Hail The New Dawn
Posted on January 21st, 2009 by Gavin M.
Brad adds: I can’t get enough of the words “Ex-President George W. Bush.” It’s not as nice as “Imprisoned Former President George W. Bush” or “Excommunicated President George W. Bush,” but it will have to do.
EXACTLY.
Yes!
Goddammit, I missed that bit. The CNN feed kept freezing up.
Woo.
Caption for the picture –
Here are some thumbtack observations on President Martin Luther King, ex-VP Henry Potter, Chief Justice Yoda and more.
Whatever you want to make of it, this administration is going to be no Idiocracy.
I am NOT giving up Lawrence Welk.
Obama – he’s got electrolytes!
Obama – It’s what plants crave!
All hail President Barack Hussien Blackazoid Superfly X!
Dwayne Eliando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho!!!!!
Damn – Obama’s been working out.
Aw fuckety fuckall fuck. Pretty please, explain the picture for me. Not the theme, you silly fucks; I mean who are those people and is that from a movie or something and…..
(I told you I don’t know diddly squat about pop fucking culture. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I found out what the quote-o-matics at the top of the page are about. No, I never watched it, not even once.)
Hell Yeah!
PeeJ – it’s from a movie called Idiocracy, summarized at IMDB thus:
Joe Bauers, an Army librarian, is judged to be absolutely average in every regard, has no relatives, has no future, so he’s chosen to be one of the two test subjects in a top-secret hibernation program. He and hooker Rita were to awaken in one year, but things go wrong and they wake up instead in 2505. By this time, stupid people have outbred intelligent people; the world is (barely) run by morons–and Joe and Rita are the smartest people in America.
I am NOT giving up Lawrence Welk.
Well, either that or the heavy metal will have to go to make time for all the Jay Z. and Ludacris that Honky-Americans will have to listen to daily. Quotas and whatnot.
PeeJ – Idiocracy. Rent it, watch it, it explains the last 8 years better than any other excuse I’ve heard.
Aw fuckety fuckall fuck. Pretty please, explain the picture for me. Not the theme, you silly fucks; I mean who are those people and is that from a movie or something and…..
Idiocracy, a film by Mike Judge (of Beavis & Butthead/Office Space infamy), basically about Cyril Kornbluth’s short story The Marching Morons. That figure in the center is President Dwayne Eliando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho!!!!!, (also former twelve-time Smackdown1 champion, I think).
He was basically the best thing about the movie.
tag you berry buch
Leon – you left out the best part of President Camacho’s resume – he was both a wrestler and a porn actor.
He was basically the best thing about the movie.
Agreed. I remember reading that the movie was not publicized or widely distributed, and some people online (because there are always some) figured that was some kind of conspiracy to hush up a dissenting voice about the American Way of Life, or some such.
Possible, but it’s also not a terrific movie.
Jennifer: Curses, you are right.
For further context, PeeJ, that picture is taken from a scene where President Camacho has to explain to Congress about his new pick for Secretary of the Interior (the aforementioned “genius”).
Seriously, best character ever.
Xecky – you know, after watching it the first time I thought, “ok, there was some really funny stuff in there, but it’s not a great movie.” But since then, it’s continued to grow on me. Probably still not a great movie in the sense of award-worthy, but funnier than most of the “comedy” movies put out there.
I told you I don’t know diddly squat about pop fucking culture.
We’ve been watching ‘Bones’ on DVD and “I don’t know what that means” has become my stock response to any question involving the contemporary world.
But since then, it’s continued to grow on me.
I have had some movies hit me exactly that way. Maybe I’ll give it another few chances. I’m not too concerned about award-worthy, but teh funny I’m very glad for.
Idiocracy just scores high on the Lebowski Anti-Narrative Meter — the ratio of memorable characters, scenes, and lines to notability of the plot. Could also be named the Seinfeldometer, but I think TBL deserves the nod for being a film.
If a movie is impossible to describe meaningfully without resorting to quotes, you probably have a movie that’s high-scoring on the LANM. Which, I guess, is a good and a bad thing depending on the actual film and your personal taste.
Possible, but it’s also not a terrific movie.
True indeed. The idea behind Idiocracy > the execution of Idiocracy.
There are some downright hilarious scenes, though, the screencapped scene above being one of them.
Agreed. I remember reading that the movie was not publicized or widely distributed, and some people online (because there are always some) figured that was some kind of conspiracy to hush up a dissenting voice about the American Way of Life, or some such.
Well, sort of. Fox totally buried it, quite deliberately, and it was held up with some lawsuits for a time — I believe Starbucks, Fuddruckers and one other had problems with it — and it was released with no screenings and no ad campaign whatsoever.
It wasn’t really to hush up a dissenting voice, but Fox did the absolute bare minimum to meet their end of the deal… which is not as uncommon as you might think for a movie studio to do. See also: Midnight Meat Train.
The fact is, Reverend Lowery insulted white Americans today, and this will cost Obama votes in the Heartland in 2012.
I think t4toby won the thread.
Idiocracy was a fantastic idea, marred by sub-par execution. It had great scenes, great lines (“I thought his head would be bigger”), but it failed to hold together.
It was funny, but it should have been a hundred times better than it was.
It was nice to see “Michael Bolton” in another movie, though.
Oh man. “I thought his head would be bigger” kills me every time.
Part of Fox burying the thing was cutting Judge’s SFX budget down to nothing. Not that they would have been great anyway, but still.
Brawndo! It’s like a monster truck you can bar into your face! It’s got electrolytes! What are electrolytes? I don’t know, but they’re extremely awesome and Brawndo is full of them! They help plants grow, which is why you should drink Brawndo and not water because water comes from the toilet and I’ve never seen plants grow out of the toilet! It’s got caffeine; super-extra caffeine! And five kinds of sugar, which makes it delicious and much better than other energy drinks which are not delicious!!! It will make you wonder why you haven’t ever crushed a human skull with your bare hands! But you won’t have to because you already know that Brawndo tastes how that would feel! I just split my pants like the Incredible Hulk! See that!? Brawndo will make you need new pants! And while you’re out buying pants you’re going to need to buy new shoes because you’ll wear out your old shoes by kicking everyone’s butt all the time. Brawndo will make you want to kick everyone’s butt all the time, which might be good or bad but either way you’ll win because Brawndo will make you win at things you’re not even supposed to win at, like yelling. Brawndo will make you WIN AT YELLING! Or maybe you’ll win at something else, like jumping or waving. You’ll wave your hand really fast, and you might become invisible, which doesn’t even make any sense. You’ll probably end up running somewhere, which is good if you like running, but even if you don’t Brawndo will make you win at exercise. It will make you use your fists for everyday tasks like television, or romance, or helicopter repair and maintenance. It’s like a dinosaur attached to a rocket ship! It’s made of 100% concentrated rage. You can tell when you open the can because it’s extremely loud and by loud I mean tasty! IT’s like shaving your chest with a lawn mower! It’s as dangerous as riding a pony, which might sound not dangerous except the pony is 300 feet tall and covered in chainsaws. And to get to the top of the pony you have to ride an elevator with 16 lion-cougars which is actually a real sport in Latin America. It’s like a locomotive full of screaming babies crashed into an aircraft carrier and the aircraft carrier is on fire, which sounds really exciting because fire is very exciting, but it’s not as exciting as Brawndo because Brawndo is more exciting than a fist fight with a grizzly bear. It’s like driving an ice cream truck full of angry bees to a petting zoo, which is a great way to become popular if you want to become popular with law enforcement! It will make you more awesome at English. You’ll become so good at english that you’ll be able to put apostrophes in words like nuclear which don’t even have an apostrophe yet. Brawndo; because you can’t drink a car battery.
It wasn’t really to hush up a dissenting voice, but Fox did the absolute bare minimum to meet their end of the deal… which is not as uncommon as you might think for a movie studio to do.
I figured the people I was reading were a bit on the hysterical side, but the idea that genuine corporate bastards would find the film unflattering and try to hold it up is not at all surprising.
I know Fox has also done that kind of thing to its own TV shows i.e. no promotion, shuffling the show time every week, &c.
My favorite part of Idiocracy was the beginning.
True indeed. The idea behind Idiocracy > the execution of Idiocracy.
Really? You mean Mike Judge wasn’t able to stretch a clever idea into a full-length movie? Why, I’m as shocked as I’d be if you told me the South Park boys had similiar issues with their cinematic visions.
I figured the people I was reading were a bit on the hysterical side, but the idea that genuine corporate bastards would find the film unflattering and try to hold it up is not at all surprising.
Yeah, they probably were… but this movie DID get held up for years, and there were even a few articles about it while all that was going on in Rolling Stone and I think Esquire. Judge got kinda-sorta fucked on Office Space, too, so there was precedent.
he was both a wrestler and a porn actor.
I don’t get it. The porn we like to watch frequently consists of guys wrestling and stuff.
You mean Mike Judge wasn’t able to stretch a clever idea into a full-length movie?
Hey, now, Office Space was a really nice little movie, a genuine sleeper-turned-cult-phenomenon.
Some more choice scenes: the doctor’s visit, “Ow My Balls!”, “Water? Like from a toilet?” I can’t hear the word “upgrade” without thinking of that film.
the doctor’s visit, “Ow My Balls!”, “Water? Like from a toilet?” I
Definitely my favorites…I think the doctor’s visit is the best one, followed closely by the whole “It’s got what plants crave–it’s got electrolytes!” schtick. And to this day, anytime I see a commercial for some fast food joint pushing their new big meal, all I hear is: “Try our EXTRA BIG-ASS TACO! Now with more MOLECULES!”
I like to think that the specific intent behind the completely average protagonist was that he be Dubya in a world he never made. It seems like it would have been difficult to keep it on-message that way, though.
‘Upgrayedd’. Double dose of pimping and all that.
I like disgraced.
Disgraced Former President.
I dunno, I was most excited to hear Roberts enunciation of the full name BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA as if it made his tongue curdle up in his mouth….\
This is the BESTEST ELECTION EVAR!!!
Hey, now, Office Space was a really nice little movie, a genuine sleeper-turned-cult-phenomenon.
Ehh, I liked Office Space, but Mike Judge is just lucky Stephen Root exists. Also, I think I liked Office Space as much as I did because by the time I got around to seeing it, I wasn’t working in offices anymore and had pretty much burned that bridge.
True unrelated: Stephen Root received one of three honorary doctorates from the University Of North Alabama given by said institution during my brother’s stay there in the late ’90s. The other two were Ernest Borgnine and George “Goober” Lindsey. At the time, UNA had no doctorate programs. My brother worked for a sound company and he said, of the three, Root was the funniest. The others were nice and personable, he said, but both were deaf as posts.
“A pimp’s love is very different from that of a regular man.”
Hey, now, Office Space was a really nice little movie, a genuine sleeper-turned-cult-phenomenon.
I sometimes think that you have to have worked in the corporate world to really appreciate Office Space. If you’ve worked in that environment, as I have – a lot – it’s really more of a documentary than a comedy.
I jest, but not by much.
My single favorite thing about Idiocracy has been the fact that, in spite of humanity being functionally retarded, the House of Representin’ still works.
SOUTH CAROLINA WASSUP
It would be awesome to get an honorary doctorate from a University that had no doctoral program. what an achievement!!
President Obama Strolls Down Pennsylvania Avenue Wearing Smart Engish-Cut Suit; Michelle, Meanwhile, Wears Ceremonial T’k’arnanth Klingon Battledress
—Ace
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/281469.php
This is the BESTEST ELECTION EVAR!!!
Fuckin’. A. 😉
Now I have to go do math. Ah, well. My cup runneth over anyhow.
Who’s impersonating me?
I’m surprised he didn’t bring up how savage we were to Nancy Reagan and Barbs.
But I suppose then we could bring up what fucking cunts they were to Hillary and Chelsea, so I can kind of see what they’re terrified of bring up anything pre-Dubya.
I was hoping to see Hussein Obama X drop the suit and reveal a full length dashiki, topped with either a black beret or a kente cap. I think there would have been a lot of soiled seat cushions or exploded heads . . . .
WTF is he talking about? Michelle pretty much always looks great. (I say “pretty much always” because I was not a fan of the election eve dress – but that’s the only thing I’ve seen that I didn’t think looked good.) Laura, on the other hand…well, just go over to dependable renegade and search the archives to see how she dressed most of the time.
I’m surprised this film’s not getting much love. Sure, it’s not award fodder but it really is fantastic! So many good lines, good characters, scenes, sight gags…It even underscores how power in the wrong hands is dangerous.
And its the kind of movie that gets better with repeat viewings as you catch more jokes. My favorite scene (it really is a tough pick) is the view out of the hotel window of the jet skiiers on the reflecting pool. I laughed my ass off the first few times I saw that, never noticing until the third viewing that the Washington Memorial in the background is seriously askew. But maybe I’m slow and my love for this movie is indicative!
Oh man, I think I’m going to have to watch it again tonight. Love Love Love.
Joe’s daring escape from prison? Hilarious.
“Welcome to Costco. I love you.”
“Don’t worry, scrote, lots of tards go on to have kick-ass lives. My ex-wife was tarded. She’s a pilot now.” (massive paraphrasing there, too lazy to get exact quote)
“Carl’s Juniors. Fuck you, I’m Eating.”
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2009/44.president/inauguration/mall.satellite/
wordyeti posted it in the previous thread, so I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes. Still. Holy mackeral. That’s a lot of terrorist-loving socialists in one place. Considering, who gives a fuck what a mysoginist little bore like Ace has to say about anything.
Probably Booger, once again informing us of the hilarity going down at Ace of Farts HQ. Ha. Ha?
I was hoping to see Hussein Obama X drop the suit and reveal a full length dashiki, topped with either a black beret or a kente cap. I think there would have been a lot of soiled seat cushions or exploded heads . . . .
Me too, but I wanted more: Obama with a ‘fro, Michelle leading a panther on a leash, the works. BLACK POWAH.
First of all, it’s a myth. The media never “savaged” Laura Bush, her daughters, or Palin. They’ve kept hands off the Bushes, and Palin, well, she simply allowed her true character to shine.
And as for bloggers or commenters, there’s nothing that any liberal blogger or commenter has ever said about Pickles, Palin or the daughters that matches the ugliness and viciousness the right visited on Hilary as First Lady. Nothing.
and that’s starting with Ace’s site
Holy crap, people from that high up really do look like ants.
I don’t actually recall anyone being very critical about Babs when she was FLOTUS. She was pretty much adored by all. She didn’t reveal her true colors till after they left office.
I think sir you are being a particular individual.
Shorter Ace:
I got nothing, you guys.
My understanding is that the first cut of the movie is much different than what eventually survived. Lots of parts cut out, the narrator added, etc. Doesn’t surprise me.
I still think of Clevon every time I read something about Levi Johnston. “Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.”
I also picture the Gitmo trials thusly:
“Judge Hank “The Hangman” BMW: Now prosecutor, why you think he done it?
Prosecutor: ‘Kay. Number one your honor, just look at him. And B, we’ve got all this, like, evidence, of how, like, this guy didn’t even pay at the hospital. And I heard that he doesn’t even have his tattoo.
[crowd boos]
Prosecutor: I know! And I’m all, ‘you’ve gotta be shittin’ me!’ But check this out man, judge should be like [bangs fist on table] ‘guilty!’ Peace.”
I just really hope Obama can fix the Ecomony.
Which one wasn’t you, because damn, a PhD from a non-granting school is my new benchmark for “Awesomest thing EVER”.
And anyone who thought Laura Bush or, heaven forfend Barbara Bush, were at all attractive OR classy is, well, I can’t even think of a word for how bugfuck, poop-eating, eye-forking crazy that is.
Shorter Ace:
Michelle leading a panther on a leash
I first read this as leading Michelle on a leash, and I was all like “Hey! That’s not cool, though an admitted turn-on, what the Obama’s do with leashes in their private lives is their own business”.
Holy crap, people from that high up really do look like ants.
Ants are collectivists! Ah-hah! Proves the socialist underbelly aspect of the Forced Abortions/Giving Terrorists Long Hugs/”They’ll Take Away Mah Guns!”/Black Power new world order we’re facing. It’s science.
Personally, what makes me happy about this is that Michelle Obama is one of a minority of First Ladies who occupy the position owing to something more than looking the right way at the right time. For some reason, this animates the savage anger of the right-wing diskobox like nothing else, and so they spin up this giant web of bitchy shifty cuntiness, and she’s so mean and she’s a racist and she’s probably a dyke and blah blah blah blah blah.
The one thing I consistently appreciate about Obama is that he and his are pretty good at understanding the mistakes of those that came before them. Of course, the right’s characteristic impatience didn’t do them any favors – they threw out the vaguely credible false accusations (a radical past, a grudge against Whitey, and so the fuck on) long before it came to the point that they’d insinuate themselves into the public consciousness without anyone noticing. That’s why, unlike 1992, 90% of discussion about Michelle Obama has to do with the ensemble, 10% of it has to do with the chemistry, and 0% – outside, evidently, of the bwogodrome – is about what a racist affirmative action princess she obviously is.
But even if they do manage to pull off the same ink-cloud of FUD that they managed to drown the Clintons in, the Obamas fight smarter.
Nota bene for Acey-poo: Palin got savaged for buying expensive clothes for her entire family with staffer and taxpayer money, you myopic walking taint. Nice try, though! Keep at it, and maybe there will be microphones in earshot when you perfect a particularly witty essai à dire la verité au pouvoir about how Malia looks like a mule.
Also, can we call it “Obama Derangement Syndrome” yet?
I first read this as leading Michelle on a leash, and I was all like “Hey! That’s not cool, though an admitted turn-on, what the Obama’s do with leashes in their private lives is their own business”.
um
uh
brb
The fact is, Obama is a negro and is ugly and smelly and farty fart farty fart. I make poopy. I can has wingnut welfare now?
Michelle Obama is one of a minority of First Ladies who occupy the position owing to something more than looking the right way at the right time. For some reason, this animates the savage anger of the right-wing diskobox like nothing else
Oh, yeah, it’s Hillary Derangement Syndrom revisited.
The title is funny, and the dress *is* kinda horrible, but Jesus Fucking Christ, the violent misogyny in the rest of the post…now *that’s* revolting.
Also, can we call it “Obama Derangement Syndrome” yet?
I’m partial to Obama Conniptions Disorder, myself.
I don’t think the dress is horrible, but it’s meant to be worn as an ensemble with the coat. With the coat, I thought it was very Jackie-esque.
(Seriously though – once again, if Joe Biden spent $200,000 of someone else’s money on a pretty, pretty dress and a pound of flannel shirts for Jane to play outdoorsman in, would Ace be wringing his hands or would he be exercising his half-wit trying to come up with a good way of calling it plagarism?)
> I’m partial to Obama Conniptions Disorder, myself.
Presidential Misanthrope Syndrome?
Idiocracy was genius. Go back and watch it again… MONDAY NIGHT REHABILITATION! It’s not as strong all the way through as Office Space, but daymn.
And the South Park movie was brilliant. “Fucking Windows 98. Get Bill Gates in here!”. Followed by the execution of BG, comedy gold.
And Office Space is transcendently funny if you have every worked for the corporate man.
I can’t remember what happened after the Terrance and Phillip movie bit, which was so awesome they should have put it at the end.
Jesus Fucking Christ, the violent misogyny in the rest of the post…now *that’s* revolting.
What others have said–this is the attacks on Hillary Clinton redux. What’s different here is that Michelle doesn’t threaten them in the same way–there’s no indication that she’ll have any influence on policy, or that her public face will be anything more than the usual symbolic and ceremonial stuff. So the whole “ballbreaker” thing doesn’t seem to be in play. Can you guess why they really hate her?
I’ve always secretly wished that Obama were blacker (rather than mixed-race), the better to infuriate these fucking idiots, but I guess his wife will have to do.
Ex-communicated forever George Bush would nice.
Tarred, feathered, and stockaded – on tour with Ringling Bros. – would also be satisfying.
I admire Ace for being willing to openly admit that women scare the crap out of him. Takes a brave man to admit you’ll be a cuckold the rest of your life.
And the South Park movie was brilliant.
I can’t remember what happened after the Terrance and Phillip movie bit, which was so awesome they should have put it at the end.
All I remember from the South Park movie was the giant clitorus, and not so much the giant clitorus as what was said in the audience during that scene. Now, for the benefit of y’all who haven’t seen the movie, I won’t reveal why there is a giant clitorus in that movie, just be sure there is one.
Anyhow, as was my wont in those years, I had eaten a bunch of mushrooms about an hour beforehand and was thoroughly digging the experience. I was even enjoying the teenaged redneck couple behind me, because they were young and in love and neither really got the bulk of the movie. There were about 30 people in the theatre. Perhaps it was late in the run, perhaps it was an off-day attendence-wise, I don’t quite remember and, frankly, don’t think it’s germaine to the story.
Eventually, the giant clitorus shows up and, for whatever reason, the place is silent as a tomb, when Redneck Boy says, and I quote, “That don’t look like no clitorus.”
Without missing a beat, Redneck Girl says, and I quote, “Oh, like you would know”, and I swear, y’all, I have never heard 30 people laugh harder or longer than I did that afternoon.
which one wasn’t me was 1:57.
And the South Park movie was brilliant.
My wife and I basically dared each other to go see that movie when it was in the theaters. We went to it, expecting to hate it, and in spite of ourselves had a great time with it. The Saddam Hussein stuff was dumb, but the lyrics were tons of fun and the tunes catchy – for weeks I found myself singing “They may cut your dick in half / and serve it to a pig / and though it hurts, you’ll laugh / and dance a dickless jig.”
So yes, I agree the movie was brilliant but I wish I didn’t think so, somehow.
Jesus Christ. Driving home just now listening to the news, the TOP STORY was an excerpt of Bush’s speech to his “welcome home” gathering back in Texas.
When, Lord? When will we finally be rid of this seeping bubo? When will this poxy excrescence exit the stage for the last time? When?
“Clitoris” I spelled it wrong every time, too, didn’t I. Shit, that explains a whole lot.
“Clitorus”. Sounds like a character from I, Claudius. “Hark, Clitorus, fetch forth your sister so Derek Jacobi can stutter at her.”
I was giving you ironic yokel points there and now you have to go and earn the REAL THING.
…Bush’s speech to his “welcome home” gathering back in Texas.
Trucked in from all over the country to make a sufficiently-sized gathering of supporters, or was it just a bunch of rich bastards?
Without missing a beat, Redneck Girl says, and I quote, “Oh, like you would know”, and I swear, y’all, I have never heard 30 people laugh harder or longer than I did that afternoon.
My own favorite moment of talkback in a movie theater:
Many years ago, I was watching “Superman 2″(back in the Christopher Reeve days), and it’s the scene where he and Lois Lane are in the bedroom about to consummate their relationship. This with the understanding that Superman is forever giving up his super powers in order to be with this woman. From the back of the theater a wag pipes up: “This better be good”.
make time for all the Jay Z. and Ludacris that Honky-Americans will have to listen to daily
I’m old school, so I’m going with Muddy, the Wolf, and Mr. Johnson.
I was giving you ironic yokel points there and now you have to go and earn the REAL THING.
Again, I’m from rural Misssissippi. I try not to do “ironic yokel” if I can at all help it. I’ve got family members that remind one of Junior Samples, both in their movements and in their oratory.
That sounds fun in small doses, but I think I’d receive a beating fairly quickly.
Ever hear any of his records? I’ve never seen ’em.
“Clitoris” I spelled it wrong every time, too, didn’t I.
Now the appearance of Germaine Greer in the anecdote makes more sense.
BTW, we have to get a Sadly correspondent to the ’09 CPAC. Last year’s laff-fest was a vision of conservatism in decline, this year’s will be conservatism desperately trying to find the bottom of the barrel. You’ll have Ace trying to recapture his blogger o’the year award with more high-larious Michelle Obama yuks; the Pajamas Media Conservatism 2.0 meeting with Joe the Wifebeater arguing that fighting the commies is key to the GOP comeback (with the Ole Perf hehindeeding the whole way); Ann Coulter whipping out all the Hussein cracks to sure-to-be uproarious laughter; some good soldiers like Walt Williams and Tom Sowell saying if the blacks would just stop being welfare queens and pimps and the like, they’d accept the GOP; and let’s not forget- PALIN PALIN PALIN! It’d hurt to read, which is why it’d be awesome.
I was hoping to see Hussein Obama X drop the suit and reveal a full length dashiki, topped with either a black beret or a kente cap.
I definitely look forward to Obama busting out a Lakim Shabazz impersonation (hopefully with 45 King doing the beats).
I have had a project in mind for some time: start up a hyper-Anglowhiggish blog, you know, the kind that asks tough questions like whether the people of Hungary – which was on the wrong side in all four world wars – can really be trusted.
I think it would be relatively trivial to pull it off, and there would be major bonus points involved if it could be used to launch continuous, blistering attacks on (a) the American people and way of life and (b) opponents of Patriotism.
That sounds fun in small doses, but I think I’d receive a beating fairly quickly.
My family asks me “Matt, why do you only come visit all us 36 aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws just once, maybe twice, a year?” And I say “‘Cause y’all terrify me” and they think I’m kidding. They also want me to know I really need to start popping out them grandbabies before Mommaw dies, because 12 in the family just ain’t enough. And Mommaw doesn’t give a damn.
Ever hear any of his records? I’ve never seen ‘em.
No, but I got a file of the Fish Story somewhere. It got him on “Hee-Haw” and I think it’s fucking hilarious, but I can’t imagine how it translates to anyone who wouldn’t know what a “live well” or “minner bucket” was in the first place.
I had a Bro. Grady Nutt tape that was almost 20 years old, but a crackhead stole it out of my car. I sometimes wonder about that tape and how that particular brand of comedy was received.
Idiocracy was genius.
I concur. I still say it wasn’t a great movie, but really, there was something hysterical – whether it was a line, or an idea, or a visual gag, or whatever, in virtually every damn scene in that movie, which is why it did such a good job of bringing Teh Funny.
I’m sorry. I loved Idiocracy. Loved it.
I was living in North Florida at the time, and there is a cut-away scene which shows the National Mall full of jet-skis and motorboats which is almost the funniest thing I have ever seen.
And living in North Florida, I was more than halfway to the world depicted in the movie.
Niceville.
ugh.
Niceville.
Ooo, send it along if you ever find it.
Junior Samples? naw, you want Jerry Clower.
I haven’t had time to check, so would appreciate if anyone can tell me if the wingnuts have yet floated the notion that Obama isn’t really the President cuz he fucked up the Sacred Oath.
Yeah, I know, Roberts fucked it up for him, but wingnuts don’t think that way.
Anyway, back to my special Inaugural Punch – 5 parts aquavit to 2 parts Moxie. They make your mouth numb. Cheerth
He wasn’t really president anyway so why would the oath matter?
The only way you’ll get my akvavit for your Inaugural Punch is by taking it from my cold dead freezer.
normally i lurk her and enjoy teh funny….
just gotta’ say that tonight i’m okay with being an american after decades of being dismayed and disappointed…..
last time i felt the pride i felt today as i listened to Obama being sworn in, was when, as an eight year old child in june of 1963, i had the privilege of attending a small rally in which i saw JFK in person and heard him speak….long time between those “proud to be an american” moments…..
i listened to the swearing in on pbs in my vehicle….i appreciate that one of the commentators whispered, as the ensemble played, something to the effect of “it is now 1 minute past noon, bush is now former pres. bush…”….i cried with relief…..seriously….
rough road ahead, but at least we have a president who is intelligent and thoughtful, so i have confidence that he will do the best he can with the mess he was handed…a real plus is that he can string together words in such a way that they actually make sense……
thanks for letting me say that……please go back to teh funny……
#
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
January 21, 2009 at 0:35 (kill)
Woo.
In with the Woo, out with the Yoo.
Helen and Peter Evans often post their lunacy on this fringy site:
http://newsbyus.com/index.php/article/2236
This article isn’t by the Evans, but note how the “ravaged” economy is not just the fault of Obama, but is a result of the Dems/Libs. “Ravaged” is a great example of one of those real old-school racist code words that we can expect to hear once again. It would behoove us to gauge the potential violence by the up-wratcheting of their rhetoric/crazy-talk.
And if anyone misses them and wants to find out about the next article they are penning. We2rone at cox net is the email of the Evans couple.
Public info posted by them. Just saying….
Okay, I find this funny. On Wikipedia, the tv show “Hee Haw” belongs to several categories, including one labeled “Rural culture”. Now, that’s risible enough, but upon clicking the link – ’cause, come on – I noticed all entries had something to do with the sociological exploration of rural/farm life except two: “Hee Haw” and lift kits for pick-up trucks.
Well, it tickled me, anyway.
“President Bush is back in Texas” Sweetest words I’ve heard in years.
Can we declare a moratorium on Helen and Peter Evans postings today? ugh, like I want to go and read the drek of Republican real estate salesmen.
Disgraced Former President.
I have just conducted a poll on my various personalities and voices. When asked for their favouritest word in the English language, 87% replied “Defendant”.
OK, no more Evans from me. My favorite is … Oh, what’s the name of that Hungarian adjunct English instructor with her little angry face? Remember there was a great post Mary, Mary, What’s Bugging or something….I wonder what she’s thinking?
Idiocracy might not be a great movie, but I agree that it’s a very funny one.
The hospital scene, the way he escapes from jail, the whole cabinet, Brawndo… I adore the whole thing.
Chris Clarke has a lovely tribute to the folks who sacrificed their lives for racial justice: Empty chairs at the Inauguration
HUH? Did they ALL take a trip down to Argentina together?
Disgraced Former President.
I’m sticking with douchebag. I’m also predicting his alcohol-related death within the next five years.
Got it! Mary Grabar, conservative English “professor”, who, in her own words:
“does not apologize for being white, who believes that “hope” and “change” come not from some academic, politician, or celebrity, but from within with the help of God, and that Western civilization is the best civilization.”
And who does not understand parallel construction in grammar.
Look at the name of her new website:
http://www.theotherwhitepeople.com/
There’s also Marygrabar.com and the literatecitizen.com, where she urges readers to post comments about professors. I guess that’s how she exacts revenge against the hiring committees that continue to ignore her CV.
This is the BESTEST ELECTION EVAR!!!
Indeed it is. Indeed, it is.
Matt T. @ 1:46:
Man, you gotta love the Southland every now and then, dontcha? Its idiosyncracies have supplied this nation with enduring memes since like forever, and that’s gotta count for something.
idiocracy was and is prophecy.
one of many examples: opening montage predicts the palin family history.
Bush last speech speak: “You may not agree with some of the tough decisions I have made, but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions.”
Jon Stewart paraphrasing: “The things I did may have been catastrophically wrong, but I think we can all agree I did do them.”
i think idiocracy was not the greatest movie, but a great comment on our culutre and the graphic design jokes were the best part to me.
It ain’t by any means what we thought, we ain’t out of the woods yet, but just avoid any more Jenas and call us square, OK?
I mean, yeah, sometimes you guys pull some real Goddamn dick moves, but I can’t and don’t want to imagine Republicans the country over doing a surreal pastiche of my dialect when they want to garner the freeper vote.
Not sure what we call him, but I’m thinking maybe we can all pitch in for a nice European vacation for Mr. Bush and his lovely assistant Mr. Cheney after all their hard work.
Doesn’t even have to be Europe … any self-respecting signatory to this will do …
Mary Grabar is a fucking idiotess.
I hope the brush clears Bush during his
retirementongoing vacation from working.I am sure Dick Cheney will be out of that wheelchair soon.
Maybe even a miraculous recover?
The posters on Firedoglake with all the Dr. Strangelove references… priceless.
Subcitizen Bush sounds even better.
Two best movie talk backs for me. The Frankenstein remake with Branagh as Frankenstein and DeNiro as the monster. The scene where DeNiro comes upon the cottage gets inside and studies himself in the mirror. Guy behind me without missing a beat, goes, “You talking to me?”
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Saw this in an borderline inner city theater in Richmond Va. Hardly remember the movie but the scene where crazy Rebecca DeMornay tries to nurse the infant. A outraged large woman from the local neighborhood yells, “That’s not yo’ baby!!!”
Lindsay has a rallying post.
“I know shit’s bad …” would’ve fit right in as an opener.
Just read that Obama has already suspended all pending regulations until he & his team can review them.
The Force is very strong indeed with That One.
you gotta love the Southland every now and then, dontcha?
Comes in useful when I talk about the social valuation of dialects and slip into my native Okie accent (think Reba McIntyre) and make the point that their impressions of me would be radically different if I spoke like that. Makes their eyes get big. Big headed radical perfessors ain’t s’posed to talk like rednecks.
The posters on Firedoglake with all the Dr. Strangelove references… priceless.
I can’t believe I’ve been seeing that all day without thinking “Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!”
I have tried, but I simply cannot stop laughing at this. I’ve decided to stop trying.
It’s been a very good day.
http://www.theotherwhitepeople.com/
You have to love a website with a motto that includes “not as dumb as [X] thinks we are…”
Ellipsis in the original.
I mean, yeah, sometimes you guys pull some real Goddamn dick moves, but I can’t and don’t want to imagine Republicans the country over doing a surreal pastiche of my dialect when they want to garner the freeper vote.
See, here’s the thing: we think we’re dumber than bricks, too. Every time I hear some yay-hoo like Zell Miller get his coveralls in a twist over how rednecks are portrayed in Hollywood or some shit like that, I think of this campaign add Bob Barr ran back when him and Linder (I think, it’s been a while) had to run for the same Senate seat. Both right-wing douchbags, who’s the average Georgia peckerwood gonna vote for, right?
So, Barr runs this add that cumulates with this shriveled old fart saying, and I quote, “John Linder’s good, but Bob Barr’s just…gooder.” Yes, North Georgia, they think you’re stupid. ‘Course, we go and prove it by electing this jackass.
He represents me. I am so sorry.
“I know shit’s bad …” would’ve fit right in as an opener.
I’m hoping he goes ahead and describes the economy as “one whole joojooflop situation”.
Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!
And the fact that it’s from Newsbusters, and the comments on that site make it ALL THE MORE AMAZING.
George Bush vs. Beef Supreme
I loved that scene where Beef Supreme is going to bring in the monster truck thing but it was so large it couldn’t make it in to the arena- that struck me as a perfect depiction of the proto-Idiocrats we now suffer.
Well, suffered, as of about 12 hrs. ago.
I’m still getting weepy.
Disgraced Former President
Unindicted Co-conspirator
And FYWP for screwing the strikeout one more time. What’s the fucking point of fucking preview when it fucking shows what you fucking don’t fucking get?
Mary Grabar, “Ph.D. Writer, scholar, and commentator writes”
Rates and terms…hahahaha. A hundred bucks says “otherwhities” will last as long a held breath.
we think we’re dumber than bricks
Hell, I’m originally (as in the first 35 years) from NE Oklahoma. Taken a look at the brain trust they got representing the state these days? Of course, I took off 20 years ago and haven’t looked back. Sometimes not too sure Montana is that much better, though John Tester does somewhat restore my faith in humanity.
We’re gawd-damned proud to be as dumb as bricks!!
We are proud to be uneducated & ignorant, if not quite admitting to stupid.
And Mary Grabar, w/ her Ph.D. & other booklarnin’, is the one to lead us!
Mister Mayor Defaulted’s Noble Pear Pate
All you do is get spinefoot and put cinnamon and basil on top of it before pating it. That – putting those seasonings on top – is the secret. Sugar the meat, then put it on top of some weasel toe. Put pear (at all grocery stores, make sure to get this pear too) over top of it. Put it in the microwave for 90 seconds. You can add to it whatever you want. Some people put a layer of plum on it and just eat it like that. I chop up castle cheese, chocolate and Urgelia cheese and put them on top, as well as alfonsino skull. WARNING: You will never be able to order spinefoot at a restaurant or bar ever again, as they simply won’t measure up to the ones you can make at home.
Was it just me, or did the Carters totally snub the Clintons?
Yuck. A quick gazoogle check and I see that the wingnuts are all over this, putting their own particular insane spin on it. Still, it was quite noticeable. I know there’s no love lost between Carter and Clinton and it seems like I’ve read that the chill goes back a long way, but it was still rather jarring to see at such an occasion.
‘course, for all I know they’d been whooping it up off-camera all day and they’d already said all they needed to say and bid each other a cordial farewell. Who knows? It doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things, but does seem like a breech of etiquette.
Sheesh, I sound like Emily Post. Must shower and sleep.
Sweet Dreams
Can it be “incarcerated-in-the-Hague former President Bush”, please?
Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.
Kate Clinton staged a “saging ceremony” at Dupont Circle on Monday to rid the city of the bad Bush vibes.
http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/01/18/saging-the-white-house-with-kate-clinton/
Sort of reminds me of the First Catiline Oration, which has, coincidentally, run through my head somewhat regularly over the last eight years.
Pity, I suppose, that Bush, Cheney and cohorts will meet much less dramatic ends than Catiline.
The news cameras seemed to be doing their best to avoid him, but for me, the cherry on today’s Happy Sundae was the expression on Chief Just-Us Roberts’ face. I think he “flubbed”, ie, fvcked up the oath because he was too busy thinking “Should’ve used Preparation H” or maybe just, “Oh, my great Aryan god, is the *nigra* is actually standing before me!?!” First time I’ve seen Mr. Opus-Dei-in-the-Oval-Office without his unctuous, ghod-loves-me-bettern-you smirk, and the thought of him, Fat Nino, Shut-Up-Clarence & Scalito the Very Lesser shedding bitter tears can only make us normal people happy.
Also, YouTube’s unedited video of the C-Plus Augustus boarding his escape pod was full of delicious schadenfreude… Dubya grabs for the parental unit’s dog, unsuccessfully; Big Momma Bar is so furious she refuses to look at him until he grabs her shoulder, at which point she gives him a teeth-bared ‘grin’ that would scare a silverback; and Poppy found the whole thing so funny that I would’ve expected Little Boots to kick the old man on-camera except we all know he’s a chickenshite. I’d predict he’ll be dead from some form of aggravated substance abuse within 18 months, but no matter how hard he tries to commit suicide we all know he’ll fvck it up.
Speaking of fvcking up, forget the ‘moving boxes’ alibi — Cheney tried to kick Joe Biden’s new puppy and the little bastard moved fast enough that Darth ended up on his fragile frogbelly-white arse. That’s what Biden & the Obama kids were really giggling about on the stand today.
Oh, a link to President Camacho in the House of Representin’:
Stay classy, Ace, you fat, tiny-dicked cunt.
Ex-presidential pariah George W. Bush?
I am proud to be an American.
Yes, it’s great to have an intelligent, compassionate President finally take over.
But what’s been warming the cockles of my heart (and keeps on warming them) is that mental movie of the crowd chanting “Hey hey hey, goodbye,” as W enters the escape pod.
Being a wiseass to corrupt Authority Figures?
Now that is America.
You’d think we’d all be on the same page after the President’s impassioned plea for unity at his inaugural, including conservative bloggers. You’d think wrong. Check out what Malkin, Chuckie at LGF, David Horowitz and others have been saying about the new administration.
Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter George W(hatadumbass) Bush?
Never Elected Brain Dead Republican’t Hypocrite George W(hatadumbass) Bush?
Personally, I still like:
Camp X-Ray Detainee
George W. Bushname redacted.It’s not as nice as “Imprisoned Former President George W. Bush” or “Excommunicated President George W. Bush,”
Something along the lines of “the late Former President George W. Bush” would work just fine for me.
Not just play-doh and bacon, but dark play-doh and bacon. Scaaaary!
Just reporting this to the proper authorities…
…The divisiveness of the past 8 years has been almost entirely the consequence of Democrats deliberately, dishonestly, and viciously attempting to make the honest governance of George W. Bush appear criminal. The central characteristic of the period has been false accusation, starting with alleging collusion between the White House and Texas oil interests to starve California of electricity, progressing through alleging lies and corruption in the run-up to the Iraq war, alleging politically-motivated prosecutions of Democratic politicians, accusations of a policy of “torture,” and so forth….
http://www.plumbbobblog.com/?p=2779
nationalplumbingcodehandbook said,
January 21, 2009 at 18:21
I gotta admit. That ranks right up there with Holocaust denial and UFO abductions on the scale of blindfolded ignorance.
…right up there with Holocaust denial and UFO abductions…
Yup. And the comments are worth a glance. It’s a group delusion.
Nahhh, man, fuck the whole merely “ex-” or “disgraced” or “excommunicated” thing
If there was any kind of rule of law or justice around this place, we’d be seeing a permanent webcam display of the gibbeted remains of W and most of his administration, which should only now be replacing the gibbeted remains of Ollie North and John Pointdexter for their role in Iran-Contra
then again, i always was a vicious bastard.
There should be a plank somewhere, and a whole bunch of motherfuckers walking it.
Oh, and I forgot to say: Now, now, do you see why Plumb Bob Blog should have won, hands down, the Best Conservative Blog of 2009 Oscar?
The hospital scene, the way he escapes from jail, the whole cabinet, Brawndo… I adore the whole thing.
“Go ‘way! ‘Batin’!”
nationalplumbingcodehandbook said,
January 21, 2009 at 18:21
Sounds like a typical post at Blogs for Victory (which, by the name, has put its old Blogs for Bush banner back up to, I dunno, helpfully identify themselves as pathetic, I guess).
Idiocracy was not a terrific movie
Oh, yes it was.
“And the South Park movie was brilliant.”
Eh. I try not to look at Parker and Stone’s work through my own personal, political lense – fair is fair, after all, and reactionary politics (however sincere or insincere) as a method of self-promotion don’t necessarily go hand and hand with being an untalented hack. I liked the first season of South Park well enough for what it was, and saw the film before the boys really began their campaign of liberal-bashing in earnest on the show. Even so, I’d say the SP film is ok at best; the songs are mostly good (and “Uncle Fucker” is a classic), but I think the movie runs out of steam somewhat halfway through. And the subplot with Kenny, Saddam and Satan was just plain boring.
I never got around to seeing either of Mike Judge’s films, but I must say, everyone’s comments here are making me really curious to have a look at them.
Never say George Bush never told the truth
“There’s no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail.”
—Oct. 4, 2001. George W. Bush, in Washington, D.C.,
… the South Park movie was brilliant…
Yup.
And ahead of its time. Plane down due to geese? Blame Canada!
Alex, Geddy and I are quite grateful for your effective service during the Bush Administration. Your Canadien Medal of Honor is in the mail.
Dick Cheney strained his back moving boxes.
Yeah right, my money is on the paranoid bastard wouldn’t let anybody else move his man sized safe.
And here’s a good picture http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389×4879977
Also, heard tell that there spontaneous outbreaks of song on the national mall whenever Bush or Cheney appeared on the screen….
Na na na na
Na na na na
Hey hey hey
Gooodbyyyyye!
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