Actually, the reason I think most terrorists hate America is because we keep letting hawkish pricks fuck over countries in the Middle East and Central Asia for the hell of it, and to show Russia, China and the European Union who’s still boss.

But hey, I don’t have a website, so what do I know.

Yer black helicopters ain’t a gittin’ me, Obammy!

Heh.

World-O-Crap has enough to do already, alright?

Take a look at how he edited down the Meryl Streep quote…

“We export the crap. And then we wonder why everybody hates us and has a distorted picture of what Americans are.”

Full quote: “What we do now is withhold films from most of America, which is shocking. And what do we withhold? The best films. If you live somewhere 30 miles out in mall-land, you can’t see all the great movies. Same with the rest of the world: We export the crap. And then we wonder why everybody hates us and has a distorted picture of what Americans are. We should export the best movies we make.”

I agree that it is a travesty that American popular opinion does not determine the Oscar winners. Spider-man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest should have CLOSETS full of Oscars!

Toby’s turn as a douchey little emo shit was brilliant!

Politicians need to pay attention to the [box office] results as close as studio executives. Or elections beware.

Got a touch of the Swank/Grogan in him, doesn’t he? And he is so fucking wrong on so many levels.

Two old saws about Hollywood: “Catholic values sold to a Protestant nation by Jews.” Which is obviously to what Andy would like to return.

The other, possibly attributable to Samuel Goldwyn & surely applicable to any screenplay (I type screenplay, because nothing this idiocy inspires will get beyond that stage) from the Big Hollywood shitpile is:

“And what is the audience doing while this is on screen?”

Yours from Big Hollywood,
I remain, etc.

Some of the villains are Eurotrash international terrorists, too. I’m not sure how that fits into The Bart’s worldview, but he better get that right in the future, or Rutger Hauer’s going to beat his ass.

Clif: Is there any added meaning to the leprechaun hat (Like a bog-monkey joke?) or is merely a perfect fit for Larry Fine there?

M. Bouffant said,
January 6, 2009 at 8:12 ·

Clif: Is there any added meaning to the leprechaun hat (Like a bog-monkey joke?) or is merely a perfect fit for Larry Fine there?

Mostly just the fit. Also, it matched his beverage of choice. And, most importantly, it just looked silly.

But hey, I don’t have a website, so what do I know.

Yeah, Leon, you, Stalin & Khrushchev are about the only guys who don’t, so go get one!!

You have an excellent title already.

I see the latest version of Photoshop has added a Cheeto dust tool.

i just want you guys to understand that however douchey breitbart seems to be based on his writing, and on his photo, please know that in person he is a fine and wonderful example of a great and lovely guy such a total fucking weasel shithead loser. that’s it. i spent some quality time in my twenties at parties he frequented and even then his schmuckery was apparent for all to see.

I’m gonna boycott that Hollywood guy.

What?

OK, I’m gonna boycott the Hollywood COMPANY.

What?

Rubric??

I sure as hell CAN SO boycott a rubric!

Finally, someone who is willing to fight FOR American Corporations and AGAINST Meryl Streep.

God Bless Andrew Breitbart and God Bless America.

Heard an ad for American Carol, touting it as the most hilarious movie ever made according to many critics. Do you suppose all these adoring critics all write blogs and post on LGB? Because the reviews I saw said it stunk.

I assume that “American Carol” is funny in the way that “Mallard FIllmore” or “Thomas Sowell” or “Jonah Goldberg” or “The Passion of the Christ” is funny.

You’re laughing at them, not with them.

Big Hollywood is gonna be more of that (not really so) elusive “comedy gold.”

Andrew Klavan is already hard at work.

No Country for Old Men, a decidedly conservative film that linked the evil of its nihilist serial killer to the decline of morals since the 1960’ [sic] s. “Once you stop hearing sir or ma’am,” says the film’s lone moral voice, “the rest [of the evil] will follow.”

Sums it all up. The oppressed stop kissing up to their oppressors w/ “sir & ma’am” & it’s nothing but serial killers. As a matter of fact, no one had even heard of murder before Timothy Leary started dropping acid & they let the darkies vote!!

I liked Old Country but would never think the lead narrative’s view must be what any film is “about”. One could just as easily say it was about the impotence of the old ways in dealing with evil. Or about corporate corruption since they hired the sociopath in the first place. Who, incidentally is not a nihilist. He does have a moral code, it just isn’t a human one.

And speaking of pathetic wingnut movies. How did “My Christmas Sweater” do? Ahhhh… it’s already on Over Stock dot com. That was fast.

I had no idea Orson Bean was still alive.

He’s also the only one I ever heard of over at the conservative answer to huffington this guy has attached his name to.

Orson Bean is in on this yousta-be stuff!? Back in the 1970s, he sent his kids to the hippiest public school in LA! I know, I was there!
It’s all another case of “what in Gods name do these people want.”
Movies are, mostly, consumerist as hell. The makeover scene, set to peppy, usually nostalgic music, staged in a department store or a boutique–is as entrenched in cinema as the jump cut.
Movies are satisfyingly sexist, urging women (from 16 up) to settle down and squeeze out babies. I just saw a legendary Irish actress, now in her 70s, once justly renowned as a great interpreter of Joyce, acting in the plum role of a horny landlady who takes out her dentures to give Jim Carrey a blowjob. (And the hell of it was that Jennifer Coolidge had just done that exact same joke two months previously, and so much better.) It’s an industry that gives Julliard-trained actresses the chance to utter lines that boil down to “Look out, Magnum, he’s got a gun!”
The side effect of the rule that comedy depends on archetypes is, of course, racial stereotypes: the gabbling foreign taxi driver is a staple, here to remind us that we have it good in the USA.
Movie after movie, and I’m not at all including The Dark Knight or the new Bond, endorses the code of the west. You cannot trust the government, only a man taking matters into his own hands will bring justice. We just had a Rambo movie 12 months ago, and it was even well received.
Incidentally, I actually paid money to see An American Carol in a theater, just so I could say I did, if I ever got into an argument with a conservative. One other person sat there in the auditorium, also without laughing, even through such timely conservative gags as a crippled kid getting pushed into the water. I missed My Christmas Sweater, but I think Sponge Bob Squarepants did that story better, anyway.

Squeeze out babies? I always thought the point was to keep trying and missing.

Screenwriter John Rogers says that people who claim that conservatives are oppressed in Hollywood are talking complete rubbish:

SHORT VERSION:

1.) If you are a Hollywood conservative who feels uncomfortable talking about politics because most of your co-workers are aggressively, vocally liberal –you are a person with whom I sympathize.

To be honest, I don’t sympathize to any great degree, because frankly you should grow a pair. But I get it. I would urge you, however, to go ahead and bring it up in conversation if you feel so inclined. It’ll be fine. It’s been fine for the last 15 years I’ve been having arguments in writers’ rooms. It’ll make an interesting lunch. Just don’t mistake argument for oppression, because that’s punk shit.

If you think I can’t empathize with your plight, you have not been at the shabbat dinners where I suggested that Israel clusterbombing Lebanon was a war crime. To be fair, the time I asked how much longer Jews could “legitimately play the Holocaust card” was probably a wee more awkward …

2.) If you are a Hollywood conservative who feels you may lose work because liberals will torpedo your career — you are a person with whom I sympathize …

… but doubt that it will be a problem in 99.9995% of situations, based on my 15 year career of hiring, and being hired by, and working with conservatives in Hollywood. Counter-examples of career damages are anecdotal (I mean that in the statistical, not disparitive sense), and no system can correct for individual intolerant douchebags.

I understand your unease, even if I think it’s generally unjustified. A bit like liquid explosives on planes, if you get my drift. Oh, and you kind of have to pretend that post 9/11 Hollywood never happened. But cool.

3.) If you are a Hollywood conservative who believes that conservatives in Hollywood currently suffer widespread, organized and systemic career damage at the hands of liberal Hollywood to an extent which is in any way comparable to a blacklist, never mind The Blacklist — which as noted involved Congressional hearings, public disgrace, federal jail time and the utter termination of your working careers — you are the self-pitying self-indulgent narcissist with your head super-far up your ass to whom I was referring.

You may also be a manipulative hack who enjoys the publicity that comes with being a contrarian. Either/or. Possibly one spiced with the other. Or you may not actually understand the meaning of the word “blacklist.” I’m down with any of these.

Methinks someone’s Very Special Screenplay, with the heroic corporatist overcoming immense obstacles to oppress and make miserable any number of adorable old character actors, just isn’t selling.

Um. How is this “argument” any different from:
1. They hate us because we don’t decapitate our kweers!
2. Heathen Jews control Hollywood (and everything else)!

While John Rogers has some neat views, and exposes the canard of anti-conservative Hollywood, he’s essentially wrong about one thing – most of the blacklisted writers, actors, and directors did eventually come back, even winning Oscars. Years later maybe, but still their careers weren’t terminated, just had a long interruption.

Except for poor souls like John Garfield.

Can someone please name the last movie that wasn’t made by a right wing Republican like Stallone, Schwarzengger, or Willis that featured the US military as the enemy of Americans?

Cuz I’m scratching my head and I got nothing, except Rambo, Predator, and Die Hard 2.

Gee, that’s funny, Mock Klavan…I thought “NCFOM” was about a botched drug deal and the lives it affected…

You know how they made Alien vs. Predator. Well you know what would be cool, Die Hard vs. Rambo.

Wow, I guess I really should read the comments al the way to the end, cuz A212 kind of beat me to it.

Two thumbs up.

Cur,

I missed Aliens. That pitted the military against The Corporation, so that must have had Breitbart spinning in his diapers.

Aliens was pretty complex in the themes it pushed. Importantly the theme of strong family cohesion theme was paramount, albeit a bit round-a-bout with Ripley, Newt, and Hicks. This strong family unit was capable of getting through all of the obstacles presented by the corporation, the incompetence of the Marines, and of course the Aliens themselves. Ripley as the good mother figure eventually saved her “family” from the Queen Alien as the bad mother figure. Note also that Newt survived on her own not with any assistance from the company but rather upon her own instinct.

In any event, yeah, corporation bad, no matter how you slice it.

I guess what is central to my point is that Monster Vs. Monster = cool. Bad Ass with a gun vs. Bad Ass with a gun = cool.

Anyway, I get why teen males like Rambo, but my guess is that Breibart would side with Rambo and not the small town sherif that kicked him out of town. I guess it is the anti hero thing or the fantasy of projection.

Man, I’m getting too old for this shit.

Some of the villains are Eurotrash international terrorists, too.

Do they still do the Asian-guy-with-a-bleached-buzz-cut cliché too, or is that out of date? I don’t get to the movies much.

Fantasy of projection. It’s ALWAYS the fantasy of projection with them.

To be fair, after seeing Mannequin, I began to have serious doubts about Western society’s right to exist.

Note also that Newt survived on her own not with any assistance from the company…

Or from UNCLE SAM!!! TAKE THAT BIG GOVERNMENT LIBS!!!!onety-woo!!

Sorry.

This is not to contradict your point, but one of my favourite parts is where Ripley finds the locator dealie that has fallen of Newt’s wrist and begins to despair that she has lost the little tyke. It’s then that Newt awakes to find herself about to become facehugger breakfast, and she does the one thing she’s best at, and that she spends half the movie doing: she screams. In doing so, she alerts Ripley and saves herself. So while Ripley has taken on the mother role – she has become the person who will always hear you scream, even in space – Newt also has to take on a daughter role, learning to trust etc etc, as well as being self-sufficient.

Man, I’m getting too old for this shit.

You’ll be bach.

I think Clint Eastwood sums up the plight of conservative values in Homoywood with his latest effort, Gran Torino, very nicely. After you tell them all to, “get off my lawn”, what’s left?

From the mission statement: “To make Hollywood something we can believe in – again.”

If this isn’t self-parody, nothing is.

Longer Breitbart: “The essence of my kind of right-wing ‘conservatism’ is not market forces and–sorry, Ayn–not objective reality. It’s faith. It’s having something to believe in rather than having something to know. With enough faith, I can ignore the world, curry favor with the powerful, and pretend I’m a ‘hero.’ I can remain the resentful 14-year-old I essentially still am–”

(I said Longer.)

“–and avenge myself on the cool kids who thought they were (and indeed were) smarter, sexier, funnier, more talented, and more popular than I was. So now I want the industry that makes fantasies for them to make them for me. Because my fantasies are patriotic, and super moral, and proud. My fantasies prove that I’m better than they are, because it feels that way. It’s called ‘faith.'” (Pauses, dries eyes.) “Who’s with me!?”

I don’t think it’s a leprechaun hat, maybe it’s a tumor?

“After you tell them all to, “get off my lawn”, what’s left?”

Shooting them and then whining about being “oppressed” when the officer tells you to watch your head as he stuffs you in the back seat of the radio car?

Truthfully, I don’t know what conservatives like Breitbart are whining about. If anything, Hollywood is more reactionary than ever. Watch any old film from the ’30s or ’40s, for example, and the women are more feminist and independent than almost anything you’ll see nowadays. My own particular era was the ’80s and early ’90s, and that shit was overwhelmingly rightwing in outlook. I can’t so much speak to the last 15 years.

But all of that aside, their main problem is seeing everything through a political lens. When I watch one of those old movies, and I get to the part with the comic relief negro, I might roll my eyes a bit, but I don’t slam down my remote and exclaim “This is an outrage! I vow never to watch classic Hollywood again!”. I just settle back into my suspension of disbelief and enjoy the fucking thing the way I’m supposed to.

The problem with rah-rah conservative movies like Independence Day is that assholes like George W. Bush think they represent reality. Hence the “Mission Accomplished” flightsuit thing.

I mean, what if Barack Obama decided Hancock accurately depicted how black heroes should act? OK, there’d be more drinking at the White House, but what else?

Me,
It’s amazing to see the tension caused when the Comic Relief Negro encounters a black person who’s unwilling to cave to the Hollywood stereotype. A few Hollywood shorts are like that – I saw one with Cab Calloway a couple of months back where everyone around him was a stereotype and he wouldn’t go along with the program, speaking clear English and not tomming it up. It was fascinating, almost better than seeing a non-stereotypical black part.

It’s also fun to see women working during the Depression and even owning businesses. While it’s refreshing to see that openmindedness back then, it’s hardly so wonderful to see it now when practically no progress has been made in popular films. Compare a movie such as Heat Lightning against a recent popular hit and see the difference.

FYI, I just left this comment on Breitbart’s introductory post. We’ll see if it survives moderating:

Super idea! Great and not at all tone deaf or self-pitying!

I look forward to a cohort of pundits, “cultural critics,” and show-biz self-promoters, whose every political opinion and prediction of the past eight years has been completely discredited, campaigning for more movies like the religio-snuff-porn Passion of the Christ and the dumb-by-numbers An American Carol!

And yes, by all means: create, for us, “a Hollywood we can believe in.” Because as long as you believe that that phrase isn’t idiotic on its face and artistically doomed to lead to simplistic, brain-dead propagandistic movies bordering (on both sides of the border) on the demagogic, then it isn’t!

You have the gift of faith! And it’s non-returnable!

The thing I like best about that photoshop job is how he totally looks like he’s wearing his real hair and not some ill-fitting sproingy wig.

I can’t wait for movies like:

Taxes are Due, Goshdarnit
Rent/Eviction
I Remember Reagan
Easter II: The Revenge
The Mighty Bombers of Justice
Kos Gets Killed
Red State Strike Force
Left Behind

What? They made that last one? Oh well.

To their (threadbare) credit, they ran it. But read the other comments. Enthusiasts to a man!

As I told the wife, You could work full-time on a web site solely dedicated to mocking this one site. A gold mine? A gold PLANET.

(A few years ago I contributed to a show-biz site called The Stump, that S,N’s Robert Green and g and others might know. One of the (few) house “conservatives” was Melanie Graham, whose every opinion, courageously and stalwartly expressed, was moderately stupid and deeply wrong. And here she is! A featured contributor. Yes, as Lorne Michaels once said about our modern world, “Nothing ever goes away.”)

If anything, Hollywood is more reactionary than ever.

Bingo, which is a big part of why I don’t get to the movies much. I don’t view everything through a political lens, but I do find the current catalog of stereotypes (cringing women, dumb macho men, &c.) annoying as hell.

Hollywood totally has sacred cows, but they’re not the ones Breitbart & the other conservatards think they are. I’m out of touch, but I’m guessing that, for instance, casting abortion in a good light or consumerism in a bad light are rare in mainstream movies.

But one of the linchpins of modern conservative “thought” is that liberals control everything, no matter what’s really going on.

Someone in comments adds this awesome poem from American Stinker:

Hollywood during World War ll

What an entirely different kind of brew
Of manly men and women with courage.
You couldn’t stop or even discourage
A Dietrich, with a Nazi price on her head,
From joining Bob Hope and others who led
The way overseas to entertain gals and guys
Who were the real stars in celebrities’ eyes.
Carole Landis, Frances Langford never seemed to mind
That they traveled in danger and left glamour behind.

Over enemy skies Jimmy Stewart flew.
Volunteers Tyrone Power and Clark Gable knew
Their fame and fortunes would soon go under
If the Axis forces were allowed to plunder
The country they loved, that had given them fame.

Bette Davis, Joan Crawford got in on the game
With the Hollywood Canteen where the lonely could take
A much needed respite, a well deserved break
From the fears that they faced or were just back from.
Lana Turner scrubbed dishes. Lorraine Day would come
To serve hot coffee. Hedy Lamarr passed around
Warm smiles and comfort. Tired hearts would rebound.

Producers and Directors rose to the occasion
To reassure us our homes were safe from invasion
When we had no idea what the end would be,
When we weren’t at all certain of victory.

And Hollywood now, when we should all be embarrassed
By squirrel—brained celebrities who have badgered and harassed
The strong and the brave who give the best they can
To safeguard the freedoms of every pathetic unman
And unwoman who manufacture all the tears they can crank
As they mince and they smirk on their way to the bank.

Mimi Evans Winship

Work of such quality will bring the unmen and unwomen to their knees, where mincing is very difficult to pull off.

Let us drink the brew of manly men and women with courage!

I really like that poem.

Love how that poem works in homophobia:

>>As they mince and they smirk on their way to the bank.

‘Cause we fags just hate the country.

I like that the squirrel-brained badger people.

ACLU: Alien Menace

I Am Not Gay!

The Enemy (Science) Strikes Back

Keyboard Commandos: The Battle for Mout-ain-dew

The Dinosaur Whisperer

The Life and Times of Lady Palin

B. Hussein: The Darkening of America

Hollywood totally has sacred cows, but they’re not the ones Breitbart & the other conservatards think they are.

Chief among them being our “way of life”. You would be hard pressed to find a more perfect example of capitalism than the movie industry. Indeed, it may be the single most successful capitalist enterprise in history. If Karl Marx had lived to see it, he would have made it the focus of his writings.

The thing is, Hollywood slavishly follows cultural trends, it doesn’t set them. Take a look at movie history, it’s always a few years behind the curve, but always eager to step up to the plate when called on by the establishment.

This is what makes Breitbart and every other conservative Hollywood-hater so exceptionally retarded: they’re right in the middle of a free market paradise, but either too stupid or too untalented to take advantage of it.

Legalize said,

January 6, 2009 at 21:18

The porn industry would have to change, too.

The Count of Mounted Crisco

The Crisco of Count Monty

Mounting Count Crisco

Heard an ad for American Carol, touting it as the most hilarious movie ever made according to many critics. Do you suppose all these adoring critics all write blogs and post on LGB? Because the reviews I saw said it stunk.

I’ve seen one ad for the AC DVD, and it featured exactly one critic blurb (describing it as “laugh-out-loud funny” or some shit like that). The source of that blurb? The National Review.

I thought that was

Leaving Las Vayg’s Ass.

The Full Monty, Criscoed?

I Am Not Gay II: Cured!

Homeschool Cop

Roots (it’s a comedy)

This is what makes Breitbart and every other conservative Hollywood-hater so exceptionally retarded: they’re right in the middle of a free market paradise, but either too stupid or too untalented to take advantage of it.

You said it!! :Stupid & untalented.”

And, because H’y’w’d opportunity is based on personal relationships, “not what you know but who you know & blow” (Detecting any bitterness there?) the fact that these brain-dead authoritarians probably go everywhere w/ a chip on each shoulder, & lack of social skills so common to these types, also might have something to do w/ their being failed losers in the free Hollywood market.

Homeschool Cop

Better get that one registered at the writer’s guild ASAP, I think it’s gold!!

Drama:
Saddleback Mountain

Action:
Persian Dawn

Teen Comedy:
Creation Science

I quit Teh Business a long time ago. Consider “Homeschool Cop” to be public domain.

Um, not to be a pedant or anything, if “It’s not what you know but who you know and blow” is true, then it’s not a free market. Then again, was there ever a true free market anywhere?

if “It’s not what you know but who you know and blow” is true, then it’s not a free market.

Sure it is, just with a different currency.

Um, not to be a pedant or anything, if “It’s not what you know but who you know and blow” is true, then it’s not a free market.

Do you know what a reach-around with the Weinsteins goes for these days?!?!?!?!?!?

Oops, sorry, Gilchrist! Stepped on your joke.

Damn, my timing is off!

Andy IS correct about one thing: the motion picture biz rarely proceeds based on the actual merit of the project. Whether the picture is any good rarely enters the equation.

No worries. Yours is funnier.

Andy IS correct about one thing: the motion picture biz rarely proceeds based on the actual merit of the project. Whether the picture is any good rarely enters the equation.

I’m not sure I completely agree with this.

I think there’s a threshold with respect to “good”: it has to be good enough to earn something. So most films released are at least adequate to entertain enough of an audience to merit consideration.

Now, as to whether we’d want to watch them in ten years sitting on the couch, with commercial breaks, that’s a different bar to pass over.

Well, right. In Hollywood “good” is defined as “can this make us a profit.” Then again, I believe that most Hollywood movies don’t make enough money to justify their costs. It takes 1 or 2 to hit it big to make up for the losses incured by the dregs. Maybe the system is more efficient these days.

In the indie world I’m not sure even that making money is a criteria. I’ve been a part of a lot of indie pictures that were neither substantively “good” nor reasonably calculated to make any money.

In the indie world I’m not sure even that making money is a criteria.

I would guess not, or at least it isn’t for everyone. The only indie filmmaker I know much about finances his work by scraping together whatever he can by making commercials and stuff, and then he will make a movie on the super-cheap, not (AFAIK) expecting to earn anything from it. He knows some local celebrities who will work for him just for fun and hires extras by buying them sandwiches.

It’s about the art, man!

Sure it is, just with a different currency.

Not to be a pedant again, but wouldn’t that be like buying milk from your brother-in-law because his sister gives good blowjobs? Not exactly a mark of quality in the product you’re after.

wouldn’t that be like buying milk from your brother-in-law because his sister gives good blowjobs?

No. But you’re right about it not being a mark of quality.

And Hollywood now, when we should all be embarrassed
By squirrel—brained celebrities who have badgered and harassed

Anyone who rhymes “embarrassed” with “harassed” should not be allowed to draw another breath.

So, it’s more like buying your milk from your brother-in-law because he gives good head.

Then again, I believe that most Hollywood movies don’t make enough money to justify their costs.

If you believe either side of those press releases: how much it makes or how much it costs.

I have a friend whose done the accounting for a few studios. Many of these execs got their start in the shmatte trade. They know how to hide the money. Hell, my union newsletters are filled with stories about this guy fighting to get his money or that guy fighting and usually coming up with some miraculous settlement and a non-disclosure agreement.

I’ve been a part of a lot of indie pictures that were neither substantively “good” nor reasonably calculated to make any money.

*sipping herbal tea*

I wouldn’t know anything about that…*glaring at his agent’s card*

squirrel-brained badger people?? Oh my GOD! Everybody, run for your lives!!

So, it’s more like buying your milk from your brother-in-law because he gives good head.

I’m thinking it’s more like buying milk by giving head.

squirrel-brained badger people?? Oh my GOD! Everybody, run for your lives!!

The in-laws in town, MzN? 😉

So conservatives think the rest of the world is as dumb as them. They think everyone believes that law should be based on the reaction of Jack Bauer to sensational fictional situations and that the attitude of all sex educators toward teenagers can be deduced from a scene in “Juno.”

Yep, I think gals like Bridget Jones are always fought over by Colin Firth and Hugh Grant look-alikes. Guys like Seth Rogen get beautiful blonde sex partners. And housewives are all such glamorpusses. And CSIs are all witty and attractive and have fascinating personal lives.

I saw it on the screens. It must be true.

actor212: If that were the case I’d have already run. OMG.

Not to cut off this discussion of who sucks off who for milk, but Gary Graham’s rant at Breitbart’s Hollywood site is some funny shit. It’s like an anthology from myrightwingdad.com with a touch of that faux-tough guy bullshit chickenhawk wingnuts are so fond of.

“Raising taxes takes food off my family’s table. I regard people who advocate doing so in the same vein as I would the burglar I confront in the dead of night – an enemy.”

And then he gets around to musing about requiring some sort of intelligence test for potential voters. Uh-huh.

squirrel-brained badger people??

Those aren’t badgers! They’re WOLVERINES!

The true excellence of the poem about the gay actors selling out their country because they are gay and traitorous is in the rhyming scheme, which, and this is central to my point, seems to have been performed by a computer programme.
What do the squirrel brained Badgers eat? Manly person’s gonads ?

Gary Graham’s rant at Breitbart’s Hollywood site is some funny shit.

Very true. As to food off his family’s table:

Gary Graham was born in Long Beach, California and grew up in and around Orange County. The son of a medical doctor, he too aspired to a career in medicine. However, despite showing prowess in the medical sciences, Gary left pre-med to study theater arts at the University of California, Irvine […] He lives in a small town outside of Los Angeles, where he enjoys spending time with his family, working weekends as a volunteer Ski Patroller, golfing and flying.

Ladies and gentlemen, Gary Graham is obviously living on the knife-edge between just scraping by and catastrophe.

“Prowess” in the medical sciences, heh heh…

“Prowess” in the medical sciences, heh heh…

Do you think he meant “promise” or is he just that pompous?

Jeez, what a foaming rant. Note this:

“All that is necessary is for an individual’s right to personal property to become a secondary concern. The ‘needs’ of the group must supercede, dontcha know. It’s a vicious cycle – wants become needs become rights. The fact that the thievery is done at the behest of a ‘civilized’ government does not sanitize the crime.”

This is echt-Rand right out of Atlas Shrugged–a novel in which the heroes bravely defy, not only a straw man, but an entire straw civilization of non-existent men and women.

And then there’s the usual right-wing rant about “whatever happened to people taking responsibility for their actions,” from a flaringly proud nitwit who I’m sure defended Bush and the adminis oh never mind, jeezus, these people. (And the COMMENTS. Mommy, if there is a God, why are there so many idiots on the right?)

However, despite showing prowess in the medical sciences, Gary left pre-med

He showed prowess at the pre-medical sciences? Did he cruise through chem 101? Breeze through bio?

You know, Graham won’t get work after this rant, not because of his beliefs but because he’s convinced everyone he’s an intolerant bully who’s easily annoyed.

Also Gary Graham:

Lastly…can we finally be done with all the hatred?

Goddamn, that Big Hollywood site is the gift that keeps on giving. Now Virgin Ben is in on the act.

Dear Principal Onyx Blackman,
Thanks for the link to this jerk who feels he must defend the Christian Phalangists, my evening is now officially ruined. Why don’t these chicken hawks arm up and go fight their gabbling foe if they’re so damned eager to drink blood and crunch veins in their teeth? I’ll never know–

Someone needs to tell Mr. Graham that the massive debt that Republicans invariably leave the rest of us with as they saunter out the door is a tax.

Thoroughly enjoyed your post on Gary Graham, RB. You think that essay was bad you should see his web site. He’s certifiable.

Didn’t he steal some stuff from Jack Handy?

It’s mostly excerpts from his book Why No, You Must Have Mistaken Me for Jeff Goldblum.

I am still loving this Big Hollywood shit. It may even become my wingnut blog of choice. El DoPa has gotten in on the act,a nd now there’s some hand-wringing that Jack Bauer may ponder his carnage a bit. Seriously.

Boo hoo. Site seems down.

(Pauses, dries eyes.) “Who’s with me!?”

WOLVERINES!!!

Oh my GOD. He used that scene from NCFOM to make his point? Did he completely fucking ignore that the very next line is an older, wiser character telling Tommy Lee Jones, in so many words, “Bullshit, people have always been bastards”?

If anything, Hollywood is more reactionary than ever.

Thank the Gods for Michael Bay.

I love you people.