The importance of being Amber

When we grow up, we want to go to Amber Pawlik University.

Amber on civilization and literacy:

A child’s development is largely dependent on his environment when he grows up. This is why tribal people in 3rd world countries are still uncivilized, meanwhile near everybody in western culture is at least halfway literate.

Not everybody is literate here, only near everybody. A clear sad state of affairs if you ask us.

Amber on mating (yes, we know!:)

Given it is likely that the mother is of a certain intelligence and she will mate with other men of likely the same intelligence…

Here is a picture of Amber engaging in oral sex with her favorite partner. [Rated PG-13]

Dr. Amber takes your call:

Communists also believed that the proletarians were weak. They also subscribed this not to any fault of their own, but to the bourgeusis, i.e. the property owning class.

We had a case of bourgeusis once. The doctor gave us some ointment and then it went away.

Amber on feminists:

Feminists fail to see the metaphysical link between a woman’s effort and her subsequent success.

(8) I believe I can fly (8)
(8) I believe I can touch the sky (8)

Amber on Ann “not a man, not yet a woman?” Coulter:

In order to rule people, the mystics of both muscle and brain, have been levying on people the illusion of an incomprehensible, higher authority that they can never possibly understand, but are to obey.

Amber on her fans fan:

I am not going to insult my reader’s intelligence

Amber on World War II:

Next in history is our memorial to World War II: the Holocaust Museum. It wasn’t the heroes, our American soldiers, who were given a memorial – but the victims, the German Jews. [Emphasis ours]

Those Jews — always getting the really cool memorials. It’s an outrage!

Amber on war:

There is a reason why evil is largely contained in America, and why America has never initiated any war.

Well, thank God for that!


Comments: 13


I’m glad you’re providing the highlights–don’t think I could stop laughing long enough to read her entire prolific output.

But yeah…those German Jews. Lucky duckies, every one.


Amber is a perfect example of what feminisms next move will be. She is not on the side of men or marriage and the traditional roles of gender, only in the sense where it can benefit Amber. Pay close attention to her and watch her slither like a snake in the grass, if you’re paying attention you will know what move to make the next time feminisms rears it’s ugly head.

Good job, BTW, you have a good handle of that which is Amber.


Gawd, how can you stomach this crap? I would love to get a prescription for whatever it is you’re using.


” I would love to get a prescription for shatever it is you’re using.”

Oxycontin — try the parking lot of your local Denny’s.


I was thrilled to see Sadly, No! put Amber up where she belongs by prominently featuring her seminal work, The Dickification of the Western Female, on the site. What can I say? I love the classics …

There was a time when women put their apron on, knowing full well that this single act had better result in a great meal …

Not only were women in bondage, they were huddled behind one giant apron. Crueler than shared leg irons, if you ask me!

There was a time when a woman would threaten to scratch another woman’s eyes out, because she had the temerity to say bad things about her meatloaf.

My mom assures me that the meatloaf-battle was common among women of her generation. Once the kids were put to bed and hubby, four cans into his nightly six-pack, a woman would join her fellow chicks on the outskirts of town for this enthralling, panty-revealing rumble for primacy. It was the precursor to Iron Chef, only without soy or other flavor-giving ingredients (and a bit more eye-clawing.)

I have to agree with Amber’s advice to the Unelected Fraud, though. Dubyah really should use his feminine wiles to rein in the violent ambitions of that horrid, beastly Dick Cheney.

I want our unelected public figures to be more like a proper wife — kind, helpful, and eager to tell their man they’ll do anything to make them happy when they fcuk up, instead of telling them that maybe invading Iraq wasn?t such a bright idea after all.


I used to levy illusions; but after reading Amber I subscribe it to the influence of German Jews.


i’m glad that someone finally did a joke about that subscribe/ascribe thing. will there be a sadly no twelve days of christmas feature? (btw posting this from the new phone)


The doctor gave us some ointment and then it went away.

Hard to believe you didn’t say that the doctor subscribed some ointment. Probably too proud to go for the easy laughs–


America has never initiated any war. That’s certainly good to know. Don’t let those libruls try to tell you otherwise.


Amber rules! Hottest baby on the whole cell block. Ranks right up there with Kathy Bates as a pin-up. My kind of babe… to get her address soon as my parole is granted, gotta meet Amber in the flesh. What a hottie……and smart too. Tells those feminist type weirdos to get their act together. Amber, you are my kind of girl! (Write me at, Billy Jack Johnson / Yuma State Penitentiary, Yuma Arizona, Cell Block ‘D’)


yeah… those stupid, money grubbing jews don’t need a memorial. every patriotic american knows the holocaust didn’t even really happen.


this is so cool!


fagets losers bich


(comments are closed)