Resident Weevil

Paul Krugman is having a hard time finding a word to describe Alberto Gonzales’ latest unbelievable idiocy:

Above: “What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong?”

[F]or some reason, I am portrayed as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with. I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.

And what the hell – because I haven’t gone down the Godwin road in quite a while, might I suggest….

Traudl Jungish?

Above: “I don’t recall.”


Comments: 89


Spooky timing – I just watched the documentary about Trudl Junge, “Blind Spot,” and the movie based on the documentary, “Downfall.” Both were riveting. Unlike Gonzales, I saw that Junge repeatedly expressed remorse and guilt.


I hope that in a couple of years Gonzo considers himself a “victim” of the criminal justice system.


Gonzo’s just pissed that his Bush sycophancy doesn’t look very good on a resume. Whoever thought fucking with the law wouldn’t be well received by the legal profession?

He’s hoping that a well-placed pardon will make it all go away.


Oh and if Krugman is having a hard time finding a word for Abu Al Gonzales. Try this one:


White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism

Well, since he’s already crying about being a victim, I think the ICC should give him something to cry about.

What a fucking chickenshit, look at Dick Cheney, you don’t see him fucking crying about being a victim, he’s proud of his war crimes.

See, this is what makes me think that most rightwingers, unlike Cheney, are actually sane— this fucking liar won’t admit it, but he knows he’s a criminal, and he’s not proud of it.

He’s just like the rest of the Nuremburg gang- would never have had the guts to lead the crimes, but are right there to follow some lunatic’s lead… then after the war, try to blame the lunatic instead of themselves.

Go fuck yourself, Abu, you criminal asshole.


Poor sports. That’s what he and the rest of the Bush sycophants are. They gloat and swagger when they win, they whine and cower when they lose, and in between, they never learn a thing. In my family, we call them poor sports-LOSERS!


The War on Terror is a wet fart. Let the War on Hubris commence…


Oh, I think Abu really rates a comparison to Herr Eichmann, the good bureaucrat who facilitated horror.


Comparison with Junge is not exactly fair. She didn’t have any power, she ws just a secretary. Abu G actually carried out policies, like political corruptiono f the Justice Department. He authored justification for and promoted the use of torture.

What a fucking dweeb water-carrier he is, though, and what a tin ear.


The Eichmann comparison is pretty apt.


Poor Alberto Gonzales. He’s just like Valerie Plame, only guilty of war crimes, and lacking testicles and a book deal. Gonzales should be in jail. He only lost his job.


How about “cunt”?


What are you all so angry about? Mr. Gonzales is merely pointing out, truthfully I might add, that he is exactly like those people who jumped to their death from the 60th floor of the WTC rather then burn to death or wait for the building to collapse and crush them. Liebruls, humph!


I think the bushites fit the classical definition of “Bullies”. All swagger and manliness when they win, total and utter whiners and cry-babies when they lose.


Gonzo’s just pissed that his Bush sycophancy doesn’t look very good on a resume.

Don’t worry, I’m sure he can land a job at a right-wing think tank or something.


Ah, another right winger indulges his martyr complex. His whining reminds me of listening to Sean Hannity after the election. Sean must have had to do a lot of trouser adjustments while he evoked the vision of Braveheart’s execution by torture to help his listeners understand how he, Sean, would be persecuted during the Obama administration. But he promised to continue his brave bloviating in the face of verbal criticism.

Sean really should have let the Ron Paul supporters catch him last winter. If he had been physically restrained and received some bruises, I’m sure the resulting fantasies would have livened up Mrs. Hannity’s sex life for years.

We should indulge Gonzales’ vision of himself as St. Sebastian. Bars–shackles–strip searches. He’ll thank us later.

White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism

In case the right-wing think-tanks dont’s come through, the General has a petition to get Wal-Mart to hire him as a greeter.

Haloscan wouldn’t allow me to add my name a few minutes age, but hopefully it’s been fixed by now.


“Don’t worry, I’m sure he can land a job at a right-wing think tank or something.”

Surprised he’s not been tapped by FoxNews as a legal “analyst” yet.

Or perhaps he’s too transparent even for them.


Hey, I know! How about we call him a “cunt”?


Sorry to go O/T, but TBogg has a great idea–get those two crazy kids Amy Alkon and Dennis Prager together.


no, wrong. its “dildotron”.

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

All swagger and manliness when they win, total and utter whiners and cry-babies when they lose.

Yup, along with all the cheating and referee-intimidating and threats to the audience and whatever else they can come up with instead of playing fair. Biscuits above is right – they’re poor sports.


Republicans are avoiding Obama’s inauguration. Oh, boo hoo. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out.


At the end of the documentary with Traudi Jungish she confesses that other young women in similar circumstances somehow figured out what was going on (some spoke out and were punished, even executed) and that her own ignorance was no excuse.


“Solipsist” he hissed. It’s really good for hissing.


An OT pet peeve:

Activist Price sues over reports of ‘phony’ law degree
By William R. Levesque, Times Staff Writer
In print: Friday, January 2, 2009

Republican activist Charley D. Price spent much of his Florida career working on behalf of veterans like himself.

Then one day last year, he saw a series of e-mails started by a Texan, who wrote: “Confirmed all falsifications of Charley Dale Price education. … The guy is indeed a fake.”

Had Price bought his law degree from a diploma mill?


On the other hand, Krauthammer sees MORAL CLARITY in Gaza because the Israelis send TEXT MESSAGES to the people they’re about to bomb.


Reminds me of the corrupt French general in the Kirk Douglas movie Paths of Glory.

“So…now you’re making me the goat, the only truly honorable man in this whole affair.”


Hutz & Gonzales, LLP

Hutz: Mrs Simpson, your sexual harassment case is just what I need to rebuild my shattered career! Care to join me in a belt of Scotch?

Marge: But it’s 9:30 in the morning!

Hutz: Yeah but… I haven’t slept in days. [glug, glug] Last chance! [glug, glug] Ohh yeah!


Poor Gonzalez wont get a job with the rich guys. It would be too embarrassing for them when he’d keep getting mistaken for the guy who hands out towels in the country club men’s room.


“What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong?”

Gonzales’ comment reminds me of the utterly breathtaking one W made after the shoe throw: “I don’t understand what that guy’s beef was…”


Gonzales is indeed a casualty – he’s the living collateral damage of his own distilled bullshit. Too comfortable in the mental cesspool of neocon dogma to realize he’s no better than any suicide-bomber or death-squad psychopath. Too mesmerized by BushCo’s aura of slime to even comprehend that his obscene attempt at putting a juridical fig-leaf over torture-chambers IS fundamentally wrong. As the old cliche goes: you need a university degree to be that stupid.

Being hoisted on your own petard, A.G.?
Sucks to be you.


Damn, R.B.

Had Price bought his law degree from a diploma mill?

“My honor will not allow anyone to say that about me,” Price said.

But this is not an ordinary defamation case to determine if false statements tarnished a reputation.

That’s because even Price, adviser to the Korean vets association, acknowledges he is no lawyer. And he did get his law degree from a school effectively shut down by Kansas for granting worthless degrees.

Given that the school in question was in fact shut down for being a diploma mill, how can there be a lawsuit?


Let us not forget that Abu G was mentioned frequently as a Supreme Court Justice Nominee some years ago. (That was before GWB found us the most qualified person on the Planet: Harriet Miers.) Now he can’t even find a job. Poor baby.


It’s Traudl Junge. Please fix.

Imagine, having to spend a lifetime apologizing for taking a prestigious job when you were about 20, then failing to openly criticize your boss, who happened to be one of the most powerful men in the world. Certain things get a pass in my book.


I remember when they shut down the diploma mill in Kansas. What a sad day that was. All the mill workers lost their jobs. And it’s happening all over the country. We’ve undermined our degree manufacturing base so much, now all those mill jobs have been shipped overseas.


Given that the school in question was in fact shut down for being a diploma mill, how can there be a lawsuit?

Because America is the greatest country in the world.


“What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong?”

“Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly,” and replace “dog” with “son.”


Given that the school in question was in fact shut down for being a diploma mill, how can there be a lawsuit?

Because America is the greatest country in the world.

And because Price has the bucks to use to courts as a bludgeon, which proves America truly is the greatest country in the world. Ever.


Hey, what’s with the gender-based anatomical invective? Can’t you criticize a willfully ignorant self-serving whiner without using a pejorative term aimed at keeping women barefoot in the kitchen stirring a pot with one hand and holding a kid with the other?

I vote for “ignoranus”. That’s somebody who’s both stupid AND an asshole.


Pore me I am a victim of my own sycophantic arseholery. It’s not fair!!!


Alberto Gonzales is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.

All that crap about torture is liberal nonsense – nonsense that cost poor Al his job and hampered his future prospects.


Seems to me the pubbies were whiners when they won, too.


In 1951, Richard Asher was the first to describe a pattern of self-harm, where individuals fabricated histories, signs, and symptoms of illness. Remembering Baron Münchausen, Asher named this condition Münchausen’s Syndrome.

Originally, this term was used for all factitious disorders. Now, however, there is considered to be a wide range of factitious disorders, and the diagnosis of “Münchausen syndrome” is reserved for the most severe form, where the simulation of disease persecution is the central activity of the affected person’s life.


Ooops, “disease” was supposed to be with a strike through above!


where the simulation of persecution is the central activity of the affected person’s life.

I thought that was called “religion.”


I thought that was called “religion.”

Except when it is “Old Time Religion” which is good enough for me. And good enough for you if you know what’s good for you.


Well, Gonzales is out of power, and that’s basically what he’s whining about.

It’s always the same with these sycophants; it’s fun to race through the snow on the Wingnut Sled, kissing the ass of tyrants and drinking the blood of liberals. When the wolves get too close, they never think it will be them who gets thrown out.

They tell a lot of Big Lies, but the biggest is the one they tell themselves; that they aren’t like those poor dopes who got thrown out on the last turn. They are loyal (the wolf food is not) they are smart (unlike the wolf food) and their usefulness is so important they will never, ever, find themselves grabbed out from under the lap robes and pitched into the snow. Disbelief will shield them from reality… until the fangs close on their jugular.

Since the Republican party is more and more resembling a crime syndicate, I keep having unavoidable Goodfellas flashbacks regarding them. It’s just like Ray Liotta assuring his wife that other people go to jail and get shot in the head.

Not them.


Via a commenter at my blog — Casualties of War


In the Heartland, we realize that Gonzales would be second only to Bush in our pantheon of heroes, except he’s a Mexican.


“Hey, I know! How about we call him a ‘cunt’?”

Oh, hardy-har-har.

Yeah, sure. You do that. Whatever.

Meanwhile, I’m calling him a “cunt.”


It’s really not that Gonzales is responsible for “evil” policies people disagree with — SOMEONE out there must agree with him and be able to offer him a job! It’s just his inability to recall things. You wouldn’t want to give him a task at a meeting just to have him not do it because he couldn’t recall it, right? He should file for disability for his mental illness. We shouldn’t joke about it; mental illnesses can be serious, too.


I think Alberto needs a name change. How about Wank Douchington?


What’s with calling him “Abu”? It almost seems like it’s meant to defame people whose nicknames follow Arabic naming conventions. I don’t see the connection.


Abu Gharib.


Snarla — They’re calling him “Abu” because “Ghraibzales” is hard to pronounce.

As someone with a profound affection for female anatomy, I must protest the flattery of that monster by equating him with female genitalia. I can’t think of a single thing my cunt has in common with Alberto Gonzales. I’m not even sure we share any DNA in common; did anyone check to see if he’s just a lizard in a rubber suit?


My sentiments exactly Interrobang. Gentalia have a use and can be a source of pleasure, Gonzales is just a lying arse wipe.


I was just following orders.

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

Seems to me the pubbies were whiners when they won, too.

Not right away – there was a period of really awful gloating triumphalism. Then when it became clear that winning an election didn’t magically do away with the real world and let them write their own reality, the whining started.

There was a sort of aftershock of the triumphalism in that “bookmark this, libs” screedlet that Troofie did before the election.


O/T, but thanks to this goofball website whenever I hear my dad discussing football and he brings up the UF football coach, I can only think of our transparently faux troll.

A Hubri Spokesman

Let the War on Hubris commence…
We’re innocent! We were set up!


TBogg has a great idea–get those two crazy kids Amy Alkon and Dennis Prager together.
TBogg quotes Amy Alkon:

A man, for example, doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night with some primal longing to bring his girlfriend flowers, rehang her back door, or clean the trap in her sink

Let me fix the error…
some primal longing to bring his girlfriend flowers, “rehang her back door”, or “clean the trap in her sink”.

Coach Urban Meyer

Ding-a-ling dong dilly dally, Simba B! The Cool Coach is busy right now getting ready to unleash a SPREAD of SPREAD all over Bumbling Bob and the Silly Sooners, so there’s not much time to talk about the incoming victory for Super Sarah, the Power Palin! Let alone Boss Bobby Jindal, who unlike the pathetic Obummer, is a real agent of Change! And I’m not just talking about the change in your loony lib pockets after Obummer’s done socializing everything!

Badoodle-boo-yeah! Urban up and out, getting ready to reign on the BCS!

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

I like pie, Hoody-poo, servin’ up a big spread of badoodle-boo-yeah, &c.


Traudl Jungish seems an unfair comparison. She was, after all, a cloistered female clerical worker who took dictation in the 1940s; nowhere near equivalent to Gonzales in position or power. She also realized the terrible consequence of her blind obedience and ignorance. At least that’s the impression I had seeing the film featuring her. Can’t say the same for this scumbag Gonzales who knew full well what he was agreeing to and it didn’t bother him a bit.


I can only think of our transparently faux troll.

What? The Coach is a troll? Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things!


Wait, a fake troll on top of that!

The Goddamn Batman Has A Nobel Prize In Wailing On Scumbags

You just have to know that Krugman wants to use “shitbird” but he still thinks that it’s inappropriate for the Grey Lady. Hey, Paul, you’ve got a big damn Nobel Prize! They’ll let you get away with it.


How about “cunt”?

He lacks the depth and the charm.

Turbine Yukon Palin

I just (re)read Night Watch. There’s a scene where Vimes breaks into a state-sanctioned torture/interrogation facility and confronts a clerk, who did not himself torture anyone, but wrote down what the tortured folk “confessed” to.

Vimes screams, “And what does daddy do all day at work?”

I share the sentiment. And wish I could scream it over and over again at Alberto, Yoo, et al until my voice grew hoarse.


I’ll second the vote for “shitbird” Its got a nice Ellroy ring to it.

Poor Abu Gonzoles, he’s a sycophant. All the evil of an evil dictator, but no charisma or personal strength. That, and he never had his own ideas, he just was the enabler.

God damn shame that he walks the streets a free man.

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

He lacks the depth and the charm.

Hee hee hee

Dostoevsky's Frozen Head

I would call him a prick, but that would imply he has both tensile strength and the potential of giving pleasure.

See how it works?


How about Abu-Ghraib Zales? Naah, too weird-looking.


There’s already a word to describe someone as self-centered and vacuously ignorant.



Christ, show some fucking dignity Gonzo. Saddam never acted like such a pansy.

This is just disgusting.


Bina, above:

Let the War on Hubris commence…

Best idea so far this yr., but a project that stretches past the infinity of the WOT.

Still, sitting around talking won’t get it going. Lock & load!


I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.

George sure has fucked you over hasn’t he?



Poor fucking Piggy. He just wanted his glasses back.



He lacks the depth and the charm.


Cheney and Rove might argue about the depth part, though. In the literal sense.


I think if we are going to give him an organ related nickname, let’s pick something both sexes have, is of no known use, but can still kill — I give you

Alberto “Vermiform Appendix” Gonzalez


>Traudl Jungish?

No, I think she’s actually getting the Grande Venti Blogress Lifetime Achievement Award.


Oh my, my War on Hubris is beyond infinity?



Can we just skip to the part where we stuff this bastard in a big sack and get to work with our baseball bats?

Thank you.


Alberto “Vermiform Appendix” Gonzalez

Nice, but I think I’ll stick with “Ass-wattle”.


To avoid offending the gender police, perhaps we should refer to what is missing, not what is there.

E.g., Alberto “Cuntless” Gonzales.

If that’s still offensive, then go rap Ghostbusters on him: “Dickless G.”

Because otherwise, I’m going with Alberto “Intestinal Flora” Gonzales.


Can we just skip to the part where we stuff this bastard in a big sack and get to work with our baseball bats?

With such an inexact method, how can you know if you’re inflicting pain equivalent to organ failure? (Sheesh, that’s what Tasers are for…)

And, hey, Abu? (Mind if I call you Abu? Oh, well, then, STFU!) Anyway, Abu, here’s the deal. If you were dragged from The Hague, bound in chains, hurled bodily into a jail cell, and kept there in solitary confinement for twenty years, whilst entire generations of schoolchildren the world over were taught how they’d rather be called “Vidkud Quisling” than “Abu Gonzales”, we would easily agree, that rat-bastard got off easy.” Why? Because when anyone — anyone familiar with American constitutional law hears our President called “the unitary executive”, the first (and, really, only) response is to respond, “dictatorial bullshit!” Now, that could get rough: no one likes hearing Teh Deciderer shriek filthy obscenities, especially not when he hurls half-empty bottles of expensive booze into the listener’s face from a distance approaching (but not exceeding) four feet. Had you spoken out like the man you weren’t then, you’d not be mewling like the man you’re not now. Understand? Didn’t think so.

Abu is like one of those sleazy ex-junta leaders, who terrorized the locals for years, then wore them down into granting him immunity from prosecution in return for his only looting half their treasury as he left office. Now he’s hurt — truly and deeply hurt — that some of his former victims spit on him when they happen to pass on the sidewalk.


Hey, ding-dong-silly-dilly-whatever, if you have to glom the name of a college football coach, couldn’t you pick Knute Rockne or Bear Bryant or someone else who’s decently dead and won’t mind?


Super Sarah, the Power Palin!

This always sounds like an STD.


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