We could give every man, woman and child on earth a Dom Perignon enema with that much money. Then we could roll cigars out of $1000 bills and light them with bundles of burning hundreds. National healthcare? Rebuilding public education from the ground up? Massive infrastructure? You can stick them all up your ass, America. The banks really need this.

Would a government employee perform the enema for me, or would I have to do it at home?

Would a government employee perform the enema for me, or would I have to do it at home?

It would have to be a government employee, since we can’t risk someone actually enjoying it.

Ah, you’re all, like, seriously chuffed & shit – but the NEW billions pouring into Citibank may buy as much as two or three whole days of ersatz uplift in the numbers coming from Wall Street’s ticker-tape Eight-Ball … so it’s, like, totally worthwhile, dude.

Here is the option-menu of available benefits this Doughgasm will accrue to ordinary Americans:

a) jack-shit
b) bugger-all
c) doodley-squat
d) nil

Choose carefully, Americans!

Oh hai! It’s a transfer of wealth from the government, who magically came up with the money, to the bankers, who magically *lost* an identical amount after eight years of Bush!

Quelle coincidence!

It would be wrong for the government to intervene to give people jobs and health care, because it would cost a lot of money and be socialist and it would not be efficient like giving $7-8 trillion dollars to the ultra-ultra-rich for them to pee on our heads with.

You know, I remember my grandmother telling me stories about the Great Depression (this being the Greater Depression, of course). She hated Roosevelt, and always talked about how the made the government give people “jobs” which were basically, according to her, digging holes one day and filling them up the next. Right now, that doesn’t sound so bad. My grandparents were always employed, so the GD didn’t affect them much — actually, it was kind of a positive thing for them, because with the deflation they were able to buy all of this ridiculous Louis XIV furniture which is still sitting in my aunt’s house.

The thing is, it doesn’t seem to me that the huge pouring of money into the economy was earmarked for the banks back then. The money went toward employment — towards getting people off their asses, getting them busy, and working, doing SOMETHING! It doesn’t seem like there is even any interest in doing that this time. Now it’s just Save the Banks, Save the Automakers, Save the… Retailers & Credit Issuers?? These organizations are not on America’s side — at least, not when it counts. It’s all good as long as they get something out of it. Can you imagine what $7T would do for people, as opposed to corporations? Jesus — who’s priorities are screwed up here.

Yes, I know — preaching to the choir. It just had to be said.

Anybody got a match?

No fucking surprise at all. Anyone who didn’t think the bush administration would do everything it possibly could to fuck the next administration hasn’t been paying attention to the last eight years.

And you know what, what are we doing about it? Where is the reaction? Wall Street rapes every US taxpayer for trillions and what’s going on?

Not a fucking thing.

Sheep to slaughter baby.

Socialest Security is a fraud!! Put your retirement money in the stock market!!

The Dow Jones Industrial Average through Friday is down 38 percent since the beginning of the year and 43 percent from its peak on Oct. 9, 2007. The S&P 500 fell 45 percent from the beginning of the year through Friday and 49 percent from its peak on Oct. 9, 2007. The Nikkei 225 Index has fallen 46 percent from the beginning of the year through Friday and 57 percent from its most recent peak of 18,261.98 on July 9, 2007. Goldman Sachs Group Inc. is down 78 percent, to $53.31, on Friday from its peak of $247.92 on Oct. 31, 2007, and 75 percent this year.

.

Preview-less blockquoting from Gav’s bloomberg link.

Lessee…

US annual GDP is 13.8T, so 7.4T is about 54 percent of the total value of all goods and services produced in the US over the period of a year.

Looks like ol’ W has finally found his legacy, by crackee!

He gets to leave office, unimpeached and unindicted, after having pulled off the biggest heist in the history of Mankind!

Hey, people (you too, Daddy): Suck.On.That!! (Opal, you little bitch… where’s mah waitress?!)

actually, it was kind of a positive thing for them, because with the deflation they were able to buy all of this ridiculous Louis XIV furniture which is still sitting in my aunt’s

It’s a great thing, knowing you can annoy family for generations to come.

The Dow Industrial average is basically down to a level that is 1/2 way between it’s high, and what it was in 1982. Think about that for a second, then imagine if your Social Security bucks were “invested” in that.

I’m not anti-stock market, it used to make me a pretty good living as an at home trader, but I learned enough to pull everything out of the market in 2000 and put it elsewhere; nothing since that point has made me want to go back. Though a point may be coming in 2009 or 2010 when it really will be worth it, in a generational sort of way. Unfortunately capitalism runs on speculation; see “Wealth and Democracy” by Kevin Phillips for a deeper exposition.

A truly humane government would shield it’s citizens from this crap a la the western European social safety net model. That’s what can happen when you don’t let sociopathic free market ideologs run your national policy. However, thanks to this financial crisis, we have a really good chance of getting there now, and I am more hopeful than I’ve been in years. We’ve also got a good chance of pushing teetering Detroit into reviving the EV-1 since we’ve got them by the balls right now. Please see Who Killed the Electric Car for further info, and tell me why they were getting 100 miles per charge in the mid-1990’s, and Chevy is hoping it’s savior the Volt is maybe going to get 60 miles. In a few years. Honest, we mean it this time.

The thing is, we were all forced to compete directly with hedge funds by being given 401k’s we had to manage ourselves; it is quite the un-level playing field but the GOP-leaning rubes bought it as an example of the great powers given to them to wield in a Galt-like manner for their imminent rise to the upper, upper class. Funny how it hasn’t worked out that way, and not at all funny that everyone not in possession of 7 figure financial services advice just took it in the ass for the sake of tying too many to an ideological purity position. The good thing is this should kill the privatize Social Security idea for a generation. A small gift, I know.

Sorry that my post is not at all funny.

How it is that all of a sudden, in the last few months of a notoriously corrupt and unaccountable administration, we somehow need to just hand over half a year’s GDP to Bog knows who, and for exactly what we are not told. With the enema-nuggets doling it out playing the ever familiar tune of “Fuck You Congress, I Ain’t Telling You Shit” which has been at the top of the charts for eight fucking years, so one might think that even the most tone deaf of them might recognize the song, and yet, AND FUCKING YET, the only apparent outrage at being sequentially ass-raped with a phone-pole two generations back and four forward so we look like some sort of taxpayer-kebob seems to be coming from the craziest of the glibertarians?

What? The? Fuck?

Does anybody actually even think that throwing trillions of dollars into a bottomless speculation pit of bizarre and newly-minted-just-so-as-to-be-unintelligible-and-unregulatable instruments will actually fix what is wrong with the economy? If so, who the fuck are these people, and why have they been given forks?

Christ on a popsicle stick, am I the only one who seems to remember getting pissed when they had the cojones to steal eight billion out of the Iraq rebuilding funds? Eight billion? Meh. Chump-change, motherfuckers. Chump. Change.

If there has ever been a torches and pitchforks moment in this country, this really ought to be it.

meh,

so one might think

The key question is: Stocks and rotten fruit? Pichforks and torches? Tar and fealthers? Or something else? We’ll start the bidding at prison terms and loss of assets…

Just line up for the $24,000 each for every man, woman, and child this is equal to. Oh sorry, you don’t get to actually keep it; you don’t even get to see it (except as a large chunk of your future tax burden of course).

“We Eated It”

AND IT WERE GOOD!!!!

So…is this what an IMF bailout feels like?

So…is this what an IMF bailout feels like?

Not entirely dissimilar, I’m sure. It has been the dearest wish of the far right to turn this country into a feudalistic third-world nation. They are getting far too close for comfort.

if you believe that obama is a micracle worker, i think you are not very smart.

obama is tiger woods 2.0

he is a marketing phenomenon

you have been duped

Rick, my man!

How is Obama like Tiger Woods? One’s an athelete, and one is a politician. Both are very successful, of course, but hmm, let’s see… Oh! I get it now! They’re both black! How clever, and not in the slightest bit bigoted, of you to notice that similarity.