Last week, Gavin (or as I call him, “G-Spot”) and I were talking about how darn funny our readers are.

It’s true- you guys are the most hilarious group of commenters of any blog out there (excepting World O’ Crap, which is basically Sadly, No!’s regulars plus Antichrist S. Coulter).

So in tribute to our readers, I’m posting the best material you guys have sent us over the last week. Enjoy!

First, here’s the estimable Ms. Vestal Vespa, who has written a brilliant sestina(!!) to Kaye Grogan:

A Sestina for Kaye Grogan

Kaye, Grogan, who can’t properly place a comma,
Kaye, Grogan, who mixes metaphors like a Cuisinart.
Once you were pictured with your horrible hair.
Before the image of wild jungle cats.
Oh, Kaye, you picture a world surrounded by scare “quotes.”
Your writing makes even Peggy Noonan cry.

But even for RenewAmerica you have horrible hair,
You publish “columns” with the most unnecessary of commas,
You would put “My Life” into your Cuisinart
And blend it with tuna until, fluffy, to feed your cats.
You used the word “Pasty” for “Patsy” and made me cry.
But still you can’t find the right place for your “quotes.”

Kaye, Grogan, you are so frightening with your horrible hair,
You say you are a photographer, but I think that should probably be in “quotes.”
You equate taxation to slavery but you paid tax on your Cuisinart.
Kaye, Grogan, your grim mug shot is enough to scare my cats.
I would like to pelt you with your unneeded little commas,
I would like to hit you with them until you start to cry.

Your tangled metaphors would choke the heartiest Cuisinart.
Kaye, Grogan! Your tangential arguments are enough to curl my hair!
I simply fail to see the logic you ascribe to your placement of “quotes,”
You torment the soul of the inventor of the comma.
When you try to reason your incoherence makes Socrates cry.
Trying to follow your columns is much like herding cats.

Kaye, Grogan, of Virginia, a state of much horrible hair,
We suspect it is rubber cement that makes you use random “quotes”
Holy Jesus snot, giver of inspiration, it makes you use random commas,
And tells you to put your hand into the Cuisinart
Do it Kaye! Do it or else baby Jesus will cry!
The noise is like a thousand screaming cats.

Kaye, Grogan, you speak of the “Koran Bible” and put it into “quotes,”
The glue may soon cause you to lose your horrible hair.
But one day, all will be gone, into the mushy pulp in the Cuisinart.

Touching (and from the looks of it, time-consuming).

Next up is a mysterious reader known only as “agrippa_cash.” He/she has developed a series of wingnut personal ads for our enjoyment:

And last but not least, the infamous Yosef sent us this fucked-up cat picture, presumably because he hates us:

*shudder*

Well, that’s all the reader mail for this week. If you’ve got something funny to contribute, pass it along, and I’ll be sure to highlight it in a future post!