Sadly, No!’s Hate Mail Bage

Because we don’t want PeoplePolitical to have all the fun, here’s a nice li’l letter plucked from our very own hate mail bage:

To whom it may concern:

The following link was just brought to my attention re: The Little
Leaders Company:

Hee-hee… oh yeah, that was a good one…

For those of you who don’t remember, I was making fun of a Christian children’s video called Little Noah that, according to the company promoting it, “allows your little one to experience the true story of Noah as told in the Bible.” To which I responded, “Your child will delight as he watches humanity drown!” At any rate, someone sent the link to the company’s PR lady, and she’s rather displeased:

As the publicist for this company, I’m very alarmed at this shameful use of the story that Agape Press ran and am wondering how or why you chose to misrepresent this company on your website?

Because I’m alarmingly shameless?

I realize that the Internet has made it easy for anyone to bash anyone else…

Gavin sez: “Well, maybe it looks easy.”

…but I find it horrible that a website such as yours would take out their worldly frustrations on a wholesome company such as The Little Leaders, who are trying to provide a positive product for children.

Well, I’m not sure how stories in the Old Testament are really “positive” for children to hear, since God spends most of the time smiting vast swathes of humanity with plagues, floods, locusts, and, when He really feels inspired, the Angel of Death. (Incidentally, I love how the same people who complained about having to teach their children about oral sex because of Bill Clinton have no problem explaining to their children why God saw fit to kill the first-born child of every Egyptian household.)

I would hope for a response from you.

Marika Flatt PR by the Book

And here is my response: please lighten up.


Brad R.


Comments: 29


great response, except I’d have left out “please.”


I think I said it in a more understated fashion.

Well, maybe it looks easy.

See, the nuance is everything. It what separates us from those animals at Crooked Timber.


OK, will fix…


We’re definitely not going to attack Skippy, right? The cats keep bringing it up, but we’d totally never do such a thing, would we? I mean, that’s so not what we’re about…


Do we really want SKippy to get more traffic when we still have a chance to beat him to a million hits?


Some Christian theologians insist that we are all so depraved (because of the Fall) that we all deserve to burn in Hell for all eternity regardless of how we live, so really, God is a nice guy, really, just don’t piss Him off!


Well, you’re in charge of kitten assaults, but it seems like every time we launch a completely necessary and unavoidable wave of kittens at a brutal and criminal terror regime such as the so-called Skippy, we get about 20,000 hits. Not that that would ever be a reason to do such a thing.


I heard somewhere that Skippy isn’t letting the kitten inspectors in.

And he tried to buy MeowMix from Niger.


Let’s hope she accuses us of smoking the “magic smoke” in her reply…


…Um, he’s got less than 5,000 visits left to go.

Not that that would ever be a reason to…


So let’s see. You have less than 15,000 to go, Skippy has less than 5,000 to go. Kitten strikes attract 20,000 hits (which I’m sure is not an exaggeration.) Everyone here will go check out Skippy when you do that, so give him an extra 68 hits. Statistically it looks good. But can you get the UN to back such a plan?

And do keep in mind that he spammed your comments trying to get get more people for those hits.


OK, thy will be done…


I sent some kittens over via email.


Did they leave out the part where the kids throw a blanket over naked, drunken Noah? ‘Cos I really can’t condone editing God. It’s just wrong.

Also curious to know who played Noah’s wife, Joan.


I’m more interested when Little Leaders introduce Little Lot and have to explain what his neighbors were doing and why their behavior was so shocking and why Little Lot’s little daughters had to get Daddy all drunk so they could take advantage of him because they were not ready to let uncircumsized heathens breach their maidenhoods.


Just another cynical ex-hippie working for the establishment.


Pfft. Typical wingnuttia: “Help help! I’m being repressed by those who think they are open minded!!”


Actually, the title of the article is ‘CBS/Infinity Radio blacks out anti-terror conference’ not blocks out, so another screw up on their part.


Did she actually respond to your point about children watching humanity dying a horrible lingering death?

Or are you just not allowed to make fun of people on principle?


Are you sure this isn’t a parody? Because it’s just a bit too perfect that a humorless Bible-thumper would *really* have the name “Marika Flatt.” It’s like a cross between Atrios’s parody troll “Merkin Patriot” and the Flat Earth society.


“And he tried to buy MeowMix from Niger.

Stop it Yosef! My side is hurting from laughing at that one.

Perhaps Seb’s wife can send him to Niger to investigate…. Oh shit! Did I just become S,N!s version of Karl “Marxie” Rove??


Continue reading “Sadly, No!’s Hate Mail Bage”Bage?


I sure hope “the little leaders” explains how two members of all the species had enough genetic diversity to repopulate the planet with life…


Should have told her to pull that big, prickly Veggie out of her Tail.


I’m still amazed that the AbsorbShun people haven’t sued this blog.


Devestating response, but my prediction is that she’ll be dining on your liver (at least in some legal/theological way) unless you do some good old-fashioned groveling. Agape Press outsources intellectual property problems to some of Bolton’s boys. Expect a visit.


I’m still amazed that the AbsorbShun people haven’t sued this blog.

Posted by s.z. at July 21, 2005 07:57 AM

I think they must realize they are fair game.


hey, what happened to my earlier comment?

At any rate the PR lady clearly has no sense of humor.



post her email address so we can join in on the fun!!!


Well, I’m not sure how stories in the Old Testament are really “positive” for children to hear, since God spends most of the time smiting vast swathes of humanity with plagues, floods, locusts, and, when He really feels inspired, the Angel of Death.

Or letting Lot’s daughters get away with getting their father drunk and sleeping with him, or Jacob the bigamist (who also got it on with two other mistresses besides), or the entire Song of Solomon (which reads like porn almost!)…should I go on? 😉


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