WorldNetDaily Scoops “Old Media” Yet Again
For the second time this week, WorldNetDaily’s reporters have scooped the media dinosaurs at the New York Times on yet another groundbreaking story:
Chief rabbi sees imminent coming of Messiah
‘He is very near at hand,’ says Russian cleric
Whoa.
Of course, what the rabbi doesn’t realize is that the Messiah has already been here before, and His name is… (Help me out here, Kirk…)
“JEEEEEEE-ZUS-AAAAH!!!”
Russian Chief Rabbi Berel Lazar believes the Earth will soon see the coming a Messiah to judge all mankind.
“We know that he is very near at hand, but he needs not only to be born but also to come,” Lazar told the Gazeta daily.
Uhm, that sounds like pretty licentious behavior for a Messiah, but hey, I didn’t write the damn prophecy…
“The Messiah may well have been born already, but unless he is ordered by God he cannot reveal himself with God’s help and change the world for the better.”
In other words, we’ll know someone’s the Messiah when they claim to be the Messiah. Interesting. So for all we know, the Messiah could very well be this guy:
Or even more frightening, this guy:
At any rate, while I was reading about the, er, coming Messiah, I stumbled upon this related gem:
Farah to speak at prophecy conference
Joseph Farah, founder and editor of WorldNetDaily.com, will be a guest speaker at a prophecy conference next month at Calvary Chapel in Appleton, Wis.
Oh man, that’s just… wow. I so wanna go to that.
Joining Farah at the conference, slated for Sept. 9-11, will be Avi Lipkin, a former Israeli government staff member and expert on radical Islam, intelligence expert and Bible teacher Chuck Missler, Arnold Fruchtenbaum, a messianic Jew who spent time in Soviet prison, and Thomas Ice, director of the Pre-Trib Research Center in Arlington, Texas, among other speakers.
Holy crap. They have someone from the Pre-Trib Research Center speaking there? The “think tank” that was founded by Left Behind author Tim LaHaye and is dedicated to researching end-times prophecy during the Rapture? Damn. This just might be the awesomest thing to happen since the invention of the word “awesome.” (Incidentally, my birthday is September 10. If any kind souls out there are thinking of getting me a present, a ticket to this conference would be the perfect gift.)
Back to WND:
Further information about the conference can be obtained at Calvary Chapel of Appleton’s website.
Done and done! Let’s check out the website!
*skims text*
Well, the website isn’t all that exciting, but there is some interesting stuff, like this biography of featured speaker Chuck Missler:
Chuck Missler
Chuck received a Congressional appointment to the U.S. Naval Academy and then served in the U.S. Air Force. After leaving active duty, he became Branch Chief of the Department of Guided Missiles at Lowry Air Force Base.
Call me a bigot if you must, but I don’t think anyone who regularly attends prophecy conferences should have anything to do with guided missiles. Period.
At any rate, here’s some more about Chuck from Wikipedia (emphasis added):
Dr. Missler holds to a conservative method of Christian theology… His background in engineering and mathematics contributes heavily to his teaching on the Bible describing cosmic codes within the Scriptures and holding to the idea that the Bible is an “integrated message system from outside our time domain” by “telling us history in advance.”
And if that wasn’t weird enough, take a look at this excerpt from Chuck’s profile at RaptureReady.com:
Missler’s book, Alien Encounters, reprinted Feb, 2003 by Koinonia House, offers answers to the questions regarding the cosmic destiny of planet Earth. Are UFOs real? Where are they from? What does the Bible say about them? This reprint also includes a new chapter on government disinformation and possible governmental cover-ups.
And here’s my favorite part (emphasis added):
Chuck Missler is an extremely intelligent man who loves the Lord and has a heart to serve God and others. The only possible negative thing that can be said about Chuck is that he tends to speak slightly above the comprehension of most people. One woman was overheard commenting, “I have no idea what Chuck is talking about, but he must be right.”
Indeed.
Anyway, let’s look at this article that Chuck wrote for Koinonia House Online to learn more about his theories on UFOs (surprisingly, they may have been involved in Noah’s flood):
The emergence of the “Nephilim” was what brought about the Flood of Noah. Who were they? Is the current interest in the possibility of “alien” involvements some how of Biblical relevance?
Genesis 6 indicates that the “sons of God” (B’nai Elohim) took wives of the “daughters of men,” which gave birth to the “Nephilim.” What on earth was going on?
“Damn those B’nai Elohim! They come into our country, take all our women and act like they own the place!”
It was the infusion of these strange beings into the human predicament that brought on the Flood of Noah. The Flood was preceded by four generations of prophets/preachers warning of the coming judgment: Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, and Noah.
It seems that this was part of Satan’s stratagem to corrupt the line of Adam to prevent the fulfillment of the Messianic redemption. Noah was apparently unique in that his genealogy was still uncorrupted.
In other words, God flooded the Earth because a bunch of demons were boinking Earth girls (who, as we’ve seen in movies, are notoriously easy) and spreading nasty demons cooties throughout the human race. Therefore, God was perfectly justified in wiping out 99.99999999999999999999999% of the planet.
This is all very informative, but where do the aliens come in? Let’s scroll down a bit and find out:
There are many who believe that the recent “alien” involvements are also demonic and are just another precursor to the end-time. Some also believe that the Coming World Leader (for more information on the Coming World Leader, see our Briefing Package) may boast of an “alien connection.” It would be consistent from what else we can infer from Scripture.
In other words, there’s a conspiracy between space aliens, the United Nations and Satan to take over the world. I’m kinda surprised he didn’t include feminists, homosexuals and the ACLU, but I guess he can talk about those in later columns.
And keep in mind that Chuck is only one of the featured speakers at the prophecy convention. This may be the greatest gathering of pure wingnuttery since the first John Birch Society meetings back in the ’50s.
Brad, my birthday’s the 2nd and I live in a well-known American state near Wisconsin. I’m just saying. I’d maybe like to learn to prophesy, too! Unfortunately, I have something else to do the weekend of the big conference, but who knows–the 10th itself might find me outside the auditorium with a megaphone and holding some big ol’ Phelps-like sign that reads, “God Hates Heretics.”
Well, I’ll actually be starting class again by then, so I won’t have time to attend the conference *sniff* But if you’d go report on it, you’d be my hero 😉
Ole Chuck is certainly talking about my comprehension. And I have a pretty tall comprehension, standing up, that is.
“Talking about my comprehension” was a Who song. I meant talking “above” my comprehension.
Imminent cloning of the Messiah? I know, we’ll call him Jesus II: Electric Boogaloo! (Prior to being cast into the pit of hell, gnashing, worm, eternal flames, etc.)
Just to be picky about Mr. Missler’s resume. All attendees at the service academies are there by congressional appointment. Each congress critter gets to fill so many slots at each academy each year. Considering the quality of some of our reps on the Capitol Steppes, it is of no surprise that some attendees are a few chromosomes shy of full opposable thumbs.
batshit
Try listening to the Prophecy Club on am radio some time. You’ll hear some of the same loons. Strangely, they promote some of the same tinfoil videotapes I hear promoted on the left. At any rate, today was the last of a week-long series on the “dangers” of Harry Potter!! Woohoo!!!!
Woodrowfan- I live in Commiechusetts, don’t forget. Do they stream on-line? Or are they nationally syndicated somewhere? Oh, and what loony videos does the left promote? I think I have an idea, but I’m not exactly sure…
The Prophecy Club is right about Harry Potter’s limitless evil, I read the proof at World O’Crap.
Of course “alien involvement” can necessitate the replacement of undergarments and several rounds of antibiotic treatment.
When are you going to start paying me royalties for “JEEEE-ZUSSSah”?
It always comes back to the Nephilim.
Can’t you just picture those B’Nai Elohim walking around with their pants hanging low, saying, “Where the daughters of men at?”
Hello,
Not really sure why you are centering your attention on Chuck and trying to downgrade the man. He has some really good points and maybe if you guys would read a couple things you would understand where he is coming from. Of course you had no idea that the mere topic of UFOs is on a higher security clearance than nuclear codes (I didn’t for the longest time). That is confirmed not only by Chuck but by my dad who was a Colonnel in the Pentagon. A lot of things start adding up when you really try to understand it all. The “Angel View” that Chuck proposes is nothing out of the ordinary, in fact that is what all Jewish sages and Rabbi’s from the time of David and on believed in when “benai Elohim” is mentioned. The Benai Elohim is the direct attempt of the fallen angels which is clearly written out, to destroy Abraham’s line that would lead to the Messiah our Lord. Remember in the book of Joshua when they were clearing Israel of its enemies, these enemies were where the Nephilim lived and developed and they weren’t all destroyed according to Joshua, which continues to cause disruption to this day. (Palestine/Middle East disputes)
All in all, I think you gave an unfair assessment of Dr. Missler without really knowing who he is. You forgot to mention that he has served as a CEO or on the boards of 12 publicly traded companies, one of which was 27 on the list of Fortune 500 companies (Rockwell International). Before making your opinion final, it would at least behoove you to watch his series on the contentions you make on the Nephilim to understand where he is coming from. Here is video 1, just follow the links on the right to watch the rest.