Shorter Rick Moran

the_moran_in_a_hat
“I call this game FUN-IN-A-BOX.”

Is “Barack the Magic Negro” Racist?

  • Because liberals politicize everything, only conservatives are allowed to decide what’s racist. As a conservative, I assure you that a white person calling Barack a “Negro” isn’t racist because Barack is, after all, a Negro.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 342

 
 
 

The GOP is the colorblind party, don’tcha know?

Calling the President-elect a ‘magic negro’ is central to that point.

 
 

I would say that a guy named Rick Moran with a Web site called rightwingnuthouse, who is also fat, is ironic, but everyone knows irony is dead.

 
 

Well, then, Rick, calling you a moron isn’t an insult, because you are, after all, a moron.

 
 

Bookmark this, liberals. The Republican Party will be an unstoppable force in Alabama in 2012.

 
 

Dear Rick Moran,
Want to no what a racism looks like? Take a look in the mirror, fuckwit! By the wat, you spelled your name wrong, it is M-o-r-o-n.

 
 

So when can we expect to see the RNC production of Scalia &Thomas doing their famous, Me and My Shadow, softshoe on Youtube, Rick?

 
 

You know what else ain’t racist? Segregation. I don’t hear no people bitchin’ when you separate out your recycling. Oh, no, then separate but equal is fine. It’s just that all of a sudden when it comes to jobs and schools and public accommodations you libruls start whining about this and that.

 
 

So when can we expect to see the RNC production of Scalia &Thomas doing their famous, Me and My Shadow, softshoe on Youtube, Rick?

No, no. Their next performance is Stepin Fetchit’s famous whistling past the graveyard routine in blackface.

 
 

Hey, he said NEGRO – cut him some slack. You shoulda heard the original version.

 
 

You know what else ain’t racist? Segregation.

Yeah, and using the N-word. That ain’t racist. If it is Ok for Black folks to say it then every redneck, cracker, hillbilly, and white supremacist in America ought to be able to say it proudly in public.

 
 

The fact is, it is not racist to point out the shortcomings of the negro race, as they are very obvious, they are lazy, stupid, violent and overly emotional, which is why liberals love them so much, they wear the “blackness” and the “ghetto” as a badge of pride and glorify the sex, drugs, drunkeness, fights that make up “black culture.”

You don’t see whites falling for Islam, but lots of blacks do, the suckers.

 
 

I like this shorter. Its funny.

 
 

The fact is, it is not racist to point out the shortcomings of the negro race, as they are very obvious, they are lazy, stupid, violent and overly emotional,

Unlike the poor white trash who are the very models of probity, decorum, unblemished virtue, and restraint.

 
 

You know what else ain’t racist? Segregation.
——————————-
Yeah, and using the N-word. That ain’t racist.

Also, racism isn’t racist. Anyone who says racism is racist is a racist.

 
 

I don’t know what that word “probity” means, unless it’s what those aliens did to my anus that time.

 
 

And just as parodying someone as a “magical Negro” isn’t racist, it also isn’t racist to have a parody Al Sharpton singing the parody as a minstrel performer, and using mispronunciations to hilarious effect just as the original minstrel performers playing stupid Negroes used them in what was considered by some to be “entertainment”…60 years ago.

 
 

That’s Mr. Magic Negro to you Ricky.

 
 

That’s Mr. PRESIDENT Magic Negro to you Ricky.

Fix’d.

We need to rub this in their faces.

Over.

And over.

And over, again.

 
 

By the way, there’s startling news! A neo-con wingnut welfare recipient has published a piece in a right-wing newspaper stating that Bush is wonderful.

Nothing like this has ever happened before.

 
 

DrDick said,

December 28, 2008 at 18:27

Dear Rick Moran,
Want to no what a racism looks like? Take a look in the mirror, fuckwit! By the wat, you spelled your name wrong, it is M-o-r-o-n.

Who spelled what wrong?

Get a brain, DrDick!

 
 

Hey folks, you see that?

Blacks can be racists too? WOW!! Color me a surprised liberal.
I’ve also heard Latinos, Asians, and even, Samoans can be racists.

You know that means don’t you,? Its ok if “Whites” are Racist too.

After all LOOK AT BLACK PEOPLE WHO KILL WHITE PEOPLE!!

Isn’t that evidence enough that ALL white people are victims systemic bigotry?

 
 

We need to rub this in their faces.

Hold them down and rub their noses in it until they cannot get the smell out of their nostrils.

 
 

Ok who pulled that post?

 
 

What Owlbear1 said.

I, for one, thought it instructive to learn that the existence of black criminals makes it okay for white leaders to make racist public insults.

 
 

Just so everyone knows to what I am referring.

http://www.sullivan-county.com/wcva/liberal_racism.htm

Not sure what happened to the original posting.

 
 

Fuck off you little coward.

 
 

A neo-con wingnut welfare recipient has published a piece in a right-wing newspaper stating that Bush is wonderful.

From the article: Much of the condemnation of his policies though is driven by a venomous hatred of Bush’s personality and leadership style, rather than an objective assessment of his achievements.

Yup. As a liberal, I’m not much for context. Does anybody remember if Bush did anything, good or bad? I wasn’t really following. What’s a president got to do with policy, anyway?

All I know is he gives me the heebie-jeebies.

 
 

I, for one, thought it instructive to learn that the existence of black criminals makes it okay for white leaders to make racist public insults.

Because of course random acts of violence by minorities against white folks are exactly the same thing as 500 years of systematic enslavement, genocide, dispossession, exploitation, rape, mutilation, murder, segregation, disenfranchisement, and marginalization by whites against minorities.

 
 

Obviously, Republican spirituals like Barack the Magic Negro are the Swing Low, Sweet Chariot of liberal fascism. Or the White Rose Society. Or whatever the German equivalent of Jena 6 was. Either way, heh, libs.

 
 

Now you tell me what is going on here.

You’re a retarded moron, that’s what’s going on here.

 
a concerned citizen
 

I wonder if Rick Moran would mind a song called “Rick the Magic Christian”?

(see the link for how the bailout money should be distributed.)

 
 

You’re a retarded RACIST moron, that’s what’s going on here.

There, fixed it for you, all for free.

 
 

Without addressing the rest of your dubious reasoning, Easy to Tell, I’ll just ask: don’t you want your political leaders held to a higher standard than random criminals?

 
 

You’re a retarded moron, that’s what’s going on here.

We have our very own magical motard!

 
 

don’t you want your political leaders held to a higher standard than random criminals?

No. This has been another edition of ….

 
 

Heh. I baited the Moran into responding, then slapped him down again.

 
 

I’d like to see Karl Rove held to the standard of a random criminal.

He’s only free to roam the streets because he’s been held to a far lesser standard, aka IOKIYAR.

 
 

One story gets coverage coast to coast, and race and racism are the whole narrative. The other one is buried, with veiled or non-existant references to race although the whole thing is racially motivated.

Oh, that’s to frighten you even more, ‘Easy to Scare’.

Duh!

It’s ALL about making you as ABSOLUTELY terrified as is humanly possible.

Looks like our plan is working brilliantly…

 
 

It’s ALL about making you as ABSOLUTELY terrified as is humanly possible.

Given that he is currently hiding under the bed in the basement bomb shelter pissing and shitting all over himself and puking his guts out, I would say it is a resounding success.

 
 

By the way, there’s startling news! A neo-con wingnut welfare recipient has published a piece in a right-wing newspaper stating that Bush is wonderful.

Nile Gardiner is Director of the Margaret Thatcher Centre for Freedom

Ah, of course.

 
 

Now you tell me what is going on here.

Other than some of the most weak-ass cherry-picking this side of Teh Short Bus? Not a hell of a lot.

Reiterating your stale old “gotcha” slop just makes you look more dimwitted. If you’d spent this much time & effort gathering nose-goblins from across the land in order to construct a 17-ton ball of snot, you’d’ve STILL accomplished more than you have so far.

A clue – let me give it you.

 
 

Easy to Scare: this is right up your alley.

 
 

Why are they so devoted to racism? I mean, that’s one of the ugliest, least defensible, most damaging of all bigotries…

Oh. Yeah.

 
Easy to tell he is a chickenshit scared little boy with a tiny wee-wee
 

OH! OH! OH! Boogey menzes everywhere! Theyz iz gonez getz me! Help, help, help! MOMMMY!!!!!!!

 
 

Apparently there’s not going to be a flame war with the Moran; he hasn’t responded again.

 
Easy to tell he is a chickenshit scared little boy with a tiny wee-wee
 

Apparently there’s not going to be a flame war with the Moran; he hasn’t responded again.

Well, where’s the fun in that. Typical chickenshit conservative, afraid to publicly take on the left in open combat. Though I suppose that a war of the wits with the unarmed is a tad unsportsmanlike. Perhaps we should express a bit of chagrin.

 
 

It’s the Little Penis That Couldn’t Syndrome. They fear the manliness of the black man, and it’s all downhill from there.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

So, by Truth’s standard (and will you fucking stay to your stupid fucking pseudonym, asshole? I’ve had to put you into the killfile like 28 times in the past week because you won’t fucking stick to a name), the remarkable divorce rate in white families completely justifies any petty racism a black person can commit, right? I mean, since the other way around totally justifies petty racism from, y’know, white people.

Actually, I suspect that’d be where his racial “equality” turns on a dime. Since nothing can justify black-on-white racism, unlike the other way around.

 
 

It’s the Little Penis That Couldn’t Syndrome. They fear the manliness of the black man, and it’s all downhill from there.

Shit, they are scared of their own shadows. Mostly afraid to crawl out from under the bed for fear the boogey man will get them.

 
 

We know that shadows elongate images–maybe it’s Shadow Envy. They’re afraid of their own shadow’s penis!

Okay, maybe they’re just stupid.

 
 

Okay, maybe they’re just stupid.

DING!

 
 

Okay, maybe they’re just stupid.

Personally, this appeals to me simply on Ockham’s Razor grounds.

 
 

Personally, this appeals to me simply on Ockham’s Razor grounds.

It is sort of the unified field theory of wingnuttia.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

DrDick:

Well, not quite unified.

There’s still the “Maybe they’re just assholes” to factor in as well. I suppose you could posit “Maybe they’re just stupid assholes” as a unification theorem, but that’s at least twice as complex as either original option.

 
 

You know tho?

In my lifetime, I have rarely seen “The Simplest Explanation” turn out to be the actual explanation.

At least at the Human scale of things…

 
 

I am comparing two things.

A song is written (about the President!) that mocks him for being black.

Blacks abduct two white people, subject them to lengthy and horrific tortures, then kill them.

In both instances, the motivation was the color of the victim.

Even in the link you posted, which is apparently a blog with a point of view, shall we say, there is no clear indication that race was the motivation in the murders. Lots of insinuation by the blogger in question and some of the people he links to, but nothing from the AP reports or any official word that says this was anything other than a bunch of hoodlums that committed horrendous crimes.

One story gets coverage coast to coast, and race and racism are the whole narrative. The other one is buried, with veiled or non-existant references to race although the whole thing is racially motivated.

Now you tell me what is going on here.

One story involves a national figure who made history by being the first African-American elected to the presidency of the United States, an event inextricably wrapped up with our national views on race and racism. The other one, horrific though it may be, is still in the end a local crime story. Many communities have crime stories that rival this one for viciousness; few of them make national headlines.

 
 

I think the Prime Mover in the unified field theory must be “assholery,” since a few, like William F. Buckley, showed signs of not being stupid, but he supplemented that with “mean.”

In fact, when we speak of the “mean of wingnuttia,” we have an absolute quantity.

 
 

Blacks abduct two white people, subject them to lengthy and horrific tortures, then kill them.

Of course there is also this:
http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/usworld/news-article.aspx?storyid=91042

Which our correspondent seems to have conveniently stuffed down the memory hole.

 
 

In fact, when we speak of the “mean of wingnuttia,” we have an absolute quantity.

That is a quantity closely approaching infinity.

 
 

The way I heard the Unified Theory explained was that as wingnuts become more dense, it becomes more and more difficult to tell whether they are more stupid or more assholish until eventually singularity is reached.

 
 

Dan, Dude!!!

You’re totally harshing the fear!!!

Ixnay on the nexplanationay!!

Damn!

 
 

The way I heard the Unified Theory explained was that as wingnuts become more dense, it becomes more and more difficult to tell whether they are more stupid or more assholish until eventually singularity is reached.

Excellent!

We need a kind of string corollary, something to explain how they all get their talking points simultaneously.

Or, failing that, find the person manning the Central Fax Machine and beat them with a sea bass.

 
 

Yep. There be racists.

But guess what we learned just last month.

Yep. There’s not enough of them to have an effect on a national outcome.

There are fewer racists, fewer homophobes, fewer advocates of purely tribal fear and hatred. Every decade, every generation, more people learn that there is NO such thing as race, and no harm to anyone from people who love each other.

We’re all just humans, for whatever good and bad that means, and our options are to live together in peace or continue to slaughter each other like animals.

If you’re looking to see where you are on the scale of humanity, Rick, relative to where WE are? Just turn on your TV on January 20th. Any channel will do just fine. WE elected Barack Hussein Obama to be our 44th President. You chose not to participate, because you are one of those 20%ers. You can cling to your obsolete hatred and fear, because we are already there.

Your time is past…

mikey

 
 

The whole “comparing two news events, as if the comparison will tease out anything meaningful” thing is a sucker’s game, anyway, since you can choose pretty much any two stories you want to establish your thesis. I could “prove” that the Liberal News Media is inexorably obsessed with cute white women by comparing stories like the runaway bride disappearance or the murder of Natalie Holloway to pretty much anything at all.

 
 

Your time is past…

And extinction is forever, which I think is what scares them the most.

 
 

It’s the new Derangement Syndrome, just like the RW always accused us of suffering about Bush. They have tried to tar him with anything, and they are growing desperate, because none of it seems to stick. Wright, Rezco, Blagojevich, nothing has managed to lower Obama’s approval rating. So finally, pathetically, they are reduced to criticizing his very popularity itself. This is where derisive terms like “The Chosen One”, “Chocolate Jesus”, and, yes, “The Magic Negro” really come from. It reminds me of a whiny, unattractive high school girl, sneering about “little miss perfect.” “Who wants to go to their stupid ol’ prom anyway?”

 
 

It’s the new Derangement Syndrome, just like the RW always accused us of suffering about Bush.

Oh, projection!

Is there nothing you can’t do?

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Find fault in the person performing it?

 
 

We need a kind of string corollary, something to explain how they all get their talking points simultaneously.

It’s like a very deep idiocy well (like a gravity well) where the entire wingnuttia “mentational” universe is collapsing around the stoopidity. The talking points are akin to Hawking radiation – the only thing that escapes is the information contained within. Or rather, lack of it.

 
 

In other words, ex nihilo nihilo fit

 
 

Damn. You know what I meant to type. Fuck. Poop. Tutu poopoo in his muumuu. Booboo!

 
 

It’s like a very deep idiocy well (like a gravity well) where the entire wingnuttia “mentational” universe is collapsing around the stoopidity.

The Black Asshole theory?

 
 

I would like to take this moment to remind all concerned that our next President is black, black, black blackety black y’all, he’s blackety blacket blacky black. Also Negroid and African. And he’s got a Muslim name. From Islam. And he is a Luo tribesman from Kenya Africa and he’s black. And black. And he can play basketball, which is because he’s black, which goes along with being black.

 
 

Say, has anyone heard that we are about to have a black president? Which means standing up when a black man walks into a room. Calling him Sir. Treating him with the utmost respect and deference.

I’m going to love this year.

 
 

We need a kind of string corollary, something to explain how they all get their talking points simultaneously.

It’s like a very deep idiocy well (like a gravity well) where the entire wingnuttia “mentational” universe is collapsing around the stoopidity. The talking points are akin to Hawking radiation – the only thing that escapes is the information contained within. Or rather, lack of it.

I was thinking more along the lines of quantum entanglement, where a change in one entangled particle instantly causes an identical change in the other, no matter how far apart they are. I think wingnuts’ brains are all entangled together, much like their bodies are often entangled together during their frequent (but highly secret) gay orgies.

 
 

their bodies are often entangled together during their frequent (but highly secret) gay orgies.

Sir, your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

 
 

El Cid – WTF? Muslim? He’s Jewish, laddy. Named after Barak, son of Abinoam, who with Deborah led the Israelites to victory against the Caananites. His last name, Obama, is a reduction of obambulate, “to walk about; to wander hither and thither.”

IOW, dude, our next president is the Wandering Jew.

 
 

Stag Party Palin: You are forgetting that his middle name is Hussein Al-Majlis Yassir Arafat Muhammad Ahmadinejad X.

 
 

our next president is the Wandering Jew.

He couldn’t be a wanderer. It’s long been known, if it aint Barack, don’t affix it.

 
 

I’m going to love this year.

Best wear your raincoat, however. Don’t want to get your clothes covered with the residue from all those exploding wingnut heads.

 
 

I think all the outrage over “Barack the Magic Negro” is a bit misplaced. What I find most offensive about it is how incredibly lame it is. The only good thing I can say about it is that at least the producers didn’t put a laugh track in it so that people would know it’s supposed to contain teh funny.

At least when Johnny Rebel set out to write an outrageously racist song, he aimed for the stars, and when it came time to record an outrageously racist song, he had competent musicians backing him up in the studio.

I hope it doesn’t seem as if I’m lamenting the sorry state of racist music. Racial content aside, the song is just lousy. A semi-skilled songwriter could have taken the concept of the Magic Negro and made a halfway decent song. Not only did Paul Shanklin take the low road, he copped out by occupying the middle of the road in his approach.

 
 

I hope it doesn’t seem as if I’m lamenting the sorry state of racist music.

I do believe Sadly, No! is an authority on the topic, yes.

 
 

What’s the big deal? The Reformed Aryan Church of White Butte has had a Chistianmas tradition of a “magic negro” for many years now. The church elders decide which congregant has been the biggest slacker about doctrinal matters, forces them to put on blackface makeup and then makes them run a gauntlet of the congregation, each of whom uses a big paddle to wail away on the unfortunate mock-negro. It’s sort of an airing of grievances, like Festivus, and it is followed by a spate of ritualized sodomy. I believe the Baptists share this tradition.

 
 

“… his middle name is Hussein Al-Majlis Yassir Arafat Muhammad Ahmadinejad X.”

The only person who could possibly know that is the one with the vault copy of his birth certificate. Fess up – what did you pay the API for it?

 
 

Shorter Reichwing Wanktards: N!GGER N!GGER N!GGER!

 
 

Simba,

I remember when 20/20 or Dateline or one of those shows did a report on Prussian Blue. The reporter managed to muster up a buttload of indignation over two tween girls singing racist songs, but not once in the report did she mention the obvious: I’ve picked boogers out my nose that have more talent than Lynx and Lamb Gaede. I almost feel bad for people who buy into the whole White Power/14 Words garbage… it’s gotta suck when poster children for Aryan Superiority are a couple of talentless future meth whores.

A few weeks ago, I was dicking around YouTube, searching for The Sensational Alex Harvey Band’s version of “Tomorrow Belongs To Me”. I couldn’t find SAHB’s version, but there were several versions by White Power bands (Skrewdriver, The Klansmen, Saga [the Swedish racist, not the Canadian prog rock band from the 80s]). I thought it was incredibly odd that White Supremacists would use a song written by two Jews as an anthem of Ayran purity.

 
 

I thought it was incredibly odd that White Supremacists would use a song written by two Jews as an anthem of Ayran purity.

Awareness, logic, and consistency are not really their strong suits.

 
 

Fess up – what did you pay the API for it?

Let’s just say that Chief Editor Korir and George Soros have come to a mutual understanding.

 
 

I obtained a vault copy of the vault.

 
 

In re: the relative quality of the song in question. Yes, it’s not just tastelss and offensive, it’s piss-poor satire. It’s somewhere between a down-market FM radio “morning flakes” karaoke mashup and a locally-produced car dealership’s sale advertisement using “Night Before Christmas”.

“‘Twas the night before Closeout, and all thru Bob’s Mazda Emporium…”

 
 

NEW RULE:
Any talk of “coming to a mutual understanding” MUST be followed by a link to “Shot By Both Sides”.

 
 

I think black people should not only murder white people for revenge for slavery and racism, but for the hell of it as well. In fact we had a whole set of classes in college encouraging black students to murder their white colleagues, but not enough of ’em did, I guess. We libruls are totally hypocrous.

 
 

So if banning The Truth isn’t an option, maybe we can have tripcodes? You know, a little code that identifies him (one way hash, for the technically inclined) so we can all block him again? Not that we should be getting ideas from him, but Ace has such a system, I think.

 
 

No. No you’re not.

Your an apologist for racial hatred, a direct descendant of the Ku Klux Klan, but without the personal courage to put on your sheet and take your bigotry public.

Which means you have no power here, either…

mikey

 
 

Simba’s right.

If the pathetic piece of cowardly shit feels it necessary to defeat tools implemented by people who want nothing more than to avoid his hate speak and arrogant lies, then it would be helpful if the proprietors made possible some access to a constant identifier that the little prick can’t change…

mikey

 
 

Yes Truth, we’re hypocrites. You have exposed us, we are ashamed.

Now go sodomize yourself with a chainsaw.

 
 

If this ‘Nelson’ business is an attempt on the part of the creepy stalker troll to suggest that he’s on first-name terms with DrDick, it would be more effective if DrDick were in fact called Nelson.

 
 

I think wingnuts’ brains are all entangled together

I question your underlying assumption.

 
 

All props to Smut Clyde for the Magazine video. (Though, on topic, did you notice the racism in the camera work? Not a single close-up of Barry Adamson.)

Completely OT, does any body (Smut Clyde) know where one might acquire a digital version of Howard Devoto’s solo album “Jerky Versions of the Dream”? I never even saw it on CD.

 
 

Sheesh, lighten up, liberals!

Can’t a guy make one little racist joke without being called a racist?

And the fact that some black guy someplace said to kill all the white people— well, that just totally proves my point.

 
 

If this ‘Nelson’ business is an attempt on the part of the creepy stalker troll to suggest that he’s on first-name terms with DrDick, it would be more effective if DrDick were in fact called Nelson.

Speaking of which, does this site not have a policy against revealing personal information? So…can haz ban nao plz?

 
 

The “Channon Christian” story? Dare I remind you that a man of male persuasion was also murdered, and not just a “woman”, as you clearly are misleading us to believe?

Hmph. Sexist man-hater.

 
 

The only 2 things which have ever happened were (1) a white kid getting beaten up at a Louisiana high school by some black kids, and (2) this black ex-professor low power radio dude got some applause when he said black people should kill white people because white people want to kill black people.

For some reason, I as a white person am apparently free from any fear prompted by either of these 2 events, and as such, since these are the only 2 things to have ever happened anywhere, I have never been afraid of anything again and no problems have happened anywhere from any reason.

Killfile.

 
 

Now go sodomize yourself with a chainsaw.

Preferably while immersed in a bath of boiling hydrochloric acid.

 
 

it would be more effective if DrDick were in fact called Nelson.

Especially since DrDick actually is called Dr. Dick by his nonacademic friends (Dick being his actual name and Dr. his actual title). They seem to find it amusing (admittedly so do I).

 
 

A closer reading reveals that ‘Nelson’ ? DrDick. It is in fact some sort of personal name for mikey. My bad. This is almost as humiliating as not owning a copy of “Dreamy Versions of the Jerk”.

 
 

“Mocked our Dear Leader”

Perfect example of my earlier point–thanks. They can’t think of anything bad to say about Obama, except to sneer about how popular he is. Just like the over-the top hysterics last August when massive throngs came out to hear him in Europe. It just galls Republicans to think that an American politician could actually be admired and respected–especially by foreigners.

 
 

Wha…?

Hell, I don’t get it.

Nelson who?

mikey

 
 

Neither of those instances of white people being tortured or killed ‘bother me’ any more than news of the latest gang killing or the “Santa” murderer killing his ex and kids and relatives in Covina, California. They don’t bother me any less, either. I also don’t watch Nancy Grace to see the latest news & discussion on whichever is the most recently kidnapped or murdered blond white girl.

So, again, 2 of the most unimportant events of recent history were (a) a white kid getting beat up in Jena, La, and (b) a black ex-professor suggesting that somehow black people eliminate all white people.

In particular I am completely not bothered by any number of black fruitcakes who make big talk about killing white people, unless there’s some immediate cause to think it’s an actual criminal plan rather than racial fantasy.

Little scaredy-cat chicken sh*t.

 
 

“I’m glad neither of these bother you. Willful ignorance must be a pleasant way to live.”
So…two random incidents is indicative of a widespread anti-white movement?
Where do I sign up?

 
 

Admiral Nelson? Trafalgar and all? But nah, I tend to mock squids unmercifully.

Admiral Harriman Nelson of the Seaview? Nah, another squid.

I give up. Al the Nelsons I can think of are dead admirals or imaginary admirals.

mikey

 
 

Then why did Proposition Eight pass in California?

Because the advocates lied about what it was supposed to do and how it would affect anyone besides gay people (which was, of course, not at all). Also, because outside agitators came in and did that lying, and spent massive amounts of money doing thus because, frankly, they are hateful people. And the anti-Prop 8 were rediculously disorganized. Course, it’s probably going to be ruled unconstitutional and, of course, time is on our side with this issue.

 
 

Stephen @22:01,
Marry me. (In the Usenet sense, though if I were gay and from Massachusetts I’d probably mean for serious after a post like that.)

 
 

in comments over there:

Beth Said:
3:16 pm

I’m a Latina, and was raised in a very conservative home. I have always considered myself a Republican, but recently I have felt that the GOP is pushing conservative minorities, such as myself, further and further away. Things such as “Barack the Magic Negro” and “Obama Bucks” are an embarrassment to the party and an insult to minorities. They are not only racist but are coming from GOP leaders and reps., which is completetly unacceptable.

ATTENTION GOP LEADERS AND REPRESENTATIVES: LEAVE THE RACIST JOKES AND SATIRES TO THE COMEDIANS!!

If you want the minority vote, this has to STOP! The minority vote is ever increasing and unless you want the dems. to rule from here on out, you will need to stop this non-sense.

Rick the Magic Moron updates with

Thanks to so many commenters – both present and future – who are proving the thesis of my argument so spectacularly. Not only are those calling me a racist proving their aversion to free speech but the dumbing down of the term racism by my detractors and its use to cut off debate (with the obligatory nod to the idea that defending 1st Amendment rights are what will keep Republicans out of power – which is used in lieu of any kind of intelligent answer to the points I raise) only goes to show that the mind of a liberal is extraordinarily predictable.

Simple minded sophists usually are.

 
 

The Dirty Secret About Prop Eight Passing said:
N1ggers

 
 

So, the massive amount of conservative whites (and blacks and Latinos and Asians and so on) in California who voted for Prop. 8 had no effect whatsoever were irrelevent, just the black vote (which was statistically no more significant than other races) was significant. That’s just gibberish and old gibberish at that. Ah, willful ignorance. Nothing fuels racism any better.

Say, did you ever figure out how gender could evolve? Or how McCain wound up not walking away with the landslide you predicted? Why do you think that is, anyway? The pitifulness of the McCain camp? The tired ideas or the lack of focus, or do you think it was just Obama’s black magic? I mean, it must smart to be that pitifully wrong, man.

 
 

a certain protected class of people
Bank CEOs tend to vote Democrat?

 
 

The problem Troofie is having is one of semantics.

It’s a game that wingnuts love to play. They like to create strawmen with the false equivalency of such terms as “racism” and “bigotry” as if they mean the same thing.

Simple explanation: “racism” is institutional, while “bigotry” is personal.

Or put another way, racism is a social construct, while bigotry is just someone being a single solitary asshole.

So I am more than happy to concede that the low-power radio ex-professor ranting about killing white people indicates he is a bigot. (Or a bad stand-up comedian.) Those who applauded him are likely also bigots. However, he is not representing an institutional or social construct, even if he did it at a college – unless that college agreed with and promoted him to do exactly that (which I doubt.)

Likewise, any kid who beats up another kid on the playground, with the excuse of the color of their skin, is a bigoted asshole regardless of their respective skin colors.

But in the case of, say, a white person dragging a black person to death through a Texas town behind their truck because they looked at a white woman, that is racism. It was done to create a “social goal”, which was to frighten Black people. Think of it as a kind of “terrorism”.

Similarly, when a group of White students in a redneck town hang a noose from the “White-only tree”, that is a racist act. It was meant to terrorize.

However, when a pissed-off Black student reacts by beating up on a random White kid, that is a bigoted act, committed by a single asshole out of misplaced anger. (Unless you have some other evidence of real racism, like all the Black kids at the school hanging “Kill Whitey” signs from the other trees.)

Therefore, a leader of the Republican Party who distributes a recording of a song with racial slurs directed at the President-elect as a means of furthering his political ambitions in the Party is committing a racist act, because he is officially representing the institution of the GOP and promoting his career in that institution.

On the other hand, the bigoted professor is unlikely to be able to use his bigotry as a means of obtaining a teaching position at the college.

There are some semanticists who say that “Black on White racism” is inherently impossible in the USA, because Black people do not have the institutional power – not in business, politics or academia – to be able to foment institutional bigotry (eg. racism) as policy. But I’m not sure I’d go that far myself.

 
 

Mikey, I think that sad arse Truth thinks you are Nelson Muntz, he thinks the Simpsons are real . Hah hah

 
 

Simple minded sophists usually are.

Nope. Not buyin it. NOBODY’S that stupid.

If you are gonna stand there and look me in the eye with a straight face and say you cannot even theoretically understand that the term “Magic Negro” might be racially insensitive in 2008 and that to use it to mock a black man in the United States today might honestly fall into the category of racism, or at least racial bigotry, if you are going to say that anyone who is offended by the mocking use of the phrase “Magic Negro” must be feigning outrage for nothing but political gain then you are feigning stupidity for political gain. If you do not feel that calling African Americans “Negroes” is a racial epithet, then let me ask you two things. First, why is this term not in broad usage anymore? What caused it to fall out of favor? And second, I assume you would have no problem wandering through a predominantly black urban community and using the term “Negro” repeatedly in conversations with the denizens of that community. If you are unwilling to do so, it certainly seems to me that you have undermined your primary argument…

mikey

 
 

Shoot, I don’t know who Nelson Muntz is.

Off to wikipedia with me…

mikey

 
 

Joe Max,
Sounds like some of that fancy book learnin’ one might learn in academia and, of course, no actual grown man would sully himself by using those tools to navigate this thing we call life. Therefore, black comedians making fun of the way white people dance is a million-billion-gazillion times worse than the entirety of Jim Crowe. And anyone who even dares not to see it exactly that way is the biggest hypocrit history has seen since Steven Tyler talked about never selling out.

There. I said the racist troll the afternoon. Get out of the house, man, and let go of some of that hatred. Go to the park or go see a movie or something.

 
 

Does anyone really believe that if all those black voters who flocked to the polls to vote for Obama had just stayed home, that Proposition 8 would have gone down to a resounding defeat?

Do the math, idiot.

 
 

Hm. There was a thread a few weeks ago where everyone encouraged Troofie to go put on some white robes and start yelling “nigger” on a street corner. I can’t seem to find it, my Google-fu is failing me.

Maybe we should do that again.

 
 

Poor dude, he’s scrambling around like an animal in a trap. That’s some sweaty desperation there. It’s like he’s a Neanderthal squatting at his fire when a bunch of Cro Magnon invade his territory. He can rage and flail out and spit curses, but his days are over and he knows it.

 
 

mikey,
I don’t see this guy going up to a crowd of African-Americans from any socio-economic background and saying “Howdy”, much less any of the nonsense he blithers here. You never see Klan rallys in Compton, after all. Look at his stuff, he’s terrified of black folks, but he’s mad at us for not being as full of fear and loathing.

And, for what it’s worth, I doubt he says these sorts of things to actual non-online white people he comes in contact on a day-to-day basis, either, unless he’s absolutely positive they’ll agree with him anyway.

Therefore, he won’t interact with black folk as human beings, but he will come fling poo on a liberal blog’s comments section because there’s no danger of any of us kicking his ass. Think about, how many times do you come across racist yay-hoos yammering their foolishness in a place where they might have someone shut them the fuck up? Never, that’s when, unless they’re drunk, ’cause racists are cowards. Always.

 
 

I propose, then, that we get Truth drunk and drop him off in Harlem.

 
 

There was a thread a few weeks ago where everyone encouraged Troofie to go put on some white robes and start yelling “nigger” on a street corner.

Yep. All of us of redneck, hillbilly, cracker, and generalized Southern background all strongly advised him to call every black person he saw n****r and say we said it was OK.

 
 

A tangle of buddies
A murder of Crows
A gaggle of
A pride of
etc
I ordinarily refuse to get outraged and picky but today , yes something snipped
First of all it isn’t a tango
Second it is not a knot
Third more like a sheepshank
Fourth you can slip not if you want to

 
 

I propose, then, that we get Truth drunk and drop him off in Harlem.

Nah. West side of Chicago (or Englewood) with a sign around his neck that says, “I hate N*gg*rs.”

 
Eric (an halibut)
 

Am I missing something?

Can we not ban this racist piece of dogshit?

If not, why not?

 
 

Nah. West side of Chicago (or Englewood) with a sign around his neck that says, “I hate N*gg*rs.”

I say Detroit, out on 8 Mile Rd.

He should wear another sign that says, “get a job!” They’ll appreciate that in Detroit.

 
 

Joe Max – It would have exactly the same effect.

 
 

Well, I know I’m hitting a nerve when you openly wish for violence to come to me – a typical liberal refutation!

No, that’s not it at all. We just want you to practice what you preach in such a way that you’ll actually have to deal with the consequences. I, personally, don’t want to see anyone hurt, even cowardly racist bores, but I do think you’d find the experience incredibly educational.

Have you ever done anything like that? Have you ever stood up for anything you believe in or do you just take the easier routes and fuck with folks who can’t really do anything to you?

 
 

And that link is to a bunch of folks in academia, too. What actual grown man would pay any attention to anything there?

 
 

Thanks to so many commenters – both present and future – who are proving the thesis of my argument so spectacularly. Not only are those calling me a racist proving their aversion to free speech but the dumbing down of the term racism by my detractors and its use to cut off debate (with the obligatory nod to the idea that defending 1st Amendment rights are what will keep Republicans out of power – which is used in lieu of any kind of intelligent answer to the points I raise) only goes to show that the mind of a liberal is extraordinarily predictable.

Simple minded sophists usually are.

See there’s your problem, Ricky.

You have free speech rights, not free praise rights. You get to squeal about how afraid you are and we get to tell you what a chickenshit you are.

See how that works?

Or do you somehow believe your’s is supposed to be the “Superior’ voice?

Is that what’s pissing you off, Ricky?

We’re not respecting your authority?

 
 

I propose, then, that we get Truth drunk and drop him off in Harlem.
Fabulous Furry Freak fans (and I’m looking at you, Anne Laurie) will remember the strip where a similar thing happened to Tricky Prickears.

 
 

Truth.

We agree with everything you say. You are correct, and you always will be correct. In perpetuity, amen.

Now please die.

 
 

the
black
bored
jumble
It really is tiresome to find some “Land mark” event repeated mistakenly as meaningful
Tiresome

 
 

Have you ever stood up for anything you believe in

Fuck no! He is too busy hiding under his bed pissing and shitting all over himself, lest those big scary boogey men should come get him. He has no idea what is like to march down the street lined with hateful stares, to stand up and publicly say what you believe, to put yourself out on the line and take chances to make the world a better place. Absolutely. Useless. Piece. of. Shit.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

And there’s killfile #29.

 
Teh Great Gazoogle
 

Results 1 – 10 of about 17 from http://www.sadlyno.com for “black thugs”. (0.35 seconds)
Obsess much?

Sponsored Links:
Gay Black Thugs – Free
Meet Black Gay Thugs Near You.
View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!
http://www.GayThugDating.com

 
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism
 

Okay, let’s assume that the story about the janitor in Indiana being censored for reading a non-racist history book actually took place… which is sort of hypothetical, since wingnuts often insist on mythical incidents as being factual.

Who says that “liberals” or ‘the left” agree with the university’s decision? This leftist liberal certainly doesn’t.

As for The Goof’s pitiful cries of “Boo hoo, those mean liberals made jokes about me being hurt”… all I can say is, suck it up, princess… you come to a leftwing humor site, WTF did you expect?

 
 

William Buckley was careful about his walkabouts . Saint Buckley was widely disliked by his contemporaries . At least those who could be bothered to raise an eyebrow with his weak dissembling knew who he was before the wine turned .

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Entertainingly, he’s the only one on my list, I’m wagering. Rugged become too much of a parody to actually be offensive, Gary’s just a puppet for anyone to utilize, and annieangel and shoelimpy don’t actually exist. So everyone else is Truth.

Well, I killfiled most of the malfunctioning character comments, since they’re just tedious and overlong, but hey, whatever.

 
 

Barack the Magic Negro is “brilliant satire… good political humor… no more objectionable than Jonathon Swift or George Orwell.”

Of course.

Speaking of brilliant conservative satire, the cinematic blockbuster An American Carol will be released on DVD in just two days. Buy a copy before they run out.

 
 

Poor Troofie. So locked into his adolescent fantasies and filled with hate for minorities and academics. Probably shatter his world to find out I am actually a reasonably popular professor and that my ethnicity and gender classes fill up pretty quickly (gender filled in a week). Probably can’t grasp that I worked my way through college and graduate school with a whole series of really shitty jobs that paid the rent and tuition and books or that I worked my way through graduate school as a single father. It would shock him to learn that most of my friends are not academics, but include a range of professionals and blue collar folks.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

And killfile #30.

 
 

By the way, why are you people arguing with Twoof? Ignore the idiot.

 
 

Just as I’m sure the story about the little heart patient hunted down because of his race was new to most of you too.

No, it wasn’t, because you brought it up several weeks ago yourself, you worthless tub of retarded donkey shit.

 
 

No, it wasn’t, because you brought it up several weeks ago yourself, you worthless tub of retarded donkey shit.

Hell, he’s been humping the leg of that bookstore owner that got the round of stunned golf claps at a university in North Carolina since, what, June or so. Only thing the boy doesn’t recycle anymore is the Michelle Obama “hates Whitey” nonsense. Bet he checks the AIP site every day, though.

 
 

How pathetic do you have to be to KNOW you have to keep changing your name every time you post a comment in order to try to trick people who think you’re a loathsome idiot into reading your stupid shit.

You gotta have the self esteem of a dung beetle to keep doing that…

mikey

 
 

Just out of curiosity, has anyone tried e-mailing the proprietors directly concerning a ban? It’s possible that they would be willing to at least listen to us, but with the holidays and all they may not be checking comments religiously.

 
 

You gotta have the self esteem of a dung beetle to keep doing that…

You are being far too generous here.

 
 

We are insulted, and will never visit this site again.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Hurm, y’know, the nicest part is that he’s actually beginning to vanish when I killfile him. Currently, of the several times I’ve blotted him out of my sight (and temporarily replaced him with badgers), only one comment is still on my screen to be autopsied.

The others are gone, just like my herpes!

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

aw, but now I have to killfile #31. Hope that file doesn’t get too full, the holiday weight might kill it. Happened to my great-aunt, y’know.

 
 

I’ve decided to name my pussy after the great Nelson

 
 

Aww, the brave little soldier. Chin up, young man, I’m sure there’s a White Power website who’ll take you in. They won’t even care you don’t have the guts to actually face up to anything that might bite back, they’re all simpatico.

 
 

So many people are paying attention to ME ME ME!!!
I AM a somebody!!!!

 
 

but now I have to killfile #31

I am not even bothering with all these silly aliases. He is never going to use the same one twice and I have already started reading the post before I can ban it. Just skip over it and go on.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Oh, I dunno. He’s still pretty obvious with his pseudonyms, so I never have to go much further than the (kill) right under it.

It’s like when the Nazis show up, and all their pseudonyms are “aryanzionistnazipower007”. You don’t need to read the post to know what’s coming.

 
 

Trull–go poop and see if Jeff Goldblum watches you poop. Then you’ll know you’re important. Ahhh, Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop. Right in time for universal armageddon.

 
 

You don’t need to read the post to know what’s coming.

Unfortunately, his aliases are getting ever closer to the ones we use to make fun of him.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

True. Sometimes it’s a crapshoot. Like when someone puppets Gary to say something disgusting. I wouldn’t dream of blocking “Gary Ruppert” because sometimes the best jokes come out of it. On the other hand, sometimes I have to deal with something straight out of Stormfront.

The basic relief of being zero-tolerance on Truth and Truth-like facsimiles is that even the joke-versions are boring as shit to a statistically significant degree. So no missing out on anything.

 
 

Um, someone’s in here deleting comments. What happened to the “Yes, Let’s Ban The Truth” comment that was here a few minutes ago?

 
 

Simba, I have always found the proprietors to be very welcoming of direct communication. Although it’s important to note I’ll email anybody, up to and including vladamir putin, kim jong il and the pope, so maybe I’m a tad delusional about it.

They’re very hardcore about the no-ban policy, but we did have a lively debate during the annieangel wars. Back when we fought from trenches with onions tied to our belts. But I digress.

You very much should email them about your feelings. You should also, in said emails, explain your scheme for making available enough data to killfile someone who keeps changing their screen name.

And you should also send me three pot brownies. Why? Well, um, ’cause I want three pot brownies?

mikey

 
 

Hey, pot brownies. I don’t know if I want three, though. Last time I ate three pot brownies, I wound up talking to David Hood about the Time Wave Zero event in 2012 and how I think Elvis fits into the immanent eschaton. Then I decided I’d better go home.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Last time I ate three pot brownies, I wound up talking to David Hood about the Time Wave Zero event in 2012 and how I think Elvis fits into the immanent eschaton.

Pfft, you need *pot* to do that? I can do that straight and sober as a very sober bird in a dry county.

 
 

Truth, middle-class white males who complain about persecution in the USA are the biggest, dumbest whiney-ass titty babies in the entire universe.

I called you the Creed of trolls in another thread. I hereby tender my apology to Creed. Even they do not deserve to be compared to such an odious pustule on the anus of civilized society.

 
 

How pathetic do you have to be to KNOW you have to keep changing your name every time you post a comment in order to try to trick people who think you’re a loathsome idiot into reading your stupid shit.

The worst infestation I ever saw was on the New York Times religion discussion board, late 2002. One asswipe, hundreds of nyms. And there were people there defending his right to free speech.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

I say we discard both topics and continue on this “supposed” requirement of pot brownies to talk about the Immanent Elvischaton. I suppose I’m meant to believe people don’t talk about the Patterson film’s buttock shot sober either?

Humbug!

 
 

I never said it required pot brownies. Pot brownies are never “required”. They just make life better in every way. I, however, am just more prone to talk about how dead rock & roll singers will lead us into a new age in a couple years after consuming three or more. Had it been mushrooms, I would’ve probably talked about Elvis’ movies echoed Joseph Campbell’s “path of the hero”, or will once the electromagnetic waves from the last 50 years worth of television and radio hit the first extraterrestial civilization.

 
 

Wow.

I just find that a dense greenish pot brownie keeps me from wanting to blow shit up for a couple days.

Good for “Regularity” too, if’n y’know what I mean…

mikey

 
 

The real problem that you libruls won’t admit is the cruelty and disrespect faced by our Confederate-American population. Every time they try to honor their proud heritage of waging war against the union in defense of slavery and general backwardness, they have to live in fear of some black ex-professor saying he wants to kill white people. If it were up to you hypocrites, our Confederate-Americans would just slink around in secret and communicate entirely by semaphore codes in their Confederate Battle Flag tattoos.

 
 

Anyone else make the mistake of clicking through Troofie’s link to that allegedly freedom- and constitution-loving, apolitical blog? The top post on how we need laws to punish whole communities where riots take place (guilt by proximity?) is just priceless.

As for the apparent ban, well… it was fun watching you guys kick around that failed Nazi experiment in artificial stupidity, but it gets repetitive after a while. There’s only so much mockery you can fling at that supersaturated solution of stupid and evil before some of us start losing too many brain cells to keep up with our drinking duties.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

El Cid:

And their clever secret code of copyright-infringed Calvins peeing on stuff they don’t like.

Oh yeah, I cracked the code!

You’re not fooling anybody with that Kerry/Edward ’04 sticker on your pickup, fella, I know why the Calvin pees, it pees for thee.

 
 

mikey,
Yeah, that’s mostly what they’re good for: soothing the burning rage that comes with having a brain (which inevitably leads to awareness of how fucked up shit is). Or, alternately, soothing the burning pain that comes with an incurable nerve disorder. If I want to get stoned qua stoned, I just smoke.

And Matt T.,
Obviously pot brownies aren’t required. There’s always tequilajuana.

 
 

laws to punish whole communities where riots take place (guilt by proximity

Apparently, they have laws like that in Israel. Launch a bunch of amateur rockets and mortars that fall mostly harmlessly in the wilderness, and the biblical response is to kill hundreds of people at random and hold an entire nation of refugees at risk for the actions of a few hundred criminals.

Oh sure, here we call that murder, and war crimes, but there? I think they got a note from yaweh or something…

mikey

 
 

middle-class white males who complain about persecution in the USA are the biggest, dumbest whiney-ass titty babies in the entire universe.

Can I have that on a T-shirt? Or would the always politically-correct conservatives get their panties in a twist?

 
 

I’m starting to watch this 2007 BBC Four series “Racism: A History”, and so far they’re just whining about the Spanish working Indians to death in the New World, and the start of the Portuguese launching the sugar production industry with African slaves.

Over 11 minutes into a series about the history of racism, and there’s nothing about some ex-professor on C-Span. What sort of fake documentary is this? There’s nothing about the discrimination against the Scots-Irish by Harvard University. Nothing. What a joke.

 
 

Apparently, they have laws like that in Israel.

Sadly, yes. I despair for the children of Abraham. Fortunately I am a child of Woden and of Totka Hiliswa.

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

Had it been mushrooms, I would’ve probably talked about Elvis’ movies echoed Joseph Campbell’s “path of the hero”, or will once the electromagnetic waves from the last 50 years worth of television and radio hit the first extraterrestial civilization.

Nuh-uh. Mushrooms don’t let you talk about anything, you just spend eternity staring at the diamond white flames surrounding the stag-angel-god as it downloads space music into your elven breathing apparatus with the help of a 10th dimension chrome praying mantis.

 
 

I must respectfully disagree with the senator from Montana. Last time I did shrooms, I woke up one of my flatters at 3AM and ranted to him for damn near four hours about everything from the fundamentally recursive nature of existence and the impossibility of self-aware “genuineness” in ones actions, to the self-evident (at the time) fact that the “ed” at the end of a past-tense verb should be fully pronounced and not abbreviated to “‘t” or “‘d”.

 
 

Hey, justify.

Just shut up and give me a pot brownie, you dick…

mikey

 
 

So here’s something for ya, DrDick—

My partner and I had a roommate this past summer, and I’ll confess I don’t like the guy (anymore). It probably didn’t help that he was my partner’s ex’s new boyfriend, and well, I’m just kinda glad that whole thing is over now. Anyhoo, he has his masters’ in anthropology or something like that and is going for his Ph.D. For someone of his educational background, he says some rather racist, classist, etc. sorts of things. I have this theory that he just says those things because he enjoys being a dick, but one of the things he said that stuck with me was that the native tribes who were native to New York State and the eastern U.S. in general were not “real” civilizations, implying that those from the Southwest were. He is from that area (L.A.—and he talks like a fucking valley girl) and wants to go back, so I suppose he’s biased. But yeah, since your area of interest is the exact opposite, I thought you might enjoy that story.

 
 

To Whom It May Concern,

Please excuse my children from basic standards of civilization and human decency. As a parent, it is my right to raise my children as I see fit, and the school curriculum regarding so-called “war crimes” and “genocide” runs counter to these teachings. Therefore, I request that Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin be excused from said curriculum and related rules of conduct.

Sincerely,

Yahweh

 
 

You libruls say nothing about the fact that one of my neighbors was murdered two years ago. Murdered. Despite being innocent, elderly, kind white folk. This is your Obama legacy. Hrmph. Libruls.

 
 

I don’t understand why the Israelis have to bomb locations in Gaza. Can’t they just touch Hamas members on the inner portions of their thigh so as to cripple them and rename them “Israel” while simultaneously making their meat forbidden?

 
 

If “Slapfight Fan” is not Truth (as I suspect) then—no, not trying to start a slap or any kind of fight, for the record. Just an amusing anecdote, or so I thought.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

So, when I was young, maybe 8-11, I was a funny looking white kid, and pretty small for my age. No heart problems, but I had bronchial asthma pretty bad.

When going to school, I was beaten up by a bunch of larger, older white kids who as their sole justification for beating me up was because I was funny looking and smaller than them.

The clear anecdote from this is that white people are monsters and that someone needs to put a stop to them and their kind before they kill somebody.

Or, y’know, something about how children are bastards and pick on the weak and small because they can.

But hey, why make it an issue of strength and power when we can boil it down into a justification for racists to continue acting racist? After all, that bigotry won’t go supporting itself.

(Yes, it will.)

(Shut up, you.)

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

Last time I did shrooms, I woke up one of my flatters at 3AM and ranted to him for damn near four hours

As a rough guide, you can tell you haven’t eaten enough of ’em if your mouth still forms coherent sounds. Once, I found myself accidently making pelican-like sounds, which was a big mistake (suddenly, the room was filled with the rabid beasties). Just remember, when you feel like a clam that has lost his shell, you’ve gotten the amount just right.

 
 

Just shut up and give me a pot brownie, you dick…

That’s his problem, he ain’t got one.

 
 

off topic…

Please do not delete or chase off THE TRUTH!!! or any other troll. I like’em and you should too. Read, respond with whatever you’d like, and move on. This gives you perspective on their logic and arguments. Learn to deal.

 
 

It’s the blacks what are at fault for making all the penises of the mighty Scots-Irish too small. It is not fair and you liberals don’t do anything about it except kill young heart patients.

 
 

Just remember, when you feel like a clam that has lost his shell, you’ve gotten the amount just right.

Damn.

That’s insightful….

mikey

 
 

I thought you might enjoy that story

Enjoy is not exactly the word I would choose. Unfortunately, your guest is a total asshat. We do have a few of those in the field, but fortunately they are not overly abundant. Just to set the record straight, the Indian societies of the Southeast at the time of contact were probably the largest, most powerful, and most complex north of Mexico (think the backwoods poor cousins of the Aztecs and you would not be far off). Spanish report populations in the hundreds of thousands and hereditary kings/chiefs (there is currently an argument over which they were – I favor the former) who built massive earthen pyramids.

 
DRUGGED IN MONTANA
 

Damn.

That’s insightful….

I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

 
 

Oh, but you libruls get all impressed about piles of dirt when it’s from Southeastern Indian civilizations from a thousand years ago, but you aren’t impressed by the piles of dirt and junk amassed by the mighty Scots-Irish in our backyards.

 
 

As a rough guide, you can tell you haven’t eaten enough of ‘em if your mouth still forms coherent sounds.

Well, yeah. I coulda used more. But I have a very narrow dose range between “not enough” and “psychedelic blackouts I regain awareness from two miles away and 15 feet up in the air spooning with a tree.” Part of why I prefer acid.

Though now that I read my description of “too much” I realize that it’s probably really “just right.”

 
 

“The Tr-oaf” keeps coming up with these ridiculous stories. A while ago he had one about white teenagers being mugged by black teenagers in Chicago in 2006. The cop quoted in the article said “maybe a racial element” was involved, but he didn’t say definitely, and there was no followup story. “The Tr-oaf” keeps claiming these stories are not just true, but completely accurate and without dispute. I just looked for “13 year old heart patient mugged”. Couldn’t find it. Don’t know if its real and I just couldn’t find it, or he’s exaggerated the story (shocker), or whatever. I think he’s a lying shitbag.

 
 

I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

I think we were talking about how you were gonna share those brownies with us.

 
 

As a rough guide, you can tell you haven’t eaten enough of ‘em if your mouth still forms coherent sounds.

Christ, that’s a terrifying thought. I’ve taken heroic amounts of mushrooms a number of times and never had any trouble talking. I don’t know what that says about either my loquacity or my fortitude, but I probably need to cut back on something.

 
 

Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that I agreed with him. You are, however, correct in your characterization of him.

 
 

Matt.

You and I need to go to Phuket beach and eat unlimited mushooms just to understand the challenges…

mikey

 
DRUGGED IN MONTANA
 

I’ve taken heroic amounts of mushrooms a number of times and never had any trouble talking

That’s a different mushroom.

 
 

Simba B – Didn’t think you did, just providing a bit of facts to counter his BS. The Southeast and Southwest are the two major cultural florescences in what is now the US. NW Coast is also a secondary center.

 
 

In New Zealand the mushrooms grow right in the foothills of Mt Aoraki. Beat that for background scenery.
I intend to use the argumentum ad bibendum in any future engagements with the creepy stalker troll.

 
DRUGGED IN MONTANA
 

In New Zealand the mushrooms grow right in the foothills of Mt Aoraki. Beat that for background scenery.

There’s no scenery where I pick mine, just a forest so black that you need to use a flashlight at mid-day.

 
 

Actually, Matt, the real test is whether people not on shrooms can understand you. When I’ve done shrooms with other people, we never have any trouble understanding ourselves or each other, but sober people seem to have a problem with this. And I’ve been on the other end of that equation whilst trip-sitting and grudgingly have to agree with the squares. I think it’s like Modern Drunkard Magazine‘s rule: “If you think you’re slurring a little, you’re slurring a lot. If you think you’re slurring a lot, you’re not speaking English.”

Nonetheless, I salute your heroism.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

And again, my point. If *both* parties in this incident had been white, and they just beat him up for looking goofy and weak, would you give a shit, or just disregard it as kids being fuckers to one another?

Well?

 
 

Well, duh, black kids beat up on a white kid, that’s just got to be racist. And if black kids are beating up on white kids anywhere, anytime, then whatever the wannabe chairman of the RNC chooses to send out to his pals, even if it is titled “Barack the Magic Negro,” simply can not in any way shape or form be construed as being racist. Because of those black kids beating up a white kid somewhere.

It all cancels out. Neat.

 
 

You f***ing worthless piece of sh*t f***. The f***ing article you link to has the god damn 3 black kids who beat this poor kid up god damned charged and sentence. What the f***? What the f*** are “liberals” supposed to do? Shoot them? Protest that they weren’t given the death sentence, you know, being black and all? ‘Cause somehow 7 f***ing years in a regular prison is a sign that the Librul Establishment has favored you in your attempt to murder some kid? God but you’re a f***ing pathetic needle dick f***ing racist f*** stain.

 
 

mikey,
Why the hell not. I’ve not got anything planned for the next few decades.

That’s a different mushroom.

You mean there are other kinds? Oh, boy.

RyRy Cooter,
Actually, I don’t get anymore incomprehensible on shrooms. I just loose my filters, which means, of course, I spend way too much time think about Elvis in a philosophical context. What I get for going to college.

 
 

El Cid – Don’t hold back now.

 
 

All those astericks have given me the vapors.

 
 

Here, kitty.

 
 

**Ga*p**

mikey

 
 

Damn, Matt, you are one articulate motherfucker then. And clearly you should have majored in sociology of rock&roll — you could have written all your papers shroomed out of your skull. (A friend of mine who majored in philosophy actually spent most of a year going to class on acid. Graduated with honors.)

 
 

What a god damned useless piece of shit racist coward. Fuck stain has been fucking around here for fucking ever ranting about some poor kid beaten up by black kids and this is proof of liberal hypocrisy. Only the 3 fuckers were caught, charged, and sentenced to prison or juvenile detention. ‘Cause Mr. Piece of God Damned Shit not only doesn’t know what hypocrisy is, he doesn’t give a shit, either, he just has to waste a lot of fucking space whining like the god damn cowardly needle dick he is about how his poor tiny white penis is truly being threatened by all these black adolescents threatening to beat somebody up.

 
 

whining like the god damn cowardly needle dick he is about how his poor tiny white penis is truly being threatened

I think a black guy stole his girlfriend once because his dick was so small. Probably a black college professor.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

I think he’s just an asshole, and doesn’t actually have any reason for what he does except it pisses people off.

Think I might be the one proven right, too.

 
 

Leon Trotsky – you may have a point there.

 
 

El Cid,
Calm down. Eat a brownie.

There. All better now?

 
 

The good Doctor is probably right about his penis size however.

 
 

See Truth? We can be assholes too. I’m stuck at my parents’ house 500 miles away from home and I want to go home to a warm bed and a loving partner. So I’m going to take my frustration out on you, because I can’t think of a more deserving target.

Oh, by the way, not that you’d know this from personal experience—but one of the best things in the world to experience is walking indoors from 20F temperatures and wrapping yourself around the warm body of a loved one. Preferably under a blanket. Imagine how that would feel. In real life, it feels about 50x better.

 
 

B-b-b-b-b-but Kambau Kombobreaker said he wanted to kill all the crackers and that means liberals are fags!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Have I told you recently that the new president of the United States is BLACK!!!!! Blackity-black-black-balckity-blackity BLACK!!!!!11!! Ooooga boooga booo!

 
 

Now that Rick Moran has clarified what is appropriate satire, I doubt he’ll find the parody I just wrote objectionable.

It’s called Krauthammer The Limp Dick Jew.

 
 

Wait, Krathammer has a dick??!!

 
 

No, he is a limp dick.

 
 

RyRy Cooter,
Actually, I minored in sociology (and philosophy) and wrote a number of papers that used music or the music business as source material. That’s a little scary.

 
 

I have never seen so many niggerlovers in one place! Susan, do you like black dobbers. So must. So keep on sucking them black dobbers, and see what ya get. Nothing

 
 

I suppose you guys don’t know that Obama’s lawyer owns his house? It’s got a wingnut sub-group all stirred up and doing a pee pee dance.

http://ginacobb.typepad.com/gina_cobb/2008/12/obamas-house-is-owned-by-rezkos-lawyer.html

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

Oh good, the actual Nazis are here.

 
 

Oh well, I guess there are just too many white Southern Baptist leaders whose churches have failed, depriving them of opportunities for child molestation, so they or their aides come here whining about how frightened they are of those manly black teens and their violent cocks.

 
 

jehosaphat X seems obsessed with black cock.

Interesting, that.

 
 

If you think you’re slurring a little, you’re slurring a lot. If you think you’re slurring a lot, you’re not speaking English.
My experience is that when I think I’m slurring a lot, I’m actually speaking German. At any rate, last time this happened when I was on holiday in Frankfurt, the waiters clearly understood what I was saying because they kept bringing me beer.

 
 

Records from the Cook County Treasurer’s Office give the PIN number for the Obama property as 20-11-115-037-0000 and list Miceli as the person who receives Obama’s property tax invoice by mail.

Holy shit. Raise the scandal flag! We got us a n*gger Preznit who’s got a damn lawyer! I’ve been told by my #1 Confederate Scots-Irish adviser that black people aren’t allowed to have lawyers and whatnot handle tax and property type transactions, they are required to either do it their damn selves or use enchanted talking swamp frogs.

 
 

What a coincidence. jehosaphat X is Latin for Glenn Reynolds.

 
 

black people aren’t allowed to have lawyers

Hell, when I was growing up in Oklahoma, they wasn’t never allowed no lawyers never. Had to do it they own selves and take their licks.

 
 

Gina Cobb? Gina Cobb? Where have I heard that name before?

 
 

A friend of mine who majored in philosophy actually spent most of a year going to class on acid. Graduated with honors.

Tripping my head off in a classroom would be pretty close to my idea of hell.

 
 

“Dobbers”? Don’t believe I’ve heard that one. The Urban Dictionary lists it as either a powerful yet nevertheless unidentified psychoactive drug, which sounds like fun, or slang for female breasts, which does too, to be totally honest. There’s also a slang dictionary entry that says a “dobber” is one who “dobs”, that is, snitches to the authorities, which doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

Still. I think folks just put totally made up shit in the UD, so I don’t know if I’ll take this jehosaphatX character seriously at all.

 
 

From a couple hours ago:

Please do not delete or chase off THE TRUTH!!! or any other troll. I like’em and you should too. Read, respond with whatever you’d like, and move on. This gives you perspective on their logic and arguments.

Oh, bullshit.

Look, if you’re opposed to banning the asshole, that’s fine. I’m ambivalent about it myself. But claiming that reading trolls “gives you perspective on (conservatives’) logic and arguments”?!?! Gimme a fucking break. Like most of the long-term Sadly, No trolls I’ve seen, Twoof is an obsessive neurotic who comes here because he gets off on annoying people. The politics is just a tool for stirring the shit – he’ll say whatever he thinks is likely to piss someone off.

 
 

on their logic and arguments.

Logic??? Arguments???!!! From Troofie???!!!

You have got to be kidding me. Troofie just pops in, squats, and deposits a big old steaming pile. No argument, no facts, and, god forbid, no fucking logic.

 
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico
 

As you can see, just an asshole.

 
 

A simple, logical argument:

History? What’s that?

 
 

History? What’s that?

Now don’t go asking Troofie all those kinds of hard questions or you’ll make his tiny little brain overheat and his head will explode.

 
 

So this lying shitbag, The Tr-oaf, is comparing some criminals who were caught and convicted with systematic long term victimization of millions and calling it all even. But he doesn’t mention the West Virginia woman that someone here linked (I read it and lost it, as usual). I understand that many here are getting tired of this pointless measuring of real people’s tragedies. I have to agree with owlbear’s assessment; “fuck off you little coward.”

and put down that mushroom, you don’t know where its psilocybin.

 
 

doesn’t mention the West Virginia woman that someone here linked

That was me in the thread prior to this.

 
 

the waiters clearly understood what I was saying because they kept bringing me beer.

I think more likely it’s because you were in Frankfurt. In all seriousness, I don’t think that’s all that uncommon. I know a lot of people who start speaking in second or third languages when really drunk. Hell, I’ve been told I’ve spoken entirely in Yiddish and Hebrew (or Spanish) while blacked out, which is strange, because the best I can muster in any of those languages while sober is a rusty vocabulary and an untenably slow understanding of the syntax.

Matt T.,

That is scary. I’ve sometimes wondered if my astronomy major is really just an excuse to go to class and do my work trashed. My, er, highest GPA semester so far was the one when I finally gave up on separating work and play and went to class sober all of one day — which prompted my professors to think I was on something because I was so off my game.

Snoghagen,

Yeah, I’m as baffled as you are.

Simba,

I’ve noticed that about Troofie, too. I’m starting to think he just needs to suck some pure Alabama Blacksnake and get it out of his system.

 
Andrew A. Gill, SLS
 

OK. Here’s the deal.

“Magic Negro” is a term for a particular type of stereotype about black people. It is prima facie racist. Just ask Spike Lee, who brought the term into popular usage.

A bunch of white people have a problem, and the Magic Negro comes and solves it. Uncle Remus, the guy from The Shining, the guy from The Green Mile, Bagger Vance…

Now, Negro itself isn’t necessarily inherently offensive. The United Negro College Fund, for example. You could say that Blacky McBlackenstein is a scary black negro who is evil because he’s black–and a Negro. For the purposes of this argument, that’s not necessarily racist. I’d probably ask you some questions if you said that and it would take a lot to convince me that that’s not racist, but Magic Negro does not require similar thought.

It’s simply a term for a particular type of racist stereotype. It’s used either to label a racist stereotype or to to be racist.

 
 

I don’t have a position on banning racist trolls, it’s up to the proprietors. But when the troll morphs multiple times, then it’s time for some cleanin’ up. KF-evading trolls were a staple of Usenet, and we don’t get the tools (KF by IP addy) here that we do/did over there. Ergo, it’s a responsible course for the proprietors to ban any constantly morphing trolls.

 
 

I see people complaining about Truthy, but I don’t see the little pinhead himself. Has the hammer come down? Is he finally gone for good?

 
 

I know a lot of people who start speaking in second or third languages when really drunk.
In the interests of full disclosure, I should admit that I learned some German when I was young, since my grandmother — from the old country — insisted on teaching me a basic lexicon of unspeakably foul German oaths, in case I ever encountered anyone who’d once belonged to the SS. This means that (1) I will probably never be granted an audience with the Panzerpope; and (2) I can’t afford to get completely drunk when in Germany, in case of ill-timed flashbacks to that early vocabulary.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Funny how nobody has mentioned the real elefante en el cuarto. “Barack the Magic Negro” is not as problematic for the RNC as “The Star Spanglish Banner” (no doubt sung in a Speedy Gonzalez pidgin). The GOP lost the black vote decades ago, but the pundits always insisted that the Latino vote was up for grabs.

Hell, Lou Dobbers (couldn’t resist) and Pat “America’s Racist Uncle” Buchanan could go on CNN and sing a duet of “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom”, and it wouldn’t convince a single Latino to vote Republican.

 
 

My experience is that when I think I’m slurring a lot, I’m actually speaking German.

Ooh, that’s weird, given that German has all those tricky glottal catches and 17-syllable words. I tend to speak Japanese, which has far more vowels and is a lot easier on the throat.

And I’ve noticed that the shithead Troll seems to have been erased from the page of history. Bit of a pity, because I was looking forward to slapping down the pathetic wankstain, but overall much nicer: he’s a boring, ignorant tosspot and we’re better off without him.

 
 

Now you’ll all realize that ignorance is bliss. Or freedom. Or whatever it was.

 
 

As far as “redefining the Party” goes, I think this CD will do wonders. Er, HAS done wonders. Can we now say that the “bitter” comments were in fact a statement rather than opinion?

 
 

Uncle Remus, the guy from The Shining, the guy from The Green Mile…

With regard to Scatman Crothers in The Shining – how exactly does getting an axe in the chest solve anyone else’s problem?

Well, OK, technically he does posthumously save the surviving Torrences by having brought the only working Snowcat to the hotel. But I’d say he’s better described as an example of the ‘sacrificial negro’ who dies in order to save the film’s white stars, and it’s a phenomenon that’s so common in Hollywood movies that it’ll probably take you about three seconds to think of an example of your own.

 
 

Assclowns of the Week #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition is up.

Roastin’ with the chestnuts: George W. Bush, SEC Chairman Chris Cox, Chip Saltsman, Ann Coulter and much, much more. Happy New Years.

 
 

Axes to the chest are symbolic of helping whitey. Where have you been?

 
 

Axes to the chest are symbolic of helping whitey. Where have you been?

Well, maybe they were in the 70s. In the 90s it was all about saying “I don’t… know how much longer… I can hold this” and then dropping an oversized model of an advanced computer circuit onto an explosives detonator with your last breath.

 
 

(Just remembered The Shining is early 80s. Minus movie nerd points for me.)

 
 

Kiki—oddly enough, I did almost mention good old Joe Morton as Miles Dyson there. Of course, now he’s been a political candidate on House, so that’s the 00s for you. Where does Undercover Brother come in though?

P.S. thanks for the levity. In my line of online work you can imagine the festive attitude over dead Palestinians and how nauseous I now am……So on with Brothers from Another Planet!

 
 

Well, there’s always a sacrificial character. In Hayes Code days, it was the person who repented of their crimes and was able to die with dignity.

There’s the wise black cop on the verge of retirement when I was growing up. Don’t know how Danny Glover survived four movies that way… things have changed.

In this house, we quote Dave Chappelle on Jurrassic Park:

“You fix the generator, black man. There’s dinososaurs out there!”

 
 

“You fix the generator, black man. There’s dinososaurs out there!”

Now in fairness to Samuel L, the raptors don’t like dark meat much.

 
 

WereBear – that’s funny. Other examples of such fourth-wall-breaking include Michael Moore’s Canadian Bacon, in which a black character makes reference to poor ol’ Scatman in order to highlight the limited life expectancy of African-Americans in such cinematic adventures, and Deep Blue Sea, in which LL Cool J’s character makes a similar point; in the latter example the director/writers play on this to produce a genuine surprise by having LL survive and the pretty white woman become shark fodder. And then there’s Starship Troopers, where Verhoven pointedly hurls every non-white character into the meat grinder before closing on the grinning Aryan teens skipping off into the sunset.

An interesting counter-example is The Matrix, which presents a ‘sacrificial white guy’ but obviously with more of a ‘white Jesus’ angle. The majority of the supporting cast (among the good guys at any rate) and the population of Zion consists of non-white people, and it is these people that Neo sacrifices himself to save. The starkest difference is in the way that while the ‘sacrificial negroes’ are mourned only very briefly (or, in the case of a grim piece of work like The Shining, not at all) in their movies, Keanu is of course borne aloft by fleets of technological angels and remembered for all time as the saviour of the human race.

Melvin Van Peebles’ Classified X is a good documentary about this sort of thing. Or you can sum it up in Chuck D’s line “First they’re guilty, now they’re gone”, but perhaps with the addendum “Now they’re back – to save the white guy”.

Lex: no charge for the levity. Gates of Vienna, eh? Happy motherfuckin’ Christmas.

 
 

Yep, there’s the Undercover Brother. NEVER forget Undercover Brother. Or “Black Man’s Kryptonite”.

 
 

Now in fairness to Samuel L, the raptors don’t like dark meat much.

Well, they did spit his arm out, but I think we’re meant to assume they enjoyed the rest…

 
 

With regard to Scatman Crothers in The Shining – how exactly does getting an axe in the chest solve anyone else’s problem?

It solves the studio execs’ problem by satisfying an audience that would be uncomfortable with the book’s ending. Teh scary black man forms a familial bond with teh white lady and her son. He basically adopts both of them, but try explaining that on film in the 1980’s.

 
 

Aha. Didn’t know that, as I never managed to finish reading the book…

 
 

Howard Devotos “Jerky Versions…” is available on what.cd (membership required, though).

 
 

I just had the most interesting romp through the garden with Fluffy, Precious, Mittens, Puff-puff, Tiger, Leo, Jinx and Cringer.

Now I’m refreshed and ready for a new post.

 
 

Thank you Teaflax! Will go check it out.

 
 

Well, they did spit his arm out, but I think we’re meant to assume they enjoyed the rest…

If I’m on the road and really hungry, I may have my mind set for a luscious turkey banquet, but if McDonald’s is the only restaurant in sight, I’m buying a Big Mac. 😉

 
 

I would like to see SN commenters square off with wonkette commenters in a wankoff. . .man that would be surreal. . .

 
 

I’m pretty sure serj! is trolling but that would actually be fun to see.

 
 

I believe SN! commenters would finish wanking first.

 
 

I would like to see SN commenters square off with wonkette commenters in a wankoff. . .man that would be surreal. . .

Two different atmospheres, to be honest. The Wonketters wouldn’t stand a chance because there’s no delay in posting here, so you have to be quicker.

I say that as a regular poster on both sites, with no knock on the brand of humour at either.

 
 

it’s a phenomenon that’s so common in Hollywood movies that it’ll probably take you about three seconds to think of an example of your own.

There’s an odd sci-fi novel called Sewer, Gas and Electric by Matt Ruff in which one of the major features of the near-future earth is based on a similar idea. Ruff points to a different stereotype of black people in the movies, the Amusing Black Man. He noticed that, for some reason, Die Hard had five Amusing Black Men in it, where most movies limit themselves to one. He decided to exaggerate that to the point that in his book, nearly all black people on earth have been killed by a pandemic and replaced with Stepin Fetchit-like robots.

The book also gives Ayn Rand a bunch of shit. There’s an essay by the author here about the book, for those interested.

 
 

I used to go to a second-run theatre that’d let you in to watch three movies in a row for $2.50. One time one of the movies was Predator II. I missed the opening credits and it took about a half-hour for me to embrace the idea that Danny Glover was not going to die and that he was, in fact, the star of the movie.

 
 

Simba B said,

December 29, 2008 at 19:47

I’m pretty sure serj! is trolling but that would actually be fun to see.

Hey like Nixon said “I am not a troll”, I’m just a snark-impaired thing that is envious of you all witty ass bastards (oh wait that sounds trollish too, oh shit and I write for a living but I’m sorry good snark is hard though!)

 
 

IMDB.com said,

Liar. You are not IMDB.com!

 
 

You, sir, are no database.

 
 

Once again I ask said,

December 29, 2008 at 21:24

Serj,

Please point to one post that you think is funny or witty. Kthnxbai.
_______________________________________________________

See like I said good snark is fucking hard!!!

 
 

Die Hard had five Amusing Black Men in it, where most movies limit themselves to one.

There was Al the cop, the limo driver, the tech hoodlum…who were the last two?

The Die Hard series has had surviving black sidekicks in three of the four. I wonder why Willis got all racist in the last one? I mean, unless you want to count the swarthy FBI agent or Tuvok, I mean, the DHS dude.

 
 

serj, that is our resident troll, The Truth. Pay him no mind.

He changes nicks because most of us here have scripts on our computers that hide his comments under “The Truth”.

 
 

And I’ve noticed that the shithead Troll seems to have been erased from the page of history.
I suspect that “owlbear1” at 19:32 is actually an instance of name-stealing by which we may remember the troll.

 
 

Well, there’s a great line in (I think) the first one, relating to the two FBI officers, one white, one black, both called Johnson. The white one receives a call on his mobile and says “Hello, this is Agent Johnson. [Pause for reply]… No, the other one.” Which does at least show some awareness of the stereotyping.

 
 

Well, he’s obsessive as usual, so at least that’s still the same.

 
 

Ah, the boo-hoos from Truthy about having his Same Retarded Shit As Usual Post Numbers 3,567,234 to 3,567,245 deleted because of his cowardly name-switching.

Gosh, a whining conservative. What are the odds?

 
 

Actor212, please name one movie or TV show within me in which you are credited.

I’d be happy to! Only, you’ll have to provide me with the job offer first, son. You can contact my agent. He’s listed in your database. When you find him, you can find me!

Wow, I really do pwn you…

 
 

Kiki,

I forgot about the Agent Johnson bit. That makes four.

 
 

Die Hard had five Amusing Black Men in it, where most movies limit themselves to one.

I’d have to disagree with Ruff on that. I’d only call two characters Amusing Black Men.

The limo driver, definitely. And the black cop, at least initially.

But the computer expert was primarily there to be the Techno Genius Guy, whose purpose it was to show you that the criminals were exceptionally up-to-date and therefore extra dangerous. Techno Genius Guys’ race doesn’t matter, and Techno Genius Guys always crack jokes to show you how at ease they are as they capably perform their incredibly complex tasks.

The agents Johnson were Overbearing Government Guys. FBI agents are often used in that role. Race is as immaterial for Overbearing Government Guys as it is for Techno Genius Guys. Besides, Amusing Black Men are supposed to show lots of emotion and black Agent Johnson was pretty much flat affect.

I don’t recall the SWAT team member and the thorn bush.

 
 

Snorg,

I agree with your assessment, but here’s the thing: Amusing doesn’t have to mean comic relief. Al, the cop, was definitely amusing as he kept McClain’s spirits up. The Johnsons, while OGG, as you point out, were funny just for being the cariactures they were. TGG, true, didn’t have to be black, but he was, and my suspicion is he was cast black because Willis and McTiernan wanted a diverse gang of crooks, so there’s definitely an (off-script) racism involved.

 
 

You are not an actor as you do not appear once in my database.

I’m sorry, Actor212 is busy right now with an audition. Please leave a message at the beep and he’ll be sure to get back to you.

BEEEEEEEEEEEP

 
 

a diverse gang of crooks

This is a pet peeve. I mean, at least in The Warriors the baseball guys stuck with the baseball guys.

 
 

Besides, Amusing Black Men are supposed to show lots of emotion and black Agent Johnson was pretty much flat affect.

I’m not sure about that. Black Agent Johnson frequently looks at White Agent Johnson like he thinks the latter is a total douche, and I believe even calls him a ‘shithead’ or something similar under cover of chopper noise. White Johnson is portrayed as kind of a wang, while Black Johnson is the cool one.

 
 

RB,

But you’ll notice that all the hostages in Die Hard were oppressed rich white folks, except the Asian taskmaster boss (who gets killed) making his people stay for an office party on Christmas Eve and the pregnant Latina, who’s dropping babies left and right.

 
 

IMDB.com: foolish little troll.

Fixed your post for accuracy.

 
 

Fuck the troll douchebag. Fucktard posts incessantly on here about some white kid beat up by black kids as an example of liberal hypocrisy, then his own fucking article about it shows the god damned offenders being sentenced and sent to prison and not, as you might imagined, headlining a Barbra Streisand concert.

 
 

I’d have to disagree with Ruff on that. I’d only call two characters Amusing Black Men.

I agree with you that Ruff stretched the definition to fit the others. But I can see how, after repeated viewings, Die Hard might lead to the concept of a world where all the black people were grinning robots.

It might take the help of some pot brownies, but the germ of the idea is there.

So – troofie morphed into IMDB.com? I guess it would have to be the free-for-all comments sections, not the actual useful bits. Those comment sections are right up there with YouTube for sloping-browed bullshit quotient.

 
 

Cid, I know that. I’m enjoying watching him flail about.

It’s like watching the kids on the short bus tying their shoe laces.

They just keep trying and trying until they tumble over on their helmets, bless their little hearts. You want to step in and assist them, but you know they need to learn this for themselves.

 
 

It solves the studio execs’ problem by satisfying an audience that would be uncomfortable with the book’s ending. Teh scary black man forms a familial bond with teh white lady and her son. He basically adopts both of them, but try explaining that on film in the 1980’s.

I had always heard that Kubrick knew fanboys would probably go into paroxysms of rage over the free-and-easy approach he took to putting the film on screen (I always thought they needed to revive the “Inspired By” credit for that film) and so decided he’d go ahead and REALLY fuck with them by killing off the film’s ostensible hero.

 
 

On Predator II – I don’t know for sure, but I’d bet dollars to donuts that Glover’s character was originally written for Mel Gibson. He has an Irish name, ‘Mike Harrigan’, and is a crazy loner etc etc who is basically Gibson’s character in Lethal Weapon. Until you ‘get used’ to the movie (or even watch it a couple of times) the part doesn’t really seem to suit Glover, and I think that’s why.

Overambitious casting, perhaps – but maybe the studio also noticed that, with Gibson in the starring role, the movie would’ve featured a golden-maned Aryan superman cutting a swathe through hordes of Jamaican and Latino gang members. And while that’s the kind of thing that would have Truthy or the Moran bespoiling their pants quicker than their most vivid self-created Mel Gibson fantasy could possibly manage, most people would probably find it a bit distasteful.

 
 

But you’ll notice that all the hostages in Die Hard were oppressed rich white folks

I am pleased to say that I remember nearly no details from that film.

On the other hand I recently saw Milk and Slumdog Millionaire, both of which were worth the cash, the former more than the latter I’d say.

 
 

On Predator II

A reasonable theory, but one that makes me question how I spend my free time.

 
 

a diverse gang of crooks

I lament the absence of any decent underwater heist movies.
[joke about “divers gang of crooks” goes here].

 
 

Smut Clyde, your comment carries no water with me.

(Didn’t that DeNiro and Ed Norton flick involve a heist performed underwater?)

 
 

At a pinch, one could describe the characters of Three Kings as a sun-dry gang of crooks.

 
 

At a pinch, one could describe the characters of Three Kings as a sun-dry gang of crooks.

A real po’ pore-y, eh?

 
 

“get a brain Moran[s]!”
Seriously , where is it that so many complete idiots come from that hover over this page ?
Not one decent or intelligent comment on the whole story , kind of embarrassing for the poor sap writing this thing [who does a very nice job].
Just a bunch of right wing racist t-rolls trying so hard to ” piss off libruls”.
Moderation must be the key…ban the jackasses!

 
 

On the other hand I recently saw Milk and Slumdog Millionaire, both of which were worth the cash, the former more than the latter I’d say.

_______________________________________________________

Man, Milk is easily the best recent movie I’ve seen, and possibly one of my faves of all time. So human and so deep and Sean Penn should easily win best actor (tho Mickey Rourke was awesome in the wrestler too.)

/end movie critic shit

 
 

I lament the absence of any decent underwater heist movies. [joke about “divers gang of crooks” goes here].

The closest I can think of is that bizarre early-fifties Shakespeare adaptation starring Esther Williams – Divers, Alarums, and Excursions.

 
 

“I lament the absence of any decent underwater heist movies”

I read that as “I lament the absence of any decent undewear heist movies”.

But perhaps I project.

 
 

I read that as “I lament the absence of any decent undewear heist movies”.

But perhaps I project.

“Thong Of The Living Dead” was pretty good.

 
 

“Thong Of The Living Dead” was pretty good.

The thinging wath dreadful.

 
 

The thinging wath dreadful.

D’oh! Walked right into that one.

 
 

“The thinging wath dreadful.”

But the costumes were fabulous.

 
 

Perhaps I can interest you in my script for Criminal Negligee.

 
 

Perhaps I can interest you in my script for Criminal Negligee.

Basque Me No Questions…you wrote that, didn’t you?

 
 

Yes, I am trying to get us away from puns…

Puns are still better than idiocy, thank you very little.

 
 

“Perhaps I can interest you in my script for Criminal Negligee.”

Is that the one about the Jockey who was also an attourney who kept filing his briefs?

 
 

Not to mention another bizarre Shakespeare adaptation that was ALSO an underwear heist movie — “A Little Brief Authority”.

 
 

For the Coleridge fans: Little-known film noir, “This Earth in Fast Thick Pants”.

 
 

I think everyone’s missed what King Leer was all about.

 
 

“The Thong Remains the Same” was a documentary, wasn’t it?

 
 

I lament the absence of any decent underwater heist movies.

Sexy Beast. Actual underwater heist movie.

Bubba – eh, who cares. That’s why it’s called ‘free time’.

 
 

I quite liked De Palma’s “Dressed to Krill” but “No Country for Old Men (and the sea)” lacked to intensity of “3.10 to Paua”.

 
 

One can lack to intensity . It’s quite simple.

 
 

Sexy Beast. Actual underwater heist movie.
That may well be so. I can only say that “Ocean’s 11” was a vast disappointment.

 
 

Shit, I spend one day shrooming and listening to music, and I miss all the movie fun. (In my defense, it was on a $5,000 pair of electromagnet speaker drivers and, no offense, but you fuckers don’t have shit on that.)

kiki,
Totally agree with your take on the Johnsons in Die Hard. I think the line you’re thinking of is something like:
White Johnson: “Yee-haw! Just like fuckin’ Saigon!”
Black Johnson: “I was in junior high, dick.”
I actually think there’s a bit of deliberate playing with stereotypes going on there, if only because they’re listed in the credits as “Big Johnson” and “Little Johnson” (and the black one is Little Johnson).

Righteous Bubba,
I was initially ashamed to actually know what kiki was talking about with Predator II, but at least I remember Die Hard. Yeah, it’s shit, but it’s entertaining shit assuming a BAC >0.1, and way better than most other Christmas movies.

Actually, speaking of Die Hard, has anyone else noticed the common theme in all of those movies that the bad guys always appear to be (and actively promote the notion that they are) political terrorists but always turn out to just be money-hungry crooks? And that government counterterrorism people are always either in on it (2 and 4) or supremely incompetent (1 and 3)?

Everyone should probably just ignore my blather — I’m interested in hearing more about these underwear heist movies.

 
 

Sexy Beast. Actual underwater heist movie.

Thunderball.

 
 

Actually, speaking of Die Hard, has anyone else noticed the common theme in all of those movies that the bad guys always appear to be (and actively promote the notion that they are) political terrorists but always turn out to just be money-hungry crooks?

I’d make a quibble about Die Hard 2 having “political terrorists”. One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter and while I may consider the military assisting in a coup d’etat “terrorism,” I’m not sure that Willis or Harlin did.

 
 

True enough, actor212. I guess it would be more accurate to say that the goals of the villains are made to appear political (in 2 it would be freeing the Noriega stand-in) when they are actually monetary. Though I guess in 2 releasing bizarro Noriega was actually one of their goals. I believe this only serves to reinforce my point.

(Bonus George Carlin joke: “If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never get to that part.”)

 
 

RyRy, well put!

*polite white Republican applause*

Martini?

 
 

Martini?

Hmm, yes, indeed. *pours self a glass of cheap vodka and gin and some Thunderbird then promptly knocks it back*

 
 

Ah, the Ghettoblaster…

*joins in*

 
 

He called me a dick! I’m flattered.

Though I hope that’s not a pass. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it or anything.

 
 

(comments are closed)