Ken Blackwell? I thought that bitchy “fashion arbiter” finally died.

MzN, that would be 2006 Republican candidate for the Ohio gubernatorial race, who lost miserably. The Columbus Dispatch, a quite conservative paper (endorsed Walnuts), said that his margins were the worst for a Repub. candidate since 1913 or something like that.

And everybody pointed and laughed because nobody likes him.

He was also implicated in the 2004 election peculiarities, mostly because he was Secretary of State at the time and also Bush’s OH campaign chair.

Vote Obama and you’ll die. And be sure to buy my book: “Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That is Destroying America”.

Cal Thomas is a steaming pile of AWESOME.

Hmmm, little too obvious I’ve been reading Wonkette lately…

Wow, we haven’t had a ClownHall Sampler in a while.

As for Tom Sowell, check out this shitty interview America’s Shittiest Economist has at America’s Shittiest Website. Shorter Sowell: Obama’s only going to win because our schools suck. Also, he’s an elitist, unlike me.

Bonus for complete forced laughter from the interviewer when Sowell attempts to make a funny/not to crap his pants.

“Vote Obama and get ready to see nuclear bombs go off in New York and LA. I sure am glad I traded my kidneys for these DVDs of 24’s sixth season!”

Thomas Sowell – the douche just keeps getting out of the bag.

George Will was the one who showed me how to use Agraria perfumed tassels to give my basement lair mystery and class. That and a Barcelona Day Bed.

Hello? Remember me? All those links, and not one for ME?!?

Sadly Pathetic.

That Sowell piece is one of the stupidest columns I”ve ever read. Well, at least since the last Sowell column.

I love how Coulter’s column is all about proving how wrong Keith Olbermann is when he says that McCain andPalin are egging on their supporters into wanting Obama dead for being a traitor and anti-American and then pretty much every single one of the many, many comments her readers spew out below simply conform that he was right all along.

Cognitive dissonance, thy name is Republican.

I actually just spent a half hour clicking through every single link and…wow.

It’s like a clown car of stupid.

That Keith Olbermann is a sac de douche.

He’s… a shower cap? You people and your strange foreign idioms, no wonder Real Americans can’t understand you.

Any chance these twits will drink poison kool-aid the second they realize the terrorist has been elected? Jim Jones style.

I would so like them to stop talking forever.

Ah Ken Blackwell. I recall he tried to make changes Ohio’s voting rules that would have resulted in a lot of people not being able to vote. And he did it really close to the election.

How’d that work out for him?

Oh, he’s writing for ClownHall. Guess that answers my question.

We’re gonna need more badgers.

I would so like them to stop talking forever.

Et tu, Leslie?

Simba B said,

MzN, that would be 2006 Republican candidate for the Ohio gubernatorial race, who lost miserably. The Columbus Dispatch, a quite conservative paper (endorsed Walnuts), said that his margins were the worst for a Repub. candidate since 1913 or something like that.

As an occasional wonkette reader (first blog I ever commented on), AND a Columbus resident, I’ll just add that the Columbus Dispatch birdcage liner wouldn’t have said that if Ken Blackwell was a proper rethuglican.

If you know what I mean, and I’m sure that you do.

My god, it’s full of stupid.

The chair of the Hillsborough County (FL) Republican Party forwards to a big recipient list an email as part of the GOP GOTV effort. Members of his own party charge him with racism. Do I even need to mention the original text was done in all caps?

Thanks for the link so I could re-read her.

Maybe you should try reading without moving your lips, booger.

Sssshhhh.

Think about this.

Timing. Pace and Rhythm.

We MIGHT just get out from under the bush/cheney administration without our country being utterly destroyed.

A year ago I never would have thought it.

But maybe. Just maybe. Given some good breaks and some restraint. Maybe we’ll make it to President Obama’s inauguration with our country and our economy intact and at peace.

Oh, I’m not gonna sell the G3, but maybe there’s a reason for some short-term hope…

mikey

I’m so glad the titles are in the URLs. Those along with the shorters tell me all I need to know without even needing to soil my browser with their pages.

Where’s Stossel?

From that bastion of Marxist-Leninist ooga-booga, the Economist:

“The Economist does not have a vote, but if it did, it would cast it for Mr Obama. We do so wholeheartedly: the Democratic candidate has clearly shown that he offers the better chance of restoring America’s self-confidence.”

Has the whole world gone red?

Ann Coulter should be interviewed by Jeremy Paxman again. Every day. For three hundred years.

Do I even need to mention the original text was done in all caps?

Does anyone have a solid theory why conservatives love teh all caps? It seems to be a style reserved for wingnuts and PUMAs.

The Economist does not have a vote, but if it did, it would cast it for Mr Obama.

Ok, now that scares me just a little…

I actually clicked through to Debra Saunders. It’s odd, I didn’t know that Townhall posted translations of Louis XVI’s council meetings, but there you have it. Learn something new every day.

Conf_i_rm. My fingers are so dyslexic…

John McCaslin: Wanna read a story about a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee? Well, maybe next time.
Any mother who thinks that you make delicious coffee by boiling beans for 20 minutes may as well just surrender her parental responsibilities to the TV.

I would so like them to stop talking forever.

Note to Sadly’s official DHS reader: Lesley is a Canadian, so her statement constitutes a wish, not a terra-ristical threat.

I’m with Mikey, myself: As long as the Klownhall Krewe is out there babbling, at least we can keep track of them. It’s when the high-pitched whinging and flapping noises *stop* that I’ll start worrying they might actually have something dangerous in mind.

If you guys don’t bring Teh Funny soon, I will be forced to tell a funny story.

Here you go, a story about a guy giving beer to an ATM.

It has a picture.

Thanks for the link so I could re-read her.

So that’s what wingnuts call it. You were off on the can “re-reading” to Ann Coulter.

Hey, Truth. Good to see you take it to the moonbats once again. Here’s something you might find bringing “the funny”: notomichelleobama.com

The shorter on the Coulter piece could have been The fact that Ashley Todd’s claims were fake is just central to my point that there really are no racial tensions in America.

You often hear people suggest that Coulter is really a liberal, or is at least indifferent politically and just putting on an act. I think the suggestion is usually meant in jest, but the logic in that column is so flimsy, so tortured,and so improbable that I am left genuinely wondering if she is serious.

I guess the most likely explanation is that she sees the obvious flaws in her own reasoning, but believes a great many people will not and will be convinced, and that this will serve a greater good of some kind.

Ah, Ann Coulter. She shreds your pompous liberal hypocrisy on a regular basis. Thanks for the link so I could masturbate frantically and obliterate my fear of your victory for just a few minutes.

Don’t know how you got such a major typo there.

She shreds your pompous liberal hypocrisy on a regular basis.

Ann who?

Can’t we just haul all these assholes out behind the barn and make them eat all the bullshit they have been spewing for the last 20 years?

Ann who?

maybe this?

Can’t we just haul all these assholes out behind the barn and make them eat all the bullshit they have been spewing for the last 20 years?

DrDick: I’m beginning to believe that 11/04/08 will do just that. Hence the increased ugliness and hatred, which is, sadly, all they know.

Ann Coulter: You know what the Ashley Todd case proves? That Keith Olbermann is a sac de douche.

Glenn Beck had The Skank on today. Meeting of the minds, minus the minds.

Sorry, Twoofy. This is the grown ups table. You have to sit at the children’s table with the rest of the kids from ClownHall, Redstake, and Little Green Nose Gold. I am sure they will find your fart jokes amusing and edifying. Maybe someday when you grown up you can sit with the grown ups. In the mean time, nobody really gives a shit about the addled maunderings of a retarded 8th grader.

Truthless: I like pumpkin pie! Pie pie! Please smash it in my face!

I am sure they will find your fart jokes amusing and edifying.

…waitaminit, which blog is this?

Oh, right, we do poop jokes here.

Still, Twoofie can tj;sb.

(that’s how the kids are abbreviating “tonguejack my shitbox” these days).

Emmett Tyrrell: Obama claims that he offers a tax cut for “95 percent” of the citizenry which means sending government checks to some 40 percent of the citizenry who pay no taxes and raising taxes on the rest of us.

But um… people who don’t file a return can’t benefit from tax cuts in the first place, and…

Aw, fuck it. You know that? I give up.

Let’s just exile them to an island like in “Brave New World”.

So, MzNicky, what do you think is going to happen to the rightards like Pam and Twoofy on Tuesday when our new Islamofascistcommunisticatheistic black overlord ascends to the throne? I am personally hoping for several megatons of exploding cerebellum.

I have nothing left, leftists! Nada! Does that stop me from coming to sites I ostensibly despise to try to resurrect political clashes that occurred only in my own self-involved and useless mind and about which no one else has a clue, nor could even begin to care, simply to pathetically try to attract the attention for which I am so starved? Why no, no it doesn’t! Because the writing’s on the wall, the criminals of the recent unfortunate past are finally done for, and I so despise myself and am so out of anything that approaches political currency that I can’t find any other site to go to, nor any issue of substance with which to try to engage my betters! What a useless, pointless existence mine is! I should just fuck off already.

You know what is teh funny?

President Obama will be able to use those “wonderful” domestic wiretapping powers that republicans were so enthusiastic about to round up republican domestic terrorists!

There will be no shortage of those pesky republican domestic terrorists, just like the militias and McVeighs of the 90’s.

Finally we can get all those republicans put in jail who hate America so much. If any of the republican trolls here are getting nervous about their prospects, remember one thing:

“If you aren’t guilty you have nothing to worry about”

I am personally hoping for several megatons of exploding cerebellum.

I personally plan to orchestrate a version of the 1812 Overture punctuated by wingnut head explosions.

Just watch out for shrapnel.

DrDick: I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out. This weekend’s going to be like a three-day Christmas Eve.

Truthless: Wait — Whose waiter is wearing the Obama button, the man or the homeless man? The homeless man is waited on? But the man who walks past the homeless man waits on the waiter? Or what? Sorry, your unclear antecedents ruin the whole thing. You’re stupid, aren’t ya?

It seems the waiter didn’t appreciate the redistribution of money from those who earn it to those who need it.

…And that homeless man grew up to be… Charles Foster Kane.

And now you know… The Rest Of The Story!

MzNicky – Twoofy just proves that John Stuart Mill was far too generous.

1812 Overture?

1812 Overture?

Reminds me of a famous quote:

“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy, that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” – John K. Galbraith

Other quotes I like:

“Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence; Conservatism is distrust of the people, tempered by fear.” – Wm. Gladstone

“Not all conservatives are stupid people, but all stupid people are conservatives.” – John Stuart Mills

“A Conservative is a patriot who is prepared to lay down your life for his country.” – anon

Well, at least now Twoofy will understand the refrence.

I personally plan to orchestrate a version of the 1812 Overture punctuated by wingnut head explosions.

That should be interesting – loud, majestic orchestra music interspersed with flabby wet-fart sounds.

I just have a hard time imagining that a wingnut head explosion being very loud.

You’re stupid, aren’t ya?

Hee hee.

This is fun.

We’re like the winning team with one out left to get and a ten run lead.

Loose, and laughing, waiting for that tuesday evening ground ball that ends the argument for quite a while.

What was that line I remember?

Oh yeah.

“Elections have Consequences”.

Hee hee….

mikey

“Elections have Consequences”.

Wait, I got one, I got one –

“Why don’t you try winning a few elections?”

BAAAAAA hahahahaha!

” Vote Obama and you’ll die.”

No, no, the exact quote is: “Vote Obama – and now, young Skywalker… You *Will* Die.”

The ZZZZZZZZTT!! is optional…

Or for someone to say something funny besides me.

You may not have cottoned on, but many people say something funny beside you.

Five funny little words for you:

President Barack Unitary Executive Obama.

Are you feeling me yet?

mikey

Or for someone to say something funny besides me.

We’re still waiting for you to say something funny. Or even intelligible.

President Barack Unitary Executive Obama.

But his friends just call him “Extraordinary Rendition”.

The Daily Show’s John Oliver just put the smackdown on the ugly, pale, fat right wing typical ‘think tank’ f*** who mocks “community organizing” and alleges that ACORN is destroying the country. Ugly sh*t literally says that “community organizing” leads to crack cocaine dealing.

I’ll call your Strawman and raise you 1 million displaced and dead Iraqis.

Ok, I just read Wikipedia on the “Jena Six“, and all I have to say is, high school students can be dumb, meanspirited, and violent, especially when they are given excuses to hate on each other based on the racial tensions and stupid prejudices of the adults in the community. I don’t think anyone is contending that six black students didn’t beat up the (white) victim. But it’s pretty apparent that there’s more to the story than some random, Clockwork Orange style “ultraviolence” committed by “thugs”, as you called them, especially since the victim was released from the emergency room the same day. If they patch you up and send you on your way, you didn’t just get beat “half to death.”

Also, Mr. The Truth, the way you’re carrying on about this story leads me to suspect you have some perhaps sexual tensions tied up with the whole interracial beating scene that leads you to want to keep talking about it. Go re-read Ann Coulter some more.

How ’bout this one?

Joe “undisclosed location” Biden.

How would you like Obama’s legal team to, oh, I dunno, maybe come up with legal justifications for wealth confiscation and then refuse to make them public?

Or maybe VP Biden could hold meetings, see, [hee hee] and then refuse to release the names of the attendees, despite the fact that they formulated administration policy. That’d be just fine, right? Hey, nobody complained before…

mikey

Twoofy – You are an arrogant asshole and nobody is waiting except you. I already explained it to you, but you are too stupid and bigoted to understand it. I have better things to do than try to reason with willfully ignorant racists. Now kindly go away and fuck yourself. You are proving nothing except that you are an annoying little twit.

That’d be just fine, right? Hey, nobody complained before…

Yeah, yeah! And then, Biden could shoot some poor bastard in the face, wait half an hour to call the police, and make the victim apologize publically for it!

And Obama could just ignore anything he doesn’t like coming out of Congress, scribbling little notes on the laws about which ones he doesn’t feel like obeying!

We got a million of ’em!

Joe “undisclosed location” Biden.

How would you like Obama’s legal team to, oh, I dunno, maybe come up with legal justifications for wealth confiscation and then refuse to make them public?

Or maybe VP Biden could hold meetings, see, [hee hee] and then refuse to release the names of the attendees, despite the fact that they formulated administration policy. That’d be just fine, right? Hey, nobody complained before…

Umm…duh, no it WOULDN’T be just fine, thank you very much! Because unlike Bush, Obama towels around with parasites.

I didn’t quite catch the full details of my talking points, but it was something like that.

TE,
You’re assuming the Ann Coulter has ever written anything that wasn’t total horseshit. She’s the Howard Stern of Conservativism, but unlike Stern – who’s just a tedious bore now that the “shock” has worn off – Coulter’s preaching hate and anger. If she’s just doing it for the bucks, I honestly don’t see how that doesn’t make her even more contemptible than she already is.

I’m having trouble keeping up again …

Which Republican candidate was falsely implicated in the Jena 6 incidents again?

And, also, which Democratic candidate helped to spread the word on something that was completey staged?

Answer these questions and maybe I can figure out what your point is.

Thanks in advance!

I seem to recall an NPR reporter at the time saying that the white kid “beaten half to death” went to a party that same night or the night after. Hmm, he must have seen that white light and decided he just had to turn around and struggle back for one last beer bong, unlike those fake Americans in Texas, forcibly dragged toward that white light for their own good.

Here’s the text of that e-mail from the Chairman of the Hillsborough County, Florida (Tampa) Republican Party HQ, linked above by J–. Chairman Storck has since then denied actually reading the e-mail he sent around, it was all a big mix-up, you see, I mean…

THE THREAT:
HERE IN TEMPLE TERRACE, FL OUR REPUBLICAN HQ IS ONE BLOCK AWAY FROM OUR LIBRARY, WHICH IS AN EARLY VOTING SITE.

I SEE CARLOADS OF BLACK OBAMA SUPPORTERS COMING FROM THE INNER CITY TO CAST THEIR VOTES FOR OBAMA. THIS IS THEIR CHANCE TO GET A BLACK PRESIDENT AND THEY SEEM TO CARE LITTLE THAT HE IS AT MINIMUM, SOCIALIST, AND PROBABLY MARXIST IN HIS CORE BELIEFS. AFTER ALL, HE IS BLACK–NO EXPERIENCE OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS–BUT HE IS BLACK.
I ALSO SEE YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENTS AND THEIR PROFESSORS FROM USF PARKING THEIR CARS WITH THE PROMINENT ‘OBAMA’ BUMPER STICKERS. THE STUDENTS ARE ENTHUSIASTIC TO BE VOTING IN A HISTORIC ELECTION WHERE THERE MAY BE THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT.

THE COLLEGE PROFESSORS, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES, FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THE WORK-A-DAY WORLD.
THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN MOSTLY ACADEMIC UNDER THE TUTELAGE OF LIBERAL COLLEGE PROFESSORS. FOR THEM, A LITTLE SOCIALISM AND ANTI-AMERICANISM IS A GOOD THING. AFTER ALL, IF TERRORISTS ATTACK US, WE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO PROVOKE THEM.

YOU AND I UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS THE POTENTIAL OBAMA PRESIDENCY PRESENTS TO OUR WAY OF LIFE. THE SUPPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH, INTRODUCING UNION INTIMIDATION IN THE WORKPLACE, INCREASED DANGERS TO OUR NATION BY TERRORISTS, CUTTING OUR DEFENSE BUDGET BY 25%, TURNING OUR TAX SYSTEM INTO A NATIONAL WELFARE SYSTEM AND ECONOMIC POLICIES THAT COULD DRIVE US INTO A DEPRESSION.

THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP OBAMA: VOTE !!!——-
(AND GET EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO VOTE)
ONLY YOU AND I CAN STOP OBAMA NOW ! !
SEVEN DAYS TO GO AND WE MUST ACT IMMEDIATELY..

A PLAN OF ACTION FOR YOU AND I:
VOTE. OBAMA IS ADVERTISING ON TV ASKING ALL HIS SUPPORTERS TO TAKE A DAY OFF WORK OR CLASS TO VOTE.
CONTACT PERSONALLY EVERYONE YOU KNOW REMINDING THEM TO VOTE AND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS. PARENTS, VOTING-AGE CHILDREN, IN-LAWS, CO-WORKERS, CHURCH CONTACTS, SCHOOL CONTACTS, BUSINESS CONTACTS. MAKE A LIST AND CONTACT THEM.
SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR EMAIL LIST THAT WANTS TO DEFEAT OBAMA.

YOUR EMAIL IS AN EFFECTIVE TOOL IF YOU USE IT WISELY AND PROMPTLY. YOU CAN REACH 10,000,000 PEOPLE IN THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS IF AS FEW AS TEN PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST TAKE PROMPT ACTION AND TEN PEOPLE ON THEIR LIST AND TEN PEOPLE ON THEIR LIST…YOU GET THE IDEA.

LET’S ALL PRAY AND WORK AND WE WILL SURELY CELEBRATE OUR VICTORY ON 11/5/08.

David A. Storck Chairman
Hillsborough County
Republican Party

Mr. Storck went on to proclaim “Free the Jena Six and, um, that Mummiba or whatever guy too!”

Liberals, notice his typos as he trembles with rage and fear, trying to wish me away.

Um, I’m not noticing that. What I’m noticing is the EPIC FAIL on the Right Wing side.

and the increasing irrelevance of Da Twooth.

Jeez, booger/tooth.

What’s “Jena 6” got to do with anything, besides racist right wing scumbags desperately playing “we’re the real victims!!!one1!” card?

Enjoy your life of dogshittery, dirtbag.

I’m sorry, but am I wearing a sign that says “I care what racist jackasses say” around my neck?

THE COLLEGE PROFESSORS, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES, FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THE WORK-A-DAY WORLD.

Ah, but they have learned how to operate that key labelled “Shift” on their keyboards.

Perhaps because they’ve gone beyond the “hunt and peck” method.

Who put the dexies in Twoofty’s Ovaltine tonight?

g said,

Who put the dexies in Twoofty’s Ovaltine tonight?

Liebeeral biased pollisies, no doubt.

Umm, Twoofy, I think the professor just had better things to do. You were getting boring.

But carry on, you seem to be amusing yourself no end.

Did somebody just say something? I coulda swore I heard a noise that sounded like rational human speech but maybe it was just my imagination.

Fucking pelicans.

um…just a word on this bullshit about how “40% of Americans pay no taxes.” Which is, as noted, bullshit. And not just because of FICA taxes. Basically, “40% of Americans” who earn income = people making around $35K or less per year. I made that amount for a number of years, and always paid income tax. ALWAYS. Income tax for a single worker with no dependents who makes $35K a year comes to some $5,000. You have to get down to somewhere under about $15K per year before you pay NO income tax. And we do not have 40% of workers making under $15K. Now, even if they’re talking about people who offset their income tax liability by claiming several dependents, you still aren’t going to find any of them making over $25 or $30K per year who are paying NO income tax. Then again, we always knew that wingers suck at math (just like they suck at logic, honesty, decency, etc.)

How come when we’re talking about giving billionaires a tax cut worth millions per year it’s “letting them keep THEIR MONEY” but when we’re talking about giving someone making $35K a year a tax cut it’s “SOCIALISM!!1!eleventy1!!” and not “their money”?

mikey:

I’ll see you your President Barack Unitary Executive Obama and raise you a couple hundred signing statements…

I heartily encourage conservatives to keep harping on how the white folk are kept down and how civil rights leaders are all morons and hypocrites. I want you to keep doing that until you have 6 Republican members of Congress left, sprinkled lightly throughout the Deep South. I heartily encourage you.

And just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any crazier, it does!

“Ladies and Gentlemen,… If Barack Hussein Obama II, or Barry Soetoro if you prefer his other Legal Name, is Ineligible to hold the Office of President of the United States he can never preside over any Administration. In Legal terms therefore, should he gain Election by the Electoral College and then proceed to Inauguration there would be no Legitimate Federal Government … At that point the United States of America would, in effect, cease to exist among the Community of Nations. Unlike 1861 the Union would not be broken, it would be utterly dissolved upon the Winds of Time, as if it had never been.”

http://texasdarlin.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/one-nation-divisible-under-obama-not-indivisible-under-god/

First the inmates took over the asylum and destroyed everything. Now they’re being herded back in and they don’t like it a bit.

It was very clever of Sarah Palin today to give her “Drill Baby Drill!” speech about getting and using more U.S. oil today while she was visiting the Xunlight solar cell production company plant. Strangely, enthusiasm wavered among the crowd.

All one has to do is switch around the races in the Jena 6 scenario and the whole thing is indefensible.

While we’re switching things around, let’s make the whole thing take place in Antarctica instead of Louisiana. And instead of the Jena Six, let’s make it the Dave Clark Five. And let’s change the assaults and racial tensions into a balloon race and a midlife crisis brought on by erectile dysfunction. And the mayor of the town is no longer Jena’s Murphy R. McMillan, but is now H.R. Pufnstuf. And let’s make it all take place in the year 2176.

Now the whole thing is really indefensible.

OK, lemme play this “rearrangement” game:

Seems twoofie walks past a homeless person on his way into a crack house. His dealer is wearing a Palin button, and after he (the homeless man) finishes lunch, he asks the Mad Hatter if he supports Roger’s wealth redistribution ideas. The Badger says yes, so the twins tell him he (unknown) is eating his (the one-armed man’s) tip and giving it to the prisoner. It seems the Principal didn’t appreciate the redistribution of milk from cows who make it to those who need it.

You’re RIGHT! Day is night!! Dogs ARE CATS!!! My EYES!!!!

it’s all so… clear now…

I kind of feel like the sort of person who would come up with that story is a pretty lousy tipper anyway.

Any chance these twits will drink poison kool-aid the second they realize the terrorist has been elected?

Ah, if only Obama’s upcoming victory would literally make their heads explode. That would be awesome squared.

I kind of feel like the sort of person who would come up with that story is a pretty lousy tipper anyway.

If he’s a Republican, he probably leaves those fundy tracts that look like dollar bills on the outside.

“Elections have Consequences”.

Hee hee….

I think “Suck it, libs cons.” is going to get a lot of play as well.

#

Matt T. said,

October 31, 2008 at 5:55

TE,
You’re assuming the Ann Coulter has ever written anything that wasn’t total horseshit. She’s the Howard Stern of Conservativism, but unlike Stern – who’s just a tedious bore now that the “shock” has worn off – Coulter’s preaching hate and anger. If she’s just doing it for the bucks, I honestly don’t see how that doesn’t make her even more contemptible than she already is.

Nah, she’s the real deal. A true Connecticut Bircher princess. Her dad was a major union-busting thug lawyer, a really bad guy, and she was daddy’s girl all the way. The thing I regret most is that the ‘Clinton Elves’ of which she was one in the run up to impeachment, no doubt did some pretty illegal things. I wish that some investigative journalist had been a lot more interested in Clinton’s enemies than his penis, because Coulter might have been busted then. Sigh.

Meet Canada’s new health minister: a rookie, who is the spitting image (neocon wise) of Sarah Palin.

As the provincial health minister, Ms. Aglukkaq was constantly under fire because of problems related to an under-funded health-care system in a territory that does not have a particularly healthy population.

Great, and Harper picks this asshole to manage Canada’s health care.

Valerie, a 26-year-old female African elephant, picks Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s picture over Republican John McCain at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, Calif.

Because elephants are smart.

(Six Flags is a hell hole and Valerie should be in a sanctuary.)

Lucky Gerenuk:

…And instead of the Jena Six, let’s make it the Dave Clark Five…And the mayor of the town is no longer Jena’s Murphy R. McMillan, but is now H.R. Pufnstuf.

Well played, Lucky. You’ve just made my day. And it’s only 2:30 in the morning here.

Even Mother Nature is being mean to the rethugs

Turnabout is fair play and all.

Most of the country will enjoy nice weather on Election Day. Conventional wisdom says that nice weather on Election Day can spell victory for the Democrats, while bad weather favors Republicans.

In other words, rethugs do better when people can’t, or won’t vote.

Valerie should be in a sanctuary!

Where all the elephants get together and choose our elected leaders by their pictures.

We might get better results that way.

But then the wingnuts would stalk the elephants…

Hmmm. Upside. Because I think the elephants, ummoved by essays in tortured logic, would just chase them into trees.

Trustafarian @ Agonist.org: Remember when our front page WAS news, and you had to click deep inside to get first-person self-abuse about how foreign countries have a different word for EVERYTHING? Me neither. Thailand is so totally not at all like Long Island! Oh, and global markets are crashing, depending on your point of view, blah blah, I’m bored already. Ooh, but!, look at this picture of an elephant-god idol. My foreign girlfriend is right: it really puts the whole thing in perspective, doesn’t it? Did you know non-American peasants have an entirely different take on American politics, to what Joe the Plumber has? My skull is bursting with unsuspected insights!

why is “The Tr-oaf” trying to derail conversation with ranting about a bunch of teenagers in a small town? what does that have to do with anything?

I’ve got a story too.
Seems a man walks past a homeless person on his way into a restaurant. His waiter is wearing an Obama button, and after he finishes lunch, he asks the waiter if he supports Obama’s wealth redistribution ideas. The waiter says yes, so the man tells him he is taking his tip and giving it to the homeless man. But in actuality, the man is a republican jerk and he puts the tip money back in his own pocket. The waiter, being democratic, isn’t angry at the homeless man, he’s angry because he knows the republican is a lying shit and is just stiffing him.

Here’s another story.
This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.

Valerie, a 26-year-old female African elephant, picks Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s picture over Republican John McCain at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo, Calif.

A twenty-something African female picked Obama? You’ll pardon my French, but quelle fucking surprise.

Mostly I’m just trying to figure out what an “anti-white” symbol would be.

An effigy of Dale Earnhardt? A knocked-over box of granola? “OFAY” spelled out in saltines?

What’s funny is that each week, that non-tipping Republican sh*t-bag comes up with a new morality tale explaining why he didn’t tip that particular week. Also, he has to keep going to different restaurants because he knows that the waiters in the previous ones all hate his stupid a** and probably put sh*t in his food.

This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.

Unfortunately for both of them, the Secretary of State is a Republican. The homeless man’s name is flagged and purged from the voter rolls because his address is no longer current. The waiter shares his name with a convicted felon, and is also purged. He is lucky enough to have the notice mailed to him in time for an appeal, but unlucky enough to live in a majority black neighborhood where he has to wait 8 hours at the polls. He finally steps into the booth…

for a Diebold machine, turn to page 36
for a butterfly ballot, turn to page 50

THE COLLEGE PROFESSORS, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES, FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE IN THE WORK-A-DAY WORLD.

Signed, David A. Storck, paid party flack.

At that point the United States of America would, in effect, cease to exist among the Community of Nations. Unlike 1861 the Union would not be broken, it would be utterly dissolved upon the Winds of Time, as if it had never been.

He’s not only an Islamohomomarxist, he’s also A WARLOCK AND MASTER OF SPACE AND TIME!!!

Right off the back, Sowell brings out the win:

ALBERT
Location: CA

Date: Oct 31, 2008 – 1:42 AM EST A PERFECT STORM

IF PEOPLE THINK THAT THE CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION IS BAD, IT WILL BE A THOUSAND TIMES
WORSE IF WE ARE ATTACK WITH ANYKIND OF NUKE.

Actual ending to Truth’s story – the man comes back into the restaurant the next day. The waiter points him out to the other waiters, and they all jack off into his soup.

(Apparently, Death Wish director and renowned asshole Michael Winner is so used to the unwitting taste of waiter jizz that he once sent back a bowl of soup that hadn’t been jacked off into, on the grounds that it ‘didn’t taste right’. I like to think the same thing has happened to Mr Apocryphal Republican Douchebag. Or Truth himself, of course.)

pedestrian –

That was awesome. It made me laugh really hard.

The fact is, shut up. :-/

Hilarity:

“Appearing once again on The Daily Show, Bill Kristol, Jon Stewart’s favorite whipping boy (“Bill Kristol, aren’t you ever right?”), tonight defended the McCain-Palin ticket, at one point informing the show’s host that he was getting his news from suspect sources. “You’re reading The New York Times too much,” he declared.

“But you work for The New York Times,” Stewart pointed out.”

Bill Kristol roooooooooooooolz eht stooooooooooooooopid.

“Mostly I’m just trying to figure out what an “anti-white” symbol would be.”

A Black Power fist smashing a loaf of Wonder bread?

So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?

Look, I’m sure that some of the more liberal yuppies will be depressed, but I think that your mass suicide fears are overblown.

Shorter Sadly, No! Round Up:

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

(standard Shorter disclaimer here, I am aware of all Internet traditions)

You liberals are making this so easy! All one has to do is switch around the races in the Jena 6 scenario and the whole thing is indefensible. Your hypocrisy is exposed and so far no one, not even a bonafide grade A Professor in racial and ethnic studies can handle it. All they can do is squirm and shriek insults – too damn funny!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Dumb libs think they’ve got this election in the bag, but once people remember Jena and, um, Robert Byrd and Ted Kennedy and somethin’, it’s clear sailing for Comeback Mac!

My give-a-crap-o-meter is running pretty low on this one, dingus, so as long as you want to waste your time going bonkers over some stupid racial issue from two years ago, keep right on trucking. I’ll call you from Obama’s victory party.

So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?

Nope, not a racist at all, whatsoever. Some of your best friends are…well, we’ve heard it before.

Have a look, cool guy. You’re putting all your chips on the roulette ball landing on double zero. Good luck with that. Your cribbing of the Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot’s We’re winning! We’re winning! was delightfully annoying back when Palinmania was a viable political force. Now it’s just sad. Don’t make me sad.

And I would politely ask why exactly you’re so sure that McPalin is going to win, but the reasons you’ve given before (the now-discredited Bradley Effect, the fact that Michelle Obama humina humina humina) are so dimwitted that it’s not worth hearing you expound upon them. Truly, you think McCain is going to win because you’re a delusional crybaby with serious bitter backwater to overcome. Just as Ace Of Spades/the Glennbot/others shouldn’t be allowed to work out frustrations over their manlihood on our time, you should get your shit together in private. You’re stinking up the joint.

I gleefully, enthusiastically, beamingly encourage Republicans to keep making this election about Al Sharpton and Socialism and Bill Ayers and Rashid Khalidi.

But then, I feed on Republicans’ tears, I am nourished by their pain of their massive, deforming, crushing upcoming loss, I am become Defeat, Destroyer of Reaganism.

the now-discredited Bradley Effect

Where was this discredited? Cuz, this is a real worry I have, and if someone’s conclusively discredited this I’d love to see it.

OT:

We had a minor earthquake just outside Dallas this morning. In case you’re not aware, that does not happen here.

I give it ~6 hours before some wingnut says this is a “sign” about our upcoming Negropocalypse.

This happens to the waiter again and again. Being stiffed by lying shitbag republicans who wilfully misinterpret the results of reality of their shitbag actions. The waiter and the homeless man vote for Obama.

The homeless man then proceeded to walk down the street and was shot in the leg by a cop who mistook the dollar tip for a knife.

Where was this discredited?

Nate Silver over at 538 has made a bunch of posts debunking the effect. I’d start here, then snoop around.

Basically, racists won’t vote for Obama. But they’ve already told us that. Those that straight-up won’t but refuse to admit it to pollsters are few and far between; saying that McCain can win because of the Bradley Effect is like saying the Pittsburgh Pirates will win the World Series next year because they’re scrappy. It’s unsupported wishful thinking, nothing more.

Tr-oaf: you misintrerpret reality again. no one here, including DrDick, is advocating teenagers beating each other up. no one here says terrible racial anger is good for any of those teenagers. you are the only person reveling in a small town’s tragedy, and that’s because you are a piece of shit.

Indiana:

A piece of shit who, several threads ago, equated white people with “real Americans.”

Drop him. He ain’t worth your time.

Simba B: The Bradley Effect was discredited in the actual original Bradley election, and by many statisticians and pollsters as well as by Tom Bradley’s campaign manager.

The so-called “Bradley Effect” was based on those who read only those doubtful polls which suggested a lead for Bradley (other polls consistently and correctly had him behind); Bradley actually won among people voting at the ballot box; and Bradley was defeated by the massive response rate of absentee ballots, which conservatives successfully organized for that overwhelmingly older, whiter, and more conservative absentee-ballot-using population.

So, those who said Bradley was ahead were wrong in reading polls selectively (you always have some outlier and you cannot ignore other contradictory polls), and in fact those who showed up behaved in the opposite fashion, voting for Tom Bradley in higher proportions than the polls had predicted.

The Bradley Effect could thus be reinterpreted as saying “White people will actually vote in higher proportion for black candidates at the polls than early polls would suggest, but don’t be an idiot and read polls selectively, and don’t ignore the use of other ways of voting like early and absentee ballots.”

To back this up, I travel forward in time 2 days to bring you this news from Sunday:

Debunking the ‘Bradley Effect’

By Ken Khachigian | The Washington Post | Sunday, November 2, 2008; Page B01

They call it “the Bradley effect.”

Pundits and politicians speak of it in ominous tones. It surfaced in New Hampshire in January, when Barack Obama’s eight-point lead on the eve of that state’s primary dissolved into a shocking come-from-behind victory for Hillary Rodham Clinton. Could it have been the Bradley effect? Chris Matthews of “Hardball” and a host of other talking heads thought so.

As Obama continues to hold a lead in the presidential polls against John McCain, the specter of the Bradley effect still haunts the race. It’s a reference to the 1982 California governor’s race, which Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, an African American, lost to state Attorney General George Deukmejian even though a popular election-eve poll showed Bradley ahead by a solid seven points. If Obama should lose on Nov. 4, there are those who’ll maintain it was the Bradley effect at work. Even in faraway Kenya, the Los Angeles Times found a Nairobi choreographer to quote: “There’s this thing called ‘the Bradley effect’ that we are all very afraid of.”

Enough. This urban legend that holds that white voters may be telling pollsters they’re voting for Obama while they’re secretly harboring racial reservations about him deserves to be banished from our political conversation. As a senior strategist and day-to-day tactician in Deukmejian’s 1982 campaign, I’m happy to send it packing once and for all…

…exit polls showing Bradley winning were skewed by the unprecedented wave of absentee voters. In early September, the state GOP apparatus had set in motion a campaign to promote absentee-ballot voting — something quite common today but more unusual a quarter-century ago. The party’s push contributed to more than a half-million absentee voters, 50 percent more than in the previous gubernatorial election. As so many other observers, Democrat as well as Republican, have noted, Bradley may well have won with actual precinct voters. But he was swamped by overwhelmingly Republican absentee ballots counted late into the night and the early morning hours.

In short, Bradley was defeated because he was out-organized.

The Truth believes Liberals are Hypocrites.

IF Liberals respond, it only proves that Liberals Are Hypocrites

IF Liberals do not respond, it only proves that Liberals Are Hypocrites

TAUTOLOGY: A=A

Troofy, I think Dr.Dick is out happily leading his everyday life while you’re here blaring your contrarian crap on a blog where everyone thinks you’re a douchebag.

But go ahead and feel superior about that.

everyone I’ve shown this too has laughed their asses off.

I’m sure you’re mom is very proud of you.

So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?

What’s the airspeed of a laden European swallow, dickless?

God, fivethirtyeight is depressing lately. Obama has never gotten over 97% – he’s just not closing the deal.

So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?

Wheee! Those straw men go over so easy, don’t they?

But what if unicorns decided to stop trading fairy dust with the leprechauns? What THEN, libtards!!!

So what’s going to be the latency between Obama’s concession statement and the sounds of gunfire in the inner city?

Q: If you were paddling down the street in your canoe, how many pancakes would it take to cover a dog house?

A: 32, because in 1932 they made wooden golf balls.

(Also acceptable: Blue, because ice cream has no bones.)

Q: If you were paddling down the street in your canoe, how many pancakes would it take to cover a dog house?

No soap, radio!

chocolatepie:

Clearly, crayons are water up.

I wonder which anti-American miliitia Truth will join up with?

Will it be one of the typical ones, where the members shoot each other by accident while out on “training”?

Or will it be one of those that blow themselves up with homemade bombs?

However, there is another possibiltiy. I think there will be a new version of the Clinton-era militias: The chickenhawk blogger version. There will be a new 101st Chairborne out there, endlessly whining about how they’re going to take their Awe&0me Ar$ena1! and bring down the black blackity-black government.

Matt Towery: “Paranoid Nation: The Real Story of The 2008 Fight For The Presidency is already on sale at Amazon.com…Here are just some of the strange facts surrounding this historic presidential contest…George W. Bush made a series of decisions that all but guaranteed that his Republican Party would have a nearly impossible time of it in 2008.”

Well, it’s hard to disagree with that.

No soap, radio!

Get out of my head, or pay rent, dammit!

There will be a new 101st Chairborne out there

In Truth’s case, it will be the 101st Clairol.

After the Republican man acted rudely in the restaurant, the Democrats at the surrounding tables watched as he left. Through the windows they saw him walk up to the homeless guy, and very deliberately show him two one-dollar bills. Although they couldn’t hear the Republican’s, his angry voice could be heard even through the window. Then the Republican very deliberately placed the money back into his own coat pocket and stalked off.

Without consulting each other, each of the Democrats increased their tips by $5. And as they left, each also gave $5 to the homeless person.

-The End-

Get out of my head, or pay rent, dammit!

Hey, what happened to the great socialist people’s utopia, y’ petit bourgeoise swine?

Be nice or I’ll send the palcontents over to debrain you, capitalist running dog.

Feel the McMentum…in Arizona!

The new numbers from Research 2000: McCain 48%, Obama 47%, with a ±4% margin of error. The key number from the internals is that Obama is winning the early vote by a 54%-42% margin, and this group is expected to make up 17% of the total likely voters.

“OFAY” spelled out in saltines?

This is beautiful.

Alternate:

The insulted waiter decides to tell the Republican his card has been declined. Since only the little people carry cash, the Republican has to wash dishes in the back. This so humiliates him he insults the homeless man on his way out. Since the man is homeless because his mental institution was closed for budget reasons under Reagan, and this is the last straw, the homeless man gives the Republican a beatdown and steals his wallet.

When the ambulance arrives, they ascertain that the unconscious Republican has no medical insurance, so he wakes up in the charity ward, where he has been misdiagnosed by an overworked physician as suffering from epilepsy. Tens of thousands of dollars in tests later, the Republican is released from the hospital, to embark on a pointless quest to not have to pay all this money, but his health insurer points out he had not gotten permission for this hospital visit.

The end.

The new numbers

Let’s see…

54% of 17% +/- 3.2% (extrapolate for historical regional variables) ~ 5-day weather forecast ^ random demographic shifts :: polling station irregularities/media influence…

I can safely predict a result Tuesday evening.

/superstition

Hey, what happened to the great socialist people’s utopia, y’ petit bourgeoise swine?

The least you could do is furnish the fucking place!

The smirking Republican leaves the restaurant. The waiter mutters “asshole” under his breath, shrugs his shoulders, and moves on to his next customer. The homeless man is pleasantly surprised by the unexpected dollar bill that has been wadded up and tossed his way.

The Republican drives his Mercedes to his dark empty house, wondering yet again why, if he’s so clever and always wins, he can never rid himself of that deep sucking hole of despair in his soul. The waiter ends his shift, counts his tips, and joins his friends for their weekly poker game. The homeless man buys a bottle of beer and has a few moments of pleasure. The End.

Denial is only a river in Egypt.

Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.

Oh shit the president is a NEGRO! Run for the hills!!!!

Seems a man walks past a homeless person on his way into a restaurant. His waiter is wearing an Obama button, and after he finishes lunch, he asks the waiter if he supports Obama’s wealth redistribution ideas. The waiter says yes, so the man tells him he is taking his tip and giving it to the homeless man. It seems the waiter didn’t appreciate the redistribution of money from those who earn it to those who need it.

Actually, the waiter had the last laugh, since he peed in the guy’s soup, knowing ahead of time he was a dick.

Just…sad.

The Truth Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:05

Hmm – seems I brought up a few not-so-minor Republican hoaxes a while back, & some little weasel had (& STILL has) absolutely jack-shit to say about it … some goofy stuff to do with Kuwaiti incubator-babies: though this was a Kuwaiti Royal Family con, Bush Sr. (who with his CIA ins must have known from Day One that it was pure hokum) pimped the hell out of it to sell the same wag-the-dog war his rep April Gillespie had sworn to Saddam was never going to happen, because his invading Kuwait was strictly an “Arab-Arab affair” … pretty snazzy hoaxing, eh, Herr Trout?

Yeah, oh, & that boffo “smoking gun in the form of a mushroom-cloud” prank his kid Georgie pulled – for the war he’d been itching to launch since before he even moved into the White House, so he could feed his arms- & petro-industry buds a few extra swimming-pools full of yummy-nummy cash … that just happened to be coated in human blood.

THOSE hoaxes didn’t ruin reputations or put innocent people in jail – they turned a seriously big number of folks into carrion … including grandmas & little babies.

Surely you wouldn’t run away and hide again? You are endlessly disgusting as you desperately hope that avoiding me will make your evident hypocrisy and intellectual cowardice go away. Get bent.

Still don’t have a straight answer YET, do you?
Three days.

The decision to finance a final advertising push is forcing McCain to curtail spending on Election Day ground forces to help usher his supporters to the polls, according to Republican consultants familiar with McCain’s strategy.

The vaunted, 72-hour plan that President Bush used to mobilize voters in 2000 and 2004 has been scaled back for McCain. He has spent half as much as Obama on staffing and has opened far fewer field offices. This week, a number of veteran GOP operatives who orchestrate door-to-door efforts to get voters to the polls were told they should not expect to receive plane tickets, rental cars or hotel rooms from the campaign.

“The desire for parity on television comes at the expense of investment in paid boots on the ground,” said one top Republican strategist who has been privy to McCain’s plans. “The folks who will oversee the volunteer operation have been told to get out into the field on their own nickel.”

Yep, soulcrushing, it is to laugh, libs, &c.

The Truth Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 21:31

You NEVER DUCK ME?!?

You never answer my fucking questions, twit.
Never.
Didn’t do it THIS time, either.

I certainly notice YOU defending neocon hypocrisy … & your ongoing role here as Pet Punching-Bag has already become a stale joke.

Powell is still a gobshite – his sudden outbreak of IQ points notwithstanding.

I could give a rat’s left nut what either Gore or Kerry thought about it – they didn’t set it in motion, Pappy Shrub did.

Yeah, that Highway Of Death was a real load of laughs too. What could be more HEROIC than napalming & machinegunning people in the back while they flee for their lives? Yellow Ribbons Uber Alles … good times.

Thanks for your non-answer, thus proving my point, AGAIN.
Have a nice fail.

Poor Truth.

You know, liberals, when your Chairman is lying to you before he is even elected

Ruh roh. Truth kinda gave us an inch there.

Finally gonna admit the inevitable, eh?

You explain why my interpretation of Jena is wrong, and I’ll vote for Obama.

You ascribed an ideological motive in a case plainly primarily dictated by individual human nature. Someone cries foul, the usual response is to defend them, not to suspect them of deceit.

Any folks that made political book on the matter were likewise apt to be in on it for their OWN gain &/or glory, not “to bring greater power to the almighty Party” … & so it goes.

You’re gonna need a bigger boat, kiddo.

Truth-

Thanks, but I don’t need your vote.

Toodles!

Your interpretation of Jena is wrong because you’re an idiot.

Note that you didn’t say that you had to agree with the interpretation, merely that you demanded an explanation.

QED, etc.

You explain why my interpretation of Jena is wrong, and I’ll vote for Obama.

Oh, so your political allegiances are that cheap.

All in all it’s been great fun – everyone I’ve shown this too has laughed their asses off.

You do know your imaginary friends are not real, right?