As predicted, Monday’s Senate judicial filibuster compromise has produced an avalanche of hilarious wingnuttery. Let’s check out the highlights.

(Also, be sure to check out Vespa’s report on Michael Reagan.)

First, let’s visit Renew America, where pundit Bonnie Rogoff is furious that Judge William Pryor (one of the judicial nominees set to receive an up-or-down vote) isn’t wingnutty enough for her tastes:

Judge William Pryor, Jr. cannot be trusted to defend traditional values. As Alabama’s Attorney General, he vigorously prosecuted Judge Roy Moore resulting in the Ten Commandments monument and Judge Moore being removed. Although Judge Pryor has called Roe v. Wade an “abomination,” as Attorney General in Alabama he said would uphold Roe, and he did!

My God! He fullfilled his duty as Attorney General and upheld the law! What a fucking commie!

Next up is Robert Meyer, who attacks John McCain with some… colorful… metaphors:

This brings us to the McCain seven. No doubt Captain Moderate and his deck hands are happily eating the strawberries today, rather than hand shuffling those marbles in their pants pockets.

Yes, because McCain doesn’t play with his balls on the Senate floor, he’s a sell-out who probably aborted Terri Schiavo’s fetus all by himself.

I can only hope the voters who put these people in office will now make their traitoress representatives walk the plank for this act of mutiny.

Those moderate Republican women are so sneaky- sure, they’re beautiful and seductive, but watch out, because they’re likely traitoresses like Senator Olympia Snowe.

Now let’s mosey over to the nerve center of the wingnut hive, Townhall, to hear from star pundit Ben “Porn Generation” Shapiro:

The so-called “nuclear option,” by which Senate Republicans would have sought a rules change to prevent filibusters on judicial nominees, is therefore not only fully constitutional, but more in line with the spirit of the document than minority obstructionism.

Because there’s nothing the Founding Fathers hated more than the separation of powers.

Thomas “The Kidney Man Can” Sowell is similarly displeased:

If it was just the Republican Party that lost in this confrontation, that would be a minor partisan matter. What is of major importance is that the American people lost a golden opportunity that may not come again in this generation.

And now the American people will never know the joy of Supreme Court Justice Ann Coulter. I gotta admit, it’s disappointing.

Over at The Rant, Justin Darr attacks the judicial branch in general:

An incompetent judiciary has created legions of unethical lawyers who understand that the high cost of defending yourself in the cumbersome and inconsistent courts will prevent most doctors and companies from defending their rights and settle out of court. The affects go far beyond “this coffee is hot” and “this bag is not a toy” labels on everything and create a dilution of our quality of life. Parks are closed, time honored events cancelled, and even the most simple tasks become bogged down with endless legal paperwork because some people feel that it is everyone else’s responsibility to deal with their lack of judgment.

First the judiciary mandated warning labels on coffee cups. The very next year, they closed down Yellowstone Park. And even as we speak, villainous judges are plotting their ultimate coup: canceling Christmas.

Finally, let’s head over to Mich News and read Sher Zieve’s lengthy diatribe on Harry Reid’s sex habits:

Instead of a magic wand, Harry Reid uses his mouth.

So Harry’s a big fan of giving oral. I thought most women would like that, but apparently Sher’s a “missionary position only” kinda gal.

And in place of fighting on the side of good, Harry readily and passionately embraces the dark forces. As Senate Minority leader, Reid has already taken the Democrat art of obstructionism far beyond that of his predecessor Tom Daschle. And in a manner similar to the infamous and ongoing Howie Dean screams, no Republican is safe from his rantings and invented falsehoods. Harry’s once quick smile has turned into a leer and his demeanor has degraded to that of a permanently enraged and deranged man. Yikes! His apprentice training is almost complete. Will we soon see his eyes begin to glow?

Hmmm, we’ve gone from Harry Potter metaphors to Star Wars metaphors. Get your damn nerd stories straight, woman!

And there’s your update on filibuster wingnuttery. I’m sure I’ll have much, much more during the week, since we haven’t even heard from Kaye Grogan and Debbie Daniel yet. Stay tuned.