Shorter Jonah Goldberg

“People should stop worrying about the Christian Right because of something I saw on last week’s Law and Order.”

(No, seriously, that’s the gist of his column.)


Comments: 15


But that’s how the “paranoid style” works: Abstract or distant offenses are seen as personal threats. And the megalomania of the paranoiacs cannot process the possibility that important things might be happening that do not affect them…

Is it just me, or did he just sum up the first half of Fahrenheit 9/11?


Is it just me, or did he just sum up the first half of Fahrenheit 9/11?

How so? (I should point out that I’m not a big Michael Moore fan- I liked ROGER & ME and TV NATION, but around BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE, he got way too preachy and self-important… and yes, F-9/11 is totally riddled with silly BS in the first half that undermines what should be a very solid case against the Iraq war).


The pantload wrote a column about the tv show he was watching.

Great work if you can get it.



It’s just you. You’re paranoid.


I should point out that Christian conservatives have never done anything like this.

More than you think, Jonah.

Read about the trial of Robert and Brenda Matthey for the murder of their adopted Russian son Viktor in Hunterdon County, NJ (not too far from NYC, Jonah, although it’s still quite rural). It’s not in the linked articles, alas, but their church totally backed them up to the point that the judge criticized them at their sentencing (they were convicted of the lesser charge of child abuse; the jury deadlocked on the homicide charges and the county prosecutor’s office has not, apparently, decided whether to retry yet) and was in turn criticized by the church.


Dammit! I thought it was the Christians who were paranoid about being persecuted by the secularists. I’m so confused. Can i keep my Darwin fish or not?


Jonah Goldberg writes:


I can take the somber, frightened “special reports” on National Public Radio, where you can literally hear the correspondents wringing their hands over the possibility that the “Darwin fish” affixed to their Volvos will be banned.


The whole basis of Jonah Goldberg’s essay is that a report on NPR supposedly said something wrong.

But Jonah Goldberg provides no direct quotes.

Jonah Goldberg provides no air dates.

Jonah Goldberg provides no NPR coreespondent’s names.

This is slimy.

Jonah Goldberg’s essay does not deserve to be printed.


Two more things that Jonah farked up:

1) Jonah described GW’s response to Karla Faye Tucker’s death sentence appeal but conveniently omitted Bush’s mocking “Don’t kill me” from the Talk Magazine interview.

2) He refers to the Tawana Brawley case as a “real crime”. Maybe from the standpoint that it was a hoax but it was not a real assault on Brawley. From the context (Bernie Goetz, Central Park “wilding” victim) it’s clear that Jonah’s got his head up his ass on that one.


First the Hooter-apostrophe-s Gals, now: “you can literally hear the correspondents wringing their hands”. What a writer.

“I grew up in New York City, I know New York City, and I have this to tell my fellow New Yorkers: You are perfectly safe from the Christians hordes.”
Wait, so this applies only to New York? NPR must only be broadcast there. This article doesn’t hold together. Like, literally.

I’m from Kansas and I’ve seen Phelps in action, so I have this to tell ya, pantload: you gotta keep the nutjobs down. And no thanks for this article which amounts to “go back to sleep, the fundies aren’t after you… yet…”


It’s just you. You’re paranoid.
Well, I knew that-
I was referring primarily to the stuff about the Patriot Act and the mindset behind it- (haven’t seen it in a while- Moore, while very good at what he does, is also too preachy for my taste so it may be the middle portion that I’m thinking of).


Reminds me of this line from a recent Letter to the Editor:
“Mr. Essex can always move. But Christianity will find him. We have missionaries.”
Profoundly chilling. This is what people should be concerned about. Jokers like this are being elected to office and they really think this way.


Hey, don’t knock the truths that can be gleaned from Law and Order. That show got me a B+ in my criminal procedure class in law school (and it was a good law school, or at least it was before they accepted me).


Jonah “writes”:
Pharmacies in New York and L.A. are still filling prescriptions for the “morning after” pill…
Talk about parochial! I live in Wisconsin (a blue state, if just barely) — the urban part, not the rural — and not only is there a lawsuit pending over a pharmacist who wouldn’t fill a prescription for emergency contraception, we had a pharmacist disciplined for refusing either to fill a prescription for the Pill or to transfer the prescription to another pharmacy. I’m sure there’ve been more cases that haven’t been reported.
Oh, the Christian Soldiers are coming, all right.


Why do ya think Chimpy couldn’t name a single mistake he has ever made when asked?

Because once he got Born Again, he was completely forgiven for all of them by Jeebus, so it’s just exactly like they never happened!

See how easy that is?

Hysterical Woman

If Law and Order says “it’s ripped from the headlines” and does a show that doesn’t seem to be “ripped from the headlines”, therefore there is no Christian right. Thank you, Jonah!


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