My New Favorite Blogger

The Anchoress has been mocked on this site in the past, but perhaps it really is time to engage face-to-face rather than criticize from afar:

Pajamas Media Bloggers go bye-bye

… the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.

Mmm, I was just thinking I could use a good scare.


Gavin adds:


Above: Boo!

 

Comments: 285

 
 
 

What does her cup size have to do with her “deteriorating attention span”? I think an active intervention is called for.

 
 

Don’t you love it that the Internet’s most pro-war, pro-torture, “blow-them-up” audience would be terrified of boobs?

 
 

Just once I’d like to hear, “It’s not Jesus, it’s my Mom’s and gradmother’s tits.”

 
 

And he opens the evening with a typo!

 
 

HD is a really big cup size.

 
 

Not that I have even a passing interest in the Anchoress’ boobs, but has it occurred to anyone that she might be, oh I don’t know, pretending?

If you’ll excuse me, I think I hear the door. Time to lie down with man!

 
 

From The Anchoress’ comment section:

Jesus promised to provide all our needs and if you have a financial need He will provide it.

Probably one of Bush’s former economic advisers.

 
 

shorter anchoress…. it’s all about MEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee…

 
 

So The Anchoress has big tits and can’t go on TV. And this is what the wingnuts have come to. Elections do have consequences.

 
 

Holy hell, I thought that was one of your shorters.

 
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We are interested in sponsoring two thirty-second spots featuring the Anchoress, shown during “Lost”.

 
 

the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.

I think I speak for all feminist and alleged non-feminist double-mastectomy recipients everywhere when I say “Fuck yourself sideways, cunt.”

 
 

Does this complaint (my tits are too big for TV) not strike you as transparently bogus? I mean, it’s like apologizing because the sex was too good.

I think she’s just trying to, erm, get her readership’s attention. The LORD would probably frown on nudie pix but as any good ex-Catholic knows, hormones are little match for God’s anger.

Frankly, it’s better for all involved if she would just give up the nun shtick and go out, have sex, and enjoy it.

Am I wrong that she’s basically K-Lo with less of a resemblance to purple fast-food marketing puppets?

 
 

he Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.

Man, she must really be living in a hole in a friggin’ wall. A phrase you will never, ever hear: “No, sorry, your hooters are much, much to big for television work.” Seriously.

 
 

Since I never click through and don’t follow the msm or right-wing blogs, I don’t believe any of these people — not the Anchoress, that Atlas, the asian cheerleader, the odd couple with the large mouths, the ugly dude with the skinny face, the uglier dude with the viking hat, Pajamas Media itself etc. etc. — actually exist.

This is all just part of the fun, correct?

 
 

hormones are little match for God’s anger.

Eep. Too much editing.

 
 

Probably one of Bush’s former economic advisers.

Madoff. Madon.

Teh Madder!

 
 

Umm…is this a real quote or a “shorter”?

 
 

Let us pray this isn’t the beginning of a trend. If any PJmeatytaters start talking about how their ball sacks wouldn’t fit in a TV studio I may have to kill myself.

 
 

g said,

February 1, 2009 at 3:39

Umm…is this a real quote or a “shorter”?

No. And now you’re sorry you asked and I’m sorry I’ve burdened you with this terrible knowledge.

 
 

Umm…is this a real quote or a “shorter”?

Oh, it’s all too real.

This has been another edition of, “You (Really) Don’t Want To Know”

 
 

Merciful memory loss forbids knowledge of The Anchoresses’es’ physical what-not, but I’ve a sneaking suspicion that her chestal endowment is not overgenerous, but balances her plainness of face & excess of weight. Generally breasts of “terrifying” size are accompanied by over terrifying aspects. And as a human, not cattle, I am easily frightened by that sort of thing.

Shorter: kn hz pik?

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.

You know, it’s been my experience that the generously-endowed women of the world typically find a way to moderate the, er, impact of their glands. Such strategies usually kick in quite early, since affected women learn quite quickly that men will otherwise spend a lot of time talking to organs that don’t talk back. From a male point of view, these strategies are remarkably effective–I remember that, as a seventh grader, I often wondered why what was there yesterday was not there today, until a female friend of mine explained about the different kinds of brassieres, slapped me upside the head, and told me to stop checking out my classmates’ tits. (Gawd, I miss her.)

Moreover, it’s been my experience that one doesn’t post a comment like the Anchoress’s unless one is essentially an attention whore–that is, a woman who loves to soak up the attention of lonely drooling cretins, yet takes a certain joy in sending females into fits of rage. What she fails to understand is that the feminine rage arises not from jealousy at her endowments–I know any number of amply-endowed women who don’t behave like that–but from sheer fury that yet another woman is pimping herself out and creating unrealistic expectations for the rest of the feminine half (approximating) of humanity.

In short, I hate people, and people like the Anchoress are moderately high on my shit list. They’re not at the top of the list, no doubt to their chagrin, but that’s just obvious; they’re not Hitlers or Stalins or anything of the sort. They’re just penny-ante assholes who are best treated with brief contempt, and then ignored.

 
 

And by “other” terrifying aspects, as well.

 
 

Lonely Drooling Cretins

I was in that band, man!!

 
 

Where a shirt with a high neck. Or a collar. Wear tops that are not sheer. Dont’ aim camera below your shoulders.

Problem solved.

Except, as we all know, there is no problem. “Teehee, by bewbs are just toooo biiiig!” is the call of the attention-needing, annoying, high-maintenance woman.

 
 

the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.

I would think that you could get some specialized lens for that kind of thing.

 
 

And who says “chestal” without being ironic, anyway?

 
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on a scale of one to ten, K-Lo’s gams?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means that the sun is about to set.

Those aren’t small men, anchoress!

Jesus promised to provide all our needs and if you have a financial need He will provide it.

Probably one of Bush’s former economic advisers Pat Robertson.

That’s how I read it.

 
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Could it be that the lack of trolls here has to do with the ‘lifeboat mentality’ at the PJM related sites? That SN was infected by sockpuppets-wingnuts and those germs have run their course?

 
 

“Teehee, by bewbs are just toooo biiiig!” is the call of the attention-needing, annoying, high-maintenance woman.

It’s the call of the fat girl at last call. Guaranteed.

 
 

I would think that you could get some specialized lens for that kind of thing.

The bazoom lens.*

*I loved Match Game!

 
 

kn hz pik?

Very not want.
Profile pic inflicted enough heeby-jeeby points already, thx.

Shirtier Anchoress: yes, America’s neocon community may be having a mite rough time of it now, but in my heart of hearts – HEY, guys, CHECK OUT THESE HONKERS!

 
 

Truly, there is no emergency that can’t be handled by cartoonishly oversized body parts.

 
 

Jim, did you really mean “shirtier?”

 
 

Upon returning & seeing the Gavin-added photo:

YIKES!! Terrifying indeed. Izzat a Fu Manchu she’s sporting?

 
 

Jim, did you really mean “shirtier?”

Well, she does claim to be shirtier in her frontal chestal region due to the terrifyingly overgenerous nature of her globular appendages.

 
 

Jesus promised to provide all our needs and if you have a financial need He will provide it.

I think they’re confusing Jesus with Crespo Dollar.

 
 

I gather Joe the Plumber’s tits met with approval.

 
 

Sweet Blood of Jesus, she put that picture of herself on her own blog!

(Got that Curt Swan chin going. Damn.)

 
 

What does her cup size have to do with her “deteriorating attention span”?

They are sucking all the blood away from her brain.

 
 

Righteous Bubba said,

February 1, 2009 at 5:15

Shirty.

I, for one, will not sit about idly while you pollute this blog with your blasphemy!

 
 

They are sucking all the blood away from her brain.

You’re thinking of her party registration.

 
 

Sir Too Shirt coming straight from Oakland.

 
 

The Bonzos.

Harmony has been restored, the universe may continue (for a couple of minutes, or so).

Hanx, MB!

 
 

You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that the decision to start rolling out closure of wingnut welfare coincides far too neatly with Bush flacks running a lot of completely unaccountable money.

I mean, billions of dollars have basically disappeared. I’d guess most of it went to the most proximal thieves, but Jesus – after all they’ve stolen, a few tens of millions thrown at shouty wingnuts here and there is nothing.

(If there is in fact a taxpayer element to this particular wingnut welfare, I’d wager that Pajamas was meant to make it last through at least one hostile Administration – but they got greedy, and the goose that laid the bullshit egg got gutted tout de suite.

 
 

I clicked the link, and she * indicates that she was joking about the massive hooters thing.

I also noticed that she was mad that, given the Iraq elction a few days back, Obama did not tell the troops what a great job they did. Apparently, any time the Iraqis do anything more meaningful then, say, finishing a cup of coffee in the morning, the president is supposed to run out and congratulate the troops. Or something. I dunno.

 
 

Truly, there is no emergency that can’t be handled by cartoonishly oversized body parts.
In fact this is the motto of my clan.

 
 

the goose that laid the bullshit egg got gutted tout de suite.
You effete urban snobs know what you can do with your fancy French cuisine.

 
 

Jim, did you really mean “shirtier?”

Heh & even indeed I did.

Anchoresses Away!1!!

 
 

I also noticed that she was mad that, given the Iraq elction a few days back, Obama did not tell the troops what a great job they did. Apparently, any time the Iraqis do anything more meaningful then, say, finishing a cup of coffee in the morning, the president is supposed to run out and congratulate the troops. Or something. I dunno.

The best metaphor I’ve heard for the entire process before us is the grown-ups taking over. The wingnuts are gonna be real angry when the slightest positive development is not accompanied by grand theatrics and cake, and it’s gonna take some getting used to for all of us not being condescended to by some duded-up nitwit whenever an Iraqi takes a shit without producing blood.

 
 

You effete urban snobs know what you can do with your fancy French cuisine.

On y fait merveilles, ah hon hon hon.

 
 

Her hair-shirt cup overfloweth.

Something something yadda yadda two sleeping does yadda yadda.

 
 

Thank you, ittdgy. Yours was much more entertaining.

When did they start putting good stuff on YouTube™?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Got that Curt Swan chin going. Damn.

I’d bet 100,000 shares of Lehman Bros. stock that her dewlap is as pendulous as her creameries!

 
 

dewlap

Love that word.

 
 

How many Nuns that you know of brag about their breast size?

 
 

How many Nuns that you know of brag about their breast size?

It is a standing rule in my house not to know any nuns, except in a biblical sense.

 
 

As someone who spent fifteen years being harassed every conceivable way, including by various doctors and insurance company personnel in an attempt to get mine reduced to a rational size, I’m sympathetic to the desire to keep one’s breasts relatively private.

Because, holy shit, considering how much we all know our tits are public property to begin with, try announcing you want ’em bobbed. Every asshole on the planet has an opinion, and every straight male takes it as some kind of personal affront. Neighborhood men you’ve never fucking exchanged two words with will afterward treat you like you’ve *stolen* something from them. Because, hey, those aren’t just your fucking mammary glands, they’re scenery every man has a god-given right to.

And the women buy it, too. Doctors, nurses, receptionists, all of whom should fucking know better, demanding to know what the men in your life want, as though your boobs were their property by right of blood or marriage, and deciding your post-op size based on what aesthetics they think you owe the rest of the world.

Her little giggling token protest is pretty good evidence the Anchoress is another one who thinks that way.

And boys, more than a few of you have a lot more in common with her than you’d like to admit.

 
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They aren’t really breasts. She’s smuggling Michelle Malkin and Chris Wallace.
Shrimp jokes!!!

 
Doctor Missus Marita
 

Gavin, I think you meant your caption to read: “Boo(bs)!”

 
 

And boys, more than a few of you have a lot more in common with her than you’d like to admit.

It’s true. Lot’s of guys I know are afraid of going on camera because they are… shall we say, “over-endowed.” When they finally want eye contact badly enough, some will consider a little reduction. But try going to the doctor’s office and asking them to “make it smaller.” It’s all, “what does your girlfriend think?” or, “you have been given a wonderful gift, why would you want to throw it away?.”

It’s like, am I a person or just a pedestal for my freakishly large sexual organs?

 
 

I must admit, I have seen breasts that were so large they were terrifying. Now, each one was bigger than a basketball, and they dangled from the woman’s chest, attached by small strip of skin (imagine two giant Christmas tree ornaments made of flesh). These were not “hooters”–these were in the “debilitating deformity” category.

 
 

French Kermode Bear with Magnificent Stuffed Cheeses

I’m not 100% sure of this recipe. I will check with the person who taught me how to make it and get back to you. This is what I remember:

Ingredients:
1 pound Kermode bear
1 teaspoon cheese
1 cup enticing real milk, defensively pickled
5 teaspoons ethical tubeshoulder tail
1 cup soy sauce
5 sticks cocoa

Importantly begin praying. Separate Kermode bear toe from tentacle. Inflate tentacle. Use a food processor to stir the real milk with the cheese. Stuff the resulting goo into the Kermode bear. Stir the tubeshoulder tail, soy sauce, and the cocoa lovingly. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Leave raw. Serves 1 precarious individuals with delicious stomachs.

 
 

Nobody’s boobs are too big for tv; she just means she’s not thin like Coulter and the other Republican eye candy. I’ll bet she has a little voodoo doll of Kathyrn Jean Lopez that she sticks pin in every night, for the sin of getting paid to be Catholic in public.

 
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We’d like to sponsor two thirty-second commercials featuring pedestrian, shown during “CSI:Miami”.

 
 

No Zygotini, RB? Where’s the protein?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

And boys, more than a few of you have a lot more in common with her than you’d like to admit.

The curse of premature weaning is a blight on the national conciousness.

Gavin, I think you meant your caption to read: “Boo(bs)!”

I read that as Boo(urns).

 
 

Nobody’s boobs are too big for tv; she just means she’s not thin like Coulter and the other Republican eye candy.

Yes. Here’s what comes before the sentence about her breasts:

Unfortunately, yer girl ain’t made for camera lenses. Aside from the fact that I am unable to “smile for the camera” without looking terrified, I’m also dead chubby and I understand the camera adds 10 or 70 lbs. And of course, the Lord’s overgenerous endowment…

 
 

I bet if the anchoress threatened to tit-slap people, like Protein Wisdom, she’d get on tv.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

And of course, the Lord’s overgenerous endowment…

So “apostles” was a mistranslation?

 
 

Apostle means “someone sent out.” Jesus really wanted to start a falafel take-out business, but the guys never did listen to him properly.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

My snarky comment was more based on the typical adjective that accompanies the word…

In other words, you are being WAY more mature than I…

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

…every straight male takes it as some kind of personal affront.

Not all of us – there are some of us butt-men in the U.S., rare though we may be.

I’m still a pig, but at least I’ll look women in the eye when they’re facing me.

 
 

D, I know a girl who had to get a reduction, due to severe asymmetry, and another who wants to get one just due to their size. Neither one of those bothers me, and I even encourage it, because I’d much rather they not have to deal with back pains and finding clothes that fit then give me some orbs top gawk over.

“I can’t go on TV, cause mah bewbs are too big” is not the complaint/joke of a woman who is embarrassed by her size.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Shecky, you gonna start posting as “The Goddam Buttman”?

 
 

Oh ho, I see what Aristophanes means by this:

perhaps it really is time to engage face-to-face rather than criticize from afar

He’s lonely & wants to meet ladies. Or at least exercise his voyeuristic male gaze a bit.

 
 

If she really is as large as she says I don’t understand why she thinks that would be a problem. Any camera shot of her is likely to show just her head, neck and shoulders. Not much more than that because you would zoom in.

Most of the big middle aged women I know, when they sit down, their boobs are pretty much in their laps.

 
 

As someone who spent fifteen years being harassed every conceivable way, including by various doctors and insurance company personnel in an attempt to get mine reduced to a rational size, I’m sympathetic to the desire to keep one’s breasts relatively private.

Because, holy shit, considering how much we all know our tits are public property to begin with, try announcing you want ‘em bobbed. Every asshole on the planet has an opinion, and every straight male takes it as some kind of personal affront. Neighborhood men you’ve never fucking exchanged two words with will afterward treat you like you’ve *stolen* something from them. Because, hey, those aren’t just your fucking mammary glands, they’re scenery every man has a god-given right to.

And the women buy it, too. Doctors, nurses, receptionists, all of whom should fucking know better, demanding to know what the men in your life want, as though your boobs were their property by right of blood or marriage, and deciding your post-op size based on what aesthetics they think you owe the rest of the world.

Her little giggling token protest is pretty good evidence the Anchoress is another one who thinks that way.

And boys, more than a few of you have a lot more in common with her than you’d like to admit.

I have a sneaking suspicion this is generational. When you grow up in a world where enormous surgically-inflated breasts are perfectly commonplace, the entire Super Boobs Look At High complex gets kind of high-maintenance.

Mind you, I don’t think any society we recognize as American will ever get over the Boobs Look At High deal, but we’re getting better about the surreal size issues. Or at least we will once we’ve killed all the boomers.

 
 

If she really is as large as she says I don’t understand why she thinks that would be a problem. Any camera shot of her is likely to show just her head, neck and shoulders. Not much more than that because you would zoom in.

Maybe she knows but isn’t revealing something about the direction Simon wants to take PJTV. Maybe he’ll have Wingnuts on Ice! Or Dancing with the Wingnut Stars!

 
 

Maybe she knows but isn’t revealing something about the direction Simon wants to take PJTV. Maybe he’ll have Wingnuts on Ice! Or Dancing with the Wingnut Stars!

They could make a version of “The Biggest Loser” where K-Lo and Anchoress make political predictions and try to get fit.

 
 

I have a sneaking suspicion this is generational.
Society is becoming less concerned with physical appearance and fetishistic fixations on isolated body parts?
ha ha ha ha

 
 

Society is becoming less concerned with physical appearance and fetishistic fixations on isolated body parts?

We’re worse but different. And I don’t want to think about what the people who come up in a largely overweight society will fetishize – it’s just gonna be heroin chic all over again. By then, I will at the very least have the police to get the fuckers off my lawn.

 
 

I can think of more than a few MALE wingnuts who are over-endowed in the “chestal” area. Cheetos grow a great set of man-boobs.

 
 

Oh, how are we supposed to make fun of them if they don’t write it down?

Still, their ‘advertisers network’… The wingnut welfare is starting to dry up, eh?

 
 

I still suspect that the wingnut welfare is primarily a result of actual taxpayer funding – remember Armstrong Williams? He and his were just crass about it – stealing is pretty easy when it’s all most of the government is interested in doing.

 
 

Where a shirt with a high neck. Or a collar. Wear tops that are not sheer. Dont’ aim camera below your shoulders.

For those S,N! men who are gay, blind, or have never shared a mailing address with a woman weighing more than 98 pounds: Every feminine-underthings catalog not ‘Victoria’s Secret’ sells “minimizing” bras — which basically squish everything together and towards the armpits rather than ‘lifting & separating’. A number of my friends in the engineering / computing industries consider such minimizers as much a part of their work gear as hardhats and short-sleeved, button-down oxford-cloth dress shirts. Believe me, the Anchoress, like Pamela Oshry, has known of the existence of minimizers since approximately the day they hit puberty (and puberty hit back, harder).

“Society is becoming less concerned with physical appearance and fetishistic fixations on isolated body parts?”

We’re worse but different.

Two words for you, young Alec: Lara Croft. Who is, according to the dollmaking professionals that had to get their prototypes approved by the gaming copyright holders, less realistically proportioned than Mattel’s infamous Barbie. And now you can get offa my godsdamned lawn.

 
 

… the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area

too bad she’s nunly, she can’t get any mileage out of two things that give her back pain.

 
 

in HD where the girls might terrify some.

I can’t quite picture the chaste and Lord-lovin’ anchoress referring to her boobs as “the girls” but to give her the benefit of the doubt, I think she’s being self-deprecating here. i.e. her boobs aren’t a pretty sight.

 
 

Breasts being the subject, Althouse (again) is concerned, & gets to take a dig at that other pushing-60 hottie. There’s only room for one at the top, ladies!

ADDED: The Anchoress — a PJM blogger — weighs in… and, as one of several reasons why she doesn’t want to do web TV, reveals that “the Lord’s overgenerous endowment in my chestal area makes any notion of camera work unthinkable, particularly in HD where the girls might terrify some.” How large do breasts need to be before that make it impossible to appear on television? And can’t you just adjust the camera frame? On Bloggingheads, we’re all just heads — and maybe a bit of shoulders — unless, of course, you’re Arianna Huffington:

This is what she links to.

 
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We’re interested in sponsoring two thirty-second commercials featuring Ariana Huffington and Ann Althouse, shown during “Murder, She Wrote”.

 
 

Oh noes, fellow pinkos! Looks like the Iraqis had another election and now Bush is Best Preznit Evar! Plus Obama failed to talk about the election, if you ignore all the times that he did, which means he hates Iraq and thus America!!!!!IIIIl Also, four more schools got painted and he didn’t say anything about that either!

 
 

But, Anne Laurie, Lara Croft was sorta a joke from the very start and hasn’t been selling games for, oh, five or six years now. I would say that at the very least there is a major disconnect between what people are actually interested in sexually and what the culturally mandated sexual ideal is. Your average shitty comedy or whatever will use a skinny blonde with large breasts as a stand-in for “sexy woman,” but I don’t think that’s what heterosexual men are actually looking for.

The major caveat is that while an individual man might like chubby brunettes, the stick-figure blonde perseveres as an unattainable goal to beat women over the head with. Those men who make a big deal over how terrible someone’s breast reduction surgery was are probably the same guys who made unsolicited remarks about how those big breasts made so-and-so look fat, and maybe you should consider wearing more makeup, or less makeup, or get a boob job, and also boob jobs make you an artificial whore… I hear this shit and I’m a man.

I guess my main point is that there’s a substantial group of men who are less interested in the sexual appeal of any given feature than in how deviation from prescribed norms can be used to abuse and cow women. And I think these men make up a large enough percentage of the population that women are influenced by them and marketers sell to them.

 
 

Breasts being the subject, Althouse (again) is concerned, & gets to take a dig at that other pushing-60 hottie. There’s only room for one at the top, ladies!

I’m surprised she doesn’t have a Secretary Of State Has Boobies OMG scandal counter up there. You know, for the children.

I don’t think the ideal is getting any more realistic, but the current ideal is more or less fixed from 70s pornography, which (a) antedated public oversaturation with implants and (b) coexisted with a sexual vogue for the comparatively libertine Nordic countries, Sweden especially.

And most of the giant tits stuff in current games is Japanese. Comix seem like a counterexample, but they’re done by and aimed at Gen Xers and older.

 
 

I’d like to express my sympathy for the wAnchoress, Ace and Protein Shake:

bwahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaha

 
 

How large do breasts need to be before that make it impossible to appear on television?
How large does a beer gut need to be before that make it impossible to appear on television?
I’m asking for a friend, you understand.

 
 

djur:
you are right. All the rage now is big heads:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/bratz_dolls_may_give_young_girls

 
 

He’s lonely & wants to meet ladies. Or at least exercise his voyeuristic male gaze a bit.

Well, what can I say? Teh engorged second sexual characteristics still occupy a soft spot in my heart ..

 
 

Well, what can I say? Teh engorged second sexual characteristics still occupy a soft spot in my heart ..

hte Buttocks?

 
 

“I’d finally reached a point where I was breaking $1,000 a quarter in earnings. Yes, it’s a pittance and laughable, but frankly, it was the difference between staying alive as a (mostly) full-time blogger posting daily, or having to find other work and post just a few times a week.”

Now she’ll have to find a REAL JOB!

Maybe she can take some begging advice from Ace.

 
 

Bleh, meant Gary. (that’s what I get for posting at 5am)

 
 

Oh, they’ll all have begging advice to hand out. Or beg for.

 
 

It’s only 0400 here now.

 
 

Pix or it didn’t happen.

 
 

I don’t think her boobs would be visible through the “squint” unless she puts them on the glass of course.

 
 

Both breasts and the buttocks are attractive for the same reason(cleavage). Of course, that’s mostly because the former evolved as sexual indicators to mimic the later. Otherwise, human female breasts would only be inflated during lactation and pregnancy like all other primates.

Don’t blame men or society, people. Blame the fact that we walk upright. It’s all evolution’s fault. If it makes you feel better, it’s not actually the size that matters. It’s the size in ratio to the size of the females hips and waist. Hell, you do something similar to measure our fitness, and you don’t know it any more than we do. Instinct is a remarkable thing. all societies sexualize breasts, our society simply takes that sexualization to the point of fetishization.

They should really teach this in school. It would really save a lot of otherwise intelligent people from buying into sociological/psychological explanations to obviously biological occurrences. But no, god forbid we teach about humans as though we were the animals we obviously are. No, instead we pretend everything is nurture and human males only like breasts to objectify women. Human males simply like breasts for instinctual reasons that can’t really be overcome.

Sexism is an obvious problem in our society. The fact that men like to look at women isn’t a symptom of that social problem. It’s a symptom of the fact that our society needs to mate with members of the opposite sex to procrate.

 
 

Maybe she can take some begging advice from Ace.

Bleh, meant Gary. (that’s what I get for posting at 5am)

What does the Ambiguously Gay Duo have to do with any of this?

 
 

Ah, yes, human sociobiology. Panacea for cultural quandaries.

 
 

No, instead we pretend everything is nurture and human males only like breasts to objectify women. Human males simply like breasts for instinctual reasons that can’t really be overcome.

While there is a biological imperative behind it, arousal is a diverse and largely cultural matter – something that can be demonstrated fairly readily by a brief sampling of erotic marginalia. There’s the matter of the ideal – the penis, for instance, is regarded as best girthy now, best long 20 years ago, best small and dignified in ancient Greece, and all stops in-between. Age signifiers also vary dramatically – the male beard, armpit and pubic hair, along with evidence or lack thereof (tiny or splayed feet, lithe or broad hips, graying in both sexes and balding in men; specific wrinkles, the development of the breasts, the voice) of sexual maturity and/or fecundity.

Even the specific focuses of erotic attraction vary heavily. Our parochial belief that the breasts are an attention magnet is, again, not universal – it’s partially from their fairly heavy stigmatization, the relatively strict segregation of the sexes specific to puberty, and their relatively minimal direct association with maternity.

In general, the single most reliable way to eroticize something is to make it situationally appropriate to reveal, survey, and touch. The genitals more or less always fall into this category, but the rest is extremely culture-dependent, and in fact even dependent on fairly small changes within cultures. Few Americans raised after the development and popularization of brassieres and safety razors have used the word “gams” in earnest, and yet the biological reasons behind attraction to or indifference towards shapely legs remain unchanged.

 
 

soullite, I’m not talking about men who look at tits. I’m queer, believe me, I look at tits now and again myself, and anyway between the ages of fifteen and thirty I don’t think a male of the species made eye contact with me for more than two consecutive seconds, it’s not like I wasn’t used to that. I’m talking about men who think they OWN your tits. Men who think yelling “Hey, mama, you got big tits!” at strangers on the street is anything other than straight up reptile brain territory marking and rude as fucking hell besides. I’m talking about men who feel your tits are only as valuable as *they* think they are. And I’m talking about women, too, the ones who agree that men are perfectly justified in offering you advice about how you should maim yourself to make them bigger, and treating you like vandalized art if you ever make them smaller or lose them.

Swear to Christ, the creepiest fucking conversation I’ve ever had in my life, while clothed anyway, was with the guy in the next building over who literally treated me as though I had stolen something from him. He was genuinely *offended* that I’d had them reduced, even though he didn’t know my name. He had no apparent interest in me as a friend or anything else, he was just horrified that any woman would take God’s greatest gift and throw it away like that, because, hell, any woman would kill for boobs like that, har har, beats working, hur hur hur.

I’d imagine he thought he had a biological excuse for it too, as do all the assholes who catcalled me on the street, but aside from being animals we are also human beings, and we *can* control some of our harmful traits as long as we’re expected to.

Look if you like, guys. But whether evolution designed them to appeal to you or not, they’re not actually yours, and if you’re disappointed by what I do with them, you can keep it to yourself. If you understand that already, then great, and I’ll have no quarrel with you.

 
 

“I’m queer, believe me …… anyway between the ages of fifteen and thirty I don’t think a male of the species made eye contact with me for more than two consecutive seconds”

Would the second part be the explanation of the first part?

 
 

Brava, D. Sidhe, for saying what I’m too angry to say.

 
 

Since we’re on the subject of boobs, while clicking through on the previous thread I found this love poem to Pam Atlas (http://dennisthepeasant.typepad.com/dennis_the_peasant/the_pairs_hilton_of_punditry/), which is a definite contender for the Can’t Decide Whether It’s Funnier If It’s A Joke Or If It’s Real Award. This verse caught (or, rather, nearly poked out) my eye:

Yes, Atlas, you’re my Valentine
For I love Vim and Verve –
Those twin fruits growing on your vine,
So succulently served on-line,
A pundit’s treat so genu-ine –
Your are my day’s hors d’oeuvre.

Just as KKKrazy KKKatherine has Spunk and Moxie, I propose that Pammy’s norgs heretoforth be know as Vim and Verve.

 
 

If it was Dennis the Peasant that wrote that (eg. he didn’t quote someone else) then yes, it is a joke.

 
 

No, it’s by someone else called ‘Dave’, quoted in the ‘Bad Poetry – Republican’ section.

 
 

I’d like to thank this thread for the fact that I don’t like tits anymore. Indeed, I may never have another sexual thought.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

But, Anne Laurie, Lara Croft was sorta a joke from the very start […] I would say that at the very least there is a major disconnect between what people are actually interested in sexually and what the culturally mandated sexual ideal is.

Heh, indeed.

 
 

Genuine my dead arse.

 
 

From Xecky’s link—

By Hank Hyena

Who knew that furries were writing for Salon ten years ago?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Who knew that furries were writing for Salon ten years ago?

News to me, too. Or maybe he just chose the nym because he was laughing his ass off.

 
 

“Moreover, it’s been my experience that one doesn’t post a comment like the Anchoress’s unless one is essentially an attention whore–that is, a woman who loves to soak up the attention of lonely drooling cretins, yet takes a certain joy in sending females into fits of rage.”

Dat iss mein diagnosis as vell: It may appear dat Frau Anchoress merely uses her freakishly gigantik tittenboozums to distrakt from her turkey neck und hatchet face, but in reality, she iss aktually nuffink more than der WHORE, i.e. der common strumpett who wishes to revel in her own whorishiness like der pig rolling in its own filth. Butt in a pathetik attempt at retaining der appearence of “Der Guud Girl”, she pretends to der modesty dat she all too obviously does not possess! Ha! Ha! Ha! Der fool! Und since she has der pea for a brain, she is inkapable of recognizing dis utterly transparent contradiktion, though it iss obvious to anyone with der eyes to see! She iss der simpleton!!! Ho! Ho! Ho! Lett uss all laugh at her misfortune!

Now, iff yoo vill all excuse me, I must begin preparations for der film I am about to direkt from mein own skript: “Ann Koulter, She-Male of Der S.S.”! It vill be genuis, I tell yoo! Pure genuis!!!

 
 

Frau Blucher said,

February 1, 2009 at 18:39

So is there some reference I’m not getting here? Or am I going too deep?

 
 

Let’s see if Word Press loves me now. Hank Hyena, aka Hank Pellissier.

 
 

Two times! Just like the JBs!

 
 

Like most people, the Anchoress’s problems are personal, and god and politics are the way she deals with the emotions she can’t control. She can’t stop the attention whoring because she needs it to feel good about herself–that’s the reason for everything she does. If she didn’t have the blog she’d be pitting her kids against each other to see who loves her more.

None of which excuses her actions–or lies.

 
 

At least in the case of the blog the only person getting damaged is her ego (by us making fun of her), and she isn’t ruining kids’ lives.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

If the PJM folks will just keep up this hilarious public hissy fit, I personally may give them enough hits to keep them afloat.

It’s all about giving the people what they want!

 
 

Hank is also the Charity Coach. Somebody send Goldstein his email address.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The Anchoress now reports asteriskally that she regrets the “joke” about her chestal area.

Let this be a lesson to her: the internet is no place for boobs.

 
 

I may never have another sexual thought.

What are these things you call ‘sexual thoughts’? I am not familiar with them.

 
 

What are these things you call ’sexual thoughts’? I am not familiar with them.

They’re a funny feeling like when grandpa has his cock in your ass.

 
 

Except, as we all know, there is no problem. “Teehee, by bewbs are just toooo biiiig!” is the call of the attention-needing, annoying, high-maintenance woman.

$1000 a quarter doesn’t sound like high-maintenance to me.

 
 

the internet is no place for boobs.

Der gebooben am des Internets — verboten!

 
 

Also, ds: My fiancee is in the same situation, and I have to say I just don’t goddamn get it – unless your life is just a parade of disembodied jiggling bits driven wherever the free market demands, the idea of gainsaying someone over something about their body that makes them physically uncomfortable just seems faintly ridiculous. Dunno why people pull that shit – objectification is what they got Internets for.

 
 

This sight is objectively pro anti-fake nun.

I am reporting you to Fake Nuns 4 Jesus!

Prepare to be assimilated.

 
 

No mocking Catholics. It makes The Poop mad.

 
 

LOL, do a google image search for “the anchoress” and note the particular relevance the 4th image has to this post.

 
 

It took Barack FIVE days to answer my friend request on Facebook. Incompetent! His legacy is tarnished forever. WORST PRESIDENT EVAR

 
 

*Takes off troll hat*

I’m with you, DS.

 
 

Newsweak agrees, PeeJ.

Obama’s Vietnam

The black muslin terrorist has already gotten us into a quagmire, in just a week and a half!

 
 

Prepare to be assimilated.

That’s not the fake nuns, that’s the fake priests.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Obama’s Vietnam

Well, it’s only fair to point out that Obama didn’t serve in Vietnam, and you liberals gave Bush a bunch of shit for the very same thing, even though he did serve, or would have if his talents hadn’t been needed for a buddy’s congressional campaign that he didn’t show up to either.

Liberals. Hmf.

 
 

Newsweak agrees, PeeJ.

Pfft. As if we needed more proof that Fareed Zakaria is a smarmy douchebag.

 
 

At least now we know what she way anchored by…

 
 

If I had any artistic talents whatsoever, I would write a graphic novel starring the Pope’s red shoes.

 
 

It’s a shame the pope’s red shoes are slip-ons. Otherwise we could make make jokes about he ties his shoes with little knotsies.

 
 

Simba B said,
Frau Blucher said,
February 1, 2009 at 18:39

So is there some reference I’m not getting here? Or am I going too deep?

Here you go.

 
 

Pic, or it didn’t happen, as the kids say.

 
 

Here you go.

Fuck, and I watched that movie too. I suspect though it’s one of those you need to watch a couple of times.

 
 

I still can’t get over the idea of Megan McArdle as brainy. For god’s sake. I know nothing about economics or mathematics and even I know she’s full of shit. How frigging stupid is David Brooks? Does he think he’s going to win her favors or some such shit? Earn a hankie as a token or her esteem?

The World is cruel and laughs at us constantly.

 
 

I still can’t get over the idea of Megan McArdle as brainy. For god’s sake. I know nothing about economics or mathematics and even I know she’s full of shit. How frigging stupid is David Brooks? Does he think he’s going to win her favors or some such shit? Earn a hankie as a token of her esteem?

The World is cruel and laughs at us constantly.

 
 

@#$!%

(tired of cursing)

 
 

Laugh now, World, but those morons are going to destroy you too with their stupidity. And then who will laugh last? Besides the cockroaches, of course.

 
 

Wikipedia informs me that St. Agatha of Sicily is not only the patron saint of wet nurses and mastectomy recipients (which makes sense), but also of bellfounders and bakers — apparently due to the shape of her breasts — and of jewelers, volcanic eruptions, and eruptions of Mount Etna.

 
 

I still can’t get over the idea of Megan McArdle as brainy. For god’s sake. I know nothing about economics or mathematics and even I know she’s full of shit.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t she start out blogging as “Jane Galt”, making erudite observations about how she’d like to take a 2′ x 4′ to anti-Iraq war protestors before that abortion ever got underway?

Such an early and enthusiastic support for a bad idea, and hostility towards those who had the right idea made Megan a shoo-in for failing ever upwards in our mainstream media.

 
 

Megan a shoo-in for failing ever upwards in our mainstream media

For some reason, that wording put into my mind an image of a Megan-faced salmon swimming upstream to spawn. The Horror!

 
 

Such an early and enthusiastic support for a bad idea, and hostility towards those who had the right idea made Megan a shoo-in for failing ever upwards in our mainstream media.

She’s following in Amity Shlaes shoos footsteps.

 
 

Megan McArdle, Jane Galt, the Anchoress…Might one suggest “Tits Magee” as yet another choice alias for this small-minded, mean-spirited, dimwitted cow of a woman?

 
 

You are not wrong. And McArdle has been a source of bad and wrong advice ever since. When she is wrong she simply claims that she was right and when she is criticized she claims she was misunderstood or misinterpreted. She pretends to be impartial while always supporting authority and is hopelessly elitist and snobbish, as well as not nearly as intelligent as she thinks she is. She’s also condescending to her readers, insulting to liberals, and untiring in her efforts to climb her way up professionally and socially.

 
 

[W]ith a brain the size of a planet

a la “Horton hears a Who,” I’m guessing.

 
 

By the way, here’s the latest fashion tips from the highly-relevant Newsweek.

 
 

By choosing clothes that exist for a reason, young urbanites are defying the metrosexual mores of recent years and trying to participate in a testosterone-rich tradition instead. It’s still fashion, of course. But it’s fashion that fulfills a masculine ideal rather than a feminine one: function over frill. Superficial or not, that shift has come as a relief for men who already spend more time working with their MacBooks than their hands—a sign that they aspire to be as strong and silent as their rougher-hewn predecessors.

And people laugh at me when I say it’s all about the penis.

 
 

Mister Gorbachev, tear down those cows!

All the best democratic political movements have sought the guidance of a single charismatic, paternal authority figure.

 
 

St. Agatha of Sicily is not only the patron saint of wet nurses and mastectomy recipients (which makes sense), but also of bellfounders and bakers — apparently due to the shape of her breasts — and of jewelers, volcanic eruptions, and eruptions of Mount Etna.

How about the breast implant manufacturers, like Dow Chemical Corp.? And all the cosmetic surgeons who only want to practice their love for women across the country? Does St. Agatha not give a fig about them? Hmph, as they say.

 
 

But mostly it’s a way for Information Agers to preserve and project their manliness. Want to feel “realer” than the guy in the designer loft next door? Purchase a Mackinaw Cruiser in red-and-black plaid ($280)…

Yup, that’s going to happen.

 
 

(PS – how do they run their MacBooks without using their hands? The mind (and other parts) boggles!)

 
 

St. Agatha’s feast day is coming up–on the 5th. Bring out your buns and bells.

 
 

Ha ha ha, Newsweek. These kinds of articles are for boring people who want to be richer and trendier than they could ever realistically expect to be.

I mean, fuck—

Want to feel “realer” than the guy in the designer loft next door?

 
 

My life is already infinitely more authentic than that of the poseur in the next gutter over.

 
 

The fact is, liberals, the stimulus will fail like the WPA did, its just socialism and will make people lazy. We need more hard work, and not as much punishing them, by taxing or investigating in political witch hunts and recriminations. I thought liberals were all about bipartisanship? Obama and Pelosi and Reid are like dictators, like Hitler.

 
 

I mean, we should not be punishing the productive classes. Tax cuts always create wealth by creating incentive. Socialism begets laziness, and liberals are the proof.

 
 

And McArdle has been a source of bad and wrong advice ever since. When she is wrong she simply claims that she was right
She seems to be fond of the argument that people who turn out in retrospect to have been right about things like the banking-sector collapse and (not) invading Iraq should receive no credit for it, since they were merely driven by their knee-jerk pacifism or anti-Bush derangement. Conversely, she may turn out in retrospect to have been wrong, but she was right all along to have discounted the arguments of the DFHs (since it was predictable that they would argue as they did). So her opinions and advice were sort-of-wrongish but still responsible and her high opinion of her own judgment is not threatened.

 
 

By choosing clothes that exist for a reason

Don’t all clothes exist for a reason: to keep you warm and from being charged with indecent exposure?

 
 

Y’know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

 
 

The main reason for which clothes exist is to provide cats with a place to shed fur.

 
 

Ha ha ha, Newsweek. These kinds of articles are for boring people who want to be richer and trendier than they could ever realistically expect to be.

I don’t know, that article was just too awful to be unintentional. Overeducated sophisticates paying $500 for Japanese produced faux Americana “authenticity”? Suave urbanites who never did a day’s manual labor choosing work clothes for their “utility”?

It looks like a feel good piece for people who want to pat themselves on the back for saving so much money at Walmart. Also, they will be glad to know that Prop 8 was such a success.

 
 

*** OT ALERT SMUT GOING OT ALERT ***
If the thread has become a general forum for venting about gormless drongos, there is always Ben Domenech, as recently featured in TBogg. This post is a collage of encomia and paeans for the late John Updike — followed, for light relief, by Domenech’s assessment of Updike as a literary mediocrity who owed his reputation to his membership of a coterie of freemasons rootless cosmopolitans liberal intellectuals who hang together and scratch one another’s backs.

For bonus irony, Domenech is so blissfully unaware of the secret life of words that he writes about “a bevy of columns and articles”, as if the pages of the Times Literary Supplement were the habitat of quail.

 
 

If clothes exist primarily as cat-fur removal devices, why do catless people still all wear clothes?

 
 

Wrong Ben, Smut.

 
 

or, wrong, Ben Smut

 
 

In my defense, the picture on TBogg’s post merely identifies the target as “wasteofspace.jpg”.

 
 

Yeah, Ben Domenech has TWO eyebrows.

 
 

Coming soon to FOX: The zany new sitcom, “Too Many Bens!”

 
 

Posted By: Elizabeth43 @ 02/01/2009 2:40:22 PM

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Fine comment at newsweak.

 
 

Shorter this entire thread: boobies.

 
 

why do catless people still all wear clothes?
I believe that this merely strengthens my point.

 
 

Shorter this entire thread: boobies.

I believe that this merely lengthens my point.

 
 

(PS – how do they run their MacBooks without using their hands? The mind (and other parts) boggles!)

They’re clever dicks.

 
 

Do not for a moment believe the un-catted are immune from the fur.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I have an LL Bean jacket so old it was made in the U.S.

 
 

Shit, I don’t wear clothes that were designed after I was born. Engineer boots, Chuck Taylors, cheap jeans, T-shirts, denim or leather jacket. Why go beyond Marlon Brando?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Ah, Chuck Taylors. Made in the U.S. to a high standard and available for $30/pair. Then Converse was bought by Nike, production moved overseas, cheaper construction, and $50 a pair.

Thanks a lot, Tom Friedman, ya fuckin’ prick.

 
 

I don’t wear clothes designed after I was born, either, and I was born in the Upper Paleolithic. If it’s good enough for Cro-Magnon Man, it’s good enough for me.

 
 

Why go beyond Marlon Brando?

Indeed.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

But mostly it’s a way for Information Agers to preserve and project their manliness. Want to feel “realer” than the guy in the designer loft next door? Purchase a Mackinaw Cruiser in red-and-black plaid ($280)…

I that that was what this was for.

 
 

No sheet. My last pair was $44.95 @ Footlocker. Fortunately I had a Mickey D’s Monopoloy piece that was worth 25% off @ FL. (Wouldn’t have been near the place w/o the coupon.)

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I like that Virgin Ben is able to precisely situate John Updike on the “soporific scale” between Thomas Hardy and Kate Chopin. That takes a lot of thought or something.

 
 

Boobies is funny looking.

Oh, yeah! Check out this ultra-fine pair of boobies.

 
 

If the thread has become a general forum for venting about gormless drongos

No no, S,N! threads are for endless back-and-forth with trolls.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

IMO it would have been okay for Nike to buy Converse and jack up the price of Chucks to $50, or even $60, IF they had kept production domestic. I mean shit – can’t we make anything here anymore?

Excuse me, there are some punk-ass Hmong kids on my lawn. I have to go chase them off, then gradually come to appreciate them and their culture.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Grammar fail in my last post… must’ve been the Oprah magazine I took to the melon.

Chuck Taylors were always cut too narrow for my “London Broil” shaped feet.

 
 

For those who always wanted to know what the creator of Queen Slug for A Butt thought:

Doug Tennapel – Republican is the New Punk

Big Hollywood – doing their best to fill in that void of stupidity left by Pajamas Media!

 
 

to preserve and project their manliness

It’s just like the wingnut manliness oath: preserve, project, and Depends.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Republican is the New Punk

Then for once I agree with Teh Fool that punk = everything wrong with society.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Doug Tennapel – Republican is the New Punk

Yes, because nothing says “Punk Rock” like authoritarianism.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

There have always been Republican punks.

 
 

This is my Brando look. Or sometimes this one.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I know, Rusty… sigh. At least the “Rock Against Racism” movement rose up as a countervailing force.

Also, the highlighted definitions of “Punk” would seem to apply to Republicans:

punk1? ?/p??k/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [puhngk] Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun 1. any prepared substance, usually in stick form, that will smolder and can be used to light fireworks, fuses, etc.
2. dry, decayed wood that can be used as tinder.
3. conk 3 .
4. a spongy substance derived from fungi; amadou; touchwood.

–noun
1. Slang. a. something or someone worthless or unimportant.
b. a young ruffian; hoodlum.
c. an inexperienced youth.
d. a young male partner of a homosexual.
e. an apprentice, esp. in the building trades.
f. Prison Slang. a boy.

2. punk rock.
3. a style or movement characterized by the adoption of aggressively unconventional and often bizarre or shocking clothing, hairstyles, makeup, etc., and the defiance of social norms of behavior, usually associated with punk rock musicians and fans.
4. a punker.
5. Archaic. a prostitute.

–adjective
6. Informal. poor in quality or condition.
7. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of punk rock: a punk band.
8. pertaining to, characteristic of, or adopting punk styles: punk youths; punk hairstyles in various colors.

Origin:
1590–1600; of obscure orig.; the sense development is appar. “prostitute” > “catamite” > “hoodlum”; the adj. “poor in quality” (1896) is unclearly derived and perh. a distinct word

 
 

TenNapel:

The arts have failed. They no longer keep mass culture in check with thought-provoking art that challenges the establishment. Now they’re in charge of spreading the mainstream mandate of the Liberal Vatican.

If there’s a Liberal Vatican, who’s the Pope? And how does one become a member of the College of Cardinals?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

IIRC, Nazi punks were told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

 
 

Boobies is funny looking
ow ow rok iz hawt

 
 

BBBB, how could you not bold “c. an inexperienced youth.” as well? The virgin Ben having been linked in this very thread?

If there’s a Liberal Vatican, who’s the Pope?

Tell you what, I bet the Liberal Pope doesn’t wear fecking TUBE socks with his or her ruby slippers.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

OT but bwaaaa ha ha ha – looks like David Duke is losing his shit over the appointment of Steele to RNC chair. Not too surprising, but damn – fun to see the Redoublechins wedging themselves into irrelevance.

Says Duke: “The Republican leadership is not going to get away with this one. Obama is bad enough as President, we will not stand for Obama junior to be head of the Republican Party”

Har har har

 
 

BBBB, I choose noun – 1.d as the Rep def.

 
 

The arts have failed. They no longer keep mass culture in check with thought-provoking art that challenges the establishment.

Um, um, uh, um, who failed here?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

They no longer keep mass culture in check with thought-provoking art that challenges the establishment.

As Ash Wing League points out, this is pretty rich coming from the creator of Earthworm Jim.

Now Piss Christ, that did some provoking of thought and challenging of establishments. Maybe we should make a video game based on it.

 
 

You know, I also have problems blogging on camera because my gigantic, enormous penis bulge just freaks everyone out.

 
 

I think a republican talking about art and the reasons for art is like, er, cows tearing a wall down, or sacred walls being torn down by cows or something.

I think.

 
 

Now Piss Christ, that did some provoking of thought and challenging of establishments.

Challenging establishments with which they agree doesn’t count.

 
 

Tell you what, I bet the Liberal Pope doesn’t wear fecking TUBE socks with his or her ruby slippers.

The Pope needs support for his cankles.

 
 

Shorter Gary: Dammit, did you guys waste all your sweet jism on RedState75? Throw me a frickin’ bone here– or at least lube your arm up to the shoulder and jam it in!

 
 

There’s a very good reason Springsteen’s initials are “B. S.”

 
 

If I didn’t have cankles, I might be able to wear those Prada loafers with my capri pants.

…courtesy (!) of the Urban Dictionary (I had to look it up!!)

 
 

His ankles look just fine in this shot. I’m worried about the other guy though.

 
 

The fact is, you liberal fags can eat a bag of dicks. America is conservative and has moral values, and your boy Obama will not change that.

 
 

In this new depression, will there be liberal fag bag-of-dick kitchens instead of the boring old soup kitchens they had last time?

 
 

The ‘Republican Is the New Punk’ piece has generated some damn fine material in the comments section:

…conservative leaning bands are coming out of the woodworks. Bands with obviously religious and Christian themes are becoming more popular all the time. (The commenter mentions one, and tries to think of any others.) As soon as I can remember their name, I’ll let you all know.
—————————————-
…if I am not mistaken, every major left wing site bans and censor’s out people with opposing viewpoints… You won’t find a SINGLE conservative site that immediately bans and censor’s out lefties…
—————————————-
The era of political rock began with U2…
—————————————-
my 15 year old daughtr waw into the beatles but i asked her to listen to ted nugent a few times because he’s both a christian and a conservative rock n roller and i had to threatend hr with moving the heck out and finding her own way but now she loves nugent and weve writen letters to him and sent him pictures
—————————————-
…this homeschool mom is stickin’ it to the man, education style.
—————————————-
I’m an accredited scholar of Soviet history by the way, so hesitate before calling me an ignorant NASCAR-watching rube.
—————————————-
Conservatives are stronger, braver and have guns.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I’m an accredited scholar of Soviet history by the way, so hesitate before calling me an ignorant NASCAR-watching rube.

…Condi?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Re:
They no longer keep mass culture in check with thought-provoking art that challenges the establishment.

and

Challenging establishments with which they agree doesn’t count.

Funny how the establishment only needed to be challenged for the last two weeks.

The arts have failed.

Damn, this is scary… I was Gazoogling the phrase “Art is Dead” so I could make a “Sprockets” joke and I found this.

Dig that first sentence… it’s, like, prophetic and shit.

 
 

I dare ya, Snorghagen. Write them a painfully sincere comment claiming the Conservative-Punk mantle for Devo, on account of “Freedom From Choice”.

 
 

Conservatives are also more generous lovers, are built like brick shithouses, and poop ice cream.

 
 

I dare ya, Snorghagen.

No fuckin’ way! I’m not messing with those guys – some of ’em are accredited scholars of Soviet history!

 
 

Here is how it will go down tonight. First, Boldin will go in for a touchdown. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, you can’t win a Super Bowl in the first quarter” will be your comment. Rackers will kick a field goal, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Warner, Fitzgerald, and (much to your horror) James will all score for Arizona.

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to an Arizona Cardinals Super Bowl victory and the Great Steeler Freakout will be on.

Bookmark this, Steelers, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

 
 

Even the un-accredited ones are plenty dangerous.

 
 

Due to a congenital inability to remember cliches correctly, I spent much of last week attempting to eat a sack of hammers.
I guess this makes me dumber than an bag of dicks.

 
 

You won’t find a SINGLE conservative site that immediately bans and censor’s out lefties…

Hmm, I’m banned there and it was pretty fucking immediate.

 
 

Do we hang down low?
Do we jiggle to & fro?
Can you tie us in a knot?
Can you tie us in a bow?

 
 

My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to an Arizona Cardinals Super Bowl victory and the Great Steeler Freakout will be on.

You know, this is soooo much more possible than anything the other one ever said.

 
 

See what I mean?

 
 

Hmm, I’m banned there
But were you censor’ed out?

 
 

The wingnut welfare is starting to dry up, eh?

This website may have to co-sponsor a breeding program to prevent their total extinction in another year or three … click-through & pop-up revenue from the ensuing “educational” videos (via Bang Bros. &/or the Comedy Network) would make the program pay for itself – just don’t look at me when it’s time to scrub those turkey-basters.

Says Duke: “The Republican leadership is not going to get away with this one. Obama is bad enough as President, we will not stand for Obama junior to be head of the Republican Party”

Trouble in paradise? Say it ain’t so!

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Trouble in paradise? Say it ain’t so!

Yeah, it’s rough, isn’t it? I’m all broke up.

Due to a congenital inability to remember cliches correctly, I spent much of last week attempting to eat a sack of hammers.

I remember them all too well, so when I went to a café last week that had a faulty neon sign, I kept thanking myself for playing every few seconds.

 
 

I’m an accredited scholar of Soviet history by the way, so hesitate before calling me an ignorant NASCAR-watching rube.

See, the funny thing here is that as the eXile pointed out, the sovietologists didn’t start predicting the fall of the USSR until 1994. They were mostly either hangers-on to Pipes who wanted to lord their superior grasp of the villainous Soviet mindset over the peons or jagoffs who obsessed over Soviet slights in order to justify whatever Reagan had for breakfast in the grand arc of history.

Tell me you’re an accredited scholar of Soviet history and nine times out of ten I’m gonna prefer a NASCAR-watching rube.

 
 

The Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991.

 
 

Hee hee, I love how we’re hearing so much from David Duke lately. You know, because Rush is a surrender monkey who has never attempted to invade a Caribbean island, so we’ve gotta defer to the real men.

Seriously, is there nobody left in the Republican party who isn’t some kind of disgusting toady, open fascist, or fugitive criminal? Have they really scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that Grand Wizards are leaking through?

 
 

The Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991.

That’s what I meant. They spent three years suggesting it was some kind of clever ruse, or it wasn’t really as big as the liberal media made it out to be, or they were bound to go back to Secret Communism eventually, or so on and so forth.

Some of them are still doing this, but a solid majority now recognize the USSR no longer exists. Mostly.

 
 

Rush is a surrender monkey who has never attempted to invade a Caribbean island
Surely sex-tourism visits count as an invasion.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Surely sex-tourism visits count as an invasion.

Hm…. how about “violation?”

 
 

I’m going to have to agree (as much as it pains me to do so) with Herr S.C.

 
 

You will regret that when my Soviet History Scholar accreditation arrives in the mail.

 
 

Voici.

Also see Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia, continued existence of.

 
 

Voici.

Their take-down of Gaddis is a pleasure to read, but the “accredited scholar of Soviet history” wasn’t a Sovietologist. He was just a buffoon trying to sound important in the comments section of a rightwing blog.

 
 

At least the Anchoress is taking this loss of wingnut welfare in stride, but for some of the other Bananas in Pajamas The End of Days is upon us:

Protein Wisdom is pretty distraught over this, and Ace must also find some revenue or be forced to change.

Poor dears. The next four to eight years will not be happy ones for them.

 
 

I should think big boobs would be a big draw for the big boobs of the right wing.

 
 

“The girls”? Most of the anchoresses I know do not refer to their breasts that way. “The girls”, indeed.

 
 

I’m fairly certain that Howard Stern would put’em on TV…. HD even… if he still had a TV show… does that On Demand thing count?

 
The Goddamn Batman Never Worried About The Overgenerous Endowment Of His Chestal Area Until That Motherfucking Joel Schumacher Came Up With The Batnipples
 

I’d google “big boob nun porn” to see if she’s, ah, explored any other venues, but sadly I’m behind a fairly strict webfilter at the moment. A blessing in disguise, I’m sure.

 
 

djur:

But, Anne Laurie, Lara Croft was sorta a joke from the very start and hasn’t been selling games for, oh, five or six years now.

Not that it’s that impressive, but she’s doing slightly better than that, and within the last year, even.

Further, I can only promise that I will do my level best so that nobody I talk to thinks I’m checking out her boobs. Because I totally, totally am. Just discreetly.

 
 

Not to cast aspersions upon the abilities of the Goddamn Batman at 22:00, but I think we can all agree that it would be really cool to start a religion where the religious leader lives a double life.
Most of the time he would remain incognito, commuting every day to some boring office job… but occasionally the karmic balance of the city would get out of hand, and he would switch into his mitre and robes* so he could dash around absolving sins and hearing confessions and renegotiating mortgages.** Then with a quick “Pax Vobiscum!” he’d be away.

“What was that?” the bewildered recipient of absolution would ask.
This is the cue for a lucky by-stander to explain “It was a blessing in disguise.”

* Ceci N’est Pas un Pope.
** He is also the Loan Rearranger.

 
 

It’s been done

 
 

O apostrophe, why do you torment me so?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Ceci N’est Pas un Pope.

Smut – that comment is high-larious.

I don’t have anything clever to say about it, just thought I should mention it.

 
 

It’s been done
I admit the existence of prior art. However, the blessing-in-disguise joke is entirely my own.
Righteous Bubba is at least partly responsible.

 
 

snorghagen: Late though this response might be, rest assured they’ve tackled the subject a lot more directly – it’s just that nothing Google has a usable cache of includes it. (The closest it gets is a non-Dolan/Ames article, and to bring the eXile into context it was basically like interspersing an hour of Taibbi with an hour of hanging around next to a backed-up toilet.)

 
 

Also, no doubt true, it’s just that it’s the equivalent of someone making a shitty joke and saying ‘fuck you, I studied under Carlos Mencia‘.

 
 

you liberal fags can eat a bag of dicks

Oh Gary, your Freudian slip is hanging out below your hem again!

(Not that there’s anything wrong with wearing one, mind you…)

 
 

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