So I decided to nerd out last night and watch The Empire Strikes Back (I needed a Star Wars fix and I didn’t feel like putting on my Jawa suit and waiting in line for five hours).

But while I was watching, I noticed that Yoda’s syntax is eerily similar to Pastor Swank’s.

Yoda to Pastor Swank: “Incomprehensible I find you.”

Just for kicks, let’s hear what Yoda and Pastor Swank have to say about:

1.) “The Dark Side”

Yoda: “Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.”

Pastor Swank: “Allah is Lucifer. The Koran is demented revelation from demons. Mosques are meeting places for demonic preaching and activity. Clerics are agents from The Pit.”

2.) On fighting “The Dark Side”:

Yoda: “Stopped they must be; on this all depends. Only a fully-trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor.”

Pastor Swank: “Every nation, other than the Muslim countries, is under fire from the Islamics. Every nation, none excluded. Therefore, it’s past time for the world community, excluding of course the killing Muslim nations, to put to flight this global cult intent on doing us all in.”

3.) On the power of positive thinking:

Yoda: “(M)y ally in the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock… everywhere!”

Pastor Swank: “Being the idealistic type since birth, I saw more glasses half full than half empty. That’s just the way I’m made. But sometimes that kind of mindset can get a person of such bright spots into a bit of trouble. It’s not major trouble for there is still a prime realistic side to one side of my brain. That usually rescues me from the stars aglow dump down.”

4.) On anger management:

Yoda: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Pastor Swank: “Those who are mired in that which is sinful just don’t have the spiritual wherewithal to come upon the eternal verities; therefore, they are the ones who lash out unreasonably, spewing venom and shows of unmannerly display. They are the ones cursing and fuming, ranting and parading unseemly.”

Uncanny, no?