But he’s running for Congress, donchaknow! He’s an ignorant tool with delusions of competency, which is what real Americans are seekin in this time a crisis you betcha.

There was a mix-up a few months ago—Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in. The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since.
Only now are people beginning to figure out that the semi-organic entity walking around calling itself “Joe the Plumber” is actually a huge lump of shit, passing for human.

‘Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in. The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since.”

Disregard and disrespect real Americans at your peril, my liberal droogs. After McCain’s LANDSLIDE next week, you may wish you could eat those words, but it will be to late because nothing ever goes away on the internet, especially trolls.

The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.

joe the dumber.

good one, right?

disregard and disrespect real Americans at your peril

Are you really trying to tell me that a walking, quasi-animate lump of human shit counts as more of a “real american” than the 60% of the country that prefers Obama to McCain?

Don’t ask me, I’m just a half-hearted parody troll.

Do watch the video at Think Progress. Shepard Smith is clearly frustrated and bothered by what he hears. And Joe The really thinks he being smart and coy and zingereque by saying yeah, I agreed with a crazy statement, but the onus to explain the reasons why is not on me but on everyone else. A winning debate strategy, should he choose to run for office.

PALIN/JOE-THE-NON-PLUMBER 2012!!1!!

“Ignorance you can believe in.”

McCain taps Palin, and she “goes rogue” (isn’t that a synonym for “maverick”?) and talks about her clothes and socialism. He elevates Joe the P. to national prominence, and ends up with a skinhead announcing that Obama will destroy Israel.

Can this please never end?

“The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.”

Joe the Plumber isn’t even qualified to be a plumber. This last ploy of the McCain Campaign is absolutely embarrassing to the American public in its total pandering to people’s basest ideas and most superstitious beliefs. And you are a total embarrassment to educated people, which you apparently are, because of your total inability to equate thought processes with typing skills.

At a stop in Columbus, he fielded the question on Israel from a self-identified Jewish senior citizen.

It wasn’t me. (Although I’m neither Jewish nor am I quite willing to self-identify as a senior citizen yet, I was in Columbus today. At work. Hard at work. Honest!)

Joe shaves his head so the media elite can’t steal his thoughts via hair vibrations.

I’m not clear on what’s happening here. Is Wurzelbacher doing this on his own or did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?

He really is an American Everyman…

sniff!

[wipes tear from eye]

At work. Hard at work. Honest!

You just lost any welfare LIEberal socialist cred you had around here, pal. I, on the other hand, sat around and ate imported bonbons all day today. OR DID I?

I thought you were only due 15 minutes of fame. Joe met that mark about 9 minutes into the third debate.

Our cable news shows really are just an incarnation of American Idol.

Vote him off the island.

But did you have bourbon with your bonbons, tigrismus?

Enquiring minds want to know!

It will be revealed later this week that this whole “Joe the Plumber” nonsense is a deep-cover antic of the Daily Show. You look at that picture of Joe and tell me that it’s not Rob Corddry.

Ya heard it here first.

Can this please never end?

Fixey-poo!

Cuz really and truly, I’ve had the most vicious headache since, oh, I think it was Palin’s hate speech at the Rethug convention. I cannot take much more.

One more week … one … more … week …

I had Louis Latour Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru, but after the bonbons, with an arugula salad and a French onion tart. And it’s not John Edward’s baby! I was kidnapped by aliens.

Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain.

This is the reason bold-headed men are uptight.

This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

I was waiting for the Whitnail & I reference!

This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

That’s a boldface lie!

Bush was able to beat Kerry largely because he was able to hang the “elitist” tag on the horse-faced senator. This time, it’s the ReThug who’s married to the multi-gazillionaire heiress, so to overcompensate we get such national jokes as Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Mooseburgers. McCain and Schmidt have an absolutely tin ear for identity politics. They can’t smear Obama as elitist for being RICH, so they smear him as elitist for being SMART. It has failed spectacularly.

Trotting out dumbasses like Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Palin only appeals to other dumbasses. I can’t imagine that there’s ever been a more cynical, anti-intellectual campaign run by a presidential candidate in American history.

One more week … one … more … week …

I’m with MzNicky. I want this election to be over.

I also want to suggest to all of you in or near a swing state to spend at least a couple of hours this week (or weekend) doing something to help out the Obama campaign. It’s not over until it’s over (and even if you think it is over, I can think of no compelling reason not to run up the score).

You know, it was just this past Friday when I speculated on the inevitable situation where Joe-The-Not-Plumber “opens his ignorant piehole and pops off something Bachmannian in its stupidity”.

Little did I know it would happen so quickly.

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! THE HANNITY ANTI-PALESTINIANGASM HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED! ABORT ALL SCREAMING ABOUT OBAMA AND THAT EVIL PROFESSOR RASHID KHALIDI WHO SAID NICE THINGS ABOUT OBAMA A COUPLE TIMES! ABORT! ABORT!

This is from ourearlier phase of screaming about Khalidi:

John McCain’s campaign is demanding that the Los Angeles Times release a video of a party for a prominent Palestinian activist that Barack Obama attended in 2003.

The Times described the going-away party for former University of Chicago professor, and Obama friend, Rashid Khalidi, in a story in April. The story reported that Palestinians thought they might have a friend in Obama because of his friendships in that community, despite the fact that his positions have never been particularly pro-Palestinian.

“A major news organization is intentionally suppressing information that could provide a clearer link between Barack Obama and Rashid Khalidi,” said McCain spokesman Michael Goldfarb, citing Obama’s friendship with Khalidi, who is now a professor at Columbia University.

THIS IS FROM THE UPDATED POST-ABORT PHASE:

McCain Funded Work Of Palestinian His Campaign Hopes To Tie To Obama

Huffington Post | October 28, 2008 04:34 PM

In regards to Khalidi, however, the guilt-by-association game burns John McCain as well.

During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars.

A 1998 tax filing for the McCain-led group shows a $448,873 grant to Khalidi’s Center for Palestine Research and Studies for work in the West Bank. (See grant number 5180, “West Bank: CPRS” on page 14 of this PDF.)

The relationship extends back as far as 1993, when John McCain joined IRI as chairman in January. Foreign Affairs noted in September of that year that IRI had helped fund several extensive studies in Palestine run by Khalidi’s group, including over 30 public opinion polls and a study of “sociopolitical attitudes.”

REPEAT: ABORT ALL SCREAMING ABOUT EVIL PROFESSOR RASHID KHALIDI IMMEDIATELY! PRETEND IN FACT THAT IT NEVER EVER HAPPENED AND WE NEVER MENTIONED HIM!!! URGENT!!! ABORT! ABORT!

From the foxbot link:

Stopping at a flag store, Wurzelbacher twice agreed with a questioner who said that “a vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel.”

A flag store. Really, where the fuck else.

I agree with MzNicky and the Dr. Missus. Let’s get Obama elected and finish this stupidity. There will of course be new stupidity, but a change is as good as a rest.

Ooops — H/T to DailyKos poster Alhena.

I like that the guy who thinks Obama means “death to Israel” also interrupts this line of thought to worry about a tax increase.

You can tell how truly committed he is to the idea of Israel’s imminent peril, and how much he really believes what he’s saying. It’s like he’s a passenger on a plane who looks out the window and notices something terribly wrong with the engines: “This plane is about to crash! And, by the way, what’s with having to pay for the earphones to watch the in-flight movie?”

If Obama wins, America will be ruined. Free enterprise, hard work and freedom will be replaced by black power, socialism and terrorists, probably greenshirts, too. America needs to drill for oil, kick out the illegals, shut up the gays and protect my children, all other issues do not matter.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors. You liberals hate it.

Stopping at a flag store

A flag store? [snort!] A real American (like me) has a six-pack of jumbo-sized American flags delivered to his doorstep every morning along with the milk.

What the hell is a greenshirt?

You’ll get my green shirt when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

I’m with MzNicky. I want this election to be over.

Yeah, I’m ready to consummate this thing already.

Soooo … what flavor of schadenfreude will ya’ll be drinking next Tuesday?

I can’t decide whether to slurge on some top shelf dark rum or a 21-year-old scotch. Either way, I will probably start the morning evening with a bottle of Saison DuPont or Saison Phantome.

I will also make it a point to eat arugula sometime during the day. Maybe an arugula salad and a quiche with wild mushrooms. Is that elitist enough?

Look, it’s funny and all, up to a point, but really it’s terrible the way the media has literally savaged this guy.

I mean, here’s a regular guy who just wants to use a question to make a point and get talked about, and then the so-called media jump all over him about “his conclusion is wrong” and “his premise is also wrong” and “he’s not actually a plumber” and “his name isn’t even Joe” and “he doesn’t seem to pay his taxes anyway so why should he care” on and on. It’s terrible. Here in the Heartland we don’t do things like that — if someone wins the Biggest Pumpkin contest and then later it turns out that it wasn’t a pumpkin but a pumpkin-shaped Astrojump, we all just pretend like it didn’t happen and have a new contest. Or if someone grabs Miss Land-O-Goshen’s lady parts and finds instead man parts, we just drink a whole lot of corn whiskey so as not to remember that (and, you know, while we’re so drunk it doesn’t count, no use letting that date go to waste).

So the thing to do now is to make sure we don’t learn anything from this, is what I guess I’m sayin’. Shucks.

I’m sick of this guy being called a plumber when he’s not and has no license and was an unemployed tax evader until Republicans hired him to be their mascot.

Joe-another-shitty-Republican is more like it.

What the hell is a greenshirt?

What me and my friend Hal Jordan fight over whenever one’s on sale at the Gap.

I’m not sure what greenshirts are; I think they’re the GI Joe guys who just wear regular uniforms (rather than a football jersey or a leather-daddy vest). But I will tell you this much: you’d better cut off all identifying labels.

For fuck’s sake SecurityMom, I already told you to get a better handle. If you’re gonna troll, you cannot use a handle made up from some bullshit 2004 demographic (side note: did Marc Penn create that one?). HockeyMom would do. PitBullMom is also acceptable. SkinHeadBitch is probably more accurate.

Besides, aren’t you too busy for trolling, what with all the making sure your son doesn’t masturbate to gay interracial porn and your daughter doesn’t masturbate at all?

I’m sick of this guy being called a plumber when he’s not and has no license and was an unemployed tax evader until Republicans hired him to be their mascot.
Come now, Lesley. Next you’ll be suggesting that real grass is better than astroturf.

What the hell is a greenshirt?

I’m guessing eco-nazi. Probably some Rush Limbaugh thing that only Real Americans see as anything but a dogwhistle.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors. You liberals hate it.

But I’m voting for Obama/Biden. Do you think my neighbor hates that?

Philosophy is hard!

Is that elitist enough?

Needs more bonbons.

Ah, Joe’s living the Amurrican Dream, man! He’s not a plumber, and he’s not buying a successful business, but he’s running around at rallies, pretending to be this fount of wisdom for what I hope is enough bucks to offset his legal problems and tax deficits.

He’s been pulled out of the audience, and instead of guessing the prices of appliances, he’s guessing the direction of foreign policy.

What a country.

Btw, since when is a plumber (that Joe even isn’t) from Bumfuck Egypt an expert on Israel and foreign policy?

And why isn’t he saying to reporters: Look, I’m not even a plumber so stop calling me a plumber and please stop asking questions I have no qualifications to answer.

See, that right there is the quality of individual that Bush hired to manage the aftermath of Katrina and the Justice Department and Homeland Security. I can already see McCain’s staffers offering this idiot a job at the Whitehouse as head of something or other, and although it wouldn’t be the plumbing dept. – which is just as well since Joe is not a plumber – it would be something else he hasn’t got the qualifications to manage.

I agree, except about the “ry” part.

They could hire him to leak information to the media.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors

I live in Cambridge. I can assure you they’re not.

My family lives in rural Oregon, and not even their neighbors are voting for McCain.

Btw, since when is a plumber (that Joe even isn’t) from Bumfuck Egypt an expert on Israel and foreign policy?

Well, you can see Israel from Egypt, and applying the Palin principle, there you go.

A real polyester-trousered, apple-pie-pooping American (me, for instance) has a basement full of illegal aliens chained to industrial sewing machines toiling 24-7 to produce a single American flag that will cover the entire state of Kansas.

Is Wurzelbacher doing this on his own or did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?

The latter. Today he was on a bus tour of Ohio with Rob Portman, former congressman and budget chief in the Bush Administration.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.

Neighbor, dear. Utah is just one state.

Is there anything left in the wardrobe budget for Joe the Unplumber?

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.

My neighbors are dust mites. They’re not registered.

Oh, yeah? Well, as a Lee Greenwood-listening Yankee Doodle-loving Star-Spangled NASCAR-American, I had myself tattoo-ed from head to toe to look just like an American flag and I hold on to a pole in my front yard and turn on this wind-machine I bought so that I’m parallel to the ground, flapping in the wind. I stay like this for eight hours a day, and right before sunset a troop of Boy Scouts folds me up into a neat little triangle and shoves me under my front door.

The only people voting for McCain are the village idiots (afflicted with 7 kinds of mad cow) and there aren’t enough of them, thankfully, to make a shred of difference.

In regards to Khalidi, however, the guilt-by-association game burns John McCain as well.

During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars.

Haahaaahaha, it’s the “Fake October Surprise” du jour. This one didn’t even last as long as Ashley Todd.

Joe is goin’ rogue and he’s too big to fail!!!

Neighbor, dear. Utah is just one state.

Heh. Nice one, senator.

I live in Utah, and my neighbors are voting for Obama.

Of course, the state is red like a hanky after a nosebleed, but my neighborhood is refreshingly enlightened.

did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?

Yes.

BTW, I call him “Joe the Fuckwad.”

But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.

Joe the Plumber Rally with John McCain in Miami, FL

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2008
7:30 AM to 11:00 AM
Address: Everglades Lumber: 6991 S.W. 8 Street
Miami, FL 33144
Please join

Senator John McCain

for a Joe the Plumber Rally

in Miami, FL

Everglades Lumber
6991 S.W. 8 Street
Miami, FL 33144

Doors Open at 7:30 a.m.

This is just pathetic.

But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.

I’ve thought of a few, and sure enough, they all work.

My favorite one so far is “fuckwalrus”.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.

Yeah, but I’m voting for Obama, so I get to help run the re-education camps. Be nice to me and I’ll slip you an extra helping of rat tart while the Fuherer’s back is turned.

But “Joe the Fuck(insert your choice of noun here)” also works.

Ooh, I wanna try!

Joe The Fucktard
Joe The Fuckface
Joe The Fuckhead
Joe The Fuckstain
Joe The Fucknozzle
Joe The Fuckbag
Joe The Fuckpig
Joe The Fuckass
Joe The Fuckfart

This is awesome.

I hear that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and chant seven times “Joe the Plumber come to us,” your toilet will flush.

Look, it’s funny and all, up to a point, but really it’s terrible the way the media has literally savaged this guy.

I have no sympathy.

McCain is the one who elevated him to iconic status for his own selfish purposes, not the media. Blame McCain.

The guy could have simply faded out like the so many other “regular guy” campaign stories in about two news cycles. He decided to keep whipping the horse.

No sympathy at all.

I hear that if you go into the bathroom, turn off the lights and chant seven times “Joe the Plumber come to us,” your toilet will flush.

I tried it, but the toilet clogged and flooded all over the place. Not recommended.

Ok, so imagine if you will, in a supreme rovian effort, you’re a mole in the mccain campaign and not just mole. No, you’re a mole for the dems and you’re mccain campaign manager. Now, if you’re going to be a successful mole, you can’t just come out on the first day of the campaign and say mccain is a gay, commie who wants to rip babies from the womb and eat them on love televsion. No, you have to be a little more subtle.

Ok, snap out of it. But consider this, if that were possible, could the mole do any more damage to the mccain campaign than it has done to itself, over and over again? palin, joe-the-walking-penis, angry john, suspending the campaign, the list goes on and on. Even aside from numerous of pictures of videos of your candidate doing everything but fellating the least popular president of modern times, could it be worse for these people?

And finally, a very brief commentary on the folks who get polled, yet it’s still “close”.

Words fail me.

Oh, and finally finally, I did what gerald curl suggested above, I chanted his name and all that happened was my toilet overflowed. Somehow that’s fitting.

I live in Utah, and my neighbors are voting for Obama.

The Salt Lake Tribune officially endorsed Obama last week.
http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_10750163
“A simple choice: The nation needs Barack Obama in the White House”… “The editorial board of The Salt Lake Tribune believes that Barack Obama can deliver…”

Is there anything left in the wardrobe budget for Joe the Unplumber?

Maybe that was who the “aggressively directional” menswear spree was meant for. Right Said Fred, meet Right Ho Joe! He’s too sexy for this pipesnake!

If Obama wins, America will be ruined. Free enterprise, hard work and freedom will be replaced by black power, socialism and terrorists, probably greenshirts, too. America needs to drill for oil, kick out the illegals, shut up the gays and protect my children, all other issues do not matter.

Excellent! Have all our green-shirted gays drill the illegals for oily children! Make America storng again, Morans!!!

The Salt Lake Tribune officially endorsed Obama last week.

So I saw, and most tickled I was. My neighborhood is bigger than I thought it was, at least this year.

I won’t deny that that’s amazing, but the SLTrib is Utah’s big secular paper. I don’t know if the Deseret News has made an endorsement – if they go Obama, I’ll be utterly featherknockoverable.

you’d better cut off all identifying labels

ooo Doctorb, you tease. you flirt.

Back to Whoever the Whatever: did the McCain campaign actually enlist this nitwit to do high-profile campaigning for them?

Whatever they’re paying him, it’s not enough. Can’t we do a blogaround or whatever, and keep him out there until Tuesday?

cuz srsly hez ossim.

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.

I live in Orange County, California, where just about everyone is a registered Republican, and not even my neighbors are voting for McCain.

Tuesday can’t come fast enough. It has been fun, but I need it to end so that I can stop obsessively looking at the news just to get a good laugh.

My friends, they laughed when I sat down to play the Might Wurzelbacher.

This is just pathetic.

Plumbers, carpenters, they’re all the same, my friends! John McCain had neither plumbing nor carpentry for five and a half years, so this is an acceptable compromise.

Redbreast Irish Whiskey. But I won’t start until very late, because that’s when PA will be called for McCain.

What are you, some kinda badger-lovin’ pussy? Up here in Real American Butte, we don’t cater to you wusses that imbibe of the spirits what come in bottles with labels.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, check out the gallery of “I’m Joe the Plumber” videos at the McCain web site.

From the Huffington Post

In a phone interview with CBS’ Katie Couric, Joe Wurzelbacher said Barack Obama “tap dance[d] … almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr.” in their conversation.

Someone needs to explain to McCain what “a liability” means. Also “research” and “reference check.”

Every worthwhile CEO – as McNuts describes himself- should have these nailed.

While we’re on the subject of self-destructing plumbers: Pete the Plumber checks out, in true plumber style.

(Robert Crumb, in Spanish translation.)

Aw, Twoofie, that’s so cute. You think your grandpa will win a big ole’ bwue state.

I don’t know if the Deseret News has made an endorsement – if they go Obama, I’ll be utterly featherknockoverable.

If the Deseret News goes for Obama I’m off to sell electric blankets in Hades, which will undoubtedly be suffering a sudden cold snap.

Redbreast Irish Whiskey.

Elitist.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, check out the gallery of “I’m Joe the Plumber” videos at the McCain web site.

The Daily Show did a great skit last night on Palin’s rejection of labels. When asked if she considered herself a feminist, she replied that she didn’t like labels and didn’t label people. LOOK AT ALL THE LABELS ON THE MCCAIN SITE. Har.

It’s McBob the McBuilder on Steroids

Joe the Magician

Bill the Contractor

Brad the Welder

Duane the Entrepreneur

North Carolina Wisdom

Karl the Laminator

Bill the Entreprenuer

Chuck and the American Dream

Tara the Teacher

Jeff the Truck Driver

Joe the Entrepreneur

Joe the Shadow

John the Caterer

Pam the Shop Owner

Cesar from Cuba (LOOK, IT’S GARY RUPPERT!)

A Concerned Senior Citizen (BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET OLD AND REMAIN UNCONCERNED!)

John the Dad

Helen the Entreprenuer

An American for McCain (FIND ME A POLE FOR McCAIN THAT ISN’T IN A A STRIP BAR?)

Dawn the Realtor (SUBPRIME?)

Chris the Counselor (NOT PLANNED PARENTHOOD)

Josie the Transcriptionist

Sandra and her Trucking Company

Damon and Valerie the Aviators

Joe the Veteran

An Honest Living (HAR! THIS ONE AIN’T JOE.)

Amy the Small Business Owner

Michelle on the American Dream

Maureen on Hard Work

Frank on Creating Jobs

An American Family (THERE’S NO OTHER KIND)

America the Beautiful

My American Dream

Ash the Entreprenuer

Gina the Student (WOULD LIKE MORE BANK STUDENT LOANS AT HIGHER INTEREST RATES)

Dr. Jason the Independent

Jeff the Realtor

Joe the Builder

An American Dream

Marty the Independent Voter

Michelle on the American Dream

Maureen on Hard Work

Frank on Creating Jobs

Paul on Who Gets It

Where’s Duane on Meth?

Is it me or does Joe-The-Not-Plumber look like that scary always-pissed-off-looking bald guy from “The Shield” who’s always looking pissed off and aiming a gun at someone?

Is it me or does Joe-The-Not-Plumber look like that scary always-pissed-off-looking bald guy from “The Shield” who’s always looking pissed off and aiming a gun at someone?

He also looks like Steve Schmidt without a suit, or maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.

What are you, some kinda badger-lovin’ pussy? Up here in Real American Butte, we don’t cater to you wusses that imbibe of the spirits what come in bottles with labels.

Good grief, we are ALL Rugged in Montana now!

We sure am, me!

Looks to me like Sibelius in his mid-30s — when he suddenly stopped being a Romantic poet type with wild hair and a consumptive build and a far-away stare; and morphed into a bald-headed beetle-browed glowering hulk, a sort of Scandinavian sumo wrestler.
Sibelius was scary.

…maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.

Joe Luthor, the Cousin Nobody Talks About.

Looks to me like Sibelius in his mid-30s…

I’ll bet that’s intentional. If the plumbing gig doesn’t pan out, he’s ready to become Joe the Composer.

…maybe a more down-home version of Lex Luthor.

Let’s just call him…X-Lax Luther.

Larry the seven-fingered mail-bomber

Josephine the perpetually “in a transition phase” 29-year-old stripper

Jimmy the Mole

Kathleen the road-rageaholic soccer-mom

Evan the hopelessly naive believer in the prosperity gospel

Chad the C-student son of law partner

George the Lockheed Martin executive

I can keep going people! It’s a very big tent. Anyone else have any suggestions?

Oh I’ve got suggestions all right.

Sarah, Alaska beauty contest winner and new and prettier Cheney if you’ll have me

Joe the Plumber who can’t fix your pipes or pay taxes but has yer foreign policy right here

John McCain, he’s not afraid to yell “cunt” at a woman in public

Ted the Inmate

Spider the Guy Who Cooks Meth

Dave the Butcher

Joe the Barista

Juan the Migrant Farm Laborer

Zoltan the Amazing

Jeff the Male Prostitute

Franz the Archduke

Tito the President of Yugoslavia

John the Racebaiter and Sarah the Nieman Marcus Model love Joe the Plumber even though he’s full of shit.

-GSD

Fleet Admiral Vikiyoyyaycro Reptilian the Shepherd
Explosivesdir Invigorate the Chemist
Audrie Ploypreebo the Secretary
Softinisha Philippians-Emerson the Fire Marshal
Mayor JogPersianizations Darlings the Garbage Collector
Baroness Rowed Dajotigrim the Switchboard Operator
Sportivethoud Heartbeat-Blends the Mountain Rescuer
Lynette-Clelia Pigizo the Saxophonist
Baron Noydonnie Carin the Firefighter
Bernadinexayy Wichboldoyb the Graphic Artist
Dr. Blends-Filter the Sex Worker
Guru Meefedajocaklzoy Hayes-Emergency the Software Engineer
Russians Tuxoyplva the Tuner
Great Grandma Gej the Calligrapher
Kari-Dino Toucrjivixshood the Cellist
Baron Xacrouvav the Record Producer
Countess Faviola the Coroner
Private Brushlike Mountaineering-Pacemaker the Librarian
Sister General Sik the Screenwriter
Toymclewoh Leaden-Organist the Animator
Mister Indoor the Calligrapher
Burps Speed the Hotelier
Alysha Web the Haberdasher
Dijo Carlene the Industrialist
Lanka the Paramedic
Nayleefay Stephane the Tutor
Chelseypre Winifred the Educator
Joleneyet Ga the Transit Planner
Handingra Unmistakable-Barry the Educationalist
Count Clilashunda Spoil the Cognitive Scientist
Cimewepl vohbol Compromises the Youth Worker
Chief Warrant Officer Zoklechase Ruth the Crystallographer
Nicolasa Tenesha the Tutor
Nourteeteetou Judgments the Sexologist
Marge Thujipeh the Fire Marshal
Sittersfee Titus the Ferryman
Normallysur Yvone the Locksmith
Grandmother Absorbed Geoffrey the Donkey Trainer
Boyvi Cleecloklquouvav the Matador
Robrightens Tranquil-Michelson the Orthopaedist
Maricelamouy Silk-Warrants the Dictator
Commodore Intimidation Woymelequoohegum the Landlord
Lieutenant Institutemopl Kemberly the Civil Servant
Grandma Crashed the Designer
Commander Soygkih Trough-Existential the Odontologist
Gunnery Sergeant Hindu the Playwright
Raelenecoyde Letter the Cop
Queen Blitzesthu Anton the Vicar
Sergeant First Class HeklWilma Dahl-Shin the Custodian
Major General Bife Sealed the Economist
President Sov the Webmaster
Pacoosik Alysia the Police Officer
Rear Admiral Micaelapoho Accordions-Dents the Logistician
Klud Stream the Photographer
Noticeably Tuf the Construction Engineer
Pope Cliftonquf Alba the Dustman
Zayledde Mirella the Materials Scientist
Plaquplooccooldocr Soyg the Chemist
Teddy-Charlyn Lizzie the Parker
Eric-Alayna Routinely-Attendants the Courier
Prince Adjuredcrou Stephenie the Test Pilot
Retard Lillie the Police inspector
Hekloutstrips Toby the Film Producer
Doctor Ruthie the Broadcast Engineer
Prothrueben Ivy the Horse Trainer
Batavia Kurt the Weaponsmith
Yoyyoculegitgay Nuployqunookelayc the Cognitive Scientist
ShaIda Radioed-Recur the Clerk
Second Lieutenant Eustolia Chronography-Alps the Banker
Brother Doysazdoucash Material the Business Analyst
Lieutenant Commander Chang-Yaeko Plum the Camp Counselor
Commodore Herbert the Private Detective
Major General Schoolrooms the Estate Agent
Queen Lahvescoo the Model
Admiral Johnnie-Susann Dixie-Candidates the Real Estate Developer
Bloodiest Overjoyed the Florist
Aversionvee Olympia the Illustrator
Yoyyo Socorro the Organist
Lance Corporal Charlielah Patented the Demographer
Cardinal Cherlyquoo Lyndia the Choreographer
Commander Buff Valencia the Cowherd
Rouvixsov Equinox-Collection the Circuit Preacher
Saint Sam the Carpenter
Migraine Coojjon the Modeller
Babara-Josephine Powder the Technician
Diaper Fran the House Painter
King Docriot Accepts-Assigners the Bookseller
Commodore Darker the Doctor
Cousin Unshaken Pli the Stunt performer
Grandpa Quoklbitches Flatter the Nuclear Engineer
Crouboymmuric Joleen the Drummer
Brigadier General Chief Warrant Officer Plunder-Putnam the Pathologist
Toymgeeclay the Lecturer
Stefania Clubbed-Tribunes the Drycooper
Morphism Alamos the Geophysicist
Zoysander Kloththich the Television Announcer
Great Grandma Noe the Taxonomist
Cemeteries Jere the Beauty Queen
ascensionjih Palma the Accountant
Colonel Myrtis the Fruiterer
Joodutenooke Prakveymef the Aerospace Engineer

I do not believe I’d want Diaper Fran painting my house. Bet she’d install a good shit moat though.

Joe the Plumber Rally with John McCain in Miami, FL

WTF is he running for?

I, for one, accept as the ultimate authority on foreign policy toward Israel, a non-licensed plumber from Toledo, Ohio, named Wurzelbacher.

Karl the Ratfucker
Jonah the Retard
K-Lo the Secret Alcoholic
Glenn the Honesty-Slayer
J-Pod the William Howard Taft Impersonator
Rush the Tweaker

“The Truth said,

Redbreast Irish Whiskey”

Note to self: Avoid Redbreast Irish Whiskey. It seems to be popular amongst the fucknozzle set.

#

Gary Ruppert said,

“October 29, 2008 at 1:59

The fact is, Joe the Plumber is equally qualified — if not better — to evaluate Obama’s policy towards the Middle East than the so-called intellectual elite and so-called mainstream Israeli public opinion.”

Mr. Ruppert:

Neither Joe nor you appear to have one God damned clue what mainstream Israeli public opinion is, nor, apparently, do you have a clue about what is going on there, or what is good for Israel. I would bet a thousand dollars that Joe the Plumber could not, without coaching, find Jerusalem and Tel Aviv on a map of Israel.

Israel is a real place, full of living human beings, not a pawn in your pathetic electoral game.

I have lived and worked in Israel, with Jews, Palestinians, Israeli Arabs and Bedouins. This was a non-political and non- religious job. I can guarantee you that virtually no one in Israel agrees with, or gives a damn about your right wing power fantasies.

The people of this country finally have seen through your lies, your hatred, your greed and your stupidity. It’s time to take Joe and disappear from the public discourse.

I totally saw that coming.

I infinitely prefer the original “X the Y” politician, Seattle’s own Mike the Mover.

I’d still hit that.

Green shirt? Here’s Elvis Costello’s Green Shirt (sadly, very crappy video).

I am voting McCain/Palin. So are your neighbors.

The yard signs in my neighborhood suggest otherwise.

And I live in Florida.

Anticipated Cuc said,
October 29, 2008 at 9:25 (kill)

I totally saw that coming.

Now that’s funny.

You know who I feel sorry for? Every other plumber named Joe, who now has to hear this shit for the rest of their lives every time they make a housecall.

Bush was able to beat Kerry largely because he was able to hang the “elitist” tag on the horse-faced senator. This time, it’s the ReThug who’s married to the multi-gazillionaire heiress, so to overcompensate we get such national jokes as Joe Teh Plumber and Sarah Mooseburgers.

Yeah, Bush didn’t go to no high-fallootin’ East Coast college, has never tasted quail, and he CERTAINLY doesn’t wear Brooks Brothers. He’d much rather be livin’ in a trailer with y’all than in the fanciest fucking government-sponsored mansion in the world.

[…] they have him out there anyway, giving us his deep thoughts on socialism. You simply can not make this shit up. The McCain campaign is now a surrealist farce. Or maybe I […]

Gunnery Sergeant Hindu the Playwright

Second Lieutenant Eustolia Chronography-Alps the Banker

Yoyyoculegitgay Nuployqunookelayc the Cognitive Scientist

A barrage of win! A fusillade!

Man, talk about screwing the pooch without a rubber: when you’re slagging Obama & even a guy on FOX NEWS(!) is giving you the stinkeye, maybe it’s past time for you to STFU.

Well, at least it’s a step up from having some homeless crackhead boasting about giving Obama a hummer & snorting blow with him.

Barely.

I won’t start until very late, because that’s when PA will be called for McCain.

O RLY?

Yes, Herr Trout, very late indeed – like, say, late 2016.
Maybe.
5 days.

Stopping at a flag store

‘Cos FSM knows that he’s never been in a plumbing supply shop!

Joe the Plumber is an a-hole who thinks he’s hot sh*t. They say he’s 34 years old but he looks 50. Sounds like he’s already got a contract to sing country music in Nashville. Betcha he won’t sell crap and will soon go back to unclogging toilets.