Jonah Ark
Doop-de-doop, mindin’ my own business, readin’ National Review.
Cruise Review [Jonah Goldberg]
Many thanks to Katie at KabukiVillage for her very flattering write-up of the NR Cruise and yours truly. There are pictures from the sea, for those interested.
Oh right, it’s time again for the National Review Cruise, a font of humor that comes often to the leftward side of the Internet and that, I’m sorry, is simply never any less funny than the time before. Pirates! Lifeboat cannibalism! Stewards slinking from K-Lo’s cabin with shoes in hand! The pool scene from Caddyshack!
Johann Hari’s piece on the July, 2007 cruise is currently the one of record, and personally, as such things go, my favorite National Review Cruise is always the next one. But let’s see what Katie-at-KabukiVillage has to say.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you….and it is just more fun
When I bought Jonah Goldberg’s book, Liberal Fascism, months ago, it would have been much easier to buy it in suburbia. But I waited…waited until I knew I would be in Manhattan for the day…a day when I could purchase it at the book store at Grand Central (making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts) and could then carry it throughout my day of meetings.
Passive aggressive? You betcha (h/t Gov. Palin); and a whole lot of fun. Yes, yes, I would keep Freud very busy.
Whoah, not so fast there! For those who didn’t catch the reference, ‘Freud’ is the psychology guy who liked to figure out crazy people. It’s great to spice up your lingo with trivia references, but fair or not, people do judge you by the words you use. And confusing is never effective! So before you drop an apple core in the trash basket and say “Watch out, Sir Isaac Newton,” you might want to “get a brain, Einstein,” and let your audience off the bang I just shot myself through the head.
[end credits, commercial for Sham-Wow with the young carnival-barker guy wearing the headset, FreeCreditReport.com commercial with the guy on the bicycle, promo for upcoming holiday episode of Stargate: Atlantis, roll opening credits]
Hi, it’s me again. We’re moving too fast. Let’s back up.
But I waited…waited until I knew I would be in Manhattan for the day…a day when I could purchase it at the book store at Grand Central (making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts) and could then carry it throughout my day of meetings.
This is the personality type that voted for Bush in 2000 to “stick it to the liberals,” and then voted for Bush in 2004 wetting their pants over the global foreign Islam terror jihad threat, but then recovered their senses in time to vote for McCain/Palin in 2008, to “stick it to the liberals.”
For in prosperous times when fortune smiles upon the Union, the abiding purpose of the spite caucus is to stick it to the liberals. In times of uncertainty, such as the great and encompassing uncertainty that we now find ourselves confronting, they find ways to blame the liberals for everything bad that happens and devise new solutions by punitively sticking it to them. In their imagined perfect world — i.e., without liberals to stick it to — they would stand around sticking it to them vicariously, while farms ran fallow and airplanes plummeted to the ground and cities fell awash under waves of seawater, as the dollar came to incite thin laughter in Asian bank moguls and as the very furniture was being carted out of their defaulted houses by sheriff’s officers. Others of their tribe would stand on the sidewalk as the tables and chairs filed sadly past, whisperingly accusing the defaulted homeowners of being liberals. The sheriff’s men would eye the liberals on the sidewalk with a mind toward sticking it to them.
Let’s look at this woman’s big day on the town. She created a multi-stage pageant out of buying a copy of Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism — a book devised as though on the spot at a cocktail party, as an insouciant one-liner from a half-drunk Jonah to some cornball editor he was trying to impress (Adam Bellow, let’s imagine), which was then delivered only after years of flop sweat, excruciating mental gymnastics, and probably genuine debilitating mental depression, because as Jonah knew at the time (and as he probably knows still during certain late nights and lonely self-encounters), while its concept is guaran-freaking-teed to make liberals hop-hop-hoppingly mad, it cannot stand as a serious book because it is premised on an absurdity. So here she’s like, “Tee-hee, my plan begins by loudly asking for this book at Grand Central Station, just in case there’s a liberal nearby to whom I’d be sticking it.” It’s like those Mexican guys in Los Angeles with the bouncy cars: On the surface it just looks silly, but then you consider the industry and determination on display — step by step from concept to technical execution — in installing custom hydraulic systems in order to bounce up and down in their car all pocketa-pocketa while scowling at you at a random stoplight, and it’s genuinely sort of terrifying. What sort of people would do this, and by God, what else are they capable of?
Like the other NR chaps, I had certainly read Jonah for ages and marveled at his talent and his ability to absolutely strip bullshit away from ridiculous arguments and eviscerate the opposition.
This is true: Jonah often presents his ridiculous arguments absolutely stripped of bullshit. Or is it the other way around? Either way, he certainly sticks it to the liberals.
And he certainly displayed a similar laid back and approachable demeanor as his fellow speakers. But Jonah, above all the others, was the most successful at doing one thing that I know we all needed….
It’s enough to note the possibilities of this setup, and quietly to move on.
he reminded us all how much fun this should be…that we really are optimists above all else and hanging our heads in worry or defeat, while an option, was really just no damn fun.
What with the tale of her New York rampage, baying through the streets with book awave and with chumps strewn like matchsticks behind her and so forth, she forgot to mention the part about being on the National Review Cruise with real live Jonah. Real live Jonah with cuddle-paw action…
I have read some of the ugly posts about him and the hate-mail he posts. The disappointing news to those of who think that nonsense gets under his skin, it doesn’t. Not even a little. He maintains such a positive attitude and flat out joy at what he is doing that I imagine the Patchouli smelling anti-social moonbat who sends a hate missive would be devastated to see just how grounded and happy he is.
See, for instance, his flat-out joy at obsessively arguing with his critics. But if ‘Doughy Pantload’ doesn’t bother him anymore, it might be time to bring back the sobriquet, ‘The Thing From Lucianne’s Vagina.’ We can’t have him getting too comfortable; that’s when he comes up with ideas for books which future historians will regard as a blot on our era.
Comedy night was when he shined brightest for me. He was able to take his deep knowledge of all things political, and deliver commentary in a way that was both tangible and damn funny.
It’s starting to be clear why Jonah linked to this post.
In a setting where Mark Steyn (funnier than Hell) and Rob Long (who is so good at this genre it is his gig) were in their element, Jonah proved to be spectacular. As with Stephen, I wish that more people saw this side of the folks on our side of the aisle.
Who’s Stephen? But never mind. She’s building to a crescendo here.
We are shackled by an this image of a staid, serious old white guy or a twin-set wearing pearl twirling Upper East Sider or a redneck from the boonies. Those are the options. The rest of us, in fact the majority of us, somehow manage to be ignored by the MSM and the crazies on the left.
…Almost like a majority that is silent, or a noiseless quorum or something. It’s almost as if conservatives are marginalized and stereotyped in the manner of minority groups, while yet making up the mainstream of Americans. It’s like this select majority of superior average people is being systematically persecuted, except you would never know it from the liberal mainstream MSM media, which is against them and in the pocket of a tiny lunatic fringe of far-left liberal crazies that dominates the entirety of American political culture by force of numbers.
We’re breaking new ground here. Such a claim of ennobled victimhood has never been made by every single authoritarian movement since the 19th Century. Or wait, has it? Must look this up later on the Internet.
They can’t wrap their heads around us…can’t acknowledge that we are out there because, if they did,
This is unfair, for we frequently acknowledge that they are ‘out there.’
…they might actually have to tackle substance…and issues and move beyond character attacks and their own perverse discrimination. They can not stomach the diversity of our people, ideas, backgrounds and lifestyles.
I wonder if this style of argument would work the other way around? Wait, let me try.
[squeezes mustard all over the wall]
Conservatives cannot face their squeezing of mustard onto this wall.
[squeezes mustard onto the floor until the mustard bottle makes sniffy air-squeezy sounds]
Just because conservatives boast of strangling children and eating them, they think they can squeeze anything they want onto this floor, starting with this mustard.
They can’t even face the fact that we have fun, we laugh. There has to be a reason that the majority of the email I get from angry lefties is almost always from men and almost always uses sexually explicit or pseudo-violent language…projection?
Yes, that’s the word we were groping for, if ‘groping’ isn’t underwear hoedown explicit or pseudo-violent language whoopie biscuits. There’s even a psychological term for when a person projectingly accuses others of projection, although you have forgotten it — or rather, you are accusing me of saying that you forgot it.
Also, America needs a bold nude erection.
Inherent unhappiness or anger? Lack of the ability to submit rational arguments and thus the need to default into aggressiveness? Who knows, who cares.
As if to illustrate her point, a few weeks ago I made a special effort to walk through Jabib, Oklahoma ostentatiously waving a copy of the Communist Manifesto. Ha ha, no, you did that. No, I did, and you’re accusing me of you doing it. Ha ha, you think you’re in a hall of mirrors, but I aren’t.
[gunshot, shattering glass]
Yes, shoot if you like, but which one is the real me? Hahahaha!
One would think (hope) that the feminists these “men” cuddle with would kick their asses if they knew their love monkeys were using these approaches to try to intimidate a woman….of course, when the feminists finally address Clinton’s abuse of women, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I simply marvel at the hate and the anger and the Freudian implications.
I’d keep Freud very busy. No, you would! Hahahaha!
[gunshot, shattering glass]
Why are me shooting you at me? Hahahaha!
[gunshot, shattering glass]
As for Jonah? He is a force to be reckoned with…a killer combination of intellect, wit and joie de vivre…and I for one look forward to laughing alongside him in the adventure ahead.
Us too, and Jonah’s wife doesn’t have to worry that we’ll show up at his office naked under a fur coat.
beyond parody…..
[shakes head, moves on]
what else are they capable of?
Histrionics?
…what else are they capable of?
Histrionics?
That crazy lady has a blog entry called “Because if we didn’t demonize you, the world will look at us more closely”. Which without reading the post in question comes across as a rare moment of honesty from the frothing right.
I don’t know what it is.
It’s probably not even fair.
But somehow, for SOME reason I just can’t put my finger on, I’m thinking this may very well be the most annoying person on the planet.
But why? What makes me think that?
Maybe I’m just having a bad day. Yeah, that’s probably it. I’m just tired of all this day-long sobriety…
mikey
Who’s Stephen?
Spruiell, of course.
Jonah the Jolly Pantload? Dough-ho-ho!
Did she close by mentioning that she needs to go change her panties now?
bang I just shot myself through the head.
Way to go, HITLER.
Holy Mary Mother of Pearl. I am…just…..spee…wordle..ss…ffflurrpp.
This….this…wow.
Sublime genius, this.
Really funny, Gavin. That is industrial-grade tonguejacking Katie has going there.
Christmas comes early to SadlyNo!
We have another four years of this ahead of us? Man, I’d better gird my loins, if I had loins, I think.
Wait, what?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 21, 2008 at 1:40
bang I just shot myself through the head.
Way to go, HITLER.
That’s it. We’re done. Congrats, R.B. Thanks, all, for playing.
Looks like the poor dear has “rational” and “rationale” confused.
That is industrial-grade tonguejacking Katie has going there.
Given that Jonah is the jackee, home-use tonguejacking would never suffice.
Dude, you did not just compare lowrider culture with wingnuttery. Besides, the Vida Guerra discussion is in the next thread down.
Katie is also the one who came here a few threads back and complained about our ideological snobbery and intolerance for differing opinions. This from someone whose blog header entreats the visitor to imagine a world with no liberals.
Extra special bonus comedy:
That poor Larry Craig. He was just trying to join the elite.
Instant-classic, Gavin!
Will be replayed tomorrow night at 10:00 PM central.
Oh you just know it wouldn’t be the same if someone didn’t bring up teh homos—
—
Yes, real men.
I will leave where to go from here up to the (far more capable) peanut gallery here.
(In the name of the father, son, and Holy Preview, Amen.)
When it comes to perversion, I try to be as discriminating as possible.
Now, who is this person again?
They can not stomach the diversity of our people, ideas, backgrounds and lifestyles.
I don’t know why – exactly – but I really really doubt the NRO Cruise Participants displayed “diversity”.
I await
a commemorative plate.
I can’t wait for KGirl (separated at birth from KLo?) to come over here and share some of her “joy” and “laughter”.
Lord knows all us hateful Liberals need some fun!
So far we’ve seen her whine in a previous threads’ comments, as noted above. Doesn’t she understand that us sad Liberals don’t need any more whining? We are all still so angry and despondent over Obama winning.
many of the feminists these men cuddle with are other men, though
that’s right, only fags care about equality!!!1!!!!
what. an. asshole.
Real men? Ambiguosly gendered Pantload groupie seems cuddly…doesn’t she?
What? What?
I can’t wait for KGirl (separated at birth from KLo?) to come over here and share some of her “joy” and “laughter”.
it’s funny that wingnuts never laugh at Sadly No, nor appreciate all the laughs we have over here. Hmmmmmmm
> I don’t know why – exactly – but I really really doubt the NRO Cruise Participants displayed “diversity”.
Sure they did.
Some of the speakers prefer to be flattered via logrolling, and other prefer flattery via tonguejacking.
That, and the variety in sexual preferences (i.e, dbl wetsuits vs. airport bathrooms), is just about as diverse as the human species can get!
That might be one of the great hopes we can offer…real men.
Someone is hearing the tick, tick, tick of her biological clock. She’s going to go off any day now.
Katie sounds like she is this|| close to being Jonah’s stalker. She writes well, as in uses words and punctuation correctly, but what she writes is just mind-boggling.
Going into an imaginary lion’s den waving an imaginary steak, what (faux) courage! What brilliant defiance! And what did the clerk do? Did his lip curl in a fearsome sneer? Alas, there is no mention of the clerk’s reaction nor the huddled liberals turning away from her in disgust.
I would imagine it went more like this:
Katie: I’m looking for LIBERAL FASCISM by JONAH GOLDBERG!
Phlegmatic clerk: It’s right over there on the table.
Other customers: *bland indifference* * do not even look up from their copies of Disapproving Rabbits
Katie: oh. Do you take American Express?
Clerk: no.
the
end
(Oh, and I reeeally wanted to use “underwear hoedown” and “whoopie biscuits” in this post)
When I read this, starbursts sparkled before my eyes in a dazzling array, forming a long cylindrical shape that was not-at-all phallic.
Well done, Gavin.
They are making quite the mess in that echo chamber, aren’t they?
I dunno about it being Spruiell, J. It could be Colbert. This one seems dumm enuff fer it.
I thought feminists were all lesbians? …I’m confused.
I poked around her blog a little the other day, when the subject was towel monkeys and libruls are so meeean!
She identifies herself as a moderate. I ask myself, a moderate what? I was a moderate Republican before I found out I’m really just a leftie liberal (sent my re-registration off today! it’s official that my grandpa is now spinning in his grave) and I NEVER thought or acted the way she does. She is SUCH a wingnut groupie… wingnut.
Reminds me of the slightly scary fans (not the really scary ones) that celebrities have to deal with.
What would we do without wingnuts? Who would we mock?
I hope Jonah paid her for all that ass kissin’. That stuff is PRIMO!
Hey, is this the adoring red-haired person next to Jonah in the cruise pictures?
[LIGHT BULB OVER HEAD]
Hey, is this the adoring red-haired person next to Jonah in the cruise pictures?
As much as that would be awesome, I don’t think so. She posted some pictures at the end of her entry, and while the dingbat linked to the thumbnail (making it impossible to see the larger pic), it is quite clearly her and Jonah at dinner, and it’s not that…thing with Jonah.
Flip, I think you’re onto something there!
LALALA [hands covering ears]
When I read this, starbursts sparkled before my eyes in a dazzling array, forming a long cylindrical shape that was not-at-all phallic.
Waz this what ya saw?:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bstewart23/2197661926/
Welcome to Heaven, brother.
Her heart is torn. Her passions are conflicted.
On the one hand, she is dazzled by the urbane Jonah with his sparkling wit and vast erudition. But she also feels the powerful sexual magnetism of a more dangerous and more manly man…
I have always harbored a crush on Rummy*…
Where will she turn? Which love will triumph?
(* from Where are Moose and Squirrel???, Nov. 18)
As for Jonah? He is a force to be reckoned with…a killer
combinationof intellect, wit and joie de vivre…Fixt.
I want Miss Katie to come here so I can get her opinion of Ichikawa Somegoro. I mean, she calls herself Kabuki Girl, so she’s got to know him, right? And he’s a “real man” and all (scare quotes at her insistence).
Surely, surely, no-one on the inner tubes would name themselves for, or write about, anything they hadn’t thoroughly researched. Would they?
[End pretendy outrage] Honestly, if Missy showed up around here pulling that kind of pathetic, attention-getting stunt in a bookshop, there’d be snorts and sniggers all round, including the clerk. After all, retail is a boring gig, and you have to take your fun where you can find it.
It could be Colbert. This one seems dumm enuff fer it.
No, Stephen Spruiell.
“Stephen is, in my humble opinion, EXACTLY what conservatives my age and younger need to see up in our grill all the DAMN time! He is handsome, young, smart as shit and able to deliver it with a one two punch in print, but in an incredibly down to earth way in person.”
Tick, tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick
tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick .
And that’s her in the photo too. Pretty sure.
Sadly, I have a feeling that Spruiell isn’t that into her. I don’t know, I just have this feeling. Call it some kind of radar or other.
Oh, heavens. Here she is with Mark Steyn. Steyn looks like a man on run from the law and his mordant thoughts. Kabuki Girl looks like she’s in the middle of a Greatful Dead concert. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except she looks just like the “hippies” she criticizes.
You can only wear hippy clothes and paraphrase hippy songs for so long…and then you become a hippy.
Oh, heavens.
Oh good lord. I hadn’t been back since the election and I’m never leaving again. ROF &c &c.
And btw she has an engagement or wedding ring on.
I noticed this babe’s post here the other day.
I read it as I read thru the thread.
I stopped. Scrolled back up. Read it again. Huh?
Maybe it was me, but it was incoherent. It was almost a random series of english language words. It didn’t seem to convey any actual meaning.
I walked past a dood on the Golden Gate Bridge one winter afternoon a few years ago. He was standing there, all by himself, muttering. As I passed him, I could hear what he was saying. The words were clear, but they didn’t seem to string together correctly. There was no concept being presented, just a stream of well-formed words.
Just another wack job, y’know?
I minute and a half later, he jumped…
mikey
And btw she has an engagement or wedding ring on.
That’s no doubt from her and Jonah’s super-secret engagement. The one that’s totally real, and in no way some kind of creepy stalker fantasy carried out in the middle of the night in her state room after 2 bottles of wine and a handful of Xanax, with a homemade Jonah doll constructed from a giant Cheeto bag, his picture from the Liberal Facism dust jacket, and some of Jonah’s shed hairs collected from chair backs while people weren’t looking.
Maybe it was me, but it was incoherent.
I had no idea what she was on about either.
Oh, heavens. Here she is with Mark Steyn.
AIEEEEEEEE!!! NOSFERATU!
(holds up lug wrench in vain attempt to pertend it’s a silver cross)
Oh, and vastleft bugfuck.
THAT will become a hippy the day I become young again.
The stupid® is strong with this one…
Well, as hilarious as this was (well done, Gavin!) I do feel a twinge from more than my overworked ribs.
I can only imagine Winguttia is sheer hell for the ladies.
If they get jobs there’s this nagging feeling they aren’t supposed to be doing this, and dealing with the “bluestocking” feeling.
Probably they would like to fall in love and have kids. But Wingnut men tend to drool over large boobs (in all possible terms) who will not challenge their masculinity.
Damned if they do…
I wish that more people saw this side of the folks on our side of the aisle
You go, girl, and get those funny, thoughtful folks out there where we can see them too! All we ever see are the “I waited to buy a book just so I could piss off a stranger!” types.
(making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…)
A dated book on a table in the centre of the store is probably also marked down and not selling.
Darn it, that last gary ruppert was me.
Dammit!
More fun pics from the rockin’ and upbeat National Review Cruise.
Good times, good times.
I think I saw this lady at my local bookstore once. I swear to FSM, this happened about six months ago.
I was perusing the Howard Zinn titles (really), and I heard someone at the counter ask in an over-loud voice, “Do you have a book calledLiberalism run amok: How the Clinton presidency and liberal democrats are destroying America”?
The answer was no. She then said, again loudly, “Oh I see, you don’t have Liberalism run amok: How the Clinton presidency and liberal democrats are destroying America. I wonder why that is. I’ll have to keep looking for Liberalism run amok: How the Clinton presidency and liberal democrats are destroying America. Thank you.”
I exchanged knowing glances with the other people nearby, and snickered softly to myself.
I would imagine it went more like this:
Katie: I’m looking for LIBERAL FASCISM by JONAH GOLDBERG!
Phlegmatic clerk: It’s right over there on the table.
Other customers: *bland indifference* * do not even look up from their copies of Disapproving Rabbits
Katie: oh. Do you take American Express?
Clerk: no.
I’m sure in her mind it was much more exciting, what with the hordes of zombie-like Obama supporters she had to dodge, the daring climb to the top of the Buisness section shelves, and the split-second timing of the heroic getaway in the stealth attack helicopter piolted by Jonah himself as she hung from a rope ladder and blazed away at the slavering howling liberal hordes with an Uzi (made in Israel – how ironic!!!)
Oh, hey. A few typos in that last post.
Maybe it’s time for bed.
Eds, It’s out of print, no sellers offering it used, and there are no readers’ comments on Amazon. Powell’s doesn’t know where to get you a copy, and Barnes and Noble never heard of it.
Whyyyyy does this woman have my name? Whyyyy? What has my name ever done to deserve this horrible sullying?
On a lighter note, I think I may have hurt myself laughing at “whoopie biscuits.”
Pere Ubu,
I’m sure her little heart pounded so hard she thought it would come out of her chest.
yes why be coy about letting your thoughtful, funny folk shine in the spotlight?
It’s kind of like how coy capitalists are about citing all the massively successful examples that must abound on how privatization has driven down prices and improved both efficiency and service standards.
I exchanged knowing glances with the other people nearby, and snickered softly to myself.
You’re braver than I. If I had proof that RedState banner ads could walk and talk out in the real world, I’d run home and hide under my bed. After I barfed myself inside-out.
You know, now that I think about it Limbaugh was yammering along the same lines back in ’93 or so – that the conservatives were happy lil’ elves singing and dancing all day enjoying life and laughing out loud while the liberals were all Soviet-style unisex grey clothing and dour pinched faces scowling at the injustice of the world. Or something like that.
Mind you, I’m sure their side is indeed full of yocks, just the kind you get from pulling the legs off flies or leaving a burning bag of dogshit on your neighbor’s front porch.
What sort of people would do this, and by God, what else are they capable of?
The people who would do this aren’t capable of doing anything else. If they were, they wouldn’t be doing it.
Rush is the kind of happy that comes from OxyContin abuse and Viagra-laced brothel tours of the Dominican Republic.
I’m willing to bet that the majority of angry email any woman blogger receives is males using violent imagery, sexual imagery, or for preference violent sexual imagery. And I’m willing to posit that it’s not entirely due to conservatives naturally being chauvinistic fucktards, there being plenty of those to go around on both sides of the divide. cf that woman who blogged about technical shit – Kathy Sierra? Nothing very political about that horrible mess, IIRC.
Why, it’s almost as if there’s some kind of… some kind of SOCIETAL CIRCUMSTANCE, you know, like… akin to special privileges, or… or some thing where men have had kind of the upper hand and… oh, hell, nothing like that could be true. It’s just liberals being horrid to KGirl.
And I’ll say it again: God DAMN these people can be self-absorbed – and unreflecting about it. God wants to damn them for sins, and the Russkies want to take over their country, and the liberals want to make them… be… egalitarian or something. But always, always, they are the focus. They are always the main characters in the story.
Mary Sue, thy name is legion.
And btw she has an engagement or wedding ring on.
Nah, probably one of them Purity Rings. A real conservative woman promises her vag to her father until he sells it to some dood. And no real conservative dood would let his wife anywhere near that sausage fest.
PURE AWESOMENESS:
Palin interviewed (e.g., babbles mindlessly in front of a camera) at an Alaskan turkey farm with a Starbucks in her hand while some dude COVERED IN BLOOD slaughters turkeys.
Loneoak, I’m not sure I can watch that without coughing up a lung: Palin and blood-covered turkeys? It’d only take a few seconds before she grabbed up a handful of giblets and crammed them in her mouth.
Loneoak, no way am I clicking that.
If I were lucky it’d be a rickroll. If your description is accurate it’s like a big bundle of wingnut fetishes all zipped together with a cable tie.
Holy crap: behind her a turkey is struggling, getting its throat slit over a freaking TUB OF BLOOD and she just blithely yammers on… “Haw haw this was fun!”
This sounds suspiciously like another of MzNicky’s ploys to turn us into vegetarians.
I love how when you click on the thumbnail of Dimwit Katie and the Whale you get a new page with a thumbnail of Dimwit Katie and the Whale.
Palin interviewed (e.g., babbles mindlessly in front of a camera) at an Alaskan turkey farm with a Starbucks in her hand while some dude COVERED IN BLOOD slaughters turkeys.
That was great. The KTUU headline reads “Palin interviewed at turkey pardoning.”
That Palin segment seems an awful lot like those PETA ads that kept popping up in the margin here. Watch this… if you dare!
i nominate this post for the Nobel prize in blogging.
Fricking awesome, Gavin.
Congo.
Darfur.
Somalia.
Zimbabwe.
Pakistan.
Chechnya.
Yeah. Sure. Those poor fucking turkeys really have it rough….
mikey
Y’know, yesterday, when she first showed up, I felt that I showed uncommon restraint by not immediately plucking the overripe, low-hanging fruit and letting a charming mixture of dyslexia and Tourette’s be my guide. After reading that rank, runny, jizz-coated paragraph, all I can say is, “I stoods all what I can stands. I can’t stands no more.”
I dub thee, Bukakke Girl.
I don’t think that upended turkey shaking the furniture with its death-throes was exactly “pardoned”.
I say this as a committed vegetarian: that clip is less gross than it is profoundly surreal.
It might be the perfect distillation of Palinism. There’s this working guy behind her, just doing his thing, slitting the throat of a large bird at his smallish farm so he can get those fuckers in the freezer truck in time to Thanksgiving. It’s a gross job, a dirty job, but he’s the kind of guy that just wants to live his life and its not such a bad life when you add it up and compare it to being on someone else’s clock in a soulless office park. So then crazy half-wit woman shows up with a news camera crew. She’s wearing some fancy clothes, drinking a fancy coffee drink but she talks kinda like his redneck friends’ wives. She sets up in front of the camera, gets a touch-up on her makeup, and starts babbling in half sentences full of ridiculous cliches that mean nothing to this man’s life. She says that Americans like hims are “derising of their government to get out of their way so they can grow and progress and progress.” Meanwhile, he knows that he has only 6 hours of daylight at this time of year and needs to keep slitting these birds throats over this trough full of blood if he has any chance of getting them to the grocers in time to make the sale and earn a meager profit this year. He’s splattered with avian blood, soaking his pants. He holds the turkeys upside down, with their heads inside some homemade funnel. His knife is sharp. She continue to babble along with some terrified intern behind the camera, entirely oblivious to what is going on behind her. Sure, she’s more comfortable with death than us citified folk so maybe that doesn’t disturb her quite so much. But she doesn’t care enough about this Joe-the-Turkey-Throat-Slitter to get out of his way. She has a future Presidency to play for, dontcha know. The world spins, living beings die upside down over a trough, other living beings kill them with a quick knife pull, small economies feed bigger economies, small farms feed big families, and Sarah Palin remains a half-wit babbling in front of a camera, completely useless to anyone, completely absent of any worthwhile skill or trait except her capacity to broadcast a peculiar post-post-modern brand of obliviousness.
And we can watch it unfold on YouTube and mock it in order to make the awe a little less real, a little less painful. That isn’t our blood in the trough, that isn’t a knife to our neck. Yet.
This is why the President of the United States does the annual pardoning of the turkey at the White House.
as the dollar came to incite thin laughter in Asian bank moguls
That’s a lovely turn of phrase there. That almost made it worth slogging through every retarded, blockquoted paragraph. You could’ve given us a small sample and we’d have gotten the gist.
I love the fact that the interviewer asks about the state budget “Can you tell us what’s on the chopping block?”
“When I bought Jonah Goldberg’s book, Liberal Fascism, months ago, it would have been much easier to buy it in suburbia. But I waited…waited until I knew I would be in Manhattan for the day…a day when I could purchase it at the book store at Grand Central (making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts) and could then carry it throughout my day of meetings.
Passive aggressive?”
No, that’s just being a douchy, self-important toolbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive_aggressive
It’s like dialogue from _Sweeney Todd_ that got left on the killing, er, _cutting-room_ floor.
Holy crap that video is awesome! She is completely unaware of the message she is sending. I can’t think of any politician (other than her) who would be seen within miles of something like that.
Try the priest.
What’s on the chopping block, you ask? Kim du Toit’s blog for one thing! Read the post, and marvel at the truly stupid and unappreciative nation (that’s us, if you didn’t know) who refuses to support their masters. Lest you forget, Kim du Toit is the prescient oracle who warned us of the “Pussification of the American Male”. And now he’s so poor he’s wearing a cardboard lap-band. Along with his Olympics bound (pistol shooting) son and Air Force bound ( that’s what the lap-band is for, to make the weight. Too bad she gained it back) daughter.
Read that post, I ask you, and see if your heart doesn’t swell with pity.
Remember, unless we come to their rescue the server goes off Nov. 26!
Is it better than the veal? The veal was just awful.
Wups, wrong pasta.
Is it better than the veal? The veal was just awful.
That’s better.
Mrs. du Toit, I might add, threatened me with a libel suit for reading it.
How fucking stupid can her handlers and PR people be, anyway? You don’t go to the fucking slaughterhouse to pardon the turkey, you bring the lucky SOB to the governor’s mansion to do it.
And then you don’t talk about the fact that you’re going to cook a dead turkey carcass for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thank you, Sarah Palin. This has to be the funniest Thanksgiving gift EVER.
Mooser, what on earth did you say? She’s a tiny bit annoyed with you right now.
I was tempted to tell HER to get a job if Kim can’t*. Get two jobs. I’m talking about a Real Job, not what she describes as consulting, but I won’t waste my time posting over there.
*my mother had gout and it can be pretty bad, but geez, give up the coffee and the red meat for a while and take yer damned meds
(making sure to ask the clerk where it was even though it was on a table in the center of the store…just because I knew it would drive the guy nuts
I wonder if it did. Drive the guy nuts, I mean, and if it did, was it “Darn this conservative free spirit” or more like “Jesus, lady, it’s right friggin’ in front of you, I gotta go stock the new Tom Clancy book, fercryinoutloud”. I mean, does she think that just ’cause a clerk is around books all day, he’s automatically and elitist liberal intellectual smarty-pants who’d scoff at the “common man” wisdom of good ol’ Jonah “Down Home” Goldberg?
Man, life is irritating enough without concocting ideological battles for the check-out line at Wal-Mart.
The clip on MSNBC with great captions.
I’m glad the fringe right has been shoved even more to the fringe so I can forget about their pathetic lives.
“…Comedy night was when he shined brightest for me. He was able to take his deep knowledge of all things political, and deliver commentary in a way that was both tangible and damn funny…”
But but but…we’ve been laughing at Jonah for years! We even have a special nickname for him. Everything about him is funny, his looks, his brains and most of all, his
It’s fop, finest in the shop. And we have some shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd on top.
I don’t really doubt that Jonah Goldberg is “funnier than Hell”, as the funniest aspect of Hell would be the “ironic punishment”, which of course probably gets pretty old after the first few hundred years or so. So it’s pretty easy for me to grant that Doughy falls on the humor scale somewhere between “a guy with a fake arrow through his head” and “a guy being force-fed molten gold forever”.
The proof of Stephen Spruiell being “as smart as shit” is left as an exercise to the reader (hint: he is employed by The National Review).
Sometimes I feel as if P’Load, KGirl, and all the other nutjobs have been put here for our entertainment.
It’s like a Star Trek episode or something.
Well, I’ve got to admit, when I first became a radical leftist/atheist, I used to do that kind of stuff, too- walk around with a copy of Che’s ” Guerrilla Warfare”, or “Why I Am Not a Christian” poking ostentatiously out of my pocket- but then I turned 15, and realized everybody else was too busy living their own lives to really give a shit
I’m not the best but it’s a first shot.
Attend the tale of Sarah Todd.
Her skin was pale and her voice was odd.
She wore the finest clothes in the land
That never thereafter were heard of again.
She trod a path that few have trod
did Sarah Todd
the demon gov’ner of Alaska.
She kept a shop in Wassailia town.
Of GOP clients and good renown
and what if none of their souls were saved
they went to their maker impeccably behaved.
By Sarah,
by Sarah Todd
the demon gov’ner of Alaska.
I always make sure to buy turkeys that died of natural causes. That’s how I got this raging case of acute aflatoxicosis!
I never got the whole “pardoning turkeys” thing — for one thing most of these farmed turkeys are going to be so ginormous in a month that they will collapse under their own weight, and secondly they haven’t actually been convicted of a capital crime because they are turkeys and you can’t even charge a turkey with a crime (believe me, I tried — just freeze your credit card, burn the letters and get on with your life).
I would actually love to see a political attack ad where a film of a governor with a turkey suddenly freeze-frames, goes b/w and a little blurry (maybe even in negative) while the narrator describes how Sarah Palin or whatever governor (or president) is soft on turkeys.
George W. Bush: wrong on turkeys; wrong for America.
you can’t even charge a turkey with a crime
You need a better lawyer.
Yeah, that brown lipstick suits her well, doesn’t it?
Well, you learn something new almost every day.
Who knew you could turbocharge kneepads?
noen, I like it, and there’s a tiny change that makes it even genius-er.
Sarah _and_ Todd.
That wikipedia article doesn’t even say anything about deodands. Sheesh, wiki.
So, have we reached Peak Wingnut yet?
Sadly, no!
Shorter Kabuki Girl
I bet she has a Mead 80-page college-ruled spiral notebook in her backpack that is covered with “Kabuki Goldberg” and “Mrs. Jonah Goldberg” in a flurry of little Bic-drawn hearts.
Re Mrs. duToit’s…er… thingy: Where can I get this Lap Dance surgery she speaks of?
KATIE: …and so I decided to wait until I visited Manhattan to buy it.
SIGMUND: Was it not available where you live, this book?
KATIE: Well, yes, but if I bought it at the Tuckahoe Barnes & Noble, they wouldn’t know I got it.
SIGMUND: And who is “they”?
KATIE: The liberals.
SIGMUND: Which liberals?
KATIE: The ones in Manhattan.
SIGMUND: And, by buying the book in Manhattan, did the liberals of that city become aware of your purchase of it?
KATIE: The one who I asked where it was did.
SIGMUND: You asked…
KATIE: I mean, I knew where it was. I could see the big display. But I wanted to stick it to him.
SIGMUND: By…by asking him the location of a best-selling book at his store that you could see in a big display.
KATIE: Right. I showed him. And I showed the one I bought it from.
SIGMUND: You feel you taught him a lesson by purchasing goods from his store.
KATIE: Yes! Because he was a liberal!
SIGMUND: How do you know that?
KATIE: They all are. All of them there. And all the ones in my meetings.
SIGMUND: Meetings?
KATIE: I carried the book with me, to my meetings. So they would know.
SIGMUND: Know what?
KATIE: So they would know that I know.
SECRETARY: Dr. Freud, your 2:00 is here.
SIGMUND: Not now, nurse. I’m very busy.
Oh, Leonard. Your Freud still turns me on after all this time.
Come now. Not even close. We have years of this coming. He hasn’t even been inaugurated yet.
Just remember that their last extended tantrum resulted in Ken Starr. So no matches, and no sharp objects.
Splendid stuff, sirs.
Notwithstanding, might I point to the fact that she presents one indeniable truth?
Mark Steyn is, as she says, indeed funnier than eternal torture by the source of all evil in the universe.
Just barely.
Stephen is, in my humble opinion, EXACTLY what conservatives my age and younger need to see up in our grill…
Is that what they’re calling IUD’s now?
.
That wikipedia article doesn’t even say anything about deodands. Sheesh, wiki.
An inability to remember the difference between deodand and deodar has landed me in any number of embarrassing and sometimes dangerous situations.
J: The KTUU headline reads “Palin interviewed at turkey pardoning.”
Does anyone really believe that turkey got pardoned? I mean, where’s it gonna go?
Are they gonna put it to pasture? Right at the beginning of the fucking Alaska winter?
Mark my words, as soon as the cameras turned in a different direction, that turkey was scooped up, it’s throat slit, and it’s blood let into a tub on live TV while Sarah Palin gave an interview in the foreground.
.
Ken Starr had, in addition to a creepy porno name, millions of dollars and a well-tuned right-wing hate machine behind him. His closest equivalents in the current political climate are a bunch of angry old white guys, and even big Republican donors like Detroit are seeing the writing on the wall.
When 1994 happens again, which no doubt it will, it’ll be the Blue Dogs doing it, and they wouldn’t give up on Obama The Sensible Moderate (any more than we’d give up on Obama The Dauntless Progressive) for the world.
That depends on whether you’re Judas, Brutus, or Crassius.
Anyone above them and it’s Hell by a mile.
This Katie person …
Is she the Harriet Miers to the Doughy Pantload’s George W. Bush?
(Somebody just got insulted there. I’m not exactly sure who …)
KATIE: I mean, I knew where it was. I could see the big display. But I wanted to stick it to him.
SIGMUND: Who else would you like to “stick” it too?
KATIE: Lots of people, it’s a tough world out there. You have to stick it to others before they stick it to you ya know. You effete professors in your ivory towers wouldn’t understand.
SIGMUND: What wouldn’t I understand Katie?
KATIE: Everyone is out to get you.
SIGMUND: I see. So you feel you need to stick it to them first. Tell me, how long have you felt this way?
KATIE: I remember reading something that Madonna said in some interview. I mean I she’s a liberal (and a New Yorker if ya know what I mean) but I remember what she said. She said she felt she had a penis in her head.
SIGMUND: (intercom to his secretary) Please cancel my next appointment and could you get me my notes on Lacan please. I’ll be a while.
SIGMUND: Please, continue…
So Iraq equals the fly and the people of Iraq are its legs …
and the Bush Administration is the burning bag of dogshit left on America’s front porch!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that the whingenutters will be nearly as “successful” or damaging in their endeavors as they were back in the Clenis era. It does pay to err on the side of caution, I suppose, though. Ready for anything, and all that.
I was just pointing out that the histrionics have only just begun. If Teh Nutjobs fail to impress, it won’t be for lack of volume or insanity. They are going to pull out all the stops and play all the scariest notes they know. It will make the 90s look like one long bipartisan love-fest in comparison. This is all fine, as it will show them for the unhinged freak show they are, and drive either the wingers farther into irrelevance in their party, or the party farther into irrelevance in the country, either of which is fine by me.
Oh Gavin, how you make me larf. Thx!
Methinks I see a boiled bunny in teh Pantload’s future…
David Brooks is not happy that the incoming Obama administration is so smart with all their fancy degrees and whatnot, but he is happy that they are not at all too liberal and left and stuff.
Still, I hope this causes David Brooks some hate-fu among the remaining neo-Confederate rightists.
…and the Bush Administration is the burning bag of dogshit left on America’s front porch!
With apologies to The Simpsons, I can see the Democrats’ reaction: “Hmmm… a flaming bag. Well, these brand new Italian loafers will take care of it…”
What you said.
Taking a wade through Kabuki Girl’s blog, I see that her panting, leg-humping bitch-love for Jonah is matched only by her white-hot loathing of all those fucking stupid cunting “poor” cunts who “built their homes” in the flood basin of New Orleans.
I didn’t realise that town planning laws were so different in the US. Apparently you just turn up at a city, find yourself a spot, and build a house there.
I didn’t realise that town planning laws were so different in the US. Apparently you just turn up at a city, find yourself a spot, and build a house there.
Under the repubs, the free market decided planning and zoning. Poor people often found themselves with no choice but to build their houses at the volcanos’ mouths, while the rich built houses with built-in ponies.
I feel sad for missing out on the early commentary for this post. Because this post = Made. Of. Awesome.
Someone should tell her, but all the “twin-set wearing pearl twirling Upper East Side” women I’ve known have, at the very least, been positively psychotic on the subject of protecting a woman’s right to choose (displaying it subtly, of course — an understated lapel pin, in sterling silver, of a little hanger), and more than I can count on both hands could be termed “Red Underwear Society Matrons”.
Being lumped in with these right-wing bozos is making my grandmother, and all her friends, spin in their fucking graves.
Who’s Stephen?
Spruiell, of course.
For a silent majority, there really aren’t that many of them, are there?
[sprays patchouli on self….just to show them!!!!!???????????!]
No man, that’s just word jazz. Think,of her as the wingnut Ken Nordine.
What Mr. Wangchuck said at 15:19. Sorry I missed so much fun, dangnabbit.
And Loneoak @5:37: Awesome deconstruction and beautifully written.
Gavin:
That was most excellent. Kudos and salutations to you!
OHNO!
KabukiKate works near my office?????
SHE SHOPS AT POSMAN’S???? She bought the lone copy of Liberal Fascism they sold?
(FTR, Posman’s is a deeply established artsy bookstore with a deeply liberal staff, as evidenced by the tchotkes for sale by the registers…The Bush Playing Cards, the Bush Countdown Clock…I’ve been thinking about offering them my “Bush’s Last Day” bands for sale)
OK, NOW I’m buying a gun! A BIG gun!
Someone should tell her, but all the “twin-set wearing pearl twirling Upper East Side” women I’ve known have, at the very least, been positively psychotic on the subject of protecting a woman’s right to choose
Damn straight. The demographic of the attendees to the Planned Parenthood fundraiser and silent auction is very much upper class and wealthy.
I met the male equivalent of Kabuki Girl last summer on the Parkway in New Jersey. I was in the far right hand lane, getting ready to exit, and he came up on my left, honking his horn. It seems he had seen my bumpersticker, which indicates that I’m a Democrat. So anyway, while traffic is whizzing around us, he pulls up next to me, and reaches over into his passenger seat to pull up a Bush/Cheney ’04 placard, and wave it back and forth while leaning on his horn. Yes, he’s been cruising the highways of New Jersey with a Bush/Cheney sign in his front seat for the past three years, “sticking it” to random liberals. He seemed very disappointed when I pointed and laughed, rather than shaking my fist in impotent anger or getting into an accident. I guarantee, if the book store clerk had done anything more than shrug one shoulder and point at the remainer table, we would have heard about Kabuki Girl’s Excellent Manhattan Adventure before.
Yes, he’s been cruising the highways of New Jersey with a Bush/Cheney sign in his front seat for the past three years, “sticking it” to random liberals.
Oh, my. That’s pitiful, and by “pitiful” I mean “let’s all have a good laugh at the conservative assbag’s expense”.
Jersey Tomato: I’ve experienced that type too down here in the glorious border state, only they do it knuckle-dragger style. I had one papaw-type guy in (of course) a pickup truck pull up alongside me, shaking his head in disgust and pointing at his (of course) “Support the Troops” yellow ribbon sticker, then give me the finger. I assumed it was because of my “I’m Already Against The NEXT War” and “Obama 08” bumper stickers. Round these parts you don’t wanna engage hostile rednecks in pickup trucks, so I just flashed the peace sign and smiled and sped up.
Lipstick!? OH THANK GOD!
I don’t know if it’s been said yet, but she should change the title of the post to:
“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; write, and the world laughs at you”
Gavin: That was brilliant.
I went on the NRO Cruise and all I got was a doughy pantload.
Hiya Katie! Why the long face?
Further musings from Kabuki Village:
“The panels were interesting…always meaty and at times passionate and contentious and full from start to finish with thought provoking information. But I will admit that I looked the most forward to the hour and a half evening event with Mark, Jonah and Rob Long. They did not disappoint.
Though moderator Jim Geraghty made a valiant effort to reign in three very distinct and strong personalities, he quickly settled back like the rest of us to watch the action. As comedy often is, there was an ADD feel to the evening. The three of them jumped around from topic to topic with lightening speed, giving us all a mere nanosecond to recover from one guffaw before launching into another twisted tangent. Very little was spared their special treatment.
Confession time…I do love National Review. It has been a consistent voice in my life for as long as I can remember. My Quaker/East Coast grandmother (a Smithie no less) was all things left. She sneered at conservatives in the way that only an East Coast elitist can. But she loved Bill Buckley…hated what he said, but loved how he said it. She respected his precise and flavored communication even if she rolled her eyes at his conclusions. As a result, I spent many nights watching Firing Line while she yelled at the tv or threw her copy of NR on the coffee table with derision. I can only imagine what she would think about how much Buckley would ultimately influence me (spinning in her grave…or rather her urn, does not even come close to the horror I am sure.)
Back to the confession…the first thing I open to in my NR when it arrives is Rob Long. Why is that worthy of a confession? I suppose because it is comedy/satire and not in the “officially” meaty category that most think of with NR. But Long’s style suits me…a little bit twisted, often just on the edge of taste and with a wickedly fabulous sense of tweak. The snark factor just does it for me. In some ways, it is like eating dessert first. And in reality, it is as meaty as any column in the magazine and often, some of the most cutting and hard hitting analysis out there. But clever Long does it with a smile and a chuckle. Most of his victims are too focused on his grin to see the dagger being turned.
And an odd bonus for me…my children are perhaps more inundated with political conversation that many. It is a constant theme in our home and my freelance writing ideas are often massaged around the dinner table. Long’s way of approaching important and critical political themes is presented in a way that I can express to my children. Many of the themes and the truly wicked satire remain a bit sophisticated for them, but the overall approach and his ability to find things to laugh with (or often at) provide an important primer for understanding the complexities of political discourse. And a reminder that all of this can and should be fun.
While many talk of the importance of having fun during what could be very uncomfortable times, Long has long embraced that mantra and shows no signs of slowing down.
Go ahead…eat the dessert first once in a while…
ps…One drawback of the evening was Long’s observance of the constant vacuuming by the HA crew….and I mean constant. For the remainder of the trip I could not walk past a crewman vacuuming without giggling which I am sure seemed odd to them. When I arrived home, I promptly put my vacuum in the corner.”
Where has she been all my life???
She respected his precise and flavored communication even if she rolled her eyes at his conclusions. As a result, I spent many nights watching Firing Line while she yelled at the tv or threw her copy of NR on the coffee table with derision.
Um, how “East Coast elitist liberal” could Granny be if she has a subscription to the National Review?????
that sarah palin interview is a perfect metaphor for hers and McCain’s campaign: a turkey-slaughtering machine that jammed.
They can not stomach the diversity of our people, ideas, backgrounds and lifestyles.
Diversity? Who are we talking about?
What’s up with Jonah’s book being on display on a table in the “center” of the store?
Since it was NYC and Jonah’s tomb was a screed against the evils of liberalism, shouldn’t the book have been buried, face down in the corner near the radiator.
Is she sure this store was in New York City and not Topeka?
Oh you wonderful Kabuki-loving Noh-y Pantload – I can’t tell if the one lonely comment is brilliant mockery on just plain dumbassery.
Because Katie’s a girl! Hahahaha! Now get me a beer.
Okay, to hone my feminist cred some more – let me state here that I don’t think KabukiKatie is a stoopid moran because she’s doesn’t have a PENIS. I think she’s an idiotic tool because of
That’s no mistake. Palin is doing her bit to stick it to the liberals.
She knows we’re unable to look away from her incoherent bouts of on-camera rambling. She chose the background on purpose to force us to watch turkeys getting slaughtered, knowing the sight would would damage our delicate, citified sensibilities and ruin our Thanksgiving dinners.
The joke is on us.
Hmm,what would Freud say about a person that deliberatly seeks to annoy people (real and imagined) only to then cry about it in fits of masochistic ecstasy?Would Freud suggest that perhaps she wants to be attacked?
I have to then wonder what Freud would say about her post which,in neocon fashion,is typically dense and impenetrable(replete with bullshit references to pschoanalaysis).Perhaps he would say it reflects a narcissistic worldview,one that assumes that recieving “hate mail’ is only experienced by those good natured souls on the right.Have I mentioned Freud enough?Will someone please page Dr Freud!
Hmm,what would Freud say about a person…
He/she wants to fuck their mother/father. It’s what he said about everything.
Patient 1: I have these irrational thoughts of suicide.
Freud: You want to fuck your mother. That’s gross.
Patient 2: I’m afraid of heights.
Freud: You want to fuck your father. That’s gross.
P3: I obsess over cleaning, I wash my hands a hundred times a day.
Freud: You want to fuck your mother. That’s gross.
P4: I want to fuck my mother. It’s really fucking gross.
Freud: You want to fuck your father. That’s gross.
I dunno, maybe Sigmund had a really hot mom or something.
“The disappointing news to those of who think that nonsense gets under his skin, it doesn’t.”
the swank is strong with this one! she is not disappointing news to those of who think more wingnuts, should be only semi-coherent!
I went there and posted that her actions, far from stickin’ it to da librul MAN, made her look like a pretentious dork in the eyes of this former bookstore employee, and that the most effect she’d have, if she was lucky, would be becoming someone’s stupid customer story. (Truth is, I don’t think it would have even gotten to that.)
It got scrubbed. No shock there.
How adolescent. The arrested behavioral development is really icky.
Mooser, what on earth did you say? She’s a tiny bit annoyed with you right now
I offered her financial help. I could very easily clear a good portion of her consumer debt, at least. But she seems to be very, very paranoid about people “fishing for financial information”. I also mentioned that when I asked for advice about how much help to give her, I was advised that the post on her weblog could very well indicate one long credit fraud. Basically, they were borrowing money they knew damn well they could not pay back. That would not encourage the “debt forgiveness” she is seeking. She seems to be quite obtuse and intransigent.
You just can’t help some people. Funny thing is, she keeps on volunteering information and then accusing me of “fishing for it”.
She might have some character problems. I certainly do, but I still try to live within my means, and we never, never take on debt we don’t damn well know how we can pay back, within foreseeable circumstances.
What’s up with Jonah’s book being on display on a table in the “center” of the store?
Ever heard the term “publisher’s remainders”?
Kabuki Girl:
There are so many possibilities here, I am overwhelmed – left awestruck and mute.
.
What’s up with Jonah’s book being on display on a table in the “center” of the store?
Ever heard the term “publisher’s remainders”?
Not far from the truth, Mooser.
Having been in this particular store frequently, let me describe the layout:
It’s sort of L-shaped, with a narrow rectangular entranceway as you first walk in. That’s where the featured works are.
Why? Because there are an awful lot of people who pass the store on the way to their commuter trains home and they grab-n-buy. So the newest fiction, particularly, the new paperbacks, are displayed. Gobs of them: racks, tables, displays.
When you step to your left, the next big rack of books are the Times’ bestsellers, and the store’s bestsellers (Jonah’s book never EVER made this rack).
Beyond that are the books that people buy to look pretentious…you know, anything by Harold Bloom, for example, or the latest screed by (insert random former Bush administration official here).
NOW we come to the remainder table, which is, curiously, smack in the geographical center of the store. Usually, these are former Times’ bestsellers that never quite made it to Posner’s best seller rack, that they ended up buying way too many copies of.
It was here that I purchased Robin Cook’s latest novel.
Actor212: Um, how “East Coast elitist liberal” could Granny be if she has a subscription to the National Review?
That’s not necessarily diagnostic. For instance, maybe Grampy was the subscriber, or maybe she just subscribed in the “know your enemy” mode – to balance out her Harper’s and Nation subscriptions.
.
KabukiKate: Confession time…I do love National Review. It has been a consistent voice in my life for as long as I can remember.
Translation: I was indoctrinated early by Conservative Maoists.
.
Ooh! She is mad! Just can’t help some people! Well, like she says, we are all in a life boat, and there’s a weight-limit.
She went through every liberal trope, didn’t she, in her addendum. It’s not our fault, we’re trying, it’s our genes, what done it (for chrisake!) we give, give, give. It’s enough to make you sick. She seems totally unaware that the same rules and conditions she promolgates for everyone else, applies to her.
Most of all, she seems completely unaware that anything you put on the internet that is not password protected can be read by anyone, and people may react in ways you don’t expect, or like. And if you ask for money, people might just offer you some. I don’t know why that bothers her so much.
Oh, and look, she seems to have gotten my yahoo e-mail shut down.
This: “the Patchouli smelling anti-social moonbat”
+
This: “They can not stomach the diversity of our people, ideas, backgrounds and lifestyles”
= Comedy Gold
I mean, the whole thing is comedy gold, but I love it when they pepper their victimhood screeds by victimizing others in the same way they believe they are victimized.
It has been a consistent voice in my life for as long as I can remember.
Having learned from bitter experience, I want to advise KabukiKate that it is really not such a good idea to tell other people about the voices.
UPDATE! KabukiKatie writes back.
Actually, for a conservatard, a pretty good response. Good on you Katie. Just one minor nitpick – you use the term The Angry Left. If the toxic contents of your Inbox are as advertised, perhaps this is an appropriate usage – but let me remind you that the tagline for your blog is:
That’s not necessarily diagnostic. For instance, maybe Grampy was the subscriber, or maybe she just subscribed in the “know your enemy” mode – to balance out her Harper’s and Nation subscriptions.‘
I could only base my statement on what KazookiKate wrote. I can’t be responsible for her being a horrible reporter. I had to assume her statement about Granny “throwing her copy of NR” was fully descriptive.
Given her description of Granny’s anathemic reaction to anything conservative, it seems unlikely that Granny was all that interested in what the right wing was talking about.
Except to hear Bill Buckley overclock his thesaurus.
ps…One drawback of the evening was Long’s observance of the constant vacuuming by the HA crew….and I mean constant. For the remainder of the trip I could not walk past a crewman vacuuming without giggling which I am sure seemed odd to them. When I arrived home, I promptly put my vacuum in the corner.”
So KabukiKate thinks its OK to mock overworked staffers on a ship that’s clearly understaffed in a capitalist-approved manner of getting as much productivity out of as little personnel as possible.
Interesting.
I’ve taken cruises. The crew works hard, really hard. The cruise is pricey, but the staff appears to see very little of it.
I was talking to a bartender. In the day, he’d work the breakfast buffet (6:30 AM) man the gangplanks at port (9-5:30 or so) and then be back at the bar by 6 in order to serve drinks until 1AM.
You couldn’t hire an American to do that kind of schedule, and these folks are not paid particularly brilliantly (which is why they live on tips).
And yet, Katie mocked them.
Interesting.
Actually, for a conservatard, a pretty good response.
Yea, but I couldn’t leave it alone, lefty that I am… 😉
“And yet, Katie mocked them.”
I would think this to be SOB for all the overprivileged wingnut welfare cases sick enough to qualify for the trip.
Haha! Hell sure is funny! Hey, check out that babe over there, she’s good-lookin’ as shit!
But…but…I gave her that vacuum…
Together we…we…
…we named her…Baby. I thought she loved Baby…
NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER!!!1!!!1!1
“And yet, Katie mocked them.”
If by “yet” you mean “therefore”, you got it.
actor212:
You never read the account of last year’s cruise, did you? These people have serious, serious entitlement issues. The nicest thing they could possibly say about the cruise staff is “good thing I’m not them”. If you want a good example, google “Cory the Driller” — he was some dude was trying to set himself up before the election as another “Joe” the “Plumber”, and he sent around a widespread email forward (you can read it on MyRightwingDad) that got him interviewed on Fox News. He actually bragged about skipping college because he was “ready to take on the world” and slagged employees who dared ask for a decent wage to work for him. Triple Cory’s salary and put him in a business suit, you get the sort of person who would go on the National Review cruise.
Mooser, Your email? Wow! Just wow.
Yeah, we live carefully too, don’t take on debt we can’t afford, try to put money in the savings account every single paycheck, etc. and I despise people who think rules are for everyone else. I had enough of that when my youngest was a cheerleader in HS and one of the other cheer moms had that as her personal motto.
I looked at that link to Kabuki Katie’s comments and all I can say is, she thinks the Left is angry? Those people have spikes on ’em. I almost posted something to that effect but I’ve already had my daily run-in with a jerk who emailed me something nasty through my profile, after I asked him to stop shouting (posting everything in bold and large letters) about Obama’s birth certificate.
I have to say that I’m surprised to hear that Katie’s not only married but has children. Now I wonder if she went on the cruise without her husband, because I didn’t spot him in any of her photos and she was sure talking like scary fan girl about some of the stars of NR.
BrianX, that guy you mentioned just makes me hurt. My youngest worked as an entertainer on a 4-day Disney cruise last year so we had to go and see her dance. She was worked pretty hard too, 60 to 80 hours a week (because she got into every show she auditioned for after she was hired to be Alice during the day), but it was worse for our cabin steward and the waiters on the ship. They were all so good to us and so nice, and we talked to all of them about their homes and families. We had a great time even though our kids are grown and we don’t have any grandchildren yet. (And our towel monkey was better than hers.)
Oh, that Cory the Driller Miller. What a yutz. I saw that a couple of months ago and wanted to gag.
Mark Steyn explains the genius of Gov. Palin’s turkey farm interview.
J
At least it wasn’t a turkey drop. Oh the humanity!
Congrats on the (possible) first satire of those freecreditreport.com commercials. “Hey poor guy! Go to our site!” Who thinks this stuff up?
At the risk of sounding like a nitpicker, Kabuki theatre is an all-male thing. Every role, including the females, is played by males only. Which makes me wonder if Freak Scene Katie doesn’t have something else that she is reluctant to tell and yet Freudian-slipping to reveal…
At the risk of sounding like a nitpicker
No need for hesitation or excuses. We celebrate and encourage pedantry here.