World Geography, brought to you by Rush Limbaugh

Rush is back from the Middle East, where he spent some time in… Afghanistan:



GEORGE: What is Holland?

JERRY: What do you mean, ‘what is it?’ It’s a country right next to Belgium.

GEORGE: No, that’s the Netherlands.

JERRY: Holland *is* the Netherlands.

GEORGE: Then who are the Dutch?


Comments: 35


And what exactly is that a map of?

It’s not the middle east, the indian subcontinent, or anything else that I can recognise.


Sadly, Yes, that is Afghanistan, and Kabul would be right behind the middle of Rush’s fat head (just above and between the eyes)…

But “Sadly, NO” (wow, I get to steal that wonderful expression): Afghanistan is not in the “Middle East”, except for…

Let’s update our little skit, shall we?

GEORGE: What is Afghanistan?
JERRY: What do you mean, ‘what is it?’ It’s a country right next to Iran.
GEORGE: No, that’s the Middle East.
JERRY: Afghanistan *is* the Middle East.
GEORGE: Then who are the Taliban?


He’s an American. What, you expect him to know geography?


It’s close enough for ol’ Hopped-Up-On-Goofballs, OK? Lay off.


I’m looking at the map on my wall, and that ain’t Afghanistan.

Unless that’s a map of some sort of political divisions of Afghanistan. I do freely admit that I don’t know the provincial divisions of Afghanistan.


Andrew: It is indeed. Kandahar is where the Taliban, as a movement, originated, and Ghor had some interesting warlords. Those are the only names I could make out.

Still, I’m disappointed that no one sliced Rush open to eat. Did he really go to Afghanistan?


I doubt that Rush’s audience knows that Afghanistan isn’t in the Middle East, any more than they realize that neither Iranians nor Turks are Arabs.


But… but… they’re all towelheads ‘n stuff!


Is Afghanistan not in the Middle East? The wikipedia article on the Middle East, for instance, says that Afghanistan is sometimes considered to be part of the Middle East.


Being Dutch-born I object to any association of Holland with Brimblebaugh, and with Afghanistan for that matter, even though it’s only one of two provinces in the Netherlands.

But mostly because Holland is not in the Middle East.


When I see polls on foreign policy, I always wish there were pre-qualifying questions.

“In order to participate in this poll, please provide correct answers to the following questions.

Where is Iraq?
Where were the 9/11 hijackers from?
How many nuclear weapons did Iraq possess before the US invasion?
Is the US at war with France?


“… considered to be part of the Middle East.” … by poorly educated law breaking drug addicts.


it’s a map of kandahar gerrymandered, which is, of course, somehow in the national interest,
from the perspective of a hillbilly on heroin


Technically Holland isn’t the Netherlands.


Yeah, it’s a regional map. Rush is still a big fat idiot, though.


speaking of geography….

“Y’know Giblets I’m startin to think maybe there isn’t a pirate treasure buried in our living room after all,” says me.
“You talk crazy talk!” says Giblets. “Treasure is real and fabulous and just hours away from belonging to Giblets!”

“If I was a pirate I’d stick the treasure someplace we couldn’t find it,” says me. “Like the desert or the bus stop or the moon or a big mean dog.”
“You’re just showin your ignorance of pirate culture,” says Giblets. …

“The last anyone sees of Rush Limbaugh is a silhouetted figure, bells ringing, running into the field of flames, grunting happily, leaping madly.”


the rude one posits a plausible storyline except for the part about rush’s balls

that is totally far fetched to begin with.


Reminds me of another Seinfeld gem…

FRANK: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who’s having sex with the hen?

GEORGE: Why don’t we talk about it another time.

FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something’s missing!

MRS. ROSS: Something’s missing all right.

MR. ROSS: They’re all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

FRANK: That’s perverse.


Afghanistan is clearly within the Greater Middle East Co-Prosperity Sphere.

Chris Moorehead

As the old expression goes, “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” It doesn’t seem to be working this time, though…


It’s pretty obvious that Rush, being a true patriot, is using a fake map so he doesn’t give away any of the many military tactical secrets to which he has access.

C’mon, he’s a professional! He’s not some kind of Geraldo Rivera with his Bomb Us Here “journalism”. If my guess is correct, Rush probably took out a few insurgents while he was there but, of course, he’s too humble to admit that. Excuse me… I’m not crying, I uhh… I just have something in my eye.


That why you’ll hear phrases like “Greater Middle East” so they can lump Afganistan in with Iraq and the rest.

There are 12 provinces of the Netherlands, two of which are “Holland” — North Holland and South Holland. But these contain Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Den Haag so many other people use “Holland” and “Netherlands” as synonyms. I learned the hard way when I introduced a friend from Arnhem as “from Holland”


Afghanistan is considered the Middle East for US government purposes. In my organization, we have the Central Asian department preparing reports on Afghanistan, and then they give them to me to be included in the Middle East report. Pakistan is also included in the Greater Middle East. They might as well include Indonesia- after all, they are the largest Muslim country in the world.


The interesting discussion is whether Afghanistan counts as South Asia or Central Asia. I’d lean towards Central Asia, given the ethnic divisions across Afghanistan, rather than the subcontinent…


Actually, the Dutch are partly to blame. Outside of the netherlans they constantly refer to their own country as ‘holland’. Ask a Dutch person where they come from and they say hollanb. Ask them why they say holland instead of the netherlands and they will say it is easier for people to understand. For example, one of their football cheer songs is ‘hup holland hup’.


turkey is considered partially european and partially middle eastern. or asian.
i think.
which, um, would make afghanistan…even more middle eastern? or more asian?


Austin Powers’ dad would be pissed off at the Dutch right about now, because there’s only one thing he hates even more than baseless nationalistic stereotypes.


OxyContin maker plans more than 800 layoffs!

Please Rush, say it isn’t so!


Why is there a testicle photoshopped over that map of Afghanistan? What an odd thing to do.


Lighten up, folks. Rush is there to explain the situation in Afghanistan to his listeners in Dumbfuckistan.


It would seem from a few comments on here that Afghanistan is considered part of the middle-east not because of its location but rather its people. Furthermore, it would seem that because of the association rather forcibly rammed upon Afghanistan in regard to Iraq (ya know, the one the Shrubbery in office came up with) that the distinction has become even more blurred.

Oh, and for some reason I always thought Rush Limbaugh was Larry King… perhaps I should pay a LITTLE more attention to who these jackwads are even if I don’t believe a word coming out of their mouths:p


Hey Look!

A bunch of morons who think “the middle east” is a continent.
Could only be liberals.

Well here is a middle east map made by socialists.


USCENTCOM includes Afghanistan in a large geographical region including all of the Middle East South and Central Asia and calls it “Southwest Asia”.


Dumbfuckistan. Is that next to Itchcrotchistan?

Say, you think Rush went there for an opium fix?


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