Speaking of things that aren’t…

Yes, other places may be smarter. But we have singing trolls.

I appreciate all of the viewpoints on Cindy Sheehan, but they’re all wrong. Here’s my view:
The Cindy Sheehan Show: words and music by Dr. BLT (c) 2005

Posted by Bruce L. Thiessen, Ph.D., aka Dr. BLT at August 27, 2005 10:11 AM


Comments: 21


Hey, your singing troll was born in Steinbach, Manitoba and raised in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (…God, I so wanted that to be Regina, for obvious reasons). I shudder to think what Canada Council grants went into cultivating that talent.

Oh, well, he seems to reside in California now. *sigh*…another sad case of our talent fleeing South.

C?line, come back…all is forgiven!


Hey, how did you know I came from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan? Actually, I did live in Regina for awhile. Thanks for your feedback on my music. However, if you want to gain respect for your seemingly self-appointed role as music critic, you better at least listen to more than one song, perhaps at least 10 of the hundreds I’ve written and recorded. Put your disparaging remarks on hold for awhile, check out at least 10 tunes, including my song f or Neil Young, then come back with more comments. I may actually restore your faith in a country that has been taken over by left-wing nuts.


However, if you want to gain respect for your seemingly self-appointed role as music critic

I don’t have the heart to tell him.


Hey, how did you know I came from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan?

Er, it’s like, in the biography section, your um, web site?

I may actually restore your faith in a country that has been taken over by left-wing nuts.

And what country’s that, in your mind? Tra La La-land?

Anyway, rock on, dude!


I may actually restore your faith in a country that has been taken over by left-wing nuts.

He’s restored my faith that I should never buy an album made by a guy who calls himself a sandwich.


I love life and music. I pour my heart into my songs.

Sounds like he earned his PhD in the little known field of clicheology.


Well, one things for sure, whatever school of psychology Dr. Thiessen practices, it sure ain’t Freudianism. Check out this poem to his mother’s vagina:

The Womb I shed, The Place you Bled

a prayer by Bruce L. Thiessen, Ph.D. (c)2001

dear God,

here I kneel,

once blind, twice born

once lost, deprived, forlorn

but still I see you in dim light

I seek the truth, but still, I fight

to hide inside the womb I shed

to walk right past the place you bled

Here’s the link, because, Sadly, No, I didn’t make this up!


Please note this post is for the sake of scholarly criticism, not for commercial purposes, and thereby invokes a “fair use” protection against any claims of copyright infringement.


Okay, I listened to it and… my ears bled.


Hey, that was me with the above poem post. Don’t want you to take the heat for the copyright problems sure to ensue.

This post is (c) 2005 Stand_Up_Philosopher Productions, Inc.


Hey! Stop picking on the Reverend Sandwich. I happen to think “Great Sex (could ruin your life)” is a bona fide great song (although perhaps not for the reasons for which it was written) and our band is seriously nutting out a cover that pays appropriate homage to its origins. However we won’t be using a 4 track tascam…unlike some.

And I promise SN will be sent a link to the downloadable version, the moment’s it’s…um…downloadable.

We kinda imagine for the chorus an enormous group singing in unision (but not in chorus): “Great Sex!” (post yer versions of this here for sampling) – and then taking a silent beat before launching back in with a solo Vincent Price styling vocal punching in “will ruin your life”.

Thinking around 90 bpm, bit of wood block action playing off the snare and a nice slippery bassline underneath – while still retaining the Reverend Sandwich’s acoustic sub-diddley riff.

And don’t worry Reverend Sandwich, we’re all members of APRA so your songwriting credit will be eventually acknowleged by ASCAP and BMI. I assume that a fellow muso like you snackboy is also a member of such key royality collection bodies.


Can I get in on this session? I’m hearing a Curtis Mayfield guitar thing, like the riff in ‘Superfly.’


Needs more cowbell!


Which is worse:Doc BLT, orPat Boone’s metal album? (scroll to bottom of page)Vote early and vote often.


You seem so great at pointing out the obvious as it concerns how you discovered my place of birth and upbringing. Yet you allow yourself to miss another obvious aspect of my identity. You assume I am simply calling myself by the name of a sandwich, when it is obvious that the Dr. part of my title is real—unlike the Dr. in Dr. Dre, and the BLT part, well, duh!? Those are my initials. Hello!!???

As for you referring to me in the pejorative sense of being a troll, you have also missed an obvious aphorism as it applies to trolls: “Don’t feed the troll!” The replies of all of you who have been critical have given ammunition to my posts. You have actually renderred my arguments stronger. Not only that, but based on my review of the stats for my website, since you folks have been protesting my music, visits to my site have nearly doubled, and you have come close to providing me with a hit song, The Cindy Sheehan Show. I have never seen these kinds of numbers in terms of folks downloading a song of mine. You folks may actually become ultimately responsible for making me famous.

One more point, if you will bear with me. If I am, in fact, a “troll” in the pejorative sense, why don’t you do what us shrinks refer to as “reframing.” Can’t you see that my input in the midst of this forum is actually fresh water in an otherwise stagnant pond? Consider Piaget’s notions of assimilation and accomodation. You folks have become quite smug and superciliously content with a mediocre form of liberal groupthink. I am (with my songs that you love to hate, and my comments (that you love to criticise) actually challenging you to re-examine your hackneyed Weltenshuangs—to look at the world from a new persepctive. By the numbers of you that are now downloading my songs, it appears that I have become somewhat of a muse, based on the guilty pleasure you folks all feel about listening to my tunes. Once again, you folks have revived my song blogging “career,” and if you see one of my songs on the Billboard charts, you can take partial credit. If I am awarded a Grammy one day, I will owe much of it to you. I will try to get all of you free tickets to the show.


Bruce, you come to a site known for its linguistic brilliance (Finnish swear words being only one specialty — why I’ve even seen French used as a secret code here) and you post “Weltenshuangs”? Sigh. The correct singular form is Weltanschauung and the correct plural is Weltanschauungen. Or didn’t you have to take foreign languages for your PhD?

Now, about your use of “Dr.” in contexts outside your specialty. Since you don’t have a PhD in songwriting, it’s a little “gauche” (a French word meaning “left” but used in current American English not in the sense of “sinister” but simply “maladroit” [ha – I used a French word to define the English sense of another French word! Isn’t learnin’ fun?]) to use it in copyrighting your songs. When I got my PhD, my mentors told me that it was a little pretentious to use “Dr.” outside your specialty. The saying was this: “PhD’s are like noses. They’re only interesting when someone doesn’t have one.” For instance, when I go buy groceries, I don’t ask the clerks to call me “Dr. Stand Up Philosopher” or even “Dr. SUP,” though some of my students do say “Hey, doc, ‘sup?”


I shouldn’t read Sadly, No! when I’m dressing for a particularly hot day. I’m “going commando”, you see, and I caught my Weltenshwang in my zipper. Aiiie! Das schmertzt.

Dr. BLT, nothing will make me happier than to see you get famous and win a Grammy, and I will gladly take credit for the small part I had in turning your talent toward entertainment exclusively, and away from therapy., if you know what I mean.


BLT, what makes you think that S,N is trying to stifle debate or limit new perspectives? Your music and your politics have been the topic of at least four posts that I can recall, maybe more. In fact I think that the fellows at S,N are actively encouraging you to comment here. Criticism, mockery and irony may not be exactly what you want to read but they certainly do not limit your free speech in any way.


I now realize that you folks have no intention of robbing me of my freedom of speech. You had me very worried for awhile there. Hey, in any relationship it takes time for trust to build. I should be grateful that you folks have transformed my website from a one-horse ghost town to New York City—well, perhaps that’s a bit of a stretch. How about Bakersfield, California?

Ham on Rye, Ph.D.

What Doctor BLT, like many other right-wing dingleberries, is doing when he complains that criticism of his “talent” is an “attempt to stifle free speech” is projecting his own desires while playing the victim.

In shorter terms, he views any attempt to prevent him or people like him from persecuting you as a form of persecution unto itself.

[wing-nut]”What, I’m not allowed to round up the darkies, the homos and the liberals and shoot them?! Why that’s Anti-chirstian, anti-conservative bias i tell you! My rights are being infringed”[/wing-nut]


Nice try, Ham on Rye. If it weren’t so ridiculous, it may actually hold together as a reasonable hypothesis.


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