Alternative Pat Boone shorter,

You haven’t heard about the well-oiled campaign

I would like to be part of a well-oiled campaign.

I’m sure he’s okay with losing the tax benefits of marriage, since marriage isn’t a governmental thing but a religious one. Which makes me wonder, since Proposition 8 raises taxes on married gays in California, did it need more than a simple majority?

If a counterproposition is to be started, I suggest that the focus be made on the tax benefits. That way, the California GOP can’t possibly be against it.

Every homosexual citizen has the same, identical rights as any other American.

Just as every black citizen has always had the same, identical right to vote in the South. The Constitution doesn’t say a thing about skin color. That was left up to the voters of the Republic. Anatole France quote, etc.

Why would anyone of any sexual persuasion have sex with Pat Boone? He is worse than terrorist attacks at killing the sex drive.

The drinks must be very tasty in Boonesland . I get him so mixed up with the Bunning character where I believe the drinks must be just heavenly .
All the world is a mint julep and its sorrows are not hang overs but those who are as uncivilized to notice an ungenteel thing of that sort .
Tsk

Since a majority of American citizens continually vote against prohibiting abortion, why don’t those anti-abortionists quit trying to thwart the will of the people?

Dispatches from Booneslund
Was saddened stop
Consecrated Constitution stop
Never were “rights” to those who dissented with the will of the majority stop
Bill of rights stop stop stop stop
Must take nap stop

Sez Pat:

Have you not seen the angry distorted faces of the rioters[?]

Insert any angry distorted face you can imagine (that has recently appeared on these web pages, for example). And she’s not even demonstrating, just reacting to the “liberal elite bias media.”

Or on TBogg’s pages, for example. German time, my plump Kraut ass.

Ahhhhh, Sadly No is functioning properly again, and the world is back to normal. Kind of sad that a fucked-up internet site could so seriously disrupt my life.

covenantal relationship
Conventional
Covenant
I , so help me you tube , will show you mine

OUTSTANDING!

Slavery was abolished, blacks and women obtained the rights to vote, and these true rights were not obtained by threats and violent demonstrations and civil disruption (though these things did occur, of course), but by due process, congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification.

WOW!

Insert any angry distorted face you can imagine (that has recently appeared on these web pages, for example).

Malkin made a face, and it did indeed stick that way.

What troubles me so deeply, and should trouble all thinking Americans, is that there is a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai and the hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists.

I’m deeply troubled by the real, unbroken line extending straight from Mr. Boone’s ass to his flunky’s typing fingers.

Izzat the shirt Bat Poone was wearing when the photo was taken?

Is it obligatory to link to this when we hear from Bat?

a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai …
It may once have been unbroken, but right now there are several large gaps where Mr Boone has been snorting it.

M. Bouffant said,
December 14, 2008 at 3:36

Izzat the shirt Bat Poone was wearing when the photo was taken?

Yes. No photoshopped flags were harmed in the making of this image.

God, what an asshole.

Malkin made a face, and it did indeed stick that way.

It looks like Pat Boone had his face stretched, and it stuck that way.

Again, a Muslim fundamentalist would have absolutely nothing to do with what in general would be a secular liberal homosexual, unless it was to execute them.

So, I’m pretty sure that line’s broke.

On the other hand, there’s absolutely no break in the line of political and social beliefs between Muslim fundamentalists and Pat Boone. Except Muslim fundamentalists might feel worse about stealing music from Little Richard to play for the white people.

It looks like Pat Boone had his face stretched, and it stuck that way.

Stretched and tanned. Not suntanned, hide-tanned. Seriously, I’ve seen saddlebags that looked more fresh-faced.

Pat Boone even makes the flag look FAAAAAbulous!

No way, mofo.

I saw Pat Boone’s dick in that box.

If the asshole was any “shorter”, he couldn’t have BEEN in that box.

Gnome Sane?

mikey

Ifthethunderdontgetya,

I had always thought that Pat Boone became famous for covering other people’s material, but thanks for showing us that he originated this holiday classic.

You know what I love? I love the kindergarten-ish naive view that, because the constitution doesn’t specifically mention in particular that everyone has equal rights under the law for situations x, y, and z, it means that the constitution is saying that denial of equal rights for situations x, y, and z are peachy keen.

Under this type of interpretation, the constitution doesn’t say anything about Pat Boone’s right to not be pelted with rocks and garbage. Which means it’s just peachy keen to pelt Pat Boone with rocks and garbage.

No photoshopped flags were harmed in the making of this image.

No concern for the unicorn, rainbow, clouds, sky & stars, I see. Truly, this is the “post-shame” society.

Which means it’s just peachy keen to pelt Pat Boone with rocks and garbage.

Please don’t. I can’t stand that bastard.

Hi Roxanne!!

We still on for thursday?

mikey

Truly, this is the “post-shame” society.

It’s true. But does anyone under 70 take Pat Boone seriously?

Does anyone over 70 take Pat Boone seriously? My dad, who’s 80, would probably say Pat Boone is a dickweed.

Boone wrote a column in response to criticism he’s received:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=83466

Shorter for this one: I love gays, especially when they become straight!

We still on for thursday?

Actually, the truck is coming by on Friday this week. Holiday schedules and all.

Counting the hours!

They really seem to love to talk up the completely fair democratic process. Voted against twice now, they resort to all the time.

So, assuming the CSC doesn’t invalidate Prop 8 in 2009, how will they respond to the repeal passing through a democratic process in 2010?

The trendlines are so clear that I remain perplexed that they would put so much focus on the validity of statewide initiatives. The dominoes will start falling in the other direction soon enough. Seems to me, they should already be retrenching into justifications for their bigotry that don’t require majority support.

“God, what an asshole.”

Yeah. What the fuck happened to “just shut up and sing?” On second thought, how about “just shut up?”

What the fuck happened to “just shut up and sing?”

That only applies to liberals, doncha know.

Hearing him sing “Crazy Train” makes me think his bumhole has seen more than a little KY jelly.

Shorter for this one: I love gays, especially when they become straight!

Pat must be really happy about this:

Charlie Crist kissed a girl.

Sort of…“Crist kissed Rome briefly at the end of the ceremony — perhaps too briefly.”

Boone:

The Constitution says nothing about marriage, and shouldn’t. Marriage is not a governmental creation; it is a time honored and biblically ordained institution that is subject not to the government but to the will of the people.

Good God, the Supreme Court was so out of line when it agreed to hear Loving v. Virginia!

By the way, I think this constitutes a line breaking of some sort, but I’m not sure which.

Poor fucker.

Charlie Crist is eleven ways from fucked.

Of course, he could be honest and…

Ah, hell.

They created the stupid. Now they have to say it…

mikey

“Crist kissed Rome briefly at the end of the ceremony — perhaps too briefly.”

Well, it’s impressive that he kissed Rome at all, considering how it was the Romans who had him crucified.

I doubt if Charlie will spend much time kissing France.

I kissed London.
I kissed France
I kissed a girl in her underpants.

BTW, thunder, I linked that @ 0336 or so… Two (grate) minds, etc.

The full paragraph from the Orlando Sentinel article linked by Wonkette:

Crist kissed Rome briefly at the end of the ceremony — perhaps too briefly. She put her hands on his face and kissed him again. Afterward, the couple walked out of the church and addressed waiting reporters.

That’s right, they left the church and then address reporters. They didn’t slip into an awaiting limousine that whisked them off to the local airport. They addressed reporters. Taking questions about their love for each other, no doubt.

This is cool: “Rome is president of Franco American Novelty Co., her family’s New York-area Halloween costume company.”

Franco American Novelty Co.

Purveyors of humourous rubber SpaghettiOs!

When in Rome,
SHUT UP SMUT

http://uglydress.com/prompatriot.html

Pat’s prom date. A match made in heaven, I am sure.

And for the newly wed couple, Domino Masks!

Franco American Novelty Co.

Oh, right, French ticklers.

And for the newly wed couple, Domino Masks!

Including the “Phantom Economy”. I bet that’ll be a big seller this year!

GOOD GRAVY!!

What troubles me so deeply, and should trouble all thinking Americans, is that there is a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai and the hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists.

Thank God I’m not one of those “thinking” Americans a la’ Pat Boone. I’m just one of them hatemongering Liberal Fascists.

J— was the one who also linked the Pat flips his whig youtube, M. Bouffant.

My links on this thread (so far) are to 1) dick in a box, and 2) Charllie Crist marries Carole Rome (two things which are completely unconnected).

Including the “Phantom Economy”.

And even better, #33441, Voo Doo Economy!

Including the “Phantom Economy”. I bet that’ll be a big seller this year!

…and if you just pushed the little right-turn finger to the next page, you’d have discovered the […drum roll…]
Vooodoo Economy!

(brought to you by the voodoo economists, of course)

poop!

Oh, sorry. I should not have mentioned any names at all (no blame game intended) until I master the art & science of READING!!

I’ll certainly grant you that C. Crist & C. Rome will remain completely unconnected.

That’s right, they left the church and then address reporters. They didn’t slip into an awaiting limousine that whisked them off to the local airport. They addressed reporters.

Well it takes all kinds, J–, and there are no hard-and-fast rules about post-wedding etiquette —
— What’s that?
Really? OK.
I have just been informed that in fact there is a rule about ‘hard and fast’.

I didn’t want to click the little right-turn finger because it looked like something somewhat different at first.

I have just been informed that in fact there is a rule about ‘hard and fast’.

OOOppss.

Sorry honey.

Lemme getta towell or something…

That’s bad gravy.

Can we skip to the part where Rob Halford beats the shit out of Pat for ruining one of JP’s songs?

Thank you.

Why does Pat Boone hate American boxes?

Crist must want to be president, to do something so idiotic. It’s a wonder the world doesn’t explode from all the repression, denial and sexual guilt going on all the time. And that’s just the Republicans. Democrats might have their share of problems, but at least they don’t believe that God spends all his time sniffing panties.

M. Bouffant said,

December 14, 2008 at 4:57
========================================================
The only reason I mentioned it was for the chance to make my leetle joke.

Y’know, if I was god…

Yeah. I’d likely sniff some panties.

hoo nose, god could be some kinda gangsta thug hoodlum…

mikey

…at least they don’t believe that God spends all his time sniffing panties.

While prizing Americans over all other people, except for the fact that He hates most of them for worshiping the wrong God, or the right one in the wrong way, or being fayguts, or being unwhite, or watching naughty movies, or smoking dope, or voting Democrat, or insufficiently supporting the troops, or listening to rock-n-roll, or faltering in their zeal for carrying out the will of their Leader.

…but at least they don’t believe that God spends all his time sniffing panties.

On the other hand...

Sorry, M. Bouffant, I didn’t see you link at 3:36.

“I was taken with her right away,” Crist said recently. “You know how it is when you fall in love. It’s pretty overwhelming — a very cool thing.”

I particularly liked her…. breasts. Breasts are so hot, as you know, very much like bags of sand.

Rumor has it that Pat shaves. Everything.

or being unwhite

That’s not true! God simply ADORES black people, as long as they think and behave exactly like white Evangelical Republicans – without, of course, presuming to believe that they are as good as white Evangelical Republicans.

Everyone knows that long ago God raffled off the Christian virtues and black people got “humility”, “thankfulness in adversity”, and “turning the other cheek.” But I hear that there is some very nice sweet potato pie waiting for them, you know where!

Tell Pat Boone that Little Richard said to go fuck himself. Seriously? It’s almost 2009, why is it the only celebrities that are allowed to prattle about politics without being told to “shut up and sing” are washed out old hacks like this pitiful bastard and Chuck Norris?

While prizing Americans over off all other people,
Fized.

I apologize for my role in the war on Crist Mrs.

My self-criticism will be issued shortly.

I’d take PAt Boone way more seriously if he put his junk in a box and took a picture of it.

Wait, what? Seriously? Oh. When then I guess those homofags are just like car bombers. Thanks for setting me straight, Pat!

At least Evel Kneivel wore a stupid shirt like that and broke all the bones in this body.

I thought entertainers were supposed to “just shut up about politics”?

Are you unaware of the raging demonstrations in our streets, in front of our churches and synagogues, even spilling into these places of worship, and many of these riots turning defamatory and violent?

Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am well aware of such rage and violence not only in front of but as a matter of fact in places of worship.

And, seriously: Pat fucking Boone?

Christ on a saltine cracker. How long must this individual continue to pop up, and never for any apparent reason, during my lifetime? He’s been a severe annoyance since at least the goddam ’50s.

…but at least they don’t believe that God spends all his time sniffing panties.

Those are galaxy-sized panties.

Pretty rotten thing that happened in Mumbai, huh?

Why yes Pat. Yes it was. Shame if someone used it as a cheap launching point for some unrelated hobby-horse, but who would be so vulgar?

(someone with nice taste in shirts)

(and gift boxes)

Shame if someone used it as a cheap launching point for some unrelated hobby-horse, but who would be so vulgar?

Probably someone with a penchant for white shoes both before AND after Labor Day. You know, the type of guy who would wear a shirt made out of an American flag.

You’d never expect vulgarity from a guy like that.

Launching hobby horses sounds somewhat dangerous.

…3, 2, 1, ignition….

oh, man, it’s just rocking back and forth!!! WTF!!!

That picture creeps me out. His eyes follow me around the room. I think that the reason Pat Boone pops up (heh) all the time is because he’s all they have. Are there any other stars like Pat who would step foot in those jebus shows? I can’t think of any.

His eyes follow me around the room.

If you think his eyes following you is bad, don’t click the link in the first comment.

His eyes follow me around the room.
I was thinking the same thing – if he had his finger up and pointing, and a top hat on, he could be Uncle what’s-his-name.

President Clinton’s Fresh Hispanic-style cheese Linguine

Ingredients:
6 pints speechless dingo, salted
1 outmoded fresh Hispanic-style cheese, imitatively sauteed
1 swelter’d venom, kindheartedly swirled
5 portions crocodile tongue
1 ounce dill
1 pound mustard

Pick over the ingredients and discard excess lard. Separate dingo nose from brain. Inflate brain. Mix the fresh Hispanic-style cheese with the swelter’d venom over high heat in a jar. Stuff the resulting potion into the dingo. Crush the crocodile tongue,, and the mustard blithely. Glaze the crocodile tongue, dill, and the mustard fatefully. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Leave raw. Serves 2 besotted enemies with x-rated stomachs.

So I have to ask, RB—

What kind of file did the other Bubba’s name come from? Was it a “famous persons” file? Or just a list of names?

Bored Inquiring minds and all that.

There’s a file that comes along with the JanusNode download that has a few names in it. I was considering adding more but that kind of thing requires perpetual upkeep. It’s still hooked in to the recipe generator but so are the sillier names.

Right now the recipe problem is too many fish: seems wrong but fish are just not as funny in recipes as mammals.

…and yet fish(y) pun threads are chronic here (and I haven’t seen a mammal pun thread – or at least my feeble brain has not retained it.) Very thought provoking – pikas my interest.

One cup of elk is funnier than one cup of jackfish, pipefish, snapper, etc. It’s a crazy fucking world.

Hmm, I don’t think I’ve added baby versions of things, like kittens and puppies and so forth.

…smolt (Not if that’s not cuddly, I don’t know what is!)

not = now (stupid fingers!)

A new direction for recipes: http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

It wouldn’t be Christmas without Pat Boone in his stars and stripes shirt.

RB, where can I get more JanusNode structures (e.g., recipes) and stuff?

Pat Boone needs to read a fucking history book before he mouths off about anything other than how to steal and ruin other people’s music. The first thing to learn about is called THE MOTHERFUCKING CIVIL WAR because it was that, and not “congressional deliberations and appropriate ratification”, that resulted in the abolition of slavery in this country.

Pat Boone: READ A BOOK!

Fuck.

One cup of elk is funnier than one cup of jackfish, pipefish, snapper, etc. It’s a crazy fucking world.

Although “kettle of cuttlefish” and “bidet of snapper” are more poetic.

Pat Boone: the Vanilla Ice of early rock and roll, and the entire country’s right-wing-crap-forwarding grandfather.

The Constitution says nothing about marriage, and shouldn’t.

He says, without a hint of irony.

SECTION 2. Section 7.5 is added to Article I of the California Constitution, to read:

SEC. 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Proposition 8

Damn! He looks like Dale Evans!

So, what do sexual jihadis get in heaven… seventy-two hussies?

Pat Boone, the unfunny Eric Olthwaite. A boring little tit.

Although “kettle of cuttlefish” and “bidet of snapper” are more poetic.
One Kettle of fish is a recognised unit in the Apothecary system, equal to 17.2 fluid ounces.

@ M. Bouffant I didn’t see this until this morning. Just to be clear, the first thing I thought was, “Wow, what a nice unicorn. Pat Boone really knows how to spread the magic.”

The fact is, Pat Boone is a great American and you who criticise him and just terrorists who hate USA.

Someone check Gary Ruppert’s spark plugs, he’s running really rough these days.

boone’s made an entire of being a paid shill, a hack and a pretender. His only talent lies in his willingness to geek for whomever happens to be writing the checks.

Speaking of weird eyes following you:

http://991.com/newgallery/Pat-Boone-Speedy-Gonzalez-272910.jpg

I just have no words.

The fact is, Pat Boone understands that any deviation from the American English system of spelling breaks the line between civilization and barbarism and endangers the Heartland.

RB, where can I get more JanusNode structures (e.g., recipes) and stuff?

I believe the site has some additional packages. If you want send me an e-mail and I’ll send you what I have; the problem might be that I’ve modified many of the files so they may contain additional surprises or problems.

One of the easiest ways to start is to copy some ASCII text into the JanusNode output window and hit “Make TextDNA”.

It’s almost 2009, why is it the only celebrities that are allowed to prattle about politics without being told to “shut up and sing” are washed out old hacks like this pitiful bastard and Chuck Norris?

Because the last thing anyone wants is for Pat Boone, who I swear to God I thought was dead, to sing.

…Pat Boone, who I swear to God I thought was dead…

I get the same thing with Chuck Norris.

Undead crooner is undead.

Honestly unable to tell if his mug is shooped or not … & that’s just never a good thing.

But damn, would he make an awesome running-mate for Palin in 2012 or what?!? Name-brand recognition up the wazoo, & he can help Sarahcuda look more pitbullish too: Teh Wizard O’ Wonderbread probably uses more make-up & hairspray than she does … hell, they can even share wardrobes (within the bounds of “Wholesome GOP Traditional Family Values”) & save a small fortune.

Yes indeed, the 21st-Century GOP needs to pick Pat Boone for Veep. Older than McCain (possibly even creepier, too), fundamentalist as David Koresh & bland as sawdust – he’s perfect!

Haileselassielujah!

The fact is, the other Gary’s a pretty obvious closet case. On that TV there’s a woman with her breastuses hanging out, but he’s just been clockin’ ME. I know I’m pretty, but I ain’t as pretty as a coupla titties.

If you think his eyes following you is bad, don’t click the link in the first comment.

Can I just say, worst Christmas gift evar? “I’d like to exchange this for a better quality item… and not in the extra-small, please.”

My god is a great and glorious panty-sniffing god. Not to mention the couch cushions.