Inside the scary mind of Andy McCarthy
It’s good to see that Obama’s victory hasn’t made Andy McCarthy any less insane. Witnesseth:
INCONVENIENT FACT: THE IRAQIS DON’T LIKE US
[…]
Thousands of American lives and hundreds of billions in taxpayer funds have been expended to provide Iraqis the opportunity to live freely. And this despite the facts that (a) the U.S. interest in Iraqi democracy remains tenuous (our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime), and (b) Americans were assured, when the nation-building enterprise commenced, that oil-rich Iraq would underwrite our sacrifices on its behalf. Yet, to be blunt, the Iraqis remain ingrates. That stubborn fact complicates everything.
Of all the weird beliefs that neoconservatives have, the weirdest by far is the idea that foreigners should actually enjoy having their countries invaded and occupied. I mean come on, ungrateful Iraqis, only it’s not like anyone has been killed during this glorious liberation! Christ, the way these whiny jerks tell it, you’d think that millions of them had been forced to flee their homes and that millions more have been forced to live without access to potable drinking water!
Shorter shorter: This was supposed to hurt me a lot more than it hurt you…
I tried billing the concierge of the Marriot in Salt Lake City for the shit-smeared duvet on the bed, the bottles of cum in the mini-bar, the raped maid and the dead bellhop in the bathtub, but the guy just looked at me as if I were crazy.
Fucking ingrate.
Of all the weird beliefs that neoconservatives have, the weirdest by far is the idea that foreigners should actually enjoy having their countries invaded and occupied.
I don’t know Brad, thinking that a country after having being bombed and and occupied will be so grateful that they’ll do anything Washington tells them out love of freedom is pretty weird too.
I can’t understand why the Iraqis wold be so pissed. Bush didn’t destroy their country any worse than he did America. The big difference is that over there, the damage was immediately visible while over here we’re only starting to see it.
You don’t see us being ungrateful, do you now?
Oh. IC. Never mind.
Defense of Democracies Foundation Senior Fellow?
For reals?
Guess it just doesn’t mean what it used to.
Imagine a perfect world where the point of imagination is simultaneous with action .
Now imagine that jerk who looked at us funny who lives up the hill .
Now any rational thoughtful kind hearted person would at minimum annihilate the entire family .
A more serious person would incinerate all traces of life , and charge the neighbors .
It is just another M C Escher dynamic in relationships , no background no foreground only irrational action .
Iraq is a center-right country!
Plus, fuck WordPress in teh ear.
Shorter shorter: the bloody wogs are always such ingrates.
Yep. And the decendants of African slaves should be grateful that Europeans went to the trouble and expense of taking them on a cruise from nasty heathen old Africaland to the lovely Christian shores of RealAmerica.
[Sigh] Brown people are just SOOOO inconsiderate!
Man, I liked him so much better in Weekend at Bernies and Mannequin.
[Shakes fist at Sarah Palin]
Man, I liked him so much better in Weekend at Bernies and Mannequin.
Or sitting on Edgar Bergen’s knee.
Yep. And the decendants of African slaves should be grateful that Europeans went to the trouble and expense of taking them on a cruise from nasty heathen old Africaland to the lovely Christian shores of RealAmerica.
You calling Soulja Boy Tell em (.com) an ingrate?
“Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa.” — Soulja Boy, last month
Once a long time ago when I had a little more, er, difficulty with my anger issues I beat a guy into a coma in roseville with a jack handle.
Y’know, to THIS day the fucking ingrate is still angry with me.
There’s just no pleasing some people…
mikey
“Just find it in your heart to like us”
Yossarian wanted to laugh confidently when he saw with amazement that Colonel Korn was telling the truth. “That isn’t going to be too easy,” he sneered.
I call fake Sarah Palin.
I’m sure she has never said “wog” unless it had just been fed to her by John McCain, Phil Gramm or Ted Stevens.
Perhaps if Andy read this accurately:
he’d understand why the darkies are sooooooooooo ungrateful.
Fixed yer post, Andy!
Once a long time ago when I had a little more, er, difficulty with my anger issues I beat a guy into a coma in roseville with a jack handle.
Y’know, to THIS day the fucking ingrate is still angry with me.
And all you were trying to do was knock some sense into him, instead of forcing him to get up each morning with one hand on either side of the bed rail!
Da noive!
I think we should all descend on McCarthy’s house, trash his furniture, torture and rape his family, then burn the house to the ground. Then we should ask him to thank us for it.
The funny thing is that even ol’ good vs. evil, white vs. black, aristocrat vs. cockney JRR Tolkien himself didn’t believe the orcs of Mordor would welcome liberation. And the men of Mordor were only happy when the Gondorians left them alone to farm. (And that was the winner’s historical account.)
Which is to say, neo-con ideology is so morally simplistic, it’s like a15-year old boy’s hackwork fantasy novel, starring Rand’rew Carty and the sensual elf-queen Syra P’lin.
I think we should all descend on McCarthy’s house, trash his furniture, torture and rape his family, then burn the house to the ground. Then we should ask him to thank us for it.
Judging by his overbite, I’m not sure he’d notice.
I call fake Sarah Palin.
I’m sure she has never said “wog” unless it had just been fed to her by John McCain, Phil Gramm or Ted Stevens.
Indeed. She would have said “gook.”
Is it an overbite? I thought he was just missing an upper lip. There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps.
the sensual elf-queen Syra P’lin
You people are really working at making me want to throw up today.
What’d I ever do to you?
Yet, to be blunt, the Iraqis remain ingrates.
Oh, please tell me Xmas came early this year and he actually wrote that line.
And those ungrateful Native Americans! I mean, come on, the settlers gave them everything — smallpoxy blankets, long walks on the prairie, small plots of land. Oh, and Jebus. Aren’t they grateful for Jebus? Aren’t the Iraqis grateful for Jebus? You’d think, wouldn’t you?
Yay White Man’s Burden!
Whatever those E-rockies are dealin with, it ain’t mega-herds of rabid pelicans!!!
some sort of fish, perhaps.
Must… resist… puns… about… ‘groper’…
So Frum is also now out at NR? I hope he turns off the lights as he exits so that McCarthy and Goldberg et. al. won’t be able to find their way out.
“our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime”
Huh? Weapons proliferating? What weapons did he have to proliferate?
Clearly. Especially the “fellow” part.
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Walleye.
I was trying to be kind, you know, as a liberal should.
terror-mongering
I have only just met this word but I hate it already. Surely there are more poetic alternatives.
If there were fears to sell,
What would you buy?
Some cost a passing bell;
Some a light sigh.
(our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime)
Which Saddam was this? Definitely wasn’t the Walter Matthau lookalike that the troops dug out of a hole.
Extra Shorter Andy McCarthy:
“I can’t believe how ungrateful all those dead Iraqis are. They should rise from the grave and kiss GWB’s feet.”
These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
“And why aren’t these fuckers paying for the bullets we put in their children’s heads? INCONSIDERATE!”
There’s really no ends to their depravity, is there? I mean, that kind of opinion is what the Onion used to write a ridiculous parody of a right-winger, and now, there’s an actual one writing it in their little newsletter.
Apparently he didn’t get the memo:
Hm, I could swear I heard differently but I’m probably wrong.
I like how the fact that there was no post-war planning, no real ideas about nation-building, has just vanished down the memory hole. You see, we did our bestest in Iraq, and the reason it didn’t work is that the Iraqis are ingrates. So what if we blew grandma up? It was for a just cause!
“Hm, I could swear I heard differently but I’m probably wrong.”
Those are old truths. They’re stale now. You need to get some of the fresh ones Andy’s got.
Mark : These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
You say that as though it’s a bad thing. Not to put too fine a point on it but there are some around here who proudly claimed that title long ago.
Also, what the fuck happened to preview? I just noticed it’s missing! Whoever took it please return it immediately so that I may continue to ignore it.
Ingrate! If people didn’t make you throw up with gut churning imagery of Manshrew McKarthy making the beast of backfat his frozen elf goddess you’d have to exercise to burn off the calories of the food you ate!
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps.
Blobfish. Definitely.
Ingrate! If people didn’t make you throw up with gut churning imagery of Manshrew McKarthy making the beast of backfat his frozen elf goddess you’d have to exercise to burn off the calories of the food you ate!
See, now I’m really considering trying to write a fantasy novel as written by a conservative Mary-Sue…
I reckon it’d sell like crazy, ’cause the Repubs would never catch on that I was laughing at them. The only problem would be the moral quandry about whether to accept all that cash from stupid deluded Republican dorks…
Ha ha, not really. Gimme that money, Jonah!
Maybe a sheepfish?
Must… resist… puns… about… ‘groper’…
Behold, the self-redacting blogosphere.
Walleye
Yes, something like that. Toothfish also crossed my mind, as did gobies. I suppose any lipless monstrosity will have some resemblance.
On reloading, blobfish is perfect. Jesus Mary Joseph that is one butt-ugly fish.
“FreepQuest: Champion of the Holy Bush”
Chapter 1 of a multi-part trilogy
by me, who should be given money by Republicans
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a noble young hero named Jumbo McManchowder, who had a noble goatee and a very rigid sword and he owned the local franchise for cheese snacks for the entire kingdom. His mother loved him very, very much, but that’s okay, because sons should always love their mothers. Sometimes with their penises.
Jumbo was busy manning the gates against evil brown orcs and swishy elves when he was called before the Empress Michelle. “Noble Jumbo!” she said, her pert nostrils flaring with lust and rage, and her Chinese-lookin’ eyes were totally hot, even if it meant she wasn’t actually white, “I charge you to embark upon a holy quest to destroy the Evil Lord and Lady Klinton-Hitler. But first, you must plunder my nether-regions!”
So far, so good. This writing stuff is so easy, and I’m gonna be so rich… 🙂
Mr. McCarthy:
“Thousands of American lives and hundreds of billions in taxpayer funds have been expended to provide Iraqis the opportunity to live freely.”
Suggested edit: Substitute ‘die’ for ‘live’. This clarifies the intent of the sentence and explains why, as asserted, the Iraqis ‘don’t like us’.
the flesh of the blobfish is primarily a gelatinous mass with a density slightly less than water […] The relative lack of muscle is not a disadvantage as it primarily swallows edible matter that floats by in front of it.
Tragically, this is also a good description of my own lifestyle.
Fuck you WordPress! Give me my comment back!
Personally I think we should just replace all the conservative pundits in the country with blobfish.
At least you’d know up front what you were dealing with.
Maybe a sheepfish?
Fucking WordPress.
Third try’s the charm?
http://flickr.com/photos/terry_mercer/2980477822/ sheepfish?
Fucking WordPress.
Damn you to hell, WordPress. Three tries and you eat it every time. FOAD
It’s already been done
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Well, it wouldn’t be a piranha. That’s a severe underbite.
Damn you, Spinrad! How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!
“How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!”
Write for Regenery, silly!
One last desperate attempt to comment. WordPress has eaten my last four attempts. So, without link, google “bucktoothed fish sheepshead.” Follow the top lonk to flickr.
argargharghagrhrghagrhgh
Damn you, Spinrad! How is a talentless hack like me supposed to catch a break!
My favorite comment about The Iron Dream was some idjut fanboy who remarked that it was a really great adventure story but wondered why Spinrad had to muck it up with all that Hitler stuff.
These people are truly the premier cocksuckers on the planet.
(Pssst! You wouldn’t happen to know how I could get in touch with them, wouldya?).
“I charge you to embark upon a holy quest to destroy the Evil Lord and Lady Klinton-Hitler. But first, you must plunder my nether-regions!”
May I?
“She sat athwart his rigid tool and after much fumbling and cursing, managed to find enough of it to slip into her silky nether-regions, all while cursing the evil Frosts of Graemewood.”
It’s a poor sign for a country when an powerful minority go on a spending spree that they cannot afford, along with other financial recklessness, and then demand redistribution of wealth from a president with an arab middle name (not to mention links to terrorists).
Strangely, I’m guessing the word “oil” appears nowhere in Andy’s little emo-fest … yep, “oil-rich” is as close as he dares tread to the OTHER evil O-Word … I’m also guessing that “Iraq’s larval government” isn’t coming out of its cocoon any time soon – not when there’s so much easily available Yankee lolly to be had … yet another BushCo bonus Americans will be a long time paying down.
On the minus side, they weren’t there at all until thousands of US troops arrived & started helping them to recruit young people who’d just seen their families butchered by heavy bombing. Once Bush executed Bin Laden’s death-warrant on Hussein (via the proxy Iraq “larva”), the field was wide-open for him – with an enemy like Bush, Al-Quaeda hardly needs friends.
The devil’s in the details, Andy.
Turns out a few million of them now live freely – or rather, STARVE freely – someplace other than Iraq – because they face certain death if they try to go home … or because they literally have no home to go to, having had it subjected to America’s DU-tipped “Urban Renewal” policy at the barrel of a cannon.
Somewhere around a million of them just plain don’t live at all, freely or otherwise – c/o that same “Urban Renewal” scheme that’s done so much good – for SAIC, Blackwater & Halliburton.
Andy McCarthy’s commentary sounds exactly like he looks.
No nastier statement need be made.
then demand redistribution of wealth from a president with an arab middle name
I don’t think “Walker” is Arabic.
He’s whining the dead and wounded aren’t clapping loud enough and therefore he is being victimized.
“premier cocksuckers on the planet.”
Really, what did cocksuckers ever do to you?
I mean, er…
What do you have against cock sucking?
In the NYU Local is the article headlined:
Center-Right Nation Elects Terrorist-Loving Socialist Out of Fear of Change
Warning: contains the word fuck, so don’t click if you don’t want to see the word fuck.
This should be a ‘appy occasion!
Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.
In the NYU Local is the article headlined:
They changed the name of the Washington Square News????
*tearing up alumni check*
There’s some animal he looks like, but I can’t place it… some sort of fish, perhaps
Puffer?
What never ceases to amaze me is that some of these are the same people who whine about all us evil seclarists waging a war on Christmas and persecuting the overwhelming Christian majority in this country, and they mention not a whit about the fact that 1/3 of Iraq’s pre-war Christian minority has had to flee the country. Now that’s what real anti-Christian persecution is and these conservatives don’t seem to give a shit about it.
Jumbo McManchowder rose from the Empress’ bed as the sated hottie slumbered. Donning his fur jockstrap and enameled armor, and girding the scabbard of his ensorceled blade Gaybasher, he strode from the bedchamber, his hobnailed sandals sending sharp reports across the marble floor. Making his way through the vaulted halls of the imperial palace, he entered the stables where his mighty steed Porche awaited. Quickly saddling the magnificent stallion, he burst through the palace gates, his war cry splitting the air around him.
“Country first!”
Being of middle eastern descent myself, and knowing many other Middle Eastern people, we all knew the invasion was a bad idea and that Iraq would not be grateful. Did anyone from the White House even ASK someone from the region what would happen? Did they even look at a history book and see that Middle Eastern people generally dislike, don’t get along, and use for their own ends, any type of foreign intervention? I mean, lets look at their experience: 1. World War II: that went great for the Arabs. 2. Israel: Yep, the Middle East sure loved it when all the Western powers made a new state in their home area, based on a religion already disliked by the region, and gave it all the important religious sites and a bunch of a weapons. Real considerate. 3. Iran: “Thanks US, for pretending to be our friend, then stabbing us in the back! Now we have a religious government you don’t like, but they are there because of you engineered the collapse of our democracy you helped us make for English oil interest!”
“our interest was the elimination of Saddam’s terror-mongering, weapons-proliferating regime”
He must mean the 10 flyable aircraft the Iraqi Air Force had on any given day. The ones they didn’t even bother to put in the air when we invaded.
Did anyone from the White House even ASK someone from the region what would happen?
They asked Ahmed Chalabi.
McCarthy looks like Jeebs from Men in Black. You can see him beginning at 1:45:
Chalabi said everything would be flowers and candy and everyone would get a pony.
Plus I believe he told Bush that he had trillions of dollars frozen in an account in Iraq and was willing to share it with him, but he couldn’t get to it while Saddam was still in power, and also I’ll need your checking information you seem like a trustworthy gentleman, in the name of Jesus sincerely Ahmed CHALABI
Johnny Pez, that’s some good writing but I notice that there were a few nouns that didn’t have adjectives. Plus most of your adjectives could do with some adverbs.
Consider:
Making his way through the vaulted halls of the imperial palace, he entered the stables where his mighty steed Porche awaited.
vs
Arrogantly making his manly way through the majestically vaulted halls of the stone-hewn imperial palace, he boldly strode into the dimly lit earthen packed stables where his incomparably mighty steed Porche awaited impatiently.
also http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/sf/eyeargon/eyeargon.htm
This is
notis too a post