Shorter Ed Whelan
Posted on October 28th, 2008 by D. Aristophanes
- John McCain’s lack of support from voters in national polls strongly suggests that McCain enjoys more support than Barack Obama amongst voters nationally.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Update: No, seriously. That’s Whelan’s argument.
Who the hell are these people, and where do they get these shit-for-brains ideas?
“it would seem to follow that…”
Yes, that trips ’em up every time.
I read that twice and it made no sense. I need to put down the internet and pick up a book.
Of course, we won’t be laughing when McCain wins the presidency by minus-200 electoral votes!
A landslide victory for Obama on election day would be great news for John McCain.
Oh dear god
“in 1996, when there was an enthusiasm gap between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll for Oct. 27-28 gave Clinton a 16-point margin (51%-35%), and the final poll gave him a 13-point margin. Clinton’s actual margin of victory was only 8-1/2 points. So, especially given the much larger enthusiasm gap this year, perhaps there’s reason to hope that the polls contain an even larger overstatement of Barack Obama’s support—in which case John McCain may be ahead.”
Here he is saying that because there is an even bigger “enthusiasm gap” between Obama/McCain than there was between Clinton/Dole:
JOHN MCCAIN MAY ALREADY BE AHEAD!!!!111!!!
Woohoo!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
‘I don’t know sh*t about polls & survey techniques, but I’m fixin’ ta pull some sh*t outta my a** about some mystery population of McCain supporters who are both unenthusiastic yet under-rated in their likelihood to show up & support McCain. Something like that.’
Is there a population of McCain voters who are both unenthusiastic yet more likely to show up at to vote than polls are likely to capture? And how should our candidate play to his supporters who don’t like him very much? Should McCain try to push for more unenthusiasm, or has he already max’d out on that?
This is even dumber than when Hannity discovered the liberal pollster plot to survey more Democrats than Republicans …
Note to Whelan: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, etc.
<a href=Shorter Ed Whelan
A disgrace to Eds everwhere.
I’m curious about all the people who say they will definitely vote against McCain but who very well may turn out to be his most enthusiastic supporters and biggest donors.
I dunno, I guess pollsters seem to have something against people who say they can’t stand McCain but very well might end up selling their houses to give him money, because I don’t think that sort of thing would be captured well in polls, unless some magic person who possesses secret poll knowledge wishes to teach me all about social science and maybe statistics in general too ’cause I never tooken it.
My question is: Where did he get his hands on all those leaded paint chips he so obviously consumed?
“Should McCain try to push for more unenthusiasm, or has he already max’d out on that?”
Oh no, I have faith that the GOP has not even begun to deflate their base.
They gots skillzzz.
in 1996, when there was an enthusiasm gap between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll for Oct. 27-28 gave Clinton a 16-point margin (51%-35%), and the final poll gave him a 13-point margin.
Obama’s larger margins in current polls virtually guarantee he’ll lose by more than Clinton did!
Should McCain try to push for more unenthusiasm…?
Absolutely! Nothing turns ’em out to the polls like ennui.
Ed Whelan’s previous career on the Cartoon Network.
Ed, Edd, and Eddy
So… he’ll always have that to fall back on.
A disgrace to Eds everwhere.
Anyone who knows PDX sportscasters can tell you that he’s even a disgrace to Ed Whelans everywhere.
ttp://www.portlandtribune.com/sports/story.php?story_id=118850550315981000
And what about all the people who don’t vote? Can McCain use his unenthusiasm advantage to get more of the people who won’t vote to support him by not voting for him less strongly than the degree to which they’re not voting for Obama? Perhaps if McCain can get non-voters to definitely not vote for Obama more than they sort of don’t vote for McCain, I’m pretty confident that McCain can clean up among votes from those not voting, unless some rationality experts can correct me.
I’m laughing, but it’s an insane, hysterical, confused laugh.
Laugh your insane, hysterical, confused laughs now, LIE-brals. John McSame is on the road to certain victory because there’s a secret conspiracy of his legions of stealth supporters who are purposely misleading all those know-nothing pollsters in order to, well, something.
Sure thing, Ed. And if McCain had more money, the turnout at his rallies would reflect his true level of support. But since he doesn’t, it doesn’t. Silent majority whenever, wherever, forever!
In the republican playbook, unenthusiastic votes count for four enthusiastic ones. Except when it comes to St Ronnie. Then it’s reversed. Makes sense to me.
Ok, so I just didn’t vote for McCain. I guess now I’m supposed urge Obama to concede?
No to mention teh Troof/booger will be back here on November 5th to make fun of all of us. And that d00d’z never been wrong about anything (ashley todd), I mean anything.
It’s a well-known fact that Obama is ahead in the polls because pollsters have been oversampling Obama supporters!
The Corner: what results when you cross a sack of hammers with a bag of dicks.
That could also become a flag for the new, post-Republican party to rally around.
That gives me wicked Pink Floyd: The Wall flashbacks.
Oh noes, teh synchronicity.
You know, he’s got a point. A lot of the time I am not interested enough in something to talk to a person on the phone for five minutes but I will go out, wait in line a bit, and fill out a thing or whatever.
Maybe John McCain’s poll numbers are so dismal because a lot of McCain supporters are people who hate talking on the phone, or have difficulties with phones. They don’t get calls from John McCain either, I bet.
Operator, get me KLondike 5-6372.
Operator?
Hello?
HELLO OPERATOR?
“(Yes, yes, I admit that this is wishful thinking.)”
I like the impatient, aggrieved double-yes, as though “wishful thinking” is a standard tool in the pundit’s toolbox and it’s *your* shortcoming to make him acknowledge it.
I’m going to use this in contexts similar to that in which my elders and betters use “this is central to my point.” Two or three uses should get me my own nationally-acknowledged blog with a gang of commenters as great as
the one here. Yes, yes, I admit that this is wishful thinking.
Nailed it!
Maybe John McCain’s poll numbers are so dismal because a lot of McCain supporters are people who hate talking on the phone, or have difficulties with phones.
That’s because their phones are difficult to use – poor sound quality plus poor hearing = nachtmare.
Y’know, if John McCain had some ham, he could have ham and eggs, if he had some eggs.
WF
Y’know, if John McCain had some ham, he could have ham and eggs, if he had some eggs.
I don’t think I have ever heard this apparently ancient gag but I quite like it.
RealAmericans(R) are restrained in their emotions while Islahomoliberulcommiemarxists get excited over the least little thing. Therefore … Um … Hey, did Sarah Palin just wink at me?
tigrismus: That’s pretty disrespectful of elderly people. And besides, I’ll have you know that just the other day John McInsane got himself one of those new-fangled wireless thingamabob phones everyone’s goin’ on about these days.
In McCain’s world, computer are for calculating artillery ballistic tables.
In our world, computers are for watching videos of muppets doing gangsta rap.
That’s because their phones are difficult to use – poor sound quality plus poor hearing = nachtmare.
Phones used to be so bad that they featured in horror movies.
[…] S o-called ‘math’ […]
In our world, computers are for watching videos of muppets doing gangsta rap.
What? You write something like that, and don’t provide a link?