Good point. When Winston was over here during that ugly mess between two branches of German nobility that turned into a continental slaughterhouse, he was wandering around alone as usual, and passed a ready room where a couple of Marines were bullshitting. One of them, obviously an NCO, said “All right, just keep an eye on these characters. Last time they were here they burned the damn building down.”
In later years, this was one of his favorite stories to tell over and over. Sort of like “in the morning, I will be sober” except in reverse.
You don’t remember it right. The din from the leftist moonbats was deafening, and it included, if you recall, a sitting Vice President deliberately undermining the public’s confidence in the voting process in a futile attempt to change the outcome of an election he knew he had lost. I also recall very clearly visiting a site called “Bushlies.com” well before George Bush took office, and obtaining great amusement observing the sorts of things leftists called “lies”: things like “He changed his position regarding abortion at some point within the past 20 years” and “He disagrees with CLEAR EVIDENCE that his position is wrong.” Phrases like “frat boy” and “chimpy” were common among leftist posts in those days. By contrast, the right’s reaction to Obama is substantial and well-argued.
A shitload of them was in the South. And rather than try to hide that, as a liberal Southerner I continually trumpet the smackdown my dumbass right wing white neighbors just got. Smack! Smack! Smack!
Thanks for proving my point, Troofus.
Obama won the election.
The GOP is toast.
I will move to Georgia. The Red States are going to secede.
Someone’s going to have serious problems with Buford Highway.
Oh puleeez, Bob! Declare war on America so we can throw your sorry treasonous ass into Gitmo!
Look at my namesake, the mediocre student and professional affirmative action officer, to see just how fundamental the idea of special race-based treatment is to liberals.
*YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN*
Pie anyone?
Most white people will never vote for a black man.
Hoping white people will “do right” is just about the most racist thing in the world.
I had a chinn but I eated it.
Really, the main reason they threaten to move to Gawgia is that it’s the only state which is identifiably Southern and yet has a major metropolis which isn’t largely Hispanic.
Alec, hop into my car. Gonna take you for a ride down Buford Highway.
Ha! Plumb Bob Wrongpants is funny. Here’s how he updates his post after being corrected by Scott Horton:
Emphasis mine.
Probably a conservative? And what can Wrongpants possibly mean by “if it’s true?” He must not have the google on his internets. Best of all is how he shifts accusations and accusees from “overt malfeasance” by a fictitious Obama appointee to “covert opportunism” by, well, who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares? Premise of the original story blown out of the water? So what? I’ll just make some more shit up. An honest person and one with a lower embarrassment threshold would be horrified and reflect on how he could have fucked up so badly and determine not to make the same mistake again. If not ever, at least not in the update. But not Wrongpants, he’s ready, assumption, he’s ready, assumption.
Also.
…An honest person and one with a lower embarrassment threshold would be horrified and reflect on how he could have fucked up so badly and determine not to make the same mistake again…
Whoa! Plumbbob posted a comment on Sadlyno. Oh, sweet baby flying spaghetti monster, what a coup for the Sadlies! Now is the time to correct past wrongs and bow down and acknowledge one of America’s very best conservative bloggers.
Plumbbob’s the most _rational_ conservative blogger. He’s the most logical conservative commentator since Rosemary’s baby. 360 degree head spins? Yup? The ability to projectile vomit. Check. An deep connection to the living dead? That too.
Even this bit “I also recall very clearly visiting a site called “Bushlies.com” is a lovely example of Plumbbob logic. Ahem, http://www.bushlies.com went live in October 2003. (Hey, what’s the google got to with conservative logic?)
Sadly, even though Plumbbob is starting to be recognized as one of America’s best conservative blogs, I do feel sorry for him. Remember during the 80s when John Birchers only read Spotlight and said “Na, na, na. I don’t hear you!” to everything else? Well, ole Plumbbob lives on a diet of Hot Air, Coulter, David(!) Limbaugh, Krauthammer, and Capt. Ed. He’s doesn’t even have to say “I don’t hear you!” because he so full of “Na, na, na!” Raised by wolves? Um, yes.
Here’s Plumbbob on Horton: “Horton is the demented moonbat who insists there was a Rove-inspired plot to smear former Alabama governor Don Siegelman executed three years after Siegelman left the state house. I don’t expect either accuracy or honesty from him.”
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=2947#comments
And just in case you haven’t been following the masterful Plumbbob, here’s an old classic (complete with hilarious comments and a note from the Master to the Sadlies!) that sure looks like a violation of the PATRIOT act, among other things:
“It is time for ordinary citizens to begin organizing our defense.
I’m interested in hearing from any individual who wants to work toward any one of the following:
* prosecution or class action lawsuit against Progressives involved in a nationwide criminal conspiracy;
* mass exodus to some state or group of states with the purpose of seceding from the union;
* arming and organizing ourselves for deliberate overthrow of the government, if that becomes necessary for our security.
Those are desperate measures, but these are desperate times. At the very least, we must begin organizing for our defense.”
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=1751
David(!) Limbaugh
Things are bad when you take your marching orders from the lesser brother of the worst pundit in America.
The New and Improved Bimler Probably-Safe Assumptions Research Laboratory, now with even more head cheese!
Come to think of it, it’ll be the Bimler Research Suppository.
…Bimler Research Suppository…
Would you like witch hazel wipes with your order?
According to my brother, Atlanta is filled with the ‘gayside gangsters’ young black men who have fun being hood, and apparently, hit on him all the time. Now, this is just my brother’s report, but there should be at least one or two gay people in Atlanta. I took gay history there.
Yes, Shannon, there are gay people in Atlanta:
http://atlanta.gaycities.com/
They even have their own rodeo:
http://www.georgiagayrodeo.com/hosthotel.html
A gay friend of mine who moved there from San Fran many years ago (to get away from the “gay ghetto”) lives in Buckhead, a fairly upscale, very gay neighborhood of Atlanta. Fans of TIDOS Yankee, beware!
Q: How many straight Buckhead (upscale district in Atlanta) waiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Both of them.
I live in Atlanta. Lots of GLBTQetc. residents, lots of Latinos.
I married me one’a them Latinas. Now Confuzzlement Wankee is prolly gonna demand to see her green card.
I’m a wild piiiig.
So, lemme get this straight: the wild piggies eat the “free corn” as opposed to the corn they would have purchased with the wages from their non-union-in-the-wild jobs? If they had been eating corn for which they had paid the big bucks, then they wouldn’t have been tricked by the fencing? And who, exactly, would be selling the wild piggies this corn?
You know what would solve this problem? Tax cuts! Tax cuts solve everything!
The back-shootin commies would not feed corn to pigs. They would sell it to ethanol production facilities and make much more money.
Isn’t the exchange rate kept low by a number of deliberate and unintentional factors and unrepresentative of what X number of yen actually buy in day-to-day use? $37 is extreme but $26 sounds about par for the course for something Americans might pay $12 for.
That and there’s the difference in consumer expectations at work: pizza is a foreign food in Japan, so in addition to there being no canonical list of ingredients and only an extremely vague sense of what actually makes it what it is, it’s accepted that you pay good money for it. I don’t imagine sushi is anywhere near as diverse or expensive there, even without taking the intentionally weak yen into account.
The exchange rate has actually tipped heavily in the yen’s favor recently, much to Japan’s chagrin (since they’re a largely exporting country). They also do some funky “revaluing of the yen” every few decades to keep America happy. Yeah I said it.
And Japanese pizza is different from American pizza in the same way that American pizza is different from Italian pizza, or American Chinese food from Chinese Chinese food. Every culture has its own tastes, and the foods conform to fit that taste. It’s pretty easy to get used to corn and squid on pizza, IMHO. (And you’ll spend a lifetime looking for Cajun Chicken at a Subway that is breaded, or a teriyaki burger at McDonald’s). Natto is the most gag-worthy substance I’ve ever encountered, but a body can get used to anything, as the saying goes.
Sushi is MORE diverse over there, because they actually have more than two fish.
Kinda OT now but the greatest Plumbbob moment of 2009, so far, is not when he gets dusted by Horton but this:
“There’s something afoot in the culture that’s deliberately unmaking Western civilization. We think it’s satanic. Whatever that is, whenever somebody good decides to champion goodness in some effective way, the demons jump on it immediately as hard as they can to try to stifle it.
It reminds me of a silly game at the arcade called Whac-A-Mole, where the player stands in front of a board with holes in it and a soft, black mallet in his hand, and smacks anything that pops its head up. Pop your head up and start saying “We shouldn’t cuss,” and Wham! down comes the mallet. “What gays do isn’t marriage.” Wham! “We shouldn’t murder our children.” Wham! “Our culture’s sexuality is out of control.” Wham!”
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=2929
And that’s in the context of a post about the heralded No-Cussing Club. Lovely stuff. Makes the Sadlies look like pikers.
Since Westerners invented
sucking the heads on crawfishan attempt to make a SELLING-POINT out of government use of torture as official 21st-Century public policy, Westerners probably should shut the fuck up.ftfy
It’s actually been nice watching my yen savings grow in value (to counter my mutual funds back home swirling around the bowl).
I agree. That’s why the main thing going against Japanese pizza is that the cost is out of whack with other/better food. Although, I really dislike whatever it is that they put on the pizza and call “sausage”.
My girlfriend loves this shit. I’ve got it in my fridge right now and just the thought makes me shiver.
More diverse and with a pretty stunning range in price. They don’t have all of those funky rolls and stuff that you usually get in North America though (at least, I haven’t seen them anywhere). I still have to try the deadly Fugu. “Poison…poison…tasty fish!”
Also, I have learned that sashimi isn’t necessarily raw fish. Sashimi is any meat sliced thin and served raw. Chicken sashimi, horse sashimi. Given a life or death choice between horse sashimi and natto… it would be a tough choice.
Natto isn’t bean curd… it’s fermented soybean pods.
Cheese (and widespread eating of mammals) came to Japan after Perry. In the countryside cheese is still seen as something foul, and ot fit for people to eat.
Horse is better than natto, even raw; a la carpaccio.
As for the War of 1812, we lost. Apart from the Constitutions battles with the Java and… damn, I forget, and the Battle of Lake Erie, we got our butt handed to us in every major campaign we tried (the British came down from Canada and burnt the Executive Mansion [not our seat of Gov’t, merely where the president lived; usually misrepresented as the White House in textbooks) because we invaded them, and failed.
We assumed, among other things, the Canadians would be happy we came to “free” them from Britain.
The Battle of New Orleans was too late (and too inconsequential) to affect anything. Not least was that defeating the British there didn’t really affect the situation elsewhere (most certainly not on the seas, which was both the cause of the war, and the real cockpit).