Shorter Gateway Pundit
Posted on December 11th, 2008 by Brad
Rescuing 50 Million People From Brutal Regimes Has Given Bush a Bad Name With Muslims
- Ungrateful Muslims are mad at Bush for invading their countries and torturing people — what gives?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
It’s all being done to scare the shit out of YOU putz!
Glad to see it’s working…
Yeah, if you offered to “rescue” Americans at the cost of their electricity and drinkable water, I’m sure all those Republicans would sign right up for that.
What fools these wingnuts be!
Yeah! And who are the AP going to blame the next time Iraq invades itself?
HUH????????
The ungrateful Wogs never could appreciate the civilizing influence of the West, much to their cost. Why, you’d think the Opium Wars and their aftermath, the British Raj and the partition of India and Pakistan, the Spanish conquest of Latin America, even back to the Roman Empire…if you listened to these modern commentators, you’d think all this was a bad thing.
Ingrates.
Silly AP. If you paid attention to them, you’d think George “Codpiece” Bush was reviled and hated all across South Asia. Ha! He is loved! The grateful people of Iraq can hardly wait to show him just how much they love him.
And kept Abu Ghraib open and operating.
It’s really quite simple: when you genuinely “liberate” somebody, they are usually very grateful. See the ecstatic scenes in Paris back in 1944. When you replace their politically oppressed yet generally safe life with a life of constant danger and hardship, they have trouble seeing the difference between you and your predecessor. This is just ordinary people using common sense.
Oh, and if anyone cares, I’m still having site issues on different computers/browsers/OS. Is this really a propogation issue? When exactly did you make the move to the new server?
…using common sense.
Uh, yep that is the problem.
The hypocrisy about ‘liberating’ Iraqis has always been the most repulsive part of the endeavor, to me. I much prefer the people who say, “I want to kill some fuckin’ ragheads!”, or “We need Oil!”. At least they are rather honest.
Those ungrateful SOB’s wouldn’t know Democracy™ if it blew up right in their marketplaces while they were shopping!
Ah, the comments:
All I’ve seen from Iraq is footage of happy boys and girls and older people prospering! I’m not being sarcastic, I really just don’t understand it. People on the left point to them all the time as examples of how we’re unwanted…but since I distrust anything that exits their mouths…who are they really?
KRKahn | 12.11.08 – 10:20 am | #
Me, are they on different internet providers? The providers update DNS records on different schedules …
Dear Republicans,
Please continue worshipping George W. Bush. Please continue forever. Publicly proclaiming your undying love for the most hated president in history is the perfect way to get more Republicans back in office.
All I’ve seen from Iraq is footage of happy boys and girls and older people prospering!
There are none so blind as those who will not watch any channel other than Fox News.
I’m jim, & I approve this message.
So only about one in 50 had to die for the “liberation” of Iraq & Afghanistan? That’s just PEACHY!
So obviously, Americans would have no complaints if, say, about six million of THEM got smoked by a foreign occupier … who also ruined their electricity, sewage & entire national economy in the process – as long as that occupier was giving them elections where all the candidates were chosen from a list supplied by said occupier – amirite?
Yes indeed, I can just hear their grateful cries of joy now.
Wait, no, sorry – that was just gas.
A quarter of the Iraqi population is now dead, maimed, or displaced.
I don’t think they’ll want to be friends with us.
These “shorters” are always amusing, but this one made me laff out loud.
Meanwhile, what Scott said. Yes, Gateway, continue to praise the Chimpmeister. It’s only right.
All I’ve seen from Iraq is footage of happy boys and girls and older people prospering!
Iraq is assuredly the best of all possible worlds!
“happy boys and girls and older people prospering!”
How did he know the name of my first solo album?
It’s a shame that picture doesn’t have some photoshopping, with that wide open mouth and all.
As I remember it, the point of attacking Iraq wasn’t to “liberate” anyone, it was to stop the coming mushroom clouds laced with anthrax from bombs delivered by drone planes or fired out of big aluminum tubes.
These idiots couldn’t even do an imperial invasion right. The wingnuts are actually right about one thing: you have to kill a lot of the civilians and install an imperial government under the boot of a hand-picked strongman to succeed at such an enterprise. Otherwise, don’t bother. Saddam used to be our hand-picked strongman, but he got too uppity. The neocons thought they’d put that inept liar Chalabi in Saddam’s place. Wow, that was a great idea!
Wingnuts are mad at Bush and his neocon buddies now not because they were imperialists, but because they were incompetent imperialists.
The wingnuts are actually right about one thing: you have to kill a lot of the civilians and install an imperial government under the boot of a hand-picked strongman to succeed at such an enterprise.
Indeed. We differ with them only in thinking that we shouldn’t do it.
I bet the Mayberry Machiavellis thought they were so clever attempting to steal a country while lying to the plebes about it. IMO that’s a big part of what the odious Bush smirk was expressing.
Of course this clown is reporting live from his office in downtown Fallujah.
I don’t think the wingers are mad at all about the incopetence displayed in Iraq. What they are mad about is GETTING CAUGHT at being incompetent, resulting in a stopage of the flow of wingnut welfare – ultimately all they care about. Remember, government is inherently incompetent no matter who runs it. All that matters is that said incompetence results in $$ for them and not for lazy dark people.
When the radical Islamists explode their next mentally challenged suicider or blow up a meeting in Europe the AP is going to have a hard time placing the blame on Bush.
Um, it’s not yet January 20th, and a suicide bomber just killed 46 and wounded 100 in Kirkuk, so yeah, we still can blame Bush.
Dumb meltyface.
The moniker “Gateway Pundit” always gets me thinking about the names these clowns anoint themselves with. Many, from Pajamas media to Hot Air to the historically self serving “Gates of Vienna” have a fairly clear provenance, but in some cases the meaning and origin is so murky and essentially non sequitor that they fall into the lower right “Embarrassing/Laughable” quadrant.
Such is the case with Gateway Pundit. Gateway? Gateway HOW, exactly? Like a gateway drug, perhaps? You start with this dork, and soon enough find yourself masturbating to Day by Day lactation porn? What gateway is it he’s referring to? What meaning should one attach to the title? A gate in a fence, the snout of a pit bull snarling dog spit at the mailman as he jealously guards his domain of rusted old washing machines and an old, half – buried tricycle?
And then there’s the title he claims for himself, “Pundit”. Can you define yourself as a pundit? Merely by holding forth, offering an opinion in a public forum, are you then once and forever a “Pundit”? Does that make the crazy old man downtown sternly lecturing the parking meters in matters of public policy and education a pundit also?
I would think that it’s more an honorary title, to be used to describe someone you have decided has just a little more to say about a given topic than the great unwashed masses. But then, I suppose it’s possible that it was indeed his constituency who originally described him as such, although I had no idea that people on 72 hour hold as a danger to themselves or others had access to the world wide web…
mikey
not to detract from your point, mikey, which is certainly valid—but Gateway Pundit is from St. Louis, which is where he derives his moniker.
Me, are they on different internet providers?
Yes, two different providers, which makes it especially puzzling. I sort of understand the propagation issue, since I went through it with my own website, but this seems to be taking a long time.
If their web host was slow to make the initial update, that could be part of the problem.
Also, Me, you may have different providers but their providers may be the same somewhere up the chain.
Gateway HOW, exactly? Like a gateway drug, perhaps?
I just always assumed he used a Gateway computer, myself. I wouldn’t expect any more depth than this:
“Lessee, I wannabe a pundit…and I use my computer…Computer Pundit? Nah…too many syllables…
Hey! My computer is from GATEWAY!
GATEWAY PUNDIT!
Hah! I’m so clever!”
Thanks, Simba. I guess I can tough it out for awhile longer.
So for now all we can do is use the links at the top of the individual pages to move forward to the latest? Keep refreshing that page until another one pops?
Seems a little odd to me to be a DNS problem, as the SN! server IP didn’t change, and that on a computer with no cached SN! pages, it still comes up with little Miss Piggy G.
Can we at least get an assurance that someone, somewhere, with some kind of technical capacity, is actually looking into this problem?
I am iBook Pundit! Tremble bofore my skills: keyboarding skills, bookmarking skills, HTML skills, etc.
EDIT: “BEFORE” my skills, rather.
So…just speculating here…how sure are you, Binky, that the S,N! IP has remained the same? If it has changed, DNS propagation could certainly be an issue since forwarding DNS servers vary somewhat in the degree to which they honor the time-to-live attribute of the records they are caching. Browsers, too.
The other thing it could be is if a caching service like Akamai is involved somehow, the caches might not be getting updated thanks to the server move (and IP change?).
Surely it will get sorted out eventually.
Tremble bofore my skills: keyboarding skills
*snerk*
So we’re back to “Saddam was a bad guy” as justification for invading Iraq. Wake me up when these guys have a new idea.
Pundits should be named after where they are conceived, like Sarah Palin’s children. Under the Bleachers Pundit. Ford Pinto Back Seat Pundit. Ned Flanders Home for Unwed Mothers Pundit.
In the Parking Lot at a Motley Crue Show Pundit?
Yeah, I’m also having the propagation issue. The SN start page for me is “Shorter Jackie **GINGRICH** Cushman”. I’m getting tired of looking at her. Hopefully this will resolve itself soon.
Switching to Open DNS might help but I’m too lazy right now. I’m having some other problems with my PC and might have to do a restore install and I’m not looking forward to that at all.
He saved the Iraqi people from these evil thugs
Well, except for the million and a half or so that he helped kill.
Backyard grill pundit?
NzNIcky, the term “collateral damage” absolves all possible guilt for that in wingnutland. Nice and tidy.
This is war. People die in war. Duh. Now watch this drive.
Hear ye, hear ye! The Law of the Intertubes shall now and forever after proclaims that pundit naming shall obey the following procedure:
First, a pundit may name himself or herself however they so please at their initial introduction to the public.
Second, once they have made a claim that rates a seven out of ten on the crazy-stupid metric system (as evidenced by a “Heh. Indeed.” from Instapundit, a link from Pam Atlas, or some such similar notice), the pundit shall henceforth be renamed to reflect the craziness-stupidity of that claim.
Third, the renaming can occur multiple times. Once an initial renaming has occurred, the pundit shall have no control whatsoever over their name.
Yeah, them. And the four or five million who those dead people were loved by, related to, fathers and sons and widows and orphans; aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces.
And the millions more who are displaced or refugees, without hope or assistance, all their accumulated worldly possessions gone forever.
Can’t imagine why the US isn’t more popular over there. What do they WANT from us?
mikey
noen’s suggestion, somewhat generalized, might help. No Internet law says you have to use the DNS server provided by your ISP, and if you Google “public DNS servers” you can find some to use. I’ve found that some servers will not be as fast if you are not their customer, but that usually only applies to ISP servers. Also, be careful those of you on corporate or school networks, changing your DNS server may mean you will lose access to internal servers, although just temporarily until you change back.
Clearly the dirty Muslims were lacking in people willing to shout at them “BUT YOU WILL ADMIT THAT THE SURGE IS WORKING!!!”. That would have helped.
All I’ve seen from Iraq is footage of happy boys and girls and older people prospering!
I didn’t know “to prosper” was an observable action.
I just prospered in my mouth a little.
I’d like to “prosper” in HIS mouth a little.
I don’t even know what I mean by that.
He filled the marshes in Iraq with water and brought democracy to the Middle East.
Yet wetlands restoration in the U.S. is mocked by Republicans. Those silly Iraqis still use water, like from the toilet.
I would call myself ‘Akvapundit’, but then I would have to pun.
their next mentally challenged suicider
I thought the propaganda about “Islamists are so evil that they trick Downs-syndrome civilians into carrying bombs” was quietly let slide about a week after the initial claims.
I didn’t know “to prosper” was an observable action.
It only is if people are prospering really, really hard. That’s how good the Iraqis have it!
It’s also possible that the goober who posted that meant to say “perspiring”.
He filled the marshes in Iraq with water and brought democracy to the Middle East.
Wait – wasn’t the goal to drain the swamp?
Oh, Pundit? 50 million? Ah, you’re lumping Afghanistan in w/ Iraq. Is that the Afghanistan that is currently 70+% controlled by The Taliban? Yes, Bush did a very good job of imposing democracy there.
A job that an undocumented landscape worker could have done for much less. Hell, we could have towed icebergs to the marshes & filled them w/ water for less than we’ve already spent
Above: “Our” enemies, as seen by GP. In about that order.
P. S.: We’ll be blaming Bush for at least as long as Bush spent blaming Clinton. Eight to ten yrs., minimum.
Mr. President George Willard Bush was planning on spending his retirement in Iraq, helping with the reconstruction there, except that Muslin countries don’t drink alcohol and our jet pilot hero has worked up a mighty thirst.
Mr Pundit¹ seems to have borrowed his line of thinking from the English Establishment,² who traditionally rationalised UK policies in Ireland in the same way.
“Those Irish no-hopers show no gratitude for the good things we do for them… so we don’t have to feel guilty about doing bad things to them, because they deserve them anyway for being a shower of ungrateful bastards.”
¹ Good manners prevent me from addressing him as ‘Gateway’ until we have been formally introduced
² Or ‘The Encroachment’, as Leo Baxendale prefers to call them.
Big surprise. He bought the Karen Hughes line. And the hook and sinker as well. He’s pissed because those stoopid Moozlems didn’t understand when Karen hughes told them how wonderful the US and W are and how they should love us so much. Woota buncha ingrates.
I thought Commander Codpiece was planning to spend his retirement in Argentina. Where they have no extradition.
Also on the Bush Achievement List:
Liberated 50 million or so Americans from their health insurance.
Liberated so many Americans we can’t count from their jobs, retirement savings, investments, & so on.
Liberated millions of American from what little brainpower they had to begin w/.
As an internet traditionalist I would have to call myself the Pig Islander Pundit which sort of scans. But I would also like to introduce the idea of the Punditometer which measures the level of accuracy and/or perceptiveness of said punditry. Thus when a negative value is encountered the automatic depunditirisation process is entrained and one goes back to being just folks. I do not see the need for a public ceremony where the ex-pundits cheetos are crushed into the ground in front of the former pundit but some recognition should be made in the titles of the website ie. ‘Wunce Ay waz a Pundit, Now I is a normal folk.’
But for those who consistently hit a high value eg. Glenn Greenwald, there should a promotion to the advanced level of Guru.
If you think your DNS servers aren’t working correctly, you can add an IP address with its hostname directly on your computer. This will override the IP address for the same hostname that you would normally get from your ISP.
On Windows, go to Start, Run, and enter:
c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\hosts
It will ask you what to open the file with. Choose Wordpad.
Then at the bottom of the file, put a line like this:
87.118.126.84 http://www.sadlyno.com sadlyno.com
And save the file. You shouldn’t have to reboot, but you might need to restart your browser.
Argh, blog software thinks it is so smart. Don’t put “http://” in the line, put (without the spaces around that .)
87.118.126.84 www . sadlyno.com sadlyno.com
So, um, other than William Jefferson and Milorad Blagojevich, how many corrupt Demmycrats have their been in the past decade or so? Compared to how many Republicans?
I’d love to see a real breakdown, based on party, office, crimes, and amount of money involved.
I would call myself ‘Akvapundit’, but then I would have to pun.
You already punned it.
Well, in the damning with faint praise category, it should be noted that a significant percentage of them were born free.
(humming Me and Bobby McGee)
Did Gateway Pundit look at the ark of the covenant? His face appears to be melting.