Amber weighs in…

You are, frankly, the sewer of the internet – the tabloids of the intellectual world … you may as well go into business trying to snap a picture of me without makeup and in pajamas, the way that Star or National Enquirer would do to celebrities.


Photo of Miss Pawlik without makeup


Comments: 54


You realize you’re according Amber the status of “celebrity,” right?

Although, come to think of it, she is one of S,N!’s reigning stars…


She doesn’t look too bad without makeup. I presume the absent, kind of downcast look is due to the webcam shot.


It means you will attack anything and everything about me just to “bring me down.”

“Sadly, No!” is finally unmasked!

All this time I’ve been reading this blog, I thought all you boys just wanted was to have fun…
But sadly, no, I was mistaken.
You wanted to bring the lady down…

Like we say in my country… “Fool me once, shame on.”


Although she is quite foxy, I remain, alas, homosexual.


Amber does a pretty good job of being ridiculous on her own- she doesn’t need our help. See her masterpiece, “Boycott Anchorman.”


Miss Pawlik writes:

The point I wanted to make was to be able to say: “Look, I can’t even post recipes without them attacking it!”

So, what are you whinging about, then? Once again, you’re right. Rejoice! Your premise-laden objectivist world remains intact. Your colon is rebelling, of course, but then it’s the colon; it never invented any innovative metals, after all.


Oops, that was me. Odd; you can post without a name?


It means you will attack anything and everything about me just to “bring me down.”

Amber: Hey, elevator operator!

S,N!: Why you call me elevator operator?

Amber: ‘Cause you’re always bringing me down!

[Cue loop of Fat Albert kids groaning, with wah-wah music.]


Help! There’s an Amber Alert…IN MY PANTS!!!


Heh. She thought y’all were Seb. That’s why she’s mad obviously. If it was Seb making fun of her, then she wouldn’t mind so much.

And did ya see, Jesse at Pandagon said her recipes were (w-word, t-word) recipes. I can’t believe he said that!!!


If you think this place is the sewer of the internet, you lead a very sheltered life.

Why single out the recipes? They’re funny. They remind me of my childhood. when fashionable women’s magazines were propaganda vehicles for the premis that American society had evolved beyond the mundane need for women to cook. We were promised that in just a few years, meals would be in pills. I remember the golden years of TV dinners (my mother loved them because they meant no dishes) and I still chow down on frozen pot pies and mac’n’cheese from a box. The difference is, I also know how to make both from scratch, with all the attendent skills and understanding of the processes (like getting a realy nice sweetness to the pot pie filling by sweating the root veggies, thus releasing their sugars). And if we want to get down to it , the Law of Identity says that a pizza is a pizza. What you described is not a pizza, but more like a faux pizza appetizer.


If being an elitist means I’m not the dumbest fucker in the room, then I’m an elitist.

Adult Child of God Fearing Republicans and
Cynical Ex-Hippie Working for the Establishment (MIC)


Yosef, I think it was Amanda Marcotte (here) at Pandagon and not Jesse at Pandagon that used that term. Amanda probably thinks she’s justified in using it just because Amanda lives in Texas.


We ought to take up a collection to send Amber a copy of Joy of Cooking, since it’s kind of sad that she’s able to post those “recipes” without any sense of irony whatsoever. Cooking real food isn’t all that hard, after all.


Cooking real food isn’t elitist, either.


~Help! There’s an Amber Alert…IN MY PANTS!!!~

ROFLOL! And you made me do a noser, to boot!

(damn hilarious S,N! commenters…)



Wow…I think I counted at least three posts implying that she’s hot. Am I just too homo-fantastico to recognize subtle beauty in the opposite sex? Have the decadent cocaine-and-viagra bathhouse “culture of death” theme weekends damaged my eyesight?

Still, her look is common in DC (isn’t that where Chez Amber is located?)…the pasty, wind-burned skin….the split ends…the mouth pursed in an eternal expression of vague displeasure. All that’s missing is a bland, boxy she-suit in some dull shade of brown. Slap a pair of sensible pumps on her, and she could practically be a congressional aide!


Umm….I hope I didn’t just violate community standards or anything. I mean, you *did* post a picture. What else would we comment on?


Ms. Pawlik’s picture reminded me of somebody else, but I couldn’t figure out who … and then it hit me.
I don’t intend this to be insulting to Amber … I think Kevin Pollack is a fine looking gentleman, and I will certainly not comment on someone’s appearance in this forum. But the similarities .. Pawlik/Pollack .. I think I’m on to something here. I’ve never seen them in the same room …


One thing I will say about Amber is that she is definitely not, Not, NOT, white trash – despite the penchant for overuse of powdered ranch dressing.

Also, Miracle Whip gets a bad rap. Remember Mayonaise is kissin’-cousin to Hollandaise.
Of course, Miracle Whip isn’t exactly Mayonaise, is it?


No, it certainly is not. Miracle Whip is industrial waste.


You all are missing the best part of her post. She insists that 2-3% of the world’s population are homosexual but 50% of pedophiles are gay. I’m not sure where she got this bogus stat. I suspect she either pulled it out her butt, or it’s from “Focus on your Family”, which is essentially the same thing.


If this is the sewer of the internet, would that make everyone here mutants?


Oh, I totally caught that. It would be funnier if a) it wasn’t such a creepy and ugly assumption, and if b) most people didn’t actually believe it, deep down in their dark little hearts. Elsewhere, she talks about how pedophilia is a “major problem in the homosexual community”. I wonder how she knows that and I don’t? I must have missed that issue of the newsletter. She wraps that little post-it up with this zinger: “There you have it, for all to see: a perverted homosexual freak in action.”

And that, ladies and gents, is why I have no problem talking shit about Amber fucking Pawlik.


I just don’t think she’s worth the trouble. It’s starting to remind me of poking an animal in a cage with a stick just to see it growl. If I want bad recipes I’ll read Lilek’s blog, at least he KNOWS they’re bad.


“If this is the sewer of the internet, would that make everyone here mutants?”

Or C.H.U.D., at least.


As I noted elsewhere, same sex statutory infractions may be more likely to be identified as pedophilia than heterosexual statutory offenses. Also, I suspect, but don’t know for certain, that heterosexual pedophilia is cloaked under incest infractions (which for some sick reason are punished as lesser offenses in some states. People plea bargain to incest to avoid child molestation charges in such venues, it’s know as the “incest exception” if one cares to do a google on it.)

I have never seen evidence of M. J. having been involved in a sexual relationship with an adult male partner. I don’t think he’s ever been truly intimate with any adult. If anything, at the adult level I would consider him asexual or androgynous.


Your only young once, but you can dress age inappropriate forever.


Hehehehe…you said CHUD


“I have never seen evidence of M. J. having been involved in a sexual relationship with an adult male partner. I don’t think he’s ever been truly intimate with any adult. If anything, at the adult level I would consider him asexual or androgynous.”

I’ve never seen any evidence of homosexuality in Michael Jackson either. He’s definitely effeminate, and kind of bizarre, but that’s about it. And supposedly he has that child, so…


Heterosexuals make up about 97-98% of the population and homosexuals take up 2-3%, yet there are about 50% heterosexual pedophiles and 50% homosexual pedophiles.

Homosexuals are only 2-3% of the population? Even self-reported studies give at least 5%, and those don’t count all of ’em. Once again, Amber shows a commitment to facts and statistics.

Also I like Amber’s extensive knowledge of the sexuality of the pedophile population. I bet this is based on how many avowed pedophiles have come up to her and said “You know, if you were, oh, 10-15 years younger…”


Amber’s not bad looking, but I wouldn’t characterize her as cute or hot.

So don’t worry, res-publica. It’s not just you!

She does look hideous in that picture with Ann Coulter, but I figure that’s Mannhand’s aura bringing everyone down.


Amber looks like Monica Lewinsky, only less attractive.

Maybe the faraway look on her face is because she’s got Seb’s cigar shoved up her pootie?


She insists that 2-3% of the world’s population are homosexual but 50% of pedophiles are gay. I’m not sure where she got this bogus stat. I suspect she either pulled it out her butt, or it’s from “Focus on your Family”, which is essentially the same thing.

Most people here in the developed world consider homosexuality and heterosexuality to be adult sexual orientations, and pedophilia to be something else altogether. And of course, most people don’t make up statistics, like little Amber.

In any case, when Amber starts talking about sex, a vision of her partner staring her forcefully into the eyes, taking her with primitive abandon looms before me, and makes me want to puke up my my Crescent-roll/Miracle Whip pizza.


Am I just too homo-fantastico to recognize subtle beauty in the opposite sex?

I really like the term “homo-fantastico.” I would love to hear the Dad from The Brak Show say it.

No, I’m a straight girl, and from my 23 years of being told what is cute or hot, I’d say Amber isn’t as bad as many right wing freak shows but at the same time her comments make her seem as ugly as yesterday’s menudo. Kinda like how Michelle Malkin could hold a candle to say, Lucy Liu, but her hate makes you wonder if she keeps her face in a jar by the door like the head witch in that Roald Dahl book. Ugly on the inside, folks, ugly on the inside.


Listen – Amber is plenty hot, a sticky sweet neo-con love muffin if I ever saw one.

Unfortunately her demonstrated lack of cooking skills dooms her to non-breeder status with the Wingnut elite. Oh, she can be the life of the party, sure, but a pasty Hugh Hewitt clone or doughy Karl Rove wanna-be couldn’t possible bring her home to meet Mommy Dearest. The warrior elite need sustenance, and Chicken Cheesy Hashbrowns ain’t gonna cut it.

Sadly though I think deep deep down, under that brave face, pancake makeup, blue eyeshadow and cute-as-a-button imperfectly tweezed eyebrow she herself knows the awful truth.

And I weep for her.


Well, I would say that Amber is hot in the sense that Sissy Spacek is hot in “Carrie.”

But changing the subject just a little, I noticed that she is a fellow Nittany Lion, and about 10 years younger than I am. I have to wonder if she was influenced by the infamous Willard Preacher (Gary I forget his last name)? Any other Lions out there know if he still is? His arguments in support of fundamental Christianity were such wonderful BS that we all loved listening to it just to laugh at how misguided his ideas of science really were (Yes, me and my friends were — and are — science geeks).


Sorry, I meant to write: “Any other Lions out there know if he still is around?”


For some reason, I just can’t read about Amber’s desire to be a writer without thinking of Jethro Bodine saying, “Ah’m gonna be a double-naught spy, Uncle Jed! Or a brain surgeon!”


If this is the sewer of the internet, would that make everyone here mutants?

Posted by meri at June 10, 2005 10:30 PM

We’re all giant-brained fetuses smokin’ the white bud ridin’ on the backs of enormous mutant crocs.


this is the sewer, AHA! That explains the giant albino alligators! I just thought they were unusually attractive trolls!


It’s actually illegal to say “homo fantastico” without imitating the voice of Dad from the Brak Show. I always pictured “homo fantastico” bedazzled across the chest of a tie-died baby-tee with the bottom cut to fringe and beaded with gold. Mens sizes only. How’s that for “blatant”?

As re: Michele Malkin holding a candle to Lucy Liu: from the pictures I’ve seen, I’d guess that Michele’s not all the cute, but her makeup is. She looks like she has good product. Bad soul, good product. I think that means she’ll be working the MAC counter in hell.


Jeff: Oh, he’s still there, and I’ve only been in State College for a year.

He’s entertaining, but not as good as the Quad preacher, Preacher Dan, at Illinois. That guy had some hilarious stories, including one relating about how women like cucumbers “for the obvious reason.”

This confused me at first, cause I thought that’d be “they’re good in salads.”

Also, I’ve never seen Michelle Malkin without makeup. At least with makeup, I can safely say she has nice cheekbones.


How about I just boycott Anchorman because Will Farrell is about as funny as my last root canal and therefore, I hate him?

Schwag of Tulsa

Hasn’t Amber suffered enough? I mean, she actually eats those recipes she posted!


Jeff, Vivek,

Willard Preacher is a position, not a person. There have been at least three since I arrived in Happy Valley in fall of ’73.

M. D.

Just another cynical ex-hippie working for the establishment.

Did you know Willard the terminal geek of the eponymous movies is named after Willard Building (I think Bruce Davison (original movie)came up with the name)


If Amber were my dream date, I’d bleach that upper lip more, slather her with my Miracle Whip while singing ‘Yankee Doodle’ and calling her My Macaroni.

But I digress.

Look, MJ is a freak. He has been proven to engage in heterosexual activities. It is alleged that he’s a pedophile attracted to male boys. If that’s proven, he would be a bisexual and a pedophile. So she definitely errs there.

My observation is that he displays a certain amount of transexual behavior and a fondness for children. I’ve wondered if he overcompensates for his own lost childhood in the latter expressions. I’d have to study all the testimony and sit in the courtroom to make any judgment beyond that.

But Ms. Pawlik errs greatly in tossing out stats and drawing conclusions about homosexuality and pedophilia. They certainly seem rooted in bigotry over scientific fact.

But then, I’d expect no less from her, as 97% of psychologists have affirmed that all but 2% of pedophiles get that way from snorting Miracle Whip off neocon crackpimp bellies.



Interesting…I knew he was paid by some group to be there, but I didn’t know how far back it went.

I wonder if any of the Willard Preachers have successfully converted, um, anyone.


"You are, frankly, the sewer of the internet "
Actually, speaking from experience, this is NOT " the sewer of the internet
". I’ve BEEN in the sewer of the internet, and you know what? It’s FILLED
with the zombies of Dr. Vazhilok. And they are super icky. They puke on you
and stuff. Ick!

Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel

WARNING! I read Amber’s postings past the Miracle Whip/Michael Jackson issues. She says she’s working out and “feeling slim and sexy again.”

Well, if she says so…


Interestingly, the Back Door Bandits of this forum become aggrievedly indignant at the suggestion that they are disproportionately of the NAMBLAesque persuasion.

Despite the fact that homosexuals have been evolutionarily deselected from reproducing naturally, their interest in “educating” my children is unsettling and arouses a protective fatherly instinct and itchy trigger finger.
The inherent nature of their pederastic and paedophilic intent shouts loudest from the classrooms of public schools in the US. It is here, under a rainbow colored banner, that these Spiders do their worst to manufacture consent in innocents and aquiescence in parents. They display all the devious characteristics of lowliest malevolent predator.

Ultimately, it will be parental vigilantism that will remove the threat and protect the innocence of the child.


You people suck, …..i came to this site on an accident,,,,,,,and you mean to tell me there are 50 something people on here that didnt have anything better to do than to comment on some lame prant someone did to make someone feal bad? … get off your ass and help people that you are able to help!


Hey folks, Is the U.S. a lot far better off sticking to Syria’s Assad?


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