oops!

In Sept 2003, spouse and I vacationed in London. We also took the requisite side trip to Stone Henge/Bath.

Upon arrival I apologized to the young woman at customs for sending them David Blaine (who was hanging out over the Thames, peeing and shitting in a plastic bag to make a point about how long he could live in a lexan box suspended over the river). She graciously accepted my apology with a wry smile and a chuckle.

On returning from Bath, a large America (not fat just outsized), dressed in a neon colored polyester polo shirt, Englebert Humperdink hair, and a couple of pounds of brassy “gold” bling, loudly announced to the tour bus that he and his wife were getting off the bus at the spot closest to the “Hard Rock Cafe” be cause the food there was the same as all other versions of the franchise.

And Mr. Romano wonders why “Americans” are mocked by people with taste and brains?

Freedom Films!!

I for one will still blame Hollywood for mimes, though…

Such a negative Nellie!

It’s the stunning successes of the Bush-Cheney regime that have pushed me rightward these past 4 years.

I wish I could claim credit for this, but really I stole it from a commentor at another blog:

I really hate the whole “I used to be a Democrat, but ever since 9/11 I’ve been very outraged by Chappaquiddick” crowd.

I’m in Paris right now, typing this from a cafe whilst eating a potato and chive crepe and drinking a nice cup of tea. It’s my first time here. I always assumed I would love Paris because wingnuts hate it, and I was right.

He’s starting an “informal list of the worst anti-American and anti-conservative moments in film” (because of course anything that’s “anti-conservative” is by definition also “anti-American”). It just doesn’t occur to these whiny pissants that if there are so many examples of anti-Americanism out there to collect and brood about, then perhaps a REASON for it, other than an inexplicable anti-US-conservative global conspiracy?

perhaps THERE IS a REASON for it, dammit.

Is he sure about the translation of “Gare Du Nord?” I was positive it meant Republicans suck.

And if the movie had a conservative man giving someone with an Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker the wrong directions to the creation museum, Romano would probably complain that it made conservatives look like assholes.

I swear the only way a Hollywood movie can not be seen as a slight to conservatives (besides being a box office smash and then magically being discovered as conservative) is for it to be a two hour series of encores of “Bush was right.”

I’m guessing John “NotRay” Romano never saw Valley of Wolves.

“one of the most anti-American and anti-Republican moments in film history.”

Huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGpCzuFegaM&feature=related

whata’maroooon…..

I was in England in December, the first time since the elections, and for once, people actually stopped me and asked about America. Hell, even the customs guys were all like, “You’re American? Step right this way, sir, and welcome to England!”

By the way, TinTin, you should try serving that confit at the next CPAC meeting. Tell them it’s pate.

So this idiot thinks anti-Republican=anti-American, which means he can’t admit that more than half of his countrymen must therefore be anti-American. I also love how he’s suprised the group wasn’t asking for directions to McDonald’s which they weren’t but he’s surprised because it would have been a much worse portrayal of Americans, which it wasn’t, but it would have been and that’s all that matters. And then he bravely offers up a link to McDonald’s locations in Paris to offend the anti-American Hollywood scum who made this movie which doesn’t have Americans in Paris asking for directions to McDonald’s, the bastards.

It’s like they’re constantly railing against the fantasy leftists in their own heads, or more likely for this site, this was something he “authored” about an entirely different movie several years ago and it ended up at Breitbart’s Big Recycler and Trash Chute.

Julie Delpy is a naturalized American, actually.

[Tintin adds: She kept her French citizenship, however, so she’s still French, actually]

Obviously Hollywood takes all of their cues from the French Judeo-Masonic-Reptoid conspiracy. So *clearly* French film is even more Hollywood than Hollywood, since it’s coming directly from the source of anti-Americanism.

I had heard of it, actually, but only because Roger reviewed it. Incidentally, how presicely is Julie Delpy (writer, director, star) part of Big Hollywood?

I saw her tits in American Werewolf in Paris. Does that count as Big Hollywood?

Ooh! Ooh! Is this where we dish on our horrible experiences with American tourists?

I’ve never had one. French Canadians, however…

how presicely is Julie Delpy (writer, director, star) part of Big Hollywood?

Big? She’s barely a B cup!

From the description given by the bed-wetter, the lead character is an American. That doesn’t sound very anti-american to me! Why would the frogs make a film with a yank in it if they really hated them all that much?

Infact, I suspect the little anti-bush moment in there was included deliberately to point out that the film having an american as in the lead role, does not make it explicitly pro-american, or pro-bush in any way.

After all, the film was released in countries which have very good reasons to hate dubyas stinking guts, and the type of American who watches foreign films can usually be counted upon to be rather more liberal and politically aware than average.

It is true that “fat, loud american tourist” is a rather lazy shorthand for the parts of american culture that intelligent people the world over despise. But the scene sounds like a mere 30 second disclaimer, establishing the lead character as someone who is NOT like that. All it does really is emphasise that although the lead character is foreign, he has cultural and political values in common with his european audience.

He must have hated Disney for this.

Freedom Popcorn for Freedom Films!

Is he sure about the translation of “Gare Du Nord?” I was positive it meant Republicans suck.

I think it’s a phrase used to describe an act of love-making between Gary Ruppert and Jay Nordlinger.

So BBC Radio political correspondent Johnny “Rome” is watching art house French films looking for Anti-American bias so he can bitch about Hollywood leftism.

Just some of the fascinating contortions you’ll find on Planet Andy.

I, for one, am astonished that creative people, who tend to think original thoughts and to take artistic risks, are usually progressives rather than conservatives.

It is unnatural and must be the result of a conspiracy.

It’s a good thing no one’s ever made any movies with parodies of Frenchmen.

Anyways, I thought the bedwetters were up in arms over the rash of furriners and terra-appeasin’ traitor-lefties that this scene would ring true with them. I mean aren’t they always bitching about how all non-True-Americans have the “Fuck ’em, they voted for Bush” attitude.

French Canadians, however…
Are responsible for poutine, so all is forgiven.

Thanks for the info, Tintin!

When we were in Sweden in 2005, I discovered that most of the people there spoke English better than most anybody in the USA, as I suspected. I struck up a conversation with a guide who gave a short tour at one of the Royal Palaces. She was being strictly neutral about politics until I made it clear that I thought El Chimpo was the greatest danger to humanity since Jean Luc Picard in that movie where he comes within a hairs breath of destroying the universe or something.

After she found that out, she asked me many questions, all of which boiled down to, basically, WTF is wrong with Americans?

Incidentally, the actor playing the terra-appeasin’ traitor-lefty? Adam Goldberg. An actor whose oeuvre consists of playing a total dick.

He and his wife were “very excited” about a movie they picked up from a rental store?

Wow. Now that is sad.

Wow.

“Ooh! Ooh! Is this where we dish on our horrible experiences with American tourists?”

I can’t. For 16 years I’ve consistently refused my spouse’s entreaties to go on holiday with my brother-in-law.

> Incidentally, the actor playing the terra-appeasin’ traitor-lefty? Adam Goldberg. An actor whose oeuvre consists of playing a total dick.

That clip shows him being very libertarian! “Survival of the fittest” is a quote.

The main thought I had whilst viewing it is that he was channeling Woody Allen to a degree of accuracy that I thought was impossible without being called an anti-semite.

It’s true, only scoundrels would be “matzo-munching”. Smarter people would munch cardboard, which tastes better and has a more moist texture, especially when dipped in charoset. The only downside is that if you don’t finish all your cardboard, you’ll have to throw it away because it may go bad the next time Pesach rolls around; you don’t have that problem with matzah.

I hope that all Republicans offended by our nations turn away from Bush Jr. and Republicans choose to move further rightwards.

you don’t have that problem with matzah

Unless you store it in lutefisk.

What Dragon-King Wangchuck said. Goldberg plays an almost complete jerkoff in “Two Days in Paris,” too. His obviously misanthropic, self-centered character would just as likely have sent a bunch of earnest hippies the wrong way.

That said, any American wearing Bush paraphernalia in Paris might as well be wearing an “J’ai un tete de merde” T-shirt.

> Ooh! Ooh! Is this where we dish on our horrible experiences with American tourists?

I’ve had a few of the typical “where’s the McDonalds?” with Americans while overseas, but the worst behavior I ever saw was in Gaudi’s home in Barcelona, by an English guy.

He actually opened the desk that Gaudi used and started looking thru the drawers. I made an idle – not accusatory – comment to no one in particular about it. He realized it was a slam on him, looked up at me, and had to be restrained from trying to fight me by his wife.

There are idiots everywhere.

He and his wife were “very excited” about a movie they picked up from a rental store?

Wow. Now that is sad.

They probably thought it was the sequel to One Night in Paris.

I took an art history class in Italy when I was college. There was one girl from Texas who brought her own food from home including Cheez Wiz. She actually ate it.

“A Blartican in Paris” ?

I hope that all Republicans offended by our nations turn away from Bush Jr. and Republicans choose to move further rightwards.

There’s hope.

Uhoh.

Last Blarto In Paris

“It’s a Blart, Blart, Blart, Blart World” starring Milton Blart and a cast of thousands.

Last Blart-go in Paris. Halfway through the infamous sex scene, he realizes he can’t get it up unless CMT is playing on a nearby teevee.

It was directed by Bernardo Blartolucci.

Blartatouille.

Le Blart-ser mortel du dragon

I was in Reykjavik once when an older New Yorker (by his accent) tore into a young Icelandic cashier for giving him his change in Icelandic Kronas instead of US dollars! I think he was getting back on a cruise ship and didn’t want to take the Icelandic currency with him.

I barely kept my temper in check and told the guy “You’re in Iceland! What kind of money did you think she was going to give you?”

Since I was going to be there a while I ended up exchanging him my dollars for the local currency and then apologized to the cashier.

The Blartcycle Thief. Oh wait, that’s eye-talian.

Deli-Blart-essen.

Ray Romano’s response to allegations that this is actually not a Hollywood film in the slightest:

“I had no idea that Samuel Goldwyn Films was a French company. You live you learn…..(heading back to the nineties here, sorry)…..NOT!”

If you can’t tell the difference between a distributor and a production company, you should not be writing about movies, or indeed anything at all ever again you fucking IMBECILE.

Le Morte Du Blarthur.

I was in Nagasaki on the 50th anniversary of the bombing and was approached by a group of teenagers working on a school assignment. They asked my opinion about the incident and, being a bleeding-heart terra-appeaser, I said something like, “I’m very sorry we bombed your city. I’m glad our coutries are friends now. I hope we will have eternal peace…etc. etc.”

I suppose a patriotic, pro-conservative real American would have said, “Hey, assholes! You started it!”

District Blart13.

Leonard Blart 6

> Last Blart-go in Paris.

Best line in that movie, incidentally from that sex scene: “Pass the blarta” by Marlon Blarto in his tough-guy/Brooklyn accent.

Jean De Blartette

Gazon Blartit

La Cage Aux Blart

Blart De Jour

La Belle et Le Blart

Jules Et Blart

> you should not be writing … [about] anything at all ever again you fucking IMBECILE.

Wingnut and whackjob blog writers hear this 24×7, but all it does is bring out more of the Don Quixote in them.

I’m just sick of Blart Wars.

I hope that all Republicans offended by our nations turn away from Bush Jr. and Republicans choose to move further rightwards …

… until they all finally fall off the edge of the earth.

Finished that for ya.

Day For Blart
The 400 Blarts

Movies with Humphrey Blartgart:

Key Blartgo
Casablarto
The Treasure Of Sierra Blarto
The Blartfoot Contessa
Blart The Devil

Lauren Blartcall co-starred in some of those.

BLART 182!

Blartenheit 911
Blartlejuice

Blarter Romano: I failed in the entertainment industry, therefore I’ve moved rightward.

I think we’ve blarted out the entire blarting blartologue of Blartema

Blarty Horror Picture Show
Day of the Living Blart
Army of Blart-ness
The Cabinet of Dr. Blartigari

Ignatov,
I would have said it was a terrible mistake, since it ruined a perfectly good jazz tune.

I think we missed this one:

The Blart is a Lonely Hunter

“They voted for Bush. …” Me, I gave up on the movie right there.

Who is he kidding? If it had been a Kerry/Edwards ’04 t-shirt the main character made fun of it would have been the best movie scene ever.

Blart Like A Wheel, Starring Blartie Beblartia

Conservatives haven’t had a good film producer, director, actor, since Leni Riefenstahl .

Oh, and……..

Angel Blart (from the French quarter)

For instance, last month my wife and I rented the movie “Two Days in Paris.”

No True Republican would ever rent “Two Days in a Decadent Swishy Old-Yurpean Town That Hates God, America and Everything Decent,” much less be excited about it. CARCAJOUS!

Blart of a Nation
Passion of the Blart
The Blart-ainhead, which will have to do until someone bankrolls Blart-lus Shrugged

Here I sit

All brokenhearted

Wanted to shit

But instead I blarted.

Have you guys peeped the comments on Romano’s piece? Those people really inhabit a strange universe. I can’t believe the outrage over how the movie of The Sum of All Fears changed the villains from Muslims to Neo-Nazis, from the same people who seem shocked that Hollywood would ever knowingly alienate members of a film’s potential audience.

I Am Curious (Blart)

This “Republican=Punk Rock” nonsense is getting out of hand.

I was there at ground zero of punk on the West Coast, the Mabuhay Gardens in San Francisco cicra 1977. And at the core, Punk was as non-political as a rock-based musical genre can be, except for the attitude of “fuck off and die, stupid politician assholes. And blow me. Who’s got the quaaludes?”

Sure, there were a few starry-eyed college students who came along about a year or so after the whole movement was beginning to go on the skids (once the MSM can tie a label to you, you stop being cutting edge, so sorry) who tried to tie it all to some vaguely “political” culture of mostly kindergarten Marxism and “liberation”, but aside from them and their dorm mates in freshly washed black jeans with shiny new safety pins in them, real punks couldn’t give a rat’s ass. “We’re pretty vacant, and we don’t care.”

Punks hated stock brokers as much as they hated hippies.

It’s all summed up by the quintessential punk of the cinema, Johnny from “The Wild Bunch”:

“What are you rebelling against?”

“Whadda ya got?”

Conservatives haven’t had a good film producer, director, actor, since Leni Riefenstahl .

John Milius? He’s certainly good by Conservative standards (ie his movies don’t suck and they’re about KILLING, often of COMMIES)

Blartlemania
The DeBlarti Code
Blarton Fink
Blart School Confidential
Under The Tuscan Blart
Napoleon Blartomite
Man in The Iron Blart
A Blart Grows in Brooklyn
My Night at Blarts
Sablarta
Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? – C’mmon, guess.

I hope that all Republicans offended by our nations turn away from Bush Jr. and Republicans choose to move further rightwards.

There’s hope.

From that linked poll:

the plurality of GOP voters (43%) say their party has been too moderate over the past eight years, and 55% think it should become more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future, according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey. Just 24% think failed presidential candidate John McCain is the best future model for the party, and 10% are undecided.

That’s a helluva spot to be in if them’s your choices, isn’t it? Kind of like being asked whether you prefer dog piss or donkey shit in your coffee.

C’mmon, guess.
Is it Sidney Blartier? Or just Will Smith pretending to be his nephew?

From those dodgy Frenchies:

Les Blartre Cent Coups
A Blart de Souffle
Bande a Blart
Les Triplettes de Blartville
L’Annee Derriere a Marienblart
La Blart Humaine

And from Hollywood: Blartberella

Joe Max,

Wouldn’t you agree, tho, that people like Patty Smith and Jello Biafra made political statements and that those statements, while clearly anti-establishment, became more virulent against conservatives than liberals?

That’s my recollection, particularly of some of the spoken word pieces that Smith recited around NYU.

One From the Blart
Around The Blart in Eighty Blarts
The Matrix: Blart

Le Blarton Rouge! L’Blartgent de Paulche! (Damn, now we’re getting into the classics…)

Well, there are several big producers in Hollywood who are Republicans (like Jerry Bruckheimer), but even on Broadway there is a small but growing minority of conservatives (I think David Mamet recently came out of the closet as a conservative).

I so very nearly came close to doing something very similar myself back in 2002; I was spending a morning walking around Père Lachaise Cemetery, but every American tourist I ran into only wanted to find Jim Morrisons Grave. Every single avenue I wandered down, as I stood by some equally incredible monument to some equally talented person, it was “Hey, which way to Jimbo?” from someone who’d heard he was buried there, and hadn’t even bothered to pick up a map at the gate to learn anything more, let alone where he actually was. At about the 50th time, I found myself with another myopic American couple (near Mozart or Saint Simone’s small headstone I think I was) and started to give them directions to the Communist and Revolutionary section of the cemetery instead… but caught myself before finishing, said something like “Oh sorry, I’m holding the map upside down”, and gave them the correct directions.

I wouldn’t mind so much, but Mojo Risin’ was the only one who needed a permanent armed guard on his grave, due to people either vandalizing the graves around his, or stealing his headstone. This is Europe though people; we don’t care if kiss Oscar Wilde’s monument, or even mount the bronze member of Victor Noir if you want… but do you have to be so vacantly celebrity obsessed about it all?

Next time I’m there, they are being sent to Maruice Thorez though, just for you Big Hollywood!

The thing is, that movie really blew anyway. Very disappointing.

Haha, An Englishman in Paris said I very nearly came.

I’ve witnessed egregious behavior overseas from Americans, but also from Brits, Germans, Aussies, and Dutch. Alcohol can turn anyone into a jerk. The worst case was in Prague, where a nice lunch in a small cafe on the Route of Kings was ruined by the arrival of a dozen or more pushy Germans, loudly demanding everything immediately. These folks put any of the minor stupidities by Americans we’ve witnessed to shame.

One point about who travels overseas. My wife was browsing in a shop on the Via Veneto in Rome when the sales clerk struck up a conversation with me. It was spring of 2004 and he wondered if Bush were going to be elected. When I replied that whatever happened, Bush would never get MY vote, the clerk shook his head. He had yet to meet a Bush supporter. Our theory was that Americans who supported Bush weren’t particularly interested in traveling abroad. Or, if they did, kept their support for the man undercover.

The writer, director, and producer of the film, Julie Delpy, is French, French and French.

She’s also adorable, adorable and adorable.

a212,

…Jello Biafra made political statements and that those statements, while clearly anti-establishment, became more virulent against conservatives than liberals?

Not if “California Über Alles” and “Holiday in Cambodia” (and a brief sideswipe in “Kill the Poor”) are anything to go by. Jello was an equal-opportunity hater. Haven’t really followed his later career, though, so maybe he became more exclusively anti-right over time.

The writer, director, and producer of the film, Julie Delpy, is French, French and French.
With apologies to our gracious hosts, Sadly, No!

Delpy lives in Los Angeles, California, and has been a naturalized citizen of the United States since 2001, although she also retains her French citizenship.

Thus making her American, French and Hot.

[Tintin adds: If she retains her French citizenship, it is completely accurate to call her French, n’est-ce pas?]

Bordo,

I live in NYC, and work in one of the most tourist-infested areas of Manhattan.

I’ve run into plenty of tourists, both on the streets and in the bars, restaurants and other establishments, American and not. I try to be helpful, despite my grudging wish they would all just go the hell away and leave my city alone.

Now, NYC is intimidating even to people from other large cities, like London or Tokyo, so there’s that to be said. On the whole, most tourists respect that, and will behave accordingly, asking politely, stepping out of your way if you need to rush past, and so on.

I would have to say that I’ve had more problems with people from Indiana than India, New England than England, and Florida than France. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it can be a doozy and it’s almost always an American.

Yes, people get drunk in bars and get rowdy, and I’ve seen both sides of that equation, but even then, the Americans cast this uniquely possessive net about themselves, like the city owes them for coming.

Mrs T,

Jello’s a member of the Green Party.

And besides, as absurdist as the Dead Kennedys were, I never took California Uber Alles as anything but self-referential satire.

Jello was an equal-opportunity hater. Haven’t really followed his later career, though, so maybe he became more exclusively anti-right over time.

From his album with Mojo Nixon, “Love Me, I’m A Liberal”

“I go to pro-choice rallies
Recycle my cans and jars
I’ll honk if you love the Dead
Hope those funny grunge bands become stars
But don’t talk about revolution
That’s going a little bit too far ”

http://www.lyricstime.com/jello-biafra-love-me-i-m-a-liberal-lyrics.html

It’s not so much that he’s an equal opportunity hater; he’s pretty consistantly far-left, rather it’s more that he hates the conformist, apathetic and unthinking mushy-middle.

WordPress seems to have eaten me. So to repeat, from his later album with Mojo Nixon:

http://www.lyricstime.com/jello-biafra-love-me-i-m-a-liberal-lyrics.html

“I go to pro-choice rallies
Recycle my cans and jars
I’ll honk if you love the Dead
Hope those funny grunge bands become stars
But don’t talk about revolution
That’s going a little bit too far ”

As mentioned, Biafra is a member of the Green party. It’s mostly the apathetic, unthinking mushball middle that Biafra hates, including those who flag themselves as “Liberals”

In keeping with the French theme, may I offer:

An American WereBlart in Paris

“He’s starting an “informal list of the worst anti-American and anti-conservative moments in film” (because of course anything that’s “anti-conservative” is by definition also “anti-American”).”

Well, shit, how about Casablanca? By his standards, that’s pretty fucking anti-conservative, isn’t it? Commies, Frenchmen and various scofflaws & ne’er-do-wells agitating against a perfectly legitimate conservative regime that’s Pro-Family, Pro-Business, Pro-Religion and Anti-Degenerate Art? Hell, those fashion plate Nazis were kick-ass Anti-Communists, weren’t they?

Methinks Romano’s favorite film is probably the little-seen, “controversial” Roger Meyers Sr. classic “Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors”.

Our theory was that Americans who supported Bush weren’t particularly interested in traveling abroad. Or, if they did, kept their support for the man undercover.

I’m guessing the first; Bush supporters, especially around 2004, would not have kept quiet about how wonderfully American they were.

I too have seen ugliness from many different nations’ tourists while out traveling, the worst case being some British folks in Sorrento basically demanding of a train station left-luggage attendant “Where were we at 3 a.m.? We’ve forgotten because we were drunk.” Only getting all angry at the attendant as though it were his fault. This being Italy, the attendant just hung up a “closed” sign and went on a break.

The Ugly Americans wound me more, though, because they’re representing my country.

Mmm… Green Jello.

And didn’t Phil Ochs write that song?

Biafra was also on the Rock Against Bush tour in 2004.

Also (since I brought up Casablanca):

“Casablarta”

I bet he really threw a fit over Kal Penn’s t-shirt in early in the first harold and Kumar movie. It begins with “I like Bush”

I can’t finish the rest of it at work…

Originally.

The fact is, George W. Bush will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents of all time.

The fact is, George W. Bush will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents of all time.

According to Laura he never goes down.

The fact is, George W. Bush will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents of all time.

Indeed, it will take a while to knock him out of the top 50.

Hey, you know what the French call a Big Mac? Le Big Mac! And they put mayonnaise on their French fries; they love that shit!

>The fact is, George W. Bush will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents of all time

He kept us safe…from any additional boxcutter attacks.

The Hunchblart of Notre Dame

Everybody from everywhere, if you travel will encounter some of their countrymen being jerks. My parents have stories about encountering ugly Americans that all end with one of them saying “we’re not all like that” and my Japanese host family even had a story about fellow Japanese tourists in Guam. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist nailed it though. Its your own countrymen that embarrass you more.

“Now, NYC is intimidating even to people from other large cities, like London or Tokyo, so there’s that to be said.”

Like fuck it is. New York’s way less intimidating to a Londoner than pretty much any non-Anglophone city, least of all Tokyo, where street names are more or less non-existent and English speakers are far fewer than you might expect (and Londoners do expect, sadly).

Tintin adds

Well yeah, I guess. But if she’s a naturalized American then perhaps “French, American and French” might be more accurate. Still Hot though.

Englishman in Paris, why does Mozart have a headstone in that cemetery? Or does he? Maybe you meant Chopin?

Was thar sub-titles in that thar movie. If it ain’t sub-titled how the hell are ya supposed to know it’s all Frenchy and shit.

Okay, I’ve waited long enough.

Julie Delpy is Franco-American? Man I’d like to handle those cans. I’d heat her up and eat her, if you know what…

An Englishman In Paris said “seems to have eaten me.” hhuhhhuhhh.

Which makes me think of this: Beavis and Blarthead

Notwithstanding the sheer comedy that is winger outrage over these anecdotes-as-proof that justify their bitterness and paranoia, I do have to admit that if the converse situation were portrayed (exaggerated performance of effete, latte-loving liberals sporting “Obama for Change” being misdirected), I wouldn’t be able to stomach more.

Then again, while recognizing the scene for what it was, stereotypical propoganda, I’d move on with my life and not feel the need to bitch about it to all my friends on the innerwebs.

“I was in Nagasaki on the 50th anniversary of the bombing”

I was too! Well, not quite – I took part in Nagasaki’s Peace Marathon in March.

It is a good movie, by the way. Adam Goldberg plays a somewhat self-centered jerk (not horrible) and the scene is an early indication of his jerkness, fitting right in with the movie.

New York’s way less intimidating to a Londoner than pretty much any non-Anglophone city

It’s still fairly intimidating. I’ve had friends over and they’ll tell me that they’d rather ride the Tube than the subway system and good grief, but they can’t figure out Soho for the lives of them.

WordPress seems to have eaten me.

Hmm. Normally that statement is made in a different tense, ie “WordPress can fucking eat me”.

Incidentally, the actor playing the terra-appeasin’ traitor-lefty? Adam Goldberg. An actor whose oeuvre consists of playing a total dick.

I’ve actually seen this movie and if Romano had stuck with it for a while longer, he might have noticed that Goldberg stayed in character. He was a total dick, and the fact that Julie never figured this out ruined the movie for me.

Methinks Romano’s favorite film is probably the little-seen, “controversial” Roger Meyers Sr. classic “Nazi Supermen Are Our Superiors”.

More likely it’s “Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.”

“It’s still fairly intimidating. I’ve had friends over and they’ll tell me that they’d rather ride the Tube than the subway system and good grief, but they can’t figure out Soho for the lives of them.”

That’s because the Tube’s better

Seriously though, if that counts as intimidating, then they must be pretty cossetted. NY is way more tourist friendly than London. The Tube and London public transport in general is designed very much for locals, with visitors being utterly ripped off. The grid layout makes navigation a snap. You’re much less likely to encounter random violence and public drunkenness in Manahttan than central London. I suppose the taxi situation isn’t great in NY, but I’ve never had to use one because of the public transport.

As an Englishman, I do not of course intend any of these entendres you are seeing; I shall however engage in quite uncouth fisticuffs, if you were to host my local athletic 11 men, with their leather balls, and jolly short shorts. I believe the usual tradition is to host them inside a large, usually oval and hollow object, whilst we shall run merrily around outside causing trouble without paying much attention to the local owners of the oval’s wishes.

But yes, idiots are universal; but it’s only the Anglo-Saxon nations that seem to be curiously reticent about learning how to at least be dumb in someone else’s language too… that’s what makes us especially ugly abroad I think, that we don’t even care to know what others are saying about us, but hate and despise them instead for what we imagine they may be thinking.

You’re much less likely to encounter random violence and public drunkenness in Manahttan than central London.

Clearly you’ve never been on a date with me.

One reason Europeans might think so badly of Americans is American movies. We export everything over there, including the most awful Hollywood dreck. I’d look over the cineplexes in Paris and just cringe at some of the titles.

Whereas, the foreign films that make it over here tend to be award-winning, thoughtful stuff. I guess they have to be, because they’re aimed at American intellectuals (meaning persons who are capable of reading subtitles).

I’d look over the cineplexes in Paris and just cringe at some of the titles.

And yet those Parisians see the movies.

Americans who go to a non-English-speaking country often assume that they’re the only people around who know English.

Once, this friend of mine was riding the Paris Métro [subway] and there were these two American girls, sisters, sitting across from her. One of the sisters began telling the other about her sex life, and in graphically intimate detail. I mean, think of stuff that would have gotten censored from ‘Sex in the City’—the HBO version.

My friend thought about coughing and saying something like ‘Nice weather today,’ or whatever, in English, just so the sisters would know she could understand them. She didn’t, but she could feel herself getting redder and redder. Hopefully, they couldn’t tell from that

The Blart Witch Project
All Ablart Eve
Wasn’t there a pirate movie about Black Blart?

Man, I saw all the comments and hopped in expecting another RedState/Truthy trollfest.

Instead I’ve stumbled upon another Blart party.

huh-huh-huh-huh. Now that English feller said “balls.” huhhh.

Ecrasez les blarte!
No, srsly.

Fini l’orgie du “l’blart pour l’blart,” s’il-vous plait. C’est stupide. Chaque fois que je vois le blart je peux sentir de mort de quelques plus cerveau-cellules. Pour chaque poteau utilisant le “blart” un chaton est déjà mort – arrêtez-le. J’aime des chatons.

That photo of the guy in his undies is rather disturbing.

Je mange des chatons. Ou quelque chose comme ça.

Whereas, the foreign films that make it over here tend to be award-winning, thoughtful stuff.
The French make their fair share of mindless popcorn-munching action stuff. Possibly they have a low profile in the US because each one quickly turns into a Hollywood remake.

The Red Blartoon

huh-huh-huh-huh. Now that English feller said “balls.” huhhh.

And gentlemen who play Rugby have funny shaped balls… but I’m not sure I’m understanding your interest in them, dear girl?

New York’s way less intimidating to a Londoner than pretty much any non-Anglophone city, least of all Tokyo, where street names are more or less non-existent and English speakers are far fewer than you might expect (and Londoners do expect, sadly).

In the Tokyo subway, I practically had to chase away helpful folks who wanted to practice their English by helping me to navigate the system.

That being said, NYC is only intimidating due to its size, once a visitor figures out the grid system, it’s cake. Also, we are not rude people, but brusque people, if you can blart (sic) out what you need to know in concise, economical fashion, you will be helped.

I didn’t think rugby was played by any gentlemen.

Having Gary Ruppert/Rupert Garry go sadlyno on the Big Romano’s own blog was delicious.

Damn, I always knew Ruppert was a Frenchie in amphibious disguise.

heh, jim said je peux sentir de mort. Le petit mort, peut-être?

Only been to NYC once, but I found the people helpful. One clerk went out of her way to give me multiple routes (on foot, by bus, etc) to a location. Granted, I was in Manhattan the whole time, but still. LOVED it.

Le petit mort, peut-être?

Five times in one day once, but I was nineteen.

Ken,

The outer boroughs are a bit more confusing, but they are laid out in a similar grid-like fashion, altho not to the rigidity or sequence that Manhattan is. The confusing bit is, while avenues run east-west and streets run north-south, due to the physical size of the boroughs, you can actually have a 71st Street intersect with 71st Avenue, and the street will be next to 71st Drive, 71st Blvd., 71st Lane…

B^4, you’re right. We Noo Yawkers have hearts of gold when it comes to helping people out, for the most part. And like you, I find plenty of people in other countries actually preferring to speak English to me.

Which means all those lessons were for naught. I have found the best way to get help in a foreign country is to know one or two useful phrases and then slip into English. They’ll usually follow.

Well, someone needs to apologize for Renault.
No love for Billy Blarty?

I’d look over the cineplexes in Paris and just cringe at some of the titles.

Yes, well, those folks thought Jerry Lewis was a genius, so who knows what you’d need to apologize for.

One clerk went out of her way to give me multiple routes (on foot, by bus, etc) to a location.
I often have that experience, though the destination suggested is usually more infernal than the one I had in mind.

Smut, I usually get only one set of directions there: “And the horse you rode in on!”

In the midst of all this blarting, y’all have missed that the comments to the Big Hollywood post are pure gold. They’re swapping tales of being offended by Hollywood movies. It’s even pettier than you can imagine, some have lists.

In Transformers (a film geared towards the young and impressionable) the president on air force on was depicted as a ding-dong eating lounge lizard that the flight crew had contempt for. The didn’t say it was Bush but clearly it was.

There was a moment in Alexander Payne’s “Sideways” when Paul Giamatti goes into a fat hick’s home while she has ugly, perverted sex with her fat hick husband, whilst George Bush makes a speech on TV. That put a stick in my craw (imagine putting a scene in a movie where some New York hipster whacked off to Al Gore’s Invonvenient Truth… Lefties wouldn’t appreciate that either, I assure).

Three Kings: advertised as an ultra-hip heist film–instead we get George Clooney dropping “George Bush” around like it’s a cuss word. A captured GI is forced to drink oil by the guy torturing him. Uh huh. Subtle.

Yes, well, those folks thought Jerry Lewis was a genius, so who knows what you’d need to apologize for.

I always thought the French considered Lewis a “genius” for the same reason we thought Peter Sellers (and now Steve Martin?) as Inspector Closeau was funny: mutual trans-Atlantic loathing.

Anthony: the majority of the world and the majority of Americans make fun of Bush because he is a terrible stupid immoral failure, not because he is a right-winger.

If you don’t believe Jerry Lewis is a genius just ask him.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our first crossover.

Hope you enjoy your stay, Anthony.

Couple threads down you can make Paul Bart: Mall Cop jokes, and oh yeah go fuck yourself.

That typo is totally the fault of Wordblart.

Any sufficiently big city is going to be intimidating. New York has its reputation, Tokyo is a bona fide maze because Shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu wanted it to be hard to invade (for good reason) and Tokyoites aren’t as polite as the stereotypes about Japanese people would lead you to believe. If you aren’t prepared, rush hour can be truly terriifying (one of my classmates was nearly carried off of the subway car by a human wave). And Tokyo taxis hate picking up foreigners who don’t know how Tokyo taxis work. I suppose the fear of damage is real.

There’s a great part in Lewis’s The Total Film-Maker in which he confesses to licking emulsion. I believe him.

I remember a friend who was an Ole Miss student a couple of years ago talking about a class trip (art history) to NYC. Her classmates were terrified. One girl wanted to know if they have ATMs there.

This is a weird state.

(imagine putting a scene in a movie where some New York hipster whacked off to Al Gore’s Invonvenient Truth… Lefties wouldn’t appreciate that either, I assure)

I dunno. That chick in the first row of the lecture hall is teh hawt!

There’s a great part in Lewis’s The Total Film-Maker in which he confesses to licking emulsion.

Surprisingly enough that is the only non-debunked way to get cello scrotum.

Anthony is cutting and pasting from the Big Hollywood comments, folks.

I’m apparently a stupid Blarthole. Oh well.

Licking decals can cause beef-heart.

So can feeding beans to honeybees, Smut.

“There was a moment in Alexander Payne’s “Sideways” when Paul Giamatti goes into a fat hick’s home while she has ugly, perverted sex with her fat hick husband, whilst George Bush makes a speech on TV. That put a stick in my craw (imagine putting a scene in a movie where some New York hipster whacked off to Al Gore’s Invonvenient Truth… Lefties wouldn’t appreciate that either, I assure).”

That’s nothing! In Abbot & Cosello Meet Sir Kenneth Clarke, there’s a scene where Bush giggles and masturbates while watching videotaped scenes of corpses floating in the streets of New Orleans. But it’s not until he breaks out the taped footage of Iraqi war dead that he manages to achieve multiple orgasms.

julie delpy lives in LA. she isn’t very french anymore–she’s been here for years.

what she is on the other hand is smart and talented WITH A POINT OF VIEW all her own. the people who financed her movie (as i happen to actually know) don’t share her political opinions, but they liked the script and the low budget/high dvd sales of its prequel. so it was a nice business proposition. this was and ever shall be the facts of hollywood and of financing movies here, and never shall idiots like anthony understand.

since bighollywood’s central premise is so stupid and false (and always will be) you can keep picking individual posts out for ridicule. you will find that this is a waste of time. the very existence of the site itself makes ridicule obsolete–it is some kind of recursive robot-of-the-stupid, creating post after post of idiocy.

sigh.

he confesses to licking emulsion

Whose “emulsion” and why does ‘e lick it?

My mother came back from her whirlwind tour of the Orient complaining about the Japanese.

They wouldn’t speak English to her all the time!

They responded coolly to her “Howdy! We’re best friends even though I’ve never seen you before in my life!” hyper-friendliness!

Translation: They wouldn’t treat me like Americans are the bestest evah!

I tried to explain to her that she had a lot of nerve expecting the Japanese to kiss her ass, much less to do it because she was an American with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. She cried.

But Jiminy Christmas, you’re in another country and you don’t bother to learn anything about their culture, then you’re offended when they treat you like the Ugly American you’re being?

The real clincher was when I asked her why she thinks the Japanese have to exhibit the courtesy of speaking English to her in Tokyo, when too many Americans are so fucking rude and ignorant that they not only can’t speak Japanese to their tourists in America, they would be horrified at the notion of even attempting it. And that’s just the language, never mind some of the less obvious cultural behavior differences.

Hell, I had every Japanese and Korean customer asking for me by name at one post office I worked at, simply because I bowed to them, if only a little, when serving them. They noticed. They remembered. And what did it hurt me?

So can feeding beans to honeybees, Smut.
Would these be big-eyed beans from Venus? I always get them confused with the aubergine that ate Rangoon.

Hell, I had every Japanese and Korean customer asking for me by name at one post office I worked at, simply because I bowed to them, if only a little, when serving them.

That is chock full o’ win, but I’d be afraid I’d fuck it up or do it to the wrong person or something and offend them.

The confusing bit is, while avenues run east-west and streets run north-south, due to the physical size of the boroughs, you can actually have a 71st Street intersect with 71st Avenue, and the street will be next to 71st Drive, 71st Blvd., 71st Lane…

Yeah, Queens still kicks my ass. I believe the root of the problem is that the old blocks were chopped up into smaller lots for houses, so Lanes, Ways, Places, et al. had to be inserted. Then Robert Moses ran the damn highways through, leading to intermittent roadways. Brooklyn is much more navigable, and the Bronx is the motherland, or bad motherland.

B^4, you’re right. We Noo Yawkers have hearts of gold when it comes to helping people out, for the most part. And like you, I find plenty of people in other countries actually preferring to speak English to me.

Heh, I had a Romanian girl in Florence demand that I speak English in a bar… took me a while to figure out that she was a “B girl” and the place was sort of like a brothel… “artistic conversation” was not what I thought it would be. On the other hand, parlare la lingua made what should have been a sucky three hour train ride from Padua to Florence an excellent occasion, in which some old dude told me all about his rich American friend who lived a few towns over from me.

“I try to be helpful, despite my grudging wish they would all just go the hell away and leave my city alone.”

I remember a Letterman show which began, “From New York! Don’t come here! It’s Late Night with David Letterman!”

leading to intermittent roadways
Intermittent Roadway = best street address Evah (even better than Utopia Parkway). Or else a typical NZ roadside warning sign.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inaccessible_Island

I remember a Letterman show which began, “From New York! Don’t come here! It’s Late Night with David Letterman!”

I lobbied hard for the city motto to be changed to “Welcome To NY. Leave your money and get out”

That, or at least raise the kill limit during tourist season.

Aquaria: Why do you hate Amurika? And your mother?

Once, this friend of mine was riding the Paris Métro [subway] and there were these two American girls, sisters, sitting across from her. One of the sisters began telling the other about her sex life, and in graphically intimate detail. I mean, think of stuff that would have gotten censored from ‘Sex in the City’—the HBO version.

If it’s any consolation to your friend, I suspect those girls would do that in English-speaking cities and countries too.

Cant believe no-one has pointed this out, but its not ‘Gare De Nord’, its ‘Gare Du Lyon’, an altogether much nicer part of the city. Gare Du Nord is intimidating at the best of time, particularly at night, when drugged up fuckers wander around randomly shouting. I saw one of the worst attempted arrests there at 11pm, when three police got a good shit-kicking from some pissed up druggie, who seemed to have superhuman strength.

Can’t let this go, don’t know if anyone’s addressed it yet.

“…Jello Biafra made political statements and that those statements, while clearly anti-establishment, became more virulent against conservatives than liberals?”

Not if “California Über Alles” and “Holiday in Cambodia” (and a brief sideswipe in “Kill the Poor”) are anything to go by. Jello was an equal-opportunity hater. Haven’t really followed his later career, though, so maybe he became more exclusively anti-right over time.

“Nazi Punks, Fuck Off” mean anything? “Holiday…” was obvious irony, “Kill the Poor” was a sarcastic swipe at the militarist fantasy of the right of killing the rest of the world while leaving their property intact for the taking with the neutron bomb. “California Uber Alles” was a swipe at liberalism, not leftism. As is the name of the band, for that matter.

Ahem, from Wikipedia (hey, it’s easy):

Politically, Jello is a member of the Green Party[1] and actively supports leftist political causes. Biafra ran for the party’s Presidential nomination in 2000, finishing second to Ralph Nader.[2] He is a self-identified anarchist[1] who advocates civil disobedience, direct action, culture jamming and pranksterism in the name of political change. Biafra is known to use absurdist media tactics in the tradition of the Yippies to highlight issues of civil rights, social justice, economic populism, boosterism, anti-corporatism, peace movements, anti-consumerism, environmentalism, anti-globalization, universal health care, LGBT rights, anti-capitalism, reproductive rights, feminism, and the separation of church and state.

Not exactly apolitical in other words. That it’s only the second paragraph of a fairly long and detailed wiki article indicates the relative importance of his poltics to his public persona.

The punk scene I remember was always political- further left than left, radically anarchistic. Those people were angry. Sure there were people who were apolitical, but they were the ones I recall most likely to be dismissed as posers, in it for the clothes, the drugs, the moshpit. But then, that was Miami in the early ’80s- hardly the center of the scene, right?

Besides, compare it to the political expression in pretty much any other rock genre of the late 70s and 80s. Metal? Southern Rock? Prog-Rock? Hell, if you’re looking for apolitical rock music of the time, you’d look anywhere BUT at punk.

Ok, enough of that. Sorry for the rant. Still love ya, Mrs. T.

Anyway, in keeping with the rest of the thread…

Ahem:
The Umbrellas of Cherblart.

Oh, and I’ve got a few funny ugly American stories overseas stories too. When I was in the Navy, the carrier I was on visited Hong Kong. Now, I’ve loved Chinese food all my life and was really looking forward to the real thing. I got off the liberty boat and was mildly horrified to see about a thousand (no exaggeration) of my shipmates in a snaking and shoving line waiting to get into the McDonald’s on the pier. Couldn’t fucking believe it. Well, hell, we’d been away from the US for a whole month- who could go that long without a quarter-pounder?

Last summer, I was in Tokyo walking by Shinagawa station when an American guy (by his accent) in his 40s stopped me and asked if I knew where the McDonald’s was. It was right across the street, so I just pointed to it and said, “right over there, in the station. I’m going right by it, just follow me.” While we waited for the light to change, he looked embarrassed. As we crossed, he said out of nowhere that he wasn’t eating there, he was just meeting somebody. I guess he knew all too well what kind of yanks eat at McD’s in a great restaurant city like Tokyo and didn’t want me thinking he was one of them.

I know a guy there who, travelling a lot on business, basically divides his time between Tokyo, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Manila. He rarely eats anywhere but McD’s, Hard Rock, Tony Roma’s, or Denny’s. He’s actually a really nice guy, and neither conservative nor Republican, just completely unadventurous when it comes to food.

Speaking of Tokyo and anti-Americanism in movies, has anyone else in this country seen The Glorious Life of Sachiko Hanai? Just saying, if that scene in Paris bugs Romano, he’ll love seeing the animated severed finger of GWB raping the smartest woman in the world.

Wasn’t it Thomas Haden Church the one who went into the room, while Giammati’s character was waiting outside in the car? It’s been a few years since I’ve seen the mo—oh, sorry, beside the point. Never mind.

Intermittent Roadway

FYWP! My Inaccessible Island link got eaten.

Anyway, this little lost lamb can go console himself at America’s #1 hit Taken. He’ll love it. It’s all about how Albanian white-slavers infest Paris, filching our virgins even from the appallingly luxurious Seine-view palaces where they’re staying for the summer. And of course the smelly Frenchies are in on it, and only a real Amurrican has the guts to fly there and kick enough ass to save his daughter from the garlicky forced embrace of foreigners.
Or if he prefers, he can go see next week’s stupid #1 hit The Pink Panther 2. In short, I sometimes believe we Americans are more sinning than sinned against.

The French make their fair share of mindless popcorn-munching action stuff. Possibly they have a low profile in the US because each one quickly turns into a Hollywood remake.

Wasabi is fucking brilliant though. Jean Reno fights the Yakuza in Japan and bonds with the Japanese daughter he never knew he had.

RobW said,

Can’t let this go, don’t know if anyone’s addressed it yet.

Joe Max did point out, tho, that Jello and the DKs were part of the second generation of punk, which he admits was more political.

I didn’t have a problem with the comments on the Big Hollywood site. mainly because I grew up moving all around the world. Americans do get treated like shite in certain parts of France, regardless of wardrobe. I took the poster to mean that anyone dressed in what Hollywood deems Flyover Country wear, should be castigated as a charicature. As someone who was born in the reddest of red states, I agree. Time for Hollywood to quit defecating on those who choose to look differently, or vote differently. The most respect to Americans that I see is in China, then maybe Austrailia. France, not so much. I remember how absolutely shitty we were treated living there in the 60’s. I will pass.

While living overseas for a total of eleven years on three different continents, the most offensive Americans I encountered were not the “If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium” types, most of whom, by the way, are pretty well-behaved.

The most offensive ones were those uber-libs who curried favor with their Euro conversation partners by dissing America and agreeing with every nasty and insulting thing uttered about our country. What they did not seem to realize is that these Euro-weenies despise ALL Americans and laugh up their sleeves at such obviously needful people.

One does not begin to understand Americans abroad until one lives as one and with them for a few years. As for “Ugly American” tourists, they are just as plentiful as Ugly Russians, Ugly Brits (their football fan exports are loathed everywhere), Ugly Chinese, and Ugly Slavs.

If you want to get a taste of their total hypocrisy about race, stand in a customs line after debarking a plane behind someone with darker skin – shades of darkness do not matter. Inevitably, the customs officer will grill them four or five times longer than any Caucasian. Alternatively, you can watch Sky News programming to catch their racial innuendos that elicit laughs rather than a switch to commercial and return sans the joking news reader as would happen here faster than you can say “Polish joke.”

Spend some time along the Mediterranean coast in August and you will get to see tourist hell acted out by virtually every nationality on the Continent replete with behavior that makes college spring breaks in along the Florida coasts look like Benediction services on a Sunday afternoon.

You all seem to enjoy falling victim to stereotype-itis, something the Euro-chattering classes you seem to worship so much can spot in a nano-second after which they will spend your time with them laughing at you behind your backs. Time to get real, folks.

Hey, you guys. This thread died weeks ago.