Do-It-Yourself Intellectual Bankruptcy Kit

Shorter Victor Davis Scipio Belisarius Rommel Themistocles Hanson:

The End of Journalism

  • The liberal media is liberal.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions™.


 

Comments: 41

 
 
 

Hanson needs to brush up on his history. An advocacy media was exactly what the Founders were familiar with and exactly what they wanted to protect with the First Amendment. The myth of objectivity arose after WWII with the effort to professionalize journalism (that is, to treat journalism as a profession like medicine and the law).

 
 

made my brain go to sleep.

 
 

[changed the shorter, convinced that no one would’ve gotten the original one]

 
 

[changed the shorter, convinced that no one would’ve gotten the original one]

Humor us.

 
 

NRO Interviewer: Mr Hansen, you reasoning is lame, your charges are baseless and your prose is dreadful.

Can you start this afternoon?

 
 

Hanson (mmm-bopped):

Imagine the reaction of the New York Times or the Washington Post had John McCain renounced his promise to participate in public campaign financing, proceeded instead to amass $600 million and outraise the publicly financed Barack Obama four-to-one, and begun airing special 30-minute unanswered infomercials during the last week of the campaign.

I

Actually, McCain tried to do just that during the primary. The reaction?

Meh.

In fact, the Times and the Post pretty much ignored event he fact that the FEC chair (a Republican appointee) had issued an advisory letter stating that McCain would be violating the McCain-Feingold Act (catchy name!) by dumping public financing because his campaign had already leveraged substantial benefit from its earlier announced intent to participate in public financing.

The only reason that the FEC did not convene to rule decisively on McCain’s plan to opt out of public financing was that the FEC could not make a quorum because it lacked sufficient members. The reason that it lacked sufficient members is that the White House insisted on clustered approval of three nominees to the FEC, one of whom, Hans Van Spakofsky, had an unsavory history vis-a-vis vote suppression.

Of course, the Times and the Post were all over this story. Remember?

No?

Maybe Hanson saved the clippings.

 
 

It never ceases to amaze me how they can turn the fascist media in this nation into some arm of a fifth column.

 
 

DF Manno-
I think you hit the nail on the head. The Founders set up all kinds of protections against authoritarian rule, including checks and balances and freedom for the press. Therefore, THE key role of journalism is to be a watchdog against oppression and totalitarianism. Therefore, doesn’t it make sense that it should be somewhat liberal in nature? It’s not about providing balance- it’s about revealing the truth when those in power want it hidden. So if the few watchdogs left in journalism are pointing out all kinds of concerning things about your candidate, does that say more about candidate or the watchdogs?

 
 

You know, I could regurgitate wingnut talking points in polysyllabic words just as well as this fuckwit. Anyone know where I can get a job like his? It would sure beat working for a living.

Everyone knew that Walter Cronkite, from his gilded throne at CBS news, helped to alter the course of the Vietnam War, when, in the post-Tet depression, he prematurely declared the war unwinnible.

Yeah, Vic, that’s it. Walter Cronkite lost us the war. The Vietnamese had nothing to do with it.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

VDH’s points:
1. Imagine the reaction of the New York Times or the Washington Post had John McCain renounced his promise to participate in public campaign financing,,,
This champion of campaign financing that you’re talking about, isn’t he the same guy that used public financing to secure a loan and then dropped out of the program? Who blew through $150K of campaign dollars for personal use by his running mate? I’d have to say that based on the media respons to those obvious violations of the Campaign Law bearing John McCain’s name, the reaction from the Times and the Post would be near non-existant.

2.Imagine the reaction of Newsweek or Time had moose-hunting mom Sarah Palin claimed FDR went on television to address the nation as President in 1929,,,
I’m not sure what the hell you’re talking about. If you’re trying to claim that we know more about Sarah Palin than Joe Biden, then you are a fucking moran. Seriously, I can’t remember who it was, but someone pointed out that Joe the Plumber’s Assistant has had more press conferences than Sarah Palin. All that stuff we do know about Palin? Because: She’s publicizing it herself or they’re things that represent gross abuse of power. Seriously, you think Palin’s being treated badly by the press? Imagine if a (D) candidate said “In what respect Charlie?”

3. Imagine the reaction of CNN or NBC had John McCain’s pastor and spiritual advisor of 20 years been revealed as a white supremacist who damned a multiracial United States,,,
Fucking Jeremiah Wright. You fucking conservatards have a two minute clip culled from decades of preaching. Holy fucking shit.

And you’re trying to claim that there was no coverage of Jeremiah Wright. Fuckity figgity fuck.

But sure – I’ll answer your stupid ass kweschun. There would be about as much coverage as there was about McCain’s connections to Rod Parsley or G. Gordon Liddy – i.e. almost none.

4. Imagine the reaction of NPR and PBS had John McCain advocated something like abolishing all capital gains taxes, or repealing incomes taxes in favor of a national retail sales tax.
Holy moly, this slight increase on the marginal tax rate is on par with abolishing all capital gains taxes or repacing all income tax with a sales tax. I mean WOW – what can you say to crazy ass bullshit like that?

5. made poopy
Yes you did Victor. Good for you.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

I don’t know why I spell non-existent as non-existant. I blam my love of first person shooters.

 
 

The shorter originally went like this.

  • “Number 16!” [audience applauds]
 
 

Venereal Disease Hanson had an op-ed in today’s SF Chronicle that seemed like a desperate attempt to spread blame for the current economic crisis equally — that is to say, Wall Street is almost as culpable as “politically correct Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.”

Dick.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

The saddest part is that VDH is one of the smarter conservatives, he probably has sixteen different rants. Poor Pantload would be hard pressed to write four different columns.

But then again. they all basically come down to “Number 2!” [Audience pats winger on the head]

 
 

Imagine the reaction of CNN or NBC had John McCain’s pastor and spiritual advisor of 20 years endorsing religious leader been revealed as a white supremacist who damned a multiracial United States anti-semite dominionist….

Well, we saw that didn’t we? Briefly. Very briefly.

FWIW – I think the reason we didn’t hear anything about John McCain’s pastor and spiritual advisor of 20 years is that….he doesn’t have one. IIRC, he’s not a church member.

 
 

Aw crap. I messed up the strikethrough again.

Imagine the reaction of CNN or NBC had John McCain’s pastor and spiritual advisor of 20 years endorsing religious leader been revealed as a white supremacist who damned a multiracial United States anti-semite dominionist….

 
 

“Number 16!” [audience applauds]

Is that from that joke about “It’s not the joke, it’s how you tell it?”

 
 

“Number 16!” [audience applauds]

Which is a reference to…?

 
 

Bubba said,

November 3, 2008 at 19:32

DF Manno-
I think you hit the nail on the head. The Founders set up all kinds of protections against authoritarian rule, including checks and balances and freedom for the press.

It’s a shame we’ve got a free press owned mainly by a few billionaires (and TV is even worse).

I was unaware of the existence of McClatchy until the last few years. They’ve done what the WaPo and the NYT used to do: report the news.

 
 

What’s with the wingnuts nd imagining things? They are really into it. They love to envision outrage and hate all around them and in everyone.

Project a little too much, I think.

 
 

“Number 16!” [audience applauds]

Which is a reference to…?

I think I’ve heard this as a joke at a comedian’s convention: all the comedian had to do was give the joke number to get a reaction.

 
 

Is that from that joke about “It’s not the joke, it’s how you tell it?”

Yeah, the very one.

It’s funny in the abstract, but try setting it up…

 
 

The myth of objectivity arose after WWII with the effort to professionalize journalism

And we’ve seen how well that worked out.

 
 

I don’t know why I spell non-existent as non-existant. I blam my love of first person shooters.

HERETIC! HERETIC!

A true liberal wouldn’t play those … horrible…

oh, wait, I play ’em too.

Nevahmind.

 
 

3. Imagine the reaction of CNN or NBC had John McCain’s pastor and spiritual advisor of 20 years been revealed as a white supremacist who damned a multiracial United States,,,

Fucking Jeremiah Wright. You fucking conservatards have a two minute clip culled from decades of preaching. Holy fucking shit.

Saying something not as bad as what fundegelicals say following every fucking tragedy.

 
 

Is that from that joke about “It’s not the joke, it’s how you tell it?”

Yeah, the very one.

It’s funny in the abstract, but try setting it up…

[slaps forehead]

Thanks.

 
 

It’s funny in the abstract, but try setting it up…

I have, and failed because of the very thing the joke is about. It was very meta.

 
 

made my brain go to sleep.

But…but… my parents told me they sent your brain to live with a nice family on a farm! O.O

And, more on topic, D.F. Manno’s point is good but I still hate to use the intentions of the founding fathers as a basis for anything really… I feel like they would have some awkward opinions about Obama even running against McCain at *all*, for starters, let alone how their campaigns get covered by the press…

 
 

The saddest part is that VDH is one of the smarter conservatives, he probably has sixteen different rants. Poor Pantload would be hard pressed to write four different columns.

Nah: VDH is a whore at best and a make-believe scholar at worst. And I will not rest until this link is mandatory in any article discussing him.

 
 

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12. Lithium, Strontium, Aluminum, Silicon, Lead, Vanadium, Arsenic, Bromine (trace amounts)

 
 

VDH is a waste of:

Survery says…!

TIME

 
Rusty Shackleford (not that one)
 

Imagine if some unlikely thing happened.

See?

My point is proved.

 
 

“The myth of objectivity arose after WWII with the effort to professionalize journalism”

And we’ve seen how well that worked out.

About as well as the effort to professionalize real estate salespersons?

 
 

So this guy gets goes to prison, and his first night there, he hears another inmate call out: “Number five!” and all the other inmates laugh. I minute later, another one yells “Number sixteen!” and again everyone laughs.

The next day, the man’s cell mate explains it. “You see, we’ve all been in here so long, we’ve all heard all the same thirty-five jokes so many times, we know them by number.”

That night the new guy tries it. “Number sixteen!” he yells, but no one laughs. He tries “Number five!” but again, no response at all.

His cell mate just says, “I guess some people just can’t tell a joke.”

 
 

Hey alec, thanks for the link to the Gary Brecher piece (http://www.exile.ru/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=7843&IBLOCK_ID=35). I’d forgotten how good Gary is at takedowns … and what a jerk ol’ V.D. is.

 
 

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