Glorious news
Give it to me, Novakula:
In serious conversations among Republicans since their election debacle Tuesday, what name is mentioned most often as the Moses, or Reagan, who could lead them out of the wilderness before 40 years?
To the consternation of many Republicans, it is none other than Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the House.
Gingrich is far from a unanimous or even a consensus choice to run for president in 2012, but there is a strong feeling in Republican ranks that he is the only leader of their party who has shown the skill and energy to attempt a comeback quickly.
Even one of his strongest supporters for president in 2012 admits it is a “very risky choice.” But Republicans are in a desperate mood after the fiasco of John McCain’s seemingly safe candidacy.
Republicans seem chastened by the failure of seeking moderate, independent and even Democratic votes. They are ready to try going back to the “old-time religion.”
I hope that Newt and Tony Perkins run a joint ticket whose main platform plank consists of taking away children from gay couples and throwing them into orphanages. I didn’t think any election could be funnier than 2008, but the GOP nominating Newt could very well top it.
The Lizard King!
I hope that Newt and Tony Perkins run a joint ticket whose main platform plank consists of taking away children from gay couples and throwing them into
orphanagesMark Foley’s Jeff Gannon-infested dungeon.Fixed and first!
Wow. We’re now waxing Gingritch-nostalgic?
Picking him would be the equivalent of an entire party curling up into the fetal position, going to their “happy place” of yore.
Damn.
Even better: Newt/Palin 2012.
Christ, Newt, why the hell don’t you just go “write” the sequel to 1946? Maybe Mormon Scott Card needs a co-author as well. You never know.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s token wingnut, Jim Wooten, has made the same suggestion. As have various movers in shakers in suburban Cobb County (Newt’s old stomping ground), whose power is limited to…well…Cobb County.
Ignore the fact that Newt left national politics in disgrace. Ignore the fact that he subscribes to a draconian view of the universe. Just look/listen to him without anything in your memory banks…and he’s still dreadful. For the yucks I watched him on Hannity & Whoever the night before the election half-assedly assuming that blacks and young voters weren’t gonna turn out, and that PA was going to McCain, and the rest of the slate of silly the Corner and Glenn Reynolds and Michael Barone soothed themselves right before the beatdown. Newt acted tired, cranky, annoyed, and completely apathetic. He could have been talking about any election for anything, ever. He just did not give a crap.
Hey, guys, the Whig Party called. They said as long as you were joining them in the political dustbin if you didn’t mind picking up a case of beer on your way down there.
I’m re-posting this from the thread below just to keep from getting it deadthreaded, as it’s just too je nai se quois:
Oh, lord.
ThinkProgress has this turd from Sen. Evan Bayh concerning Lieberman:
BAYH: And I think if Joe came before the caucus and said look, if I said some things that came as offensive, I’m sorry, but they were, you know heartfelt in my support of John McCain. I think we had to just let bygones be bygones. We’re going to need him on healthcare and energy independence and education and a whole lot of other things.
I think we had just to let both Bayh and Lieberman find a nice short dock to take a long walk on. Creeps.
For some reason the Republican attempt to attract moderates, independents and Democrats by having an incoherent backwoods beauty contest reject screech TRAITOR and UR NOT A REALAMERICAN(R) was an utter failure.
Oh well. It must be that independents, moderates and Democrats are insane and possibly terrorists.
And for the love of God, no one look at the next thread.
I want to see a Gary Bauer/Newt run in 2012. Take that, Ohdamnit!!!
Only a wingnut can conclude that what McCain/Palin ’08 was really missing was preposterous ideological extremism and continuously making and breaking relatively simple promises. Oh, and a complete lack of charisma and appeal to anyone outside of a hard-line core of cynical ratfuckers.
Why not just start shouting ‘TANCREDO 12’ and be done with it? Surely the women and Mexicans you alienated this year will come around when you promise to violate their human rights extra hard.
For some reason the Republican attempt to attract moderates, independents and Democrats by having an incoherent backwoods beauty contest reject screech TRAITOR and UR NOT A REALAMERICAN(R) was an utter failure.
I can’t imagine why that didn’t work either; but clearly the solution is to have a wizened pug-man do it instead.
I’m surprised the ol’ Caudatus didn’t run this year.
If Palin was a hail mary, this is rigging the stadium with explosives.
Man I rushed VDH Part 10 to get here and I broke up laughing at the first line of the quote!
BWAHAHAHAHHHAAAA!!! That’s fucking hilarious! I’m chortling so hard it hurts!
I’m still basking in Obama afterglow. No Reptiles allowed.
Novakula:
During the Primary campaign in 2012, Newt Gingrich will turn 69. He has a much younger blond Stepford wife, with whom he was having an affair while still married to the previous wife. His biggest plus appears to be his mavericky trend to do whatever the fuck he wants, regardless of what others may think or feel. This is avoiding repeating the past how? Perhaps in 2012, he’ll find another woefully ignorant former beauty queen to be his running mate, or maybe it will be different in that he’ll chose an actress.
Gingrich/Harmon 2012 – Totally different than McCain/Palin! Because Angie Harmon would totally rock out a six-figure wardrobe!
Is it possible that the Republican Party is now just an exceedingly subtle performance art group?
Is it possible that the Republican Party is now just an exceedingly subtle performance art group?
In that case someone definitely needs to cut off their NEA funding.
Palin / Gingrich in 2008
In serious conversations among Republicans since their election debacle Tuesday, what name is mentioned most often as the Moses, or Reagan, who could lead them out of the wilderness before 40 years?
To the consternation of many Republicans, it is none other than Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the House.
Oh man…I’m sure they mean as RNC head. I hope so.
But if they would just run his ass…please…PLEASE, God, I’ll give up masturbation.
But if they would just run his ass…please…PLEASE, God, I’ll give up masturbation.
I dunno, that’s a pretty big sacrifice. I think I’d just go for eating the hat.
Palin/Foley 2012
She makes ’em while he molests ’em!
Any Rupublican who was around in ’94 would know that Gingrich was all show. He was a constant agitator as Minority Whip, but almost as soon as he became Speaker. they began to look for ways to get rid of him. Surely they couldn’t be so stupid as to bring him back. Then again we’re talking about the same people who just nominated a guy that bankrupted his own campaign before the primaries got started. It’s not like they have the capacity to learn from history.
Bill Clinton can make Newtie cry!!
Is it possible that the Republican Party is now just an exceedingly subtle performance art group?
Well, for the past eight years or so I’ve been enjoying their piece entitled “43rd President.” And by enjoying I mean please god make it stop.
At this point, I’d rather have some say the word “moist” for the eight years than deal with any more Republican Party performance art pieces.
“he is the only leader of their party who has shown the skill and energy to attempt a comeback”
Right. If he could come back, he would have, you know, come back. He fled Congress in disgrace because he was caught cheating on his wife while they were impeaching the president for cheating on his wife. That doesn’t exactly endear him to the Iowa pigfuc*ers who get first crack at winnowing the candidate field. How well did abrasive serial-adulterer Rudy do in Iowa again?
On the other hand, I would dearly like watching him eviscerate Palin in the primary debates. Yes, by all means, GOP, try the cranky old man gambit in 2012. Obama will surely be powerless against it. Yes, it’s fool-proof.
A conservative acquaintance of mine is desperate for a Palin/Jindal ticket in 2012. Seriously.
Kobie’s right. 60% of Rs polled (somewhere, in some context) were behind Sweet Sarah in ’12.
Bring her on!
Newt is still alive? crikey! Isn’t he like 85 or something?
I thought Novakula retired after he ran over that poor old man and decided that the only valid excuse was that his brain exploded or something.
Liberals are the true hypocrites.
The fact is, human flatus contains methane, which is a significant contributor to global warming. Homofecal intercourse weakens the anal sphincter, contributing to the release of greenhouse gases.
If liberals really cared about fighting global warming (instead of just bankrupting the coal industry), they would be celebrating Proposition 8 instead of fighting to have it overturned by activist judges.
The GOP picking Newt for ’12 would almost make me believe in a benevolent god.
No one says “family values” like Newt Gingrigh. He fits the Rupublican Ideal in that respect.
I care little for their political ambitions….I just wanna see some hot Ralph Reid on Tony Perkins action!
Maybe “Ahnold” will throw his pickelhaube spear point helmet into der ring.
I’m sure he could whip the base into a righteous frothing frenzy.
Jeez Gary,you’ll have to try out your “Homofecal intercourse” theory at your next Young Republicans dinner party.You can “drop that nugget” at the salad bar,chatting up this seasons newly arrived Debs.
BTW,I was so sorry to hear about the sad,untimely death of poor whats his name.You know:the guy who wrote all those really cool Dino Park AD- ventures and World science community razzing anti-global warming screeds?
What was his name again? Mitchell? Maury?
Sorry,I’m having a brain fart. Hey! There’s another leading cause of…oh forget it.
BTW,I’d vote for Newt if he changed his name to “Zoot” and said stuff like “fly away Daddy-O” and took up playing the Bongos.
Newt should run with that hideously annoying Geiko lizard. Get it?