Dear Ford Motor Company: Please Stop Being Gay. I Am Not a Crackpot.
Agape Press alerts us to the American Family Association’s latest battle in the War on Anal Copulation that’s Offensive to Fans of Freedom (or “WAC OFF” for short):
One week after calling an end to its nine-year boycott of the Walt Disney Company, the American Family Association has launched another nationwide campaign.
And we all remember how well that boycott went! Before the AFA announced its boycott, Disney’s stock price stood at $18.67 a share. But after nine years of the relentless Evangelical embargo, Disney’s stock had plummeted all the way to $27.66 per share. Indeed, the AFA’s attack on Disney was the most successful right-wing boycott since Bill O’Reilly brought France to its knees.
On Monday (May 30), AFA announced it has launched a boycott against the Ford Motor Company because of the company’s track record for supporting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual “marriage.”
And once homosexual “marriage” is legalized, we’ll have homosexual joint income tax “filings,” and gay episodes of Divorce “Court.” Plus, the gay “families” will want to adopt “children” and “raise” them as “their” own, and “that” would be an “abomination” (are you guys “tired” of my “sarcasm” yet?).
The pro-family group’s founder and chairman, Donald E. Wildmon, says Ford’s financial support of the homosexual agenda goes far beyond a few donations.
“‘They’re not just run-of-the-mill sodomites,’ Wildmon said. ‘They’re frickin’ Sodomy Pioneers!'”
Above: Donald Wildmon, God’s personal tool for smashing gayness.
“From redefining family to include homosexual marriage; to giving hundreds of thousands of dollars to support homosexual groups and their agenda; to forcing managers to attend diversity training on how to promote the acceptance of homosexuality; to sponsoring a commitment ceremony — that is, ‘marriage’; to sponsoring ‘gay pride’ parades, Ford leads the way,” Wildmon states.
Yeah, it’s really too bad that Ford makes its managers tolerate gay people in the workplace. A True Christian company would round up its gay employees and throw them into a hetero-reeducation camp.
According to Wildmon, there was so much material demonstrating the automaker’s track record on promoting the homosexual agenda that his group decided it was best to simply give it its own website: BoycottFord.com.
And because you like a good laugh as much as I do, let’s go visit BoycottFord.com:
If one looks for the company which has done the most to affirm and promote the homosexual lifestyle, he would be hard-pressed to find a company which has done more than Ford Motor Company.
Uuuuh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that. Ever hear of MyGayStore.com? They sound pretty tough to top.
While this is hardly known to the general population, it is well known by numerous homosexual organizations. In fact, the Human Rights Campaign (a national homosexual organization whose goal is homosexual marriage) gave Ford a 100% corporate rating.
Ford makes not only Ford, but also Lincoln, Mercury, Mazda, Volvo, Jaguar, and Land Rover.
Gay cars, all of them! Especially the Jaguar!
The goal of every homosexual organization supported by Ford is to get homosexual marriage legalized. The information below provides just a glimpse of how broad Ford’s support for the homosexual movement is.
Then they give us a bunch of information about how Ford sponsors GLAAD and other gay-enabling gay organizations promoting gayness.
After that, the AFA tells us to contact our local Ford dealer and LET THEM KNOW that we don’t approve of their pro-sodomy business:
Please call your local Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, Volvo, Jaguar, Land Rover, and/or Mazda dealer. Tell him you are joining the boycott. Tell him you will stop boycotting Ford products when Ford stops promoting the homosexual agenda and homosexual marriage. If the dealer wants more information, refer him to the BoycottFord.com website.
I tried this, but it didn’t go very well:
DEALER: Sentry Ford New England, how can I help you?
ME: Hi, I just wanted to call and let you know that I’m not buying another Ford until they stop supporting gayness.
DEALER: Well, I’m not really sure how the cars are promoting gayness, sir…
ME: No, not the cars, you buffoon! The company itself! Ford! They’re trying the hardest of any company to affirm and promote the homosexual lifestyle!
DEALER: I take it you’ve never stopped by any of the shops in Provincetown…
I hung up at this point, unable to convince my dealer that selling cars would lead to gay marriage. I decided to consult BoycottFord.com for further advice:
The local dealer may say he has no control over Ford?s support for the homosexual marriage movement. That is not exactly true. The local dealer is the customer of Ford, just as you are the customer of the local dealer. If the local dealer doesn’t agree with Ford’s funding of the homosexual marriage movement, he needs to register his complaint with Ford just as you are registering your complaint with him.
And if the dealer thinks you’re a lunatic, well, then you’re up shit’s creek.
Anyway, the highlight of the site is a collage of gay Ford ads. Here are my favorites:
Yep, that’s pretty gay. Let’s check out another one:
BoycottFord says of this ad:
Though Ford hasn’t yet begun gay marketing in the U.S., it has had presence in European gay media for a few years.
All you wingnuts whining about the liberal media better count your lucky stars, cuz in Europe, they actually have a GAY media.
In this Cologne Europride parade guide that recalls a 1999 U.S. ad from Bud Light, Ford’s ad features two men holding hands (one with a leather strap), and a headline that reads, “As if we only think about cars.”
They’re gay people! And they’re HOLDING HANDS!!! I CAN FEEL THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE UNRAVELLING!!!!1!!
Next to the hands, it says, “Anhangerkupplung?” which has a double meaning as it refers to the tow bar in the back of a car as well as meaning “hook up” or “hitched.”
And we all know how much gay people like to use words with two meanings- further proof that Shakespeare was a queer.
Now let’s look at one more, just for kicks:
Taking things to a new level, Volvo’s risque ad phallicly shows an emergency brake handle as if it is an erection, with the headline, “We’re just as excited as you. Happy Mardis Gras from everyone at Volvo Car Australia.”
My God! A corporation using phallic symbols to sell its products! That’s never, ever happened before!
At the bottom is an obligatory rainbow stripe.
GAY phallic symbols!! How do those morality-impaired bastards at Ford sleep at night!!
The ad was carried in the 2003 Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardis Gras program book.
So Ford placed a gay ad in a gay program book. What will we tell the children?
OK, let’s recap what we’ve learned:
1.) Ford is gay.
2.) Ford uses sex to sell its cars… GAY sex.
3.) Gay magazines print Ford’s gay ads.
4.) Gay people shouldn’t be allowed to drive.
Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Join us next week, when the AFA boycotts General Mills for using a sodomoite leprachaun to promote its cereal:
“Aye, they’re always tryin’ to take me Sodom Charms!”
Years ago, at the gay and lesbian film festival here in Los Angeles, they showed a short film that consisted of ads from Europe that were gay oriented. They were really well made and very sly and humorous.
Somehow England, France, Germany and Holland didn’t implode from this infusion of gayness.
So that leprechaun is actually saying “Begomorrah”? Ach, noooo! I’ve been bitten by Teh Ghey!
Well! After reading this I have decided *not* to buy a new Ford Explorer this year. Not only that, I will not buy parts for my (perfectly good) 1994 Jeep Cherokee at the Ford dealer or take my wife’s Hyundai there for service.
But wait… why would I care? I’m not one of them Refublicans who needs a constitional amendment to keep me from leaving my wife and marrying a man.
This only leaves one problem: I don’t have any current need for Ford cars, trucks, parts or service.
Oh, well.
As Dana Carvey once said when channeling Johnny Cochran:
“He is a wise man, I think that’s pretty clear. He’s a good-looking man. A handsome man. Donald Wildmon is a gorgeous man. If I was a homosexual man, I’d want to have sex with Donald Wildmon. We could have naked time. Donald Wildmon is wise, Don has three letters, God has three letters, can’t just be a coincidence!”
“God’s personal tool for smashing gayness.”
I can’t help but hear that as spoken by a Brit … Smashing gayness! Just smashing! And will Chevy Truck drivers change from claiming FORD stands for “Found On Road Dead” to saying it means “Fornicators Of Rumps, Dude!”?
And will Chevy Truck drivers change from claiming FORD stands for “Found On Road Dead” to saying it means “Fornicators Of Rumps, Dude!”?
Now that’s just extremely clever 🙂
I think that anti gay people should not support homosexuality by using handbrakes. It is outrageous. I call for a boycott of handbrakes.
Now that I think of it, gay people use seatbelts too …
The goal of every homosexual organization supported by Ford is to get homosexual marriage legalized.
The site is careful to point out over and over again that many Ford donations go to groups that support or lobby for gay marriage. This proves that they are simply defending the sanctity of marriage and are not overcompensating for the repressed homosexuality of Bill “Letsa Get” Wildmon.
The outrage over gay marriage never ceases to amuse me.
“But, but, if homosexual couples are allowed to get maried…it won’t affect my life at all! We can’t let that happen!”
And all this time I’ve been boycotting Ford cars because they suck. Well, that and the fact that I can’t afford any car. But now I’m going to have to rush out and buy one, or else people will assume that I’m one of those people who thinks I’ll wake up one morning with my marriage collapsed because of a few ads and sensitivity training seminars.
Now that I think of it, gay people use seatbelts too …
Oh, but it’s worse than that. I happen to know for a fact that gay people use oxygen, too! Focus on the Family needs to boycott breathing!
(They might need help. Where’s the duct tape?)
But now I’m going to have to rush out and buy one, or else people will assume that I’m one of those people who thinks I’ll wake up one morning with my marriage collapsed because of a few ads and sensitivity training seminars.
That sounds like something a lesbian would say, Kris 😉
D. Sidhe- you’ve been on a “trick ’em into not breathing” kick, haven’t you? 😉
Before the AFA announced its boycott, Disney’s stock price stood at $18.67 a share. But after nine years of the relentless Evangelical embargo, Disney’s stock had plummeted all the way to $27.66 per share.
That’s a 48% increase. Over that same period of time, the S&P 500 index increased 76.5%. There’s a technical term for stocks that massively underperform the broader market over a 9-year period: losers.
That picture of Wildmon sure smashed the gayness outta me.
(are you guys “tired” of my “sarcasm” yet?)
“Sarcasm”? I thought you were just channeling your inner Kaye, “Grogan”.
That’s a 48% increase. Over that same period of time, the S&P 500 index increased 76.5%. There’s a technical term for stocks that massively underperform the broader market over a 9-year period: losers.
A fair point, although a stock like Disney is considered a healthy long-term investment because it’s such a well-known brand. It won’t make you instantly rich, but its stock price will rise fairly steadily. And of course, you’d have to work really hard to prove that Disney’s relatively lackluster stock performance over past decade was due to the AFA’s boycott. Let’s go for a better indicator of corporate health: income statements.
Net income for Disney in 1996 (the year the boycott started)- $1.214 billion
Last year’s net income- $2.345 billion
Adjusted for inflation, the 1996 figure is roughly $1.5 billion. (I used this chart for conversion (PDF)- if there’s a more accurate one out there, let me know, but I think it’s just about right).
Now, it’s true that Disney got hit with greatly reduced earnings figures in 2000 and 2001 (they actually LOST money in 2001). But again, you’d have to work incredibly hard to show conclusively that this was caused by AFA’s boycott and not, say, drops in tourism after 9/11, an economy in recession, Michael Eisner’s incompetence, etc.
Bottom line, though, is that Disney was quite profitable last year dispite Sr. Wildmon’s nine year boycott.
You have all got to hear this:
http://www.eugenemirman.com/showandtell.html
thanks to Andrew Sullivan for pointing me to it.
This is a comedian fucking with telemarketers from an anti-gay phone company which is trying to get you to sign up for long distance to fight gay marriage.
priceless.
no name> That’s a 48% increase. Over that same period of time, the S&P 500 index increased 76.5%. There’s a technical term for stocks that massively underperform the broader market over a 9-year period: losers.
Brad R.> A fair point, although a stock like Disney is considered a healthy long-term investment because it’s such a well-known brand. It won’t make you instantly rich, but its stock price will rise fairly steadily.
Well, okay. Let’s compare it to the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which is more commensurate in terms of market cap and brand recognition. The DJIA rose about 82% in the same time period. Exclude Disney, and the other 29 stocks probably rose more.
Brad R.> And of course, you’d have to work really hard to prove that Disney’s relatively lackluster stock performance over past decade was due to the AFA’s boycott. Let’s go for a better indicator of corporate health: income statements.
Net income for Disney in 1996 (the year the boycott started)- $1.214 billion
Last year’s net income- $2.345 billion
Adjusted for inflation, the 1996 figure is roughly $1.5 billion.
Did the AFA boycott have any effect on Disney income? I have no idea, but you’d have to concede that unless you know the income growth for the other DJIA 29, you can’t argue that Disney’s income growth is a sign of relative corporate health. (And I’m too lazy to check myself, so I’ll have to concede the point.)
no name> The DJIA rose about 82% in the same time period. Exclude Disney, and the other 29 stocks probably rose more.
Duh. Of course, if you exclude Disney, the other 29 stocks definitely rose more than 82%. My bad.
no name-
Let’s just agree that, for the sake of simplicity, I chose an easily-understood indicator of Disney’s financial health to comically illustrate that the AFA hadn’t brought it to its knees. I’ll concede that I didn’t put it into proper context because then, well, it wouldn’t have been as humorous.
Seeing that the AFA is fairly little known as far as wingnut organizations go (unlike, say, Focus on the Family), I think the effect on Disney was minimal (especially when you take into account that Disney owns, well, a LOT of stuff, and I don’t think even the most dedicated wingnut sports fan would give up ESPN ;-)).
Did anyone else catch that the ‘rainbow stripe” on the bottom on the page was probably for checking the “registration” of the print?(Last time I checked, most rainbows don’t have the colors cyan and magenta in them).
Before making any conclusions about Disney’s stocks I’d need to compare them to the stocks of simular companies in the entertainment/media world. How did their movies do compared to those made by other studios, how did the theme parks perform compared to other theme parks, etc.
DA: good catch!
Did anyone else catch that the ‘rainbow stripe” on the bottom on the page was probably for checking the “registration” of the print?
AHA! Printing companies are part of the pro-gay conspiracy!
qooixuy erdfcv http://tyghbnrateemdk.com/
As a sole voice of an alternate view, keep in mind who won the last national election. I was not one of the people who voted for him (for many reasons), however, his win underlies the fact that many people in this country are offended when they are painted as wackos for holding the same views that were practically universal 100 years ago. Not everyone believes that views of morality need to change with the times. Most americans seem to agree that what people do with their own personal lives is their own business, but many people do not like supporting a children’s play park that holds pride days for a lifestyle choice they believe is destructive. You don’t have to agree with these people, but they have a right to their beliefs without being marginalized as extremist wackos.
While most of Disney’s problems stem from the fact that the movies Eisner makes all suck, there has been a fundamental shift in thinking about disney among many people with small kids. This goes far beyond the gay/straight debate and is an overall mistrust of the moral viewpoint preached by the Disney marketplace. This has definitely hit the Disney bottom line, as the Jonah movie put out by the evangelical Veggietales characters made as much money as any of the last three disney films (not counting Pixar). Again, you don’t have to agree with these people, but life’s a lot easier when you can at least look at it from more than one perspective.
http://www.monsiteadulte.com/lesbienne/atseka/toon/nzd/famouse.html enduredprincessteenage