Mister Jingo Summoned It

Don’t We Know Archaic Barrel?

Each Christmas season, I notice an increase in traffic to this post, on Google searches for “Pogo Christmas song.” I’m sure the resulting page must frustrate the poor dears a bit, as I only allude to the song and don’t quote it in full.

It’s worth doing, however, as it’s my favorite carol, and I bellow it out whenever the rest of you ginks are assaying “Deck the Halls.”

I anticipate its return will forever displace “The Carol of the Bells” from the house speakers at every shopping mall in America. About time, too.

Only the first two verses come from memory. I had to look the rest of it up. From the magnificently silly mind of Walt Kelly, I give you…

Deck Us All with Boston Charlie

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don’t we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!


Above: Dschinghis Khan – ‘Moskau’ with English subtitles (3:20)

Above: Joe Cocker – ‘A Little Help With My Friends’ with English subtitles (4:06)

Above: The Clash – ‘Complete Control’ with English subtitles (3:12)


Comments: 57


I love that Joe Cocker vid. Someone has a very funny friend.


Ah, the simple joys of mondegreens.


I love how there’s a blogger out there who finds himself speechless because a cartoonist invented the word “yok!”

I wonder if he flat out passes out whenever he hears the latest Snoop-Dawg song. OMG! I’ve got the vizzapors!


Walt Kelly nonsense FTW.

Please plorridge hlot, please plorridge clold, please plorridge in the plot, nline dlays lold.

or LOL’d.


I’m also fond of “Good King Sauerkraut, look out! On your feets uneven …”

The Pogo Christmas morning strips, with all the animals greeting and singing and filled with joy, are filled with rare beauty. And in lucky years, there’s a quiet bit in which Pork’ Pine and Pogo exchange gifts.


Good King Sauerkraut looked out,
On his feets uneven…


[Cripes, you beat me to it by a fraction of a something.]

Dragon-King Wangchuck

I want to Rock ‘n Roll all night,
And part of every day!


Thanks for the moment of Supreme Cognitive Dissonance, Gav…

I’m riffing through 170-plus comments on Ben Shapiro’s casual genocidal musings, enjoying the snark… Hit the Back button… WTF! What’s MY BLOG doing appearing within the Sadly, No! chrome?


A rift in Netly Space-Time…?




I’d seen the others, but the Clash one was new to me. Thanks for that. I think “Cigarettes… and Toads” will be the name of my next band (One Night Only! With Omnipresent Cameltoe!), or maybe my next blog.


Also, thanks to Creedence, we all know…

There’s a bathroom on the right.


See, this time of year I get the songs stuck in my head and in due course invent perverted lyrics.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland is especially bad. “Later on/ we’ll perspire/….

Christmas Spirit has a whole different meaning after that starts.


“Fearless Fred, the footpad dread,
set fire to his momma’s bed”


I was stirrin’ up a stirrup cup in a stolen sterling stein
When I chanced upon a ladle who was once my Valentine.
“Oh, whence that wince, my wench?” quoth I;
She blushed and said “Oh, sir, My poppa isn’t stirrin’ since my momma’s been in stir.”


I had trouble appreciating the ‘Complete Control’ translation because I know the original lyrics by heart.

And, although it doesn’t come across too well as text, I have perfected the art of singing ‘Take me Out To The Ball Game’ one syllable off. You start the original tune at the second word:
Me out to the ball game take,
Me out to the crowd buy…

… and so on. It’s harder than it sounds, and it leaves a really annoying unfinished feel at the end (not ending on the tonic, and all). I actually can’t sing it normally any more.

Maybe I’ll post a YouTube video…


Dial a mole
Dial a mole
Dial a, dial a, dial a mole


Is this an appropriate place to start the ‘Blinded by the Light’ conversation?


Mike said,
I have perfected the art of singing ‘Take me Out To The Ball Game’ one syllable off.

Perfected, a cappella, on the Skeleton’s album “In the Flesh!”


I could have sworn I heard “Islam is the Light!” in all three of those clips.


OMG the Joe Cocker is hilarious. I instantly sent it to my brother for his birthday!


The Joe Cocker one is a public service. Finally, we know what he says.


59lespaulcopy –
Perfected, a cappella, on the Skeleton’s album “In the Flesh!”

Obviously a brilliant and talented group of musicians. Were they from Brooklyn?


I have long practice with a different off-syllable version of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”. I don’t know where I picked it up; off some comedy album my folks had when I was young, probably. (For some reason, Firesign Theater comes to mind.)

(Take me)
Out to the ball game, take me
Out with the crowd, buy me
Some peanuts and cracker jack, I don’t
Care if I ever get back and it’s root root root

For the home team if they don’t
Win it’s a shame and it’s one
Two three strikes!
At the old ball game
(three notes hummed uncomfortably)


Somebody needs to get that Cocker feller into a hospital right quick, he’s havin a nepelectic fit and he’s likely to swallow his tongue.


“while the snoo lay all about”

What’s snoo?


What’s snoo?
I get asked that all the time.

Quaker in a Basement


We all know the real song goes like this:

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n’ too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory’s pop is lolly gaggin’ on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, ‘lope with you!
Chollie’s collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!


Those lines are quoted below Gavin’s enforced fold, Quaker. Nothing if not a completist, moi. Actually, come to think of it, there are probably quite a few things below Gavin’s fold.


Actually, come to think of it, there are probably quite a few things below Gavin’s fold.

And, uh, you know this how, Neddie?


Because I get by with a little help from my friends.

Christ, I thought my head was gonna explode when Joe screamed “OW!”


The Skeletons were (and occasionally still are) from Springfield, Missouri, the recording capitol of Greene County. See also the Morells, possibly (caution, fightin’ words ahead) the greatest bar band in the history of this, or any, world.


when Joe screamed “OW!”
The scream wasn’t really necessary, was it? He could have got by with a little yelp from his friends.


I feel a bit guilty laughing at ol’ Joe Cocker. I really love him. He was, as the kids say, AWESOME in concert. At least he still was about 10 years ago.

I’m not sure what it is, but seems like I almost always like his covers of songs better than the originals. And yes, that even goes for “A Little Help From My Friends.” I hang my Beatlemaniac head in shame.


Daler Mehndi’s Tunak Tunak Tun with lyrics (sort of): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fSpI4oZoDc


I feel a bit guilty laughing at ol’ Joe Cocker. I really love him. He was, as the kids say, AWESOME in concert. At least he still was about 10 years ago.

I felt a bit guilty too. He was doing really well for someone who had ingested the equivalent of the inventory of a university chemistry department in 3 weeks.

I still love ” ‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy”


The fact is, faggot, faggot, bite my butt.


Oy. Carol of the Bells is legendary. LEGENDARY.

Silver Bells, however, can die in a fire.

This public service message brought to you by Ex-Choir Singers With Too Much Experience Singing Alto.


Two points:

(1) “Carol of the Bells” is the perfect musical representation of a migraine headache; and,

(2) Now I know where Andy Partridge got the melodic structure for “Jumping in Gomorrah”:

Bring your horn of plenty
Gold calves, if you got ’em
We’ll get stuck in history
All aboard for Sodom,

Bring your burning bush,
Harlots if you’re able
We’ll get stuck in history
Next stop tower of Babel

Jumping in Gomorrah, I’m religion free!
Jumping in Gomorrah, I’m religion free!

It’s a perfect recapitulation of the melody of “Complete Control”! Wonderful!

Quaker in a Basement

Bark Us All Bow Wows of Folly is the true version, not additional verses of the corrupted tune. You can ask Beauregard the Dog.


Beauregard also noted that “I did some Wonder Loaf… Hoggify!”


I remember always hearing Joe Cocker singing the intro to The Wonder Years when I was still in elementary school. At the time, I had no idea he was singing that same song by The Beatles. I thought he was saying “Watch whatcha do with that big attitude”.


Walt Kelly is God.


There is a land where summer skies
Are gleaming with a thousand eyes
Blending, en-witching, harmonies, in har, my knees
And grassy knoll and forest height
Are flushing in the rose delight
And all around is Asia, bright

Had to sing that as a wee kiddie at school. Those thousand eyes kept me awake for days afterwards. Thank the gods we’ve since changed our national anthem. To something even more boring, and sadly bereft of mondegreening opportunities.

Incontinentia Buttocks

I can’t see that Cocker clip without thinking of this.


not christmas, but i continually remember and laugh at churchy la femme drinking from a cup and spitting out, saying, “this is the worst coffee i done ever did drink!” and howland owl saying “that ain’t coffee, that’s paint thinner,” whereon churchy continued to sip, saying, “well, for paint thinner, it ain’t bad…”


addendum: i can’t go thru any election (including the last one) without thinking about fremont the bug: “jes’ fine.”


but to the subject at hand:

ken lee
tulibu dibu douchou
ken lee
ken lee mejou more

ken lee.


I have perfected the art of singing ‘Take me Out To The Ball Game’ one syllable off.

You and my husband. I pretend I don’t know him during the 7th inning stretch.


The old National Lampoon did it much better in their infamous “Letters” section:

Deck the bowels with boughs of holly
‘Tis the season to be jolly
Don we now our gay apparel
Suck the ancient pink meat barrel

Ty & Wayne
West Hollywood, CA


Well, Friday the Thirteenth is on a Saturday this month, so we are safe, sez I.

Isn’t that how it went? Oh, I miss those old Pogo books.


Ah, the almost annual Pogo and Porkypine Christmas adventure.

One time Porky shows up around 4 AM as usual, bearing his gift of a daisy from the previous summer. He finds Pogo bustling about, gathering packages and telling Porky he’s just in time to help out. With what? Well, they’s gonna take the packages over to where the swamp’s heavies, Wiley Catt and Seminole Sam the fox, hang out.

“We leaves the presents on the doorstep and rings the bell.”

“Then what?” asks Porky Pine.

“Then we runs, of course.”

“Hmm,” says Porky, grumpily picking up some of the packages. “I admits it’s a highly embroidered gesture. Think it’ll do anybody any good?”

“Mebbe jes’ only us.”


Shouldn’t it be “Swallow dollar cauliflower Alleygaroo?


Good king sauerkraut look out
On your feets uneven…
Can’t remember the rest.


Several times in the comics Churchy LaFemme would sing

Good King Sauerkraut, look out!
On your feets uneven.
While the snoo lay round and bout
All kerchoo achievin’

At this point he’d always be interrupted with:

“Snoo? What’s snoo?”

To which the reply was:

“Nothing much, what’s snoo with you?”


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