There Is Infinite Dope, But Not For Us1
Ace thinks he’s discovered “the biggest political conspiracy since Watergate,” and works himself up into an epic spaz (“Draw up the impeachment papers. If Obama wins, we should be ready”) — demanding answers, by God, answers, to such questions as:
Where.
Is.
The Fucking.
Cocksucking.
Media.
And:
The hell with the media — Where is the fucking Attorney General?
And then he…
Okay wait. It’s like, you know, I used to imagine that making fun of these people was a constructive act, in a way — that it would influence them toward kind of a banal crisis of self-reflection in which, at least briefly, they’d be able to see themselves as a reasonable Other would see them, and maybe be forced to think about the limits of the received wingnut worldview, and the pitfalls of ideology, and so forth and all that sort of thing. Then I guess I grew up a little and realized that I was just making excuses for making fun of people all the time. That it was really all about my own deficiencies, about pointing out faults in others as a way of working out issues that I was unwilling to explore in myself, or sometimes even to name.
Then I guess I grew up more, because I stopped worrying about why-this and why-that, and began to pay greater attention to the how and what of things, amidst this grand and unencompassable opera, for lack of a more ready metaphor, that we call life. Specifically, how shall I make fun of Ace so that he looks really ding-honk stupid, and what shall be my specific conceit toward this end? Technique, in other words. Architectonics. Ace is, therefore he will be made fun of, on the Internet, by me.
That’s really an ontological statement, yet one which negates ontology, if you see what I mean. I imagine that it’s what Aleister Crowley was getting at with the phrase, “the fall of Because,” and what mystics of related traditions refer to as “crossing the Abyss.” First there is no joke about Ace masturbating glumly to bodybuilding magazines, and then there does exist a joke about Ace masturbating glumly to bodybuilding magazines. Forget about ‘why’ for a moment: How is something created out of nothing? How do you, as it were, get from one side of the Abyss to the other? I imagine it as what they call the demiurge, which in itself obviates the question of ‘why,’ if you follow how that goes. And so on through the topic, etc.
But what I’m getting at is, okay, what’s actually happening here — or, if you would, what a reasonable Other can be imagined as perceiving — is that we have to come up with something new and clever each time Ace runs through the room burping the alphabet, while all Ace has to do to keep up his end is to intake sufficient calories to sustain motor function, and to pop a vitamin now and then to stave off rickets and/or scurvy.
He could, for instance, type OMABA POOPY and send it blazing through the Internet, via the energy expenditure of one poking index finger, and that’s, you know, just Ace being Ace again, like usual. He could type nothing, and you’d still know — you would know — that he’s out there somewhere thinking something nutrageously bonky that he might as well have typed up and put online, for all the difference between his public utterances (“Heh heh, I have just cracked the secret that will bring down the Obama presidency”) and what other people would call daydreaming and wishful thinking (“Heh heh, I’m a secret agent with a watch that can stop time”). Ace doesn’t have to do, it is only necessary that he exist.
By which I mean, I guess I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet, but I picked up a paperback copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and after that, it’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull and I guess that Herman Hesse book. I’m just, like, looking for clues.
1 Cf.
Herman Hesse – loved him as “Dr. Johnny Fever.”
Look very very hard at the jacket sleeve of ABBEY ROAD — I am sure you will find him hiding there somewhere.
In a sense, in fact, Ace is everywhere.
Pirsig’s not bad. Lila is kind of boring, but Zen and MM kicks ass.
Put down the David Foster Wallace book, step back slowly, and there won’t be any trouble.
Isn’t Ace making a “You left your door open so I came in and raped your daughter so it’s all your fault” complaint? Or did I miss something here.
How do you, as it were, get from one side of the Abyss to the other?
Ex nihilo, Magilla Gorilla fit.
noen,
I was sort of wondering earlier, having come across this phenomenon in my wanderings, aren’t these people actually committing a crime by fraudulently representing themselves to the campaign? Can they be prosecuted for this?
I mean—Where is the fucking Attorney General?
Alls I know is that it’s going to be really funny when these idiots get busted for their admitted credit card fraud.
Isn’t Ace making a “You left your door open so I came in and raped your daughter so it’s all your fault” complaint? Or did I miss something here.
No, he’s actually trying to make a point, that you can get around the campaign donation limit by simply donating under “Mickey Mouse” or “Duran Duran”. I guess it makes sense that the Obama campaign ought to protect themselves from people trying to subvert the campaign financing laws – but it really does seem like this is a really bad way of doing it. All of the donations go into the big book, and max donations from “Heywood Jablome” would probably attract a lot of attention.
But while we’re on the topic of campaign financing laws, how about personal use of campaign funds?
Also, but off topic, it would seem that mikey’s all purpose appropriate argument has gained popularity overseas.
Buttocks.
Wait no, it’s better than credit card fraud, because they’re giving fraudulent information to make a political donation. Doesn’t that violate federal election law?
And there is an awful lot of cocksucking going on in Ace’s comments, I’m just sayin’.
Is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?
Careful with Zen. It’s a great and moving read, but Pirsig doesn’t know a goddamn thing about Plato and Socrates.
I think someone should troll…er “post” over there that the address validation only occurs on larger donations. Say, $5,000 or more.
Then get them to try and “prove” the contrary.
Mobama, mo’ money.
Or Kant, Hegel, science, Zen…he does know which side of a motorcycle is down, though.
And he knows how to write softcore porn, or at least that’s all i remember of Lila.
Andre,
You make a great point. Does Obama’s system catch people trying to donate over the maximum allowed? I’m sure Ace has $2400 lying around to figure this out with.
Dude. You’ve made the classic liberal mistake of assuming that Ace and his good friends perceive themselves as connected, however tenuously, with modern concensus reality. The hardcore No-Obama-No-Way bloggers, aka Teh Brazen Horde, have severed their allegiances to such late-model progressive inventions as ‘constitutionality’ or ‘populism’ or ‘rule of law’. It is no longer enough for them to establish that Obama, if elected, would be a bad president, or even an illegitimate president: under the teachings of their tribe, a President Obama would represent a subversion of the natural order, an offense against the Angry Father-God, the triumph of Chaos over Order. It is not enough, for Ace, that Obama be rejected at the polls — his very name must be chiseled off the monuments bearing the List of
KingsPresidents, and all records of his existence obliterated from the tales of the bards. And the fact that 94% of the people Ace explains this to fail to grasp the importance!!!eleventy-one! of purging the very notion of Obama, the Spectre of Moderation & Reality-Based Thinking made flesh, from the records of Heartland RealAmerica(tm) is driving him and his fellow believers ever further into a spiral of self-referential paranoia.You know the old maxim about how it’s comedy when someone else slips on a banana peel, but tragedy when they sustain permanent brain damage as a result of such a slip? Well, Ace has been aggressively seeking out banana-related occupational accidents for a number of years now…
If I can paraphrase the 2000 year old man, the old maxim is that comedy was when you fall down a manhole and die, and tragedy is when I cut my finger.
It’s a shame they aren’t donating to McPalin instead. I’m sure the Moose-Stepping Maven and her family could use some more clothes right now.
A question (from someone who only uses a CC in emergencies): Isn’t there a chance the cards will be frozen when the banks’ systems spot the name/card mismatch?
”Draw up the impeachment papers. If Obama wins, we should be ready”
But Obama’s a nice guy, a real peach.
IMPEACH THE PEACH!
I tried to use one of those address-finders to register for a freebie… They’d accept some addresses but totally failed for my home town.
I guess they only wanted, you know, rich suburbanites to access. Poor country or apartment folk need not apply.
OBAMA POOPY
Seems to me that this open advocacy of donating under fraudulent names undercuts any chance the actual campaign has of using “bad donors” as a campaign issue. To wit:
McCain spokesman: “We see that Obama has received money from Hamas as recently as last week!”
Obama: “Well, right wing bloggers have been openly advocating using fraudulent names as a dirty trick, so you can’t go by that!”
Check and mate.
Here’s a blingee for booger
~
Youtube channel comment gold:
mynie (10 hours ago) As someone who has actually been branded by an enraged negro, I’d like to say that your little stunt has cheapened my suffering.
~
I’ve been thinking about this as well, lately. Much of it has to do with sheer laziness on my part. I need to overcome it.
So I just finished reading Bobo Wen’s linked NYTimes article and I have to say that this out rage is FUCKING BULLSHIT. Quelle grande surprise!
It lists Obama’s total haul at $450 million, so we’re talking about something like 0.0698% of total Obama donations. Which is of course, piddling peanuts. c.f. McCain’s $173 K on $200 million = 0.0865%!!! OMG! JiSM3’s taking fradulent monies!!!! Also, with public campaign financing, this gets matched dollar for follar so it becomes $346 K or $32,000 more than Obama’s getting. And it’s not like McCain doesn’t already have a history of playing fast and loose with his own campaign finance law.
If the FEC can prove fraud, they should do so and punish those responsible – but holy figging fuck, we’re talking about vanishingly small dollar totals when compared to what either campaign has reeled in.
Oh my god, Thunder. Sheer awesomeness.
It is not enough, for Ace, that Obama be rejected at the polls — his very name must be chiseled off the monuments bearing the List of Kings Presidents, and all records of his existence obliterated from the tales of the bards.
Pretty much, though you left out the part about salting the ground where they were born.
I’m seeing such absolute hysteria from the Right over Obama – this goes ‘way beyond the standard “He’s a liberal who wants to rasie your taxes” stuff we got before. That’s why I’m really worried – you don’t stir up shit like this, this intensely, without someone acting on it.
I have maintained that making fun of reactionary dumbshits who happen to have a blog, popular or not, is not a constructive act, unless constructive is defined as the needless traffic generation to the VERY SITES YOU CLAIM TO DISDAIN. I’m all for deluging the LA Times/NY Times with foul-mouthed e-mails whenever Goldberg/Kristol vomits something stupid on their editorial pages, but obsessively cataloging the mistakes and personality disorders of these online reactionary idiots is a dead-end.
In short, one-quarter to one-third of the American public is irretrievably, politically insane and/or stupid. We cannot control that, as Free Republic’s traffic, Rush Limbaugh’s listenership, or Fox News’ viewership will attest. You just have to mentally quarantine them and take appropriate action when quarantine is broken [i.e. something stupid generated by Michelle Malkin suddenly appears as a talking point on a CNN show].
The fact is, I miss the days when Ace would be mocked, and he’s show up in the comments here frothing at the mouth.
ittdgy,
The latest…
In other news, it looks like we’re in for a real doozy of a 79th anniversary of the Crash of ’29. World markets are down ~10% everywhere. Heeeeere it comes.
“the biggest political conspiracy since Watergate”
So previous to this, when it came to “cocksucking” it was the republican who were the historical leaders. Just checking.
And I agree for Norb especially on the links. I hate having to click the fucking link, add to some scumbags traffic to see what’s up.
Sorry.
re: Ashley Todd
What evidence from the ATM could be contradicting her statements? From justme’s link:
And much more interestingly, from The Young Turks – SLAYER! (..insert devil horn salute here.)
”Draw up the impeachment papers. If Obama wins, we should be ready”
Ready for what? For the Democratic committee chairman to blow his nose (or perform some other act of personal hygiene) with them?
Dumbasses.
Did somebody say “SATAN?”
~
Gavin,
Didn’t your mom tell you not to mix Walter Benjamin with Richard Bach?
Stop now, before you find yourself enrolling in an EST seminar!
So, when challenged by David Shuster of MSNBC about Palin’s wardrobe expenditures, Brad Blakeman of Freedom’s Watch said the “bigger outrage” was Obama taking his “767 campaign plane to go see Grandma.”
I really have no idea how The Onion and The Daily Show stay in business against this kind of competition.
93
A most excellent post. A Liber Al reference in a post-structuralist critique of the right wing, and funny the whole time—you have surely studied long upon the mysteries of Atus I and II.
🙂
93/93
I thought they’d wait until January 21, or the afternoon of January 20 at least, to be calling for impeachment but the election’s not even over yet.
The Jerk mentioned McArdle in >another thread but I’m going to get my Megan bashing done here.
That was posted yesterday afternoon, which incidentally was the same day that Alan Greenspan appeared before Congress and had the following exchange:
I dunno, Gavin, I’ve always assumed that you make fun of Ace et al for the same reason people climb Mt. Everest….because it’s there.
You might want to add Goya to your reading list. You know, “the sleep of reason begets monsters” and all of that.
My favorite was the article on the side that said “How Joe the Plumber could cost Obama the election.”
Does ANYBODY take seriously that pandering attempt at populism except the 20% or so that are totally far gone? It was a goofy stunt where a cartoon character version of a “regular guy” asked Barry a bad faith question, and was given a reasonable answer by the unflappable, always cool Barry O.
The Joe the Plumber stunt has been part of the McCain campaign: shout SOCIALISM!!!!!! at the top of your lungs. That’s how this campaign runs: smear insinuations of Islam, blackness, misogyny.
“Joe the Plumber costs Obama the election” has the desperate reek of wish-fulfillment. Hey, I’ve got a headline for you: “Julian Perez’s glasses and short stature could cost Brad Pitt his girlfriend?”
It’s interesting to see this kind of geologic shift happen. This goofy stunt would have killed Kerry.
It’s an important concept, and one that even experienced riders sometimes have difficulty actualizing.
I’d suggest Jitterbug Perfume, though you may get as much benefit by taking the Dr. Missus out dancing on a regular basis(or verse visa). Perhaps more.
Joe the Plumber, meet Roger the Shrubber.
Special added bonus: Roger, unlike Joe, has a coherent economic message:
“There is a pestilence upon this land; nothing is sacred. Even those who design and arrange shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.”
… that it would influence them toward kind of a banal crisis of self-reflection …
Existential void where prohibited.
Obama’s campaign remoed security barriers that protect Americans from fraud, and that make the job of their campaign to filter out illegal donations easier. Why? Either because they want to accept illegal contributions, or because they’re stupid.
Face it, most of the Obama fundraising apparatus is going to jail pretty soon. They’ve committed a laundry list of crimes.
How much of that $150M was illegal? We may never know. But the first privately funded campaign since the 1972 Nixon campaign is proving itself to be more criminal than the Nixon campaign, with Obama supporters committing fraud, and viciously attacking and branding McCain supporters with knifes.
The fact is that Obama’s attempted caliphate is built on crime, corruption, and lies.
That might be the Chicago Way, but it’s not the American Way.
For me, the most striking part of Zen comes at the end, when his son stands up on the pegs, and comments on the spectacular view.
That’s when the author finally realizes that the boy has only been able to see his (author’s) back.
All that pedagogical bullshit, however entertaining or enlightening, and he was clueless (or uninterested) about the person, his son, who was directly behind, and in a sense depending on, him for all those miles.
As for your meta, I also tried to confront my reasons for ridiculing these wingnuts, and could not come to an answer. I told myself I was gonna stop ridiculing them, but just can’t.
All of this just goes to illustrate, though, that these stupid fucks are just gonna turn up the volume, starting November 5th.
The good news? My money says Barack Obama is not Bill Clinton, and that the great unwashed will be much more concerned about more important, and immediate, things than the wingnuts’ fake outrage du jour.
Gavin — ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.
Ace is a dick. He’s a public dick, and he swims in a pond of public dicks of varying sizes, from Limbaugh and Drudge and Pantload to Cornfed Yankee and the commenters at redstate.
Ace’s interjecting himself into the consciousness of the planet via the Intertubes is exactly like some drunken frat types crashing a party, groping women, starting fights, and barfing on the wall-to-wall carpeting… leaving behind a smell you’ll spend huge amounts of money and time trying to get rid of: That’s Ace.
As a thinking being, it’s natural for you to consider and question the philsophic underpinnings of your feelings regarding Ace and his published spewings. It’s reasonable to contrast and compare your own interior journey against the hard-won wisdom of the major intellects of human civilization.
I encourage this effort. When you’re done, Ace will still be a dick, his ‘arguments’ will still smell like used diapers left in a hot car trunk, and you can feel free to ridicule him until he ‘splodes.
Then I guess I grew up more, because I stopped worrying about why-this and why-that…
Plus, Ace answered it for you.
Shut up, that’s why.
I tend to see the likes of Ace as the speck of grit in the oyster shell that gives rise to the lustrous pearl of snark, as it were.
I dunno about all that philosophy stuff in Pirsig’s book, but it did encourage me to do field maintenance on the Batcycle by myself. Turns out that I had most of the necessary tools in the utility belt already! How ’bout that.
By which I mean, I guess I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet, but I picked up a paperback copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and after that, it’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull and I guess that Herman Hesse book. I’m just, like, looking for clues.
I suggest work on a Wingnuts Arcades Project. You may live in poverty and misery, but future generations of wingnut watchers will love you and cite you.
Pretty much, though you left out the part about salting the ground where they were born.
Ace’ll get to that as soon as Obama hands over the birth certificate. Until then, no two wingnuts can agree on where Obama was born.
“One day Gregor awoke to find himself a wingn–” /throws down pen, lights paper, then self on fire
Your post did not mention what it was that had Ace’s panties in a twist. I wanted to know, so I clicked on his link. I really dislike giving people like Ace or Malkin any traffic, but I was so curious as to what this was all about.
Ace claims McCain (and Clinton) follow the law, but Ace doesn’t mention when McCain went to other nations to solicit money directly from foreign nationals.
Another thing I didn’t see Ace mention was that their flock of Kerners that are ‘testing’ the Obama donation system (giving money to Obama in the process) are all doing this from US-based IP addresses. So while they might gleefully enter their info as ‘Adolph Hitler’, their IP address is registering as a US location.
The other thing I find revealing is that they all act as if Obama is personally programming the donations webpage, and not some low-level functionary.
The view from his mom’s basement is dismal, I’m sure.
Lemme get this straight: some numbnuts phonies up a name, submits an on-line contribution under said phony name, has it accepted, and claims it’s fraud?
It is. BY THE DONOR!
No one, not even the FEC regulators, expect the campaign to vet each and every five dollar contribution, and besides, he had to either make it from a legitimate credit card, or bank account, at which point the auditors would find the error and send him a l’il ole form letter to fill out the correct information or have his contribution returned!
Sheesh! I mean, it might be nice if, you know, these folks brushed up a little on the law and policy manuals before crying “The sky is falling!”…
So… if Ace did not exist… then we would have to create him… so we can destroy him?
Sounds more like Nietzsche ….. or maybe just Jonah…. you LIBERAL FASCIST!!
heh, heheh heh
2008 GOP = Sideshow Bob stepping on a series of rakes
When I think of all the lame attempts the McCain campaign has made to get back in this race, and the myriad ways in which they’ve failed, it just brings such joy to my heart. This must be one frustrating time to be a wingnut.
Failed McCain strategies:
-“Celebrity” attacks
-Sarah Palin as VP
-ACORN smear
-Ayers smear
-Suspended campaign stunt
-Joe The Plumber
-“Obama is a socialist”
-“Real America”
-Today’s new outrage, “Fake Donation-gate”
They’ve tried everything, and none of it is working. But the beautiful part is that every time McCain tries one of these “game changers,” the wingnuts get all excited and really believe that Maverick and Mooseburgers are on the verge of turning the race around. It’s been a thrill to watch them get disappointed over and over again.
This election is my BFF.
This is the greatest post in the history of Sadly No. It encompasses all previous, and indeed, all future posts in its greatness. I declare my fealty to Gavin M and my willingness to die at his command, or even at the passing fancy that he may have considered commanding it.
Dear Thunder, thanks for the Lucifer link. My opinin of Alinsky just went up further, now I realize he had
a senzayumaintellectual honesty.JK47: This week I’ve received three mailers from the GOP of Florida. One promotes McCain as Super Friend of Israel (I get these hawkish appeals from the FL GOP every election regardless of who’s the candidate). Another insists Obama is soft on crime and coddles criminals. The third pushes Obama’s ties with Rezko. I bet next week they’ll send me something about Rev. Wright.
There’s no message discipline or consistency and hence little impact.
And from the DKW linky, McC orating:
So the poor woman has a income gap of over $1000 a month! More than that, since there has been 15 years of inflation since the old feller spoke. No wonder she needs to rip off the RNC. And the state of Alaska, though evil gremlins seem to be eating that link (kiddie reimbursements).
Oh, wait, hubby gets paid too … Not much though. Given their gross ($166,080) and her gross, his seems to be $41,000. Hey, they might get a tax cut from the Big O. Poor babies.
You know how sex offenders have to go into this registry after they’re released, so that everyone can know where they live?
It’d be cool if there was one of those for bloggers. Especially for when they’re convicted of, oh I don’t know, conspiracy to commit donor fraud or something.
They are still pursuing the birth certificate thing on this extremely weird Wingnut site called Polipundit. This comment is from today:
26.
“Jan, I’ve been following Obama’s birth certificate controversy for a while. At first I was inclined to dismiss it, but the longer it lingers, the more I wonder. The biggest question is why doesn’t Obama just have Hawaiian records bring out the original (if said original is there) and have it publicly examined? This would end it.
I saw this referenced yesterday by Rush and by Andy McCarthy at NRO. This does have legs.”
http://polipundit.com/wp-comments-popup.php?p=20333&c=1#comments
(To be fair the most of the commenters gave up on Bush because of the Harriet Miers nomination and they hate McCain.)
So, has Ace tried smashing his eye into a doorknob yet?
I’m kind of surprised he doesn’t do it by accident all the time. Those hockey helmets must really work!
You. Are. Shitting. Me.
You’re not really facing an existential crisis about what you do here, are you? God, I can’t believe I’m even contemplating the possibility with any degree of seriousness.
Of course, you’re joking. There’s no way you could possibly be seriously in the funk you describe. It’s more subtle satire. Right?
(On the off chance you really are having a moment in chapel perilous… dude, go read Trotsky And The Wild Orchids, have a bong hit or two, mellow out for a bit, then come back and keep it up. mocking these idiots is the closest thing to a categorical imperative you may ever find. Just fucking do it already.)
Well I guess we now KNOW where all the fraudulent registrations are coming from as well.
It makes sense. Anybody willing to make donations under false names is more than capable of filing fake registrations.
Thanks for the proof Ace. We now KNOW who is responsible for them.
Notably, all of the failed McLame tactics have blown up in his face because everything of which they’ve accused Obama has been thrown back in their faces 10 fold. It’s the stupidest campaign ever.
Obama is “old” Warshington. Oh yeah, McCain’s been there for 26 yeras.
Obama took money from Fanny and Freddie. Oh yeah, the fellas running your fucking campaign lobbied for and took money from the same, until August of this year!
Socialist. Really? You called the Bush tax cuts irresponsible and voted against them.
Stupid. It’s like they are totally unaware that people can very easily chech shit out on their own.
Ayers. Oh yeah, Liddy and the Keating 5.
Celebrity. Oh yeah, $150k shopping spree in Manhattan.
Ah, Siddhartha. I took things kinda backwards in my life. I started out as ascetic, then became a hedonist, then became a well-adjusted enlightened member of….
Aw hell, who I am kidding? I’m still working out the hedonist phase.
This is unrelated to Ace The Nutjob’s blog.
But it IS related to Obama donations.
A couple of days after I made a credit card donation to Obama, my card number got hacked and several thousands in bogus charges were run up all over the coutnry. Right now the card company is supposed to be taking all of these off my bill.
I wonder if some republican or other criminal is hacking the Obama donation data stream?
Has anybody else had this happen?
The fact is, what is with the URLs at America’s Shittiest Website? They seem to go
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post?=BLAAAaaaaarrrllllrrragaggchunksaarrllghpieceoflettucechunkaarlgh=
Pirsig doesn’t know a goddamn thing about Plato and Socrates.
Oh? He correctly identified Socrates as a horses-ass, and Plato as a sycophant. I’m not seeing the problem.
Police: McCain volunteer changes ATM attack story
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1111eleventy!
*rends clothes, dons sackcloth, casts dust into the air*
WHY, ASHLEY, WHYYYYYY????
*weeps uncontrollably, laughs uncontrollably, farts uncontrollably*
….
lulz
Now why exactly would he call those too fine men such horrible names?
HMMMM?
Did somebody say “SATAN?”
Whoa. That’s some serious batshittery right there.
Yep, it’s fraud … but trying to bust Obama for it is like seeing somebody jaywalk on a city street, then insisting to the cops that they’ve got to put out an APB on – or handcuff – the street itself. Chronic logic deficit. Sounds like somebody needs to dial the dosage on their ‘roids WAAAAY back, & pronto. Yes, I’m looking at YOU, Mr. O’ Spades.
The thought of all these intrepid “Martyr For Democracy” cybertards getting a visit from the (suitably unimpressed) fuzz is mighty damn lulzworthy, though. Ignorance of the law is no excuse – & it doesn’t even apply in this case: the stupid twits KNEW what they were doing was a crime – indeed, it is central to their point(-y heads). The evidence is publically plastered all over their shite blogs, to boot.
The course is clear: civic-minded lurkers should screencap their ass-hat “activism” For Great Justice, & unleash the hounds!
Hot-diggety-dog!
Hear, hear!
I may have a sincere desire to throat-punch more than a few of these self-righteous fuckwits – but I’m also grateful to them for regularly offering up the tender white underbelly of their naked idiocy on the Interwebs like a bloated pinata of fail – one so massive & fragile that an blind anemic 5-year-old could bust it wide open with one feeble swing … & for reminding me of just how far humanity has NOT evolved yet. That lesson is vital right now, & they illustrate it most thoroughly indeed.
They’re very useful to society – just not in the way they think they are.
Don’t fret goob,
The new story is simply:
That totally doesn’t let Obama off the hook. I mean who knocked her unconscious? And the backwards left-handed B? And the lack of ATM surveillance tape evidence? And the post trauma insertion of the memory of an 6′ 4″ scary black man? All hallmarks of a criminal-socialist-atheist-black power-islamist-terrorist-elitist mastermind!
Best election EVAR. MOAR PLZ. My only regret is that it is almost over…
like a bloated pinata of fail
Now that metaphor succeeds like a, a, …..
Like a Win!
Notably, all of the failed McLame tactics have blown up in his face because everything of which they’ve accused Obama has been thrown back in their faces 10 fold. It’s the stupidest campaign ever.
Palling around with terrorists.
That’s really an ontological statement, yet one which negates ontology
Poor goober’s going to spend all weekend trying to figure out what this has to do with cancer.
Fried, as in McCain’s goose.
IIRC, Ace made a real Ace of himself on TBogg’s comment section the day the 110th Congress was sworn in.
President Hussein X. Obama’s swearing-in day should be quite a spectacle from Giger’s Bacon-n-Play-Doh man.
Just to chime in on your little meta-bloggy crisis of faith: making fun of these tards is like getting vaccinated. It means that when, e.g., I see Michelle Bachmann on Hardball calling for investigations into anti-American members of Congress who are TEH EVERHWERE!!!1!, I don’t flip out and start screaming incoherently at my TV. Instead, I’m all “doop de do, another wingnut whose id overwhelms her media savvy”.
Sadly, No! is the smallpox vaccine of liberal fascism. Or something.
I’ve been reading this website for a while, and this is the first time I’ve felt compelled to comment. I’m touched by the philosophical self examination by Gavin here. Previously, I read this webpage just for the succinctly incisive and biting critiques of wingnut logic. Now we have a more interesting topic…a story arc of a complex human being. If there is one overriding theme to this webpage, it is that paragraphs and paragraphs of wingnut spew can be demolished in a few sentences because they, ultimately, are not that complex. I’d like to see more of the metastory such as how/why one gets involved in wingnut deconstruction, mental typologies you have created for wingnuts, etc.
Ah, but they claim that someone turned off the feature in the software that would require you type in that little ol’ 3 digit safety number on the back of your card. Is that true? I’ve been making my donations by check.
Poor goober’s going to spend all weekend trying to figure out what this has to do with cancer.
Well obviously, TRex, if it negates ontology it must be a magical cancer cure.
Jeez. How hard was that to figure out?
Bolded and seconded. Generating traffic is just a fact of the internet. You can’t quote the dirtwads without linking, but I think it’s still worth exposing these reptiles. In the long run the mockery will drive them back into corners.
Keep it coming, Gav (and DA, Clif, Brad, HTML, Seb, Jillian, Leonard, Travis)
Besides, you stop highlighting the idiocy and a lot of SN! junkies will be deprived of their daily ridicule fix.
Panic In Needle Snark.
I do believe the phrase I’m looking for is “Suck it, cons.”
Back to the drawing board. Again. Maybe this time that “whitey” tape will finally come out.
It was Bill Ayers who attacked poor Ashley. He dressed up like Obama, however, to further his Marxist conspiracy to blow up every American.
Oh, and I call Real Gary, above.
Winning is sweet. But watching the wingnuts lose…that’s even sweeter.
Seems to me that this open advocacy of donating under fraudulent names undercuts any chance the actual campaign has of using “bad donors” as a campaign issue
Some kind soul tried to point this out to the Corner gang yesterday but they were all too “I’ve got dibs on I.P Freely! Anybody used I.P. Freely yet?” to care.
You know –if these people were the orchestra on the Titanic, instead of nobly playing Nearer My God to Thee as the ship went down, they’d be flinging their own feces at each other.
And…..the McCain campaign worker has admitted to making the whole thing up.
“No one could have anticipated…” etc.
… mental typologies you have created for wingnuts, etc.
umm, not so much. How about Wingnuts in Party Hats?
FYWP!!!!!
By which I mean, I guess I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet, but I picked up a paperback copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,
Okay big shot, then why the hell am I having such a hard time starting my VTR1000 (Super Hawk) from cold? I’ve checked everything, battery, relay, wiring, you name it. But the damn thing won’t crank when cold.
Gavin,
Hope the existential crisis is over. Yer funny. You make peeple laff.
Should you feel for Ace? Sure, you’re human, you can empathize.
But c’mon. You didn’t make him moronic, and you don’t make him broadcast his moronosity over the intertubes. Mockery is the correct response to these wanna-be power players.
Also, spoiler, Siddartha turns out to be a libertarian at the end. I sooo didn’t see that coming.
why the hell am I having such a hard time starting my VTR1000 (Super Hawk) from cold? I’ve checked everything, battery, relay, wiring, you name it. But the damn thing won’t crank when cold.
Have you tried reversing the polarity on the plasma injectors? It always works on Star Trek.
I am grateful to the entity “stryx” for any & all bestowing of Winhood. I expect it to get slowly but surely ever-rarer until my demise, so I’ll scarf it up wherever I can get it at this point.
Yipes! People on the Interwebs can be so gosh-darn MEAN sometimes!
Check THIS Meany McMeanerson out:
Doesn’t look as nice on Ace Dot Moonoo – that stupid site won’t do paragraphs in comments. Book ‘im, Danno: Tacky-One!
Cramping someone’s style like that should be a CRIME!
So, has Ace tried smashing his eye into a doorknob yet?
No, but that’s the story his wife gave the police…
But you have to admit, the Obama campaign failed to place a protective moat around their donation site. And we all know what kind of moat they should have created.
Shorter Gavin: “…You win some, you lose some, it’s all the same to me/ The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say…”
You’re forgetting that Ace has sullied one of the greatest heavy metal songs of all time with his nom de wingnut. That alone is all the justification you need to mock him in perpetuity.
Crowley and Hesse? On my Sadly, No?
God I love this place.
a different brad said,
Careful with Zen. It’s a great and moving read, but Pirsig doesn’t know a goddamn thing about Plato and Socrates.
I don’t think Richard Bach knows that much about seagulls.
Nor was Hermann Hesse necessarily a first-hand expert on ferrying people across rivers.
…I picked up a paperback copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and after that, it’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull and I guess that Herman Hesse book.
Straight outta my reading list in 1986. Those were my real DFH days!
I don’t think Richard Bach knows that much about seagulls.
Agreed. Even if seagulls were able to teleport, they never would – it gives them no opportunity to shit on people standing below them.
Thanks for giving me the link to Ace. I loved how at the end he shares that he could not take any attitude of “scepticism” ‘coz if he publicly doubted any co-religionists from the school of Wingnuttia and fraud he’d give ammunition to the evil lib’ruls at CNN.
Ace has a hard time imagining the “danger” of putting out your own eye while fake-blackening it “against a doorknob” (!!) but he has no problem with voluntarily lobotimizing himself in order to keep the faith and believe utterly absurd horseshit, lest some liberal somewhere take satisfaction at his lack of credulity. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your own face!
These people are an evolutionary dead end, too stupid to function or survive outside the rarified world of right-wing GroupThink, generously funded by our corporate masters. Since most of the public no longer buys (or blissfully ignores) their lies, they are going to be very dangerous as their little worlds implode and they lash out in anger and hate. It’s going to be an interesting next few years . . .