Place Your Bets!

Who will be the first Townhall columnist to blame the Michael Jackson acquittal on either the decline of traditional values or Bill Clinton’s penis?

I call Ben Shapiro.

UPDATE: My dad writes, “Now he can spend his life searching for ‘the real molester.'”


Comments: 19


I’ll go with Cal Thomas. He’s always up for a good traditional values lecture.


It won’t be Mike Adams, for he’ll be talking about some irrelevant minor university administrator as always.


Amber Pawlik will be so disappointed. She was planning him for her next barbecue.

And…. your Dad oughta be blogging with that sensahuma.


And…. your Dad oughta be blogging with that sensahuma.

Heh. Well, my dad’s a pretty hardcore conservative, but yeah, he’s pretty funny.


Kathleen Parker!


5 bucks on Ann Coulter, blaming it on the Clenis.


I dunno about “first”, but I’m betting Pastor Doug will have a hell of a Clash Point. I’d also put money on it being almost as incoherent as it is offensive, but that’s pretty much a gimme.


My money is on Star Parker


Brad, you forgot the third possibility: both!

You see, the Clenis is responsible for the decline of traditional values.


Oh, and I gotta go with Kathleen Parker.


I say Malkin. She is a part of the Blame Hollywood First crowd.


I’m going to take the longshot here and say Thomas Sowell, and he will blame it on secularism, liberalism, and the nanny state which won’t allow you to sell your kidneys.

P.S. I just scrolled throuh about 350 posts about the verdict at, and at least 25 of them made the same joke as your Dad. I call it the new conservative meme! 😉


Michael Jackson acquittal? What are you talking about? He was on trial for something? Are you talking about the singer?


By the way, I exclusively use My Yahoo to come to this site now.


SZ- Yeah, but my dad e-mailed it to me right after the verdict, so he has (I think) the benefit of originality here.


You know, TBogg picked a hell of a week for a vacation. I don’t think that this blog and World o’Crap can handle the snark that will be required in a few days. Stand back, everybody…She’s gonna blow!


My money’s on Annie.
(BTW…how did she manage to evade the evil pie-wielder without breaking one of those twig-legs?)


My money’s on Annie.
(BTW…how did she manage to evade the evil pie-wielder without breaking one of those twig-legs?)

Well, like others of her kind, she’s actually got an exoskeletal system that she has to painstakingly spray each morning with Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs to fit in among her human coworkers. She’s tough to break.


Smart money’s on Dennis Humbert Humbert Prager. The real question in my mind is: how will he fit his own self-loathing and misogyny for being attracted to 13 year old girls in his condemnation of Michael Jackson? If MJ had molested little girls, he could just say that “the real criminals are those slutty 13 year olds wearing skirts so short that you can almost see the flash of delicious delicious panty as they walk up the stairs you’re hiding under”, but somehow I don’t see that working for boys.

And yes, of course it’s Clinton’s fault, though with Ann Coulter I think she’d be more likely to try to pin it on Jimmy Carter. But if they managed to blame Watergate on Clinton (see, deep throat is a euphemism for blowjob, and Clinton invented blowjobs), they can figure out how to pin this one on him.


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