Shorter Kathleen Parker
Posted on October 23rd, 2008 by Travis G.
Above: Mavrick
- It appears increasingly likely that large numbers of Republican voters will hold their noses and vote for a black Democrat for president. Barack Obama should interpret this to mean that they want him to govern the way John McCain says he would.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
So according to Parker, Palin = “hot babe” and McCain = “noble soldier”?
What?
She’s comparing blatant racism by avowed McCain/Palin supporters to some 4chan/Something Awful type putting Bible Spice’s head onto the body of a bikini model? Stay gold, ponygirl.
says would? says he would, right?
Y’know, I figured ‘what the fuck, why not?’ and clicked on the link.
But that piece of shit clownhall website is so loaded down with crap (ads, etc) that it took forever to load.
I got sick of waiting to read something that’s not worth reading anyway, so I bailed.
I guess I was saved from wasting yet more precious minutes of my life that I would have never gotten back.
So … Obama should base his governing style on the desires of a bunch of people who are ashamed to support a black man. Yeah, makes good sense to me.
Barack Obama should interpret this to mean that they want him to govern the way John McCain says would.
Yup. This is going to be the new fashion of wingnuttery. Become a nominal Democrat just to be on the winning team, then agitate for the same old trickle-down / imperialist crap.
Parker:
The McCain campaign is like a night out in Ibiza! You lucky dog, Gary.
K-Pax seems to have been taken behind the woodshed and spnaked for her last two columns.
ROFL, the thing is that Obama probably will govern in much the same way that McCain says he would, and McCain’s the one who actually wouldn’t govern the way he says he would, if given the chance.
Think about it – when did Bush, just to take an example, campaign on a platform of letting OBL get away scot free, lying about causus belli, and letting a major US city drown? Anybody want to argue that that was Bush’s mandate?
The piece is pure gold.
The -comments- are he finest, rarest platinum distilled from Aphrodite’s love juice.
There’s the guy saying McCain is the -real- candidate for change.
There’s one that says he hates mcCain and everything he stands for, but will be voting for him because republicans must never, EVER, lose. Then he calls Parker, Powell and others traitors.
Many are telling her to go be with her peers at DailyKos.
I really hope the rank-and-file conservative pundits are charging extra from their plutocrat overlords. Having to put on the chainmail diving suit and diving in to feed the sharks is getting more and more chaotic.
that piece of shit clownhall website is so loaded down with crap (ads, etc) that it took forever to load.
I had the exact same problem. Installing adblock and noscript only helped a little. It still took locked up firefox for a while.
I did like this:
“… polls only reflect what people say they think, not what they really think.”
My favorite comment. It’s like blank verse.:
“Appalled by McCain’s erratic behavior”
“and his unsuitable running mate”
Really.
Thats not the since i get.
Most of my friends or excited.
Let me say again,I dislike McCain.BUT
i will be voting for him.
I think Palin is a great choice.
I understand conservatives are mad,I’m one of them.BUT WE HAVE TO WIN THIS.
You,Ms.Parker,Ms.Noonin,and Mr.Powell.
have hurt the Republican Party.
At the end of the day,I will still dislike McCain.BUT I will have fought till the end
to make the republicion the WINNER.
Can you say the same.
ROB
Hmm Mary T, I think you’re on to something – horrible wingnut comments as blank verse beatnik poetry.
They would HATE that. I can only guess that for wingnuts with enough cognitive function to remember/have read about the beat scene, it would have to be worse than being compared to your average DFH.
Technically, it’s not blank verse unless it’s unrhymed iambic pentameter. (I know, I know, ****ing killjoy English major.)
But it’s still verse from a blank brain.
I still think that alot of the so called independent voters will not be able to vote for a black! They think that they can, but when it comes down to it, they will vote white all the time.
free minds, free marketsblank brains, empty verseIs it possible that the grade-A wingnuttery at Clownhall is the actual cause of computer slowness? Like, ALL computer slowness? Wingnuttery, after all, is a degenerative condition that shows no signs of peaking. Perhaps wingnuttery caused me to lose my car keys, or turned Coke to Pepsi.
I blame it all on wingnuttery.
Woof! I just went and waded around in the comments to Parker’s column. This one struck my eye:
“Subject: Elijah…
habitual liars have white mass replacing gray mass in front of their brains and the more they do it, the bigger it gets. They just seem like they are from another planet, if you’re not one of them. Modern technology is able to detect it, now, so one day we’ll be able to use it to weed them out of our businesses, politics, the press, etc. Praise the Lord and pass the wine.”
We have Reagan to thank for putting these people out on the street when they belong in padded cells…
Just for the yucks and so I could comment on an even-more-completely-wrong-than-usual Hooters Hewitt column, I signed up for Clownhall e-mail updates. It was some comedy gold for a few weeks- do wingnuts really sit around anxiously awaiting Fred “Remember me?” Thompson’s take on the emerging socialist threat?
Their unsubscribe process was ridiculous; I was apparently supposed to send them a freaking letter in order to get dropped from an e-mail mailing list. So I started donning my Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot hat and responding to each e-mail that way.
They dropped me, sadly. 🙁
This makes perfect sense.
After all, Republican voters are known and noted for being disgusted with dirty, personal campaigns which attack people and not policies.
Republicans hypocrites? That’s unpossible.
Parker giving permission to vote for the Black Guy because their candidate is so repulsive, is adorable. Has she been fired yet?
Stephen Ockham said,
says would? says he would, right?
Whoops! Thanks.
“Whatever the final tally, Obama should not interpret his victory as a mandate.”
Which just happens to be what a victory IS: a mandate to govern. Looks like someone skipped Social Studies class.
The commenters are still getting their hate on for KP, since she committed the cardinal sin of calling a dolt a dolt. The whole “Vote GOP, even if it destroys us all” routine is cute, in a python-swallowing-a-baby-goat kind of way.
Oh, & the Bradley Effect hasn’t reappeared since the mid-1990s, & it was generally rather marginal even then (I’ve heard that Bradley was kind of an asshole – not always a positive trait in election campaigns)… talk about pinning your hopes on a falling star.
“Whatever the final tally, Obama should not interpret his victory as a mandate.”
The mind reels.
Nice comment…getting ugly over there.
Reed Location: MO
Reply # 38
Date: Oct 22, 2008 – 3:22 AM EST
Kathleen Parker Hates God
That’s why she hates McCain/Palin
Do your job Townhall, silence “Washington Rose”
Yeah, sure, you think you’re voting to completely blow away 30 years of crazy Reaganite bullsh*t which has brought the nation to the brink of destruction, but, you know you really, really still want it. You just can’t admit it.
“… polls only reflect what people say they think, not what they really think.”
If only polls could be more like Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy.
~
Since Bush took office in 2001 with the opposite of a “mandate” and proceeded to govern like he was Reagan in ’84, I don’t see any reason for Barack Hussein X to do any different. If anything, the X Agenda should be even more extreme.
Seems reasonable.
Sorry, she lost me just by referring to a Navy vet as a soldier. Grrrr…
Yeah, Democrats are going to adopt all of McBush’s policies since they’ve worked so spectacularly well over the last eight years.
You’ve gone and let the cat out of the bag, Parker.
Now…….I have to call my therapist because I’ve already missed two appointments in a row.
.
They said this in 2006 too – that Democrats didn’t win, Republicans actually lost, so Democrats should actually act more like Republicans if they want to succeed.
The problem was, Democrats took their advice.
The hot babe lathers the crowd; the noble soldier hoses them down.
Yeah, I saw that movie. It was the night before the vice squad closed the place down …
Kathleen has finally told us who she will vote for and why in her her above comments. Needless to say, it is really Kathleen who is irratic and not McCain. Must be her time of the month. LOL
I hope Ms. Parker is being paid well for her efforts at Clown Hall.
So, basically the wingtard thinking nowadays is “you may hate our candidate and agree with Obama that the country’s on the wrong track, and maybe you even believe that the black guy would a better job but you must vote McCain anyway to spite the hippies. And any Republican who says different is a rage blinded, unhinged traitor who must be destroyed. Freedomspread.”
Yep, the grownups are in charge all right.
Whatever the final tally, Obama should
not interpret his victory as a mandateimmediately resign and concede the presidency to John McCain because that’s what the piqued white males will really want once their disgruntlement wears off.Whatever the final tally, Obama should
notinterpret his victory as a mandate.Fixed!
Dear Kathleen Parker,
You describe a voting segment – your Reverse-Bradleys – as “whites who would never admit to voting for a black man, but do” and”Republicans and conservatives who would never admit to voting for a Democrat, especially one so liberal”. We on teh left welcome their votes as every little bit that keeps Old Man McBombs-a-lot away from the Button is at-least-not-totally-crappy thing. However, when you state that “the Reverse-Bradley ballots won’t have been votes cast for Obama, but against a campaign turned ugly” you’ve lost your argument.
Has the McCain campaign been “ugly”? Yes it has – ugly, vile, racist and even more importantly – completely without substance. But the idea that anyone should listen to the cowards that recognize how singularly evil McCain’s campaign is, but still want to be part of it – that is ridiculous.
If you are a Republican/conservative and you feel you can’t possibly support the candidate your party has chosen – that’s not the fault of the Democrats. If you (and I don’t mean you personally Kathleen – the fact that you persist in the face of the reactions you’ve been getting deserves recognition) can’t speak up for yourself to your own ideological comrades, then why should anybody do it for you?
Obama also has a constituency that he has represented and is continuing to represent right now (well not at this exact moment, right now he is being a human being attending to his grandmother, but you know what I mean). To suggest that he should ignore them for the sake of a few disgruntled and cowardly conservatives is naive, wrong, insulting and epically self-absorbed.
Yours, with the hopes that you continue on your journey of recognizing how unfathomably fucked up the right-wing is,
Dragon-King Wangchuck
Kathleen Parker…..what a waste of bandwidth.
jenniebee,
That’s not fair. Bush campaigned as a Compassionate Conservative, and…
Oh, wait…
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
Some things get started by others starting
Like finger-snapping at a beatnik party
There are no funny lawyers. There are funny people who made career mistakes.
There are no compassionate conservatives. There are only compassionate people who . . . OK, I got nothing. But I’m pretty sure “compassionate” and “conservative” are like oxymaroons. Or something.