Shark, Motorcycle, Yee-Ha
Posted on November 30th, 2008 by Gavin M.
Above: Thomas Sowell
- Not only has government regulation run our economy into the ground, but liberal malefactors are casting aspersions on our heroic CEOs.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Posted immediately below T. Sow’s screed:
Co-inky-dink?
Boris? Borat? Is this going to be something I won’t want to have looked at? There’s no Mickey Kaus involved is there?
I like that it’s been up three & a half days at the N. Y. Post & attracted a total of 11 comments, most of them semi-literate. That may say more about the typical N. Y. Post reader than anything else, but I still like it.
And then, after he emails his latest column off to his editor, Sowell makes an appointment with the dominatrix who slaps him in the face and pees on him while she tells him what a dirty, filthy corporate whore he is.
The goat shat
Oh, dear deity, I can’t get over that screed.
Dear Maiden, why should you want to know the CEO’s pay? Do you not know that that causes strife in the working class? Do not question what you do not know.
And Blah, if he makes a million times yours, you should be satisfied with your slave wage and toil.
I’m gonna go back to listening to musicals auf Deutsch and watching early 90’s space station dramas. At least I have fake illusions there of hope. Because I need to have lower salary because everyone else makes more than me. Thanks!
Sowell makes an appointment with the dominatrix who slaps him in the face and pees on him
Voi ochen’ plokhoy mal’chik!
halfsharkalligatorhalfman
Do you have any idea how tiring it is making all this bullshit up and spreading it far and wide? Now that’s an energy challenge.
Do you have any idea how tiring it is making all this bullshit up and spreading it far and wide? Now that’s an energy challenge.
If only we could harness it, it would feed several energy-hungry nations for decades, and allow me to have my hover car.
Got any copper wire? Hell, is this part of the “alternate energy plan”?
We’re in the middle of th Obama Depression, and his appointment of all Maoists to his administration isn’t helping matters. Finally, we have to get Big Government off of our backs, now that the Republicans are out of power. You damned LIEbrals are ruining everything!
“It isn’t that the CEOs’ pay affects them so much. If every oil-company executive in America agreed to work for nothing, that wouldn’t be enough to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline by a dime.”
Well no but it would be a good start.
A female genie eh? Are you sure that was an old Russian folk tale? Are you sure it wasn’t… nothing?
Boris’ goat? It’s almost worth clicking the link to read something with that in the title.
Fortunately, I resisted the temptation. And now here I sit, brain unexploded. Phew.
And pedestrian, I thought Russian folk tales were all about wearing out seven pairs of iron shoes and eating seven iron loaves (and consequently getting seven lots of iron constipation)?
Indeedy,it does sound like a Russian joke. Gloomy and everybody is unhappy in the end. It only needs something about waiting in line for bread, being arrested by the NKVD, personally beaten by Stalin and being sent to a gulag to starve to death to have the Russians rolling in the aisles.
Mind you, they’ve been happily happily killing, arresting and framing their billionaire robber capitalists, so you can’t say that they don’t take a realistic approach to like.
LIFE (dammit!)
Russian folk tales also specialise in characters who can separate their souls from their bodies and locate them inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a hare, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on the island of Buyan, in the ocean. Oh yes, and mobile huts with chicken legs. If you’re after a hut with chicken legs, then the Russians are the people to talk to.
However, most of what I know about the Russian folk tradition comes from looking at Ivan
BilirubinBilibin prints.This charming tale would be more apt if the f-in’ goat ate the village beet patch and was moving on to the cabbages, in which case, Ivan would be correct in wanting the goat dead. Silly Ivan, however, should have done the dirty deed himself, and eaten that tasty, tasty goat.
Doubt it has anything to do with Russian folktales, however. More like a Sowell’s Ass folktale. And Smut Clyde, if you’re going to talk about chicken-legged huts, ya gotta mention flying mortars, steered with the pestle. It’s just, ya know, appropriate.
Baba Yaga! Sometimes I wish I were Russian (or, as I like to pronounce it “Rrrrrrrrussian”) – I so want to be a crotchety dangerous old woman when I get old, and the chicken-legged hut and pestle-driven mortar would be added bonuses.
Actually, the hut makes me think of those bathing huts, although I suspect most people would rather have tackled Baba Yaga than gone swimming in historic Russia.
Gavin, I believe that should be “Shark, Water Skis, Yee-Ha”.
Then again, water skis is one of those words that just doesn’t look right when it’s typed out.
Also, shouldn’t that read,
?
He’s still beating that equine corpse about the CRA causing everything bad that ever happened to banking, conveniently ignoring the sixty-some-odd trillion dollars worth of derivatives the financial industry invented by reaching into each others’ anuses and waving what they found in the air and calling it money.
Sigh.
The best bit, imhfo, is,
Says the guy writing in the newspaper.
But we can cut him some slack because it’s not easy speaking truth to power and defending those poor downtrodden CEOs from the all-powerful Hourly Wage Earner! Hopefully next week he stops trying to educate us and encourages them all to go John Galt. It’s the only way we’ll learn how necessary those CEOs are.
Heavens. What would Chekhov, PAVEL Chekhov say. “More wokda for Mr. Sowell please.” Where, oh where, do you find these determinedly idiotic writers? More to the point, if I wrote such nonsense would someone pay me as well? Times are rough, I can make up shit about goats…..
I thought Chekhov said that if you hang a goat on the wall in the first act, Mickey Kaus has to show up by the third act.
Were, well, I went straight for Star Trek Chekhov and all that I could remember was the “wodka”. Or “nuclear wessels”.
So Thomas fucking Sowell, pundit and professor (unless I’m mistaken), gets an entire column out of a line from one of those “government & cow” things.
hurhurhur Communism makes people resentful! We wouldn’t care that the CEO of the company we work for makes 350 times what we do if it wasn’t for a buncha troublemaking polly-tishans! Serfs LOVE their chains! You can get ’em gilded and hang lil’ charms from ’em and everything!
I worked for a time not long ago for the richest family in the goddamn country, and mirable dictu the bastards got that way by paying us shit wages and treating us like pack animals. No, that’s unfair – pack animals are a valuable resource; we were about as important and irreplaceable to the Home Orifice as the tapes in the registers.
And now Mr. Shit-Tick Sowell comes along to tell me that at least the BIG EEEVIL GUMMINT wasn’t involved, so it really wasn’t all that bad. I’d like to kick Mr. Sowell in the nuts as many times as what the CEO of the company I worked for made as compared to me.
The best part is you know CEOs would like the fReichtards to shut up before angry peasants show up with pitchforks. “Dude, ixnay on the oneymay!”
All you need to know of Pavel Chekhov is “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Were–alas, thank you for bringing the balance that I could not.
(L)P(A): not at all, both Chekovs made contributions to the canon.
Ya gotta admire the total, gutsy, cluelessness of this Sowell entry; high CEO salaries, abetted by taxpayer munnies, must be in the top five of “Things That Make The Populace’s Blood Boil,” and yet he wades right in.
John Hinderaker knows profundity when he sees it.
Help! My nose has left my face and now enjoys a higher civil service rank than I!
Actually, the numbers indicate differently than the common assumption. Collectively, executive compensation now represents hundreds of billions of dollars throughout failing American industry. That’s quite a bit more than a goat.
Thankfully, they still miss the obvious point, which is that conservatives want to set up an aristocracy completely divorced from the concerns of the peasants, and liberals generally want there to be laws forcing the aristocracy to be more in touch with the peasants’ lives.
(Some of us don’t want there to be an aristocracy, but we’re crazy fringe liberal left extremists that everyone in power must spend all their time denouncing, so, there’s that.)
CEO’s high salaries are justified by their rare skills and incredible performance creating jobs and putting the economy on a sound footing.
(crickets)
…………….
(/crickets)
And Sowell is one of the intellectual elite of the neo-con movement.
We got them right where we want them.
My goodness, but Mister Sowell is just chock full of ass. And WTF is up with that picture? I can’t figure out what his legs are doing. If those are indeed his legs.
Well, can’t argue with Sowell there.
Where’s the “personal responsibility” thing now?
If those are indeed his legs.
A blanket? Who takes a crap with a blanket over their legs? Is it cold in his bathroom? Is there a joke here?
Why is Sowell being such a dumbshit? Either this is a big joke, or he’s so goddamn stupid about this topic it’s not funny.
Nobody except a very small minority of Americans gives a shit what the hell the people at Google, Microsoft, or most other corporations makes. It may make us slightly uneasy that there’s such a disparity of wealth between different classes, but it’s also a lot easier to accept it when we’re talking about people who are actually competent. The same can’t be said for most financial executives, who look to have been criminally negligent or incredibly stupid managing their companies. Of course, this doesn’t stop them from receiving massive severage packages, which is where most of the frustration towards some CEOs comes from.
Why this is so hard for Sowell to understand is beyond me.
So we are all just a bunch of Boris’s goat killers and CEO pay has no effect on us or the economy. Well I decided to do a little math. It seems that the CEO of GM make $15.7 million and the average autoworker makes $58K a year. That means that GM could hire 270 production workers for the salary paid the CEO. It gets worse, because autoworkers are pretty well paid. Nationally CEOs make more than 400 times as much as the average worker in their industry. Seems to me that if you need to do some cost cutting, you might want to start at the top, particularly given the level of competence demonstrated by America’s CEOs lately.
I note that tosspot “The Truth” is still hanging around. What is the link for the pie script again, I splashed out on a new computer, and cant remember what it was.
Oh, my poor dear deluded libbies.
You just got schooled Sowell-style, and you still think class warfare is something WE do. No, it is YOU the liberals who are full of hate and envy for those who are successful and want to take it by fiat.
It’s called socialism.
There is way more stupid than we need to go around. I doubt that we will ever see Peak Stupid. Fear not. We will NEVER run out. It is truly a bottomless dull, a renewable retard.
Of course, this doesn’t stop them from receiving massive severage packages, which is where most of the frustration towards some CEOs comes from.
They deserve a guaranteed nine-figure payout if they happen to run the company into the ground! After all, they take all the risks.
To reiterate what Brian said, I have no qualms with the folks who came up with Google making a ton of money, and the same for whatever industry leaders make if they had a great idea and made it work. So long as they pay good wages and provide a decent working place for their employees it’s fine by me.
What pisses me off is when some numbnut runs a company into the ground, lays folks off, cuts wages, etc, and expects to get paid big bucks and then whines about “socialism” when somebody suggests that maybe, just maybe, a real free market wouldn’t reward them for making things worse!
And frankly, if Tom Sowell and his buddies went down to S.E. DC and starting giving 10 buck blow jobs to buy crack they’d be making a more honest living…
I doubt that we will ever see Peak Stupid.
We won’t, but I’ll be happy enough if we can manage to get it so that neither Stupid nor Batshit Crazy are actually in charge of the country.
Renewable retard – bwaaaahahaha!
Nationally CEOs make more than 400 times as much as the average worker in their industry.
Which is obscene considering that CEOs in other industrial nations make only double digits times what the workers make, and yet we must remain competitive against them!
Regardless of what idjits like Sowell (is the resemblance to “sewer” a coincidence?) and Gospodin Pravda tell us, there’s a whole shitload of wealth in this country concentrated in very, very few hands, and we could goodamn well do with a round of redistribution.
Lobbey, I switched to the killfile instead of the pie script — the link is here if you’re interested.
What? Failing companies don’t give their execs bonuses, they get retention payments!
I hate AIG
What Pere Ubu said. I’ll give you the stats: as of 1998, the wealthiest 10% of people in this country owned 70% of all the wealth, while the poorest 40% (that includes a lot of us here) own 2/10ths of 1%. Which is why you can see it was so important for Bush to cut taxes for the folks who already owned 70% of everything.
I have a better fable, because I don’t really give a shit about Boris’ goat – goats are nasty, mean, and smell bad: I want Thomas Sowell to die.
Ok, maybe not die, but at least STFU. Or, as some Woodrowfan upthread suggested, stop writing and go to work on the streets giving out $10 blowjobs.
Not only is the wealth concentrated in few hands, those hands are attached to barely functional brains.
The metrics on Wall Street have a lot to do with it; when investing in R&D, taking care of employees, and keeping assets liquid all became things that got you deductions in points, Wall Street became the ones trying to kill their own goat.
Hey, this Truth guy is stealing my logical fallacies!
“It isn’t that the CEOs’ pay affects them so much. If every oil-company executive in America agreed to work for nothing, that wouldn’t be enough to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline by a dime.”
You lying sack of shit! YOU have no proof of that whatsoever.
The Truth said,
November 30, 2008 at 17:48
I lick my ass!
Smiling Mortician,
Thank you sir, I’m sick of that f*cken moron careering into threads like a retarded penguin and going on and on about sod all. Thought he would bugger off after the election, but no luck.
Half the trouble is that we all engage with him now and then, and I have been guilty of it myself, but this puts and end to it.
Where have all the good trolls gone?
Which is obscene considering that CEOs in other industrial nations make only double digits times what the workers make, and yet we must remain competitive against them!
In most developed countries, it is 40 times average worker income. Interesting that the CEO of Toyota only makes 40 times what his workers do, while the CEO of GM make 270 times as much. Makes you wonder just exactly what they are getting paid for.
Oh, my poor dear deluded libbies.
You just got schooled Sowell-style, and you still think class warfare is something WE do. No, it is YOU the liberals who are full of hate and envy for those who are successful and want to take it by fiat.
It’s called socialism.
Oh, really, Toof? Seems I recall you yourself getting “schooled” while using Sowell’s talking points only a week or so ago. I guess, like you, Sowell can only “school” people when it’s not a conversation where anyone can jump in and point out his many, many misrepresentations of fact. Certainly it doesn’t work too well for you when it’s a dialogue rather than a monologue, as anyone can see by scrolling down to the end of the comments at the link.
For the record, Fonzie wasn’t on a motorcycle for the stunt.
Your title, then, ought to be:
“It isn’t that the CEOs’ pay affects them so much. If every oil-company executive in America agreed to work for nothing, that wouldn’t be enough to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline by a dime.”
Tell you what, Tommy – let’s try it for a year and see what happens. (And “nothing” MEANS “nothing” – none of this bullshit about taking $1 in income so you don’t have to pay tax on it then taking all the perks and side-deals anyway.)
Wall Street became the ones trying to kill their own goat.
DING!
Hi there, I’m The Tr-oaf and I say its only class warfare when the middle class and the lower class complain about being shafted by the upper class. Even though I live in my mommy’s basement and bag groceries part-time, I identify with CEOs who have hundred million dollar portfolios and have tens of millions of dollars in discounted preferred stock options and multimillion dollar bonuses and whose salary is the least important component of their compensation package. I also sympathize with them when they get these payments when they screw up, because I get paid when I screw up, like when I knocked down the spaghetti sauce display and when I got caught staring down Mrs. Bulbous’s cleavage.
“If every oil-company executive in America agreed to work for nothing, that wouldn’t be enough to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline by a dime.”
Sowell may actually have a point there, but not the one he intends. Given the grossly bloated profits of the oil companies (windfall profits tax anyone?), CEO salaries may not contribute significantly to the cost of gasoline. You do not report the largest annual profits in the history of the world if your profit margin is thin. The same, however does not apply to any other industry.
The CEO Education tax
Each year 2% of all a CEO’s compensation will be sent to the school district(s) in which the CEO attended classes during K-12. Half of that money will be dispersed directly to the current or former teachers who helped educate that CEO. Half will go to the general retirement fund for all teachers.
If ‘good’ CEO’s are such rare and precious commodities that they deserve the exorbitant sums of money to continue their jobs then the educators who created such gifts deserve compensation as well.
“then the educators who created such gifts deserve compensation as well.”
Let’s not forget there college education. I think another 2% tax on executive compensation to be divided between the colleges and universities attended and the individual faculty who taught them is in order. 😎
It’s the ‘politicians and their media allies’. Uh huh. He is a RW intellectual, alright.
Should CEO’s be payed in goats? I would recommend the Tennessee Fainting Goats as they freeze when startled and fall over, thus providing inspiration to the CEO’s when times are tough.
Heck, I think goats themselves would be better than our current crop of CEO’s.
They might not smell quite so much of expensive cologne, but they are, as a group, both smarter and more cognizant of the future.
But gays and lesbians getting married, that affects straight people A LOT, so much we have to amend our constitutions to stop it. Right, Mr. Sowell?
Mr. Sowell thinks it does:
http://www.thevanguard.org/thevanguard/other_writers/sowell_thomas/060814.shtml
To the tune of The Internationale:
The working class can kiss my arse,
I’ve got the foremans’ job at last.
I’m out of work and on the dole,
You can stuff the red flag up your hole.
The working class can kiss my arse,
I’ve got the foremans’ job at last.
‘Twas on Gibraltors rocks so fair,
I saw a maiden lying there,
And as she lay in sweet repose,
A puff of wind blew up her clothes.
The working class can kiss my arse,
I’ve got the foremans’ job at last.
By Ron and Rude Boys.
A sailor who was passing by,
Tipped his hat and winked his eye,
And then he saw to his despair,
She had the red flag flying there.
The working class can kiss my arse,
I’ve got the foremans’ job at last.
Oh preview, why do you mock me so?
So would it be fair to say you’re a … Master baiter?
Thank you, I’ll be here all week!
A blindingly stupid man. The only reason Tom’s still alive is that his wife pokes him in the side now and then to remind him to breathe.
Meritocracy has never had a more ironic spokesman.
Wow, that was pretty pathetic, even for Sowell. How long did that even take to write…six minutes, maybe?
See, the CEO of GM gets paid so much because he comes up with genius, risky ideas to stay competitive with Toyota. Like busting the unions, screwing the pensioners, cutting the average worker’s compensation by 20%.
That kind of innovation deserves a bonus.
Instead of a Russian folk tale, how about a Czech joke?
Mao and Brezhnev and Dubcek show up in Heaven, and St. Peter offers to grant each of them one wish.
“Let China be destroyed by earthquake and floods, until not one brick remains standing on another!” says Brezhnev.
“Let Russia be so completely obliterated that it doesn’t even remain as a memory in the minds of men!” says Mao.
“Well,” says Dubcek, “as long as you’re granting these gentlemen their wishes, I’d like a cup of coffee.”
Keeping our attention focused on CEO pay – Boris’ goat – is all part of this game. We are all goats if we fall for it.
Hey, baby, come here often?
That’s good, let’s have more czech jokes.
Is the Truth also going to get on this thread and tell how disappointed we are that some people from the Clinton administration, who brought us negative unemployment and a trillion dollar budget surplus, are going to working for Obama? And how we’re all hypocrites because we don’t complete his syllogisms? Accent on the “gism”
Well, the last time they used a Thomas Sowell photograph in a post they accompanied it with some sadly ill-advised racist humor involving putting mock-Sambo words in Sowell’s mouth
You’re not particularly fluent in LOLCats, iz u?
I kin haz link?
My dear actor212, we understand what can drive someone like you to get a chuckle out of racist humor
Dude, you don’t suss me, so don’t even be pretendin’ to “analyze” me, bro! Y’all ain’ all dat ana bag o chips, shonuff?
Ohno, he din’t!
Concern troll is concerned.
Fool, I’m the first to admit I still have racist tendencies in my bones.
After all, I’m a fucking liberal.
But here’s the thing: for you to expect anyone to have fully divested themselves of racism means you think there are superhuman people out there, which is in itself a racist thought.
Now, if you want to talk about context, I’d be happy to, but you have to pass a test first and that test is whether y’all can understand a joke or not when it’s in writing AND how that joke is being aimed.
Poor Fool.
But I bet you hear that a lot.
Or should I say, “Po’ Foo”? I speak Ebonics, you see.
Not at all, Fool, but if you feel the need to say it, please go right ahead.
But don’t wonder why people don’t take you too seriously. That would be a bad thing for you to try to figure out.
What pisses me off is that his company’s stock is lurking in 3 of the 8 mutual fund choices I have for my company’s 401K and his company’s bonds are in 2 of the others. So I have the choice of either funding his shitty choices, funding the shitty choices of some other equally shitty CEOs or putting my retirement in the modern equivalent of a mayonnaise jar.
If we only paid criminals a large bonus to stick around at the scene of their crimes and cooperate with the authorities, we could save a fortune on law enforcement salaries.
CEOs are the best; they deserve every penny they make. Did you know that companies would rather hire someone who had been CEO of a company while it completely tanked than to hire someone without CEO experience? That’s because CEO experience is the most valuable thing in the world!
Also, if anyone posts to this thread after I wrote that, I win and also pwn you because I am trolling.
Stoat — really, I think it’s just as important to be realistic about like. Maybe more important.
Truthy — “schooled Sowell-style”? Dear heart, “schooled” and “style” should never be used in the same sentence as “Sowell”, no matter how alluring the alliteration. (Also, being schooled in his style would require both a bribe and a lobotomy, and we’re still sans payoff, sans surgery.)
LOL pwned LOLOLOLOLOL the Big Brain am winning!