ZOGB!
If nothing else, the Internet has taught us that whatever we’ve just invented, somebody else has usually thought of it already.
And insert clever transition here, because oh God if it isn’t Gateway Pundit again, being all nyeah in that same frickin’ aaah, with the nnnh.
ZOGBY— McCAIN TAKES LEAD OVER OBAMA!!!!
** Gulp **
Drudge is reporting:ZOGBY SATURDAY: McCain outpolled Obama 48% to 47% in Friday poll. He is beginning to cut into Obama’s lead among independents, is now leading among blue collar voters, has strengthened his lead among investors and among men, and is walloping Obama among NASCAR voters. Joe the Plumber may get his license after all…
The AP reported today that 1 in 7 voters are still persuadable.
This is NOT good news for the Obama Campaign.UPDATE: Maybe this had something to do with the sudden McCain-Palin surge
Wink-Wink—
It must be difficult not being able to draw continuities between DARK TIME and LIGHT TIME, such that when the sun unexpectedly goes down in the evening it’s EATED BY THE SUN-EAT SERPENT, and when it startlingly comes up in the morning it’s MIRACLE HOORAY LIGHT. And then ONO! IT’S EATED BY THE EAT SERPENT, and then O HAI, IT’S MIRACLE HOORAY LIGHT, and on and on throughout your whole gaping lessoff existence — a ‘lessoff’ being like a moron except not even one.
We can be thankful that for most of us, here in the most advanced civilization the world has ever known, with unparalleled opportunities for self-refinement and the pursuit of practical reason, when something weird and unexpected arises — such as an election poll that gives a result unreflected by any other such poll — we go “Dude, that’s actually weird,” and are like, “You know, maybe there’s a reason.”
At this point a prediction is in order, and we feel that we can give it with some confidence. Barack Obama may win the presidential election, or else not win. We predict that this will depend on two things: cause and also effect — and that it will not be the result of building an airstrip out of palm fronds and sitting in a wicker control tower wearing a set of headphones made out of two halves of a coconut shell, willing the planes to return and to deliver a bounty of cargo.
Of this we are greater than 97.2% sure.
We were 97.5% sure until the mistake in the Kentucky numbers was discovered.
To be fair, Sadly, No! is 100% right 68% of the time.
Somehow I like that a lot more than 68% right 100% of the time.
Drudge’s house of cards is officially collapsing.
The InterT00bz – Ass – Hattery is finally in passe mode. Hey, the Sadly-nauts have known it for a long time. Everyone else is finally catching up.
ZOGB! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR3eUjD6y6o
As for those 1-in-7 undecideds, are you sure that, if they’re undecided after all this time, they’re actually going to stop being undecided come Tuesday? Sure, they could get to the polling booth and say, “Yaknow, I haven’t had enough excitement over the past eight years, and if John McCain does for the country what he did for the bank bailout negotiations, we’ll have plenty of yuks over the next four years, or until he kicks off and we get President Palin, whichever comes first.” Then again, they could go for Obama, or Bob Nader, or Ralph Barr, or Washington Irving, or Irving Washington. But odds are that they say the hell with it, leave it blank, and go hit the bars.
I’m scared. My kingdom has been darkened. My kingdom for the return of the sun!
Ron Paul is still on the ballot in many Western states.
Favorite comment from the 538 post…
Sorry, motherfuckers. This house is made of brick.
Solid
SUN GOD IS HUNGRY
SUN GOD REKWIREZ HARTZ
SUN GOD REKWIREZ
HARTZBRAINZ!What’s all this about? Obama’s going to win.
Read my lips:
Obama’s.
Going.
To.
Win.
So why pay any attention to DumDum Drudge’s caterwauling in the first place? He’s just trying to prop up McPain and Failin to give the illusion that this will be a close one.
It won’t. The One wins, hands down. (Of course, if you cross Pres. Obama it’s “Hands behind your back” haha)
So buck up, Sadlynaughts. It’s almost time to PARTAY!
SUN GOD REKWIREZ BRAINZ!
Well, Sun God is going to go mighty fucking hungry if McCain gets elected, then, Sun God should make Obama Glorious People’s Leader to ensure brainz supply.
Ron Paul is still on the ballot in many Western states.
Oh, well, that’s where all the secret government UFO bases are, as well as the cave-tunnel systems for the Satanic fascist lizard-men who live in the hollow earth. So, you see, it makes perfect sense.
Key comment from the Zogby poll:
UTICA, New York — Republican John McCain made a small gain against Democrat Barack Obama and has pulled back within the margin of error, now trailing Obama by five points, 49.1% to 44.1%, the latest Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby daily tracking telephone poll shows.
So for ONE DAY OUT OF THE LAST THREE (Halloween, to boot, when most people aren;t even thinking about the election and are out with the kids), McCain slipped past for a teensy tiny lead.
I’m betting today’s tracking poll, the one after the hangover, shows Obama ahead by ten.
This house is made of brick.
MIghty, mighty.
“I’m winning, Spongebob!”*
So, 1 in 7 either really can’t discern a significant difference between the chicken dinner and the plate of shit with broken glass, or they’re thinking that maybe they can order the shit without the broken glass because they really don’t like chicken.
MaineMan – Or they think the shit with broken glass just might turn out to be steak and onions.
I do not fucking get it. I just don’t. No, that’s not true. The undecideds are people who’ve never had anything bad happen to them as a result of bad leadership. They’ve got a job that isn’t affected by the economy, they’re from demographics unaffected (so far) by drooling so-cons. Everything in their life is … nice. Or at least OK. They’ve never had to worry.
Or they’re those dumb fucks who go around saying “Weeeeell, all politicians are alike.”
The InterT00bz – Ass – Hattery is finally in passe mode. Hey, the Sadly-nauts have known it for a long time.
Yes indeedy, and thanks be to the sun-eating serpent for that.
Seriously, guys. I don’t know how I could have survived this insane campaign season without your astute deconstructions and dipshittery-exposings. You are a national treasure, at least 97.5 percent of the time.
Ron Paul is still on the ballot in many Western states.
Bob Barr was on the ballot here in the glorious border state when I early-voted last week. We have this cumbersome dial-a-letter voting dealio, and apparently some salt-of-the-earth types may have confusedly voted for “B-A-R-R-A-C-K (Obama)” instead of “(Bob) B-A-R-R.” As Tenn. has been totally written off as hopelessly red, I’m harboring a secret fantasy that B-A-R-R-Y may be a stealth winner down here!! HAW haw! And then the serpent will eat the sun again.
Can’t the serpent just eat Palin on it’s way? Oh, “Team Sarah” as well I suppose.
I haven’t trusted Zogby since they confidently predicted a Kerry win.
I sincerely and enthusiastically support Republicans placing a great deal of their hopes, energies, and financial decisions over the next few days on selected Zogby polls.
Arky –
Also, there are those who truly believe that the federal government functions best when he Executive and Legislative branches are controlled by different parties and that Clinton never would have balanced the budget without a Republican Congress to restrain him. But they can’t decide whether or not a Congress controlled by Democrats would adequately buffer the major suck that a McCain/Palin Admin would be.
Seriously, I actually know a couple people like this.
It was amusing to see fivethirtyeight.com take apart Drudge like a finely-tuned taking-apart thing.
…they can’t decide whether or not a Congress controlled by Democrats would adequately buffer the major suck that a McCain/Palin Admin would be.
No Congress could. McPalin would just follow Bush’s example of ignoring Congress entirely.
I can only imagine the domestic and global consequences had FDR faced a unified, majority Hoover Republican Congress in trying (a) pull the country as a whole out of the Depression; (b) drag the American South out of its god awful, hookworm-infested, starving mill worker, share cropper, mud road backwardness; and (c) fight WWII.
People who want the Executive to be balanced by Congress don’t seem to grasp that for the last decade and a half, the Republican Party has been little more than a criminal conspiracy bent on shredding the Constitution, thieving the public purse for the ultra-rich, and destroying any last remains of citizen protections from power.
It’s akin to people who feel afraid that their food might be too pure of sh*t, so since they’ve been dying of sh*t contaminated food for the past 7.5 years, they feel like totally getting sh*t out of their food might be too radical a change for their delicate, sh*t-stained systems.
Truth:
Aaaaahahahahahahahahahah
Hubby and I know of 2 undecideds. One is a silly little rich girl who has yet to find that life does indeed entail the eating of more than a few shit sandwiches. The other is one who does the “all politicians are criminals” schtick.
The former told me she couldn’t decide; I told her that I was going with the one less likely to get us into yet another budget-busting useless war. Hubby used the Supreme Court argument. Both seemed to actually have an effect so keep talking to these people folks, even if still being undecided at this date seems more like evidence of being brain-dead.
A lot of people I know who are chronically politically undecided basically feel that to ‘decide’ on a politician is again to placing your entire faith in that politician, to be a sucker for all their lies, and by god they ain’t gonna fall for no more god damn lies, although they figger they’ll decide somethin’ or other once’t they get in the votin’ booth.
We have this cumbersome dial-a-letter voting dealio
Oh for fuck’s fucking sake. We have really got to get back to a piece of paper with a couple of boxes where you put a checkmark. Why do we make voting so fucking complicated?
Drudge tomorrow:
WSJ interoffice poll shows GOP landslide in the cards. Developing…
Me: Seriously. It took me about 15-20 seconds to figure the damn thing out, and I’m smart and stuff.
Because it interferes with peoples’ ability to vote.
Joe the Plumber may get his license after all…
Oh, so the only thing standing in Joe’s way of getting his license is Barack Obama? Poor, poor, Joe, being victimized by the guy who wants to give him a tax cut.
Or maybe it’s a one-day result from a poll from an unreliable pollster using an outdated model that, and stay with me here because this is really important, STILL HAS OBAMA FUCKING LEADING BY FIVE FUCKING POINTS, and we haven’t even gotten to the FUCKING ELECTORAL COLLEGE, where McCain has as much a chance of winning as Obama has of getting like 420 electoral votes. This shit is over. McCain has no chance. Zero. Zip. The math does not add up, no matter how hard you whack off to whatever Drudge feeds you.
The one undecided voter I know actually has very well defined political beliefs, he just doesn’t see either Obama or McCain as someone who is in line with what he believes. Which is true, since he’s a pacifist Christian sort-of communist who believes that both war and abortion are evil. And really he’s only undecided about whether to vote for Obama or write in someone obscure.
And this just in from Nate Silver! Know how McCain’s gonna win the Presidency of the Universe by winning in PA (which he won’t, but still)? Oops!
That’s right. Even if McCain wins PA, which he won’t, he’ll have an 8+% chance of winning. Awesome. Feel the McMentum, fuckaaa.
Truthiness said, a while back, effectively that Obama didn’t have a hope in hell of winning the Democratic nomination. Now, he says Obama won’t win the general election. Guys, I’m worried. This means that Obama will merely achieve a win by embarrassingly large majority, rather than a wingnut-crushing landslide-for-all-times win. 🙁
Twoof:
You are teaching the future to suck and the children to swallow.
I hope you boil in a bucket of gypsy shit.
[…] new word. Kudos to the inventively funny and always intelligent Sadly, No! […]
Do not underestimate the appeal of cargo-cult reasoning!
Only thing I’ve been hearing from people who really DO have an impact – the Obama team-leaders – has been to the effect of “well, we’re up by about 10, so I want everyone to get out there & work like we’re DOWN by 15” … which is why they’re going to win. The Dems have been out there getting their hands dirty since last year – doing voter-registration & GOTV even while they were having their primaries, on an unprecedented scale – & if anything, they’ll be going at it even HARDER in the next two days.
GOP rhetoric OTOH – including yours – has indeed been dripping with the hubris we’ve all come to expect from The Entitlement Brigade, who still seem to sincerely believe that it’s 2003 & if they get themselves into a jam, they can always pull another Diebold horse-shoe out of their arse. As has been their national strategy itself: go negative (because after all, that approach kicked ass SO hard in 2004), GOTV is for Teh Gheyz, we don’t need no stinkin’ community-organizers, etc. etc. etc. … not to mention the simple fact that they’d assumed it was Hillary who’d be their opponent & not Obama, well into the primaries. So when Obama won, they just said “whatever, we’re too dim to come up with anything original or substantial anyway, so let’s just go with Plan A” & ran the anti-Clinton campaign-plan with a new name in the blanks – & the rest is history.
Blow out the candles on your failcake, dude.
Two days left.
Sadly, Blows!
I have this thread all to myself. Hehehe. Obama is a dumb nigger, and he sucks ass! He should eat some fried chicken, and then wash his mouth out with some watermelon just like a good ol’ country nigger.
If he’s lucky, maybe President McCain will hire him as a cook for the white house kitchen. I think Obama would make a rather good house nigger for President McCain.
Good thing, no one will ever read what I just posted above. They are all posting on new threads, I’m pretty sure nobody will ever read this. So just for fun I’ll say this, McCain will kick the crap out of Obama this election, but nobody will be able to tell, because Obama is the color of crap. I’m not a racist, I just don’t like Obama, and because I don’t like Obama I felt like calling him a nigger.
Hey, don’t let me interrupt you.
LOL , RiM caught masturbating over a David Duke photo .
By the way , Barry Hussein X’s lead in today’s one day Zogby polling is 10 points ( 52 – 42 ) . I’m sure Drudgie will have a screaming headline to proclaim this 🙂 . Zogby , who himself presented yesterday’s one day polling as something profound and very significant , today anmonishes bloggers not to take one day polling results seriously .