Forget the damage to our computers. What about the damage to our brains?

Some day I’ll have to tally up a list of all of the design imperfections in this “perfectly designed” body, just for ready ammo. Things like the tailbone, the retina someone put in backwards, appendix, etc.

Intelligent designer handbag carried by an unintelligent cobag.

Only in America would a former contestant on Survivor think she’s got the intellectual chops to bitch-slap Darwin – and get a TV show to help spread her ignorance. Republicans like to talk about how our “values” have been degraded, but never mention how their mouthpieces have helped to bring that about.

It’s often difficult to determine the admixture of stupidity, dishonesty, and pure evilness in the average conservative pundit.

Hasselbeck, on the other hand, is pure, 100%, unadulterated, USDA Prime Stupid.

For those prone to explore the wingnutosphere critically, this short video of her should always be at hand for calibration purposes.

Bravo, Jennifer!

On television, anyone can be an evolutionary biologist!

Oh my God, it’s all so clear once you compare it all to shoes! My Manolos always give me the best insight, I’ll pay more attention to them in the future. Manolo and the human eye, the perfect way to stomp on Darwin!

Only in America would a former contestant on Survivor think she’s got the intellectual chops to bitch-slap Darwin – and get a TV show to help spread her ignorance. Republicans like to talk about how our “values” have been degraded, but never mention how their mouthpieces have helped to bring that about.

One nation, under an Emu.

This, in a nutshell, is why we have to make fun of them.

It’s our patriotic duty.

They are impervious to reason, but sensitive to criticism.

They are impervious to reason, but sensitive to criticism.

Yeah, but because they’re also full of teh Stoopid, they don’t get the criticism and assume it’s on the level of their own critical skills – which is to insult and ridicule everything they’re too dumb to understand. Which kinda takes all the fun right out of it.

Hasselback’s theory is ridiculous. I have had clothes hanging in my closet for years and I never once saw no designer come in and change them to some more evolved form. Where is this designer?

Yeah, look at a child…look at the human eye…then look at smallpox, the plague, and those fish in the Amazon that swim up the urethra and stick out spines to keep from being dislodged.

Thanks a lot, God.

Someone needs to show this to Hasselbeck.

I’m pretty hung over – this didn’t really help.

‘JoeBuddha said,

December 14, 2008 at 16:30

Some day I’ll have to tally up a list of all of the design imperfections in this “perfectly designed” body, just for ready ammo. Things like the tailbone, the retina someone put in backwards, appendix, etc.’

So…
The “intelligent designer” uses substandard manufacturing?
God condones to sweatshop labour?

Quick, buy more chinese stuff. That is what god want’s and what Jesus would do.

Just a heads up, there are goodies flowing from this conference in Jerusalem on “jihad”. Pamela’s live blogging again with plenty of typos:

Pipes spoke of crushing the will of the Palestinians.No more adi. No more discussion of the temple mount. First lets see this war won. No more concessions. No more aid.

Just thought I’d share the wingnuttiness, as if Hasselback wasn’t enough. My God, the shoes! The fucking shoes!

Sunglasses and a bonnet
Designer jeans with appliqués on it

Who but the Lord God on high could have conceived and created such a perfect outfit?

OK, Elizabeth, who designed cancer?

Bush if off in Irackeystan for his farewell tour..

I’m sure all the stadiums are sold out

so, um, that’s her educated arguement in favor of Creation.

shoes. handbags.

Ah. Well.

…

….

\…

WTF IS THIS DUMBASS THINKING, OR MORE LIKE “NOT” THINKING? HANDBAGS? WHY THANK YOU, LIZZY, YOU’VE NOT ONLY SHOWN YOURSELF A MORONIC STEREOTYPICALLY SHALLOW CLOTHESHORSE BUT TOTALLY UNFIT TO BREED! OUT OF THE GENE POOL, MISSY!

The criticism is not so much for them, as for other people who could be swayed by them.

Flat-earthers held sway for centuries. Now, they are simply ridiculed, because their assertions are so stupid no one bothers to refute them.

People who don’t understand biology and evolution could superficially give merit to this stupid argument. By making her idiocy plain, we are doing far more good than arguing with her, since she is hopeless.

Pipes spoke of crushing the will of the Palestinians.

Ah, how very Barbarian of him.

“To crush the Palestinian, to drive him before you and hear the lamentation of the vimmin!”

Still not dumber than anything Jonah has said.

OK, Elizabeth, who designed cancer?

Or spina bifida. Or trisomy-21. Or sickle-cell anemia. Or cystic fibrosis. Or Type II diabetes. Or autism. Or hemophilia. Or cerebral palsy. Or…

See, the problem is that the stupid among the wingers spend so much time on “every sperm is sacred” that they forget that children are frequently born imperfect. Not bad, or less-than-human, but certainly well short of the standard she clearly has in mind.

…and don’t get me started on the human eye, which is clear evidence that God loves cephalopods best.

Well, God is a great watchmaker. No one can deny that, so who’s to say He doesn’t make great species as well?

Laugh all you want but if you think about it, Hasselbeck truly is a living refutation of Darwin’s ideas of ‘survival of the fittest’.

I have watched my cat for the last hour or so now and I ain’t seen no evolution happen, so, I don’t believe in it.

I want chameleon’s eyes. Call it an after-market alteration. I want it now!

Why did God make us have to poo? Why couldn’t our waste products simply be released as a lavender-smelling fragrance that makes cute girls really horny?

That would have been like the coolest. Plus, there would be a million Mexican restaurants on every corner.

See, I just proved God ain’t all that.

Those awful coffee mugs on the table in front of them are proof that God does not exist.

Call me stupid (or my divine design not fully intelligent), but I just learned “awfulize” is a verb. I like it.

Please don’t debacle the thread with your unauthorized verbimentation, J—.

I have watched my cat for the last hour or so now and I ain’t seen no evolution happen, so, I don’t believe in it.

Likewise, the cat, observing you, has not seen the appearance of even an early version of “can opener hands,” and is similarly disappointed.

Not bad, or less-than-human, but certainly well short of the standard she clearly has in mind.

I imagine that the wingnut response to this is that these problems are not design flaws, but caused by the fact that someone, somewhere, is being a liberal and/or homosexual. Once all of those are killed off, every baby will be perfect forever.

I think the mere existance of “The View” is a pretty good indication of the absence of both a loving Diety and intelligent life on Earth.

Likewise, the cat, observing you, has not seen the appearance of even an early version of “can opener hands,” and is similarly disappointed.

Here’s what I want to know: even though they started making the cat food I’ve always bought with a pull-tab lid 7 or 8 years ago, why does my current, under-5-year-old cat, still come running to the kitchen whenever I use a can opener? It’s like something in their DNA or something.

Do you ever open tuna fish cans, Jennifer?

The smell drives kitties crazy.

The mere existence of The View makes my skin crawl. But this pathetically stupid little ray of sunshine seems to be making it a surreal sideshow of housewifery wannabeity. (Sorry, do a post on typos and you just want to start making words up all over the place.)

“Jennifer said,

December 14, 2008 at 17:38

Likewise, the cat, observing you, has not seen the appearance of even an early version of “can opener hands,” and is similarly disappointed.

Here’s what I want to know: even though they started making the cat food I’ve always bought with a pull-tab lid 7 or 8 years ago, why does my current, under-5-year-old cat, still come running to the kitchen whenever I use a can opener? It’s like something in their DNA or something.”

It is still food, isn’t it? Not meant for cat, but hey, when you are living the life of a cat you go to kitchen when food is being made, maybe they drop something. Maybe feed your cat some terrible tasting worm medicine from the can few times and problem solved; cat disappears on the first sound of canopener.

I don’t think anyone’s ever said these words, in any context, about anything, but…can’t Tim Hasselbeck do better?

Still not dumber than anything Jonah has said.

be fair dude. Jonah is truly a genius for the ages of the stupid.

Its…its full of shoes !

Cats have a very similar emotional connect for learning that we do. If something good happens when they hear a particular sound, it doesn’t take long for it to become embedded.

Just as we retain fondness for the make out songs of our youth, even if our tastes have changed.

The criticism is not so much for them, as for other people who could be swayed by them.

Personally, I don’t ridicule people like Elizabeth Hasselbeck or Pat Boone in hopes of swaying the opinions of others and informing the general public. I do it for myself. I just like laughing at ignorant jerks.

My favorite anti-Darwinist techniques is to claim some biological aspect is”irreducibly complex”. And then when a biologist finds an antecedent for that aspect, to say nothing, or say that doesn’t invalidate their argument. I hope someone (Pharyngula?) is keeping a list of formerly irreduciblicious complexitonics and their citations. Myself, am too busy evolving.

as for other people who could be swayed by them

Anyone who has their world-view overturned by the comment of a dtiz on a morning show probably shouldn’t be let out without adult supervision.

Generally the best way to proceed in science is to go by the judgments of average people who theorize extemporaneously, often by way of introductory phrases like “the way I figger it” or “I reckon” or “what I don’t understand is how come” and so on. You don’t need a bunch of big head fancy educated types working in labs and what not.

Laugh all you want but if you think about it, Hasselbeck truly is a living refutation of Darwin’s ideas of ’survival of the fittest’.

She’s part of the mountain of evidence indicating that the universe is governed by Devo.

By avoiding all these fancy science types, explanations can be arrived at more quickly and with less doubt.

I.e., if a really difficult question comes up, you can explain that it was caused or created by an invisible magic guy.

You don’t need any more than that. An invisible magic guy explains all, there’s no complicated training or education or experimentation or thinking needed, and you have achieved the answer.

You don’t need a bunch of big head fancy educated types working in labs and what not.

This must be central to your point. Or Pinko Punko’s.

Don’t be so quick to condemn all of The View. Any show on which Joy Behar
says to John McCain, “Why did you lie?” can’t be all bad.
(Or whatever she said. “That was a lie,” etc., etc.)

What did the gals say to that imbecile after her shoes comment?

Is there something wrong with the video? All I saw was a glowing orb of pure stupid. I heard something but it was too stupid for me to comprehend. What did you guys see?

Now, when I close my eyes the afterimage looks like Jeebus.

I want to have a word with The Great Designer about my wisdom teeth.

an invisible magic guy

who is SO gonna kick your ass after you die…

knees. I have a real bone to pick about the knees….

Yeah, and what is this shit about that “perfect design for the human eye”? Perfect design my ass. At least a quarter of us are in glasses before adulthood. That’s a goddamned Ford Pinto of a design there, pal.

Now, now…all those things that we think of as imperfections are meely part of the Designer’s plan that we don’t understand. Or are part of the Fall of Man for something or another. Or are a choice we make in the womb. Or are a consequence of having homosexuals who have not been stoned to death yet. Or …. well, I’m sure there are a lot more than that.

When talking to G*d about human design imperfections, be sure to mention that the penis should be eight centimeters longer.

The sad thing online is that Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs has made many enemies and also continues to post pro-evolution things on his blog, which just makes his winger enemies more rabidly anti-evolution. They’re calling him Darwin Johnson now.

I don’t know, it seems to me as if the main thrust of being anti-evolution is to act irreversibly stupid just to spite perceived enemies. Is there more?

If bodies are so perfect, how come mine wouldn’t go into labor and nearly killed me and my kid? I guess God wanted it to happen, but I disobeyed him by depending on science to save my life. Does Betsy Wetsy Hasselback depend on God’s perfection or does she go to the doctor?

Susan of Texas: Yeah, but what sort of handbag did you have?

“It;s not only wbat you dteach but what you dont teach.” –Pamela Geller

I can’t even make up typos like these! I’m literally LOL at this point. Just had to share the mirth.

OK, Elizabeth, who designed cancer?

Halston.

Perfect design my ass. At least a quarter of us are in glasses before adulthood.

You stole my point. The human eye eats balls. Oh, and the spine doesn’t win any engineering prizes either, particularly after you reach 40.

Does Betsy Wetsy Hasselback depend on God’s perfection or does she go to the doctor?

She goes to the doctor when Jeebus tells her to.

and the gastro-intestinal system!!!! What about that!! I mean, there you are, trying to … wait! where are you all going!?!?! Come back and listen to this!!!

As long as she’s comparing God’s creation to designer handbags, can she please address the problem of counterfeiting? Are there factories somewhere in China cranking out thousands of fake elephants and rhinoceri and human eyeballs?

Yes there are, and the patterns don’t match up at the seams and the hardware is cheap.

hmmmm. I wonder if she can explain god’s inordinate fondness for beetles….

Ontology does not recapitulate phylogeny. Perhaps young Ms. Hasselback’s progeny aren’t doomed…

So long as they’re hott…

I love these “it’s so beautiful” and “it’s too complex” arguments.

Our understanding and intelligence is limited. The idea that something is “complex” is relative to our capabilities of comprehension, so it’s not suggestive of anything otherworldly.

As for things that we find to be beautiful, that’s relative to what you’re used to looking at. If people’s noses were in the middle of their foreheads, we would still find certain people attractive, because it’s what we would know. On a planet in another solar system, a sunset over the gray, barren landscape might be something extraordinarily beautiful to those that live there, while our sunset would be unsightly. Neither one could be used to say “there must be a God, or something like this wouldn’t exist”.

Yes, we have a sense of aesthetics. You see handbags you think are pretty. It would be that way with or without a higher power.

Until now I wouldn’t have thought it possible to dumb down Intelligent Design.

Intelligent design, eh? Philip Johnson comes to mind. Also Audi, Porsche and Honda. Maybe even Isaac Mizrahi. Elizabeth Hasslbeck, on the other hand, is evidence of boneheaded design. Leaving out the cerebrum is just incompetence, really.

What will you say when your child asks:

“Why is Mommy carrying last season’s bag?”

I think it was Terry Pratchet who wrote about the imperfection of the average human nostril. And how it is proof that we were unintelligently designed at the last minute by someone who had much better things to do.

“Why is Mommy carrying last season’s bag?”

well, OBVIOUSLY – God doesn’t like your mommy as much as he likes E. Hasselbeck!! I mean, there is a hierarchy here, after all!

I do so admire the kind of mind that has placed handbags as one of the keys to the mysteries of the universe.

I want to see a national contest like American Idol that searches for an intelligent, funny conservative. They keep saying they need more attention from the public.

At least y’all didn’t have to go on a lil’ holiday house tour with 30-odd neighbors and have to have Mr. “I’m married but when I talk to you I get literally 3 inches from your face, smile creepily and tell you I a) really ‘enjoy’ the TV series The Universe and b) went to Bob Jones University” standing next to you all friggin’ day asking me to reconcile science and God. I told him a) they ain’t necessarily mutually exclusive despite what Bob the Third told you 30 yrs ago and b) my dad actually got kicked out of Bob Jones in the 50’s for reasons never fully explained before he died 10 yrs ago (and remained quintessentially ‘irreligious’ his whole life).

Other flaws of our “intelligently” designed bodies:

* The prostate. What a piece of junk that thing is.
* External testicles. Come on, that’s just stupid. Yes, I KNOW they’re out there to keep sperm at slightly cooler temperatures, but a smarter designer would’ve made the sperm a bit more heat-tolerant and tucked the testicles in a nice bone cup.
* Female reproductive system. I’m sure the wingers would argue that this is all because of Eve and the apple, but still. Menstruation is stupid, and the whole system is ridiculously prone to infection, cancer, and other forms of biological failure.

I used to have a list of these somewhere….

Shows how culturally ignorant I am – I had no idea that this woman’s entire claim to fame was coming in fourth place in a TV game show and marrying a football player. I figured she was somebody, you know, important. For having accomplished, you know, something.

Why does she sit at a table on a TV talk show with the likes of Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg, women who have, you know, accomplished something?

Of course, I don’t understand the mind-set that thinks $10 worth of leather, thread and metal snaps is magically worth thousands of dollars either. What’s wrong with me?

country’s going to hell in a handbag…

Wow. That was a bowlful of stupidity to get my day started. I’m just sorry the video cut off Bahar just as she was about to say something about the flaws.

And just about every example of human flaws listed in previous comments has been “explained” by dumbasses such as Hasselbeck (and my personal favorite, Ken “Creation Museum” Ham) as being the result of “corrupted chromosomes and genes”: Adam and Eve were created perfect, but because of that whole nasty “original sin” business, our genetics have been degrading ever since.

Which of course leads me to wonder how in the f*ck did Adam and Eve fit every known genome type into their bodies? And if we are the result of a continuing degradation of our genetics, how is it we are living longer than our ancestors (well, except for those biblical titans like Adam, Noah, Methuselah, etc)?

The stupid does more than burn – it’s freakin’ arc welding.

Why did I suddenly think of “I do not understand it, therefore it must be God”?

And how on earth does believing in a creator preclude one from believing in evolution? I keep asking them, but then they get all “deer in headlights” on me while their brain reboots and then they just keep babbling about some “intelligent designer”. Apparently, their designer was a cheap Walmart knockoff brand.

If handbags & shoes grew on trees all over the world, had a fossil record going millions of years back, and could be observed changing/evolving now, then you’d be a moron not to believe they evolved.

One word: appendix.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I bring you a link to the longer version of this video, posted on the site that would have more to despair by this idiocy than any other, Pharyngula.

And I have to say, I didn’t think Hasselbeck et al could look any dumber or make Behar (Bahar?) look like the voice of reason…

I like Edward Current’s videos on YouTube. This one “Creation Science Must Be Taken Seriously!” is good. He has a very dry sense of humor that I think most Sadlies would like.

Well you guys might laugh, but I think it’s admirable that ABC is living out their “hire the handicapped” policy so publicly.

Unnoted so far is that Ms. Hasselback called Whoopi and Joy Behr “bags” by saying she wasn’t calling them “bags.”

Jesus, in his capacity as infinitely merciful God, has sentenced all you evolution-worshippers to an eternity of torture. And not that wimpy earth torture, this is even torturier soul hell torture. He didn’t want to, but you forced him to do it – for your own good.

Unnoted so far is that Ms. Hasselback called Whoopi and Joy Behr “bags” by saying she wasn’t calling them “bags.”

Ooh, ouch. And isn’t any insult ending in “-bag” inherently sexist? I seem to remember reading that somewhere.

Oh Dear Sweet Cthulhu’s Glistening Tendrils!
The title actually does describe her POV.
(facepalm)
Weakest. Fucking. Analogy. Ever.

I have one thing to say to her:

Ruh-roh!

*bursts into tears*

Joe Max
“Why does she sit at a table on a TV talk show with the likes of Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg, women who have, you know, accomplished something?”

She’s pretty and she can regurgitate GOP talking points on command.

You’re all going here, because you don’t believe in the right sky fairy.

Those “Hell is Real” signs pop up, unnecessarily, here in Mississippi too.

Hell is Real

sadly, I think the poster of that billboard may have reason to think so…

Now I must go off and sing two excruciatingly boring christmas concerts – certainly not Hell, but possibly Heck.

I love rhetorical arguments that could fit into tweets. She forgot the “QED, MOTHERFUCKERS!”

Professor P. Punko!

I issued a shout-out earlier on this thread.

The prostate. What a piece of junk that thing is.

It merely requires the proper maintenance – good diet, regular exercise and the occasional massage. Uhnunhuhnuhn

Why is it that liberals can’t merely disagree with conservatives politically? Why do they have such hatred for those with a different view point?

I can see disagreeing with Sarah Palin on a political level. I can even see, disliking her politics, what I cannot understand is why liberals have to resort to arson, just because of someones political beliefs.

Whoever burned down that church is lucky they weren’t gunned down. This is Alaska mind you, almost everyone is packing heat. And that piece of shit, who burned down Sarah Palin’s church, should take a bullet in the skull. I just wish a congregation member, who happened to be packing heat was present. That piece of shit would on a one way trip to meet his Maker, as he should be.

Just like in Utah, with those homosexual activists burning down Mormon churches. Sooner or later, some armed congregation members are going to confront them, and it won’t be pretty. It would be well deserved in both of those cases. You liberals make me sick.

Shoes used to live in dark recesses called “closets”. Over the centuries, shoes developed new dwellings, some made of cloth called “shoebags” and some made of a wood derivative and called “shoeboxes”. In times past, they lived in their primordial pairings alone or with one or two other pairs. As economic growth has occurred, there are millions communities, with dozens of pairs living peacefully together, with some counting into the hundreds of pairs.

Ohhhkay then.

When talking to G*d about human design imperfections, be sure to mention that the penis should be eight centimeters longer.

Oh, HELL no.

But three or four centimeters fatter? NOW we’re talking.

As I tell the students in my introduction to anthropology class, anyone who believes in “Intelligent Design” either knows nothing about biology or has no respect for the designer. It only seems elegant and miraculous if you believe it occurred by random chance. As design, it make Rube Goldberg look efficient.

Why is that trolls and conservatives (pleonasm?) can’t merely say something sensible? Why do they have such ianimosity to facts?

And why haven’t I heard about the rash of homsexualist activizers torching the tmeples of Moron?

I haven’t read about that; do you have cites?

There are always a few dangerous nuts on any side, unfortunately. The difference is whether you agree with them, as conservatives do, or if like liberals you do not.

I am REALLY starting to grow fond of the right wing. Between their hatred and contempt for the vast majority of humanity, their loathing for knowledge and wisdom, their elevation of arrogance and stupidity to the highest levels to which humans can aspire and their overarching envy and greed, they have created a condition assuring their political irrelevance and marginalization.

They are most welcome to form an increasingly small, insular group where they can crow their vile idiocy at one another and shout in thoughtless agreement with one another, while the rest of us go on blissfully, unencumbered by the menace they once represented.

Keep on, wackjobs.

mikey

Those “Hell is Real” signs pop up, unnecessarily, here in Mississippi too.

Weird how they never spell “Israel” properly.

Keep on, wackjobs.

Seconded and passed by a wide majority. Nothing like staking your “salvation” on the embrace of the dumbest and craziest 23% of the population.

I think it was Terry Pratchet who wrote about the imperfection of the average human nostril.

Bah! The Good Lord in His infinite wisdom designed the human nostril to be a nice snug fit for the human finger.

Yes actually I do have sites, and I’m glad you disagree with the nut(s) responsible for the arson.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=11092127&ch=4226713&src=news

When talking to G*d about human design imperfections, be sure to mention that the penis should be eight centimeters longer.

I don’t have any specific complaints in that department, though from my somewhat limited experience, I’d suggest that a User’s Manual might be helpful.

I just wish a congregation member, who happened to be packing heat was present.

Why don’t you go hunt whoever it was down and dispense the Lead-Filled Justice you are apparently so hot for, like Sarah Palin’s own personal Punisher or something? I mean, if someone deserves to die that much, why won’t you pull the trigger whether it was your church or not?

Copied from somewhere above:

Perfect design my ass. At least a quarter of us are in glasses before adulthood.

You stole my point. The human eye eats balls. Oh, and the spine doesn’t win any engineering prizes either, particularly after you reach 40.

—–

Three little words to bring anyone who buys into the whole “we’re just so perfect and wonderful we must have a designer” argument to his or her knees: impacted wisdom teeth.

More seriously, and to piggyback on the spine argument above: a relative of mine suffered a catastrophic spinal injury. Not quite in the Christopher Reeve category, but close enough. Since those cells don’t repair themselves, he lived the rest of his much shortened life in a wheelchair. This was a strong, vital, smart, athletic guy not much over 30, with a wife and young child to support. He had good longevity genes on both sides of his family and should have lived a longer than normal life span in good health, but he died in his early 50s. All he did wrong was hit his head on the bottom of a swimming pool in exactly the wrong way. Don’t talk to me, or his parents, or his wife, or his ex-wife, or his child, or his stepchildren about “perfect design.”

That he managed 20 more years, continuing to work maybe 10 of those, and mostly didn’t suffer a whole lot is due entirely to manmade medical science (and excellent health and disability insurance, the kind McCain and the Republicans wanted to take away from everyone lucky enough to have it).

“Suspicious.” “Treating it as possible arson.” I can well believe it was arson. But we don’t know and neither do you, dickweed. I won’t even mention the Reichstag fire…..

And more importantly, where are the cites for “…homosexual activists burning down Mormon churches”? Other than in your tortured teeny mind.

Also, why won’t god heal amputees?

From what I read in the news, the only person saying the church fire was caused by an arsonist is Palin’s spokesperson, who made a statement using the word “arsonist”. The law enforcement and fire authorities are saying they’re investigating it, but have not yet come to a conclusion.

Amusing observation – Palin’s official statement is another in a long list of classic examples of it being “all about her.”

“Gov. Palin stopped by the church this morning, and she told an assistant pastor that she apologizes if the incident is in any way connected to the undeserved negative attention the church has received since she became a vice-presidential candidate on Aug. 29. Whatever the motives of the arsonist, the governor has faith in the scriptural passage that what was intended for evil will in some way be used for good.”

They’ll probably find out it was faulty wiring or something.

I have watched my cat for the last hour or so now
No further comment is necessary.

I just wish a congregation member, who happened to be packing heat was present.

A ladies’ craft group was meeting in the building at the time. I’m sure they all have Berretas stashed in their knitting bags.

I admit, I was wrong about homosexual activists torching Mormon temples, and I apologize. However, they certainly did attack at least one Mormon temple in LA.

http://sweetness-light.com/archive/gays-attack-mormon-temple-in-la

I think those guilty of rampant comma abuse and dreadful spelling and grammar should get a really savage wedgie. Commander Guy of the Scotch Eggs Contingent and Ignorance Crusade, I’m looking at you.

Did anyone see Bill Maher on the View? It was a thing of beauty!

Maher rippin’

Oh, and the spine doesn’t win any engineering prizes either, particularly after you reach 40.

You touch on one of the most significant design flaws in the human organism, which is the design of the pelvis. The modern human pelvis is an uneasy compromise allowing it to perform two conflicting functions. On the one hand it must allow for efficient upright bipedal locomotion. On the other hand, it must allow for the birth of extraordinarily large headed babies. The former calls for a somewhat narrower pelvis with a narrow pelvic aperture. The latter calls for a broader pelvis with a wide opening. Even with the compromise, human infants must be born significantly premature compared to other apes (new born chimps are as developed as 6 month old humans) and the birthing process is far more difficult and dangerous for human females (In other mammals, the head easily passes through the aperture with room to spare. In humans the infant’s head is larger than the pelvic opening, causing it to “break” every time the woman gives birth.). At the same time, the strains of upright posture cause back, knee, and pelvic problems, as well as hernias.

Thats funny, PeeJ. Because, every news source I read, from yahoo to the blogosphere, says the fire was PROBABLY caused by an arsonist.

Slow down there, Chickenhawk of the Couch-bound Crusades. Since we all know Alaska is filled with God’s Children, who have rejected the soft, effiminite ways of the Lower 48 in exchange for a life of rugged, manly independence and government oi largess, therefore, ipso facto, QED, abracadabra, the culprit is probably a right-wing yahoo.

A ladies’ craft group was meeting in the building at the time. I’m sure they all have Berretas stashed in their knitting bags.

Come on now! This is Alaska we are talking about. I am certain that they all had AK-47s locked and loaded.

“Is it the shoes?”

“No, Mars.”

Also, the LA Times says the fire is being investigated as an arson. Next time better check your facts PeeJ.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/12/sarah-palin-chu.html

And Susan, btw, even though Alaska is overwhelmingly conservative and Republican, there are still a few liberals hear and there, like a turd in a punch bowl. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the arsonist actually went out of his way to travel to Alaska, for such a reason.

I’m not going to immediately blame opponents of Proposition 8, but I wouldn’t rule it out either.

Adding to what others have said, if the eye is so perfectly designed why do humans have a blind spot? Squid don’t have it, so I must conclude Cthulhu is the intelligent designer.

Thats funny, PeeJ. Because, every news source I read, from yahoo to the blogosphere, says the fire was PROBABLY caused by an arsonist.

Now, see, THERE’s some critical reading skills you got there, Scotty.

Every news source I read had a headline that said it was caused by arson, but the text of the stores all had no official statement from law enforcement or fire authorities that it was. Palin’s office said it was, and in another story the pastor claimed someone set the fire intentionally, but in fact, neither of them are in a position to know. The investigation is not concluded.

No one has even said what actually started the fire.

Also, the LA Times says the fire is being investigated as an arson.

Lots of fires are investigated as arson, and are concluded to be not arson.

Also, the LA Times says the fire is being investigated as an arson.

Most fires where the cause is not readily known are investigated as arson, you test-tube baby. It’s standard practice. And I’ll ask again, why aren’t you tracking down the suspected arsonist for their proper retribution if you feel so strongly about this?

Regardless of an official statement from Law Enforcement, it is still being INVESTIGATED as arson. And honestly, what are the chances, given the political climate and negative media coverage of Sarah Palin, that it was an accident.

Though possible, it is highly unlikely that the fire was an accident.

Every news source I read had a headline that said it was caused by arson, but the text of the stores all had no official statement from law enforcement or fire authorities that it was.

g, you’re not expecting this goober to actually read the text of the news story, are you? He’s only capable of scanning the headlines. In fact, the only reports he’s probably actually aware of are those on T.V., Faux news in particular, or maybe CNN if he was feeling a bit intellectually adventurous today.

Lots of fires are investigated as arson, and are concluded to be not arson.

All fires of unknown origin are investigated as possible arson.

I’m married to a handbag designer, which by Hasselbeckian reasoning is kind of like being the right hand of God, so I’m looking forward to visiting some plagues and smiting upon mine enemies.

Matt, though I’m reluctant to respond to such a idiotic question, I feel obliged. So here it goes. First of all, I don’t live in Alaska. I neither have the time, nor money to go there.

However, even if I did, and I gunned the perpatrator down, it would be considered murder, because it is already after the fact. If however I was present at the church when the arson took place, and I shot and killed the perp (which I would have) it would’ve been considered justifiable homicide.

Did that answer your question to your satisfaction.

And honestly, what are the chances, given the political climate and negative media coverage of Sarah Palin, that it was an accident.

I love this. Guy claims that it’s harder to believe that faulty wiring or Father Ted not shutting off the oven caused this church to burn down than it is that a San Francisco queer hacked off about Prop 8 – which Princess Palin had nothing to do with – drove to friggin’ Alaska and set a church on fire in hidden protest. The face of modern conservativism, y’all: insane cowards and gutless madmen.

And honestly, what are the chances, given the political climate and negative media coverage of Sarah Palin, that it was an accident.

I guess it’s payback for when the conservatives burned down Democratic Congressional candidate Darcy Burner’s house. Oh, sure, the fire department “determined it to be accidental,” but what do you expect from the fire-conservative-industrial complex?

Did that answer your question to your satisfaction.

Sure does. I sorta figured you’d give an answer like this. You yearn for death and destruction, but you don’t have the gumption to actually do anything. Typical modern conservative. I bet you’ve never even stood up in any way to someone who challenges your views. Ever beat down a hippie or a protestor or something like that? Would you, say, stomp an anti-prop 8 protestor if you got the chance or only if you wouldn’t get caught?

Matt, I’m an adult. I’m not going to respond to such juvenile questions. However, I assure you, I’ve gotten into a fair share of political debates with liberals over a wide range of issues.

My uncle for one is a liberal gun-control advocate and abortion supporter. The two of us have ruined a good many family gatherings with our debates. So yes, I’m no stranger to a good debate.

If however I was present at the church when the arson took place, and I shot and killed the perp (which I would have) it would’ve been considered justifiable homicide.

No need for the costly and time-wasting process of a trial!! Scotty already has the answer!

Love the straw-man scenario, too. It could be a scene right out of a TV movies.

There’s our Scotty, getting ready to sprinkle some glitter onto his decoupage at the ladies’ craft meeting, when suddenly a masked man bursts through the door. He’s dreadlocked and wearing a tie-dyed parka, and he brandishes a glass bottle with a rag stuffed in the top. “Down with Christianity and Sarah Palin!” he shouts. “Power to the People!”

He prepares to light the molotov cocktail, and hurl it, when Scotty goes for the Colt 45 in a concealed holster beneath his Christmas sweater, and nails the arsonist.

“Guess you picked the wrong Craft Meeting to mess with, hippie,” says Scotty.

Jimmy Chu created the universe

Father Ted not shutting off the oven

I thought he was still stuck on Craggy Island.

The two of us have ruined a good many family gatherings with our debates.

It speaks volumes that this is a point of pride for you.

there are still a few liberals hear and there, like a turd in a punch bowl

I’m guessing your English teacher wasn’t one of them, because this looks like faith-based learning to me.

Travel all the way to Alaska to set a fire to a former candidate’s former church because someone was mad that Palin lost and will now fade back into the knotty pine paneled woodwork where she belongs?

Whatever.

“The two of us have ruined a good many family gatherings with our debates. So yes, I’m no stranger to a good debate.”

Oh fuck yeah. I know your kind. Can’t fucking shut up about your Conservative Values to save your life, can you? Can never ever pass up a chance to tell your liberal relatives how wrong they are. I can just picture the scene:

Family: “Gosh, sure is cold today.”

Scottard: “Yeah, that just proves global warming is a myth, perpetrated by Big Environment!”

Family: “Wha?”

Scottard: “If I was there, and I was allowed to own a gun, and I could afford ammunition, I’d put a bullet in the forehead of the CEO of Big Environment Inc. Then they’d give me a medal and a parade, but not in liberal New York, no, I’d have my parade in Oklahoma City!”

Family: *rolleyes*

Have to say that killfile makes these one-sided dialogs somewhat entertaining (in contrast to actually having to deal with Scotched Bonnet’s incoherent ranting.

Commander of the Scottish Contingent during the First Crusade said,
December 14, 2008 at 21:24
Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the arsonist actually went out of his way to travel to Alaska, for such a reason.
I’m not going to immediately blame opponents of Proposition 8, but I wouldn’t rule it out either.

This comment is why you are a bigot.
I wouldn’t rule out your being a stinking mother fucking shit.

Oh boy, another holier-then-thou troll with a name of grandeur that’s inversely proportionate to how much his mother loved him. Yes yes, you’re very tough and scary with many large, powerful, throbbing guns to scare off eeeeevil doers. Say, why don’t you scurry up some links about Christians attacking mosques in the last few years? Then shut the hell up. Annoying little chatter squirrel.

Actually, there’s some science out there that says the appendix may serve some purpose in the digestion of, I believe, proteins. That’s not to say it is a vitally critically important organ, just that it’s not 100% useless yet.

The “it’s too complex to be random” argument also kinda glosses over the, “and there’s the factory over that that takes the base components, puts them together, and then sells it too you at a considerable mark-up.” part of their equation.

Matt, I’m an adult. I’m not going to respond to such juvenile questions.

Bullshit. You floated the claim that an anti-prop 8 activist actually travelled hundreds of fucking miles to Alaska to burn down Sarah Palin’s church to “punish her” even though she had absolutely nothing to do with the passing of Prop 8, apart from being an excellent example of the knuckle-dragging, hate-mongering, anti-intelligent thought yay-friggin’-hoo that makes up the modern-day GOP. Seriously, dude, the fact that you seem to expect me to take you as a serious human being proves you’re either, one, a parody of said knuckle-dragging yadda yadda or, two and most frighteningly, stone serious.

If the first is true, well, it’s obvious you’re not to be taken seriously, but if the second’s the case, then whoah, buddy. There’s no way in hell I could take anything so full of shit seriously. Nobody says something as dumb as that and gets to be taken as a fully functional adult. You may have a family and a job and all that good shit, but it’s only because American society has been carefully designed to keep walking brainstems like you buying shittily made Wal-Mart products.

An adult? And actual grown-up? Don’t make me laugh.

Um. Who cares?

If George Soros himself lit the fucking church on fire, it would have NOTHING to do with me, with you, with any political debate or any public policy question.

Remember my old “pal” Bill Ayers? You notice how the old “guilt by association” thing worked so well for McCain? These kinds of tactics only work when there is such an intense environment of fear that it overcomes all reason. Much as it pains you, that level of fear is no longer extant. People scratch their heads and say “huh? What the FUCK are you talking about?” And, of course, you can’t provide an answer because, well, there ISN’T one. A church burning here, a mugging there, it doesn’t have anything to do with anything being discussed here.

Go find something new, fer crissakes…

mikey

Sir Craig: Thanks for the link to the expanded version of the video. Now I’m sure that Hasselbeck is actually correct. Her only mistake is assuming that humans represent the pinnacle of the Great Designer’s efforts. Humans are actually just one more failed experiment along the road which led, ultimately, to the most successfully designed creature ever…the cockroach.

BTW: Hey Scotty…way to hijack a thread.

In way the thread is the same–mocking a person who thinks he’s been intelligently designed.

Dave –

Killfile is your friend.

My uncle for one is a liberal gun-control advocate and abortion supporter. The two of us have ruined a good many family gatherings with our debates. So yes, I’m no stranger to a good debate.

You guys and gals aren’t even going to notice when a parody troll throws the yellow flag on himself???

In way the thread is the same–mocking a person who thinks he’s been intelligently designed.

And who is the living repudiation of his position.

I don’t care who the straight man is, as long as he keeps feeding me lines.

Commander Fuckneck of the Cranial Rectosis Brigade,

Let’s suppose for a moment that someone actually took the incredibly unlikely path of traveling all the way to North Moronistan simply for the express purpose of burning down a church that had very little if anything to do with Prop 8. Let’s concede that it is possible, in the same way that it’s possible that at any moment my coffee cup here might break into song, that some eeevil librul torched the building out of revenge/anger/an overwhelming desire to roast marshmallows for s’mores. How about we stack that up against all the violence perpetrated in this country by folks on your side of the fence against their ideological opponents, starting with the dicksplat who walked into the UU church in Tennessee and then working back from there?

See, you lot really have a serious false equivalency problem. People picketing outside of and disrupting services in Mormon churches are NOT equal to some loon who walks into a kids’ play with a shotgun. You can’t find a real equivalent to Timothy McVeigh, Eric Rudolph or William Krar on our side because there AREN’T any. Sure, we think you’re stupid. Dangerously stupid. Laughably ignorant. Almost hopelessly mired in a primitive mindset that would put you more at home in the darkest ages of human history rather than the 21st century. The thing is, we don’t think you should fucking die for it. We don’t post pictures of your rallies and get-togethers and openly proclaim that the police should use live ammo on you. Despite ourselves, most of us still think maybe there’s some kind of chance we can reach you; even massively misanthropic cynical bastards like myself have some small glimmer of hope for that. You lot, you aren’t really interested in debate except perhaps the desire to get one up on someone else and to further reinforce this pretense of civility. What you really want to do is smash shit. You don’t want to talk. You want to hurt, injure and kill. Fortunately most of you are too scared of the consequences, both legal and social, to actually engage in such behavior but occasionally one of you manages to work up enough courage or insanity to get your hands bloody. It’s not enough to be right in your own mind; you want to use force, actual physical force, to make others either agree with you or be silent, permanently if necessary. That is the essential failing of the Right; you’re too scared of other ideas to allow them to exist alongside you and it’s one of the many reasons I abandoned your corrupt and honorless ideals.

Why are you all responding to one of my sockpuppets?

It’s not as if it wasn’t unmasked the very day I rolled it out, because I lost control of my temper and went on a ranting fit about DrDick under the above Scottish name, thus revealing quite clearly it was me again. But now that’s all somehow forgotten? And now, so many of you are getting into an argument that I equally clearly only started to smear liberals with accusations of, and associations with arson… no, I don’t even care about the (ahem) Truth, I just want you to keep paying attention to me, get sucked into unwinnable infuriating arguments, and keep repeating what ever google bomb I’m working on today for me. And you are. Just because I’m using a different name you’ve forgotten I already ruined. Remarkable.

Matt, though I’m reluctant to respond to such a idiotic question,

You’re a very poor liar. Now put your little monkey hat back on and dance some more.

And bang those little cymbals. They’re cute as a button.

Doesn’t the View end up going through these gals every couple months? Some ultra right-wing knob comes on, spouts garbage for several months, then goes so far that she looks like a complete dingbat and gets fired. Just to get replaced by some other dingbat.

I mean, I remember some black gal who thought Jesus rode a dinosaur not too long ago.

All told, I miss when Debbie Matenopoulos was on. At least she was sassy.

Shooting an arsonist to death in the commission of the act is not necessarily “justifiable” homicide. The response to the act must be consonant with the act itself. If the building was full of children, sure. If it was empty, killing the perp on the scene would be a disproportionate, and therefore un-justifiable, response to the damage being done — assuming the reichtard waving his big ol’ dick, er, gun around actually shot the perp and not some innocent bystander. The latter seems likelier when you consider how screeching with rage tends to close a person’s eyes. Just look at all those pictures of La Malkin.

Shooting an arsonist to death in the commission of the act is not necessarily “justifiable” homicide. The response to the act must be consonant with the act itself.

Okay…so…what you’re saying is we should set the arsonist on fire!

Shooting an arsonist to death in the commission of the act is not necessarily “justifiable” homicide.

I think the argument that’s being made is that shooting an anti-Prop 8 activist is justifiable homicide, and the arson is just the cherry on top.

so…what you’re saying is we should set the arsonist on fire!

Well, yes. Who would burn down a church? A witch, that’s who.

The response to the act must be consonant with the act itself.
Disenvowel the offender.

“Elizabeth Hasselback slaps down Charles Darwin:”

I’d like to get some slapping action going on with Elizabeth. I bet she’d turn complete trollop within a minute or so.

“I tell them they ought occasionally to think less of beautiful things like hummingbirds and orchids and sunflowers and think of other, less attractive things. They might, for example, think of the parasitic worms that live only in the eyeballs of human beings. Think of that worm boring its way through the eye of a boy sitting on the bank of a river in West Africa. A worm that’s going to make him blind. Are you telling me that God or an intelligent designer created this worm that can live in no other way than in an innocent child’s eyeball?” – David Attenborough, legendary English nature documentary maker.

So, if god’s a handbag designer, then there’s fads and fashions, right? Every few years, the old god/designer becomes passe, and everyone’s hot for the sassy new god who’s flashing his leatherware around, right?

And fashion-conscious girlies cast off their old gods and grab some new gods, just because everyone else is getting them, yes? While paying squillions of dollars for the privilege of being just like everyone else.

And with all this to-ing and fro-ing with new gods and old gods, they still keep losing stuff in their godly handbags. The quality of gods these days is frankly piss-poor.

Why, yes.

Yes.

I believe you have described perfectly the sudden rise in the popularity of Kabala among wealthy southern california socialites…

mikey

The sad thing online is that Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs has made many enemies and also continues to post pro-evolution things on his blog, which just makes his winger enemies more rabidly anti-evolution. They’re calling him Darwin Johnson now.

I had no idea about this, but it’s fuckin’ funny.

Oh, yes indeed.

To be in support of science, or knowledge, or empathy, or compassion, or just about anything other than tribal hatred and bigoted fear is to be excommunicated from the church of the right wing.

Please let them only become more rabid…

mikey

“I tell them they ought occasionally to think less of beautiful things like

the cellulite that plagues their asses and thighs and the beach paparazzi snapping photos that show up on the National Enquirer’s front page.

The rattlesnake is a device designed by the Creator of the Universe with needles for the injection of deadly poison at one end, and a noisemaker at the other end to warn when it is about to strike. When I consider the rattlesnake I wonder about the Creator of the Universe.
Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

The correct answer is that rattlesnake and parasitic eye-worm are part of the unknowable Divine Plan.

Or possibly punishment for tolerating homosexuals.

Why do I picture Ms. Junior Palin here going hunting with a bunch of “real men” to prove her conservative creds? And encountering a to-die-for fur coat, pre declawing and defanging? And fumbling around for the “tag”?

Why did my mind immediately run there?

Clearly Ms. Haselback is part of the Palin demographic.

Dear Sadly, No!

I would like to register a complaint!

I was not warned of the possibility that this video might cause my thumbs to launch violently into my eyes.

I am currently writing this via dictation, and my medical bills will be addressed to you.

You know, I would love to talk to god directly, but his agent is a bitch. Won’t promise that he will show up, won’t give headshots for promo work, and still wants 10% up front in advance. Don’t even begin to ask about the gays and shrimp rider.

We all know that those responsible for the best designs in accessories are disinclined to engage in activities that have even the remotest possibility to result in procreation.

Is she implying God is gay?

Oooooh! Burn!

Not to say, of course, that a rainbow or, say, a waterfall could ever begin to approach the perfect beauty of a finely crafted Gucci handbag but I’m begining to wonder if this bitch ever goes anywhere besides the studio and the mall.

I wonder what she thinks about when she sees a puddle of water? “My, there’s a finely crafted hole, perfectly designed to hold just that amount of water…”

Re the video:

Oh, I get it now. Opinions really are like assholes.

I like totally get it.

I mean i totally see teh purty kitty and i’m all like, “aww… who made this beautiful beast. And why are you putting him in that box Mr. Scientist with that radioactive apparatus?… Wait. It might be dead? It’s dead and alive?. WTF?” and then i totally open the box. and the cat is like not breathing. And Mr. Scientist says, “you’re the one who killed him when you opened the box.” And i’m all like, “nuh uhhhhh.”

Scientists are assholes and hence Darwin was like totally wrong.

QED.

Who’s the designer? Well for 2000 years they’ve been preaching it’s a paranormal pedophile who impregnated a teen girl who gave birth in some manger.

‘Lizbeth Hassleback, TV’s token dumb blond is probably going to hell for buying gay designer’s togs.

Darwin developed evolution because the geolgical record of his day did not support creation. Nothing has happened in science to upset the reality of an ancient Earth. I learned evolution in elementary school by reading Roy Chapman Andrews account of his exploration of the Gobi Desert by Model T caravan. I like the idea of my connection to all forms of life on Earth since my ancestors (mostly single cell organisms for the first few billion years through cordate worms to the the first mouse like insect eater). Through genetics I can now know how close my common ancestry is to any living creature. It does not bother me that I have 40% or so in common with fungus and 99%+ with chimps. It does however make me an environmentalist.

THANK YOU, ELIZABETH, FOR SUPPORTING GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING AMERICA!!!!!!!

Hmm, I can look on the tag on my clothes and they’ll tell me where they were manufactured. Can I look at the back of Liz’s head and find out where she was made? No? Well, I guess we weren’t intelligently designed.

How do morons like Elizabeth Hasselback get good paying jobs on national television? Or is she on the show to play the role of court jester?