Shorter shorter Perfesser:

“Oh, militarism! Is there anything you can’t do?”

The man-bot actually cites Liberal Fascism in the second paragraph.

Fastest FAIL in the west!

It looks like tovarisch Butt-Plug will need to be ‘dealt’ with, comrades…

I think I can pinpoint the precise moment of epic fail for the Ole Perfesser—

as documented in Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism

Clearly the American people need to be taught a lesson for having chosen to abandon the success they achieved under Bush Jr. conservatism, and, yes, if they praised him as Ronald Reagan II when he had 90% approval ratings, then, yes, he is every bit the conservative that they are.

He cites Liberal Fascism as an authoritative resource. bgh ybh

Sorry, head hit the keyboard there.

Oh yeah, and FDR made the Depression worse, we’re winning in Iraq, blah de blah. Geez, wingnuts have been boring lately. Still, credit for opening with one claim (war makes government bigger), offering evidence, then diving deep into his own ass to produce a contradictory claim (no, bad economies make government bigger) with no proof or even refutations of his own evidence. Classic.

I love the way that the wingnuts think that nobody mentioned the fact that government power expanded during and as a result of U.S. participation in WW1.

It’s almost cute how they think that things which have been entirely accepted as obvious for generations now, nearly a century in fact, are in fact completely undiscovered and waiting for specialists in ass-thinking like Goldberg to stumble upon and over and then back again on top of and then off the table and down the stairs and then out the front door and across the grass and into the big oak tree on the front lawn before falling in the wedding ceremony cake.

God, what a set of fucktits is Reynolds.

Most Presidents and other nation’s rulers go to war to alleviate an economic catastrophe. THAT, by definition, is Big Government, because look what happens in war.

Take WWII, for example: citizens sacrificed FOR THE WAR EFFORT, a totalitarian economy was derived that benefitted the nation a little at the expense of millions of deaths here and abroad.

Indeed, it wasn’t until after the war, and the economy was shaped up again, that truly Big Government came home…in the form of the GI Bill and the national highway program of Eisenhower and the education spending to bring our kids up to par with Europeans and to make them competitive in the mid-20th Century economy!

What a doucehnozzle!

By the way, let’s revisit an earlier post from this very site in which I pointed out that the causes of the ‘Roosevelt Recession’ were clearly known in 1938 and 1939, and not at all waiting undiscovered for right wing dumb-asses to undiscover today:

The 1937 recession was largely due to a failure to spend enough, as many of Roosevelt’s own advisers pointed out at the time — given the new Social Security tax. But then, Roosevelt was only a President, not a king, so there were political realities to be dealt with.

Economist & Roosevelt adviser Lauch Currie:

From “Secretary of Economics”, Time, Monday, Jul. 24, 1939.

…in the spring of 1938, [Currie] wrote an influential memo on the Causes of the Recession.

Its prime theses, now commonplace:

1) U. S. Social Security taxes took so much out of the public pocketbook that the Government’s net contribution was reduced during the crucial March-September period in 1937 to a monthly average of $60,000,000 from $335,000,000 during 1936.

2) “Compensatory” Federal spending to stimulate heavy industry might be more flexible if concentrated “in large part outside the regular budget.”

“Outside the regular budget” meaning the potential for deficit spending.

So, again: in 1939 it was common understanding that the ‘Roosevelt Recession’ was caused by the government spending TOO LITTLE and NOT TOO MUCH.

But, no, the asshole brigades who just spent the last 8 years sending our entire f***ing economy into the sh*tter are still trying to waltz around in their shoes made out of sh*t telling us that those sh*t prints left all over the floor aren’t theirs.

And when things get really bad, Reynold can eat his gun!

Note that in Instahack’s world, the bailout is already Obama’s fault! Wheeeee!! And all that warrantless wiretapping is just more evidence of the lie-beral agenda to erode our civil liberties. And it’s shocking that Obama let New Orleans suffer during Katrina the way he did.

Fortunately Professor Reynolds has some good news:

Now we’ve had over five years of war in Iraq, finally winding toward a successful conclusion,

Umm, yeah – about that successful conclusion:
http://warnewstoday.blogspot.com/index.html

Baghdad:
#1: Three civilians were killed and 15 people, including three policemen, injured when a roadside bomb detonated near a police checkpoint in the Doura district in southern Baghdad, the source told Xinhua on condition of anonymity.

#2: In a separate incident, another roadside bomb went off near an Iraqi army dismounted patrol near the al-Zarzoor restaurant in Baghdad western district of Mansour, wounding two soldiers and two civilians, the source said.

The same source said “another bomb exploded targeting an Iraqi army vehicle patrol in al-Mansour region in western Baghdad, injuring four soldiers.”

Mosul:
#1: A truck bomb driven by a suicide bomber targeted a checkpoint manned by Iraqi Army in Thawra neighbourhood, downtown Mosul at 8.30 p.m. Thursday, injuring thirty six people including six soldiers and causing severe material damages to surrounding buildings and civilian cars.

Any fucking day of the week they say “We’re Winning!” or whatever bullshit they want, dozens are being blown up by car bombs or found in mass graves tortured to death or executed by Iraqi police forces or some fresh new hell that’s been uncovered in that glorious hole of ethnic cleansing that is Iraq.
“The Surge™ is Working!” means 1. ethnic cleansing is almost complete, 2. American forces are hiding in protected areas and 3. Glenn made poopy. Iraq is still a fucking war-zone after half a decade with at least 100K American soldiers on the ground at any given fucking moment of those five and a half years. I don’t fucking know how anybody can call what’s happening in Iraq right now “success”.

Guns v. Butter: Hurrah, the butter is gone!

Trying again… Guns v. Butter: Hurrah, the butter is gone!

WordPress, when Preview gets back he is going to KICK YOUR ASS.

Iraq is still a fucking war-zone after half a decade with at least 100K American soldiers on the ground at any given fucking moment of those five and a half years.

Don’t forget the two million or so Iraqis who have fled the country – roughly equivalent in American terms to the entire population of all five NYC boroughs picking up sticks and moving to Canada.

Do the University of Tennessee Law School or Tennessee Bar Association have any kind of professional standards? I mean, I am surprised this idiot made it through the first year of law school.

There are no major problems remaining in Iraq. If anyone says there is, just repeat to them loudly over and over in a monotone voice “BUT YOU WILL ADMIT THAT THE SURGE IS WORKING” until they fall silent and/or walk away.

roughly equivalent in American terms to the entire population of all five NYC boroughs picking up sticks and moving to Canada.

Don’t give the wingnuts any ideas. (Not that they would know what to do with them, but still…)

And when things get really bad, Reynold can eat his gun!

Actually, simply eating a bullet would probably get the job done.

[Added a link, but then added the wrong link, so had to change, etc., et puis. All better now!]

as documented in Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism

At that point I started laughing so hard I could read no further.

Do the University of Tennessee Law School or Tennessee Bar Association have any kind of professional standards?

Actually, yes, they do. UT Law School is home to at least two nationally renowned civil-rights and free speech experts, for example. Yah, we’re a state university and so forth, but please don’t judge the whole place by this egregiously embarrassing asshat, because I can assure you he’s a laughingstock around here as well. Some of us don’t laugh as hard as others, is all.

as documented in Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism

I think the English language just exploded.

as documented in Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism by Jonah’s intern, with a synopsis of major political theorists’ philosophies submitted by anonymous and unattributed e-mailers…

et puis. All better now!

So pork is bad, unless it’s war-pork. Maybe Palin shoulda mentioned that Gravina Island was strategically important – ta da four hundred million dollars please!

I plan on using this government money to fund avant-garde performance art pieces celebrating Mother Earth and Gay Abortions – but I plan to do so very aggressively – practically militantly! I Can Haz Million Dollares Nao?

We’re gonna need millions to institute National Subsidized Day Care – but I also promise to punch a brown guy in the face too – where’s mah check?

OT:

Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed this evening while giving a speech to Federalist Society in Washington, DC…

Attorney General Mukasey was roughly twenty minutes into a speech defending the administration’s torture policies and particularly arguing against prosecutions of people who made decisions in the aftermath of 9/11 (essentially arguing against what he believed amounted to the criminalization of policy differences).

Some seven or eight minutes prior to the incident a heckler start shouting, calling Mukasey a “tyrant.” But the AG seemed unfazed by this; and members of the audience shouted the heckler down.

The eyewitness tells me that Mukasey seemed particularly in earnest about the argument he was making. And when he first began to falter it appeared he was merely choking up. Soon, what at first appeared to be choking up blended into slurred words. Twenty to thirty seconds later he collapsed, his fall broken by a nearby FBI agent.

Karma’s a bitch.

The last sentence was mine. Damn you haloscan! I mean WordPress! I mean THX 1138!

It’s already been said, but deserves to be said again…

…as documented in Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism–supports that argument.

Um, no, you fucking tool.

roughly equivalent in American terms to the entire population of all five NYC boroughs picking up sticks and moving to Canada.

Well, at least I won’t have to wait so long for a good table at Babbo.

The last sentence was mine. Damn you haloscan! I mean WordPress! I mean THX 1138!

Oh Preview! We we’re so mean to you while you were here because you were such a lying bitch, but now that you’re gone there’s a great big hole in my close tags.

Preview come back, you can blame it all on me.
I was wrong and I just can’t blockquote without you!

BTW, here’s a link to the Mukasey story:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/245321.php

And in case you think picking on an old man who lost consciousness amid a defense of disappearing random people and torturing them for years is “de trop” or “over the line” – he’s doing fine:
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/245324.php

So make all the Mukasey jokes ya want.

Do the University of Tennessee Law School or Tennessee Bar Association have any kind of professional standards?

Yes.

If you can put your money on the bar, they’ll serve you.

So how do we reconcile Der Perfesser’s call for limited gummint with our pressing need for buying a privateer fleet as the Noonan recommends?

Dragon-king, I freely admit to being an unfeeling asshole when it comes to torture enablers and Bush sycophants like Mukasey. I think it has something to do with the cumulative effect of the last eight years.

make all the Mukasey jokes ya want.

So, Bush’s third attorney general walks into a bar.

“Gimme a free drink, godammit!” he shouts, slamming his fist down on the bar.

“Well, you’re gonna have to let us pull off one of your fingernails first,” the bartender replies.

“Go ahead, do it!” Mukasey snarls back, sticking out his hand.

The bartender pulls out a pair of pliers and rips off one of Mukasey’s fingernails. Mukasey doesn’t flinch.

The bartender is very impresed. “OK, here’s a double shot of Maker’s Mark for you.”

Mukasey hooks it down in one gulp, slams the glass on the bar, sticks out his hand, and says, “Hit me again.”

So the bartender rips off another fingernail. Again, no flinching. Mukasey tosses back his second shot, slams down the glass, and asks for another.

They keep this up until all ten of Mukasey’s fingers are just bloody stumps. He puts on his hat, nods goodbye to the bartender, and walks out the door. He gets in a cab, and has the driver take him to Foggy Bottom. He gets out of the cab and goes up to Condi’s 5th floor corner office. She’s sitting demurely at her desk.

The attorney general unscrews the hands at the wrists, tosses them at Condi, and tells her, “You can have your hands back now.”

Do robots even need butter?

MSNBC.com:

Video: Palin interview marred by grisly turkey incident

Well, keeeeeeyrist, if Barbie had just fucking looked behind her before doing the fucking interview…!

Do robots even need butter?

Please, let’s not even go there.

c a,
Just an optics comment. Troll-tards comment-mining here would cackle if they saw someone poking fun at an ill elderly man – regardless of what said elderly person has done to earn our scorn.

But I totally agree with you. Seriously, if this bipartisanly supported guy can’t be bothered to fix Justice like he’s supposed to – fuck him. You mean my office wrote memos supporting water-boarding and stress positions? Well nothing can be done about that now. Habeas what-us? Pffft, that’s not important when we’re talking about the credibility of the GOP here. Anything to protect the Republican brand.

The guy was billed as an objective and rational judge, and from some pretty sharp guys but since he’s been installed, he’s acted like a fucking GOP tool. Here’s a report documenting clear and blatant violations of the Hatch Act – oh your hands are tied – nothing you can do. I appreciate that his biggest draw was that he wasn’t Alberto Gonzales, but can anyone actually point out something Mukasey’s done to earn that faint praise.

Obviously God struck Mukasey down in His righteous wrath.

So how do we reconcile Der Perfesser’s call for limited gummint with our pressing need for buying a privateer fleet as the Noonan recommends?

Oh.

Well, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, privateering is the outsourcing of your navy, much like letting Blackwater invade Iraq…

Obviously God struck Mukasey down in His righteous wrath.

Much like he set California on fire after that awful Amendment 8 thing passed. God will not be mocked!!!!

God will not be mocked!!!!

That’s right, bitchessss! God’s on OUR team now! So suck it, Pat Robertson.

Much like he set California on fire after that awful Amendment 8 thing passed. God will not be mocked!!!!

Also, Focus on the Family, a big prop 8 supporter and funder by over half a million $, just announced they’re laying off 20% of their work force.

Obviously God struck Mukasey down in His righteous wrath.

And caused an oil tanker to be pirated!

Oh, wait…

Do robots even need butter?

Please, let’s not even go there.

*tearing up lubrication jokes*

Damn, even by his standards, that was incoherent.

Truman fought in Korea and lost the next election.

Uh, Glenn? Truman didn’t run in the next election.

Uh, Glenn? Truman didn’t run in the next election.

Yea, cuz, you know, the 22nd Amendment was only ratified in 1951…

Yea, cuz, you know, the 22nd Amendment was only ratified in 1951…

The 22nd Amendment (limiting presidents to two terms) didn’t apply to Truman, because he was in office in 1947, when it passed through Congress. He could have run in 1952 if he’d wanted, but he decided he’d had enough.

I’d say “Four Percenters” is a totally apt name for these perma-war fanboys – in this economy, that’s about the level of public support they can look forward to. When you’re outspending the next 44 countries on arms, maybe it’s time to get that monkey off your back – before he rips your throat out.

“the Depression, under FDR”

Wingnuts just love this canard to death – too bad he didn’t become POTUS until 1933, whereas that silly ol’ Depression actually began in 1929, under Hoover, huh?

“While there may be some number of troops in Iraq for years to come, the Iraq War is pretty much over. “

They were saying this exact same horseshit word-for-word in 2005 … & 2006 … & not so much since then, until late this year. Ye Olde Magickal Memory Hole just never ever fills up in Wingnutland.

My opinion of Forbes was already in the toilet once I saw their “The Great Global Warming Hoax” cover some years back – now it’s most of the way down the pipes to the Sewage Treatment Plant.

GURGLE GURGLE FLOOP.

Does it ever seem to anyone as though Glenn “Porkbuster” Reynolds, the small-government libertarian, plays his readers for rubes?

But of course. That’s what they are, n’est-ce pas?

And wingnuts have always had calendar problems. Seems to me I recall Rush Limbaugh trying to blame the Clinton Administration for Ruby Ridge, which happened before Clinton was even elected let alone took office.

MzNicky,

Pleased to hear it. You need not feel alone. We at the University of Montana have our own version of Perfessor RoboRooter in the state’s only law school. May be even crazier (in the glibertarian, natural law, wingnutty fashion) than Reynolds.

The 22nd Amendment (limiting presidents to two terms) didn’t apply to Truman, because he was in office in 1947, when it passed through Congress. He could have run in 1952 if he’d wanted, but he decided he’d had enough.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…don’t confuse the wingnuts with facts…

Actually, Truman DID run but was beaten by Stevenson in New Hampshire and pulled out.

Has that feller been uploaded into the kingdom of erotic robots yet?

Reynolds is yet another reason why you should never waste money on the University of Tennessee. Go Vandy.

Actually, Truman DID run but was beaten by Stevenson in New Hampshire and pulled out.

You sure about that, actor? I read McCullough’s bio and don’t recall that bit.

On the other hand, I can’t remember where I left my car keys, either, so what the hell do I know.

Methinks Perfessor Reynolds has outsmarted himself. The expression he tries to reference in the title, bullets to butter ratio, refers to allocating the proper amount of resources to each need when you are already fighting a war: “How much butter do you need to feed people to make enough bullets.” Its an extension of Napoleon’s “An army marches on its stomach.”
Everything seems to be a zero-sum game of some kind with these hacks.

BS,

From Wiki:

Truman’s name was on the New Hampshire primary ballot but Kefauver won. On March 29 Truman announced his decision not to run for re-election.[147] Stevenson, having reconsidered his presidential ambitions, received Truman’s backing and won the Democratic nomination.

147 McCullough pp 887-893

I thought Reynolds’ vision of the future was a radiant trans-humanist utopia. Somewhere along the way it morphed into a stockade society on a perpetual war footing, combining the worst features of Sparta and Friedrich’s Prussia, without teh buttsecks. Confused Clyde is confused.

I agree with pere, shorter people can do anything,Mr. Reynolds
you are so brilliant, I am eagerly waiting for your next collection. I appreciate it so much this law department regarding management is
really very helpful for my future business progress.