Ask A Sociopath Vice-President
Posted on January 4th, 2009 by HTML Mencken
Erick the Dim, who’s kinda like Hagar the Horrible except with less hair but more brain damage, is setting off on an errand:
The Vice President’s office has invited me up to D.C. this week to sit down with Vice President Cheney for an “exit interview” looking back over the past eight years.
Above: “Iraq puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”
Let’s give Erick some substantive questions to ask Mr. Cheney during those moments when the fluffing stops because the pain in his jaw overwhelms even the most sycophantic Viking’s resolve to pleasure mass-murdering psychopaths:
- What’s the proper time and setting for microwaving a live puppy?
- The gun, that guy’s face, you know what I’m talking about — didja do it because you were trying to help him shoo away a fly, or because you just wanted to see what it felt like to shoot somebody?
- Can you describe what an infant’s flesh actually tastes like? And don’t say “like chicken.”
- Can you provide any insight into the rituals involved in the morning White House prayer meetings? Is it true that you and the Cabinet form a circle around a nude and squatting Karl Rove who masturbates on an inverted pentagram while you lead the chants to Dark Lord Moloch?
- Isn’t it true that you bear responsibility for the shooting of not only many of the sheriffs but also many of the deputies… and commissioners, and produce peddlars, babysitters, street beggars, newborn babies, postal workers, taxi drivers, nursing home residents, doctors, nurses, kindergarten teachers, kindergarten students, suspension bridge engineers, stevedores, ziggurats, zebu cattle, and date palms of Iraq?
- How did you survive your fall down the shaft and escape the station before Wedge and Lando commenced their attack on the Death Star’s main reactor?
- Is it true that you believe your theory of executive power allows you to apply an electric cattle prod to the genitals of Democratic Senate staffers whenever the mood strikes?
- Sometimes, when floating around your “undisclosed location” in a suspensor suit, rappin with your demented neocon Mentats, do you ever feel the need to pull out some random servant’s heartplug? Couldn’t you just decide to have a cupcake, instead?
- Does it anger you that, despite your best efforts, Henry Kissinger has still managed to mass murder more small brown people of extranational provenance than you?
- Is that some Bell’s Palsy thing or have you always favored one side when biting the heads off kittens?
- When you’re found guilty at The Hague, will you accept your sentence stoically? Or will you go the smuggled cyanide pill, middle-finger-to-justice route? Or, true to your Texan roots, will you flee with a high-powered rifle to the nearest clock tower and force INTERPOL to take you down in final blaze of sociopathy?
“Every crackerbarrel philosopher in the US, and God knows we’ve got a trillion of them, claims that a positive attitude is the key to a long life. Yet you yourself have lived, what, 115 years? while encouraging the murder of your fellow earthlings, while living by the sword, while being a vicious, mole-like madman whose arrogance and bile is unmatched by any Republican since Nixon. Why is it then, Mr. Vice President, that your much-patched and fathomlessly evil heart still beats?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Name your 10 desert island discs.”
You could always reprise one of the hardest-hitting questions Cheney was ever asked, on national television, when the Iraq war was new and the Rovian Empire at its very pinnacle:
“Do you eat French fries or Freedom fries?”
1. So how did it feel to be the most powerful person in the formerly free world for the past 8 years? and,
2. Is it true that if sunlight touches your kind, you instantly burn to ash?
The Hague? I thought the US was too cool for international war crimes law.
What a ridiculous strawman. Cheney prefers cooking his puppies in a toaster oven, not a microwave. I guess you lefties aren’t too big on facts.
Mr. Vice-President, does it hurt to have your soul surgically removed?
Where exactly do the undead hang out together?
“Your Imperial Highness, I was just telling the rabble the oher day about how us right-wing bloggers have no influence. Indeed, we have strove mightily by being epically FAIL, grotesquely hypcritical and generally wrong on EVERYTHING WE’VE EVER DONE. And we have made best efforts in never apologizing for any of it. As you can see, we are clearly doing our best to follow in your footsteps. And, did I mention that despite overwhelmingly dominating talk radio, network news, the opinion pages of virtually all print media – the emmessemm is still liberally biased.
Oh, a question… Ummm. I guess the only question a True RedState Patriot could ask when meeting you in person. Would you like me to spit or swallow?”
I thought the US was too cool for international war crimes law.
Unfortunately, this is true. Cheney will continue to exist for many years, possibly mildly inconvenienced as regards choices of places to travel to if he has any interest in leaving the U.S., but otherwise not at all touched by consequences of his mass-murdering and pocket-stuffing spree.
Would you like a blindfold?
Is it not working?
I said —
Would you like a blindfold?
Erickson: Mr. Vice President, I’d like to begin this interview by s…
Cheney: Don’t just stand there, asshole; grab that stack of papers and head for the shredder!
“Do you like masturbating alone to torture videos from Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, or in groups?”
I’d ask if he still believes in the unitary executive and “vice-presidency as fourth branch” theories now that Obama and Biden are taking office, but what I really want to know is who’s in the man-sized safe?
“How many parts of you are bionic, besides your heart?”
“Do you have any good recipes for raw bat brains?”
“Is it safe?”
best Cheney photo caption ever.
“Do the walls of your lovely home ever drip blood?”
“Do you ever wonder if love and compassion actually exists, or are you of the ‘Diabolical Leftist Plot to Undermine Our Will’ school on this issue?”
How much of the leather upholstery in your living room is “special”?
The fact is, I would ask Mr. Cheney how successful the Iraq War has been despite haters.
“What’s your beef with Harry Potter?”
“George Bush, great president or greatest president?”
“.The fact is, I would ask Mr. Cheney how successful the Iraq War has been despite haters.” GR
Well of course the Iraq war has been an outstanding success, GR, once you get past the shoes instead of flowers protocol gaff.
When every teaching of your chosen religion informs you that you’re on the fast track to hell, the impetus to not die is pretty strong.
Q: Mr Cheney, If you could be a tree, by which method would you prefer to be clear-cut.
If Cheney ever wanted to punch George Bush in his sneering face, does that make him seem more human?
Yes, WereBear. It does. It may be the only thing that could.
But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Which of your deaths was most interesting
Have you found those WMD’s yet? It was Syria wasn’t it? Well have you tried Iceland? Mauritius?
in regard to the Lincoln quote about fooling people… fooling people all of the time…It’s quite a famous Lincoln quote…Abraham…Lincoln… tall, skinny guy, big hat, President about when you were hatched…Say, did you pick the furnishings in this room?
Werebear, Bush was the most useful tool in Cheney’s toolbox, and Cheney was at least smart enough to know to keep his tools in proper working condition. So the answer is that Cheney’s relationship to Bush makes them both seem less human.
Mr. Vice President, your penis tastes bitter. Do you think that’s my diet or yours?
“So were you born a sociopath, did you become a sociopath, or do you feel sociopatholgy was thrust upon you?”
Confused troll is confused.
Dick, when you first met Lynn, did the two of you dream a fragile dream to one day be the most evil couple to ever draw breath, or did you just know it was your destiny, beyond any doubt?
Mr. Vice President, how do you keep from laughing in the faces of the moronic Christian fundies who actually think you give a shit for their agenda? Do you wear barbed wire around your thigh or something?
I just ran across this on the <html=”http://j-walkblog.com/”J-walk Blog:
That’s what I love about S,N!–commenters her feel free to cheerfully ignore each and every one of these sensible, civilized rules for polite online discourse.
Keep up the bad work!
“That’s what I love about S,N!–commenters her feel free to cheerfully ignore each and every one of these sensible, civilized rules for polite online discourse.”
Even though we ARE totally evil, most of what goes on here is just good-natured ribbing.
Our snark obeys no rules.
Steerpike, you’re wrong on one count: I’ve never seen a whiner on S,N! Excepting G-Rup of course.
Is this a free-snarket economy blog?
Well, I tried. Ouch.
Do you think anyone gives a shit about the asslickers from RedSuck interviewing you?
The whining trolls–G-Rup, Troofie, Scottish-commander-whatever–is probably the best feature of this blog! You’ve got to admire their pluck in continuing to haunt this page, despite the cheerfully vicious smacking-down they inevitably receive–or maybe it’s becuase of it.
Anyway, back On Topic: My suggested question for Darth Cheney:
Why so serious?
Haddock? Sounds fishy to me…
That’s because we are stunned that you don’t get it.
I would look into humor implants.
Hey Dick, are you capable of feeling shame at all?
Go the fuck away coward.
Perhaps, like Alexander the Great, he will weep on his deathbed, thinking of all the people he didn’t get around to killing.
“Is it true that you believe your theory of executive power allows you to apply an electric cattle prod to the genitals of Democratic Senate staffers whenever the mood strikes?”
Oh that answer is easy, they apply them themselves.
So many worthless traitors, so little time
I wroted the tags myself:)
EOC:
Whine: UR doin it right
Please don’t go: I love this game!
Needless to say, hilarity ensues.
mr. vice-president:
as you survey the wreckage of the world you have left behind, the gigantic pile of bodies, the lost wealth, the slope towards total environmental degradation, do you have a hategasm? what comes out of you at such a moment? is it a liquid or a solid? which orifice does it emanate from?
Bush was the most useful tool in Cheney’s toolbox, and Cheney was at least smart enough to know to keep his tools in proper working condition.
Bingo. I saw Bush has already unloaded the Lazy Photo-Op Ranch. That struck me as a bit hasty, but I guess there’s no further political use for it. I’m curious to see if Cheney folds Bush up like a ventriloquist’s dummy and packs him in a big suitcase on Jan. 21.
Oh, and looks like MorphTroll the Tiresome is back again. Would some SadlyMod please shoo it?
Mr. Vice-President:
Does the bloodlust ever get so strong that you can’t help convulsing?
Has this ever happened to you in public, or was it just Rumsfeld that got that?
Hey Dick, are you Republicans the least be concerned by the rampant mental illness raging through your party?
Do you consider it a ‘feature’?
Please, please, please, let’s talk about what I wanna talk about! Please? Why won’t anyone take me seriously? You’re all a bunch of pooty-heads who won’t respond to my whiny demand that you talk about what I wanna talk about! Which makes you all a bunch of not-funny pooty-heads! Which means I win times a million! So there!
How was that?
Get bent, Trooth.
BushandDick, for a couple of men who claim they don’t care what anyone thinks about them or their actions are engaging in a significant campaign to influence what people think about them and their actions.
Phony balony pricks.
-GSD
Actually, I noted Cheney warning his fellow Republicans about revisiting their status as “the party of Hoover” if they continued to obstruct vital governmental efforts to get the economy back on track.
Of course, I did not think he was motivated by any humanitarian concerns. Rather, practical ones.
Any voters still barely living and able to find a target responsible might obstruct their further efforts in this area.
Any self-respecting parasite knows you can’t kill the victim, or you have to go find a new one.
Meanwhile, let’s just wait here and see if our experts on ethnicity, race, and inequality comment on the case I referenced.
I’m not quite certain why you’re so obsessed with eliciting commentary on it, but I’ll play. It appears that a child was tragically killed in what police are calling “a break-in gone wrong”. The perpetrator is believed to be a young black male, which is at least somewhat helpful in narrowing down the possible suspects.
Was there anything else you needed?
No young Steerpike. It is the very serious Troother there who demands that you argue in Troothland by very serious troothland rules (you know, up is down etc).
and when you can’t defeat his impeccable logic (a pig is a marmoset and the linoleum goes inwardly) then you are loosers. And you’r cats
Irony is making a racist comment about someone possibly African-American killing one person, on a thread about a wealthy white man who is responsible for killing hundreds of thousands of people.
Wingnuts don’t get irony. They just illustrate it for the rest of us.
are you Republicans the least be concerned by the rampant mental illness raging through your party?
It is a pattern. Nixon: paranoid. Reagan: non compos mentis from 1983 or so to the end of his reign. G.W. Bush: possibly brain-damaged from rampant drug abuse, possibly just poorly raised and not especially bright.
Which leaves, among Republican presidents holding office in my Gen-X lifetime, just GHW Bush as being apparently sane – if annoying – by the time he left office.
WAAAH!
Well, it must be difficult to balance mental health with the requirements of wingnut thought.
Which must be why they don’t bother.
??????? ?? ??? ????!!
If you really wanted to shoot someone in the face, why didn’t you go to Vietnam?
Do you believe that it should be 100 dead brown people or 1,000 dead brown people for every white one?
Oh yes – I see the Craven Cavin’ 110th Congress is now over and the 111th started yesterday. I imagine in a few weeks the critters will find their spines and Pelosi will put impeachment back on the table – because if the last eight years have taught us anything…
…they haven’t taught us anything, have they?
This thread makes me sad that I missed the Dennis Prager thread.
BTW, happy new year, Sadlies!
Mr, Cheny, sir…I mean, Grandest, most exalted and holy Lord Cheny, master of heaven and hell, ruler of the universe, paragon of greatness, whose fragrant feces we are unworthy to sniff…
Damn! Now I forgot what I was going to ask…
URGENT: We have a PRIORITY ONE situation in which the SadlyNo! skills at banner / patch upgrades must be applied!!! URGENT!!!:
It is utterly shameful how unexciting the newly unveiled logo / patch / crest is for these right wing internet brave warriors. We owe our
brothers-in-armsmonkeys-with-cheetos no less.I envision a keyboard rampant on a field of Cheetos.
With cupped hands to imply the typing skills and self-abuse that symbolizes their devotion to wankery.
Oh lord, I’m virtually speechless with joy at teh Strikeforce badge. Is there a decoder ring yet?
Erik is a genyoos
Is there a decoder ring envisaged?
Erik is a gennyous
And what better way to motivate the “troops” for activism than by inventing your own unit crest which, of course, replicates those worn by actual combatants in real wars?
Snk!
BWAAAAHAAHAAAHAAHAAAA!
This is going to be the biggest Rightie grassroots movement since #dontgo!
Hmm, we’ll need to get some talented artists on this one. How does one symbolically represent a flaccid penis and a tiny mind consumed with fear and inferiority?
How does one symbolically represent a flaccid penis and a tiny mind consumed with fear and inferiority?
Like this?
“Forbidden–You don’t have permission to access /design/spade-and-skull-banner.png on this server.”
Wow, it’s power must indeed be terrible to behold. Thank God my mortal eyes have been spared.
Wow, it’s power must indeed be terrible to behold.
Sorry – it worked for me. It’s the Ace of Spades banner, and it is pretty terrible.
Oh fuck. “Its power”. I never make the it’s/its mistake.
My first reaction was to immerse something in Jello.
http://www.jellostapler.com/
But then, that’s always my first reaction.
I applaud the “Red State Strike Force” and their willingness to cease their no doubt valuable work until all their demands are met.
How about this?
No, Steerpike, that won’t work, as I am truly impressed by that fake dude.
My first reaction was to immerse something in Jello.
Inspired artist is inspired.
How does one symbolically represent a flaccid penis and a tiny mind consumed with fear and inferiority?
http://www.gop.com/
Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good?
Will it buy you forgiveness?
Do you think that it could?
Okay, so that’s three.
Owlbear1 wins so far.
That’s poetry, MzNicky.
owlbear, I think you’re on to something there.
Just take the usual GOP elephant logo, but make the trunk of the elephant hang flaccidly and uselessly. Completely captures both the potency and general dejection of today’s GOP.
make the trunk of the elephant hang flaccidly and uselessly
Or how about a really teeny tiny, shrivelled little trunk?
WereBear: Bob Dylan– “Masters of War.” Here’s my favorite part, which I dedicate to Mr. Cheney:
And I hope that you die
And your death will come soon
I’ll follow your casket
On a pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand over your grave til I’m sure that you’re dead.
It awes me (in a sickening, sinking way) how much more appropriate the song is for the crimes of Shrub/Cheney than it was for the Cold War or Vietnam.
Or how about a really teeny tiny, shrivelled little trunk?
Hey, why not both?
Oh, fer fucks sake.
It’s just a logo. An image to organize around. Who gives a fuck, now, honestly?
I wore one of these.
I still have one of these.
Now which one do you think has any real importance?
And which one can they NEVER have?
mikey
A patch that says RS (Really Shitty?) & has the NATO star (in red) on it isn’t much.
Maybe the elephant rampant on a field of nothing that they came up w/ for the GOP convention would be a good start for a new shoulder patch for our mentally-challenged friends. Or should this involve “WOLVERINES!!!”?
Gawd, I just love helping those less fortunate than I. It makes me feel even better about myself.
Ah well, no wonder. It’s why he took the name Dylan, after all.
I think that’s why Cheney’s crimes are so opaque to most people. Bloodlust, however horrible, is a perverted expression of some kind of life-force.
Murdering people for money is different. Cold, and indifferent.
Which is why it is first degree murder, and not second.
Hey, what happened to EOC/Troothie/Whoever? Did he get tired of haranguing us for refusing to allow him to hijack the thread? I wish sh/she/it would come back and play some more. Trolls like that are the salsa on my scrambled eggs!
Dude? Are you trying to confess to something?
…refusing to allow him to hijack the thread?
What now?
You honestly see it that way? ‘Cause that’s just crazy.
A whole bunch of you came RUNNING to volunteer to help him hijack the thread. Unless I missed something, NOTHING in that thread concerned arguing with nazis. YOU turned it into something stupid, and boring. Arguing with nazis. Really? What, you think somebody might decide the fucking nazis were RIGHT if you don’t come help us out by pointing out they’re bad people?
Here’s an idea. Why don’t you start a blog about how nazis are bad. And if I ever start having any doubts, I’ll come over and read it so as to be reminded.
Prevented him from hijacking a thread? Really.
Christ…
mikey
WereBear purrs
Murdering people for money is different. Cold, and indifferent.
I agree: http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1850536
You agree?
Then why do you keep bringing it up, you pathetic retard, when you’ve just acknowledged that you’re linking to a story about a crime that was committed for monetary gain, not because of racial bias?
You’re so fucking stupid that you don’t even realize when you’re refuting your own retarded arguments.
Here’s something I didn’t know about Dick, from the Crummy Broadcasting System.
Bet that’s an interesting story. Yale to the U. of Wyo. Where he got his master’s in PS. A master’s. Whoooo!!!
If you were sleeping, or wasting your time sucking up to a non-existent gawd while showing off your new clothes for all the other Philistines in the church, you could watch Cheney field softballs (we’re sure, not that we’ve seen it) on Fuck The Nation.
Those w/ strong stomachs or no sense of decency are invited to watch for good stuff to share.
Teh Eevil of Troofiness said:
I agree: http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1850536
Oh my God! You are so right. That is truly tragic. Tim Burton’s Commissioner Gordon died? I didn’t even know he was sick.
Thank you, THANK YOU Troofie, for bringing that important story to my.attention!
Oh, and by the way…
Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.
My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.
Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.
As for a question for Der Dickinator, howzabout…
My boy and I were wondering what it’s like for you to have no soul. And, also, what do you use to fill up your body where the soul would be? Now, is that human excrement, or dog excrement?
mikey:
Is shitstain comparing you to Mike Nelson of Sea Hunt? Or did we already discuss?
Guy breaks into house, kills someone. Horrible. But no one (except the killer) now knows what happened, or why. No excuse whatsoever, but who knows what caused what?
Guy dragged to death behind pick-up truck (It’s happened twice that we’re aware of) in a 21st century lynching, simply on the basis that he’s non-white. (Real racism, not phony, “Oh, a white guy didn’t get a job!!” racism accusations.) Where’s the outrage, wiper of asses?
Better rules for commentariat:
Troofie never responds to me since that time I owned his ass on the particulars of why the GOP utopian ideal where one guy owns everything and has all the money never works very well in the real world.
I hope every Sadly No thread gets its own personal, unique troll. It’s like a regular tard-smorgasbord around here lately!
What I find especially odd about his infatuation with that news story is his seeming belief that pretty young white girls being murdered/disappearing is somehow not given sufficient attention by the news media.
Or maybe he just thinks there’s not enough coverage of pretty 12-year-old girls.
Wise words, mate.
What do you want to talk about, darling?
Why don’t we start with your acknowledgement, above, wherein you admit that you continue to flog a link to a crime in which race is not presumed (by both the investigators and you yourself, as you noted) or believed to have played any part – as “supporting evidence” for your pitiful ongoing campaign to try to equivocate any and all crimes committed by persons with a darker skin tone with “hate crimes” committed on the basis of racial bias?
Let’s start there, you pathetic retard.
Ah-ah-ah-ah! No good trying to hijack the thread, EOC, or whoever you are! Per Mikey, we must all remain Strictly On Topic! So please, troll-breath, do provide us with appropriate questions for the exalted Veep. Surely there must be something you would ask him if you could?
Yeah, ’cause I just can’t imagine a more interesting topic of discussion…
mikey
Fixed.
Gee, so dragging someone behind a truck doesn’t count?
Hmm… I’m thinking of candidates.
Now that it’s okay, and all.
And… I bring it back On Topic!
Evil Cheney, how do you know which assaults are “racially motivated?” If a guy’s trying to break into a house in the middle of the day & encounters someone inside (which he didn’t expect, that’s why he’s burglarizing during the day) that’s not much of an indication that this was “racially motivated.”
The list of hate crimes against people w/ a more recent African heritage than yours, buddy boy, is infinitely longer than your imaginary list of evils done to white people by “racist” non-Anglos.
killfiled
The Vice President’s office has invited me up to D.C. this week to sit down
withunder Vice President Cheney‘s desk for an “exit interview”Fizzed it.
And: A talking or inviting office? I do declare. When I was writing news, we were told that buildings (“The White House said today…”) never speak, & to stop pretending they do.
Why is it that so much good stuff fades, but these racialists never stop, & perpetuate their shit unto the nth generation?
Yours, Grampaw B., Aging Wretch
“Drag your little friend off, & then stay the fuck off that lawn from now on!!”
I used to wonder what it meant to be a “troll.” I guess it’s someone with a single fixed idea that he drags into every conversation.
It can’t be much fun to have just that one idea else sloshing around in the old noggin. I almost feel sorry for him.
not.
Oops. Cross out “else.”
However, if a black person assaults a white person (and the crime statistics in America are startling on this point – you will be amazed if you don’t know them)
They’re not difficult to find. From the DOJ:
http://www.ojp.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm
Per empirical evidence, interracial murders are very much the exception, not the rule. Further:
While there is an obvious discrepancy between victims and offenders, it hardly qualifies as “amazing” or “startling”. In fact, it borders on being statistically insignificant.
Having viewed the actual evidence, I have to say that you’ve failed to startle or amaze me.
“Mr. Cheney, do you wonder where you’ll be able to hide? You can’t leave the country, and your countrymen will be putting you on trial in just a few years. Where will you hide?”
I see whining about wanting to change the subject does eventually win.
Sweetheart, all I’m doing – ruthlessly and persistently – is exposing liberal hypocrisy. Namely this: that if a crime is committed by a white person against a black, that the assumption is that a hate crime is committed, the book should be thrown at the perpetrator, the crime is publicized coast to coast as evidence of racism in America.
Bullshit.
The hate crimes statutes are very clear – there is not a rash of innocent white people being persecuted for “hate crimes” against minorities. I invite you to cite cases.
However, if a black person assaults a white person (and the crime statistics in America are startling on this point – you will be amazed if you don’t know them) – then everyone looks for a reason other than race. If you look at it with an open mind, it is astonishing. And then of course the story itself is buried.
While you’re at it, why not give us a list of all the white people who were lynched by black mobs because they were white? I promise, none of us will “look for a reason other than race” to explain the shocking numbers of innocent whites lynched by blacks.
Good luck with that, shitstain.
“Mr. Cheney, if the best revenge is ‘living well’, who do you feel the most impetus to avenge yourself upon?”
I suspect the Slobbering of Cheney disappeared for a while because he had to go off and masturbate angrily to pictures of Oprah Winfrey. “All your fault! All your fault!” he screamed as he finished.
“Slobber?” calls Mom from the stairs. “Do you have the TV on?”
“N-No, I don’t! Don’t come down!”
“Okay, dear, but I think your father should have a talk with you about the way you masturbate yourself bloody every day. I don’t think it’s healthy.”
Mr. Cheney,
Do you plan to start a new career as a blog troll? What will you call yourself? Especially now that The Evil of Cheney has already been taken?
It can’t be much fun to have just that one idea else sloshing around in the old noggin. I almost feel sorry for him.
Dr. Johnson said it best: “That fellow seems to me to possss but one idea, and that is a wrong one.”
Hey Dick, defining moment of your term in office?
“possEss”, not “possss”.
Hey Truth, your ideas are interesting and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter, but you’re forgetting who’s really at the heart of these efforts to keep the White Man down – TEH JOOOOOOOOOZ!!! There’s a fella two threads back who knows the score; you two really should get together for chips ‘n’ dips.
Mister Cheney receives word of his selection as vice president.
(but save “possssss” for the appropriate moment!)
See, shrieking “racism” every time a black person doesn’t take off his cap & bow his head in the presence of a white person is not going to convince people that racism is something that black people invented & brought to this country w/ them.
In words you may be able to understand, then: Many more black people have been killed, maimed, etc., by white people, on the basis of mere racial status; or such horrific crimes against the white “race” as looking for too long at a “white” woman, than “white” people have ever been murdered or harmed by non-white people “looking to get whitey,” or whatever masochistic homoerotic fantasy goes through your mind.
Pop psychological diagnosis of our brave friend: Looking for rough trade of a more recent African persuasion to dominate him, but, scared of advertising on the Interwebbing, hoping someone will track him down & give him what for for free.
Or: Parody troll, who doesn’t get that a parody is supposed to make the subject look ridiculously laughable (& the audience laugh) rather than merely irk the rational.
Blacks, on the other hand, choose[sic] white victims …
..or perhaps you mean (poor) criminals committing property crimes “choose” victims with property.
Texan roots???
Mister Cheney receives word of his selection as vice president.
Actually I think it was more like this: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=E2c32SvJf54
Also, Troofie should continue to scream this stuff at the top of his lungs. The more Troofie and his fellow Republicans scream discredited racist shit, the farther and farther they fall from power.
Mmmmm, someone who is proud to have the handle “The Evil of Cheney” might not realize the bar is being set rather high.
While Cheney hasn’t been responsible for the millions of their own citizens dead as, say, a Stalin or a Hitler or a Mao, he’s at least a second-tier tyrant.
While making one’s own family, co-workers, and few friends miserable is very low rent tyranny, the kind any half-wit asshole with a mean streak can do.
And bothering fun-loving strangers on blogs… geez, that’s not even tyranny.
That’s just annoying.
Is being annoying really some people’s life goal? They can’t impact the world any other way?
Now that… that’s pathetic.
Here are some real stats:
….blah, blah, blah [uncited]
Sources include…
…ah, the pretense of scholarship – so “charming” when attempted by the ignorant.
Mr. Cheney,
Have you ever been bitten by Barney?
Have you ever bitten Barney?
PS It will help your argument if you, ya know, actually try to refute my argument. The facts I presented don’t seem to be disputed by anybody. Hmmm…..
You don’t have a fucking argument, you moron, other than this: when blacks commit crimes of any type in which whites are the victims, it’s a racially motivated crime.
There, does that help? We all know you won’t state it this straightforwardly yourself, because doing so makes you look like the massive fucking retarded tool that you are, but that’s your argument. Throwing out a few examples in which a kid got beaten up because some black kids thought he “looked funny” doesn’t make your central point any less retarded, either, dumbfuck.
Blacks, on the other hand, choose[sic] white victims …
I don’t suppose the fact that there’s a lot more white people in the US has anything to do with that?
Poor Troof.
No one wants to violate his nether rose in the tenderly brutal way he so desperately pleads for.
Even offering to open the way via a speculum borrowed from “Dumpster” Meyer (did you remember to wash it first?) tempts no one.
Hooray! Troofie just proved with scientific method and stuff that white-on-black racism ended in the year 1501, so racism is dead. EVERYBODY PARTY!
That is after the Great Liberal Freakout…
cherry pick the DOJ statistics
My bad, I misread your obsessions. I should have known they centered around sex crimes (the thing with the 12-year-old girl should’ve tipped me off).
http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/statistics.html
So again, per the DOJ, most rapes are same-race. And of course, none of this is taking into account that rape is a very underreported crime, so precise statistics (as opposed to homicide) are impossible to come by.
I’m surprised nobody mentioned the best part of that Redstate Army post.
Scooping the Lightning Bolt video out of the archives was brilliant.
If you look closely, you can see Toofie there at the end, clapping.
Smart conservatives (few though they may be) have by now figured out that being racist motherfuckers only attracts other racist motherfuckers, which makes it tough for a party to succeed in an increasingly tolerant society. Snuggling up to the Klan scares off most voters, because most voters hate the Klan and other racist organizations.
But most Republicans don’t seem to realize this. And it doesn’t matter how often or how clearly you spell it out for them, they still think that being screaming racist motherfuckers is a guaranteed key to electoral success.
…now that was a weak attempt to refute my argument. It barely qualifies as hand waving
refute your what??? (…hand was moving – only one finger involved in the “wave”)
Hell, I’ll say it is statistically meaningless.
It’s well known that Anglos & Hispanic people, the paragons of virtue & so on, commit more serial murders than the African-descended population. That more than accounts for the 52 – 46 discrepancy in offenders. (Volume, volume, volume!) As far as victims, where are Hispanics? Under “White?”
At least “Other” is consistent. Thank you, “Other!”
The facts I presented don’t seem to be disputed by anybody. Hmmm…..
I’m disappointed you’re surrendering so easily. I happen to enjoy Googling stuff and finding facts and statistics and scholarly research and stuff, and I was starting to really get into this. I actually learned a lot about violent crime that I didn’t know before, and I knocked down a couple of your shibboleths in the process. And you want to just pretend it never happened? Sheesh.
commit more serial murders than the African-descended population
Chris Rock had a great routine about this. The more deviant and bizarre the offense, the more likely it was a white person.
OK, I really have learned something on this awesome website.
It has been proven to my satisfaction that:
1 The germans were the victims and the jews were the perpetrators of the holocaust.
2. Whites are victims of racism much more than blacks.
3. teh Flood wiped out the dinosaurs. (I know, it hasn’t shown up on sadly, no, but I’m sure it is just a matter of time.)
Let us take up a fund to knock Eric out, stuff him in a closet and disguise HTML to take his place at the interview. Questions must be asked, gnarly teeth must be measured, puppies must be rescued.
WB, you betcha!! Seriously, run “irritate libs” or “annoy liberals” or any similar variation through your preferred search engine & you’ll see quite a load of deliberate, admittedly only for its own sake annoyance, spewed from entities that receive pay, fame & the like for their endeavors, not just pipsqueaks like we have here.
Their entire “principled” movement will soon be, “If it bugs ‘libs,’ it’s good!”
He and Bush have managed to keep terrorist attacks from our shores since the horrors of 9/11.
Well, except for the anthrax attacks and copycats. But those were mostly committed by Republicans, so they don’t count, right?
And of course, it won’t be long before the GOP’s biggest supporters start stockpiling fertilizer again. Hope you haven’t maxed out your credit card on those big purchases yet, Troofie…
Their entire “principled” movement will soon be, “If it bugs ‘libs,’ it’s good!”
That’s at least part of why their movement is failing. It keeps the ideologues happy, but it’s hard to convince Mom and Pop Voter that they should return you to power when they only thing you’ve managed to produce after eight years in power is “An American Carol.”
Are you liberals hypocrites or just ignorant?
…hmm. Well, on the plus side, I have stopped beating my wife.
♫A hungry man is an angry man…♫
If you think this is an increasingly tolerant society …, it’s only because you think you are in the ascendancy
Yes, Bucky, one day all this increasing tolerance will end!! Mark my words.
Yes, it’s about time wingnuts woke up to the fact that most people prefer being happy to being screaming batshit angry.
But I guess one goes with the internal mental state you have, not the one you wish you had…
Soon???
How do you think they got the rubes to cut off their own noses twice in a row to get Bush within fudging distance?
Thankfully, it seems that it now takes a bit more than “it’ll piss off the hippies” to get folks to neck-up to the trough and slit their throats.
While we wait for “Me” to enjoy that, lets talk about the fact that the only defense liberals have is to shriek “racism” at anyone who politely points out the facts. If you think this is an increasingly tolerant society (see Prop 8), it’s only because you think you are in the ascendancy.
Excuse me, shitstain? I haven’t seen anyone here call you a racist. Maybe that’s because you haven’t really pointed out any real facts, just statistics that really don’t prove your underlying premise that all crimes committed by blacks against whites are motivated by racial animus. Or maybe it’s because you’re primarily a dumbfuck motard, and we’d prefer to point out that instead.
If you think this is an increasingly tolerant society (see Prop 8), it’s only because you think you are in the ascendancy.
Spoken like a guy whose party just got its clock cleaned by the brown fellow.
I haven’t seen anyone here call you a racist.
It’s not so much that he’s a racist. More that he’s dumb enough to think that being a racist is going to help the Republicans get the White House back.
Hold on to that dream, Troofie! Sing it from the rooftops!
Is being annoying really some people’s life goal? They can’t impact the world any other way?
I think it may still think McCain’s giving away “points” for being a dick online. For all I know, the McCain website may never have stopped promising them.
anyone who politely points out the facts.
I’m still waiting for you to do that. I’m also waiting for proof of your central thesis, which seems to be that blacks are somehow committing loads of unindicted hate crimes. Just to help you out with the definition of hate crime:
Here’s what the FBI has to say about it:
http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/hc2007/incidents.htm
Oh, and that Channon Christian case you keep gnawing at? Yep, sex crime involving pretty young white girl. I knew it before I looked it up. Of course, this has been at the root of race-fear since the dawn of time. Cheney, perhaps you need to deal with this particular personal demon before we go any further.
Another perfectly good thread ruined by troll-feeding. What is with you guys? Here we are offered a great opportunity for some classic S,N! repertoire-style performance art/free-form poetry. I don’t understand this need to engage with these individuals. Killfile does nothing once the hijacking has occurred. What a loss.
You mean, we’re just going to leave RedState with their sad little StrikeFORCE ™ patch?
Oh, we can still come up with questions to ask Cheney.
“When the tumbrill comes for you, what signal do you want the driver to toot on the horn? Some complicated Marx Brother’s thing, or do you just want to go with the classic shave-and-a-haircut riff?”
and the bigots wonder why everybody tells them to go fuck themselves…
This is evidence in favor of my point, not against it.
..the confidence of the cretin.
This is evidence in favor of my point, not against it.
If your, um, “point” was that black-on-white hate crime goes unreported, I’m afraid you’ve just refuted yourself. Good going. Again.
And seriously, the whole miscegenation thing–is that really what this is all about? I mean, it’s not like I was ready to impute any deep or sophisticated motives to your ramblings, but it’s somehow disappointing to find that it once again comes down to sexual insecurity. And to think we were just talking about flaccid dicks right before you came along.
Mr. Cheney, when you walk into the room and it grows a little darker and a little colder while a little bit of hope dies in everyone, is your first instinct to chuckle mercilessly under your breath or is it more of a “this thirst for human souls cannot be quenched no matter how hard I try” sorta thing?
Do you really want us to keep quoting The Truth’s Awsum Elekchun Predicticatin’? Look in a mirror, shitweasel.
But hey, you’ve got us cornered. Those blacks…just can’t keep ’em in jail long enough. What a shame. See, I thought that getting your Bob Owens-loving ass (note where The Turd’s news comes from) beaten over and over by That One would have you wise the fuck up to just how marginalized your laughable worldview is…but no. Sadly, amazingly, no. You apparently think that dancing around, grabbing your Cheeto-stained dick and squealing Black People! Black People! Black People! is a winner for 2012. Then you’ll nominate Super Sarah or Joe the Asshole or a half-eaten bag of Funyuns and then BOOM! Instant Washington domination, once again.
Keep thinking that, Truth. Please, don’t ever stop.
Hey Dick, given your recent admission of war crimes, what is your response to people who call for your rendition to The Hague?
“Whites,” the general term, aren’t racist.
You, a pathetic, lonely, drooling white, are racist.
HTH.
I have something to say about that ridiculous STIKE FORCE badge.
WTF? Strike what? A match? An airline? A pose?
Strike force, huh?
Does anyone else think of a tiny band of 8-year-olds, carrying sticks and wearing old army helmets, marching into the woods to build a fort out of logs and cow patties?
Oops, again. STRIKE. My Rs are slipping today.
Erik enters the Naval Observatory wearing his Jimmy Olsen hat with a “Press” card in the hat band. He knocks on the door labeled “King Dick” and thinks that the barked noise inside means that he is to enter.
“Hello, O Mighty One” he manages to gasp after he has been titillatingly strip searched.
Cheney slams down the Vodka bottle he has nearly drained “Why you’re a purty little thang” he purrs…
Continue if youse want to
Hey Dick, Butt plug or enema?
He and Bush have managed to keep terrorist attacks from our shores since the horrors of 9/11.
To put it another way, Bush pretty much has had a monopoly on terrorizing the United States since 2000. And bin Laden is still alive because, how did Bush put it in 2003? “He’s no longer a concern.”
Hey, Dick. These liberals are being mean to me! Waaaah! Waaaaah! Hold my hand, tell me it’s gonna be all right! I’m scared of the Blacks!
He got “shibboleth” from me, you know. He still doesn’t know what it means, but an idiot with a rich vocabulary is generally much more fun.
And I should add that it’s not my intention to anger other regulars here by engaging him. I must admit somewhat shamefacedly that I only do it because he’s easy prey.
He and Bush have managed to keep terrorist attacks from our shores since the horrors of And I should add that it’s not my intention to anger other regulars here by engaging him. I must admit somewhat shamefacedly that I only do it because he’s easy pre
Sadly, I think more of an assembly of developmentally juvenile-to-adolescent adults in paint-ball gear, each w/ a “Red State” shoulder patch, marching into the woods to throw cow patties at each other.
Maybe it’s some kind of voluntary Pinkerton deal. They’ll attack striking union members. (Like to see that.)
Getting us back on track:
Mr. Vice President, did you ever really expect to get away with this much for this long? Did you know Rep. Pelosi was a paper tiger? How easy is it to commit crimes by simply ignoring the law, knowing that your opponents lack guts? Since Paraguay and Switzerland are in different hemispheres, how will you prevent your Halliburton payments from getting interrupted by Interpol during wire transfers? If you wipe your ass with our Constitution, Bill of Rights, Geneva Convention every day for eight years, what kind of anal scarring do you get? Are you done kicking that puppy? Into which man-sized safe will you stuff W. after noon on January 20th?
Hey Dick, can you confirm or deny that you have dispersed thousands of cannisters filled with deadly nerve agents, timed to detonate when your heart stops?
Not seeing a choice there. Are you really asking: “Dam or flow?’
Hey Dick, does Rush Limbaugh stink as much as it appears?
heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Hey Dick, is Hannity a moaner or does he just grunt quietly?
If blacks commit vastly more crimes against whites than vice versa – and they do – then what conclusion can you draw from the fact that more hate crimes are ascribed to whites than blacks?
..whites are much more proficient racists.
“At your dinner parties, Mr. Cheney, do you serve your minions flies, like Renfield, or do you step up to the spider variety platter?”
what conclusion can you draw from the fact that more hate crimes are ascribed to whites than blacks?
But they’re not. We just established, utilizing the same source material, that reported hate crimes are basically demographically proportionate. Unless by “ascribed” you actually mean media exposure, in which case I would refer you back to your pet obsession, which is sex crimes against pretty white girls. And as a Fox News viewer, you know perfectly well that’s what gets all the airtime.
In deference to the other regulars, I will not engage you further. You have been disappointingly undisciplined in staying on message, your “arguments” are shallow and ill-sourced, and your psychology is a pedestrian and thoroughly uninteresting mishmash of sexually based race-fears. How common. If you really want to distinguish yourself, you’ll have to come up with a more inspiring disorder, not the same shit that’s plagued insecure males since the fucking Bronze Age.
Truth-
I know you’ve long ignored me because, well, I don’t doodle your noodle the way DrDick does. But you should really note the following:
My wife and I spent an afternoon at her folks on Christmas Day. Just an afternoon. One of her siblings and his family came too. We all were quick to leave, and it was pretty sure we (including the freaking grandchildren) were just going through the motions. No one went to see her folks any more during the break. Her sister and family didn’t even show.
Why? Because these two are racists. Oh, no, they don’t know it- they think as long as you aren’t burning crosses or donning hoods, you’re fine. But no, they’re racist…just like you. Same shit. Every conversation, every afternoon spent over there, is filled with a feedback loop of black people are doing this, black people are ruining that. It encompasses their entire worldview much as it does yours. And it makes them fucking miserable to be around. It’s never How was your day?. It’s always You wouldn’t believe how bad it is at my work, with the BROS hanging out there. It’s never Hey, you see that show last night?. It’s always I’m sick of those black shows all over the place. Who wants to engage that? Who wants to listen to that?
And so no one visits them. They get charity visits on the holidays by some of us, but that’s it. And so not only are they racist, they’re depressed and hate each other because they just can’t figure it out. And that’s how they’ll end their days unless they get the fuck over it.
You want to end up like that? You want your family and friends to shun you? You want to be known as not The Truth, but That Racist We Just Kinda Avoid? You want any characterization of you to begin with a baffling distrust/hatred of a certain ethnic group?
I mean, if you’re cool with that, go nuts. Your buddy Bob seems OK with it. But I’m warning you…when the most you get at Christmastime out of the ones you love is a few minutes because they find you absolutely intolerable, you’re really going to wish you weren’t such a ginormous asshole.
Also: Defending Cheney? Really, dude?
And another also: I’m sick of responding to you. You really have been shitting out the same three tired arguments over and over since Obama got elected. You just aren’t worth it anymore. So yeah, I’ll tag along with Me and say…sorry, Truthy, this is the last you’ll hear from my end.
Actually, I think that Troofie’s “thesis” is that there is a conspiracy to suppress the truth about black on white violence. If he can just the get the truth out and convince a few libs to join him in the fight against the slobbering hords of blacks looking for fresh young white children to savage!
That you can’t tell the difference between “crimes” & “hate crimes.”
I am not going to engage him directly, but I have to say that NOTHING ANYONE SAYS IS GOING TO CHANGE HIS MIND.
He will keep coming with the same old tired links and “facts” and “arguments” and you will refute them TO YOUR SATISFACTION BUT NEVER TO HIS.
Give it up.
DN, you’re far more charitable than I, in that you seem to hold out hope for those of his ilk. Maybe you watched “A Christmas Carol” recently, and the good feelings still linger. As for me, I just find predictability tiresome and irritating. I mean really–fear of black dick?? That’s it?
Well, to be fair, we have to give the Republicans due credit for all their contributions towards getting an African-American man elected President of the United States, and a hat tip towards how far a Caucasian-American woman got with that same goal.
Hey, ya’ll, go nuts. With you wingnuts fighting for illiteracy, bigotry, stupidity, religious intolerance, and general assholery, I have hope for the future.
Now, about that STRIKE FORCE. Does anyone know exactly what or how they are planning to strike? What does that even mean?
Should we be stockpiling anti-strike snark, just in case they’re coming for us?
I’m satisfied now. I just don’t have questions for Wad Cheney, I’m totally out of puns & cat stories (Yes, I looked under the bed; neither cats, puns nor stories about punning cats.) & output around here has been awfully low lately, hosts & staggering casual drop-ins alike.
It is good to read Mencken, & I’ll suck up to Clif once more for his yeoman service over the enforced consumption & family time period, but the holidays are completely over at 0800 tomorrow!! (Eastern Time, not that weird Nazi time your hamsters run on.) Be ready!
And, I have other, important things to do, so, naturally, I’m wasting time here!
Just tell me you’re the one who bitch-slapped Ann Coulter and broke her jaw, and all is forgiven.
Well, that, at least, is forgiven.
Now, about that STRIKE FORCE. Does anyone know exactly what or how they are planning to strike?
I assume it refers to their debate technique: swing and a miss.
I’m pretty sure that “Other” group is Ben Linus. He’s a terrible recidivist, but hey, he’s just one guy.
Does anyone know exactly what or how they are planning to strike?
I think we can at least say it’s sure to be a sit-down strike… harder to say would be, if they stop working will anyone notice?
You have other things to do?
Sheesh. I have cats, which is apparently wingnut shorter for “having no life.”
They might have a point. Blowup dolls are even lower maintenance, and rarely throw up on the carpet.
It’s not that Troofie is a racist. It’s just that when a black man walks past him on the street, he shits his pants.
As for my question for Dick Cheney:
“So, how’d that ‘madman theory’ work out for you this time, smartass?”
The fact is, liberals are the real racists, they assume black people all need help and welfare and quotas and need to be handed jobs to up their self esteeem, when they are the ones killing whites, and Obama is for this! You make me sick.
And it’s doing real damage to my self-esteem, which you don’t even care about! What about me? When will Gary Ruppert get his chance? But you, you liberals just don’t care, just like father! He said I’d amount to nothing, and without his firm hand upon the rudder of my journey through life, I was left defenseless, left to look for father-figures amongst the damned right-wing lot of the Republican party. Oh, they said they were the “Daddy” party, but they abandoned me and mother just like father did!
Well, you won’t have Gary Ruppert to kick around anymore!
Not this version, at least.
Heartland out.
Two words.
Ed Gein.
From a small town, midwestern, farm background, with a religious mother.
Salt of the gol-darned earth.
Is this thing on *tap* *tap*
You know, I could very easily “repair” your statement in a way quite embarrassing to you. But I won’t, as that is just the sort of person I am.
ObDickCheney: He and Bush have managed to keep terrorist attacks from our shores since the horrors of 9/11. I’d ask him how proud he feels about that.
That’s funny. Charlie Daniels said it was god that kept the terrorists away. But in both cases you are wrong because since 9/11 we have had anthrax in the mail and abortion clinic bombings. But anyway, if Bush/Cheney do get credit for everything after 9/11 does that mean they get blamed for 9/11?
For some reason I’m prompted to say that I’m really, really glad right now that Sarah Palin isn’t preparing to be sworn in as our new Vice President.
I don’t want to bring anybody down but remember — that was pretty close to happening, especially before the economy tanked on September 15th. If the collapse had happened on November 15th instead, who knows? We’d have to be listening to the RedState StrikeFARCE lecture us on the AWSUM power of the COMMANDER in CHIEF of the Alaska National Guard which is on the frontline of protecting us from cold fronts.
No. As anyone knows, any bad thing that happened under Bush Jr’s reign was the fault either of Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, or black people in general.
Here’s Charlie Daniel’s link:
http://www.charliedaniels.com/2009%20soapbox/soapbox-2009-0102.htm
If we deny God His rightful place in the affairs of this nation should we expect Him to intervene when we need protection? Just what do you think has kept us safe from terrorist attacks since 9/11? It certainly wasn’t the atheists.
Do you think god is happy with us having killed hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis?
But anyway, if Bush/Cheney do get credit for everything after 9/11 does that mean they get blamed for 9/11?
Don’t be silly. Bush and Cheney get credit for everything good that happened, even things they opposed, while all bad stuff, even stuff they supported was the fault of one of the last six Democratic presidencies, including Obama’s not-happened-yet one.
please tell me why you think the home invasion and murder of a little girl won’t receive national coverage.
it probably will receive it. It’s right up Nancy Grace’s alley.
A hungry man is an angry man…
The equation also works the other way around.
HULK ANGRY — HULK EAT SAMMICH
rAmen, Pastafarian brotha, rAmen.
Though Palin/Gein 2012… that’s the ticket!
There’s nothing in the Constitution that says the person has to be alive.
A scholar and gentleperson M. Bouffant.
Wordpress eated my words 3 times.
Poor Troofie and his little straw friends. That’s all he has to play with.
But anyway, if Bush/Cheney do get credit for everything after 9/11 does that mean they get blamed for 9/11?
Nope. They had no way of knowing that the multiple warnings they got before the attacks could possibly be true, because a lot of those intelligence people were there under Clinton’s regime and therefore were a bunch of liars.
So, the worst attack on U.S. soil ever = mullingan. Anthrax attacks = never happened. Therefore, Bush has the best national security record EVAR!
ObQuestion: so, looking back, Mr. VP – has all the killing, torture, looting, and other human misery for which you’re centrally responsible filled that horrible void in your soul, or will you at long last die unfulfilled?
I really do want to know.
s/mullingan/mulligan/
OTOH, Sarah Palin is preparing/hoping to be sworn in as President.
For the full story, written by an out-of-touch limebag who went all the way to New York City to cover the story for The Sunday Times.
Up your GDF ass, WordPress!! Seriously, what kind of crap is that up there? Is this one of those media conspiracies to keep me from getting all the info I need about Zionists & Negroes ?
As you know, sir, we at RedState have licked your bunghole even more enthusiastically than did the gang at The Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, and so we’re grateful you’ve rewarded us with this interview. While you’ve done many destructive things with no regard for the consequences, what really grabs us by the short ones is your feckless combination of extreme physical cowardice and bloodthirsty warmongering — from a very safe distance, of course! With that in mind, what’s the best way to execute someone who notes your unwillingness to die in the wars you’ve started? We at RedState really, really need to know!
Excuse the GDF hell out of me, I was right (as I knew I would be) & preview was wrong.
I’ve noticed the bar being lowered for President Empty Suit…
You can say that again – but his term’s almost over.
To paraphrase a favorite anonymous atheist quote, arguing with trolls is like playing chess with a pigeon. He’ll fly in, strut around knocking over the game pieces and shitting all over the board, then fly off to boast of its great victory.
Like to see the bar being lowered onto, or bars dropped n front of, Pres. Suit 43.
And a nomination for the win to Shecky G.
Crikey, who let alla this riffraff into the room? Fun’s fun, but jeezus. I gotta go back to work tomorrow.
In all of Clinton’s 8 years, we ended up with 2 World Trade Centers, a 5 sided Pentagon, 0 hijacked airliners, and 0 major port cities with bodies rotting in the street.
Under George W. (‘but 8 months warn’t enough to take any warnings seriously!’) Bush Jr., we ended up with 0 World Trade Centers, a rebuilt Pentagon, 4 hijacked and destroyed airliners, and 1 major port city with bodies rotting in the street.
Now, I’m sure that when George W. Bush Jr. was running like an absolute chicken and hiding in different military bases on 9/11 and 9/12 and 9/13 in both fear and shame that he had let the biggest foreign attack ever on U.S. soil without even a finger lifted to stop it (“You’ve covered your ass!”), the fraidy-cat pisspants Republican brigades wanted to turn this into a Clinton blame-fest.
However, here stepped in the Master of Ceremonies, Dick Cheney, who saved Bush Jr. by convincing him that an aggressive, gigantic war against a completely unrelated enemy would be the way to distract America from the stain of Bush Jr’s utter, utter failure to protect his country from some cheap gang of box-cutter wielding thugs.
Had Dick Cheney not been there to save Bush Jr’s ass from the 9/11 failure fire, Bush Jr. might still be crying and drinking in the back of Air Force One, unable to face the nation his moron, ever failed ass let down. Once again his ass was pulled from the fire by one of Daddy’s Reagan friends.
If we deny God His rightful place in the affairs of this nation should we expect Him to intervene when we need protection? Just what do you think has kept us safe from terrorist attacks since 9/11? It certainly wasn’t the atheists.
What, did his alarm not go off that day?
A 12-year-old girl wrongfully arrested as a suspected prostitute, beaten by police and then arrested for assaulting a public servant has launched a lawsuit against the officers, the Houston Press reports.
Dymond Milburn, from Galveston, Texas, was grabbed by three plain-clothed police officers out the front of her house and told, “You’re a prostitute. You’re coming with me”, according to the lawsuit.
After struggling with the men and screaming, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy”, the girl had her mouth covered and was struck in the face and throat, leaving her with black eyes and throat and ear drum injuries, her lawyer said.
Not likely to receive any time on Nancy Garce.
That’s quite a picture you painted there, El Cid. It has the ting! of truth to it.
How fortunate Dick Cheney was there! What would have become of us without that steel hand in the titanium glove? They certainly picked the right person to head W’s VP search team.
tigrismus said,
January 5, 2009 at 3:32
If we deny God His rightful place in the affairs of this nation should we expect Him to intervene when we need protection? Just what do you think has kept us safe from terrorist attacks since 9/11? It certainly wasn’t the atheists.
What, did his alarm not go off that day?
Somebody bet God that he couldn’t make an alarm clock so quiet that even He couldn’t hear it.
And it was a constant, as for eight yrs. we’ve heard nothing but crap about terrorism from those who would terrify us for their political gain (the right wing) followed by crap from those whom they terrify (the ones who can pound on their keyboards, at least, like “Clinton ignored al Qaeda.”)
Say, where were the Republican-majority House & Senate during the Clinton admin., anyway?
Bravely holding the line against terrorism through their exhaustive investigations of the Moooslim menace? Bringing it to the attention of the American people through compelling televised hearings, because Clinton was too busy screwing poor people & making the economy boom for the rich to pay any attention to terrorists?
Well, no, that’s not it. What were they doing that was so important? I remember it was a big deal, & saved This Great Nation of Ours™ from something horrible … What was it? It’s right on the tip of my … Oh my gawd, it’s nowhere NEAR the tip of my — EEeeeeww!!!
[calms down a bit …] That’s right, the House & Senate were worrying about THE CLENIS, while Rome burned & al Qaeda grew.
It certainly wasn’t the atheists.
Actually, it was. We move in mysterious ways.
Prove it wasn’t.
Someone mentioned Charlie Daniels earlier, which is central to my point, as Charlie Daniels is my aunt’s third husband’s cousin. No lie.
If we deny God His rightful place in the affairs of this nation should we expect Him to intervene when we need protection?
No, since His rightful place in the affairs of this nation = not involved in the affairs of this nation.
Hoody-poo, badoodle boo-yeah, &c.
Another famous athiest quote: There are no atheists in foxholes? Bullshit. Atheists make fine soldiers. What they don’t make is good suicide bombers.
That was a bit garbled, but so was the question.
Did God’s alarm clock fail again during the anthrax attacks, or are you OK with those?
Yeah, no rights for Sky Fairies in this country! Humans only.
All I have to say is that if there are not several dozen blogs mocking the blogging-based STRIKE FORCE tomorrow, I will be vastly disappointed in the Internets…
I think it was just that God hit the snooze button, and it was set to “infinity” instead of “seven minutes.”
Being stuck in a foxhole during a fucking war w/ etc. (consult mikey for specifics) all around would be enough to make me an atheist if being drafted hadn’t already.
(If I were inane enough to have b’leeved past the age of eight or so.)
ITTGY, you should have quoted more:
Also, the cops then searched the dad’s car and said they found drugs, to which the dad pled guilty. So, just so’s you know, be careful in letting your daughter wear the wrong pants, because then the police can run unannounced into your yard and beat the sh*t out of her and then if you try and stop them, they can search your car and “find” drugs on you.
Soon hopefully these urgent tasks will be coordinated by the HomeFront Security Department.
Little does Cheney understand that the RedState crest contains a typo. I predict an eventful visit from the Stroke Force.
Well, given his previous time-frame was something like a billion years to a “day”, seven minutes probably equals…
… carry the four, divide by six, move the decimal…
God’ll pay attention again in 22,710 A.D.
Mark your calendars!
Like to see the bar being lowered onto, or bars dropped n front of, Pres. Suit 43.
I’m thinking Chimpy can’t wait to spend quite a bit of his time in those bars.
And, to be fair, Charlie Daniels is EVERYBODY’S third cousin.
Maybe God has narcolepsy and only protects HIS FAVORITEST COUNTRY EVAR if we keep praying him awake?
Maybe he’s just getting sick of us bothering him, so he’s decided to start helping some smaller country instead.
Costa Rica’s doing pretty well, I hear.
I can just imagine God’s voice mail, full of whining wingnut screeds… so, can you blame Him?
Being stuck in a foxhole during a fucking war w/ etc. (consult mikey for specifics) all around would be enough to make me an atheist if being drafted hadn’t already.
If
memoryGoogle serves me well, this subject came up early last year.i cn hz
STRIKETHROUGH FORCEnow plz?2nd good laugh of the day.
After 9/11, remember all the speculation that terrorism would be a constant for Americans?
And it has been a constant. Just ask the families of the 4,147 American soldiers killed in Iraq.
However, the officers reportedly believed she was a prostitute because of the “tight shorts” she was wearing.
Same thing happened to our high school soccer team.
OT but a couple of comments down in Smut’s link is RB saying that the Fursuiters picture at Wikipedia is the saddest picture he’s ever seen. I clicked over, and just had to laugh when I realized I could pick out several of those suits by name.
OMG! You mean all those high school girls’ soccer teams were really just prostitution rings? Does that give “Soccer Mom” some special meaning?
Apparently WordPress is eating offtopic comments tonight.
I can just imagine God’s voice mail, full of whining wingnut screeds… so, can you blame Him?
BEEP! “Please, O Lord, make it rain all over Obama’s nomination acceptance speech…” (grumble) zwipzwipzwip BEEP!
Somebody bet God that he couldn’t make an alarm clock so quiet that even He couldn’t hear it.
Now that’s funny.
You want the truth? Not that Truth, but Truth itself?
This is the most wonderfullest story ever put into video.
Great. You libruls weren’t satisfied to let the homos get married. Now you gotta have elephants gay marrying dogs. Where will it end?
Now you gotta have elephants gay marrying dogs.
Wait – is dog-on-elephant bestiality, or miscegenation?
Hey, we just know love when we see it. Clearly that elephant needed legally protected visitation rights to visit her bitch in the infirmary. And it’s not my problem if you think it’s gross when an elephant gives a dog a tummy rub with her foot. Just because it’s not your thing doesn’t mean it’s not love making.
12-year-old girl…“tight shorts” she was wearing.
I marvel that our resident dolt didn’t cite this outrage. This is his specialty.
African American 12-year-old girl
Oh.
Also it wuz dun by tha po-leese, so it’s OK. They’re lak thuh pray-zuh-dent, if they does it, its legal.
I’m going to have to pray really hard and call a number of prominent televangelists to figure out exactly which is the worse sin, the elephant getting with a dog, or the (apparent) fact that they’re both females.
Or, one of ’em could be Muslim or Hindu, depending on what kind of elephant.
Oh, Lawd. Rick Santorum called this one!
the elephant getting with a dog
What would be the result of such a union? Perhaps a dog with a long memory that could turn on its masters at a moment’s notice.
Oh wait, that is a dog.
Well, the reason elephants have a reputation for turning on their masters is because they have a long memory.
Always treat an elephant well. These are words I live by.
the elephant getting with a dog
What would be the result of such a union?
Mmm…curtrunken.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Mr Vice-President, do you understand these rights?”
What would be the result of such a union?
Pachyderm Retriever
Labrephant
Regardless, the kibble bill would be absurd.
What would be the result of such a union?
A hootnenanny!
Wait, I fucked that joke up.
Grayt Dane
Snuffleluffadoodle
Tennisballstuckunderthecouch Retriever
What’s grey and comes in quarts?
An elephant.
What does an elephant use for tampons?
Sheep.
“Does it anger you that, despite your best efforts, Henry Kissinger, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and Harry Truman have still managed to mass murder more small brown people of extranational provenance than you?”
Fixed that for ya
A mastiffodon?
‘Yeah, but none of those f***ers got a god damn palace in Dubai out of it. At least I didn’t do my killin’ fa free. They can count their bodies in the millions as I count my dollas in tha billions.’ — D. Cheney
Q&A for Darth Dickie?
Oh golly, I’ve got a million of ’em … but I’d settle for strapping the fat fuck down, hitting one of his reptilian veins with a rig loaded with sodium pentothal or SP-17, & asking:
“Thorazine, motherfucker – can you get a prescription for it?”
“That safe of yours … would it just happen to be full of wet-suits & dildos?”
“When you snapped ‘of course the order still stands’ at that aide on September 11th, while a highjacked jet was speeding toward the Pentagon, after you all just sat there doing absolutely nothing while its distance closed from 60 miles down to ten … what exactly was the order that still stood?”
“Scooter Libby: great bottom, or greatest bottom ever?”
“Kittens – do you prefer them roasted or pan-fried?”
( … & last but not least – even though I already left this one on a previous thread:)
“So?”
Everyone needs to lighten up on the troll. He’s just trying to lessen the load for his local law enforcement agencies and make the path to vigilante justice and lynch mobs less encumbered for his constituency.
(cough)bigots(cough)
For creatures like him and his ilk, it sure is easier to point the finger of blame at the anonymous negro when a white girl in his village gets raped than it is to move forward with investigations and those messy indictments. Not to mention the rule of law.
It also feels soooo good to stand next to the bonfire while strange fruit hangs from the trees.
How’s that for calling this jagoff a racist?
Sheesh!
RedState Army STRIKE FORCE is go!!!
Sir, when shooting harmless creatures which can feel pain, but cannot return fire — like, say, pen-raised quail or normal senior citizens — does blatantly lying about it later increase your joy by degree, or does it elevate you satisfaction to a whole new kind? Please put away that gun, and answer me!
Will it blend?
“Naked men stacked in a pyramid… YOUR idea?”
There is such intensity of desire to get in line to suck Dick Cheney’s wanger over at redstate that it is a litte embarrassing to think of oneself as a fellow American.
Not much left of the dog, I don’t suppose.
It took over three-hundred years to end miscegenation in America.
Three-hundred long years. There must have been something wrong with me, because I wanted to have sex with every race, (didn’t get anywhere close to doing so,) before I married.
Number One slept with aliens.
I empathized.
“Salt of the gol-darned earth.”
Yep. Hard, square, and bad for your health.
The fact is, the blacks and gays have too many rights, and are getting special rights. We need to insure that the people who founded this country, white Christian males who are straight, are not descriminated against.
The fact is, the blacks and gays have too many rights
Just out of curiosity, is there a number greater than zero that you would consider “just the right amount”?
Does Halliburton really retain the plans for the Death Star? Do they keep them on DVD or on a flash drive?
Was your father really kept at Area 51 after he crash-landed in New Mexico?
In the Nostradamus quatrain “Babies ate and burned, Wittling wisdom shot, Shiny dark lord, dumber than Quaile”, which part do you think absolves you at the Hague?
In the Nostradamus quatrain “Babies ate and burned, Wittling wisdom shot, Shiny dark lord, dumber than Quaile”, which part do you think absolves you at the Hague?
The part where it was predicted by one of them foofy French frog fucks, right?
“Can I use kneepads, or do you find it impossible to climax unless you know your ‘partner’ is suffering at least some mild discomfort?”
The part where it was predicted by one of them foofy French frog fucks, right?
Goddamned lawyer tricks…
What’s an “IMDB”? It sounds like a form of herpes.
Bit of a softball for Mr. Cheney, just to get him comfortable.
“What was it like consuming Burgess Meredith’s life essence? Do you resent that you don’t have a monocle and purple tophat yet?”
Plays and musicals are for libofascist pussosexual miscegenators!! The only real actors are the ones what show up down at the matinee, boy golly.
The only real actors are the ones what show up down at the matinee, boy golly.
Yea, dat Bugs Bunny, Ah tell you, Ah cain’t unnerstand wah he nebber won no Ocsar!
“Salt of the gol-darned earth.”
Ploughed into the soil to destroy its fertility.
My audience of you is sufficient! 😉
Check and mate.
Wrong. Modern suicide bombing was practically invented by a bunch of godless socialists in Sri Lanka.
How did you survive your fall down the shaft and escape the station before Wedge and Lando commenced their attack on the Death Star’s main reactor?
That is funny. I can’t stop chuckling at that one.
I clicked over to the Wiki link, Atheist, and while I didn’t read every bit of it, I skimmed it over, and did a text search for “Atheist” and “Atheism”, with no matches. Unless I missed something, or unless your definition of atheist somehow equals socialist, you’re going to have to do better to convince me