New AlterNet piece up
I’ve got a new AlterNet piece up about the biggest non-game changing moments that did not shape the 2008 election. Sarah Palin made the list. Excerpt:
The Desperate Right’s Five Biggest Flops of the 2008 Election
[…]
Palin’s problems began when she stopped reading from a script and started talking with reporters. Palin had trouble answering hard-hitting questions such as what newspapers and magazines she read (“All of them!”) and whether she could name a Supreme Court case that she had ever disagreed with. Even more worrisome was her claim that living in close proximity to Russia gave her invaluable foreign policy experience because “as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there.” And who could forget Palin’s assertion that the government’s $700 billion Wall Street bailout plan would “help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy.” Also, the bailout was proof that “we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing” and that “reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americas.”
[…]
If the McCain campaign really thought that Palin could win over former female Clinton supporters, then they must think that female voters are some of the stupidest people on the planet. Memo to the GOP: Millions of people flocked to Clinton in the primaries because of her intellect and her wonky passion for bread-and-butter economic issues such as universal health care. She cannot be easily replaced by a woman whose chief accomplishment so far in life has been eating a moose.
Plz read whole thing. Kthxbai.
If the McCain campaign really thought that Palin could win over former female Clinton supporters, then they must think that female voters are some of the stupidest people on the planet.
The GOP is mainly familiar with female GOP voters, which could explain their low estimation problem.
For example.
Hard hitting questions like: “What papers do you read?” and “Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?”
Reporter: “Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?”
Palin: No, I shave.
Nice article. There were so many great stupid flops to choose from, though. I’d like to see a follow-up article with appropriate mockery of “GOP TIRE GAUGES AKA OBAMA’S ENERGY PLAN LOL.” Man, did that idea die off quickly.
Excellent article. I watched that Fox News post mortem that you linked to (via C&L), and I just have to wonder: How long will Shepard Smith hold onto his job at Fox? Amid all the schadenfreudy goodness of the Carl Cameron report, I think my favorite piece was when Smith points out that according to Fox poll analysts, Obama’s final surge to leadership in the polls began four days before the Wall St. meltdown — on the day after the Couric interview. Which contradicts the McPalin campaign li(n)e that Grampy woulda won if it weren’t for them meddlin’ financial crises.
Apparently, “yes” and “hell yeah.”
Of course, if you double the average IQ of the male Republican, we’re still not reaching comfortable triple digit range. Women, who in their estimation are not even that smart, but simply react to the presence of the vee-jay-jay with Instant Sisterhood and the sure and certain knowledge that its possessor will oppress them in the way they are used to, but will at least acknowledge their suffering.
I suppose if one is a Republican woman, one is used to taking what one can get, in every circumstance.
Poor mistreated Sarah.
From ThinkProgress:
Defending the purchase of her fancy, expensive clothes during the campaign, she claimed, “I never asked for anything more than maybe a Diet Dr. Pepper once in a while.”
All she wanted was a Pepsi, and they wouldn’t give it to her! Just a Pepsi..
Great column! I’m sure there were more events, but you nailed the top five!
I just watched President-elect B. Hussein Obama’s* presser again just to have the thrill of watching the top guy talk in complete, coherent sentences. Blessed relief indeed.
Also, I think they should get a Dalmation.
*That’s the only way to refer to him – it annoys the shit out of the whingers.
Palin was nearly successful in fulfilling her role as puppet of the patriarchy: She subsumed her identity for the sake of of her male superior, she looked good enough to fuck, and, when necessary, she attracted enough attention to increase the man’s odds in his mighty power grab. However, having failed to close the deal, she is now being devoured by those who cynically picked her in the first place, and for many of the very reasons for which she was chosen. Could have seen this coming this coming since the Couric interview.
The issue about the dog is that he or she must be hypoallergenic. So any helpful suggestions, such as the one urging the Obama’s to adopt a shelter cat, must take that into consideration.
The oldest daughter has allergies.
However, I don’t see any reason why a full search of the many shelters in this country could not turn up a mix of the proper genes and age. Poodles, Bichons, and possibly wire-haired varieties fit their criteria.
Also, whatever they get, I would urge them to feed a BARF (bones and raw food) diet, as this has been shown to even further lower the dog’s allergenic proteins.
As an animal advocate, this turn of events warms my heart. The little girls were probably promised the “world.” Anything they wanted.
And what they wanted, was a dog.
PeeJ: I saw this morning the Obamas are considering a poodle or Portuguese water dog because those breeds are “low allergen” pups. I hope so — my late doggy Willy was a poodle-Portuguese water dog mix (like Barry X, I’m fond of shelter mutts) — had him for 15 wonderful years until this last summer. Yes he was black and white!
She subsumed her identity for the sake of of her male superior, she looked good enough to fuck, and, when necessary, she attracted enough attention to increase the man’s odds in his mighty power grab.
When I watch right wing women like Palin I’m reminded of “Of Red’s” wife in “The Hand Maiden’s Tale. It’s as if they don’t see they are undermining their own interest.
I hope the Obamas will get an Azawakh hound. They have very sparse coats, little to no odor, and do best on a non-traditional diet of millet and very little meat – all of which indicate a very low-allergen dog. Plus, they are just cool as hell. I’ve been wanting to get one for several years, but have a cat who’s afraid of just about everything, so I can’t do that to her.
Fucking wordpress.
Fucking fuckety-fuck wordpress.
The real stoopid thing is that the whole suspend-the-campaign trick coulda worked. Go *immediately* to Washington (don’t do pointless interviews and let David Letterman mock you), coordinate closely and privately with the President, cabinet, and Repub members of Congress to develop a unified message, and come forth with a reasonable plan that the Dems can’t really object to. That would have been impressive, to the media at least.
The whole McCain campaign was a series of dumb fuckups, but I think that one was *the* game-changing moment. In an environment where the economy is by far the number one issue, to have failed so spectacularly (literally, McCain made a spectacle of suspending his campaign) was effectively the end of the campaign.
WTF? WTFF? Is it the link? WTF is the problem? Folks, google “Azawakh hound” to see the perfect Obama dog. It’s even built like Obama – lanky and lean. Apparently wordpress is busy fucking its mother so I’m not allowed to post a direct link.
But if you take into consideration the shrinking of their world view, they are not.
Republicans seem to have a low expression of the “cooperation gene” that results in their dog-eat-dog policies. They believe this is the way the world is, and it cannot be changed.
Thus, such women believe they cannot rise above their oppression; there is no such world. Thinking that, the only option for ambition is to rise in the niche they have been given, and as the oppressed themselves, the only heads they have to step on is other women’s.
Yes, they manipulate men, too, but as instruments of power. Men have it; women can only compete for the slices given to them as women. Since they see the pie as finite, the only way to grow their slice is to take away the slices of others.
Genetic pressure creates the Pageant Monster, of which Sarah Palin is an extraordinarily effective example. She used her sex appeal, her fertility, her coyness and her backstabbing abilities; all else was not options her world offered to women.
Which is why Republican women are so hostile to feminist appeals; such would take away the only tools they understand themselves to have.
The most amazing thing about this article is you were able to stop at five.
Re: Palin and what we used to call “fembots” in general. I don’t buy it. Please keep in mind I grew up with Phyllis Schlafly flouncing around the country declaring that a woman’s place was in the home. Uh. Wha? Then why aren’t you…?
Oooh, I get it. You’re a power hungry attention grabbing asshole!
I don’t buy it. I don’t buy the image of the female, African-American, gay, Jewish etc, etc, person siding with people who have traditionally stomped on them because they just don’t know any better. They know exactly what they’re doing: Grabbing power, money, fame while grinding the faces of other people because they like it.
Please keep in mind I also live in Maryland, home of Michael Steele who tried to pull the “Trick the dumb darkies into thinking I’m a Democrat,” TWICE.
Assholes the lot of them.
Arky:
Seconded. My mom, smart lady and all around Sweetest Woman in the World, absolutely fucking hated Sarah Palin… and she doesn’t hate ANYone. (Well, Karl Rove. She saves her hate for the really worthy ones.)
She spent a lot of time around North Dallas moms all through the ’80s, when everyone was going yuppie, and she never fit in with those people… she found them (correctly) to be vain, ignorant, arrogant bullies. That is exactly how Sarah Palin came off to her: a thoroughly unpleasant yuppie driven by ambition, unfettered by moderation or empathy.
I have a hard time believing she was the only one who reacted to Palin that way.
They know exactly what they’re doing: Grabbing power, money, fame while grinding the faces of other people because they like it.
Would this be central to your point, Arky?
Republicans, explained.
All of them? She reads Bondage Life? The Daily Worker? High Times? The Arapahoe Public Mirror? The Singapore Quarterly Literary Review? Beaver Hunt?
Damn… I’m impressed.
That “Republicans explained” link is good stuff. Thanks, ittdgy.
It’s an outgrowth of my own theory of cruel behavior; when one’s environment ruthlessly suppresses empathy and compassion, the organism, driven to seek “feeling” of any kind, will find a path.
The one thing we, as organisms, find intolerable is anhedonia. Which is why it so often leads to suicide.
I agree with Eulenspiegel, it was McMansion’s stepping on his own dick with regards to the economic bailout. If he had treated it seriously, it would’ve been the first time he got out in front of Obama on an issue, instead of just reacting. McMansions tried to seize the issue of Russia vs Georgia, but Sarkozy (!) cut him short. But hey, lets not help them analyze (or learn) from their mistakes. Lets hope the same schmucks that ran this campaign also run the next one. I bestow the Shrum curse upon them.
Seconded. My mom, smart lady and all around Sweetest Woman in the World, absolutely fucking hated Sarah Palin… and she doesn’t hate ANYone. (Well, Karl Rove. She saves her hate for the really worthy ones.)
I have a hard time believing she was the only one who reacted to Palin that way.
Yep. My mom, who could easily compete for the “Sweetest Woman in the World” title, said to me the other day that she hoped she’d seen the last of Sarah Palin. She didn’t explicitly say so, but I suspect that Palin reminded her of the suburban soccer moms who are well-dressed, domineering, energetic, and total fuckups.
My mother has spent a decent part of her life working with these people on school committees, fundraising events, and the like, and she’s the one who ends up cleaning up their messes and making shit actually *work*. Plus my mom actually cares about the school or the charity in question. These people never do. They just want to be in control of something while looking like they’re doing something nice.
The worst part (from my perspective) is that they exploit people like my mom, because they know she’s actually dedicated and honest. Only in the last few years has my mother really started standing up to these people. I have the feeling that when she flipped the lever for Obama, she meant it as a big FUCK YOU to Sarah Palin–or, as she’d put it, “To heck with YOU, lady!”
Funny thing is, my mom could’ve voted for McCain. She’s somewhat conservative on the economy and national defense, though not a social conservative in the slightest. Palin may have changed her mind. I know that this sort of thing isn’t showing up in the exit polls or whatnot, and it’s nothing more than an anecdote, but there it is.
I bestow the Shrum curse upon them.
Plenty of reich-wingers are talking about Palin 2012.
I’m down with that. Let Bush-in-a-skirt finish the job that Bush begun: Destroying the rethuglican party.
Werebear:
Since they see the pie as finite, the only way to grow their slice is to take away the slices of others.
I have been pondering for years why the Reich sees equal rights as special privileges, and here you come along and explain it simply. Now I get it! Methinks I was over thinking things a wee bit.
Good piece. Read the whole thing! OT, anyone notice that the Obama victory has driven LGF into Kern Nostalgia mode, reprinting the fake/not-fake but accurate Dan Rather docs?
The Curse of the Intellect.
Though we treasure it!
All she wanted was a Pepsi, and they wouldn’t give it to her! Just a Pepsi..
LOL!
There’ll be a different kind of institution involved, depending on her crimes, but this is perfect.
She should buy a really ugly dog and name it ‘Rush’
My point about the Dalmation was, of course, the color. My own dear Vasco is a Heinz dog (57 varieties), older than dirt (16!) and still going strong.
I say this merely so people don’t get the wrong idea about my position vis a vis four-legged substitue children. Mutz rool!
Dalmatian. Dalmatian. Not Dalmation. Please.
The most hilarious thing about the entire series of attempts at media-narrating out the election was how deeply indebted Palin (and, presumably, her McCain ’08 coaches and writers) were to Republican mythography.
The VP debate was, in and of itself, a triumphal moment. As the eXile recorded, every fucking commentator praised Palin’s ostensible redemption in front of the cameras – it was supposed to be that she turned out to be surprisingly eloquent, as the RNC-written form statements reminded us for about a week and a half, as everyone from Hannity to Maddow parroted. She was supposed to acquit herself nobly in front of the cameras.
Instead? She refused to actually debate (and then refused to actually follow this asshole gesture, which could be compared to McCain promising not to let go of Obama’s connection to terrorists and then actually debating him on the issues instead), and stumbled half-conscious through a nimble, non-condescending performance by Biden. A rare, deeply human moment by one of the Senate’s more abrasive Democrats was brushed aside like a remark about a Denny’s waitress.
The media followed the script to a T, although they did have the good sense to avoid what must have been Republican instructions to go over how nasty Biden was to poor widdle Sarah. And the conservatives barked like trained seals over her inept attempt to invoke Reagan in 1980, itself one of the most retarded inside-baseball moments in politics: ‘There you go again, Joe.’ While no one moment in the debate reached “game-changer” status, I’d say the debate itself did – the fix was in from the start, and everyone outside the fucking Beltway saw the same thing: Obama’s VP turning out to be pretty OK, and McCain’s mavericky wunderkind turning out to be a condescending right-wing bully, another greasy Republican flack covered in two pounds of makeup.
And, of course, not being able to speak for shit. You want to run on hate, you make hate eloquent and subtle. Nixon animated a nation of bigots; Palin only worked as an attack dog for the most desperate racist reactionaries – and they weren’t, in spite of the narrative surrounding Obama’s Appalachian troubles, exactly swing voters in the first place.
I’m sticking with the Azawakh. They’re weird dogs, and there should be more of them.
The fact is, you still lost. You will raep the whilrwind when we regroup to take back our sacred nation, you cheated. This is the biggest scandal in history, it will come out. I hope the President declares marshall law and suspends the election results until America is in the hands of Patriots again.
As McCain says, I am Country Fist.
As Doctor Peter Venkman said “Hairless pets. Weird.”
I dunno – this might not be limited to bullies. That we enjoy other people’s suffering is a major assumption of slapstick humor, and this is how I generally explain the fact that I wind up laughing my ass off after every major accident I wind up in (recently, a nasty car-bike collision and slipping and falling out of the shower on Election Day, which I thought of immediately as karmic revenge for making an old man suffer).
Dalmatian. Dalmatian. Not Dalmation. Please.
Thank you. “Dalmatian” is one of those words that’s so frequently misspelled that when I see it spelled properly, it looks like a mistake. Like “scenario”.
Gotta run, a flying saucer just landed in the back yard and I need to chase the Martions away again.
I renounce PeeJ.
Sarah Palin is a waste of useful oxygen and protoplasm, and if there’s any justice she’ll vanish from the national consciousness in record fucking time.
If there’s no justice, she’ll reemerge on QVC, shilling for crap, and some doddering elderly aunt of mine will buy a bunch of “authentic Es-Qui-Maux, yeah you betcha” jewelry from her. And then lose her house (my aunt, not Palin).
I’m looking forward to Palin installing herself in Stevens’ Senate seat. There’s nothing left in Alaska for her to do, only scandals that will instantly disappear when she moves to suburban Virginia (good schools!). The First Dude can get a six-figure job with an oil company/lobbyist. Maybe the repunklicans will put her on the Senate Foreign Relations committee with Feingold. And you worried that ‘The Daily Show’ wouldn’t have enough raw material with an Obama administration.
Awright, awreddy, Dalamatian. What’re ya tryin ta make me feel like Sarah Palin or sumpin?
To work some poop into the thread, so to speak, the Ho and I ere talking about the dog situation. We agreed that Michelle seems like the kind of mother who would say to the kids “You wanted a puppy – you have to take care of it. The Secret Service isn’t going to do it for you and neither am I. Go walk the dog.”
The image of Maliya or Sasha scooping up poo in the Rose Garden is precious.
Huh? Jeeziz frocking christ okay okay. Dee ay ell em ay tee eye oh en.
Sarah Palin wins 364 lifetime internets, one for each electoral vote she guaranteed to a thinking nation, for winning teh alltime grand moff number-one grade AAAA grand high poobah emperor jedi master forever STOOPID contest, brought to you by Consolidated Shit Moat Sales, Inc.
Way to go, baby! You betcha!
Onto a different, less gut-wrenching funny: http://bobgeiger.blogspot.com/2008/11/saturday-cartoons_08.html
A good op-ed cartoon roundup plus a couple funny pieces from the Onion News Network.
Also, poor Smut. I see the conservatives have double-clicked on the icons of power in that neck of the woods.
Private Criserwin Wriggle-Alongside’s Vodka Muffin
Ingredients:
1 shimmering fawn, stoically buttered
4 pounds symbolic vodka
4 cans fresh milk
7 portions sad grizzly bear colon, candied
2 gallons salt
1 bunch thyme
Sacrifice a nearby gopher or a creature of similar size. Discard remains respectfully. Cream the fawn with a small mallet. Mix the vodka with the fresh milk over high heat in a jar. Stuff the resulting mixture into the fawn. Pull the grizzly bear colon, salt, and the thyme. Encrust the latter combination on to the former. Grill for 72 minutes. Serves 4.
Um, sorry.
I drank all the symbolic vodka…
mikey
Bubba’s JanusName script keeps getting better and better…
The hits just keep on comin.’
Speaking extemporaneously without vomiting or speaking in tongues, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Sarah Palin!
“We’re raised up here to to know that, um — you talk about equality? You see equality in Alaska. And so that’s a good question, because I think that was a bit of a surprise on a national level, was — what, you mean the other 49 states aren’t quite there, like Alaskans are? Well come on, follow Alaska’s lead and start allowing the equal opportunities and the equal treatment.”
Jeebus.
This woman makes George Bush look like William Shakespeare.
Not to mention her active ignorance of and outright indifference to Alaska’s many minorities.
PleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE let Palin install herself in Ted “It’s Only An Addition” Stevens’ Senate seat. Four more years of mangled sunshine-blowing subsyntax like that on the national stage and any chance she had for the GOP nomination in 2012 will be as dead as the mooseburgers in her freezer.
Apparently she can’t, legally: Alaska requires special elections.
PleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE let Palin install herself in Ted “It’s Only An Addition” Stevens’ Senate seat.
It doesn’t work that way there. They’d have an election, if Teh Hulkster gets tossed from the Senate.
Of course, the fact that Alaskans have *nearly* voted into office an 84 year old rethug who was just convicted of seven counts of felony means that if Bible Spice decided to run for Steven’s seat, she’d probably win.
Special P.S., courtesy of Nate Silver at 538.com:
lthough Ted Stevens currently holds a lead of approximately 3,200 votes in ballots counted to date in Alaska’s senate contest, there is good reason to believe that the ballots yet to be counted — the vast majority of which are early and absentee ballots — will allow Mark Begich to mitigate his disadvantage with Stevens and quite possibly pull ahead of him.
~
“Apparently she can’t, legally: Alaska requires special elections.”
Damn. I thought I read somewhere that the Alaska governor was unique among governors with the power to appoint Congressional replacemsents.
Palin in the Senate would have been high comedy…
I thought I read somewhere that the Alaska governor was unique among governors with the power to appoint Congressional replacemsents.
It’s entirely possible that Bible Spice thinks that too, and will attempt it, legal or not.
It varies state to state, but it’s not uncommon for governors have the power to appoint, so where ever you read that was wrong on both counts.
Ever wonder what the right wing bloggers are saying about Obama’s election but were too afraid to go to their websites to find out?
Fear not, intrepid lib’rals, for I took several hits for the team to give you the results.
a woman whose chief accomplishment so far in life has been eating a moose
Can we just let America’s Largest Ungulate go his peaceful, unhurried way and resume his solitary ruminations? Huh? Can we?
You are giving people the impression that “they shoot mooses, don’t they” and that is not true. Moose-hunting is very restricted. And they taste terrible. And anybody who tries taking a bite out of me will get what’s coming to them. I’ve always wanted a pair of human-hide moccasins.
That will be Palin’s legacy, the idea that any American can indiscriminately slaughter the great beast the French trappers called (with reverent awe, tinged with respect and fear) l’orignal.
Don’t help her in that.
Me, I’m waiting for the inevitable I’m-sorry-Mr.President-but-I-am-not-a-“mutt” columns from the wingnuts, extolling their genetic heritage.
Maybe even pointing out that it’s the ofay part of Obama which got him where he is today. “I am not a “mutt”, I’m a daughter of the American Revolution!” C’mon, are they gonna overlook an opportunity to embarrass them selves like that? I doubt it.
My party’s biggest mistake this election was not making the centerpiece of their platform the fact that life begins before conception. The GOP should brand itself as the “STOP MASTERBATION NOW!!” party.
As to what kind of pet your precious black Jesus should get: a badger. Think of what that sucker would do when some reporter try to pet HIM!! (heh).
I am, proudly, a mutt.
HYBRID VIGOR, BAAAAYBEEE!
We agreed that Michelle seems like the kind of mother who would say to the kids “You wanted a puppy – you have to take care of it. The Secret Service isn’t going to do it for you and neither am I. Go walk the dog.” The image of Malia or Sasha scooping up poo in the Rose Garden is precious.
Heh heh. I had the same impression, partially because Michelle reminds me a bit of my own mom–6 feet tall, and with a killer Mom Look. I always worry about kids in the White House (I’m about Chelsea’s age, and I felt bad for her the whole time), but I get the sense that Michelle can keep ’em in line.
This is one weird thing about being a Catholic. Even at our not-that-conservative Parish my Priest was forced to read a letter from the Archbishop about how we must vote “for life issues” and went on to mention the unborn several times. Our Priest seemed very uncomfortable; a friend said that her Priest began his reading with his own statement, “I’m only reading this because I have to.” People gravitate towards the Catholic Church to get away from this sort of politically active “Christianity” (though I still don’t get how abortion has much to do with my religion).
I know I left Church in a fury over this single-issue-thinking. I DID vote for life issues. Ending a war? Life issue. Health care for the impoverished here? Life issue. Environmentalism? Life issue. Yet again on the Catholic network last night (EWTN) on their news show who did they have on for their “election post-mortem” but Pat Buchanan. We put it on just to see if they’d go on and on about abortion and it was almost ALL they did. Meanwhile, the Pope doesn’t seem too upset, just vocal American Catholics. Buchanan even told the anchor that overturning Roe Vs. Wade wouldn’t outlaw abortion and that McCain couldn’t have done this regardless. All around annoyance though.
I know all this yammering cost Obama a few votes and even with my disgust at abortion I was annoyed as could be over the way it was being used to spur on voters. Sarah Palin? She was a last bid attempt to get that side of the electorate for the GOP.
Wha?
P.S. Atlas Shrugs just called Rahm Emanuel a “Obama’s House Jew”…..I love the amount of slavery terms on that blog!
alec: “And, of course, [Palin] not being able to speak for shit.”
I could feel myself get tense and unhappy when I listened to her respond to questions in an interview and during the debate. Her diction reminded me way too much of Commander in Codpiece’s habit of getting lost in his sentences. I have to think that one of her negatives was that she reminded voters of Bush because she talked like him. She also projected the same disinterest in learning facts or in analyzing them.
Ever wonder what the right wing bloggers are saying about Obama’s election but were too afraid to go to their websites to find out?
Ha ha! You said “penis brained!”
Atlas Shrugs just called Rahm Emanuel a “Obama’s House Jew”
That’s marginally better than Limbaugh calling them both “Chicago thugs”, which I swear I heard him do Wednsday.
I’m sure Crazy Pammy thinks the “slavery” reference is oh-so-funny-and-ironic. I’m eagerly awaiting their analysis of Obama’s cabinet which will undoubtedly be couched in gang references.
Stay classy, wingnuts!
my Priest was forced to read a letter from the Archbishop about how we must vote “for life issues” and went on to mention the unborn several times.
That should read “the undead”, shouldn’t it?
1. Thanks for that, paleopuerco; I get a real kick from reading that shit but I do not like going to those reichsights.
2. Mooser, I had some excellent moose sausage in Norway. It tasted very good.
3. Many years ago when I overcame my adolescent pretentiousness I started replying to quesries as to my ancestry with “I’m an all American mutt.”
4. Poop.
It isn’t the hair, it’s the dander, so getting a hairless dog won’t help. The reason dogs like poodles, kerry blues and a few others are consider low allergenic (never non- or hypo-) is that the hair grows continuously and gets trapped in the coat when it breaks – along with the dander. You have to brush it out So they don’t leave it all over the place.
Most kids grow out of allergies, especially to animals, through exposure.
Oh, and there’s only one clear choice for B Obama and Fam – an American Pit Bull terrier. They have a lot in common! It’s also the classic children’s pet, or was until everybody started lying about the old fellow (kind of like they lied about Barack during the campaign). Plus, it might make a statement that could help thousands of people who happen to own them to get their civil rights back.
If they asked me (or any experienced dog lady), I’d tell them to ignore the shelter propaganda and get a well bred, properly handled pup from a good breeder. They’re first-timers so we want them to get off to the best start possible and enjoy having a dog.
There’s nothing wrong with pound dogs (I’ve had quite a few) but they are better for more experienced people, since a lot of them come with baggage. Plus, due to high neutering compliance among pet owners, there aren’t many oopsie infant pups available at pounds and shelters these days.
7 portions sad grizzly bear colon, candied
This forces me to remind you (however reluctantly) of the existence of pig-colon sausages.
Those Azawakhs are not hairless dogs. Sorry to bore everyone with yammering on about them, but I just think they are the coolest dogs ever.
Seriously, up until a few years ago, I had never heard of anyone being allergic to dogs. The cat allergy is actually caused by dried cat spit, from all that relentless grooming.
The Obamas should get a cat.
They’re self-cleaning, they eat when they want and poop in a box. Total low maintenance.
If the Obamas need to be a little more careful in their dog selection because of allergy issues, I hope they’re looking at breed rescue organizations as well.
If they were to get a cat, it could be one of those Sphynx cats, and people could make Mr. Bigglesworth jokes.
House-ape hair make kittehs sneeze. That’s why we bred them for baldness.
I’ve been looking for a good metaphor for the McCain/Palin campaign for some time now. I think I found it
Ok, I suck at html apparently. Copy n paste then:
“I never asked for anything more than maybe a Diet Dr. Pepper once in a while.”
All we ever wanted was everything
All we ever got was cold
Get up, eat jelly
Sandwich bars, and barbed wire
Squash every week into a day.
In my experience cats are waaaaaay more allergy inducing than dogs. I’m talking full blown asthma attacks that would put me in hospital. Best just to avoid them. On the other hand Terrier dogs such as Schnauzers or Yorkies are OK with me. Nice doggies too.
Greyhounds are supposed to be pretty good for allergy sufferers, too, and are a great rescue option.
Country First!!!!!
*(western second, of course)
Didn’t the Bush dog bite somebody yesterday or day before?
Pere–oh yeah, I’ve already caught plenty? of “black thugs”, rioting Jews(?!?!), and “the Darkie” president. Gates of Vienna really should be read regularly, a habit I’ve been out of until recently again.
boo hoo…my pit bull was confiscated when it tore the tendons in the arm of the next door six year old kid leading to permanent disability…boo hoo hoo…its my conspitoonshunal right to have dangerous animals not in cages…boo fucking hoo.
“black thugs”, rioting Jews(?!?!), and “the Darkie” president. Gates of Vienna really should be read regularly, a habit I’ve been out of until recently again.
Wow. Um, wow.
I somehow got the impression having a President-elect named “B. Hussein Obama” was going to get their silky undies in a wad, but it’s truly impressive just how high a cliff they’ve gone over already.
I wouldn’t read ’em, personally, but please keep us updated on their insanity if you’re so inclined.
Can one of the SadlyNauts confirm for me that this was the real Gary Ruppert? Other than the election, I’m having a pretty crappy week, and the notion that the real Gary typed that would help make me feel better again.
Half Cossack, half Norman–ALL BERSERKER!!!11!!!!!11!1!!!11
“Can one of the SadlyNauts confirm for me that this was the real Gary Ruppert?”
Don’t think that was Real Gary b/c I’ve seen what was reliably determined to be Real Gary use the term “martial law” properly.
Even Real Gary’s not Sarah Palin stoopid…
I’m pretty sure the real Gary would have said “rape the whirlwind”.
It’s more in line with his anti-globule-warning stance.
Empathic justices suck. Just ask John Kyl:
” Jon Kyl, the second-ranking Republican in the U.S. Senate, warned president-elect Barack Obama that he would filibuster U.S. Supreme Court appointments if those nominees were too liberal.
Kyl, Arizona’s junior senator, expects Obama to appoint judges in the mold of U.S Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, David Souter and Stephen Breyer. Those justices take a liberal view on cases related to social, law and order and business issues, Kyl said.
“He believes in justices that have empathy,” said Kyl, speaking at a Federalist Society meeting in Phoenix. The attorneys group promotes conservative legal principles.
Kyl said if Obama goes with empathetic judges who do not base their decisions on the rule of law and legal precedents but instead the factors in each case, he would try to block those picks via filibuster.”
It begins…
Ah, here it is “Video: Bush’s Dog Bites Reporter”
There are hypoallergenic cats besides Mr. Bigglesworth. Though I think it would be lovely, since the Sphinx cat would need to wear sweaters, they just don’t exude the sort of cuddly little girls adore.
A Siberian Forest Cat; that would be different. Cuddly, and sweet disposition.
Dogs and cats, living together!
Kyl said if Obama goes with empathetic judges who do not base their decisions on the rule of law and legal precedents but instead the factors in each case, he would try to block those picks via filibuster.”
The Great Gazoogle is quite informative — in fact, positively loquatious — about Kyl’s strident opposition
last Thursdayin 2005 to the idea of filibustering judicial nominations.Squash every week into a day.
Definitely more embarrassing to post that than to get it.
I was going to say something witty about ‘dating myself’, but I will not give RB the satisfaction of twisting my words into a confession of masturbation.
Indiana McOhio said,
November 9, 2008 at 0:53
boo hoo…my pit bull was confiscated when it tore the tendons in the arm of the next door six year old kid leading to permanent disability…boo hoo hoo…its my conspitoonshunal right to have dangerous animals not in cages…boo fucking hoo.
Species-ist. Seriously. A chihuahua could be a dangerous animal. Edumacate yourself.
Part of the problem facing the American catholic church is (a) avoiding joining the tide of crass Darbyite ass-pickers who have no problem whatsoever fundamentally redefining their formative principles (or are we supposed to believe slavery was OK again?) and (b) avoiding at the same time cleaving to the in many ways even worse European Catholic tradition of doing the same thing as the evangelicals in (a) only with the traditional power to get people put in prison over doctrinal issues.
The Catholicism I was raised in exposure to was a Catholicism of neither the deacons nor the archbishops, and it’s in general keeping with what my parents and the rest of my family wound up falling into. The big difference is the emphasis on spirituality they still cleave to. The Holy Spirit was an embarassing complication when I was a theist and is just silly now I’m not, and the amount of woo they buy into does disappoint me a lot.
On the plus side, the Catholic Church can be relied on much more easily to condemn general ‘life’ issues than the evangelicals – and among actually pious (rather than evangelical-style devout) Catholics there generally isn’t a contest between the parties – one wants to condemn people to choose between depravity and wage slavery and the other only occasionally condemns people within the first and least important couple of months of their lives. And even escaping the latter isn’t a guaranteed in the first group!
‘Culture of life’ is tacky coming from Catholics. When I hear a schismatic use it, I reach for my revolver.
The dangerous reputation of pit bulls is primarily a self-fulfilling prophecy. People treat them a lot rougher than other dogs, tend to rely on them more heavily as guard dogs, and it doesn’t help at all that they’ve got weird voiceboxes and a lot of them vocalize affectively in a pitch that sounds like snarling.
Your dog attacking someone generally means that either your dog is sick or you’ve been a bad owner – and let it be said that, in the ‘chihuahuas are deadly’ category, you will never find a pit bull puppy that gets away with the shit people come to expect out of smaller dogs.
Treat just about any large dog the way pit bulls are typically treated and you’re bound to get a confused, violent, impulsive creature.
But yeah, the hypoallergenic restriction is a pretty big deal. I’d almost suggest a poodle on the sheer hilarity value of every right-wing commentator spending a month calling an attractive, well-liked man a fag for buying his daughters a fuzzy dog – now they ain’t got the echo chamber backing them up, it’s just going to be as creepy and sad as the pink-baiting usually is.
As I detailed here, in all but three cases (AK, MA, AZ), the governor can and is expected to appoint a term-filler replacement by her or his own party.
Alaska is a special case – unlike AZ, there isn’t a strict prohibition on the governor making an appointment, but rather I think it’s just that that replacement only lasts 90 days or so.
I prefer Lex’s distillate – she keeps good tabs on antigastarbite wingnuts, having been one of them herself at one point (and, admirably, making the realization that she had made a terrible mistake after it became obvious the Catholics were treated the same by wingnut evangelicals as the Muslims were by antigastarbites) and it’s been in-sane lately. Crazed, infuriated ranting about betrayal by America’s Jews and all.
Also, as your mention of Chicago thugs and anything even tangentially related to Michelle Malkin makes mandatory, I must – as she never fails to do whenever she thinks of darkies mangling her hilarious turn of phrase – link you to a Google search for “thug thizzle”. I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s the law.
Wait, so by her own logic, she’s been palling around with the Russo-commies? I’m so confused… 🙁
Pere, I will at both watch sites, never fear, though it’s difficult to read GoV without feeling utterly dirty. What Alec mentioned seems a lifetime ago.
Alec, yes the Darbyites have taken over a certain edge of the “popular Christian culture” and though my church actually condemns these views many Catholics don’t realize this. I do wish more went to the geeky classes offered at the church, almost all historical, none preachy in the least. Still, I thought I should at least leave a missive on what happened in every Catholic Church in this Archdiocese a mere 2 days prior to elections.
Alec, I have no idea what I was thinking to join ranks with those people at one point. I had always been a liberal and retained many of my liberal stances. I’m back to my old self again. I think many of us whose families came from Muslim countries bought into the fear though. The wingers have ceased to learn however, something I consider akin to death. So I learned and with learning came self-realization.
Has anyone pointed out that the United States, Canada, and Mexico, in addition to being the three biggest countries in North America, are also the ONLY three countries in North America?
And anyone who tries to tell me Carribbean countries count gets a smack across the face. They are not thought of as North America.
I’ve talked to a lot of “heartland” voters since the election and every single person mentions Palin as a reason for their non-support of McCain. Epic fail.
NTL;RTWT (Not Too Long; Read The Whole Thing).
If McCain gets Americans to eschew the modelling of their national election campaigns after daytime soap-operas, he’ll have done his country a far better service than he ever did while in uniform.
Unfortunately for the GOP, its minions seem quite enamored of the whole “narrative” dog-&-pony show, long after most voters have come to see it for the snake-oil concession that it is … & it’s probably safe to say that some of their elite think-tank twits are eagerly crafting the storyline for their next bogus “narrative” even now, certain that if they just put the right flavor of sprinkles on their next turd, Americans will confuse it with a chocolate-sundae.