Shorter (Und Fetter) Ahnuld
Posted on November 1st, 2008 by Tintin
Schwarzenegger mocks Obama as campaign home stretch heats up
- Look at ze girlie man, Barry, who zinks he ist goinck into der Vhite Haus! Barry, I am goinck tü pump (clap) YOU UP! Lük at zose skinnersche legz!! I am going tü machst ü dü some skvats. Und zose scrawnersche armz. Mein Gott im Himmelreich!!ein!! I machst him dü die bizepen kurlen like I dü. I machst der schwartze intü ein mannlische mann like me! Ein mannlische mann like der alte Großvater McCain, der next president of der U.S.A!!!!!ein!!elf!!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
That’s a terrible sight to see first thing in the morning. Blech!
His political powers seem to have gone the way of his muscles…
Instapundit sez:
“ARNOLD IN OHIO: Work on those pecs, Barack.”
My eyes! Ze goggles do nuzzink!
The fact is that with the Obama campaign ignoring Pennsylvania, I have no doubt that McCain will win Pennsylvania.
This race is within the margin of error nationally an John McCain is proving once again that he is the ultimate comeback artist.
There can be no question of it! McCain is also moving ahead on all of the moons of Jupiter and has built up a commanding lead in Cloud-Cuckoo Land.
Totally jazzed, I’m sure.
I see what you did there.
“We are pretty jazzed up about what we are seeing in the movement of this election,” Davis told reporters on a conference call.
“And of course that big handful of Ritalin™ we take every monring doesn’t hurt either! Wheee! Why CAN’T I SIT STIIIIILLL!”
10.31.08 — 11:16PM
Losing It
Minority Leader John Boehner, who may be looking for a job soon, unless no one else wants the one he currently has, called Barack Obama “chicken shit” in a campaign appearance in Oxford, Ohio.
–Josh Marshall
Those thuglican congresscritters. So classy.
John “I’m working on my tan” Boner.
The “ein!” “elf!” thing is just totally funny.
Oh good lord.
Huh huh huh, “Grossfarter”.
“We are pretty jazzed up about what we are seeing in the movement of this election,” Davis told reporters on a conference call.
Me too. And pretty soon America will be flushing these turds right down the toilet where they belong.
Holy crap, WTF? His body looked chiseled in T3, what the hell happened in the last few years?
GR#2 – Surely you don’t expect a sitting governor to continue a steady regimen of steroid abuse.
I mean exercise. Yeah. That’s it.
Well, at least Schwarzenegger refrained from sharing his ideas on people of mixed racial ancestry and their temperament.
Yeah, but the rest is horrific. What the hell is dü, intü, etc? Swedish?
It’s just as disturbing as the photo.
Who the fuck ate my comment? Damn you WordPress
Jesse Ventura becomes the Minnesota Governor, then Arnold wins it in California.
If Al Franken gets elected to the Senate, who will be California’s next Senator? My guess: Pauly Shore.
Wow, that picture makes the quivering platter of half-congealed fat I had for breakfast that much more unfortunate.
If Al Franken gets elected to the Senate, who will be California’s next Senator?
Don’t write off Jerry Brown. He’s been working his way up through the CA government, and is almost ready for a big state-wide office.
Why are you giving me those funny looks?
Bowel movement conservatives.
Heh
Yikes, man. Well, he is getting on in years, yup yup. Speaking of yups, there is a poll up at PBS ” is Sarah Palin qualified for the job of V.P.?” and is currently running just a bit ahead on the “yes” votes. Whaa? Anyhoo, here’s the link, in case anyone is in the mood to poll crash.
(http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html)
Everyone remembers ‘California Uber Alles’, but no one remembers “We’ve Got a Bigger Problem Now”.
Also, I keep telling my brother that he needs to avoid getting all buffed out, because keeping in shape is fine but getting that muscular is bad in the long run: you may be able to keep 200 extra pounds of muscle for a decade or so, but inevitably your metabolism slows down and all of a sudden people are doing Chris Farley bits around you and you don’t know why.
And nothing’s sadder than a fat old man.
If memory serves, that picture was taken a year or so after he was elected. Poor Maria. One day she’s married to Herr Tautbunz, next thing she knows she’s bedding down with the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Yeah, but the rest is horrific. What the hell is dü, intü, etc? Swedish?
Vas? Dü cannot verschtehen das fake Germanic accent? Was ist los? Mit der schlagsahne und Hassenpfeiffer unter den linden!
Please tell me that that is a photoshop of some old codger’s body on Arnold. That is otherwise a sad, sad picture.
Here’s hoping Arnold has the next eight years to keep checking out Barack.
The fact is, liberal media is biased toward Obama. Real America will push back this weekend. Thank you Arnold and Boner.
Please tell me that that is a photoshop of some old codger’s body on Arnold. That is otherwise a sad, sad picture.
Doesn’t look like it. The upper body looks very Ahnuld (still muscular as hell, for a 60+ man). Just looks like he let his abdomen go. But I can’t believe this is the same guy as in T3 just 5 years ago. He was still totally ripped.
Alec, come on! Of course I remmeber “We’ve Got a Bigger Problem Now”…!
Last call for alcohol
Last call for freedom of speech
Drink up, happy hour is now enforced by law
Don’t forget our house special
It’s called the Tricky Dicky screwdriver
That’s one part Jack Daniels
One part Purple KoolAid
And a jigger of formaldehyde
From the jar of Adolf Hitler’s brain
We’ve got in the back storeroom…”
I prefer that version better because the guitars (and lyrics!) are much better.
Oh, and it baffles the hell out of my that Arnie’s still got a Austrian accent after ALL these years.
That pic is a warning to us all. Odd that his wife is Skeletor.
“And then we’re going to make him do some biceps curls to beef up those scrawny little arms,” Schwarzenegger said…
“…we’re going to make him strong just like my buddy John McCain,” Schwarzenegger continued, as he excitedly grabbed McCain’s arm, which promptly snapped in two, setting off a chain reaction of skeletal collapse that left the governor alone amidst a deep cloud of dry bone dust.
No wonder Maria has such a small appetite.
Lex, that kind of connubial combo has “eating disorders” written all over it. A his and her’s set if you will, each to the opposite end of the spectrum.
Or maybe he’s just gotten lazy and she’s got a tapeworm.
Stupid remarks like these will just make the gloating more fun when that beanpole guy wins. I don’t know where to go first though. Should I troll the standard wingnut sites first like Gateway Pundit, TIDOS, Ace? Or should I go mock hte PUMAs straight away? Tough call.
You got something against Sydney Greenstreet?
This reminds me that there was not-that-joking talk about changing the Constitution so Arnie could run for president, what with not being an American citizen and all.
Kinda sheds a whole new light on that bullshit birth certificate thing.
I have less problems with Arnie than I do with most Repubs — but I would recommend the documentary Bigger, Stronger, Faster which puts his whole career in a new, not very flattering light.
So is Aunte Zeituni going to sink us now? They probably had that in cold storage for weeks.
Human growth hormone is a helluva drug.
So is Aunte Zeituni going to sink us now?
No, but it will be used as the excuse…
So that’s what he looks post-steroids.
His bones are so weakened by years of steroid abuse he can’t even set foot on a ski slope without breaking a leg.
There are 85 year old women with osteoperosis in better shape that he’s in.
I dunno, Arnold. You’re going to have to be going to the Feds, hat in hand, begging pathetically for billions of bailout dollars in the coming year. These are some pretty childish words you’re setting yourself up to eat. Fortunately for you, Obama isn’t the vindictive type to call you, in public, “girlie man” in an over-the-top fake accent when you show up to grovel, but he’s a bigger man than me.
Gary Ruppert is a retard.
That is all.
The upper body looks very Ahnuld (still muscular as hell, for a 60+ man).
Other than the budding man-boobs.
So is Aunte Zeituni going to sink us now?
Seriously, think about that statement for a minute. If Rev. Wright and Bill Ayers didn’t do it, why would she?
I’ve honestly been thinking about it, and I just can’t see this changing a single person’s mind.
Wait, is that really him? No P-shop or nothin’? Huh.
And is it me, or do his breasts and navel make it look like a big spectral Homer Simpson has appeared on his torso?
Obviously her whereabouts are known to Immigration officials or they couldn’t have been leaked to the McCain campaign?
The fact they know where she lives and she still is not in custody means her status isn’t cut and dry.
Was Obama aware of her status? Hell, her presence in Boston?
If he knew and was working to keep her here then yeah he’ll have problems.
If he wasn’t aware then he should find out what the hell is going on and then update the rest of us.
The fact is, Immigration officials know she is here. Evidenced by the fact that someone in the Bush Administration released that information to the press and the McCain campaign.
Sad situation. Still doesn’t disqualify Barack Obama from the Presidency.
Barack has been a pillar of confidence, cool, and level headedness this entire campaign. McCain represents desperation, low road politics and putting self and your own personal aspirations far in front of country. There is no limit to the depths John McCain won’t sink to in an effort to win this election. He gave up country first a long time ago. Schwarzenegger, an alleged racist, who’s been critical of Sarah Palin and John McCain, now is being utilized as McCain’s saving grace. Politics are such a joke.
And is it me, or do his breasts and navel make it look like a big spectral Homer Simpson has appeared on his torso?
Oh, man! It’s just like the Virgin Mary on the drywall!
I think those swimsuit pics were allegedly taken before T3. Either way, and even if he used half the ‘roids in the world, the prep he did for T3 must have been insane.
It’s the speedo. Shouldn’t be wearing the speedo. Nope.
The saddest part about all of this is that the Aunt of a Senator for the State of Illinois was being harassed by Immigration.
Why is she having “Immigration Problems” if she is the Aunt of a Senator?
Any day now Michele Malkin will be out stalking the frail, 56 year old Aunt Zeituni.
owlbear: You just simmer down. It’s gonna be a long long weekend, then another two whole days. Now just breathe deeply in and out, nice and slow.
Wax on, wax off.
got it 🙂
“…than a fat old man…”
“…frail, 56 year old…”
“…man boobs…”
Hokay. Fine.
It’s a rainy day anyway.
I’ll just go back to bed until April…
mikey
With The Arnold out campaigning for McInsane, who the hell is running his disaster of a state? It seems that “executive” experience is way over blown. Especially when one considers that Bible Spice and the Germinator are governors. How hard can it be? She’s a former “beauty” queen (runner up), and he’s a former “actor”.
And then there’s St. Ronnie. Ugh.
Someone might want to remind Michelle Malkin that when Jerome Corsi went to Kenya to investigate the mystery surrounding Obama’s birth certificate, immigration officials tossed him out the first day because he didn’t have a “work permit.”
He looks like Dr. Zoidberg out of his shell.
I don’t think the fat’s all that bad, I’ve seen worse. It’s those red splotches that disturb me. Is his wife feeding on him? That would explain a lot.
LEAVE ARNOLD ALONE!!
Mr. Schwarzenegger, there is STILL time to make a Conan 3!!
THERE IS STILL TIME!!!
With The Arnold out campaigning for McInsane, who the hell is running his disaster of a state?
Hey, we’re still better than Alabama …
Speaking of which, how come no one else has mentioned Charles Barkley’s theoretical 2012 run for guv’ner in AL? I would probably throw some money his way just for kicks.
Sara Palin, Moosinator!
GR#2
Doesn’t look like it. The upper body looks very Ahnuld (still muscular as hell, for a 60+ man). Just looks like he let his abdomen go. But I can’t believe this is the same guy as in T3 just 5 years ago. He was still totally ripped.
Mebbe T3 was photoshopped.
FYWP!
Ok, How about this pic?
WTF is arnold doing? who convinced him that publicly appearing to support a presidential candidate who will lose in CA in a landslide and not win the presidency and dissing the candidate that the overwhelming majority of CA residents are going to vote for is good politics?
Holy Fuck!
Victoria Jackson Obama A “Communist,” Like “Castro In Cuba, The Guy In China”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/01/victoria-jackson-obama-a_n_139962.html
The picture looks okay to me for a 60+ year old man. Even though he’s a Republican.
There are far smarter ukelele ladies.
All this time I thought Victoria Jackson was acting. It never occurred to me that anyone could really be that dumb, wow. So… I guess that means McCain has the mindless woman-child vote locked up.
Arnold doesn’t give a shit, chris. He’s done.
He discovered that when the scriptwriters don’t make the story work out in your favor its a LOT harder to get things to come out the way you want them to. Especially in California, where a flawed initiative process and a fundamentally schizophrenic political leadership have created a condition where you not only can’t fix anything, you can’t even tinker around the edges.
He’s going to leave sacramento and from there he’ll be a figure in national republican politics. He’s clear of any significant bush taint, and throwing in with the geezer at this point isn’t going to have a negative impact on the way the party views, or uses him.
If the republican party throws out the neocons and the worst of the corporatists and randian free-marketers, and backs away from the worst of the anti-science god botherers, there will certainly be a place for him at the table. If instead, after the 11/08 disaster they decide to move hard right, embracing their party’s worst instincts of exclusion and bigotry, they will have such a small constituency by 2012 that they may not even matter…
mikey
Bubba,
Pet peeve: It’s “ukulele”
Both spellings are okay.
I am actually of the opinion that Arnold will be the leader of the Republican Party within the next few years. They will have to partially discard the Christian fundies and start from scratch with someone who can at least pretend to care about the environment and doesn’t waste his time on the abortion issue.
Thankfully, he can’t run for president.
Bubba,
They would probably disagree with you in Hawaii
Not in the dictionary though. English is a great language.
I’d like to see McCain do a few squats in Ohio without toppling over.
I think the Republican party deserves to disappear, mikey.
Wasn’t Barry Goldwater the last national GOP politician who didn’t embrace the racism, rethuglican Jeebus, and/or the neoconmen?
The good government, lower spending, balanced budget types are the least powerful group in the gooper borg. They’re useful for talking points, and none of it ever gets implemented, thanks to the influence of all those other scumbags.
I’m hoping that Barry Hussein X takes us out of Iraq, pronto, and the 10 billion a month we are squandering there is used for something useful.
How about WPA scale projects to do something long lasting and useful for us all, like high speed rail links across the country?
another gem from Arnie
Remember Arnold calling anyone for regulation ‘economic girly men.”
Fuck you Kindergarten Cop. Ass hammer.
because the election is about making america a movie with lots of pow and kerblam.
If you were in a POW cell, who would you want in that cell with you? Do you want a man of eloquence or a man of proven courage?”
Jesus Christ, obviously I’d like a guy who could convince someone to give me food.
arnie thinks eloquence is the art of arranging doilies on side tables.
You know, when the shit hits the fan I don’t think I want to be anywhere near a hero. That said, I would vote for a guy who could outrun a slo-mo explosion, because that == awesum!!
Let’s see, who would I want as a cell mate. Someone who can communicate with others, negotiate respectfully, build alliances based on common goals? Or a hot tempered “maverick” who’s out for himself and is quick to take offense?
For the love of God, Arnold! Put your shirt back on!!
I sure as hell wouldn’t want Arnold as a cell mate. Steroid withdrawl isn’t pretty.
Mrs. Arnold endorsed Obama. I seen it on the youtubies.
I’m only guessing but this must make the breakfast table a little fraught?
Jeez that’s a dreadful sight to behold every time I click on this page. Have mercy!
For some reason, I just love this quote:
There’s something about a woman named Ms. Mitten saying such a stupid thing that warms my heart.
“Anxiety over Obama win sent my sis-in-law to the Hospital ER Friday. Any Freeper health complaints?”
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2121931/posts
I’m surprised this bit of freeper lore wasn’t entitled – Obama nearly kills white woman, gays to blame too!
From Loneoak’s link, concentrated ultra-stupid:
BTW, they’re poking fun at Ahnold with side-by-side pics of him and Obama (plus an unidentified old white fat white dude in a saggy Speedo who looks vaguely like McCain and I’d rather they had left out of the montage, you have been warned) at the GOS.
His body looked chiseled in T3, what the hell happened in the last few years?
There is such a thing as “body doubles.” You’d be surprised at how well they can work them in there. Plus, CGI.
Don’t tell the wingnuts, but a Canadian plays key role in Obama campaign
Yes, we’re going to take over yer country.
Mr. Schwarzenegger, there is STILL time to make a Conan 3!!
Or ‘Hercules in Washington’, for that matter.
Palin gets pranked by a Canadian radio station:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/11/1/151958/557/831/649050
It sounds real …
And is it me, or do his breasts and navel make it look like a big spectral Homer Simpson has appeared on his torso?
Every time TBogg posts the Hewitt-Manboobs image, I’m reminded of these people.
It’s the way his nipples follow you around the room.
t’s the speedo. Shouldn’t be wearing the speedo. Nope.
One bit of American advice he forgot when he dove into being one of us.
Christ on a crutch, imagine being stuck in a prison cell for years with any leading Republican.
Or with someone who whistles.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/USElection/2008/11/01/7275526-cp.html
Palin admits she was pranked.
Damn It!1!!
By “weird looking young people” he means young singles who aren’t married with families yet. Yes, it’s true you see more families outside the city centre because that’s where the more affordable family housing is. These folks commute into town to work.
It takes a moron to vote for one and McMillan is a moron.
Mikey:
Please never use the words “significant Bush taint” every again.
Careful, there. You’re treading on very thin ice…
Of course, the ice is about the only thing.
Support the troops? McCain does not.
For those who haven’t heard, John McCain has just been endorsed by Dick Cheney. That should turn the election around right there.
Even as my fingers typed the words, I considered re-phrasing. But my brain was incapable of actually constructing an image from that, other, perhaps, than ghotse, so I shrugged it off and moved on. But I suppose I expected a certain amount of abuse over it…
mikey
Jeez, now I’m actually thinking about whether significant Bush taint is a worse mental image than goatse. Not so much what I’d like to be doing right now.
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Who just broke the innert00bz? Was the word ‘taint’ involved?
*dancing badgers* Developing * rabid pelicans*
Obama:
Cheney’s kiss of death, good for the laughs.
But I can’t believe this is the same guy as in T3 just 5 years ago. He was still totally ripped.
You must let me tell you all about how they make movies some day. It may surprise you, but some of the things you see on the screen are not real! Cool, huh? Why, the body you saw in T3 may not even be Arnolds! Impossible, you say?
Why, the body you saw in T3 may not even be Arnolds!
This is indeed the case. The body is Julia Roberts’.
There is such a thing as “body doubles.” You’d be surprised at how well they can work them in there. Plus, CGI.
If it wasn’t real, it wouldn’t be up there on the screen. There a law about that! It would be unfair, and that’s why they had the Fairness Doctrine. Now do you see why it had to be repealed? That Fairness Doctrine threw a hell of a crimp into the movie biz.
Because having this face on his campaign will really turn things around.
I visit this site a couple of times a day – leaving Arnold’s pic up for so many hours constitutes inhuman punishment:
Please, please post something else -Palin hunting?, fine – currently, your site hurts.
bahaha
dick cheney as a child
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Random/dick-cheney-as-a-child.jpg
Does this ease the pain?
OT:
You stay classy, McCain supporters!
http://is.gd/5t4v
Shirley Nagel of Grosse Pointe Farms, Mich., handed out candy Friday only to those who shared her support for the Republican presidential candidate and his running mate Sarah Palin. Others were turned away empty-handed.
TV station WJBK says a sign outside Nagel’s house warned: “No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.”
I trounce your Putin manliness with this, J.
dick cheney as a child
LOL! Add a Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit, and it’d be perfect.
TV station WJBK says a sign outside Nagel’s house warned: “No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.”
Not enough flaming dog shit in the state, I bet.
“No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.”
If they try to get candy, Nagel will personally crawl down their chimney on Christmas Eve and poo in their stockings. Christmas stockings if they’re so-called “Christians”, or ordinary socks if they’re heathens.
Geez, Arnold looks like that bloated, floating dude in “Dune”.
Damn,I’ve got a body just like Arnold’s, and I didn’t have to life weights or take steroids.
Was the Terminator nursing a child when this pic was taken? That would explain the hanging and full dugs…
Palin gets pranked by a Canadian radio station
We’re in yr electionz, trolling yr canadatez.
Since I have this name I must comment on this thread.
Lesley,
The article in the Vancouver Sun that spotlights McMillan: It says he is from Snohomish. Just for reference sake, Snohomish is a more of a rural area than a suburb. It is your typical LIV, driving Ford F250’s, racist, Fundamental Xianist, xenophobic quasi-dairy-farm-community. All the women have big-hair, too. The only time they want outsiders in their community is when you are shopping in their antique stores, which are up and down the one main street. The main street is kinda quaint with wooden boardwalks, but get out of town before dark.
When Arnold based his party affiliation on a televised debate that never happened, I never something wasn’t quite right with him.
Please, please post something else
Ohh-kayy..What do we have?
Oh, this’ll be perfect.
A big greasy turd resting on a pizza pie.
The article in the Vancouver Sun that spotlights McMillan: It says he is from Snohomish.
Yeah, well, it’d be even worse if he were from Cle Elum.