Woooo! Blog war

I’m only going to go through this once, so pay attention.


I lived in New Jersey for FIFTEEN YEARS, ten of which in southern Bergen County, the remainder near Morristown and briefly in Sparta, and during those FIFTEEN YEARS I ate pizza all over the blasted state, including Essex, Hudson, and Mercer counties, and with one exception the pizza was uniformly soggy and tasteless.

Oh, Morristown. Yeah, Suvio’s is such the pinnacle of Jersey cuisine. That name rings a bell, doesn’t it? You ordered pies from Suvio’s, and this ten-dollar bill says you can’t deny it.

Hey look, it’s Sparta: Mooo. Mooo. What’s that? It’s cows! Imagine New Jersey as an hourglass shape, where Sparta is a little cow-shaped dot on the far upper-left corner, by Pennsylvania. Many don’t realize that it’s famous for its pizza! That’s because it isn’t!

Bergen County: This is the epicenter of wonderful bagels, lox, varnishkes, and borscht. If you want to get Kosher pizza, this is where you go (or Highland Park, in Middlesex County). Unfortunately, Kosher pizza is disgusting. So you order the smoked sable instead.

Something is missing in all of this, and it’s communities where Jersey-Italians live.

And as I ate that soggy, tasteless pizza, inevitably there were New Jersey natives hovering about expounding on how great that pizza was.

This suggests to me that New Jerseyites just don’t know any better. I always pitied them privately but tried to be polite.

Well, those days are over, Maha. Go ahead, let it all out.

Anyway, it has been suggested that because, after consuming a few hundred pizzas all over the blasted state over a period of FIFTEEN YEARS, I haven’t given New Jersey pizza a proper chance. Right.

Dude, if that first Suvio’s pie didn’t work out, don’t keep ringing their damn phone off the hook ordering more.

This dangerously insane person ate ‘a few hundred’ bad pizzas in New Jersey. That actually takes some work, let me just say.

You know what, fellas? I went to China, and they just have the worst Chinese food there! Well okay, I ordered from Suvio’s Lucky China Dragon Crap-food Palace a lot. They delivered — what could I do?

Hey, it’s all China! Don’t tell me there’s better and worse Chinese food in China!


[…]Clearly, you New Jerseyites have had limited life experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help you.

No, every bit helps. I’m learning so much about the bankruptcy of my cultural heritage from an Ozark carpetbagger who thinks pizza should be ‘crunchy’ and ‘spicy.’

Hey man, you’d love tacos — try those sometime. The ones in Mexico are no good, though.


Comments: 27


I don’t really have a dog in this fight. But I personally enjoy a crisp crust with chewy dough, tangy tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella, topped with Canadian bacon, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, olives, Italian sausage, and fresh tomato slices.



Well, I definitely do have a dog in this fight, but ‘crisp crust’ plus ‘chewy dough’ is such the secret to happiness!

Uh, I’m hungry.


Crown pizza, up by Columbia; I forget what avenue it’s on. Huge slices, properly greasy.

And really, just so long as it’s better than the crap they dare to call pizza in California. Gag.


Believe it or not, we actually get really good New York (or maybe New Jersey) style pizza down here in NC. Of course that’s because everyone from up there eventually moves down here, so there’s a call for it.

Oh, and on the topic of Uno as mentioned in the previous thread, the pizza isn’t the best, but damn they’ve got good beer specials.


As a resident of Chicago and one time resident of Jersey (Tren’an), I can say that no one has the right to dis Jersey pizza, especially the fabulous tomato pie of Chambersburg. That said, I prefer the Chicago deep dish as it has more cheese.
Soggy and tasteless though? Dumbass.


Crown? Thoroughly mediocre.

Now Di Fara’s, out in Midwood, there’s a pizza.


Never posted here before, but as Jersey pizza is being disparaged, I can’t hold back. I’ve lived in New Jersey for all of my 24 years, and anyone who says that our pizza is bad is clearly an idiot. There is really no other state in the nation where your town can have 10 different pizza places, and at least 9 of them make great food.

These people probably don’t fold their slice when they eat it either. Where I’m from, the Italians kick your ass unless you eat it properly.


I knew it!!!

From Mahablog:

In fact, the thing was so limp it defied being picked up and eaten by hand. I glanced around the restaurant and saw how the natives had solved this problem–they folded the slices in half and ate them sandwich-style. I had never seen such a thing in my life, yet the natives munched away happily, unaware there was anything the least bit odd about pizza crust with the consistency of spongecake.


now look here Dirty Jer-Z – you have to add NY and CT to that list. You can hit up most any pizza joint in Westchester and lower Fairfield County and find great food(although the ‘pizza’ you find upstate in NY and CT blows hard)

Also, do they really eat pizza without folding it? That’s like putting mayonnaise on your french fries.
I’ve never eaten Jersey Pizza, but I have to believe SN. But if mahablog says Jersey Pizza is so bad, where is pizza so much better?


Mahablog is a danger to themselves and others. They claim that ‘real pizza’ should be crunchy and spicy, like a big cracker with taco sauce on it. Because that’s how they make it in the Ozarks, apparently — a noted Parnassus of pizza, next to which the New York area is a little struggling backwater.

Don’t turn your back on them; they’re dangerously insane!


Aaargh! Let us all, present and former New Jerseyites and NJ pizza supporters, walk physically to Mahablog’s server and feed into it a nice drippy piece of Jersey pizza! It might not serve to convince the Mahablogger of our point, but it will at least grind the insanity to a halt. And he/she thinks there’s something weird about folding pizza to eat it??? That is the sine qua non of pizza-eating technique, and any pizza that won’t lend itself to that–say, because it’s on a saltine-like crust!–is not a real pizza anyway. BTW, Sparta? I have relatives who live in Sparta, and I think they are the only Italians there, which tells you something about the idiocy of holding up Sparta’s pizza as an example. Sheesh.


Once you are all done whining you are welcome to come over to South Philly for some truly good pizza. Although our many transplants took a lot of good pizza to South Jersey with them.


Also, do they really eat pizza without folding it? That’s like putting mayonnaise on your french fries.

Hey now — as a liberal blog, we shouldn’t be denigrating European eating habits like fries with mayo. We’re supposed to hate America, remember?

Anyway, I’m from Lawn Guyland m’self, and I believe I was 19 the first time I saw someone eat a slice of regular without folding it. Index finger down, thumb and middle finger up, watch the grease running out the back … it never occurred to me that there was any other way.


Yes, banana-slug, I will refrain from addressing your “whining” comment and agree with you: South Philly = multi-generational Italian habitation = great pizza!


Argggg!!! I can’t take it any more!!

Do NOT be dissing NYC/NY pizza! We invented pizza! (Ok, I had nothing to do with it).

Tell me you’ve gone to Patsy’s or one of the Famous Ray’s or even Koronets…and then you might be able to tell me that you even understand the beauty of a real slice.

And don’t even get me started on the “ice cold” requirement for beer…


“Cracker” pizza can be ok, IF it’s apizza from Modern’s in New Haven. (Or maybe Sally’s. Pepe ok too in an emergency.) Otherwise, get lost.

And Famous Ray’s? Koronet? In Manhattan it’s JOE’S and that’s it.


And really, just so long as it’s better than the crap they dare to call pizza in California. Gag.

You mean like trying to find edible Mexican/Central American food on the Least Coast? Even the chain “Mexican” places suck dong.


“and with one exception the pizza was uniformly soggy and tasteless.’

So what’s the one exception???


So what’s the one exception???

I think it’s Kinchley’s Tavern in Mahwah.


Great! I’m only 10 minutes away!

Who knew the best pizza in the state was in Mahwah?!

I will check it out and report. I have to go to the OTB in Suffern on Saturday anyway…..


I will check it out and report. I have to go to the OTB in Suffern on Saturday anyway…..

Maybe you can pick up some of that Suffern Succotash that one always hears about?


“Maybe you can pick up some of that Suffern Succotash that one always hears about?”

I just might do that. I’ll think I’ll start with one of the many Irish bars, and see if they have any.


While all true Americans know that Chicago style pizza superior (I’m sorry but actually having more toppings than grease is nice), I will concede that Chicago style Hot Dogs are truly an abomination.


C.T., you are incorrect about pizza in CT. First of all, the most famous pizza in CT is in New Haven, which is definitely not in Fairfield County. In Fairfield County they eat pizza with a knife and a fork, on the good china (or so I imagine).

My mother, who grew up in Brooklyn, finds Wooster Street Pizza in Manchester, CT to be the closest to the pizza she grew up with, but she still drives down to NY to get really good pizza.


Comparing a New York / NJ pizza to a Chicago-style pizza is like comparing punk rock to the blues, Interpol to Wilco, a hot dog to a Polish. There’s a place for each. NY-style for newbies with good taste, Chicago-style for afficionados.


As a Yurripeen, I must just comment that it’s terribly sad that you had to borrow the name “pizza” from an Italian dish with some common ingredients for your own, strange dish. Whatever it is, and however you make it, almost none of it is actual pizza.


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