Swift Boats Ahoy!

Move America Forward, the ‘non-partisan’ group behind the Iraq Truth Tour (federally-funded, super-embedded, broadcasting fact-free happy talk from Iraq without leaving the Green Zone…yeah, that Iraq Truth Tour) is taking their non-partisan parade float on the road to Camp Casey.

MAF chairman Melanie Morgan, on the set of some ’80s took-the-teacher-hostage porn flick, it looks like. (“We’ve got an oral pop quiz for YOU, Ms. Gilhooley!” [cue shuffly disco music])

…And the porn movie was called…’Hardballers.’ Hey, no fair! They totally Photoshopped that makeup on her, like they’re always doing!

Melanie Morgan.jpg
Okay, that’s better. Non-partisan conservative plastic surgery queen Melanie Morgan.

MAF’s non-partisan website has non-partisan details, but as sometimes happens, a better press release appeared in the fluttering belfry of Free Republic.

KSFO/San Francisco talk host Melanie Morgan’s group Move America Forward is organizing a counterevent, to take on Cindy Sheehan’s Crawford circus, that has [Randy] Rhodes so excited:

Next week Move America Forward will be leading a caravan to Crawford, Texas – to present an alternative voice to that of Cindy Sheehan, who has become the heroine of the “Blame America First” crowd.

Because the combined voice of the US Government and its legions of media yes-men just isn’t thundering unchallenged across America the way it ought to be.

The Move America Forward’s caravan (the “You Don’t Speak for Me, Cindy” tour) will consist of family members who have loved ones fighting in the war against terrorism – stationed in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

The distinction between ‘loved ones fighting in,’ then ‘stationed in,’ and Sheehan’s case, where her son was killed in action, is notable in that way in which notable things are often slipped into press releases so that you don’t immediately note them. (As is the way the war in Iraq is glancingly, yet carefully identified with terrorism.) The official press copy says that the caravan is being ‘led’ by a mother, Deborah Johns, whose son either ‘served’ or ‘had served’ in Iraq (semantics rule the day here), although ‘led’ clearly doesn’t mean ‘organized’ or ‘conceived.’ Meaning, the “You Don’t Speak for Me, Cindy” tour is set up as a fake grass-roots operation, which is one of Move America Forward’s specialties, just as pretending to be non-partisan is its leitmotif — MAF is of course a Republican front organization, lavishly financed, sometimes with tax dollars.

The truth is that the men and women in military and their families are the strongest supporters of the war on terrorism, and they do not agree with the message or antics of Cindy Sheehan.

Their voices must now be heard – and with your help we will make sure they ARE heard. It is also important to note that every time there are stories that Americans do not support the troops fighting in Iraq it emboldens the terrorist insurgents fighting there.

Ooh! But also, where did Afghanistan go all of a sudden? Hm.

We cannot allow MoveOn.org, Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan to communicate a false sense of weakness to the terrorists overseas.

And here’s Morgan again, this time from an item in the 8/17 Vacaville Reporter:

Noting that she recently visited troops in Iraq, Morgan said the soldiers she spoke to told her that efforts by the anti-war movement endanger them. “They said every time there is a splash in the media by the anti-war left in this country, there are more IEDs that explode because the terrorists realize they can’t win this war on the ground they can only win by making America lose its nerve,” Morgan said.

“Hey Hassan! You’re looking quite bold today!”

“Good morning, Abu and Mohammed! It was the new Moveon.org project — the vigils in solidarity with Cindy Sheehan. It inflamed me with boldness and courage.”

“Ha ha, my brothers — it is all over the liberal media, and America cannot stop its tide of self-hatred and losingness. Now you must excuse me, I am off to blow up troops.”

“Blow up troops! Woo! I will investigate this Moveon.org, but I must say I am still quite intimidated by America’s patriotism and loyalty to President Bush, as evidenced by talk radio and the New York Post’s John Podhoretz.”

“He says that he’s going to blow up troops, Abu! I have personally been afraid to try such things ever since I heard on O’Reilly about all the good news from Iraq that the MSM sneakily suppresses.”

“Hey, remember watching that thing on CNN last night with Cindy Sheehan, and the Lieutenant was all like, Woohoo! The USA totally sucks and is gay! and Rodriguez did that crazy dance with the flag? Well, I was up late reading Molly Ivins after that, and…Oh crap, there’s some guy coming with a rocket launcher. Aieee! Truce! Truce! We renounce Western Civilization!”

Michael Moore & Bin Laden A.jpg
“And let us introduce to you,
The one and only Cindy Sheehan!
Sargent Shriver’s Bleeding Heats Club Ba-aaand!”

Stop laughing, it’s so totally like that in real life. Concerned, non-partisan people are saying so in the press.


Comments: 67


It is also important to note that every time there are stories that Americans do not support the troops fighting in Iraq it emboldens the terrorist insurgents fighting there.

if this is true, then shouldn’t wingnuts have to stop saying how liberals don’t support the troops? by saying it, they are embiggening the terrorists.


by saying it, they are embiggening the terrorists.

They’re giving the terrorists hard-ons?!?!? Yoiks!


Kathleen was making a perfectly cromulent point, that’s all.


nice nips, morgan


I’d want a bumpersticker that says BLAME AMERICA FIRST, but I don’t want to deal with being followed home and getting my car keyed by freaks 😛


I wonder if S,N! has ever unwittingly emboldened any enemies…


I love Freepers with no bras.


How the hell does MoveOn.org have an impact when Baghdad has 4 hours of electricity a day?


What a freakin’ circus. On one side of the equation, we have a history of Anglo-American interference in the politics of the middle-east, an invasion based on lies, wingnuts galore (Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly, FR, LGF, etc. etc. ad infinitum) braying ceaselessly about evil, freedom-hating Muslims and Ay-rabs and on the other side, grief-striken mothers and their supporters thinking people dying for all the wrong reasons is a bad thing.

…which side is emboldening the terrorists, again?

Everyone with half a brain knew that a wingnut-led war for regime change was a baaaad idea. These people are too clueless to lead a war against mildew in their own bathrooms.


Shorter MAF: “every time someone says ‘I don’t believe in the Iraqi Freedom Fairy!’ an American soldier falls down dead.”


I can’t imagine people watching TV waiting for someone to find fault with this craziness and then plan their attacks. Are these people nuts?
There ain’t no power to supply TV with a clear message. Read Riverbend and you’ll know the truth. War is for Suckers and Fools…
An am radio host. Who does she think she is. Have her kids died or fought or anything.
First you gotta’ getem’ to leave Sa Fran Castro.
I swear Americans can’t get it right. Kill. Kill Kill hate abortion love killing innocent children. After twelve years of santions and the weakest military in the world, we lumber through another day of Republiucan fantasy, Bin Laden must be laughing his ass off.


I love Freepers with no bras.

She’s wearing a bra. But it appears to be one that’s too small. And yes, she does appear to be, um, smuggling raisins.


I’ve always avoided FReeperland, but I visited.

now that I’ve deloused myself, i have one observatipn.

Judging by the shortage of comments actually ON the FR toady, I am left to assume the 101st is on deployment.


Move.on is running a grassroots campaign to free osama.

i mean, saddam


Why doesn’t clicking on “yes” under “remember me?” work, usually?
Anyway, are those all pictures of the same lady? The last one is nice–she looks like Virginia Madsen. I need the name of her surgeon. I can’t believe no one mentioned her lipstick in the first picture–I haven’t seen that color since 1989, the last gasp of the fluorescent coral.




lies and cheats and whitewashing? check out George W Bush’s Baghdad Flim Flam Spam Scam: http://cardcarryingmember.blogspot.com/2005/08/psst-wanna-strike-it-rich-in-iraq.html


Mmmm, Corndogs.


You sorry pittifull lot of liberal fools! You’re just jealous because the RIGHT has a monopoly on political hotness. Marie, Michelle, Megan, Amber, Kira, Ann! Need I say more?


always avoided FReeperland ….You just can’t handle the truth you mercury-addled halfwit!


Where’s Trollypants? He’d set you morons straight. Pity the fool that mess with Cap’n T.


Jesus, looks like we’ve picked up a real winner of a troll.


…every time there are stories that Americans do not support the troops fighting in Iraq it emboldens the terrorist insurgents fighting there.

It’s also true that every time a wingnut looks at a hot conservative chick and touches himself with Dorito-speckled fingers Ben Shapiro cries.


Asshat can’t even get the concept of italics straight.


Heh, Indeed.


Yeah, Brad R. nearly got his eye poked out trying to look at his computer screen putting that picture up. Silly Brad R., those fleshly delights are not for you and the GayKK!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! That’s spicy!

Avast yee scurvy dogs, prepare to be boarded!


Asshat doesn’t even know that Asshat is not a good thing to be Field Marshall of. What a maroon.


Arrr! Cap’n T! There does seem to be a prediliction toward buggery on this bog.


Make that an ultra maroon.

Have you ever noticed that the trolls and wingnuts seem to assume homoerotically themed identities?


Nobody can keep italics straight … they’re just too darn slanty! And you can’t dispute that statment unless you’re a celebrated logician. So there.


Thanks, tigrismus, I will dispute it. Italics are straight as a matter of fact, look at this:


All of those characters are perfectly straight. Just leaning is all.


Arrr! Cap’n T! There does seem to be a prediliction toward buggery on this bog.

If only you knew the full exten… wait, never mind…


I dunno, Yosef, they all look a little, you know, fruity to me, if you get my drift.


Ah, Yosef blesses us with a visit and his wit! He must have awakened from his blissful nap spooning with Ukko, GregH, and Pinko Punko.


I resent that remark!


You mean you resemble it.

Eat it!


Yosef! perfectly straight? Just like you! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Major Shortsniffer

Those guys were totaly all about the gayKK stuff in thast other thread. All you losers care about is homonups when you should be blastin that sheehan bitch for bother the prez’s vacation!

We know what they really mean when they say they hate Bush! LOL!!!!1!!!11!!

-Liberals are terrorist-lovin, commie-sympin’, Bush-hatin’ jackasses!


Shortsniffer, that’s just classless.


Learn how to type exclamation points, dumbass.


Megan, what do you say you and I go make bumpity in the night and show these liberal Nancy boyz how its’ done?


Major douchebag, is what I would say. Why don’t you step out of your cross-mowing F150 and say that to my face, Shortsniffer?


I’m sure he would if you’re face wasn’t always buried in someone else ass.


ROTFLMAO!!!!! Leftie Losser!!!!!!!


Uh, if that’s what you call ass, I think you maybe have things turned around. When you have relations with your sig other, is he/she invariably facing the other way? Because I think what you think is ass is not, and what you think is not ass is, and I think you are in big trouble. Especially if you learned sex ed at home school, you mouth breather!

Major Shortssniffer

Pinko Punko? What kinda gay name is that? You like pink huh punk? Not the right kind though!



Is this thread too meta for anyone yet? Oh, troll douches, if you don’t know what meta means, go look it up wherever you learned about ad hominem and bloviate, two expressions that would never have entered your tiny brains were it not for some of your douchey blog overlords.


Are there any real trolls here, or just fellatious ones?


Yeah, and they’re not that cunnilingual with their jokes either!


Oh, I’m real all right and I’m spectacular!


and I’m spectacular!

I do have to admit, that is quite the chapeau.


And as for cunning linguists, it looks like you have that patch of ground pretty well covered, sir.


Don’t you mean fabulous, Asshat? Or perhaps spectacularly retarded?


Alright, quit feeding the trolls, y’all.


Very new here but, I’m willing to bet Trollypants and a**hat went to Catholic schools, so forgive them, trauma you know.


Later douches.

Hey Field Marshall, and Shortsniffer and Jock/Johnson- y’all rock my world. Catch you on the flip side-

Are you guys gonna be at LGF later?


Now what?

Major Shortssniffer

CT, I’m spenidng my time over at Misha’s place later. You should stop by.

I’m threw with this POS place! They don’t want none of us! LOL!!!11!!!


Good riddance to bad trollage!


Damn, y’all.


You know, I thought they were just kidding. I still kind of have the feeling that they were. I mean, if they were really rightwingers, why were they trolling here instead of informing us that they would have their congregations pray for the lost souls at Sadly, No!? I really don’t think they meant any harm, or else they would’ve actually posted something more intelligent than senseless sex jokes.


I agree, it seemed like they were just some punk-ass kids and not real trolls.


Ah, they were just stupid jerrk-oiffs. Right Marie?



Crazy kids these days. I hope they don’t light a homeless person on fire and videotape it.


ROTFLMAO!!!!! Leftie Losser!!!!!!!

They must’ve been drunk. Seriously, that is the kind of things one of my friends types when she’s drunk. And if these fellows were drunk while surfing the internet, I fear for their souls that Satan may have guided their hand. To porn sites, most likely.


Those guys were freaks! Glad they’re gone. Don’t think that it was mere booze. My guess is meth.


I was wondering if they had been here all night. Looks like they took off after a while.


BTW, Nice Rack on that Melanie Babe. Sorry, it had to be said.


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