Oh, I can taste the schaudenfreude. Delicious!

Hey Ted, don’t sweat it.

Nobody serving out with you is gonna want ANYTHING to do with your wrinkled, leaky old ass.

‘Course, you do have some money so you’re going to be a target, but it’s liable to be a lot worse than just playin catcher for the home team…

mikey

hee hee

That just proves seven times over that he’s been cleared of the charges.

/Palin

For the last three years, Barack Obama has served with Ted Stevens in the Senate. Do we want to elect as President a man who pals around with convicted felons?

Damned liberal judicial activists.

What if he still gets re-elected?!

Oh god, more schaudenfreude? Please, I’m full. What? It’s wafer thin? …….

Surprising. Not the verdict, but how soon it came. I thought they were still bogged down in replacing that juror.

AP, ATF, skinheads, Obama, blacks, guns.

But is felonious fraud considered more of a truck, or more of a series of tubes?

Not so much a series of tubes, as a series of bars.

…is felonious fraud considered more of a truck, or more of a series of tubes?

Truck, I’d say, although in this case seven freight trains crashing into your car all at once is probably the best metaphor.

Not so much a series of tubes, as a series of bars.

LOLz!

So – that’s that for Sen. Intertubes. Is DeLay in prison yet?

2/3 vote of the Senate required to oust him if he still manages to get voted in. And given the Alaskan electorate, I’d not be terribly surprised.

whom among us does not have a $3k massage chair on loan from a friend for 8 years? Let him cast the first stone.

Good point, Kathleen. I still have the neighbour’s fish-smoker.

No prison time required by the sentencing laws, and he can stay in the senate. Woo! Accountability!

Good thing he wasn’t black, with a small amount of pot! Then he might actually have something to fear from the justice system!

This is good news for John McCain!

Woodrowfan:

No no no, this is excellent news! For Giuliani!

But a Halloween display features a hanging Palin! A Halloween display isn’t respectful or tasteful. Get over this Racist Plot/Stevens bullshit.

When Palin is arraigned for corruption, can we talk about a felony countess?

Couldn’t happen to a nicer fuckwad.

With any luck, he won’t get re-elected. I don’t suppose he’d be quite so effective a Senator after this, anyhow. Hopefully, that won’t be lost on Alaskans.

Also, someone needs to bring criminal charges against some of those religious figures up in Alaska.
[Insert “Felonious Monk” joke here]

The senator, who is seeking re-election Nov. 4, isn’t required by law to give up his Senate seat. He can only be removed by a full Senate vote on a recommendation by its ethics committee.

But if you steal from the till at McDonald’s, your ass is fired.

Oh Ted,
Poor Ted,
You’re going to jail
And your campaign’s dead.

I kid you not!

1 … 2… 3 … 4 … 5 … 5 Slaps! Ah ah ah ah.

don’t worry ted, a pardon is only a month or two away.

I think if he does get re-elected, kicking him out is going to be impossible. The GOP just won’t cooperate.

Somebody needs to remind Alaskans that Stevens is hardly going to be effective at grabbing earmarks now, and without that pork Alaska would sink.

When Palin is arraigned for corruption, can we talk about a felony countess?

I hope so. And her good friends in the Alaska GOP, who harbor absolutely no hard feelings against her whatsoever, will certainly work hard to help her earn the title of Lady Yardbird of Alaska..

Ah-hah-hah!

When Palin is arraigned for corruption, can we talk about a felony countess?
Sure, why not. Not the pun I had in mind, but sure, why not…

Now, the Republicans REALLY have us right where they want us! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!

without that pork Alaska would sink.

It’s not very polite to speak of Sarah Palin that way.

I love that pic.

gavin, you have won the intertubes.

shut ‘er down, boys, she’s done all she can do.

OMFG! I love this blog. 7 counts. Lol!

I think if he does get re-elected, kicking him out is going to be impossible. The GOP just won’t cooperate.

I tend to agree, but I think Stevens will step down once he’s re-elected so that he can play the “political persecution” card and save his party from having to vote against him.

Scenario: Stevens and Palin share prison cell at Leavenworth.

Question: Who is the prison bitch?

I tend to agree, but I think Stevens will step down once he’s re-elected…

Could be. Also, at his age, he can only serve 7 or 8 more Senate terms if he wants to retire before the Thurmond Limit.

I kind of expect an awful lot of ballots cast in Alaska to be filled in with a vote for Palin, but no mark made for the senate seat..

but I think Stevens will step down once he’s re-elected

If this were to happen, guess who would name his replacement in the Senate.

Someone at Swampland raised this possibility: the GOP might dump Stevens if he survives, if Mooselini were to appoint herself as replacement.

If this were to happen, guess who would name his replacement in the Senate.

Which only means things are going to get even better down the line.

Bob Owens has an email updater set up so that he’ll be one of the first to hear when federal authorities put up for auction Stevens’ Viking gas grill.

Scenario: Stevens and Palin share prison cell at Leavenworth.
Question: Who is the prison bitch?

I’m sure it won’t be Sara. She strikes me as a top.

If he steps down or is kicked out of the Senate by a 2/3 majority vote, Alaska law dictates that there would have to be a special election.

That’s GUILTY! GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!

Thanks for the info, David Robinson. According to the Anchorage Daily News, that provision was put in after Alaskans was subjected to an act of nepotism that was too much even for them.

If Stevens is re-elected after a conviction but then resigns from the Senate or is expelled, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin would be required to call a special election.

That’s a relatively new provision in state law, driven when former U.S. Sen. Frank Murkowski won the gubernatorial race in 2002 and then appointed his daughter, Lisa Murkowski, to his seat.

Alaska residents were upset with what they saw as nepotism. A voter initiative ended gubernatorial appointments to vacancies in 2004, the same year Murkowski successfully won her first full term in the Senate by defeating former Gov. Tony Knowles.

Anchorage Daily News (9/1/08).

…that provision was put in after Alaskans was subjected to an act of nepotism that was too much even for them.

Then it is teh awesome that it would stop Palin from appointing one of her high school buddies. Hee hee hee!

I kind of wish that Goober would comment more on gubernatorial politics; it would be like a Harmonic Convergence.
“Gubernaculum” is my favourite anatomical term evah.

“Gubernaculum” is my favourite anatomical term evah.

Wow, cool! I had never heard that word before, nor the even more teh awesum phrase gubernaculum degenerates.

If I were to guess what it was before I looked it up, I’d have thought gubernaculum would be that dried crust that forms overnight in your nose when you have hay fever.

You raaaaaaang?

Best graphic and caption ever.

from Wingnut site Polipundit:

15:

Exactly. GOP voters were stupied to renoinate him. He will lose to Begich-D next week. Good riddance to Sen. Birdge-to-Nowhere!

Comment by OH Conservative | 10/27/2008 – 6:36 pm

Btw, how soon before Republicans proportionally outnumber others in the US prison population, and will it need to build a special wing to house them all?

OMG Lesley wants to round up Republicans and place them all in re-education camps! More proof of S,N! hate-crime!

I imagine the Senate Ethics committee will have something to say; and Stevens (should!) lose all committee assignments.

But, wow, if Steven survives the election, at least until January the Senate will have:

Stevens convicted felon
Vitter guilty of sex crimes, unindicted, off on technicality
Craig guilty of sex crimes, convicted

That’s like a little “criminal caucus” or something. Well, okay, the entire GOP is a criminal caucus, but this is *blatant*

OMG Lesley wants to round up Republicans and place them all in re-education camps!

Don’t forget the forced dashiki-wearing.

60 seats in the Senate here we come!

Is it possible to keep a senate seat while in prison? don’t they have a jail cell at the capitol, and can they keep him there during the week? That would be excellent news for Giuliani indeed.

Btw, how soon before Republicans proportionally outnumber others in the US prison population, and will it need to build a special wing to house them all?

Are we still using that little prison complex down by Cuba?

You better believe that Stevens, Vitter and Craig will sponsor some “Ethics and Family Values” bill. And then we will have an awesome S,N! post. I look forward to the day.

Well, I’m the King of Eight
And I’m here to state
That my favorite number
Is the num —

Wait, how many counts?

More proof of S,N! hate-crime!

Hmmmm…. I had been thinking of voting for Obama, but now that I’ve seen the cesspool of hate that is the Left, I’m reconsidering.

Oh, damn. I already voted for him! Curse you, early voting!

Bela, how many Tors?!

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
It suddenly occurs to me how much more productive Clark Ashton Smith would have been, if he had had access to JanusNode to generate the names of his deities.

Scenario: Stevens and Palin share prison cell at Leavenworth.
Question: Who is the prison bitch?

They would be housed in separate facilities, as males and females don’t share cells.

Is it really WordPress after all this time that sucks canal water, or is it the Sadlies themselves who just suck at WordPress.

Ace of Spades doesn’t seem to have these problems.

Just Sayin…

mikey

OMG Lesley wants to round up Republicans and place them all in re-education camps! More proof of S,N! hate-crime!

No fair, Smut Clyde.

A re-education camp is an entirely different kettle of fish to
1) being charged with a crime under US law
2) being convicted of said crime at a fair trial (at which your highly paid big falutin’ lawyer defended you)
3) being sentenced for punishment in a US prison

Although I can see how the wingnuts will call the trial unfair, the charges bogus, and the facility a re-education camp. Cuz there’s one law for you and me and another for Republicans.

Oh man, I so LOLed IRL at the counts.

After hearing the news, Governor Palin retired to her Gubernaculum, explaining that she required a period of solitary contemplation to consider her next step.

And what timing! I’m sure the wingnuts are upset that the story has knocked their latest Devastating! Knockout! Bombshell! (“Breaking! AAR-OOOH AAR-OOOH! Must credit stupidity!”) of a nearly ten year-old geeky Obama NPR interview with the word “re-distribute” in it.

A word to the Christopaths: you’re right, your failure IS THE WORK OF SATAN!!! BWAAAHAHAHAH! Better go pray some more.

Best graphic and caption ever.

I didn’t think the Rachael Ray-Nuke/Spice Blow was toppable. I stand corrected.

This one had me cackling with the twitching tard-claws, so I looked like some sort of meth-addled praying mantis.

1-2-3-4-5-6-SEVEN!

Seven, seven, seven, seven, let’s sing a song about seven.

How many is seven?

One! – 1 felony count.

Two! – 2 felony counts.

Three! – 3 felony counts.

Four! – 4 felony counts.

Five! – 5 felony counts.

Six! – 6 felony counts.

Seven! – 7 felony counts!

I LOVE to count!

They would be housed in separate facilities, as males and females don’t share cells.

Well, duh, MzNicky. It’s an entirely fictional scenario. Lighten up and enjoy the schadenfreude a little.

Teh Count r0xx0rs my world!

The GOP & felony convictions – joined at the hip.

Short yet sweet – & even sweeter, I hear this goombah STILL intends to run, felonies & all. At this point he Democrats could run a sedated chinchilla against him & win from the sound of it. Whoever’s writing the campaign ads for his opponent is making some hella easy green.

“Hmm, do we go with that clanky old quote about the “series of tubes” gaffe, or do we go with the convictions on those 7 felony counts? Decisions, decisions.”