ok, we get it, you’re good at limericks. Can we move on to something more interesting now, like “breaking” down the “grammar” of Kay “Grogan’s” articles?

“…like “breaking” down the “grammar” of Kay “Grogan’s” articles?”

Good idea, but do it in sonnet form.

I would like to propose a sestina contest for wingnuttery.

Hey! Be nice to the limericks! I’m enjoying them!

Man, some people. I swear to God, if it doesn’t have the word “Nantucket” in the first line… /grumble

Vespa-
If you’d like to write a sestina for Kaye Grogan to get the ball rolling, I’ll publish it on the main site (seriously, I will).

First we get Delay and his “hammer”
Then shows up Kaye who’s quoted “grammar”
Made eveyone in the room scream,
Shouting, “I can’t take this scene.”
I’d rather be thrown in the slammer!

Man, some people. I swear to God, if it doesn’t have the word “Nantucket” in the first line…

You’re right. Here’s my favorite “Nantucket” limerick:

Little Timmy was from Nantucket
Was Obsessed with Clenis saying “suck it”
Went from rant to rant with glee
Exclaiming, “In my pants, I did pee!”
Can someone pass me the bucket?

Vespa-
If you’d like to write a sestina for Kaye Grogan to get the ball rolling, I’ll publish it on the main site (seriously, I will).

Ooh, a challenge!

A Sestina for Kaye Grogan
Kaye, Grogan, who can’t properly place a comma,
Kaye, Grogan, who mixes metaphors like a Cuisinart.
Once you were pictured with your horrible hair.
Before the image of wild jungle cats.
Oh, Kaye, you picture a world surrounded by scare ?quotes.?
Your writing makes even Peggy Noonan cry.

But even for RenewAmerica you have horrible hair,
You publish ?columns? with the most unnecessary of commas,
You would put ?My Life? into your Cuisinart
And blend it with tuna until, fluffy, to feed your cats.
You used the word ?Pasty? for ?Patsy? and made me cry.
But still you can’t find the right place for your ?quotes.?
Kaye, Grogan, you are so frightening with your horrible hair,
You say you are a photographer, but I think that should probably be in ?quotes.?
You equate taxation to slavery but you paid tax on your Cuisinart.
Kaye, Grogan, your grim mug shot is enough to scare my cats.
I would like to pelt you with your unneeded little commas,
I would like to hit you with them until you start to cry.

Your tangled metaphors would choke the heartiest Cuisinart.
Kaye, Grogan! Your tangential arguments are enough to curl my hair!
I simply fail to see the logic you ascribe to your placement of ?quotes,?
You torment the soul of the inventor of the comma.
When you try to reason your incoherence makes Socrates cry.
Trying to follow your columns is much like herding cats.

Kaye, Grogan, of Virginia, a state of much horrible hair,
We suspect it is rubber cement that makes you use random ?quotes?
Holy Jesus snot, giver of inspiration, it makes you use random commas,
And tells you to put your hand into the Cuisinart
Do it Kaye! Do it or else baby Jesus will cry!
The noise is like a thousand screaming cats.

Kaye, Grogan, you speak of the ?Koran Bible? and put it into ?quotes,?
The glue may soon cause you to lose your horrible hair.
But one day, all will be gone, into the mushy pulp in the Cuisinart.

Vespa = Brad R.’s hero.

Ah, but you are the wind beneath my wings.

That’s dizzyingly recursive (he said, way-impressed)!

dang- just realized my links to the actual Grogan articles are broked. Ah well.

Wah! A new poetic form:

Two lines, same syllables for each. Like this:

Yank the Fundies,
By their undies.

Dire slogan:
“Kaye Grogan.”