The True Meaning of Thanksgiving
You want something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? Well, then, be thankful that you are not B. Daniel Blatt, aka “GayPatriotWest.” In case you’ve forgotten, Blatt provides truckloads of unintentional comedy as he ties himself up like a pretzel on a near daily basis explaining how he can be a gay conservative Republican. And that just can’t be a very comfortable way to spend one’s life.
Blatt is the kind of guy that, had he been born a turkey (at least, that is, of the avian variety), he would have spent his formative years dreaming of growing up to be a spokesman for Butterball. And then when he was rejected for that job by Butterball and sent back to the barn to await his execution, he would have spent his final days before Thanksgiving, not recriminating against Butterball, but reproving himself for not being a good enough turkey to please the Butterball folks. And seconds before his final appointment with the guillotine and the plucking room, he would have cried out “Butterball’s Best Boy Forever!” Ker-thunk!
Well, today Blatt has outdone himself. And in a long line of lame rationalizations, foolish analogies, and frissons of self-loathing, that really is saying something. Blatt brings it home in a post titled “On Joining Forces with Social Conservatives When Necessary to Preserve Our Liberty,” which you might think says it all but astonishingly only provides the scarcest glimmer of the inanity to follow:
My main concern in politics is maintaining my freedom. And, in practical, definable terms, the daily threats to my liberty are not being pushed by religious conservatives. It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me I’m breaking the law if I light up in a bar. It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats. … It isn’t the religious conservatives who have told me that I have to separate my trash, even to the point of removing individual trashcans in my office building.
Shorter Gay Patriot West: I’m willing to forgo marriage to the man of my dreams (well at least I would be if I had a man of my dreams) as long as I can eat all the trans fats I want. Hell, you can even fire me for being gay (well at least you could if I had a job) as long as I can still smoke in a bar. And I’d trade the theoretical possibility of marriage in a heart beat if I could just put glass and paper in the same trash can again.
So this Thanksgiving, when Uncle Miltie is complaining at dinner for the eleventh time that turkeys aren’t as juicy as they used to be, that cranberry sauce makes him constipated and that people keep sneaking into his room and stealing shit from him when he’s stuck on the toilet, it’s time for you to just sit back, relax and remember this: at least you aren’t B. Daniel Blatt.
UPDATE: Bonus silliness from B. Daniel Blatt:
How do you know when you’re linked on a left-wing blog? [That would be us.] You discover an increased number of hate comments in your spam queue.
…
Oh, and one last point, anyone who would use a doctored photo and put it forward as authentic is someone obviously someone [sic] who is easily duped.
A big slice of absinthe-laced lemon chess pie for anyone who can explain the logic of that “last point,” which, sadly, we fear won’t really be B. Daniel Blatt’s last point. We think the one who is easily duped is Mr. Blatt if he thinks that we put forward any picture on this site as authentic.
He may be a self-loathing homophobe, but that T-shirt still makes me laugh.
It was religious conservatives who not so very long ago vehemently disagreed with a Supreme Court ruling giving you the right to have consensual relations with another of the same sex in the privacy of your bedroom.
That, by the way, is a threat to no one. Smoking, on the other hand…well, we still don’t really know the effects of second-hand smoke, but to ignore the issue completely is foolish. And we know that a guy smoking next to me in a bar is probably more likely to harm my person than two dudes expressing their love for one other in the apartment next to mine.
Hey, what is equality and civil rights next to being forced to recycle?
And why does he say he loves bush when he doesn’t? That t-shirt is false advertising, and he should be sued for breach of promise.
Gay marriage isn’t much of a concern if no other gay men will touch you with a ten-foot shitty stick.
I… uh…
how the hell do you respond to that?
So smoking in a bar is protected in the Constitution?
Well.
It was religious conservatives who not so very long ago vehemently disagreed with a Supreme Court ruling giving you the right to have consensual relations with another of the same sex in the privacy of your bedroom.
Oh, but that happened years ago! ‘Way back in the 80’s!
You can’t let yourself be distracted by the past, after all. You gotta look to the future!
Just for the record, Hitler never prevented Jews from smoking in bars or eating trans fats. He did enforce mandatory recycling, however, which was where he infringed on freedom.
Wotta turkey.
Wow…that is some remarkable combination of denial and self-loathing.
Sure, the culture-cons despise who I am…but they let me eat all the old-school Fritos I want!
To quote Kelly Bundy:
“The mind wobbles.”
My main interest in politics is avoiding injury.
In practical, definable terms, daily threats of physical damage to my person are not being pushed by muggers, madmen and mosh pits.
It wasn’t muggers, but landscapers who left all these rakes laying on the ground.
It wasn’t madmen, but Sears that sold me that chain saw.
It wasn’t the mosh pit, but that handsome young man in leather with a shaved head that beat me senseless and took my wallet…
mikey
old warty colonial-times lady: “‘ere now, mister franklin! wot have we got – a republic or a monarchy?”
benjamin franklin: “a smoking section, if you can keep it.”
Blatt – that name just screams onomatopoeia, doesn’t it?
Sadly, No!
The mainstream contingent wants him to be legally forbidden to adopt a child, marry, or bring civil suit for homophobic discimination in matters of employment or housing – & that’s just off the top of my head … I’m sure there’s plenty more where those came from.
The Dominionist contingent wants to see him executed for being gay – & the moment they can install a theocracy-friendly regime in America, by fair means or foul, his life won’t be worth a dime.
“I hate victims who respect their executioners.”
– Jean-Paul Sartre
The anti-MLK is so much cooler.
I have a dream… Actually guys, fuck it, just cut this civil rights crap. You are allowed to eat chicken wings and watermelon. That’s what really matters. None of Bull Connor’s assholes want to take that away from you. So put down your signs, go to the back of the bus and stop making trouble.
I really resent the way the gubmint won’t let me slather lead based paint all over the local playground equipment. Why, when we were kids, nobody cared if we et paint chips, and we turned out okay. And why do they insist that I put my baby in a car seat? It’s my doggone gawd-given right to let my kid rattle around like the last lone pea in a tin can if I so desire. It’s tradition! Seat belts are for wusses! Arrrrr!
But don’t you dare try to get the gubmint to tell you what charges you’re being held on. You have no right to question the gubmint’s authority to keep our nation safe. If you ain’t done nothin’ wrong, you have nothin’ to fear! Habeus schmabeus.
um s/b habeas. I always do that.
Freedom. To light up in a bar. Freedom. To eat all the trans-fats I want. Freedom. To not recycle. Evil liberals are responsible for taking these freedoms away.
Freedom. To mary whomever I fucking want. Freedom. To be granted access to the courts like any other American. Freedom. To engage in consentual relations with the person of my choice. Freedom. Freedom. To enjoy mudane rights that everyone else gets to enjoy. These are the freedoms patriotic conservatives fight against every day. It is a major plank in their party platform.
Sorry, dude. Get bent.
Kelly Bundy is so quotable.
“Well, isn’t that a fine Howdy Doody?”
“Mom, I’m on the horns of an enema.”
“This is what I spent all those years learning my ABDs for?”
“I didn’t come all this way to spend my vacation in a one-whore town.”
“I just hope he doesn’t make a testicle out of himself.”
I understand it’s not that bad if you use the wetsuits and dildo properly.
Bud and Kelly are doing their homework.
BUD: (looks up) “What’s the relationship between velocity and angular momentum?”
KELLY: “I don’t know.”
They continue studying.
KELLY: (looks up) “What goes ‘quack’?”
Yes, remember to give thanks for the brave patriots who spent their blood, treasure and honor to preserve our precious God-given freedom to smoke while knocking back boilermakers, stuff bacon fat down our necks, and pack landfills with aluminum cans. I’m sure those liberties were foremost in their minds, eclipsing those trifling freedoms of religion, speech, assembly, press and the Rule of Law.
It’s really strange about Libertarians; they think of themselves as these proud, freedom loving, Heroic Figures!
When in fact they are simply peevish.
It reminds me of lot of those people who won’t wear seat belts. And not for any good reason, either. I could respect these:
“I have an extraordinarily tender swollen liver, and the pressure of the belt sends me out of my mind with pain.”
“I have this secret wish to be propelled through a windshield at fifty five miles an hour, maybe today will be my lucky day!”
“I always wanted to be an organ donor.”
“I’m not that good looking now, so what do I care?”
Really, with the combination lap & shoulder belts with the inertia reels and the adjusters you can get, I can’t even tell I have them on.
So what the HECK is the big deal?
Nothing says rabid self loathing quite like “gay conservative Republican.”
“wasn’t religious conservatives” is an interesting way of saying “was nobody at all.” Dude, you can go and buy a block of Imperial margarine and mainline it if you want. The trans-fat backlash is a product of the Sacred Free Market (pbuh).
It’s a notable feature of modern conservatives that their “solution” to global warming, lung cancer, heart disease, etc. is to let the market work it out — and yet when the corporate oligopoly which calls itself “the free market” decides to actually draw attention to these problems, the conservative shrieks to high heaven about Stalinist oppression and political correctness run amok.
And we know that a guy smoking next to me in a bar is probably more likely to harm my person than two dudes expressing their love for one other in the apartment next to mine.
That depends on what song the they have cranked up on their stereo.
Poor bastard. Obviously he must be such a dedicated sub, and so turned on by humiliation that he has to post this stuff on the internet for everyone to SEE his submission.
He is probably reading this thread right now, and masturbating. When he orgasms, he will scream dick cheneys name.
All he ever wanted was to be tied up and spanked by a nazi, but he hasn’t managed to find a middle aged closeted republican to call master yet. That, or he is disappointed to find that all the closeted republicans are subs too.
and it’s not conservatives that make me cross at the green and not in between!
dadgummit
And seconds before before his final appointment with the guillotine and the plucking room, he would have cried out “Butterball’s Best Boy Forever!” Ker-thunk!
While all the while Sarah Palin would be yammering talking points to a camera crew just a few feet away.
It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats
Wow. That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read in my life.
You’re right. That’s pretty freakin’ obvious, isn’t it?
It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats
Cheer up bucko, as yet no one has passed any laws prohibiting you from putting arsenic in your coffee instead of sugar, from huffing chlorine gas, or mainlining Draino. Life is still good.
The comments over there would be more interesting if they would only publish ones like the one I tried posting.
Maybe I should have lied some to get it through the censors.
Hmm…an actual proposal limiting freedom coming from religious conservatives…can’t think of a single one.
What a great parody site! That dude is hilario…
Wait, what?
A certain monologue from Billy Madison is coming to mind.
Throughout Mississippi, amongst the reddest of the red states, we are allowed to smoke in bars because liberals have not been permitted to take away our precious freedoms.
Well, except in all the dry counties, where there are no bars, because religious conservatives do not permit us the liberty of drinking alcohol.
It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats
The market giveth and the market taketh away.
Wasn’t he a founder of the Chickens for Colonel Sanders movement?
Wait – I just remembered the other meaning of ‘chicken.’ Excuse me while I rethink this comment….
…so let me get this straight – after 235 years we’ve gone from “taxation without representation” to “I have to put paper and plastic in different trash cans”.
Boy, the (non-Christian) Founders would have kicked this guy’s ass up and down the street for hours.
How do you FIND these morons?
I mean, there’s a lot of stupid conservatives out there, yet you managed to find a Z-rated blog at just the right time to pull out a priceless quote. And you manage to do this consistently!
Dear FSM, I wish I had the talent of finding morons as the SadlyNauts do!
Don’t be sad, young Blatt. Maybe lard will come back into vogue.
Sadly, No! You don’t represent me, one of those patriotic gays, nor do you have anything to do with freedom, fairness, free speech, privacy or any true American value. You’re not really gay, are you? I suspect you’re actually Rev. Fred Felch, er, Phelps, grandson in drag.
It isn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me to I have to clean up the shit my dog made on the sidewalk.
It isn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me I shouldn’t buy the bacon-bacon-triple-cheeseburger.
It isn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me I can’t just throw my trash out the window.
It isn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me I’m an asshole for doing the sort of things only assholes do!
somewhat OT but I just have to share this Freeper Quote of the (yester)Day:
Perhaps Blaaaaatt should realize that the whole secular left versus religious right divide is false! They’re merely two sides of a counterfeit coin! It’s actually a conspiracy to ….um…. I can’t think of what the conspiracy might be but I’m sure there’s a conspiracy, damnit!
a conspiracy by both parties to get a foreigner into the White House so they can loot America and establish a Muslim socialist government
Wow.
That’s prime material, there.
Who said we were nearing peak wingnut? There’s obviously great untapped sources surging beneath our feet as we speak. (*ick*)
so they can loot America
OMG, when will they start?
If you are concerned about the safety of your own savings, feel free to send them over to us in NZ and we will look after them for you.
It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats…
That is pathetic. I guess it all depends on which freedoms are important to you, as people here have been saying.
The best one of these I’ve run into outside teh Sadly is a guy on a geeky mailing list I belong to. He was feeling all frustrated-ragey at environmentalists taking away all his freedoms, so just to stick it to the liberals he went down to his basement and quietly let a bunch of freon out of an old refrigerator.
Take that, econazis!
Who said we were nearing peak wingnut?
John Cole said it, but good evidence that that was nowhere near true showed up in the next five minutes, and he took it back.
If you opened up that guy’s brain, you’d find pea soup to match his t-shirt that he spent a month looking for just the right shade of green.
We can’t even give him one for effort.
the Democrats and Republicans are merely two sides of a counterfeit
coinMöbius strip.Amended for heightened metaphoricality.
If we’re going to elect a foreigner I suggest Hugh Laurie. He’s not from America so I assume he’s a Muslim and a socialist.
When do we get this conspiracy started?
cranberry sauce makes him constipated
Wow.
See, cranberry sauce give me the trots.
If I worked at The Onion, I’d be worried about my future.
If Mr. Blatt is so tired of living under the iron jackboot of enviro-Marxo-libero-nannyfascism, why on earth has he chosen to live in L.A.?
Wouldn’t someplace like southeastern Idaho be more to his liking?
It’s because of the absence of religious fundamentalists doing anything about anything silly. God bless California.
He’s not forced to recycle, I don’t know why he says that. He can always cram recycle-able material into the trash, like the slob he wants to be. And if they “remove the trash cans in [his] office building” (which I totally doubt) he’s perfectly welcome to throw the trash on the floor – again, like the slob he wants to be.
Why isn’t he railing against the forces that require him to put trash in a receptacle at all, if he’s so conservative?
Blatt’s favorite political philosopher: Denis Leary in Demolition Man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JizGkM6gbvQ
(Except for the Playboy part, one supposes)
I googled this guy since I don’t know him. I’ll give you a bit of his post: in 2000 he was torn between voting for W or McCain in the CA primary because he found both compelling.
I need to put the cranberries on.
I’m just wondering, did he HAVE any political beliefs before the smoking ban in California and the trans-fat outcry? Like, maybe at one point he cared about people like him being relegated to third-class citizenship, but that all got put on the back burner because some liberal pointed out that Oreos will kill you?
It isn’t the religious conservatives who have told me that I have to separate my trash, even to the point of removing individual trashcans in my office building.
No, actually it was your employer, who wants to pay as little as possible for solid waste service, by reducing the volume of landfill waste (costly) and increasing the volume of recycled waste (cheap). You’re opposed to the free market, businesses reducing their costs, things like that? You want the freedom to increase your employer’s operationg costs?
Why L.A.? I can’t find a link but there’s a wild and crazy group of homos who hate teh buttseks and just want to love other men WITHOUT TEH BUTTSEKS because it’s bad bad bad. Anyway, I’m sure if there’s a concentration of those wackos anywhere, it would be in LA.
So, uh, “freedom” equals “I get to spew my toxic fumes all over everyone else’s air”? I thought conservatives — and especially Libertarians — were supposed to be about “My right to swing my fist ends at the end of your nose.” Apparently that only applies when it doesn’t get in the way of anything they want to do, my, your, or anyone else’s lungs be damned.
God, I hate it when I out-Libertarian these Libertarians, especially since if I had a time machine, I’d go back in time and break Ayn Rand’s hands with extreme prejudice…
I can’t find a link but there’s a wild and crazy group of homos who hate teh buttseks and just want to love other men WITHOUT TEH BUTTSEKS because it’s bad bad bad.
I posted a comment a few weeks ago on some homo-related thread asking if anyone remembered this, someone came up with a link but it wasn’t the one I remembered. I can’t even remember the name of these guys…IIRC they were even mentioned in some Wikipedia page about sexual identity.
They were basically ex-gays with all the self-loathing but not much of the religion or the denying of basic biological urges (well, to some extent).
Trust us, Daniel, we’re your natural allies. We may have our little differences as to whether filthy sodomites merely deserve to be stoned as opposed to having their entire city destroyed by the Lord’s wrathful fire, but you can trust us to support you in your battle with your employer and your city government about what you do with your rubbish.
Things to do when time-travelling:
Strangle Richard Nixon
Leave outline of Mickey Mouse on Nazca plains
Bring Jesus a basket of fluffernutter sandwiches to share at the last supper
Find St. Paul a nice boyfriend.
Introduce the limerick to King David.
Shoot a hadrosaur in the pelvis just to watch it die.
Limericks are too easy in a language where all the plurals rhyme with Elohim.
Maybe lard will come back into vogue.
Actually, it has.
http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-16225419.html
“Lard Made This Country Great”
Is the group PATH?
I notice one of PATH’s signatory organizations is Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality, also known as JONAH.
Teach Hitler to make a living as a street-mime rather than struggling to sell his wretched postcard-paintings.
“Lard Made This Country Great”
http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-16225419.html
Simba, PeeJ, IIRC the group you’re thinking about called themselves “goys” or “g0ys” or something like that.
g0ys.org -GUys into gUys – not gAys…
Start a new religion. A few scrolls here, a relic there–and by now I’d have a following of millions for my Snake Goddess worship.
Is the group PATH?
No, they were pretty much okay with Teh Gay, it was just the “lifestyle” they were opposed to. I know it’s a bit of a tough distinction after hearing wingers say this, but they were slightly to the left of the Catholic “be straight or be celibate” position. They didn’t seem to mind manlove in a broad, general sense but start to get specific and then they had problems.
They were, perhaps unsurprisingly, rather focused on being anti-buttsex, saying that the focus on it was bad for the gay community.
Holy shit that’s it, ADJH.
So they’re saying that gays are being backward-looking, huh?
It wasn’t Jack Nicholson who told us that we can’t handle the Truth!
It wasn’t Twisted Sister who told us that we can’t stop rock and roll !
It wasn’t… I’m sorry, I completely forgot what Mr. Blatt was talking about.
I think I’d show Moses how to walk in a straight line.
Find St. Paul a nice boyfriend.
Susan of Texas, you are my new hero. Too bad I don’t know too many people who would both get that and appreciate it…
I guess they feel that gays are just sitting on the problem.
(thanks, simba b!)
Well, kill Hitler, of course.
That and bring Moses some Cra-Z-Glue.
Introduce bicycles to the Himalayas.
Why would they need a furriner? Bush, Paulson, etc., are doing an excellent job of looting the country right now. There won’t be enough left for B. O. to go Muslim socialist by the time he’s inaugurated.
Give AK-47s to Pocahontas.
Introduce bicycles to the Himalayas.
Or maybe a nice Jewish girl?
buh-duh-BOOM! *crash*
I’d check out whether or not Joan of Arc was really transgendered. Always wondered about that.
“Give guns to the queers,” now that you mention AK-47s. Needn’t go back in time for that, either.
Anything that would make me financially independent today. Stock tips to grandparents (“Be sure to sell before …..”) real estate advice, whatever…
We’ve already had him in the form of — appropriately enough — Prince George from Blackadder III. Go watch that series and tell me it doesn’t fit as satire of the past eight years.
They were, perhaps unsurprisingly, rather focused on being anti-buttsex, saying that the focus on it was bad for the gay community.
I’m curious. If they’re anti-buttsex, what’s their stance on blowjobs?
And if I had a time machine, I’d form a religious order a la the Benedictines or Fransciscans based on good works, scholarship and zydeco music. Or maybe norteno, just something uptempo and dancable with acordians in it.
Carve rocks with pictographs that look like Bart Simpson.
Oh, God. One of my “favorite” right-wing idiocies is their railing against food companies being compelled to stop cooking everything in oils with trans fat because it’s cheaper for them. AFAIK these same companies don’t do the trans fat thing in other countries, or at least they stopped some time back, because other countries don’t let them get away with it.
Give Van Gogh a hug and then go get him laid.
API raises the important question: “Have you ever had a ‘love hangover’?”
Rescue a shitload of first-state butcher covers from the landfill and slowly portion them out over the next forty years
Bring Beethoven Q-Tips.
Give Napoleon shoe lifts.
Get Jesus to build me an entertainment center
Watch a play at the Globe and get Shakespeare drunk afterwards.
stealing shit from him when he’s stuck on the toilet
That would be a neat trick.
No you don’t. The stupid burns away your eyebrows and appendix.
I’ve met Gavin. Its true.
And PeeJ –
I went to school with the Phelps Clan. He’s not inbred-looking enough.
I know it’s been said, but Good God.
I’m sorry. I can’t help it. even as an atheist, I still retain some christian principles.
I feel bad for the guy.
Give Roger Bacon a copy of More Songs About Buildings And Food.
That’s not going to win you any friends at the Gay Islamofascist Abort-a-thon!
I see you sent all your knives out for sharpening before the holidays. It’s the only way. Nice and sharp for dicing up all the wingnuts.
It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats.
“wasn’t religious conservatives” is an interesting way of saying “was nobody at all.” Dude, you can go and buy a block of Imperial margarine and mainline it if you want. The trans-fat backlash is a product of the Sacred Free Market (pbuh).
Dzur, he could even buy actual *lard* if he wanted to! I’ve done so, to try out authentic historical pastry recipes from old cook-books. And they were good, just like bacon is good and roast beef & swiss subs are good and baklava is good (again, all things you can buy pretty much anywhere, at least in the greater Boston area, plus things full of transfats that I *don’t* like too like Italian sausages) but you know, heart attacks? Not so good. So, all things in moderation, but some things more moderately than others.
And I don’t think any state has laws against smoking in the privacy of your own home, though some landlords may forbid it because a) they don’t like trying to get the smell out of the carpets after you leave, b) they don’t want you burning the place down when you fall asleep feeding your addiction at 4am, but that’s that pesky free market, isn’t it? Free to find another apartment building or buy your own house, that’s what those Self-Reliant types would say – rather than insisting upon government regulation to protect the right of drug addicts to toke up anywhere they please, right?
In my state, NH, it was a combination of rebellious peons (bartenders and waitstaff) and frustrated patrons sick of being perpetually *poisoned* by inconsiderate assholes who can’t restrain themselves from indulging anywhere, anywhen (conservatives, all about the self-discipline & restraint, right?) who pushed through the No Smoking In Public Eateries rule, many of them doing so voluntarily before they were able to at last overcome the pro-nicotine faction in the state legislature. For all the talk of it being “destructive” to commerce, it hasn’t been half as bad for restauranteurs as the Bush economy over the past three years…
And you know, I *bet* that some of the NH legislators voting to ban smoking in restaurants *would* qualify or self-identify as “religious conservatives,” just based on the large numbers of people I know who are anti-smoking-in-their-presence regardless of their other beliefs…
API raises the important question: “Have you ever had a ‘love hangover’?”
From teh link—
Why, yes, in fact, it is, or it can be. I speak from recent, personal experience. There is nothing quite like good sex with a loving partner.
…try banging a dude? I dunno.
This person clearly has more problems than solutions.
Out of boredom I just Googled Coheed & Cambria.
Wow. Just, Wow. I thought I knew all of Jack Black’s material. Evidently I was wrong.
I actually encountered an attempt at a justification for the “ghey convservative” thing awhile back. Basically that liberals/Democrats raise your taxes and this guy didn’t want his taxes raised.
That’s it. Beyond the question of being a member of a party which loathes his very existance, taxes was all he gave a rat’s ass about. Kind of more a Libertarian ghey, but still clueless, like a Hispanic guy who wants to join the Minutemen ’cause he likes their stance on free trade.
the next morning I always felt an emptiness.I was soooooo sooooo empty and almost suicidal.
That was probably from a moment just at dawn when, with eyes still closed he murmured “I…I love you.”
And she replied, “Moooo?”
Note to Daniel Blatt:
People recycled during World War II. It’s not something the hippies invented in the 1960s.
he could even buy actual *lard* if he wanted to
He should leave L.A. and move to the South, where if it doesn’t move fast enough it gets deep-fried.
One of Mom’s freinds’ sons is a firefighter – this is going to be a busy couple days for him, since there’s this Southern thing for deep-fried turkeys and after a few beers rednecks decide to go out on the deck, fire up the barrel of oil (full to the top) and drop Tom in. You can guess the rest, I’m sure.
the next morning I always felt an emptiness.I was soooooo sooooo empty and almost suicidal.
Also I was in a bathtub full of ice-cubes. There was a telephone beside the bathtub and a note pinned to the wall.
Gheys who are against teh buttsecks = g0ys (pronounced: gee, zero? why, yes!)
I am so not making this up.
Speaking of things that are like totally gay and not in the good way, has anyone seen VD Hanson’s latest? It’s about 38 kinds of stupid, with a big helping of silly and a soupçon of batshit crazy.
What Republicans Will Be Grateful For This Thanksgiving.
Happy Turkey Day and happy holidays to everyone from JP in Pottersville.
I scoffed at the deep-fried turkey – until I had some. That shit is tasty.
I hope religious conservatives continue their present course of not trying to forbid me to have it.
Well if there’s a soupcon, I’m in!
Huh, there was supposed to be a link there. G0ys.
Apparently the ne plus ultra of man-on-man lovin’ is the act of rubbing p3n0rz together, and anyone who engages in *IITB is a disgusting perverted whore. Or something like that.
Oh, look, a soupçon:
That’s just silly.
First, yep Jake that’s it. G0ys. “Guys into guys, not gays. To answer (or not) a query from someone else upthread, I can’t force myself to go through their site in detail and I didn’t see anything right away about blowjobs, frottage or anything else. They’re just seriously down on “ass sex”, “arse phucking” and so on and so forth.
Second, it just occurred to me that it wasn’t the religious right who outlawed foie gras, either. So we secular leftists deserve a demerit on that account.
On the other hand, since the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, and the left is eliminating those, aren’t we (the left, that is) actually defending America?
Jim: thanks for teaching me a new word -onomatopoeia. Though I doubt I’ll remember it tomorrow. Too bad, I’m sure it comes in handy all the time!
But I have an appointment!
thanks for teaching me a new word -onomatopoeia. Though I doubt I’ll remember it tomorrow.
Just remember the sound it makes.
Bone Ted Haggard while he was still gay … Oh, wait.
Speaking of things that are like totally gay and not in the good way, has anyone seen VD Hanson’s latest? It’s about 38 kinds of stupid, with a big helping of silly and a soupçon of batshit crazy.
Just a soup[c with piggy tail]on? Whoo-ee. That one “column” can provide S,N! with material well into Obama’s second term.
Which is appropriate, since VDH seems to have been working on that piece for at least twenty years. (“If one wishes to see a fine film, they are now usually foreign, such as Das Boot or Breaker Morant.”)
VD Hanson says gays done made young men talk like women, with high-pitched voices. I think VD is an old fart whose fart farm just failed, and now he’s telling everyone to get off his imaginary Ancient Roman lawn.
Take an axe to Joseph Smith before he foisted that bullshit on teh idjits.
The next morning I always felt an emptiness.I was soooooo sooooo empty and almost suicidal.
Also I was in a bathtub full of ice-cubes. There was a telephone beside the bathtub and a note pinned to the wall.
And I said, “Not again!”
Take an axe to Joseph Smith before he foisted that bullshit on teh idjits.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Kick L. Ron Hubbard in the nuts.
Be constructive. Teach the guy some card tricks and he needn’t have written all that other bullshit.
I thought the plural was goyim.
In case y’all haven’t noticed, the city of Mumbai India has been struck by numerous terrorist attacks. Very sad and not a laughing matter at all.
That said, perhaps we could loan George W Bush to the country of India for protection through the end of this year.
But wait!
If you act now, we could even throw in Dick Cheney at no extra charge!
Are you calling the theory that the Native Americans are the Lost Tribe of Isreal bullshit? Or that an angel of the Lord gave graven gold tablets to Smith?
You, sir, are a religious bigot. Next think, you’ll be telling us that Herod never sent everyone home for a tax collection, and that Bethlehem didn’t exist then anyway.
Be constructive. Teach the guy some card tricks and he needn’t have written all that other bullshit.
Shit, why stop there? Teach him how to read, fachrissakes.
He was a flimflam artist. How about introduce him to PT Barnum?
And then give him a copy of Dianetics.
I’d go back in time and give St. Cyril a good beating. Any asshole who invents a new alphabet when he already knows at least four is a criminal.
Freud could use a swift kick in the nads, too.
some evil plot dreamed up by illiberal white separatists
Oh, yeah, keeyrist, ’cause white Europeans did everything there ever was to be done and bestest too!
Gee, Mr. VD, just who built Great Zimbabwe again?
I’d go back in time and give St. Cyril a good beating. Any asshole who invents a new alphabet when he already knows at least four is a criminal.
Beating a guy for an obvious medical condition – dyslexia – is just cruel.
You would have preferred the Glagolitic script?
Editor Korir?
He could have suckered the yokels into Latin, but noooooooo…
Are you calling the theory that the Native Americans are the Lost Tribe of Isreal bullshit?
No, not exactly. I’m calling it not a theory. I’m calling it the wackiest justification for gettin some from all them nubile younguns in all of history. (Even at that, I ‘spose they figured they’d be nubile sooner or later so what’s the big problem?)
No, not bullshit. He predated Barnum by nearly a century. He did a better sales job than Pat Robertson. He got away with murder. So it wasn’t just bullshit.
Convince Ho that there was nothing worth fighting over south of the 17th parallel….
mikey
On the other hand, no fuckbum without him.
Invest in wetsuit manufacturer stocks before the Permanent Conservative Majority rolled in.
Are you calling the theory that the Native Americans are the Lost Tribe of Isreal bullshit? Or that an angel of the Lord gave graven gold tablets to Smith?
Why, just ’cause Smith’s account sounded a whole lot like occult treasure hunting, and ’cause nobody else ever saw the plates, and ’cause Smith was skunked by coming up with a bogus translation of Egyptian writings, why that doesn’t mean it never happened!
Convince Ho that there was nothing worth fighting over south of the 17th parallel….
Convince him to sing “Tiny Bubbles” without ukulele accompaniment…
PS – I take umbrage at being called a religous bigot. I’ve been areligious since I can remember.
I joke, PeeJ. I think all religions are made up and equally incomprehensible.
Glagolithic is a very cool system of writing and I will not cotton to any criticism of it, thenkyew.
We oppose Fuckbum.
Rescue a shitload of first-state butcher covers from the landfill and slowly portion them out over the next forty years
And you’d never have to work a day in your life. I’d go shopping for the bobbleheads and those $3.50 Seltaeb figures and leave ’em all in their original boxes.
Deliver a lifetime supply of Prozac to Edvard Munch.
“House Homo.”
Yeah, I know. I just couldn’t help myself, Susan. I warn’t really offended.
ALSO, Fuckbum WordPress!
Fuckbum for President, 2012!
FTW!!!1!
I joke, PeeJ. I think all religions are made up and equally incomprehensible.
Well, that’s just ’cause you haven’t found the right one yet. 😉
Rescue a shitload of first-state butcher covers from the landfill and slowly portion them out over the next forty years
Took me a minute to figure that one out.
No, for me it’d be Action Comics #1, acid-free backing and mylar.
I might even make enough to pay back for the time machine that way.
One day I was on the ground
When I needed a hand
And it couldn’t be found
Glagolithic is a
very cool system of writingbrief period of prehistory squeezed in just after the Neolithic, but not recognised by all archaeologists. In fact it is not recognised by any archaeologists apart from Professor Glag.And Chinese? What noodling proto-hippie thought that one up? I’d go back in time and give the inventor of Chinese a magnet board with Fisher Price letters.
Professor Glag
Josh St. Lawrence’s uncle, in case you didn’t know.
Oriya.
Basically Hindi, but written on banana leaves and without any horizontal lines to avoid splitting said leaves.
For the record, Blatt didn’t write that quote. He excerpted it from someone else’s blog which he links to. The someone else, I think, is not gay.
Still, Blatt endorses it, which is bad enough. No, wait–being a gay Republican is bad enough. In fact it’s pathological, especially since (as I continually
and obsessively tell people I run to on the street), the Republican Party
has nothing to do with conservatism.
Hey, Clif, I tagged you with one of those stupid memes:
http://www.iamtrex.com/?p=2059
I might even make enough to pay back for the time machine that way.
Everyone knows you buy a time machine for a hundred million dollars, paid at the rate of a dollar a year. The time machine salesman’s just going to get in his time machine, go 100 million years in the future and be back in time for dinner with his money…
mikey
Oh, and check out Kufic calligraphy. Pretty damn cool stuff.
http://www.omniglot.com/writing/mongolian.htm
Lovely, but with the Arabic problem of mutable letters.
I’d go back to Scotland around the year 800, with a bag of Scrabble letters with half the vowels missing, and invite the local tribesmen to record the spelling of all the place-names by reaching into the bag for a random handful of letters and arranging them on the board in any old order.
No, wait, I think someone’s done that.
I see the BS there about “changing hearts and minds.” A half-ass response only exposes 50 percent of the asses.
A lot of crying there for all the hurt feelings caused by the boycotts and the public shamings. GayPat whines’ “What about their ‘fiduciary entitlements’???” At the dead core of libertarianism is the denial of history and a conflation of entitlement, convenience and liberty. Those who cowtow to the monied and religious classes that are a State as powerful as any political body in this country get crumbs and orts.
That’s why confrontation in public spaces and blows to the balance sheet are the ways to go – meeting “polite” discrimination with threats against status and money is the only reasonable course of action…
Montgomery? Why take a seat at the front of the bus if they’re willing to let you ride?
Greenboro? Why sit at the lunch counter if they’ll feed you standing up in the back alley?
Selma? Why march the Bridge if you’re gonna screw up traffic?
Heart-to-heart talks with the ignorant has their place, but these tactic gaypat frets about are working: A poll this week said eight percent of Prop 8’s “yes” voters now regret their vote.
Does Fuckbum contain trans-fats?
Film the demise of Catherine teh Greatest.
Tape record Nelson’s last words – did he really say “Kiss me Griddly?”
And most importantly, find out just who the fuck really invented the bagel!
Does Fuckbum contain trans-fats?
Brazilian Fuckbum often does.
Wait a minute – is there now a separate microculture of overweight transvestites?
find out just who the fuck really invented the bagel!
Superman’s grandfather, Bag-El.
when hasn’t there been?
Lovely, but with the Arabic problem of mutable letters.
For some reason most syllabaries do that.
Though if you think about it it isn’t too much different than English – you have to know at least two different characters for each letter depending on whether it’s lower case or capital.
and ’cause Smith was skunked by coming up with a bogus translation of Egyptian writings, why that doesn’t mean it never happened!
Trying to think of that mental gymnastic routine that Althouse pulled off, but I don’t want my brain to hurt itself.
I’d go back in time with a macaw that can swear and install it in the Holy of Holies in Jerusalem.
I’m surprised no one has yet linked the Book of Mormon Song
Book of Mormon stories that my teacher taught to me
All about the Lamanites in ancient history
something something
something something
in this land
right-eous-leeeeee
One thing I do like about the Lamanites, though.
They’re waterproof.
Perhaps since it’s Thanksgiving you might Toungejack the Fuckbum…
mikey
I’d go back and make sure General Sherman not only burned Atlanta to the ground, but plowed up the whole Confederacy and sowed plutonium on it.
There’s nothing saying the fuckbum has to be teh ghey, right? ‘Cuz Salma Hayek
Oh never mind.
Yeah. Hayek Fuckbum. good times.
Convince Seward not to buy Alaska.
Go to Canada!!!
mikey
I’d go back in time with a macaw that can swear
What does the Clan MacAw tartan look like?
Speaking of Canada, and g0ys…
it so happens that the postal code for Piopolis, Quebec, is G0Y 1H0.
That’s about half a dozen double-entendres waiting to happen.
The not-unrelated topic of Shakira’s Ass attracted my all-time favourite comment at the Poorman Institute:
Do you think she knows she’s doing that? Maybe it’s a nervous tic or something..
That’s about half a dozen double-entendres waiting to happen.
Always the same. You wait half-an-hour for one and then three come along at once.
The fact is, you liberals say you are for the gay. But when a gay man is a republican and conservative, you want nothing to do with him. What hipocrits, you want to love gays and hate the ones you don’t like and make it all PC and right, but you have no facts and logic. And the media is biased.
The not-unrelated topic of Shakira’s Ass
There’s something I could get into.
WHAT!?!?!?
Dammit, fucking WordPress messed up my comedic timing.
No Shakira’s Ass for you, WordPress.
Quit
~
Shakira / nervous tic 2012!
If I could go back in time, I’d return to the point before Montana was infested with rabid pelicans, in order to watch their gentle forebearers, the terradactyls, glide peacefully through the primordial skies.
Are you kidding man? The double dactyls were twice as nice.
Terror dactyls?
Isn’t that what we’re fighting against?
Which, of course, led me to “The Pussy Strut” which led me to some awesome memories of LA, mexico and Arizona in the early ’80s.
Thanks, Thunder!
mikey
Heh, Truth once again alone during the holidays and desperate for attention, posting in multiple threads in hopes that someone, somewhere will pay attention to him.
Sorry, Truth, people don’t like dipshits.
I’m here to help, mikey.
Not to mention, procrastinate. Some how that five hour drive I’ve got ahead of me keeps receding into the future.
Well, yes, youngster, I like pie too.
I’m going to be making a pecan pie in the morning to take to Thanksgiving.
So your joyful pronouncements of you undying love for filled pastry deserts is indeed heartwarming…
mikey
Perhaps you need a new playlist. I’m all over the Go Gos, Missing Persons, Loverboy, The Motels, REO, .38 Special, The Police…
You’ve got me in an ’83 groove, and know what?
A case could be made that there’s a worse place to be tonight.
Drive with care. The rubber side goes DOWN. The two-tone cars are the bad guys….
mikey
Snark: The creeping menace.
Are you kidding man? The double dactyls were twice as nice
Those fuuthermuckers were MEAN!! Unlike the gentle terradactyl, which gathered the suspended pollen in the air in it’s baleen-webbed beak, leaving the humans of 4000 years ago undisturbed.
If I were going to go back in time, I think I’d go find St. Augustine and tell him to stick with the hedonism and forget about all the other stuff.
You’ve got me in an ‘83 groove, and know what?
A case could be made that there’s a worse place to be tonight.
Mikey, go back to 1980 (let the jukebox load):
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=170337604
I’m certainly thankful I’m not in Harlem celebrating the Fourth of July with supposedly ‘human’ black-a-moors.
They’re all Moslems, you know. The white man’s burden is terribly heavy. (That’s that thing where you keep away from duskies, isn’t it? Or is it property taxes? I’m not up on my Churchill.0
mikey: Ah, pecan pie – the one good thing Texas has ever done for us.
I believe you missed a “good things from Texas” thread a while back.
Buddy, I might have a reputation, but I don’t like any pie that much.
Except cherry-rhubarb, I mean.
And, in practical, definable terms, the daily threats to my liberty are not being pushed by religious conservatives. It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve told me I’m breaking the law if I light up in a bar. It wasn’t religious conservatives who’ve forbidden me from buying food made with trans fats. … It isn’t the religious conservatives who have told me that I have to separate my trash, even to the point of removing individual trashcans in my office building.
Nope.
They’re just telling you to curl up and die, you perveted fatherfucker.
Me, I’d rather have to move my garbage to another can, but be accepted.
I’m thankful I’m not in Mumbai, celebrating Thanksgiving with followers of the Religion of Peace.
I have frequent flier miles. Can I buy you a ticket? Maybe you’ll, you know, get caught up in the action…
At the risk of being controversial, this is merely a statement of personal experience.
But the girl that goes home with you in Dallas, with vomit crusted on her chin and bruises on her knuckles is about six point seven percent prettier than the girl in LA that tells you to fuck off or her boyfriend’s bodyguards are going to fuck you up.
So I guess you can tell where my sympathies lie…
mikey
Ok, way late to the thread with this, but quotable Kelly Bundy:
“Nothing’s for sure but death in Texas.”
“Daddy, what would chairs look like if people’s knees bent the other way?”
Jennifer, scroll WAYYYY up for another Kelly Bundy quote.
the terradactyls
Pthere pmight pbe pa “p” pmissing pin pthere psomewhere.
actor – yes, I know – I use that one all the time myself. That’s what prompted me to add to the list.
Ah, my apologies.
I’m on the horns of an enema.
Ah, yes, Gozhpodin P. willing to use any tragedy to slime people he finds a problem with.
Hey Toofie, howzabout that evidence that America was inspired by Christians? Find any yet?
What’s the cumulative total now for the number of Hindus in India killed by crazy-ass Muslims vs. the number of Muslims killed by crazy-ass Hindus? I haven’t been keeping score. Seems to be one of those endless cycles of violence. I used to have one of those too, until the police told me to take the scythes off the wheels.
Pere, you actually anticipate the little chicken will answer you?
I’m going to be making a pecan pie in the morning to take to Thanksgiving.
mikey: On the very rare occasion I make a homemade pie that’s not for a dinner party or holiday event I ALWAYS make pecan pie. It is just the definition of divine. As a dessert purist I do my own dough for the crust,cand no blasphemous Cool Whip® for this baby — real cream whipped with a couple of pinches of powdered sugar tops my sacred pecan pie.
So about 10 years ago Aunt MzNicky makes a quickie peanut-butter pie to bring to Thanksgiving just as an extra backup dessert. You know, the recipe for which appears in “women’s magazines” and newspaper adverts and which incorporates the dreaded Cool Whip® and Eagle Brand® condensed milk and a block of cream cheese and peanut butter and you glop it into a ready-made chocolate crumb crust and drizzle Hersheys® chocolate syrup over the top. Well of course all the kids go crazy for the goddam peanut butter pie and have to have it every damn year thereafter, including now when they’re all grownups and should be mature enough to appreciate a good pecan pie and put away childish things such as prefab pb pie. But, sadly, no. Now guess who’s stuck with making the goddam peanut butter pie every fucking Thanksgiving while others bring storebought pecan pie and the inevitable tub of Cool Whip® to top it off? It’s just not right, and now that we always have Thanksgiving at my house, I’m pulling rank and assigning peanut butter pie to someone else and taking back the pecan, and I’ll threaten everyone with Tofurkey from now on if I get any lip.
Also, why would anyone in Mumbai celebrate Thanksgiving?
“I’m thankful I’m not in Uganda, celebrating Veterans’ Day with *those* people.”
Is this guy really complaining about having to sort recyclables? His life must be fucking great!
Mr. Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico beat me to it. I was going to inquire as to why Thanksgiving would be celebrated in Mumbai.
Pere, you actually anticipate the little chicken will answer you?
No, but it’s amusing to harass the peanut gallery.
But the girl that goes home with you in Dallas, with vomit crusted on her chin and bruises on her knuckles is about six point seven percent prettier
Whose vomit? This could still be a deal-breaker.
I’m thankful I’m not in Islamabad celebrating Valentine’s Day.
“Daddy, what would chairs look like if people’s knees bent the other way?”
Like GayPatriotWest’s vision of the Republican Party.
I’m thankful I’m not in Savannah celebrating Lincoln’s Birthday.
I’m glad I’m not in Prague celebrating Ramadan. What a waste of drinking opportunities that would be.
I’ll threaten everyone with Tofurkey from now on
Noooooo! Not the *shudder* Tofurkey!
I am, however, thankful for Sadly Nosians and that Obama was elected. And for good Sauvignon Blanc, which I’ve been drinking liberally tonight as I make cranberry sauce, apricot vinaigrette for the spinach salad, and the goddam peanut butter pie.
DrDick: Unlike just about everything else, dessert I take VERY seriously.
I’m thankful I’m not a pissant right-wing bigoted troll who has nothing better to do with my sorry wasted life than hang around liberal blog sites and whine at the commenters that they aren’t playing my stupid Mad-Libs games,
I’m thankful I’m not in Constantinople celebrating Gooberday, because neither of them exist.
MzNicky – not to harsh on your favorite, but pecan pie has never been my thing. Maybe I’ve just never had one that was good, but to me it’s always tasted like pecans in Karo syrup. Now pumpkin pie – I make pumpkin pies that totally kick ass. The secret is to add a little sorghum syrup.
I’m thankful I’m not celebrating Saturnalia in Vatican City with the followers of Paul.
Cause that would be awkward.
MzNicky – While I don’t really eat deserts, I do take food very seriously. Life is far too short to eat Cool Whip or any other ersatz food. Since I live alone and my family are far away, I am cooking tandoori turkey legs; baked white sweet potato topped with butter (NEVER margarine), paprika, cayenne, and garam masala (home made); and chard braised with pumpkin and mushrooms. May make a savory cranberry sauce as a side.
I’m thankful to live in the first majority white country to ever elect a minority chief executive.
I admit defeat, but ‘Zimbabwe’ is both intrinsically funnier and nearer and dearer to wingnuts’ hearts.
–
Also: the use of whipped cream on pecan pie is baffling to me. It’s already mostly sugar: isn’t it kind of like topping a five-layer cake with syrup?
And while I lack the capacity to enjoy anything made of peanut butter, almond butter + caramel ice cream is amazing, if awful for you.
–
In general, Muslims in India tend to caucus with the INC, which is generally one of the bigger tents in a functioning democracy but leans strongly left. The BJP, the opposition, makes a habit of treating violent, aggressive provocations and unilateral rescinding of political rights as a fundamental right of the Hindu majority (this has gone as far as to include bulldozing historic mosques and instigating riots in cities with large Muslim minorities).
In the case of Mumbai specifically, the Shiv Sena – a party whose founder as recently as the 80s or 90s promised to be a Marathi version of Hitler – has dominated local government and society and has repeatedly launched violent rhetorical, economic, and political attacks on the large North Indian and Muslim population. The result of this has been to make the Muslim population of Maharashtra generally and Mumbai specifically more violent and desperate than they are in any other part of the country – for the most part, unlike the rest of the country, the Muslim community is organized primarily by radical and fundamentalist parties, who are seen as the only effective and appropriate response to SS aggression.
Add that to the fact that the West has generally supported Shiv Sena more closely than any normal fascist party and you get a pretty solid recipe for extremist violence. Outside of Mumbai, these kinds of Muslim-Hindu clashes are rare and muddy – when they do happen, they’re often a result of BJP perfidy, being as how the BJP’s equivalent among the Muslims are just far less numerous and far less powerful – but in Mumbai, nine times out of nine it’s gonna be Shiv Sena behind the violence when you dig down far enough.
Also, why is Truth using the phrase “Mumbai”? Aren’t pissants like him supposed to still be loyal to the old British names?
C’mon man, it’s Bombay! You can remember cause it’s got ‘bomb’ in it, which you want to do to the whole area.
There’s your problem – the good kind uses molasses.
As a dessert purist I do my own dough for the crust,cand no blasphemous Cool Whip® for this baby — real cream whipped with a couple of pinches of powdered sugar tops my sacred pecan pie.
One morning I made my mom some pancakes topped with fresh peaches and cream and she asked me if it was Cool Whip or Dream Whip. Fuckin’ bitch.
No, no, no: he’s loyal to the British names where the new names weren’t (as in Mumbai) invented by people who openly admire the Fuhrer.
It’s Mumbai because they kill Muslims there, but it’s Calcutta because indefatigable doughty beaches surrender.
‘Zimbabwe’ is both intrinsically funnier and nearer and dearer to wingnuts’ hearts.
Do they still call it Rhodesia? You know, consistent with that old British name thing Leon mentioned.
a party whose founder as recently as the 80s or 90s promised to be a Marathi version of Hitler
Oh, WELL, that can’t possibly be right ’cause we love freance and peeance so much and hate anyone who’s a fascist would never ever ever (again) do business deals with fascists (like in the 1930s) and never again and Greatest Generation and buy buy buy a bond and all that!
Right?
Well, my big dessert speciality is flan, which I only make at Christmas time. I give away individual ones in custard cups and make another batch on Christmas day for dessert – it’s hard to beat a good flan, though there are those who don’t like anything “eggy”. But I must say, I make a mighty fine flan, smooth as silk that melts in your mouth, with that lovely caramel syrup…mmmmm…
“Zimbabwe” is a lot more fun to say than “Rhodesia”.
It’s just another front in our Spanish Civil War. All glory to the Condor Legion!
I have to admit – as far as desserts go, I never thought I’d like pecan pie ’til I moved to the South. DAMN those are good, I end up finding out.
Almost makes up for no longer being able to buy “Baby Watson” cheesecake.
in practical, definable terms, the daily threats to my liberty are not being pushed by religious conservatives
Only if you don’t like the porn.
It’s Mumbai because they kill Muslims there, but it’s Calcutta because indefatigable doughty beaches surrender.
Psst…Mumbai = Bombay.
Calcutta = Kolkata
Getting back to the Bundys, I found an awesome “Polk High 33” T-shirt at whatonearthcatalog.com. Lots of great shirts there.
I’m really under your skin, aren’t I?
No, despite your fervent wishes.
I’d rather call it “Mumbai” ’cause that keeps me from thinking about Doctor Bombay from”Bewitched”.
Most of us would consider going to one of those de-gaying camps to surreptitiously pick up taut, innocent Mormon twinks a lark. He sees it as the grim certainty that prevents him from being a good Republican.
I have to tell you, I’m going to be really happy when the American right is no longer primarily defined by sexual neurosis.
Jennifer,
After the comment at this link, posted here a bit back, I forget by whom, though I have my suspicions, I am never eating flan again.
I think I still have a redstate account as “ghengisflan”, though.
I’m thankful that I live in a free country where low-normals are allowed access to the Internet to post irrelevant posts that we can all make fun of.
“Zimbabwe” is a lot more fun to say than “Rhodesia”.
That’s true, and I imagine the name “Rhodes” reminds the wingnuts of teh Clenis because he was a Rhodes scholar.
Make that “the first comment”. There was only one the last time I was there.
“Zimbabwe” is a lot more fun to say than “Rhodesia”.
Rhodesia sounds like a dental condition.
I’m really under your skin, aren’t I?
A little Calamine lotion will take care of that.
Rrrr, by first I mean temporally, at the bottom, rather than from the top.
I know it ain’t traditional, but my SO makes a delicious chocolate & bourbon pecan pie.
And not to brag, but I’m really good at eating it.
“Cheri Deeper”: That must have been traumatic. It’s like when I’d go to the trouble of whipping actual cream and The Boy would whine “Where’s tha Cool Whip?”
alec: I make pecan pie with Karo dark syrup. And Jennifer: Pecans with Karo syrup and whipped cream = orgasmic. Maybe it’s a Southern thing. If I had my way I’d do pecan pie and pumpkin cheesecake w/ gingersnap crumb crust, another favorite. Pumpkin pie usually is just too bland for me, but my brother and my son love it so we always have it.
DrDick: With family far away, are you having friends in for that feast? Except for the turkey legs (I’m vegetarian) that all sounds fabulous.
My favorite Kelly Bundyism is either her correction of her father’s pronunciation of “wheat germ” (“That’s ‘GURM’), or her reference to the rapper “Snoopy Dog Dog”.
That was the idea – Mumbai is the only one the wingnuts seem to use reliably. Kolkata / Chennai / Kozhikode / etc are nowhere near as doughtily freedomtastic as Mumbai to them for some strange reason.
Life is far too short to eat Cool Whip or any other ersatz food.
Well, those sure as hell aren’t going to make life any longer!
Ah, I missed your point, Alec. Mea cupola.
I have to tell you, I’m going to be really happy when the American right is no longer primarily defined by sexual neurosis.
Are those monkeys flying out of my butt?
re: semen flan – Djur and I suspect it’s an elaborate prank, although it is legitimately possible to brew and distill alcohol from semen in sufficient quantities. Of course, chances are pretty good it’d be indistinguishable from whiskey, but. . .
Really? What’s the difference between it and regular karo syrup? I’ve never gotten corn syrup myself – must be a Southern thing, although at least part of it these days is that having gotten used to diet sodas I find stuff oversweetened by corn syrup vaguely greasy and disgusting.
in re. pumpkin pie: That’s one of the two things that changed for me palate-wise as I grew up (the other being a move from hating tomatoes except for in ketchup and tomato soup to just hating tomatoes in everything) – and I don’t know how it could be bland. The entire point is the rich patina of spices – kind of like eggs in that if the primary taste is from the headline ingredient you’re doing something wrong.
Also Jennifer: Flan is wonderful. I’ve never made one but I love it.
Never. Going. To. Happen.
Your butt shall remain monkey-free, at least on that count.
re: semen flan – Djur and I suspect it’s an elaborate prank, although it is legitimately possible to brew and distill alcohol from semen in sufficient quantities.
So she wasn’t lying when she said she had been out getting ingredients…
MzNicky – Unfortunately I have a bad cold which I do not wish to share so I will be going solo. I was supposed to go over to a friend’s mother’s house for
Thanksgiving (nothing like having somebody else – who has been doing it for more than 50 years – cook for you), but am improvising instead.
Hey, it could happen: on the balance, would you be more likely to suspect Evan Bayh or Lincoln Chafee of swindling Congress out of millions of dollars to bribe the staff of an aviary-cum-bordello into silence? When you’ve got a national party specifically devoted to fucking birds, until you get rid of it you’re going to have to watch your owls’ backs whenever one of its members starts talking about the wise thing to do.
You know what I really want?
Some Thai chili-lime cashews from Trader Joe’s. Too bad there isn’t a Trader Joe’s within 300 miles of here.
Ok, I was going to pretend I didn’t see the semen cookbook, but yaaar, that was nasty.
MzNicky – flan is actually not too hard to make. The secret is to cook it for exactly the right amount of time – overdone, it gets “grainy” and underdone, it’s runny.
When you’ve got a national party specifically devoted to fucking birds
I really have to reconsider my Democratic registration….
it is legitimately possible to brew and distill alcohol from semen
Please resist the temptation to cast aspersions at Akvavit.
“Flan” is a fun word, too.
But the all-time most fun word to say? “Squid”.
SquidSquid
SquidSquidSquid
SquidSquid
SquidSquidSquid
Squid
Squid
Squid
See?
Semen alcohol would probably go well with civet-poop coffee.
Ok, I was going to pretend I didn’t see the semen cookbook, but yaaar, that was nasty.
Do they have a recipe for an ejaculatte?
I find that I’m not really into anything that contains Karo syrup. It’s just too sweet and too gelatinous. Then again, I have a mania for HFCS-free food. Anything that’s too overbearing taste-wise – such as Karo syrup – or too rich – such as cheesecake or alfredo sauce – I pretty much avoid.
Pumpkin pie needs fresh spices and a lacing of molasses, along with three (not two) eggs. I bake it in a 10″ pan, and it’s like a slightly firm pumpkin custard. Whipped cream from a can is real cream and easy to take along when driving to Grandma’s.
A pecan pie is a custard pie too. If it’s baked right it’ll be smooth and slightly firm also. If you ever go to Houston, get one of Goode Co.’s pecan pies; it’s perfect.
I think Karo is different than the HFCS used as a sweetener. HFCS just tastes like shit generally, and is used solely because it is cheap. If I want anything sugary, it has sugar in it, thank you very much. Anything. I could be mistaken, but I don’t think the Karo is processed into being a product suitable only for industrial use, as is HFCS.
Eh, fuck it. Melamine pie for all!
There is an upper limit on how good pumpkin pie can be.
There was very little distance between the worst pumpkin pie I’ve ever had and the best.
But the all-time most fun word to say? “Squid”.
Squid is a very woody word.
Octopus is very tinny.
HFCS just tastes like shit generally, and is used solely because it is cheap.
Thanks to BigAg tariffs on imported cane sugar!
You can always bake and puree pumpkin, to have an even better flavor. But pie is personal, and to each his own flavor.
Pie for Bush: Gravel crust, blood pudding slices, and broken eggshell custard.
When you’ve got a
national partycollege at Cambridge specifically devoted to fucking birdsFized.
The swans are reserved for the dons.
Also,
squidflange.Karo dark syrup is similar to molasses but it’s sweeter. It’s the recipe I’ve always had for pecan pie so that’s what I use. Hey, it’s not like I have it every day.
Pie for K-Lo: White sugar pie with light Karo syrup, amd crushed sugar cubes sprinked on top.
Pie for K-Lo: White sugar pie with light Karo syrup, amd crushed sugar cubes sprinked on top.
That takes care of three of the basic four food groups…sweet, crunchy, syrupy…but what about lardy?
Pie for Jonah Gldberg: Lard crust, cracklings, Limburger cheese, cowardly custard.
Pie for The Truth:
Bullshit coated bullshit with bullshit filling.
> Pie for The Truth:
I have a feeling he would enjoy the semen flan more.
My favorite thing to do with pumpkins is to roast the seeds. Other than that, unless it’s bombarded and drowned out with spice, I don’t care for pumpkins any more than any other squash.
Pie for B. Daniel Blatt: A soft baking soda crust and vinegar filling, topped with delicious traditional fiberglass.
Good idea–
Pie for Ann Cuulter: Bone Meal crust, Vinegar pie with shards of broken glass.
I don’t care for pumpkins any more than any other squash
Loooove pumpkin and other squashes. Pumpkin soup, braised pumpkin, pork stew with pumpkin. Yum!
Pie for our trolls:
Le Bouffon – Denatured hemp baked into terrible organic crust and thrown at the 1980s.
La Verite – Empty crust black-faced with coal.
Monsieur Urban-Meyer l’Entraîneur – Empty crust black-faced with coal and shaped delicately into a butt.
Le Montagnard Rugoux – Enormous, terrible apple pie bought at K-Mart for no less than $150.
LE MONTAGNARD RUGOUX – Enormous, terrible apple pie bought at K-Mart for no less than $150 & garnished delicately with urine.
Croisadeur Écossais – Pineapple upside-down cake severely overcooked, enclosed in raw dough, and sent back to Hawaii where it belongs.
La Verite – I see DrDick has yet to touch the Ebonics Pie I served him last April. Enjoy your hypiecrisy, libs.
I have a feeling he would enjoy the semen flan more.
With a nice steaming cup of civet-poop coffee.
On second thought, just a nice steaming cup of civet poop would be more suitable.
Amy Alkon – enormous, terrible apple pie bought at Target for no less than $200 and protected from dhimmitude with a carefully-constructed trench filled with dog-shit.
Pie for Michelle Malkin: Pot pie crust with jimson weed seeds, diced squirrel and mandrake root, with snake venom and belladonna gravy.
Pie for Michelle Malkin: Pot pie crust with jimson weed seeds, diced squirrel and mandrake root, with snake venom and belladonna gravy.
Doan’ forget d’ side order o’ snotchos.
OMG, gonna be a pie from heaven above, gonna be filled with hilarious love. Y’all are excellent. I am laughing. Whoa! Head rush.
Pie for Daffy “Giant Sammitch” Hugh: Cheap brittle pie crust from Wal-Mart clearance aisle stuffed with mayonnaise and shredded copies of Knee Deep In The Dead.
For David Frum, Croût à bois-farine et urine farcé avec lapin-du-roof et fines grasses, répandué avec porc à Donner.
You shall eat, by and by
In that glorious land in the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (that’s a lie!)
Pie for TIDOS Yankee: flaky fine pastry crust with a piquant filling of nitroglycerine, U-235, Pu-239, gen-yewine Iraqi anthrax, and black powder (just like Mom used to make).
Of course, it is only fitting to serve any bubble-fluffer the much-beloved tourtes-à-fondamentelles-fortes, but the honor of the long-pig topping is something Frum alone has earned.
I can tell by the pie on your tie
you’re an American, well so am I!
Hi bub, How are ya? How do ya’ do?
And while we’re on the subject…
And while we’re on the subject…
(And while we’re on the subject)
How’s your old Wazoo?
Or, as the MSM would have it, ‘pop-tarts’.
Pie for Sadly, No: Itching powder crust, banana peel pie, topped with whipped cream and cherry bombs.
[blockquote]You, sir, are a religious bigot. Next think, you’ll be telling us that Herod never sent everyone home for a tax collection, and that Bethlehem didn’t exist then anyway.[/blockquote]
It’s late, but I think you mean Nazareth, not Bethlehem.
No, Bethlehem. I read it on some scholarly paper a while ago and checked with Wikipedia. Bethlehem didn’t exist at that time.
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (that’s a lie!)
My homeboy Woody certainly gave it to you straight.
lapin-du-roof
A year or two ago, Mehitabel the Abyssian brought in this bloody huge rat. A veritable patriarch among rats. For lack of anything better to do, I sealed it up in a supermarket meat tray, printed out a plausible-looking Own-Brand style of label describing the contents as “Drainpipe Rabbit” (complete with serving suggestion), and sneaked it into the brother-in-law’s freezer.
I still resent the unjust way that his kids immediately leaped to the conclusion that I was the responsible party, when they found it there.
Find St. Paul a nice boyfriend.
And why not? After all, Jesus had twelve of them.
It was in Oklahoma City,
It was on a Christmas Day,
There was a whole car load of groceries
Come with a note to say:
Well, you say that I’m an outlaw,
You say that I’m a thief.
Here’s a Christmas dinner
For the families on relief.
Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered
I’ve seen lots of funny men;
Some will rob you with a six-gun,
And some with a fountain pen.
And as through your life you travel,
Yes, as through your life you roam,
You won’t never see an outlaw
Drive a family from their home.
-Woody Guthrie “Pretty Boy Floyd”
Fixed.
Gerald Curl –
I used to live a few miles from where Pretty Boy grew up and where many of his kin still live. He was still a big folk hero in the Oklahoma hill country even into the 70s.
Pie for larkspur: Hemp flour crust, magic mushroom and coca leaf pot pie,
Borewdom Pie: Vanilla custard pie with vanilla sauce and flecks of vanilla seed, on a white plate
Bad Spelling Pie: Crumbled cookie crust, aged blogger eyes with broken eyeglass.
LE MONTAGNARD RUGOUX – Enormous, terrible apple pie bought at K-Mart for no less than $150 & garnished delicately with urine.
I’m hoping you somehow got your rugoux mixed up…..
We’re talking pies? I’m dusted in flour, as we speak. The Mrs. and I just made pumpkin brulee, single malt pecan pie and burnt sugar ice cream. It took us three hours and the results will be wiped out in about three minutes tomorrow. Funny how that works.
I can’t stop laughing at the concept of “enormous, terrible apple pies.”
I can’t decide if they’re just large and bad-tasting, or if the enormity and terribleness is more Biblical, like an apple pie the size of a cow that whispers horrible things that drive innocent people mad…
Scott,
You’re giving me the image of a massive Granny Smith with big ass mouth tentacles, an apple-Cthulhu as it were.
So… the news about the attacks in Mumbai is freaky. I was just in all those places a few weeks ago, with the exception of the women’s hospital. The Cafe Leopold was always packed with tense white tourists, clinging to each other for comfort. I thought that it was a little ironic that a place named after Leopold II still had such a colonial vibe.
My heart goes out to all the victims
I love Bush too. The pussy, not the President.
Trust me if you’ve never had a megamart apple pie: the piss is an enormous improvement.
Wait a minute. Have we really made it 345 comments into this discussion and no one has screamed LEGALIZE IT yet?
I mean, damn, you want to talk about conservatives fucking up freedoms…
I just read all 345 comments.
You people are insane.
I want some pie.
A fill-in-the-blanks for Herr Wahrheit:
_________ hypocrisy is worse than _________ hypocrisy because ________.
.
“You people are insane.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate it; happy Thursday to the rest of you.
Except the trolls. Y’all eat shit & die.
I’m going to bed.
Orange Tom said,
We’re talking pies? I’m dusted in flour, as we speak
You appear to have confused yourself with The Tale of Tom Kitten.
or if the enormity and terribleness is more Biblical,
I am becoming increasingly confused by this locution. I mean, when people talk about “A disaster of Biblical proportions”, do they mean that it measures 15 cm. high by 10 cm. across by 2 cm. thick, which are the proportions of the Bible that was given to me as a craptism present?* Because that doesn’t really sound all that large. Or perhaps they mean that the appropriate unit for measuring the disaster is the cubit.
*It was supposed to be a baptism present, but someone had thrown up in the font, so the vicar had to use the toilet bowl.
Pie for Ann Cuulter: Bone Meal crust, Vinegar pie with shards of broken glass.
Has to be liquified in a blender and served with a straw.
You have to remember, RobW, that this is Ann Coulter. The only way she would approve jaws being wired in position is open, since she has to swallow the mice whole to exist.
I believe you mean “The Tale of Samuel Whiskers, or, The Roly-Poly Pudding” (with Tom K as the hapless pudding-ingredient). Which I re-read recently, because I have a very clear image in my mind’s eye of Sam ‘Darth Cheney’ Whiskers and his vicious paramour Anna-Maria Dubya frantically scurrying out of town one step ahead of the rat-catcher, pushing their ill-gotten gains along in a stolen wheelbarrow. Ms. Potter’s version of that drawing is probably available online somewhere…
Behold the self-correcting Bloggosphere at work. I know of Ms Potter primarily on account of her pioneering botanical research with lichens, but I vaguely heard that she had written some books on the side.
The fact is, more terrorist attacks will occur since Americans made the wrong choice November 4th.
Way OT but it looks like the Shrieking Harpy has tightened her tinfoil hat a little too tight. Having google ad trouble = a massive conspiracy to silence her.
Happy Thanksgiving to all the Secular Marxislamofascists (with a sprinkling of a homosexual agenda) that inhabit this blog.
You mean the “I [heart] Bush” picture isn’t authentic?? That changes EVERYTHING!!!!
FYWP… http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/2008/11/sandboxed-black.html (if anyone is interested)
You mean the “I [heart] Bush” picture isn’t authentic?? That changes EVERYTHING!!!!
The kerning on the shirt suggests it was typed on an IBM Selectric that was manufactured after 1972, when the photo clearly was shot!
A big slice of absinthe-laced lemon chess pie for anyone who can explain the logic of that “last point,” which, sadly, we fear won’t really be B. Daniel Blatt’s last point.
He has determined you found that image somewhere on the internet and grabbed it for the post, thinking it was real.
I, thanks to my superior internet investigative skills, have found the perpetrator who first created the doctored image. It’s some guy named “Clif.”
Pie for J–! It didn’t occur to me that GPW thought that I would use someone else’s p-shop. That’s particularly hateful on his part because I spent more than a litle bit of time with the mesh-warp tool to get the t-shirt slogan to match the folds and wrinkles of the t-shirt. Why are conservatives so hateful and full of anger?
Happy Thanksgiving, Clif.
Pie all around!
Free eyebrow rides at my place!
She’s been “SANDBOXED”/ BLACKLISTED BY GOOGLE !!!
Pam Geller is the victim of a conspiracy.
And then when he was rejected for that job by Butterball and sent back to the barn to await his execution, he would have spent his final days before Thanksgiving, not recriminating against Butterball, but reproving himself for not being a good enough turkey to please the Butterball folks.
I dunno about the rest of all y’all, but what I was reminded of was Charley, the Tuna, and his “Chicken-of-the-Sea” death wish…
#Gary Ruppert said,
November 27, 2008 at 14:09
The fact is, more terrorist attacks will occur since Americans made the wrong choice November 4th.
Ah, THAT would explain IX/XI then?
Going with the kooky theory that Pam is right about something, it might be that one of those free-market companies that should not be constrained by anything at all is DOING WHAT IT LIKES! IT SHRUGS YOUR MILKSHAKE PAM.
The reason there will be more terrorist attacks after November 4th is because right-wingers will be committing them in order to punish America for making the ‘wrong choice’.
On a similar note, in order to punish people who don’t buy my tiger-warding stone, I’m going to send tigers after the people who don’t buy my tiger-warding stone. This will show how much my tiger-warding stone worked before.
I have a theory that when, God forbid, Barbara Bush dies that the Bin Laden tapes will *mysteriously* stop.
They didn’t ask questions like that back in 1776, no, they didn’t have time back in 1776, back in 1776, boy, they were too busy singing songs like…
Yankee Doodle came to terms
Reading Martin Buber
Stuck a Fuhrer in his cap
And called it Schicklegruber…
This will show how much my tiger-warding stone worked before.
Pfaugh, your anti-tiger-stone style kun fu is no match for my anti-giant-radioactive-monster-stone style!
Giant radioactive monsters? Been keepin’ ’em away. You may thank me now.
back in 1776, boy, they were too busy singing songs
Before, of course, the time more recently when Chester Alan Arthur climed to the top of the bookcase, thrust his defiance at the Japanese and said “Give me them, or I’m going over there!“
Well Truth, it is a common fact that most terrorists in the 21st century come from an origin of social conservatism.
So yeah, they’re probably right-wing.
stryx said,
November 27, 2008 at 9:46
I just read all 345 comments.
You people are insane.
You read 345 comments’ worth of our gibbering nonsense, and we’re insane?
LT, is it “right wingers” who are hunting down anyone with an American or British passport in Mumbai?
They’re probably anti-American jihadists of some sort (Apparently Kashmir separatists denies involvement). Nobody knows for sure, their m.o is new.
The Truth can’t pretend he’s not pleased as punch at the carnage in Mumbai (Burma). Responding to it could be one of President McCain’s first triumphs in office.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
The Truth can’t pretend he’s not pleased as punch at the carnage in Mumbai (Burma).
He really is the little thanatophile, isn’t he?
Kick ass word usage, Pere Ubu.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
What he said. Eat or be eaten, keep off the streets, eat all your vegetables, save dessert for LAST, watch out for snakes and make sure that’s a turkey you’re sticking your fork into and not an electrical outlet.(Except for you, Truth. That’s a turkey, it really is. A two-pronged turkey.)
The rest of you are just sad. Islamic terrorists are hunting anyone with an American or British passport in Mumbai, and yet you all want to pretend the “real danger” is from American right-wingers.
Thank you George W. Bush for making the world safe for Americans…
oooh, I shall be forced to don sackcloth and ashes any day now. Horrors, horrors, my hypocirsy has been made clear and I am slain alas I am slain!
I guess it’s too much to hope that the S.N! writers will take on that VDH piece on Thanksgiving Day. Still… that’s going to be sweeeeeeeet.
Hey Pere, your epidermis is showing! Hee hee hee
Waiting for things to start, I thought a (political) update of “West Side Story” (it was on tv recently) might work. But, Gary for your gang’s song, I couldn’t find words to rhyme with “you liberals” or “hipocrits”.
dammit, I was looking forward to seeing you guys leaping around the stage in leotards.
Do people often call you a creep, Truth? Maybe after hitting you with their bags and calling for the police?
Someone needs to put his money where his mouth is. My nephew is in Iraq, backing up his Republican beliefs with action. Howz about you, chickeny chick chick chicken?
Truth, you make me sad.
Did I say “American right wingers”? No. I said “right-wingers.” Which includes both the terrorists in Mumbai and the domestic terrorists next door. You’re the one making excuses. Why will you not denounce and decry the actions of right-wing terrorists the world over? Why do you support the political wing of those who are right now slaughtering innocent American and British passport-holders?
Typical conservative hypocrisy.
The fact is, all terrorists are left wing. A conservative would never use terrorism, only facts, logic and reasoned discourse. Liberals and leftists are all emotional and want to throw bombs. You own terrorism, liberals. YOU are the enemy.
My passport says nothing about Liberal or Conservative.
Ooooo, sneeeeeeaky.
Poor Truth — yet one more conservative boob who can’t stand that I’ve called him out for his hypocrisy, and so has sent his conservative hatchet man, conservative Gary Ruppert to do his conservative dirty work.
Would you please sing that, Gary? OK, once more with f.e.e.l.i.n.g!
And by conservative dirty work, I of course mean, terrorism.
A conservative would never use terrorism, only facts, logic and reasoned discourse.
You mean conservatives use their words? Doesn’t that make them Inexperienced Socialist Islamopussies, like Obama?
You discover an increased number of hate comments in your spam queue.
I left him a non-hate comment with a perfectly reasonable question (viz., how do you know religious conservatives weren’t behind any of those terrible assaults on our freedom), which to his credit he let stand, but to his discredit didn’t answer either.
Totally off topic and geeky, but $49.99! I’m tempted to get one just for the flying saucers.
Close it.
See them hovering down
Mutilate steers on the ground
Naked but free I’ll be found
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds.
The perils of technology.
Basically, yes, Truthie, it is. They are the equivalent of right-wingers in their culture.
Authoritarian religious views? Check.
Inferior status of women? Check.
Opposed to abortion, contraception and pre-marital sex? Check.
Want more religion in their government? Check.
Promote prayers in public schools? Check.
Fully in favor of the right to keep and bear arms? Check.
Critical of “decadence” and “godlessness” in their culture? Check.
Islamic terrorists are right-wingers, Truthie. Besides obvious differences in cultural expression, they are the logical, ad absurdum conclusion to an extreme right-wing political and religious agenda. We have our own “cultural Taliban”, they’re called Christian Dominionists. I’m sure you agree that they are mostly loons. But they have followers and they have political clout, if nothing more than for moving the Overton window to the right. Liberals may be saddled with Ward Churchill, but conservatives are saddled with Fred Phelps.
Thankfully they haven’t descended into suicide bombing (yet), but the abortion clinic killing sprees come pretty damn close.
Do those eyebrows qualify as fur?
Thanks, RB, for flashing me back to the spider-head from the Thing remake.
Really!
Though conservatives have that effect anyway…
Affurmative.
Truth!
Why have you not condemned and decried right-wing terrorism yet? I have a theory, but I’d like to hear your take, that the reason you continue to fail to denounce it is because you support both the means and ends of right-wing terrorism, which is foul, disgusting and inhuman.
But please, don’t speak nonsense. When conservatives harp about ‘Islamic terrorism’, they inevitably segue into whatever crazy-ass thought comes into their head at the moment, with absolutely no consistency or relationship to any other idea that enters into their head. On previous threads, conservatives have lectured me on how left wingers are traitors and supporters of terrorism while never acknowledging that liberal secular internationalism is the last thing any right-wing religious/nationalist militant group would want.
I would be happy to see both Islamic and American domestic terrorism defeated, but the number of assassination threats against our President-elect put the lie to the idea that domestic terrorism is a bogey invented by Janet Reno.
Your cowardice and above all, hypocrisy, sickens me, Truth.
Conservative hypocrisy — In a party resolute on everything staying the way it is, the only thing that changes are their goalposts.
Isn’t it just so typical of Da Troof to use a terrible tragedy and international crisis to attempt a political “nyah nyah”?
Stay classy, troll.
At least he seems to stay quiet when you throw it straight back at him.
Still waiting for you to denounce right-wing terrorism, Truth.
Liberals will all agree that the political objectives of Islamic terrorists are utterly insane. You’ll get no argument from me on that score. What we disagree about is how to deal with it. Liberals don’t see the problem as a “keep our foot on their neck” culture war. We see it as the same as fighting any other kind of organized crime. (Why we’ve never seen a RICO indictment against terrorist operations is a complete puzzle to me – maybe I just missed it.) In the 1930s we didn’t send Army troops into Chicago to quell the gang wars of organized crime, we sent police detectives, covert intel agents and crime fighting technology. We also changed the culture that gave rise to that society (making it more liberal) and the economy improved. So the gang wars ended. That’s how it’s done. That’s what works.
Liberals don’t care about the “rah-rah-rah our superior God-culture crushed you! USA! USA!” bullshit, we just want terrorists of any kind hunted down, captured, tried and convicted in public trials for their crimes. They are no different in kind than a Jeffery Dahmer or, indeed, a Timothy McVeigh. They should be treated as Dahmer and McVeigh were treated. I want Osama bin Laden and his followers dragged in chains to the Hague, and tried and convicted for crimes against humanity, for all to see. That’s how civilizations do it.
Many times I think I’m the only one bringing Teh Funny here.
Oh, you’ve got FUNNY to spare.
Too bad it’s not of the “ha-ha” variety.
You might want to look into Teh Meds for that.
If smoking bans are a liberal threat to freedom, why can’t I smoke in church? I also notice he neglects to mention book banning.
Over 400 comments. I’d be thankful for a new post, and an internet connection that wasn’t crap.
I used to live a few miles from where Pretty Boy grew up and where many of his kin still live. He was still a big folk hero in the Oklahoma hill country even into the 70s.
Dr. Dick, I’ve got the Larry McMurtry novel about PBF. Although I generally love McMurtry, I only read the first page or so and it didn’t really grab me. Have you read it, and if so, do you recommend it?
A Happy Day to all, tofurkey, turkey, or whatever you’re indulging in.
Oh noes! Fred Phelps is (or was) registered as a DEMOCRAT! Clearly this means… um… what exactly does it mean? As far as I can tell, there are no particular ideological requirements to registering. You don’t even have to agree with a party’s platform to register — how many people did Rush Limbaugh encourage to go out and register Democrat so they could vote for Hillary Clinton in the primaries? One thing is certain: Fred Phelps’s agenda has not influenced the Democratic Party’s platform.
And note that Joe Max didn’t say “Democrats may be saddled with Ward Churchill, but Republicans are saddled with Fred Phelps”; he said “Liberals may be saddled with Ward Churchill, but conservatives are saddled with Fred Phelps.” Party affiliation — sincere or otherwise — is not the issue.
Now, how about that denunciation of right-wing terrorism…?
Hmm… my italics migrated there. I blame sunspots.
That’s OK, cursed WP ate a /blockquote of mine.
Italicans are untrustworthy.
Candy,
I went through a pretty heavy McMurtry phase in junior high after reading Lonesome Dove, which is still one of my favorite books. Plus, the movie’s awesome. Anyhow, I read the PBF book and it’s not as bad as some of McMurtry’s later stuff like Lonesome Dove prequals or that horrible Billy the Kid novel, but, well, it’s no Lonesome Dove. Man, it must suck to write something so awesome everything else you’ve ever done looks like hackery in comparison.
And consider: Fred Phelps, apparently a registered Democrat at one time, is a loud, obnoxious asshole who treats his family like dirt and expresses his hatred by being a loud, obnoxious asshole at other families in times of stress. George W. Bush is an obnoxious asshole and soon-to-be-former President of the U.S.A. is, presumably, a registered Republican and backed a move to actually alter the Constitution so that it would deny rights to a specific group of Americans, and probably the only reason Bush did this was because the spineless hole was told to so’s to get votes from the fearful and ignorant. Fred Phelps is just a dickbag; George W. Bush actually tried to hurt people for politcal gain.
Boy, Thanksgiving must be a pleasant holiday around Da Troofy’s house.
Just imagine it.
Time for an image of a dim-witted badger.
The fact is, your arguments about Dems being superior to Repubs just melted like butter. McVeigh was a Democrat. You’ve been schooled by The Truth and by reality itself.
Except none of us made that argument.
And where’s my denunciation, Truth? Quit sending Ruppert to do your dirty work, start condemning right-wing terrorists or accept full blame for the events in Mumbai.
I turn the claws of my white-hot firehose of condemnation on Smut Clyde for stealing Project Gutenberg bandwidth. Also because I could not see the pic.
Thread still needs more badgers.
Of course, I believe it’s a liberal precept that blowing stuff up and hurting people is just plain wrong, unless it’s in an action movie and no one gets hurt, in which case… WOLVERINES!!!!!
We don’t gotta show you no stinkin’ badgers!
(I’m sure nobody has ever made that joke before.)
In fairness, Matt T., GWB did more than try to hurt people for political gain. He succeeded. In hurting people, that is. Lots of them.
But he’s slithering out the door now, for which I, like Rachel Maddow, am thankful on this day.
LT, is it “right wingers” who are hunting down anyone with an American or British passport in Mumbai?
The Jewz are behind it all, plus the Illuminati chem-trailed the whole scene with fluoride just before the attacks to make it seem as though the Masons were responsible. It’s real complicated.
That’s just what the mind-controlling space mummies of Planet Zeptar want you to believe.
I understand the “mushroom” part of the Badger Song.
hah. busted for hotlinking.
fucking pelicans
I believe mister gutenberg has spoken:
NO INLINE SMUT!!
Umm, or maybe I just forgot the comma….
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
mikey
Dear Troofie,
YHBT. YHL. HAND.
Well, it looks like my timing is impeccable. At least my TG won’t have a bitter, greasy, Toofy aftertaste.
Looks like Macy’s rickrolled the entire country who was watching the parade.
Cool.
Candy –
I have never read a McMurtry novel (though I really like his son’s music), so I cannot speak tho the one in question. They really are not my cup of tea.
I am thankful to have a job I love, friends and family I care about, and the option of ignoring Troofie anytime I want.
Now back to tandoori turkey legs, braised red chard with pumpkin and mushrooms, and baked white sweet potato topped with butter and a mixture of paprika, cayenne, and garam masala.
Off to have a very pleasant thanksgiving.
Undoubtedly off to find some Native Americans to distribute smallpox-laden blankets to, then off to chortle over the news from India and how bad it makes liberals look.
Thanks, Matt T. Yeah, McMurtry’s early stuff was much better. The Terms of Endearment sequel was good, and Streets of Laredo wasn’t bad, although so fucking bleak and depressing that it bothered me for weeks. I’m not a big fan of westerns generally, Dr. Dick, but Lonesome Dove is, as Matt T. said, a truly wonderful novel. (I do love E. Annie Proulx, just read her excellent western short stories collection. I’m reading Cormac McCarthy’s All The Pretty Horses right now.)
I’ve never read or seen The Last Picture Show.
I have a confession to make. My thanksgiving comestibles so far have consisted of cheetos, quik trip coffee, sara lee pecan pie, and shortly I will drink some PBR beer. I’m havin’ me a wingnut Thanksgiving. Actually, I’m making my big dinner this weekend. The pbr is due to poverty, and the cheetos to teenage son. The frozen pecan pie is just cause I like it, although the pecans were kinda bitter. Wheeeeeeeee!
My thanksgiving comestibles so far have consisted of cheetos, quik trip coffee, sara lee pecan pie, and shortly I will drink some PBR beer. I’m havin’ me a wingnut Thanksgiving
My, that’s quite festive! The Rugged household is enjoying my special holiday spiced roadkill jerky, roasted wild garlic spread on Civil Defense Saltines, briar salad and wild bush fruits. Dessert will consist of special woodland mushrooms dipped in wildflower honey and an oak leaf wine I made for the occasion. May whatever g*ds you DEMONcraps worship watch over you on this holiest of American-only holidays.
Twoofie:
Zell Miller is a Democrat too, and he worked at cross purposes with the party every chance he could get. Even in Massachusetts, we’ve got an assload of DINOs who are essentially only Democrats because the MA GOP has been circling the drain for years — they’re little more than northern Dixiecrats, some of them.
Party affiliation don’t mean shit. Phelps may still be a registered Democrat for all we know, but that doesn’t make him any less of a hate-mongering, abusive, attention-whoring, closet case asshole.
Dessert will consist of special woodland mushrooms dipped in wildflower honey and an oak leaf wine I made for the occasion.
RUGGED, I wish I had some of them thar special spatial mushrooms. (They actually do sound kind of good.)
You have a wunnerful dinner, and steer clear of the critters you fear!
Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade just rick rolled me?
Rugged –
No roasted Pelican? I hear it is quite tasty and nutritious in a fishy, gamy sort of way.
Another thing, toof: leaving aside the difference between Democrat vs. Republican and liberal vs. conservative (since you clearly don’t know, or refuse to acknowlege, the difference) note this difference:
Ward Churchill is a liberal: he is an scholar, a historian who writes books and papers about the history of genocide, suppression of radicals, and native Americans. He wrote an essay expressing an unpopular opinion and conservative, ever-staunch defenders of free speech and academic freedom, hounded him out of a job and incidentally propelled him from obscurity to infamy. Few other liberals defended him.
Fred Phelps is a conservative who leads picket marches at military funerals on the grounds that America is a faggot-country and the soldiers died for fags. Few conservatives have condemned him.
Simple question: do you approve or condemn the Rev. Fred Phelps and his protests of soldiers’ funerals?
Of course, the reason Twoofy is using Fred Phelps as a political football is not that he’s politically inxpedient or even that he’s harassing the families of dead soldiers (once Teh Troops take all the support we gave ’em and squander it with defeatism, they become despicable hippies and he’ll be first in line to spit on them). The reason Twoofy is using Fred Phelps as a political football is that his early career involved fighting for equal rights and against racial discrimination in Kansas – and that to this day he continues to regard racism as tantamount to tolerating queers in terms of what damns a society.
It all eventually boils down to coloreds with Pravda.
And I do like that he’s continuing to use Mumbai as a political football in spite of it having been shown quite clearly that it’s an intra-right-wing political squabble (extremist Islamists capturing the Muslim community owing to the weakness of the National Congress locally and attacking the perceived sponsors of hardline reactionary Shiv Sena). It’s theocrats versus fascists, Huckaboosters killing the Tancredulous.
Oh yeah, and the Obama Administration began early – that way ‘no Americans have been killed by terrorists under Bush’s watch’ is still true.
Liberals will all agree that the political objectives of Islamic terrorists are utterly insane
That’s true. Hmmm, wonder if everyone can say the same? Here’s a fun game for The Truth:
“Hi, I’m The Truth. My views on ___________ are substantially different to those of the extreme right-wing Islamists I profess to hate so much because ____________.”
Your options for the first blank:
abortion; separation of church and state; homosexuality; crime and punishment; the role of women and children; war and the ‘Clash of Civilizations’; atheism; liberals
Your options for the second blank:
erm…; hey, look over there!; shut up, that’s why; ????????????; profit!; Bill Ayers; Jena 6 Jena 6 Jena 6 Jena 6 Jena 6 Jena 6; hey, where’s DrDick?; oh yeah, they are pretty much the same – I’m off to sign up for the Jihad!
Remember, by your own rules, you MUST complete this using the options provided before you are ever allowed to say anything on the internet ever again.
Have fun! Try it and you’ll be surprised! I’ll let you know the right answers! etc
Where’s the fun in that? Then we wouldn’t get to watch cool footage on CNN of M1 tanks racing across the desert or F-16s bombing the crap out of Fallujah.
People like The Truth would have to go back to getting their wanking material from Tom Clancy novels.
No roasted Pelican? I hear it is quite tasty and nutritious in a fishy, gamy sort of way.
Nah, they’re all rabid, so if you eat em, you end up a zombie. Happened to a friend of mine.
He’s a loyal wingnut, after all.
The Truth continues to pretend he hasn’t not condemned the right-wing terroristic impulses that are on sickening display in Mumbai (Byzantium).
He seems to think this is one of his Rotary Club meetings, where he can swagger around the country-club banquet hall all right-wingedly in his Haggars and Florsheims and intimidate the junior salesmen with threats of pulling the Cohaagen Account. Except we’re not going anywhere.
I hope he enjoys his turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, and hypocrisy. I wonder if he eats the hypocrisy together with the turkey, with just a leeeetle gravy on each perfect bite, or as a separate side item.
McVeigh!
On this most American of holidays, some of us will eat turkey; others will eat tofurkey; but only teh Troof will eat a large, turkey-shaped bag of dicks.
That rant about Clancy is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Mainly because I know if I had a few hundred million dollars, I know I’d become a brutal warlord.
On this most American of holidays, some of us will eat turkey; others will eat tofurkey; but only teh Troof will eat a large, turkey-shaped bag of dicks.
Complete with dingleberry sauce, shit gravy, and half-baked dreams of glory.
On this most American of holidays, some of us will eat turkey; others will eat tofurkey; but only teh Troof will eat a large, turkey-shaped bag of dicks.
And he’s going to be doing it alone, too. But he’ll come back to Liberal blogs all evening anyway because we get under his skin. So very, very under his skin… Poor, poor The Truth. Spending his Thanksgiving turning to the only people who can’t actually remove them from his life, we people here at Sadly, No.
Also, regarding Fred Phelps and his voting record, it’s amusing that The Truth continues to illustrate his complete alienation from those with a true mind (rather than a constantly broken and re-cobbled together simulation of a mind) by not understanding that most people on this blog not only inherently know that people often vote for all kinds of mixed motivations, but that the extreme right often cast spite votes even for Democrats…
Such as, for instance, during Operation Chaos:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rush_Limbaugh_Show#Operation_Chaos
Which The Truth no doubt has completely rationalized in his broken double-think mind as now no longer being relevant, and thus we on the hate filled Right have never been fighting alongside Clintasia, against Obamasia…
Shorter GayPatheticWank: Hey! Look at me! Nyah, nyah, I hate liberuls because they make me sort my recyclables! Aren’t I shocking? Hey! Look at me damn it!
Yawn.
I detest the American south (and I don’t even live in America). But credit where due: the pecan pie is wonderful.
And I give the south credit for one more thing: teaching me to pronounce the name of the nut correctly. As a child I once found myself in a restaurant near Savannah, Georgia. For dessert I ordered PEE-can pie. The waitress (from central casting) corrected me: “pee-CAN, honey; a PEE-can goes under your bed in the winter.”
Mind you I’m sure she was lying. Lacking indoor plumbing as they do, southerners would need PEE-cans all year round.
But back to the pie. (Mmmm… pie…) Somebody upthread said it’s just pecans in Karo syrup. Well, yes; much as 15 year old Springbank is just a bunch of barley left to rot. And it’s not just Karo syrup and pecans; a decent pie will be chock full of white and brown sugar as well! Not to mention vanilla and a good jolt of whiskey (I imagine bourbon would be authentic, but I use Bushmills malt). I top mine with whole pecans in a caramelised mixture of butter, brown sugar and honey. For the crust, butter and lard in equal measures, and lots of both.
Topping is superfluous, really, but if you need one, a good vanilla ice cream is your only man. You’ll still want to lay in a good supply of whipped-cream-in-a-can, though. It’s absolute shite, of course, unfit for human consumption. But when you go into the kitchen after dinner to get the pie, you can quickly huff the nitrous oxide for a crappy 20-second bullshit high, and when you come back out your mother in law will be none the wiser.
Pecan pie afficionados might like to try the same recipe made with hickory nuts — divine. Also, a splat of praline liqueur (a New Orleans specialty, but can be found with some difficulty throughout the South — as for anywhere else, good luck) in the ice cream is also quite nice.
Talk shit about the South all you like, but the food is excellent. It’s also the same no matter what color people are having it — black and white all eat the same way here, which is to say we eat well.
And I give the south credit for one more thing: teaching me to pronounce the name of the nut correctly. As a child I once found myself in a restaurant near Savannah, Georgia. For dessert I ordered PEE-can pie. The waitress (from central casting) corrected me: “pee-CAN, honey; a PEE-can goes under your bed in the winter.”
We highlanders do it somewhat differently: puh’ cahwn’ with almost but not quite a stop between syllables. Pronouncing it any other way is, of course, fascist.
you can quickly huff the nitrous oxide for a crappy 20-second bullshit high, and when you come back out your mother in law will be none the wiser.
Oh that’s an awesome cheap high but the lingering affect on one’s voice must be taken into account. Plan on sounding demonic for a couple of minutes after.
Liberals will all agree that the political objectives of Islamic terrorists are utterly insane
When someone begins a statement with the words “Liberals will all agree”, at least you know that credibility is not high on the agenda.
I finally have room for pumpkin pie now.
🙂
Let’s check in with THE TRUTH FAIL-O-METER!
Well done, The Truth! You actually didn’t even need to post your crap at all! I already did it for you!
Additionally, Happy Thanksgiving, you insufferable prick. I’m sure your relatives hate you.
lol stupid fucker said obama was a radical, and he’s not, so stupid fucker claims victory. what a stupid fucker
You may have heard of this tube-based contraption called the Internet. With it, you can order all manner of legal, semi-legal, and not-so-legal things to be delivered to your front door. Froogle turns up a number of sites selling a 750ml bottle (jin-you-wine New Orleans style) for $15-20. Just sayin’.
Oh, and one last point, anyone who would use a doctored photo and put it forward as authentic is someone obviously someone [sic] who is easily duped.
I knew that hair had to be shopped.
What?
Talk shit about the South all you like, but the
food is excellent.the jazz, blues, soul, bluegrass, country & rockabilly is music for the ages.Altered, not fized.
With it, you can order all manner of legal, semi-legal, and not-so-legal things to be delivered to your front door.
Sadly, you can’t get liquor delivered some places, e.g. where I live. Frowny.
The fact is, liberals hate thanksgiving because it is a holiday to celebrate family, USA, greatness, freedom, sacrafice and they hate all these things. You want to make us all Muslims.
A thought occurs to me. If the extinguished Mr. Blat is Gay Patriot West, does that mean that there is also a Gay Patriot East? If so is he just as big an idiot tool?
Gary –
No. No. No. We want to turn you and Troofie like totally gay so you can celebrate with B. Daniel Blatt in totally patriotic all American corn holing.
The fact is, being a liberal is like being Hitler.
Okay, you made me go there.
does that mean that there is also a Gay Patriot East?
The Gay Patriot of the East was squashed when Dorothy’s cottage landed on him.
henry lewis –
Nah. The troll only wins if he drives everyone else out.
henry lewis –
Nah. Trolls only win if they can chase everybody else out of the thread. Almost more fun beating up on rightards in person than vicariously.
Gavin and the others won’t give us another thread until we show that we can look after the one we already have.
…I thought it was your turn to feed the troll.
Feeding is not the issue. It is who has to clean out its cage – you know how bad troll poop stinks.
…well, at least they’re too lethargic to need walking.
For those of you emerging from a tryptophan-induced stupor, this Victor Davis Hanson column (click the homepage) is probably not something you want to read, because the level of stupid there might short-circuit whatever functioning synapses you still have. A sample:
Much of our current panic is psychological, and hyped by instantaneous electronic communications and second-by-second 24-hour news blasts. There has not been a nationwide plague that felled our workers. No earthquake has destroyed American infrastructure. The material United States before the September 2008 financial panic is largely the same as the one after. Once we tighten our belts and pay off the debts run up by Wall Street speculators and millions of borrowers who walked away from what they owed others — and we can do this in a $13 trillion annual economy — sanity will return.
Wow! So all these economists and financial wizards who are predicting a major recession and unemployment of 10% or more are wrong? Why yes, says VDH, they’re all just selfish, whining Yuppies:
We are witnessing a new hysterical style, in which the Baby Boomer “me generation” that now runs America jettisons knowledge of the past and daily proclaims that each new development requires both a radical solution and another bogeyman to blame for being mean or unfair to them.
Things are really not that bad, honest! Especially compared to other recent times of crisis. After all, we were in a recession when Clinton left office, and besides this financial crisis reminds him of Y2K when everybody thought the world was going to come to an end but it totally didn’t, so there. I swear, that’s actually pretty much verbatim.
I think we’re getting pretty close to Peak Wingnut. I don’t see how much more stupid they can squeeze out of the ground.
There is no Peak Wingnut – they represent and infinitely renewable source of outrage.
…there is, however, a Mount Wingnut
I ain’t mounting no wingnut and I don’t care what you offer me to do it.
Are you boys picking on Troof again? Didn’t your mother tell you it’s not nice to make fun of the kids on the short bus?
<Are you boys picking on Troof again? Didn’t your mother tell you it’s not nice to make fun of the kids on the short bus
Yeah, but he always come around wearing that “Kick Me” sign. What are we supposed to do?
…and promising to “bring hte funny” – nothing but disappointment, time after time.
Still no denunciation of right-wing terrorism.
Typical conservative hypocrisy, unwilling to condemn the actions of their fellow travelers.
The henry lewis who posted at 6:04 (dusseldorf time) wasn’t the henry lewis who made the ‘shitter’ comment in an earlier thread.
Having said that, I am pleased and grateful for the chance to refer to my pseudonym in the third person and will thus be sleeping contentedly tonight.
I think we’re getting pretty close to Peak Wingnut.
Has S,N! made contingency plans. Have they located alternate sources of stupid?
Surely a wit like our truthful friend could bring that subtle and biting humor to bear in a denunciation of right-wing terrorism. It would be the ____________ [zenith/nadir] of mirth-inducing repartee.
Has S,N! made contingency plans. Have they located alternate sources of stupid?
See mine at 7:21. They are an endlessly renewable resource. As long as mommas keep droppin’ they youngins on they heads and sucking down a quart of whiskey and a case of Coors every weekend during their pregnancies, we will always have wingnuts.
I know everyone has already said this, but I have to say it myself or risk spontaneous combustion.
First, you can’t light up in a restaurant because your smoke imposes on other people’s personal space. It gets in their eyes, hair, nose, clothes, food and lungs. Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose starts, dummy.
Second, you really can throw your recyclables in the trash (too bad the fascist liberals won’t let you throw them out your car window!). You don’t have to recycle if you don’t want to. Don’t, then. And, also you can eat all the transfats you want to. You can roll a cigarette of transfat, thalidomide, Red Dye No. 2 and e-coli and smoke it on your roof. You just can’t sell it to my kid.
Third, the “freedoms” that these people are crying about are losing are behaviors that have to do directly with quality of life on this planet for everyone (Holy hell, this gay man is complaining about hate crime laws?) — just, you know, keep this place clean, all right? And don’t invade other people’s private space with your neurotic issues. That’s it. These fascist laws are all about making sure that your fist doesn’t connect with anyone’s nose (since people seem unable to determine where their entitlement ends and someone else’s starts).
But, he’s totally OK with losing the kinds of freedoms that directly effect his private and other’s private decisions? It doesn’t effect anyone if a gay couple gets married, but if effects everyone when a mentally unstable person buys a gun.
I swear. WordPress ate that coathanger thing.
WordPress has been outstandingly sucky all night.
Having said that, I am pleased and grateful for the chance to refer to my pseudonym in the third person and will thus be sleeping contentedly tonight.
I am Spartacus!
Can we just stick to the relevant facts here, please.
1. Bush’s 2008 Thanksgiving proclamation approvingly quotes George Washington’s 1789 Thanksgiving speech/proclamation.
Bush: “We recognize that all of these blessings, and life itself, come not from the hand of man but from Almighty God.”
Washington: “It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor.”
2. Fine. Give him credit for reading Washington. Then note that every other winger has run Washington’s 1789 speech or mentioned it.
See, for example, “it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God” in Google News.
3. Did the wingers all predict that Obama was going to give a Thanksgiving speech. Did you expect him to give a Thanksgiving speech? Do wingers follow Bush closely enough to read/watch Bush’s speech and then look up Washington’s speech? Nah. They copied it from CNS news, and passed it around. The only people mentioning Washington’s 1789 speech are Bush, fake news sources, winger bloggers, and more winger bloggers.
4. Can’t remember four.
It is truly difficult in a thread this long to have one clear winner, but I gotta say…
508 comments…wtf!?
People lonely on T-day? Be-jeebuz!
Okay, color me an alarmist and a warmonger but;
http://www.eschatonblog.com/2008_11_23_archive.html#525347697743808488
I do believe that Thers just re-militarized the youtube Rhineland. Seriously, yo. That’s some fucked up shit.
I do believe that Thers just re-militarized the youtube Rhineland. Seriously, yo. That’s some fucked up shit.
No. That Devo video transcends and negates all youtube wars with its sublime awesomeness.
Hmmm… a weapon so terrible and devastating that it actually succeeds in stopping wars form starting? Fascinating proposal. I must contemplate this in my study made entirely out of chocolate and neko waffers…
They make wafers out of Japanese cats?
I’d go back and make sure General Sherman not only burned Atlanta to the ground, but plowed up the whole Confederacy and sowed plutonium on it.
Tehanu, I”m sure all the black Georgians/Carolinians/Virginians would be oh-so-greatful for your brilliant humanitarianism. Why don’t you ask a few of them how good of an idea they think it is?
You sound just like the rabidly-eliminationist Freepers who claim they’d be doing the moderate/gay/female Iranians a favor by nuking them. (Or the Chinese, or the Algerians, or the fill-in-enemy-of-the-week here.) Clearly “reality-based” is not something that is *entirely* partisan, no more than the whole anti-genocide/war-for-profit thing, these days.
Leftovers!
The fact is, liberals have nothing to do with reality. They hate it. They hate that reality proves them wrong over and over, and still they put idiots like Obama into office, which will destroy our economy AND invite terror attacks just like Clinton did.
So most of country (Obama was made president by a healthy majority) in office) has a liberal bias, Gary?
Maybe you could send Tom Brokaw an internet, I don’t think he got the message.
I do believe that Thers just re-militarized the youtube Rhineland. Seriously, yo. That’s some fucked up shit.
Um, no.
I see someone is denying the Truth (the real Truth, not the troll) about De-Evolution!
Interesting background on the song and its development: http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=722
Now, every man, woman, and mutant on the planet can be told the truth!
There’s a new thread kids. And Truth, why don’t you leave your little basement in rural Illinois and go outside and get some exercise, mkay? All those slurpees are taking their toll on you.
Still waiting for Joe Max to process the fact that Fred Phelps is actually – gulp – a Democrat.
And – gulp – a Christian conservative who’s called for the death of an entire class of Americans.
Which makes YOU, Troofie, a terrorist!
Call DHS! Quick!
The fact is, liberals hate thanksgiving because it is a holiday to celebrate family, USA, greatness, freedom, sacrafice and they hate all these things. You want to make us all Muslims.
No, just you, Gare.
Actor212 is a nasty creep and is really revealing his character here.
What? All I meant was that you could speak some Truth to them, and perhaps they’d listen, Troofie?
I would never threaten you or anyone else with bodily harm or death.
In fact, butter doesn’t melt in MY mouth.
Son, you’re very paranoid, but I guess being a hatemonger will do that to you. Always looking over your shoulder, wondering if that guy in the fedora and rain coat is just chilly or is out to get you on orders from someone you’ve pissed off.
Not me. Of course. I would never have any way of knowing where you are from.
Of course not. I don’t have access to the Carnivore database, no sirreee!
As a fellow ‘homo-queer’, I would sometimes pop ’round to the Gay Patriot! site to see if, true to form, Monsieur Blatt would disagree with any gains made by the gay rights movement (and of course, the converse); he never failed to disappoint. I remember reading, on the Wonkette site, where a commenter was extolling the virtues of such “right-to-lefters” as Arianna Huffington and David Brock but was still skeptical of people like Andrew Sullivan, saying, “you know, since he enthusiastically sucked Bush’s cock ’til it went limp.” Someone needs to remind Blatt that no matter how expert or devoted his fellatio skills, Bush ain’t ever gettin’ it back up again.
Oh…and Truth? Though you obviously derive much pleasure and satisfaction railing against your imaginary intertubes enemies, your energies would probably be much better spent engaging in your usual pastime of jacking off to Allied photos of of detainees at Dachau and Buchenwald.
“Zimbabwe” is a lot more fun to say than “Rhodesia”.
And yet I can still get Bombay Gin and a Rhodesian Ridgeback.
…there is, however, a Mount Wingnut
Trucknutz!
OK, actor212, prove it. If you know who I am, post something non-revealing, like my initials or my first name.
Why, Troofie! I just got finished saying that I don’t have access to that kind of information!
My goodness, boy, I know you’re a product of the Reagan Education department, but you do know the difference between yes and no, do you not?
I would never EVER claim that I can find you in a heartbeat using the NSA database and even if I did have access to it, which I’m not saying I do, even if, you know, I might, I would never ever threaten anyone with my knowledge!
That would make me a Republican!
But since you asked, your initials are somewhere in here:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Have a nice day, sport!
You know, just because I have some clearances that you don’t have….that doesn’t mean I would ever post anything…
Poor Troofie…is that your idea of a win?
ROFL!
I own you.
Don’t look behind you! Someone might be watching… 😉
Heh.
3ib0wq http://www.f8dpybvfNnMed027gchhA94jc.net