I’m just doing my part to make sure that from now until the day he dies, he will be remembered as Max “Earthquake Ray” Boot.

Good luck with that. I’ve forgotten about him already.

Jillian: To be honest, this isn’t just Max’s declaration of wily Chinee death tremor machines, but an actual scientific hypothesis backed up with data and research; Sichuan is a seismically active area, there are many dams in the area that can effect the geological character of the area, and there have been some small earthquakes caused by water weight near dams before, so this isn’t totally unheard of. The NY Times has an article about the hypothesis here.

Earthquake Ray kicks Rachel Ray’s behind.

Just wait until you see his pulled chicken sandwich recipe!

“Serious Conservative Commentator Who Said The Stupidest Fucking Thing Ever Said By A Serious Conservative Commentator On The Internet Ever award.”

Pretty stiff competition for that one though.

On second reading, I misread the post and thought Max Boot was the one saying that water caused the earthquake and that you were making fun of it, so oopsie-daisy

Was last year’s devastating China earthquake, which killed 80,000 people and left more than 5 million homeless, really just a tragic natural event?

Yes. It was the inevitable consequence of the hamartia of the earth’s tectonic plates.

I don’t have any trouble believing that a water storage area of sufficient mass on or nearby a fragile fault zone could set off an earthquake. I just like mocking Max Boot for publicly worrying about the Chinese developing earthquake rays. It’s still just about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say with a straight face. “Earthquake Ray” makes me giggle even when I’ve had to deal with putting together make-up work packets for students who miss class because they’ve been in jail (which I do once a month or so).

What N.C. said.

There have been concerns for several years now that the huge Three Gorges dam might trigger earthquakes due to the enormous weight of water it contains. And hey, that was on National Geographic channel, so I have to at least consider it to be less than a totally insane theory.

Do Earthquake Rays say “delish” and “evoo”?

Jillian: To be honest, this isn’t just Max’s declaration of wily Chinee death tremor machines, but an actual scientific hypothesis backed up with data and research; Sichuan is a seismically active area, there are many dams in the area that can effect the geological character of the area, and there have been some small earthquakes caused by water weight near dams before, so this isn’t totally unheard of.

We’re talking about Max Boot. He probably skimmed the contrarian introduction and concluded it must be a perfidious yellow plot.

Seriously, Boot is the fucking dregs; his ability to attract positive attention from the mainstream is one of the more depressing things about Washington political culture, because unlike the other conservatards on the hill he’s also ambitiously and obviously stupid – and in a way that makes him stick out like a sore thumb. Where the Veritas retard might draw on Tory talking-points to prove blacks are an enemy to all of mankind, Boot has Cecil Rhodes so far up his ass you can smell jodhpurs on his breath.

He’s not just wrong, he’s not just stupid, and he’s not just strange, but he’s all three – and he was one of McCain’s top advisors, putting him at or in line to State, high-level/UN ambassadorship, or Chief of Staff in the event of an ’08 victory.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Palin is explicable; every fascist party needs a vicious race-baiter and women like anal too. Ames did an amazing article on him: “Das Boot: The Unsinkable Career of America’s Leading Twerpo-Imperialist.” Read it or I will fucking cut you.

It’s still just about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say with a straight face. “Earthquake Ray” makes me giggle even when I’ve had to deal with putting together make-up work packets for students who miss class because they’ve been in jail (which I do once a month or so).

Evidently if you ever have to bust them out, you know which consulate to call.

Earthquake Ray. Wasn’t he the welterweight champ back in the early 90s?

This theory has been around for a while, that an earthquake could be caused from the weight of water on a faultline, real people, not just wingnuts.

I think some of y’all are missing the point. Max Boot postulated that the earthquake was man-made – by an earthquake ray.

Jillian pointed out that there is indeed evidence the earthquake was man-made, but by impounding water, rather than by a Blofeldian earthquake ray as suggested by Boot.

Or am I the one getting it wrong? A definite possibility.

I just wanted to prove that my in-progress Ph.D. in civil engineering is worth something 🙁

Nah, you’re right, Rusty. Boot is a goddamn idiot.

Seriously, the energy it would take to move a continental plate along a fault line, even a hair? If humans could generate that level of energy with a machine, using it to generate earthquakes would be the last of our worries. It’s why “earthquake ray” cracks me up so much.

I like civil engineers. They are always so polite.

Maxie and the destructo ray in Neo Land…

So “Earthquake Ray” could have been our Ambassador to China.

And we didn’t want McCain to win… because?

Boot has Cecil Rhodes so far up his ass you can smell jodhpurs on his breath.

That’s a great turn of phrase. Save a link to that comment – even last night’s troll would find that funny (though he’d never admit it)

Also, I like this bit from the thing Jillian originally linked:

Unrestricted Warfare recognizes that it is practically impossible to challenge the U.S. on its own terms. No one else can afford to build mega-expensive weapons systems such as the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, which will cost more than $200 billion to develop. “The way to extricate oneself from this predicament,” the authors write, “is to develop a different approach.”

Their different approaches include financial warfare (subverting banking systems and stock markets), drug warfare (attacking the fabric of society by flooding it with illicit drugs), psychological and media warfare (manipulating perceptions to break down enemy will), international-law warfare (blocking enemy actions using multinational organizations), resource warfare (seizing control of vital natural resources), even ecological warfare (creating man-made earthquakes or other natural disasters).

It’s possible the original authors actually read the development of the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter that way. (After all, a Chinese mole in the political culture of US arms manufacture would have to go to a lot of effort to demonstrate sufficient contempt for American citizens and values.) I like to think, though, that it’s a beautifully revealing exterior exegesis – Anti-Bootsy (get your dead ass home), imagining some perfidious Chinee plotting to overthrow the US, thinking that the first and foremost obstacle they face is scrounging up 200 billion US dollars to buy high-tech fighter bombers, into which they would no doubt pile in order to attain the combined-arms advantages their hundred-million-manpower low-cost air defenses can never overcome.

It is the stupidest, most self-indulgent possible reading of asymmetrical warfare possible, and true to form, all he can do is conjure up his own ideological paranoia: Jew bankers George Soros! Acid! Kkklintoon News Notwork! The unbeatable will of the Security Council and the Israel-hating NGOs! Al Gore!

Of course, the last bit – because his surreal, Fleming-like expectoration of bog-standard right-wing screeching warped into pathetic fantasias hasn’t quite satisfied his boner for Tom Clancy – has to involve earthquake rays. Had he been blogging for what he thought of as impolite company, he would no doubt have made a joke about all those Chinamen jumping up and down at once, prease to honolable destloying of Healtrand, ah so. Instead, he imagined evil hook-nosed scientists scheming with their beloved gooks to destroy civilization once and for all – and prove global warming right in the process!!

Of course, I say ‘stupidest’ for a reason: all the Chinese had to do was keep a cool head when people with Fuck-Me’s damage came into power; our economy is crashing, fighting all their fucking wars with a Cold War military requires such erosion of moral standing that we can’t even lord it over them any more, the US is as diplomatically isolated as it has ever been, and through it all they’ve just been buying up more and more US debt. They don’t need to be able to buy Lightning IIs to win, you dipshit – they’ve been winning with every Goddamn one your jagoff buddies sell. And in all other things, where we were superior we are even, and where we are even we are inferior. The few advantages we’ve maintaned – naval strength, platforms and systems, stealth – are useless in a global diplomatic and economic fight for supremacy.

We didn’t usurp the seat of leading power from Britain (to use his other object of bonery) by having more weapons. In the long run we might have outdone them industrially and economically out of sheer resources, but we never could have and would never need to confront them militarily. A US-UK naval war in particular would have resulted in the Pacific fleet outliving the Atlantic by two months. But just like our Lightings, the Dreadnought and its sisters didn’t matter a fucking bit. Britain was undone by its own imperial hubris. And it didn’t help that pith-helmeted dipshits like Rhodes – a more legitimately evil if more intelligent and better-looking man – were doing to it the same that Boot is doing to us.

Don’t you libs GET it?? The whole Scientific American article was just a cover story that Max saw through immediately!! And earthquake rays aren’t even necessary… if any of Obama tse Dong Hussein X’s infrastructure projects involve dams being built in seismically unstable areas with Chinese backing, by God you’ll regret your mockery of Max.

So “Earthquake Ray” could have been our Ambassador to China.

In all fairness, ambassadorships are three-tiered – the top and bottom tiers are the ones handed out to people on the basis of what you think about them personally; the middle (including China) is populated by ideologically-friendly experts. While it’s certainly possible Boot would have been regarded as clever enough (puking in my fucking mouth here) to make the grade, his connections would mean a plum appointment – the top-level ambassadorships, to big media-heavy countries which are friendly to the US, where a career politician is likely to do as much good as a wonk.

So (knowing Boot) probably ambassador to the UK. China would be a distinct possibility, but I prefer to think that he’d be milling aimlessly around the Highlands, finding a life in which he could finally fuck Scotch sheep on the taxpayer’s dime more empty than he had ever considered. It’s lonely on top, especially if it’s of a Border Leicester.

Mark my words liberals: Chinese all over the world are synchronizing their watches and at the designated time they will all jump once.

Hey Max? Who do you think has been covering your welfarepaycheck?

But what if they all flush their toilets at once?!

The horror!

Ways the Chinese could destroy the Earth if they all did it at the exact same time?

Clapped their hands? The hurricanes would be terrifying.

I have to say, Jillian, the single best part really is the one you pointed out – the impossible stupidity of taking the possibility (the discussion of which before the actual earthquake and during construction) that the biggest damming and flooding project in human history (involving volumes and pressures of water on a level equivalent to physically shoving a small mountain range in there) had some influence on a recent earthquake to imply that it was possible to build an earthquake ray.

I mean, what the fuck can you even say to that? It’d almost be more realistic to imagine China foiling us by throwing Mars at Nebraska.

What Max didn’t realize of course is that while the slanty eyed bastards were working on their Earthquake Ray we in the US had already perfected our Spy Ray The Arisians are on our side!!!

Eat diesel death Chinese slime!

(damn! can’t find a link – Google E.E. Doc Smith and poke around technologyreview.com).

Ways the Chinese could really piss you off if they all did it at the exact same time?

Cut in line at the check-out. BASTARDS!!!

Alec, I’ve never even taken a single physics class, and yet the idea of an EARTHQUAKE RAY is so obviously, patently ridiculous when subjected to even the teeniest amount of serious consideration. I mean, how much instruction in physics do you need to understand F=MA? Or to guess at the amount of energy necessary to achieve sufficient acceleration of sufficient mass to generate a damn earthquake?

A classic Earthquake Ray doesn’t attempt to lay out a hammer blow, but rather an intense point of heat that softens stone and allows the pressure to be released.

You can’t Nuke a fault line. You have to frickin’ laser beam it.

Or to guess at the amount of energy necessary to achieve sufficient acceleration of sufficient mass to generate a damn earthquake?

Gay Marriages x NEA Grants x Foreigners in America=Potential Earthquake Energy

Actually, it’s not all that ridiculous in concept, just in application. Sonic energy of the right amplitude and frequency could conceivably cause an unbounded oscillaition (google “Galloping Gertie(y?)”) at a tectonic juncture.

But it’s pretty goddamn far fetched. The stuff of paranoia, really.

Ways the Chinese could destroy the Earth if they all did it at the exact same time?

Whistle. The sound would deafen us all, leaving us defenseless.

Blink. The resulting winds would generate storms not seen since the days of the earth’s creation.

Take a step backward. The earth’s rotation would stall, leaving us all to burn to death under the unrelenting heat of the sun.

Eat a grain of rice. The entire planet’s food stores would be depleted.

Make a TV station. The amount of signals going through the air would crush us.

“Was last year’s devastating Chinese earthquake, which killed 80,000 people and left more than 5 million homeless, really just a tragic natural event?” Don’t you Libs GET it??? If the eeevil Chinese were willing to do that to their own people, imagine what they’re capable of doing to US!!!

Reading some of Boot’s screeds I can’t help but think Classic Chicken.

There was one absolutely kick-ass Doc Savage novel, written in 1934, that actually put forward a reasonably scientifically plausible earthquake machine and how it might work, The Man Who Shook the Earth.

The earthquake machine was actually electrical in nature. It worked in places like Chile (where the story was set) because of the idea that electrical currents run through quartz cause that kind of rock to vibrate, thus creating man-made quakes.

Sonic energy of the right amplitude and frequency could conceivably cause an unbounded oscillaition (google “Galloping Gertie(y?)”) at a tectonic juncture.

Neeeh, not really: the Earth is more or less suspended in a vacuum, and while you could in fact make it oscillate with a comparatively minor force, the oscillation isn’t what causes the damage — you still need to transfer force, and consistently at that. So we’re talking “every conventional and nuclear explosive ever detonated over the course of several years in order to cause an actual 2-3 magnitude earthquake”.

Which in the grand scheme of things isn’t too bad.

The failure here is just to imagine how fucking huge even a terrestrial planet is. “Sextillion” isn’t a number most of us will ever have any other reason to use (barring some kind of novelty condom); the planet itself is far, far, far too large for us to accurately concieve of in any kind of anthropic terms.

Lemme put it this way: the entire atmosphere (up to the interstellar medium, not just the pissy ‘counts for NASA’ shit) could fit into the soil with room to spare; it weighs about 5 quadrillion tons – for reference, Lake Michigan weighs slightly more – and yet we can’t even make it fucking rain.

Humanity has achieved amazing and terrible things, but ‘amazing and terrible’ in the context of life and itself. Boot cannot accept that he is, on even a terrestrial scale, about as significant as a mite up an ant’s ass.

I’ve gotta work on a “Peril” module for JanusNode. Until then:

Father LithHearst Windy’s Outlandish Lizard’s Leg Linguine

Ingredients:
4 jiggers bigeye, venerably charred
4 gallons lizard’s leg, grandiloquently pulled
1 portion Bavarian Swiss cheese
4 pints biological yellow tang tongue
2 bunches dill
1 ounce salt

Pick over the ingredients and discard excess breezeblock. Cream the bigeye with a large thingamajig. Use a food processor to combine the Bavarian Swiss cheese with the lizard’s leg. Stuff the resulting goo into the bigeye. Sugar – very insipidly – the tongue, dill, and the salt. Encrust the latter combination on to the former. Grill for 57 hours. Serves 7.

owlbear1:
Reading some of Boot’s screeds I can’t help but think Classic Chicken.

Reminds me of troll season.

Inter-plate earthquakes occur when two plates get caught on each other at a relatively small area as they’re moving past/over/under each other; eventually the force of the moving plates overwhelms the friction force, and the two plates rapidly spring to the point where they’d have been if they weren’t caught previously. If you could identify the places where plates were caught on each other and somehow burrow down there and release them, you could cause human-made earthquakes, but by then we’d of course already be able to predict them and maybe even gently release the plates ourselves.

Neeeh, not really: the Earth is more or less suspended in a vacuum, and while you could in fact make it oscillate with a comparatively minor force, the oscillation isn’t what causes the damage —

I respectfully disagree. As N.C. pointed out, the plate junctures are already under pressure. The oscillations I propose causing would serve to break the tension through fairly small movements of fairly small masses in specific places. Akin to “energy of activation” in chemical reactions.

Still, we’re probably talking petajoules, at least.

[I aint a geoscientist, a physicist or nuttin, but I have a math degree and a minor in physics… ]

Mark my words liberals: Chinese all over the world are synchronizing their watches and at the designated time they will all jump once.

Not that big a deal, apparently.

Jillian said,

February 7, 2009 at 20:38

But what if they all flush their toilets at once?!

The horror!

Eli Yale!

I would like to supply an internet linkage, such as the young folks do these days, but I can’t find one.

Anyways, I can assure one and all that back in the day, a coordinated toilet flush was consummated at Wright Hall on the Olde Campus (or maybe it wasn’t Wright, so this comment is just all wrong).

The results were destructamentation to the plumbing. Just as Jesus foretold.
~

erm, looks like a petajoule is only about 1/4 Megaton. So, exajoules, at least, maybe (probably) more.

The oscillations I propose causing would serve to break the tension through fairly small movements of fairly small masses in specific places.

Problem is mainly that it isn’t quite as clear-cut as the maps tend to look – fault interactions are relatively complex and I don’t think, outside of boring and remote vectoring stuff that isn’t even imaginable from the perspective of current technology, you can really finesse the joints like that. Brute-force is the only way to pull it off, and while again oscillation is a good idea (if you can pull it off – I suspect you know more about wave dynamics than I do, so if you’re confident the scrawny atmosphere the earth is immersed in is capable of holding that kind of standing wave I defer to you on this one), reducing the level of energy necessary to brute-force an earthquake by however many orders of magnitude is still gonna require an enormous amount of energy.

The thing about chaotic systems is that they’re kind of difficult to manage if you don’t have a decent idea of what you’re doing. Again, think about the weather – we know roughly how air behaves in microcosm and we know how the Earth’s atmosphere behaves in macrocosm, and we have an excellent level of knowledge in between the two, but it’d have to be comprehensive to start generating weather. Even setting aside the mass problem, we’re left with a science problem – meteorology is pretty advanced, and even if the Earth’s crust were a system no more complex than its atmosphere we still don’t have the equivalent understanding in terrestrial terms.

Of course, there you start getting into legitimate tragedy instead of comical earthquake-ray mumbo-jumbo. But when one talks about Max Boot, comedy and tragedy are difficult to pick apart.

And just how are you going to generate all that sound? Penguins with Megaphones?

Incidentally, have you ever seen the slow-motion videos Discovery did of breaking glass through resonance? this is similar. It’s pretty striking, especially if you’ve seen it in normal speed – the vibration is normally so close to invisible you have to stick a pen or straw in to verify it’s moving.

Penguins with sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads, that’s how.

We’re going to need really big penguins.

Chinese Penguins with megaphones, actually. All jumping at the same time and flushing toilets.
Armagideon Time, baby!

Incidentally, have you ever seen the slow-motion videos Discovery did of breaking glass through resonance?
Great. The Mythbusters do it once, and suddenly every man and his penguin is uploading youtube clips of resonating glasses. Does this mean Sheldrake was right about morphic resonance?

Here in Southern Calif., I anxiously await the next “Big One,” as I didn’t get enough looting in during our last civil unrest or large-scale earthquake.

So come on, Chairman Max, get your minions jumping.

Also: Thinking the Chinese do not have enough toilets for a mass flush to, to … to do whatever a mass flush would do.

The earthquake machine was actually electrical in nature. It worked in places like Chile (where the story was set) because of the idea that electrical currents run through quartz cause that kind of rock to vibrate, thus creating man-made quakes.
This has an uncanny resemblance to Persinger’s 17%-baked idea that UFO sightings cluster along fault lines — his explanation as follows
(1) Tectonic stresses place pressure on quartz crystals in the rock and generate electric fields;
(2) ????
(3) Low-frequency electromagnetic fields stimulate temporal lobes of susceptible individuals;
(4) UFOs and ghosts and paranormal phenomena, oh my!

It is time that Max Boot teamed up with Prof. Persinger to warn of the insidious Chinese plan to bring down US hegemony by using the Earthquake Ray to hasten the spread of New Age woo.

Like I said, exajoules at least. Also, I probably shouldn’t have used the term sonic. I was thinking more along the lines of seismic waves. The message should be in the medium; very careless of me to say sonic.
As far as chaotic systems, I know a fair bit about chaos – all kinds but here I refer to the mathematical sort – but mostly I know I don’t know much about chaos.

Anyway, perhaps the exploding species of penguin would suffice if we could breed them in sufficient quantity.

Thinking the Chinese do not have enough toilets for a mass flush to, to … to do whatever a mass flush would do.

Silly liberal, the construction of the giant toilet-making machine proceeds apace.

Failing that, there is The Triple-Giant Toilet.

owlbear1 said,

Ways the Chinese could destroy the Earth if they all did it at the exact same time?

Clapped their hands? The hurricanes would be terrifying.

After all, if just one fucking butterfly…

My cunning plan was thwarted when time-travellers stepped on the butterfly.

Clyde, that Persinger guy’s theory seemed perfectly reasonable to me as an explanation of unidentified lights in the sky when I saw it on telebision (the source of all my science & technology knowledge) some 15 yrs. ago.

So this is allegedly a list of wily asiatic schemes under consideration for world domination:
Unrestricted Warfare
{The purported Chinese military theorists’] different approaches include financial warfare (subverting banking systems and stock markets), drug warfare (attacking the fabric of society by flooding it with illicit drugs), psychological and media warfare (manipulating perceptions to break down enemy will), international-law warfare (blocking enemy actions using multinational organizations), resource warfare (seizing control of vital natural resources), even ecological warfare (creating man-made earthquakes or other natural disasters).

Is it just me, or does this read like it was stolen straight from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion?

Not that butterfly, this butterfly.

dave at 21:06 raised the question I was wondering; even if such a thing were physically possible, wouldn’t the Chinese test an unpredictable new weapon someplace other than at a huge dam with millions of people downstream? Or does he think that China, with its thousands of years of civilization, doesn’t realize 5 million homeless roaming around might cause a teensy bit of civil unrest? Oh, I know: INSCRUTABLE!

Is it just me, or does this read like it was stolen straight from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion?

I think he’s basing it on the updated version, The Protocols of the Elitists of San Francisco.

Trig: Come on, you KNOW the Chinese don’t value human life the way WE do…

Maxie must have been influenced by Michael Crichton’s “State of Fear”. It’s like in one paragraph Crichton states that mankind is not capable of altering the Earth’s climate, and in the next he’s talking about earthquake generators that ecoterrorists have stolen for the purpose of…altering the Earth’s climate.

Ways the Chinese could destroy the Earth if they all did it at the exact same time?-

Shake their booties. A billion butts shaken in unison could send the Earth spinning out of the galaxy and into the Great Void.

The full text of Max Boot’s (I love that name) article can be found here in all its glory.

Boot on detecting nefarious Chinese activity: “Once you know what to look for, the pieces fall into place with disturbing ease.” – the very essence of a paranoid mindset.

that Persinger guy’s theory seemed perfectly reasonable to me as an explanation of unidentified lights in the sky
He only publishes in non-peer-reviewed journals, bless his heart.

If I can get this done, and get Kevin Phillips’ attempt to gain respectability as a liberal thinker tarred forever by changing his name to Kevin “Southern Strategy” Phillips, I’ll be able to die a contented woman.

Aw, leave Kevin Philips alone. He’s done a lot to atone for his earlier misdeeds, much like David Brock. He was way ahead of the MSM curve on calling out the Bushies for what they were, and he’s never let up.

Boot on detecting nefarious Chinese activity: “Once you know what to look for, the pieces fall into place with disturbing ease.”

Indeed: once private-sector experts with a better understanding of the evil Russian mindset were contracted out to double-check the CIA’s estimates, we learned that the USSR was secretly using deadly space lasers which looked like radar towers and a submarine detection system immune to the laws of physics. (If there was ever a situation under which you felt like taking Tom Clancy seriously as an author, his most famous work is based directly on that last one.)

Those Team B fellas saved America from its own decadence. Why, just imagine if the USSR had fallen without the US paring its high-bracket taxes to the bone and plunging into debt to pay GE to think really hard about laser satellites.

Shake their booties. A billion butts shaken in unison could send the Earth spinning out of the galaxy and into the Great Void.

No, the Chinese may have a billion people, but the Great American Obesity Epidemic will ensure that the Chicoms will never surpass us in the masses of the asses.

WOLVERINES!!!

GLUTTONS!!!
Fecksed.

Nicely played, SC! Mustelids are to funny forever.

Bookmark this, libs! You won’t be laughing so hard when the Chicoms hit us with their Weather Smurfing Machine!

The Chinese Earthquake and General death ray.
The sunspot activity slowing.
The economic system crashing in a twisted wreck of twisted things.
The disappearance of wild honey bees in NZ
An enraged hamster called Norbet
“Once you know what to look for, the pieces fall into place with disturbing ease.”

Didn’t General Tso have a plot to harden Americans’ arteries?

The Chinese Earthquake and General death ray.
The sunspot activity slowing.
The economic system crashing in a twisted wreck of twisted things.
The disappearance of wild honey bees in NZ
An enraged hamster called Norbet

Worst limerick EVAH.

There was one absolutely kick-ass Doc Savage novel

There were MANY absolutely kick-ass Doc Savage novels.

Worst limerick EVAH.

‘S blank verse innit, critic.

Huh? An earthquake ray that only works on a large river? And it requires building a huge dam?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

So they’d call in our debts to them in the form of a big honking obstacle across the Colorado where it crosses the San Andrea fault? *snort*

Max should call up the Queen and tell her that M needs to get 007 on the case right away.

I tried to warn you, people!

I TRIED TO WARN YOOOOOOU!!!