Who Needs a Pile of Rocks When You Have Michael Gaynor’s Brain?

Michael Gaynor isn’t all that bright. He’s also crazy and paranoid. And judging from his Renew America vanity pic, it looks like he was kidnapped by the CIA in 1972 and injected with some kind of experimental leprechaun repellent:


All of which makes him the perfect choice to be Renew America’s resident media critic. Let’s look at his latest column:

Who needs Aljazeera when you have Newsday?

Michael Gaynor
August 18, 2005

Pfc. Jose Ruiz, who grew up in Brentwood, Long Island, New York, and his baby daughter Liana made the cover of the August 18, 2005 issue of Newsday, Long Island’s main newspaper.

The touching photo of loving father and baby daughter is a bit bigger than 8 inches by 8 inches.

Unfortunately, it is there to undermine America’s efforts to bring peace and democracy to Iraq instead of to honor an American hero.

In other words, the best way to honor American heroes is to never mention them, especially when they die.

The subliminal message: CUT AND RUN BEFORE THE WAR IS WON.

Were I an insensitive ass, I’d probably mock Michael for seeing subliminal messages everywhere. But that wouldn’t be nice, since his hallucinations are apparently recurring side effects from the leprechaun repellent. Plus, the poor guy can’t go to sleep at night without seeing things like this:

“Aye, laddy, we’ll get ye when ye least suspect it… IN YOUR DREAMS!!!”

The words superimposed on the photograph are: “Soldier From LI Killed in Iraq He Saw His Baby Only Once.”

Newsday did not find Pfc Ruiz or his daughter newsworthy until Pfc. Ruiz was killed in Iraq.

Reporting on casualties instead of accomplishments is Newsday’s thing.

Yeah, who wants to hear about a dead soldier when yet another Iraqi school got painted?

Pfc. Ruiz was killed on August 15, 2005, by small arms fire from a civilian vehicle while conducting a secuity operation in Mosul, three weeks before he was scheduled to return home.

Pages A4 and A5 are devoted to the war in Iraq and primarily to Pfc. Ruiz’s death, He reportedly was to rejoin his family in three weeks. The headline is “Another LI soldier lost” and photos and brief reports on the deaths of three other Brentwood residents who had been killed in Iraq are included.

Those insensitive bastards. How dare they honor fallen soldiers from their community?

Newsday seems to be hoping for Pfc. Ruiz’s mother to follow in the inglorious path of Cindy Sheehan, who treated her own son’s death opportunistically and soon will be a divorcee.

Because if there’s one thing Newsday loves more than dead soldiers, it’s broken families.

The thrust of Newsday’s treatment of Pfc. Ruiz’s tragic death at the hands of the enemy is that his sacrifice was too much for the homefront to bear:

“As the death toll climbs in Iraq and Afghanistan, the pain of individual casualties reaches beyond the homes of grieving families.

“Brentwood High School teacher and former Marine corporal Chris Chamberlin said that, though he is proud of his students who join the military, the mounting death toll was increasingly painful for a school he described as intimate and personal.”

What a big pile of commie crap. The proper way to respond to the death of a loved one isn’t with namby-pamby grieving, but with homicidal bloodthirsty rage. If this wimpy former Marine was a true friend, he’d volunteer to go to Iraq, track down Jose’s killers, rip out their vital organs and string them together to make a kidney necklace, because that’s what real men do. (Well, either that or they leave comments at Little Green Footballs and Free Republic calling Cindy Sheehan a media whore traitor skankface.)

If America’s newspapers were as helpful to the Nazis during World War II as Newsday is to those subverting America’s reactive War on Terror and noble efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, we would be speaking German. Except for those of us who are Jewish and therefore would not be at all.

And if FDR had responded to Pearl Harbor by invading Brazil, just like Bush responded to 9/11 by invading Iraq, I’m sure the media would have given him a free pass. Nice column, Michael- thanks for wanking!


Comments: 66


Thanks Brad, a leprechaun infestation is my “worsed” nightmare too.


I’m going to a friend’s wedding in September. His brother was able to get leave to come, too. He won’t be coming now; the memorial service was held a couple of days ago. Gaynor can go to Hell.


So … Newsday is responsible for the Holocaust?


So … Newsday is responsible for the Holocaust?

That’s the gist of it, yes.


Hmmm…I am beginning to think Michael Gaynor might NOT be the sharpest shovel in the sand. I hope, for their sake, that he is not related to Mitzi or Gloria.


The leprechaun montage had me laughing my ass off. Gaynor deserves all the mockery we can muster.


I think he hit his head in a diving accident. That’s why they named the dive after him…the fool gaynor.


OK, OK….I’ll take my meds now. I promise.


oh, ftlog = the funny.

i like how gaynor subtly sneaks in sheehan’s marital status.


i like how gaynor subtly sneaks in sheehan’s marital status.



ok, subtle like a plane crash. or a leopard-print leotard.


Face it, can’t win with these idjits. If Newsday hadn’t run the story the wingnuts would have screamed, “how dare you ignore this local hero who risked everything knowing that he might never see his baby a second time!”


I searched and searched the “internets” and I can’t find one article on any “good” news from Iraq that isn’t older than 2-1-05.

With security comes stability
With stability comes peace.

Doesn’t anyone realize that?


I searched and searched the “internets” and I can’t find one article on any “good” news from Iraq that isn’t older than 2-1-05.

Ah crap, the trolls are here…


I’m not a troll! What I am saying is – He is complaing about Newsday’s apparent understanding that you can’t have ANY good news from Iraq until the populance are secure. News of soldiers dying just enforces the reality that Iraq is a quagmire theat we need to remove ourself from.

You Jabrone!


Oh, my child, you just aren’t looking hard enough.

Today, three Sunni Arabs were hanging posters urging their fellow Sunnis to vote in a referendum on the new Iraqi constitution. Isn’t that great news, showing how these disparate groups are finally coming together in the spirit of democracy to the benefit of all Iraqis and the Middle East? Oh, wait, these three Sunnis were then brutally murdered by masked gunmen while hundreds watched. Well, at least no one is shooting missiles at our warships anchored in Jordan.

I’ve made some pizza puffs for you, SgtD, why don’t you come up out of the basement for a while and have a snack? But make sure you wash your hands. And put some pants on, for crying out loud!


Ha – good news… American’s just doen’t understand what in the hell is going on in Iraq… It was a war started on a lie and has snowballed to a CYA-fest by the right.

Wanker’s like Michael Gaynor just give us a reason to laugh at thier stupidity.


Oh sorry Sgt. D. We have a bunch of Freepers posing as military guys 😉


Ya know, while the Nazis may have been roundly criticized during the war, the were largely lionized by the west before the war; before the horror of the movement became apparent to most people. The media was mostly supportive of nazism prior to 1940. Even while they were instituting official anti-semitism and racism, the west cheered Hitler. When he invaded Austria, the west was silent. Not until Brittain was threatened did America completely sever ties with the Nazis.

Mr. Gaynor should stop playing with strawmen. If he wants to criticize the media, he should at least bother to learn about some of their true failings. His criticisms would have much more impact if they carried a shred of truth behind them.


No problem Brad, I guess I didn’t make myself clear in the first place! See, already better than a freeper – I ADMIT my mistakes!

SgtD is actaully a reference from the metal band S.O.D. (Stormtrooper of Death) – from the some “SgtD and the S.O.D.”


I searched and searched the “internets” and I can’t find one article on any “good” news from Iraq that isn’t older than 2-1-05.

Maybe that’s because there isn’t any. The place is a disaster area of our own making. What good news were you expecting?


from the song, not from the some… can’t spell today.

Gaynor is just a nerd starving for attention. He will yell and stamp his feet so everybody can hear him talk. You see these people on the street and the reaction is the same – stare, shake your head in disgust, walk away.


You see these people on the street and the reaction is the same – stare, shake your head in disgust, walk away.

No way! That wouldn’t be nearly as much fun!


Man, people are getting a little testy.

Here’s how to tell real trolls from posers. The real trolls all have a military rank in their name and also, strangely enough, an article of clothing. E.g., Captain TrollyPants, Field Marshall (FM) Asshat, Major Shortsniffer…


Would it be better to yell back?

Beat them?

Make fun of them?


Making fun is the best, imho.

Greg- thanks for the distinction, I’d not noticed the clothing connection 🙂


Sargent D says “I’m not racist, I hate everybody, so fuck you!”. Created by the mind of Scott Ian of Anthrax; who said that the hatred spwed from “SgtD” was “typical of your right-wing gung-ho american”…

I have read the mentally-retard writing of the chickenhawks – they use name calling instead of defending with facts.


Wait – FM Asshat? Who in their rightmind would call themselves an Asshat????

Major Shortsniffer? How about Major Buttsniffer instead?


I thought “Stormtrooper of Death” was more appropriately acronymed S.T.D.?


Brad, my pleasure. PinkoPunko, Ukko, Yosef and I have made a point of studying these trolls and their filthy habits. We’ve even gone undercover to infiltrate their ranks. It’s disgusting and dangerous work but it’s vital in the defense of the Sadly, No bog.


SOD, don’t try to rationalize troll behaviour. You’ll only hurt yourself.


When Newsday reports on the Mets losing, the subliminal message is: YANKEES RULE. When Newsday reports on LI crime victims, the subliminal message is: MOVE TO NEBRASKA. When Newsday reports bad weather, the subliminal message is: OMFG! TEH LEPRECHAUNS! RUN!!!!11!!(ONE)!!1!


Maybe it is – but its always been a musical reference to me…

“Jesus freaks killing in the name of human rights
ozone decay, what’s the fucking deal
looking for a meteor in your unhappy meal…”

The Dark Avenger

I hate cheap conservatives who go for the combover rather than springing for the toupee.


Greg- Have you thought of, erm, “sending” the trolls over to LGF to see how they’re received? It’d be kinda interesting to see if you, erm, “they” could convincingly pull it off…


If its a toupee then you can say things like,
“how much do you have tou-pee?” and other corny jokes that piss people off…

I won’t go crazy trying to understand wingnut thought Greg H. But I cannot understand (and admire, really) how people on the left can listen to that insanity!


well, if I speak arabic, and not english, Al-Jazeera might just be more user-friendly.


Brad R, seems like a noble pursuit. It may take a couple of days to gather the resources though.


“But I cannot understand (and admire, really) how people on the left can listen to that insanity!”

Most of us grew up in the Reagan years? We have an inordiante tolerance for BS? It’s an academic detatchment? Or maybe because it’s comedy GOLD.

also, to keep on top of the latest Clinton’s Penis jokes.


did the stormtroopers of death make the song “the milano mosh”? or was that MOD (method of destruction)?


and strangely enough, michael gaynor’s pic (at least the one above) looks creepily similar to a cookie monster toy my son loves to play with. the thing has a hinged jaw, so the entire top half of his head flips up. when it opens, he says a word or two that eventually strings together into intelligible (for cookie monster) speech.

me…love…to giggle! ho ho…ho ho…ho ho ho.


cookie monster is canadian!?!?


We need to start a NEW network


it will boradcast a billion megawatts of the shining light of propaga.. er, truth and freedom directly in to the hearts and minds of the infi… er, swarthy hydrocarbon-owning consumer public.

And flags, lots of flags.


You Rang?!!???!!??!


Yes they did spalding – its on “Speak English or Die”.

“You think that you can mosh
got your suspenders, and got your boots
better wear armor , you fuckin fool!”


GregH and Ukko and Yosef, send the boys over to my place and meet at the secret thread I will put up- see latest Three Bulls comments and we’ll see about this LGF thing. And Admiral Tubesock if he so wishes. Rear admiral


Pinko- My thinking is that you guys can direct them to posts over at S,N!, and then our much-smarter readers will ambush them. It will be a brilliant set-up.


Brad, you eviscerated the guy. No quarter. Great job with the leprechauns. What is that, by the way?? Is leprechaun fear a known “thing”?I can’t believe things have reached the point where a hometown newspaper can’t report the death of a local soldier without being called anti-war. I used to think, earlier in the war, that it was funny when people blamed the messenger for bringing the bad news–because, like, war does kill people, y’know, and newspapers are there to report stuff–but now it’s so entrenched that reporting a military death = insidious liberal propaganda? Gee, it’s almost like they blame the guy for dying instead of staying alive to prove that “we’re” winning the war.


Meeting on troll control announced in comments here


For Yosef, GregH, Ukko, and whomever has been tailing Adm. Tubesock.


Lucy, fear of leprechauns is the third most common fear after heights and public speaking. Weird I know, but I’ve suffered through many a leprechaun themed nightmare. *shudder*


Hey leftwimps, it appears that I’ve got under you’re supple and exfoliated skin. You accuse eachother of trollage. And this thread is dominated by troll talk. Our plan is working, SUCKERZ!!!!!


FREAKEN Bastards of sin and pathetic pieces of CRAP! All you morons do is SUCK off of everyone else intellect by your lame brain attempts to critique other’s thoughts and wisdom. Where are your article? Where are you posted besides this side show that you call a blog! Go FUCK Yourselves BY MASTERBATING. You can’t find anyone other than a blow up plastic doll woman to take care of your sexual needs. The Devil Babe 🙂


Where are your article? Where are you posted besides this side show that you call a blog!

This is particularly ironic, since all of Michael’s piece consisted of CRITICIZING SOMEONE ELSE’S ARTICLE.


Is there any other way?


That was Marie, btw. Her fan club has totally taken over the joint lately.


given the errors of spelling and grammar in that last post, does anyone else suspect the hand of Marie?

Also, it gives me fits when people suggest that the US might have been conquered by Germany in WWII, and that we’d somehow be speaking German if our forces had not prevailed.

With eight years and the most technologically superior army in history we were unable to subdue a widespread insurgency in a country the size of California, but Hitler was supposed to somehow occupy the US with such a degree of success that our English language was replaced by German? It’s just really dumb, so I’m not surprised to read it on Renew America


i like how gaynor subtly sneaks in sheehan’s marital status.

Was I the only one to notice a suspicious resemblance to the Family Guy in that pic? – I mean, apart from the obvious traces of leprechaun repellant, of course…

Also, I like how LucyIn (aka. The Artist Formerly Known As MJ’) just totally put this entire bog in its place in quite direct, some might even say coarse, terms (and highly original grammar), then demonstrated her excellent sense of humour and vastly superior intellect by ending with one of those facial expression-depicting pictogrammy thingumabobs, just to let us know that though she’s certainly raving like a loonie, she’s doing it with a smile. Simply adorable.

But apart from LucyIn TAFKAMJ’, I must say I’m a bit disappointed by the low quality of trolls you’ve got around here. I mean, The Editors got Floyd Alvis Cooper recently, for fuck’s sake, and what does S,N! come up with? A kid who calls himself Asshat, now where’s the fun in that?


And this guy isn’t over there because why, again?


Hey, Greg, were you guys looking for someone to go undercover on Rear Admiral Tubesock, or did you have one already? Because I would be honored to join you in your dangerous scientific observation of troll habits. If you would be willing to let in one as unexperienced as I, that is.


I mean, The Editors got Floyd Alvis Cooper recently, for fuck’s sake, and what does S,N! come up with?

Well, if Floyd Alvis Cooper turned out to be one of us incognito, there would be a certain jouissance there, as the French say, no?


Wow, redundant AND mis-spelled.


Weird I know, but I’ve suffered through many a leprechaun themed nightmare. *shudder*
[terrible Irish accent] “They’re magically delicious! No, wait–I think it’s supposed to be ‘Manly, yes, but I like ’em, too!’ No, no,,, ‘I’m Coo-coo for…’ Oh, bugger! Shite!!”
“Gaaaahhh!! A leprechaun!!”
[In Warrwick Davis’ voice] “I wants me ggoooollldd!


First of all, yeah the trolls around here are pretty douchey, but what do you guys expect? If they were the more virulent kind, you’d be getting total racism and probably death threats within two minutes. They’re just sad around here.


Everytime I read MJs stilted English, I think about that guy in Blade Runner “Your eyes. I make your eyes. Cold. So Cold. You Nexus 6” Wah wah.


I was reading a LiveJournal the other day, and I thought I’d post this excerpt from the comments here:

“Apparently, to these people, if you say, “I wish this soldier hadn’t died,” you are somehow dishonoring their memory. They don’t get that it’s possible to wish the person had never been in harm’s way in the first place, and seek to get others home safely, while still understanding that they did what they did because they believed that it was the right thing to do.”

Apparently wishing that parents can come home to their children safe and sound is WRONG.

People like Gaynor and Marie can just go bite on a grenade. The human race doesn’t need them.


Seemed to leave out the most important paragraph:

Nothing about Ms. Sheehan having met with and praised President Bush last year and subsequently teaming up with Michael Moore or the Sheehan family having condemned her for exploiting Casey Sheehan’s death and her husband having filed for divorce.

Tellingly, Ms. Sheehan declared last Saturday: “”And the other thing I want him [President Bush] to tell me is ‘just what was the noble cause Casey died for?’ Was it freedom and democracy? Bullsh*t! He died for oil. He died to make your friends richer. He died to expand American imperialism in the Middle East. We’re not freer here, thanks to your PATRIOT Act. Iraq is not free. You get America out of Iraq and Israel out of Palestine and you’ll stop the terrorism.”


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